Archive - January, 2009

Godspeed, President Obama

(Or, the obligatory inauguration post)

I did not vote for Barack Obama, but he is my president. We the people have spoken and now President Obama is about to make history. While I take issue with those who say that he will be the first black president, he is clearly a man of color, and he is clearly the President of the United States of America. I take issue with the claim that he is the first black president because, being bi-racial myself (half white/half Asian), I cannot imagine disavowing any part of my heritage in order to fit a profile (even though many past employers have strongly encouraged me to do so), and while some of his handlers may have done this, I don’t believe Barak Obama has, nor would he do the same. But I digress…

I have prayed for, and will continue to pray for Mr. Obama, as the pressures and responsibilities that have been placed upon his shoulders are unimaginable to me. I have been encouraged by some of his cabinet selections and his willingness to bring people of different viewpoints into the fold. I will not, nor will I buy into the “cult of personality” that the mainstream media has created. I have but one Savior. Nor will I engage in the politics of personal destruction as so many pundits from the far left and right have often gleefully participated in. And while you could argue that there are few things that I would NOT make fun of, the office of the president demands and deserves respect, regardless of your personal feelings for the person who holds said office. Late night comedians and shows like Saturday Night Live make their living off of satirizing people in political office. While much of it is very funny, it has often crossed the line and become entirely too personal and down right cruel. My hope is that ALL of us, regardless of our political leanings and/or affiliations, would remember the words of Dr. King as we begin a new era in The United States of America:

I say to you today, my friends, so even though we face the difficulties of today and tomorrow, I still have a dream. It is a dream deeply rooted in the American dream.

I have a dream that one day this nation will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed: “We hold these truths to be self-evident: that all men are created equal.”

I have a dream that one day on the red hills of Georgia the sons of former slaves and the sons of former slave owners will be able to sit down together at the table of brotherhood.

I have a dream that one day even the state of Mississippi, a state sweltering with the heat of injustice, sweltering with the heat of oppression, will be transformed into an oasis of freedom and justice.

I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character.

I have a dream today.

I have a dream that one day, down in Alabama, with its vicious racists, with its governor having his lips dripping with the words of interposition and nullification; one day right there in Alabama, little black boys and black girls will be able to join hands with little white boys and white girls as sisters and brothers.

I have a dream today.

Amen, Dr. King. We’ve come a long way, but there is still much work to be done. Having said that, I am very proud to be an American, and I am grateful for those who have paid the ultimate sacrifice while protecting the freedoms I often take for granted, including writing this silly little blog.

Ann and Nancy Wilson – let me explain…

Since I have begun a self-imposed moratorium from my computer on Sundays and Wednesday, but still have access to my email and GMail via by blackberry, I was able to read, but not respond to all the comments on my SARCASTIC post about Ann and Nancy Wilson. For those of you who haven’t noticed, some people might say that my writing can sometimes be a tad “ironic”. (You know, like some people might say David Duke is a tad “racist”.)

For the record, I want to be clear: I think Ann and Nancy Wilson are awesome with a capital “Awwwwee”. I was just being silly. Furthermore, Nancy might just be the coolest guitar playing chick ever. (Save for Bonnie Raitt – she holds that title, for me, anyway). Oh, and Carol. Carol is way cool…

In an effort to redeem myself, I present the Wilson sisters in a recent concert Seattle, Washington. Anyone who can still belt out “Crazy on You” whist carrying their AARP membership in their back pocket gets HUGE props from me. I don’t know many vocalists in their 20’s that could pull that song off. Long live the Wilson sisters!

In a word: Amazing. (Truly, I am not worthy.)

Leftovers (Again!?!)

In an attempt at fancy word for telling the truth transparency, I wanted to let you know I have come to the realization that the laundry is piling up again I have been devoting a bit too much time to my computer lately. My husband is busy with work and the kids are really bugging him. My family requires and deserves more of my time. Because of this, I have decided to abstain from my computer completely on Sundays and Wednesday, and only check my gmail before the kids wake up or they’re over at a friend’s house spend brief amounts of time here on Saturdays.

Having said that, I realize I have some new apparent gluttons for punishment readers who have yet to read some of my earlier posts, and because I think they might enjoy some of my earlier various and sundry neuroses musings, I wanted to share this post I originally wrote several months ago. Ladies and Gentlemen, I present for your perusal: “Ann and Nancy, I don’t think I heart you anymore”:

When I was in junior high, I was Ann Wilson and my friend Laurie was Nancy of the superbly awesome band Heart. We chose each sister because we had long brown hair and long blond hair, respectively. Naturally, we both got perms to completely pull off the look, and Laurie played a mean air guitar. To me, these 2 sisters were the definition of cool. Ann with her amazing vocal range and Nancy with her daft guitar playing skills. Nancy wasn’t just a chick who could play guitar, she was actually a great guitar player. Little Queen, Dreamboat Annie and Dog & Butterfly were, to me, three incredibly amazing albums. Granted, they put out a sizable amount of really crappy music after that, but much can be forgiven when you have that kind of legacy. (Call we all say “Aerosmith” together?) I also got the sense that Ann and Nancy were true and faithful to their art. It was the work that mattered, not the fame or the money. What was “Barracuda” all about anyway? It’s been many years since Heart’s heyday, but great music remains great. From time to time, I still dress up in my saucy wench outfit, put on my “Little Queen” CD and get my angry diva on. That is, until I saw this:

Not only did they sell out to THE MAN, but they allowed my beloved “Barracuda” to be used in an effort to convince soccer moms that driving a minivan was cool. Bono himself could drive one — cool, they are not!

In closing, I would like to add a personal message to Ann and Nancy Wilson (because I’m pretty sure they read my blog):

“Sell me, sell you the porpoise said,
Dive down deep to save my own head
You…I think you got the blues too.”

INDEED! (This is me, slowly shaking my head in disappointment.)

Is it just me, or does this make you want to vomit?

Angela recently wrote a post about an obnoxious commercial encouraging men to buy personalized teddy bears for their wives or girlfriends (wink, wink!) from the fine folks at the Vermont teddy bear company. This post is sort of in the same vein. I want to say for the record that this post has been in my draft file for about a week, so I’m not riding her coattails or anything. (Not that there’s anything wrong with that. I often get inspiration for posts from other bloggers.) I just wanted to point out that she and I must be on the same wave length. Which is super duper cool for me, but probably a bit unsettling for her. (For the record, that commercial also makes me wants to make me throw up.)

Actually, in comparison to this next little gem, it only rises to the level of a vurp. (To those of you new to my blog, that means vomit + burp — you’re welcome.) Without further adieu, I give you The Prayer Cross:

There are so many things in this commercial that anger me that I will have to dissect and analyze it a bit at a time:

“Watch as people gaze in amazement as the experience the magic of the prayer cross for the first time.” Errr, magic? Didn’t I read somewhere in the bible that magic is a bad thing?

“Creating not only a magnificent piece of jewelry, but a one of a kind spiritual accessory.” You mean like love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control? That kind of spiritual accessory? Oh, wait, that’s the Fruits of the Spirit. Everyone knows that it’s really tacky when you wear fruit as an accessory. Nothing at all like this necklace.
“When held up to the light, the entire Lord’s Prayer becomes instantly and almost miraculously visible.” Well, at least they said “almost miraculously”. Don’t want to be stretching the truth or anything.

“Each prayer cross comes with a certificate of authenticity.” Which is reassuring. Because you’d probably go straight to H-E double hockey sticks if you get one of those fake prayer crosses.

“The prayer cross is the perfect way to say Happy Easter or Merry Christmas.” Hmmm…I kind of think the best way to say Merry Christmas is to celebrate the birth of the Savior of the world (the One who left His perfect home in paradise where He sat at the right hand of the Father to die an excrutiating death on the cross for the atonement of our sins) and to give comfort, encouragement and hope to the marginalized in society. You know, like Jesus did. And while the prayer cross is undoubtedly “blingtastic”, If I chose to wear a cross, it would be something simple. Not necessarily made of wood and stained with blood, sweat and tears, but a more humble representation of the ultimate price that was paid at Calvary.

“…and is sure to bring joy and comfort to all who wear it.” I don’t know about you, but wearing a shiny cross made out of genuine Austrian crystals and sterling silver does not bring me joy or comfort. The very idea that a person might believe they can purchase a trinket and it will somehow fill that giant, God-shaped hole their heart is both infuriating and heartbreaking. (Not to mention blasphemous.)

This is just one more thing that feeds into the heretical teachings of the prosperity gospel, leading people to believe that God is for the express purpose of blessing them (instead of the other way around); that your financial status is directly linked to your own personal holiness; that if you are poor or sick or you have lost a loved one and your heart is breaking, it is because you are of little faith. And speaking of well known biblical passages, how do these health and wealth preachers explain the beatitudes? Would someone PLEASE explain to me how you get around that particular passage of scripture?

I know that there are a few pastors who read my blog. (Don’t worry, I won’t turn you in the secret society of holiness.) I am sincerely asking why, with the notable exception of John Piper, more highly visible Christian leaders aren’t speaking out against this blasphemy? I am totally off base with this? Please give me your honest opinion, anonymously or otherwise. Because as far as I’m concerned, the Christian community as a whole should be involved in the spiritual equivalent of roaming the streets in an angry mob with torches and pitchforks to expose these people for who they really are. (In Christian love, of course. Always in love.)

When I picture the Perfect Gift, during communion or simply during quiet time, my concept of beauty looks more like this:

(End of rant. I’m going to go cry now…)
Update: Joanna reminded me that there are other high profile pastors speaking out against this stuff. So, thanks for that. Piper just seems more appropriately pissed off about it.

Cartoon Bloggers Part 2

While I am a bit disappointed that Tim Keller has STILL not paid a visit to my humble little blog, I’m sure he’s probably busy and it’s on his to-do list. I am willing to be patient (for now). I thought yesterday’s post went pretty well and no one featured was offended (that I am aware of). Incidentally, I am also waiting for Shepard Smith to comment on my blog, but I digress…

I knew I was going to catch grief from Angela over at Vanities of Vanities for assigning The Little Mermaid to someone else! Yes, Angela, I KNOW that you are now and will forever be the REAL Little Mermaid, and this probably won’t make up for that slight, but I kind of saw it a little differently. As you know, Ariel was a mermaid that longed to be human, whereas her daughter Melody was (much like you) was a girl that longed to be a mermaid. And while I realize that this most likely does not make up for the slight, I simply thought it would make more sense:

Having said that, another character comes to mind when I think of Angela. Even though I probably have a good 40 pounds on her (and that’s likely a conservative estimate) I’m pretty sure she could kick my butt if she wanted to, because she’s a fighter. Not in the literal sense, mind you, but in the courageous, fight for what’s right even when life gives you a sh*t sandwich kind of fighter. I could be wrong, but something tells me that I’m not. So my second character association for Angela is Mulan. I realize she’s not Asian, but she’s not a cartoon character either.

Logically, the next person on my list would be Shawn from Brain Clutter, since I found Shawn’s blog through Angela’s blog. But honestly, where did you ever get the impression that I was logical? Besides, I haven’t quite narrowed down that selection just yet. I have a couple in mind, but nothing that just screams “Shawn”. So I promise I will get back to her very soon.
I’m going to be transparent here and tell you that it’s 11:53 p.m. central time, I just got back from my first praise team practice in over 6 months (which lasted 3-1/2 hours — not because we practiced that much, but because none of us can shut up long enough to pick up our keys and walk out the door), and rather than try to rush through this thing when I’m tired, I am going to close out this post with a couple of really easy, no-brainer comparisons — not the bloggers, the comparisons. (See how I get when I’m tired?)
First up, Joanna from Joanna Muses. I honestly don’t know much about Joanna except that a) she is a student, b) based upon a couple of her posts that I’ve read she seems pretty wise for someone so young, c) she is from Australia, d) I think Australia is WICKED AWESOME! Obvious comparison Numero Uno: Joanna and Bill the Cat. I think Joanna is cuter than Bill, but you get the general idea.

I know a little more about Christy from Warning: Sleep Talking Zone than I do Joanna, but not much. She’s closer to my age, is a mom like me (but not a slacker mom like me because she’s a homeschooler — not that if you don’t home school you’re a slacker mom, but I happen to fit into that little paradigm quite nicely thankyouverymuch!) Oh, geez! Where was I? Okay, obvious comparison Numero Twono (I know, you’re impressed at my Spanish – You don’t need lessons Angela, I’ll teach you everything I know!)

AHEM, Numero Twono:
Christy and Wonderwoman:

By the way, I have it on good authority that the first picture is an actual un-retouched photo of Christy taken this past Halloween. Color me impressed!

I may or may not post another cartoon blogger installment tomorrow. I’ve got several pictures saved and ready to go, and I have every intention of finishing what I started out to do. But I feel a prosperity gospel rant coming on, and when that happens there’s only two things I can do:

1) Rant incessantly about it on this blog, or

2) Go to Walmart with a black sharpie and do little cosmetic dentistry to the 19 rows of Joel Osteen books.

And since they’ve got me on surveillance video there and they were kind enough to let me off with a warning the last couple of time that happened, I just don’t think the second option is such a good idea.

Update: In the weaning hours of Tuesday night that quickly turned into the early hours of Wednesday morning, I made the following rather flippant statement: “it’s 11:53 p.m. central time, I just got back from my first praise team practice in over 6 months (which lasted 3-1/2 hours — not because we practiced that much, but because none of us can shut up long enough to pick up our keys and walk out the door.)” And while it is true that everyone there has the propensity to shoot the shi gift of gab, I do not want to leave the impression that I am not grateful for that time. We talked at length about, among other things, the path that lead us back together to form this little band of ragamuffins. While I have the ability to sometimes recognize when God opens a door, I often fail to see soon enough when He closes a door, or in some cases, slams it shut in your face repeatedly. So that time was incredibly humbling and reflective for me. But that subject is best left to another post which probably should be written by another author. I just wanted to clear that up.

I was just thinking the other day…

I was just thinking the other day, what if my blogger pals were cartoon/fictional characters? Who might they be? Because I realize that this series of posts will be scrutinized by one blogger in particular (who shall remain nameless, but you’ll figure out soon enough if you read the comments because she’s a bit on the chatty side, bless her heart). I have given the following representations probably WAY more thought than I should have. But like my dad always told me, “Anything worth doing is worth doing well.” (Actually, I believe his exact words were, “IF YOU’RE GOING TO DO SOMETHING HALF-*SS, DON’T DO IT AT ALL!” But tomAto, tomotto, whatever…

Without further adieu, I give you my humble attempt at blogger characterization with artistic license:

I’ll start with the pastors who read this blog, which is both flattering and perplexing simultaneously. I get that Jeff reads, but mostly because he needs to know how to pray for me on any given day…being the shepherd of my particular flock and whatnot. But I digress…

For reasons I will not expound upon here because I think it’s been covered in numerous comments between blogs, the first image that came to me for Matt at the Church of No People was this one:
(you’re welcome). But Christmas underwear blog posts and comments aside, I don’t think Tommy Pickles from Rugrats is really representative of Matt. So how does one represent a pastor who is artsy, funny, irreverent, and has the spiritual gift of sarcasm? This proved to be quite difficult. The best I can offer is some weird morphing scenario of the following three characters: Bart Simpson, Napoleon Dynamite and Legolas from Lord of the Rings. (Don’t ask — it just kind of gelled in my head that way.)

Next up is super duper mega-church pastor Pete Wilson from Without Wax.

If I’m being honest (and I am, btw) the first image that popped into my head was this one: Freddy from Scooby Doo. “And I would have gotten away with it too! If it hadn’t have been for you meddling kids and that DOG of yours!”
My sincere apologies, kind readers. My computer was suddenly and viciously ripped from my lap by Old Man Jenkins! But fear not, he is in handcuffs as we speak and is being lead away by the cartoon version of Don Knotts.
Now…where was I? Oh, yeah! And seriously — check out the stance — except for the position of the right arm, it’s nearly identical! (Okay, I just got incredibly lucky on that particular google search.) Even though I would consider this high praise (as I was a big Freddy fan back in the day), I don’t want to be disrespectful to Pete by comparing him to an ascot wearing, mystery solving cartoon character who likely hung out with a bunch of stoners with the munchies all the time. (Not judging here, I’m just saying.) So my pick for Pete is Wesley/the Dread Pirate Roberts from “The Princess Bride”.

Because I think he has a great sense of humor (which is incredibly fortunate for me), and because he is a brave hero in some very unconventional, outside the box kind of ways.

For some unknown reason, author and Presbyterian mega-church pastor Dr. Timothy Keller has yet to find his way to my humble little blog. But since I’m sure it’s only a matter of time, I will share with you what I believe to be somewhat of a dead ringer comparison: Captain Picard from Star Trek: The Next Generation

For the record, I would not be opposed to a certain wax-free mega-church pastor (wink, wink) casually mentioning my blog address at the next relevant pastors luncheon /meet-and-greet. (I just wanted to put that out there.)

And just for grins, I have two more well known pastoral comparison:

Vince Antonucci: Pastor, Church Planter and author of “I became a Christian and all I got was this Lousy T-shirt” (which, incidentally is a GREAT book. I’d give you a copy but I bought a case of them and have since given them all away. But once again, I digress…) AHEM!
Vince Antonucci and Joe Pesci in “My Cousin Vinnie”. (I realize that many of you may not know who Vince is, but I saw him at a church planting conference last summer…and you’re just going to have to trust me on this one. Furthermore, in case you haven’t noticed, I write this blog primarily for my own amusement. And just in case you haven’t noticed, I crack myself up.

And last but not least…

(Oh, shut up. You know I’m right!)

And now for my very favorite pastor, Jeff Hogan of Convergence Christian Church

I’m going to have to throw this one out there for a few reasons, but the chief one being that Jeff does a pretty stirring rendition of “The Cheeseburger Song”. Ladies and gentlemen, may I present, Mr. Lunt from Veggie Tales

While this comparison is accurate for me in many ways (The moustaches are uncanny aren’t they?), I cannot leave it at that. Even though I am hopelessly sarcastic most of the time and joke around with him on a regular basis, I also consider Jeff to be just below God, Jesus Christ, The Holy Spirit, the apostles, and my husband Ron on the list of my all-time spiritual heroes. Furthermore, my involvement in ministries that he has led is probably why I set the bar so very high for other pastors. For those reasons, my comparison for Jeff is William Wallace: because he is driven by the love of his life (Jesus Christ), fights for what is right — sometimes against seemingly insurmountable odds, will not be bought or influenced by fame or titles, and truly is a Warrior Poet. If you know my affinity for the movie Braveheart, you will understand how big of a deal that is. Incidentally, I would crawl across broken glass for Jeff and his family.

And since featuring Jeff without Tamara would be like talking about Salt without Peppa (the rap group, not the seasonings), here is my comparison for my lovely and talented friend Tamara:

Why Ariel from The Little Mermaid? A few reasons: First, she is somewhat clumsy when out of water and, like Ariel she is a bit of a non-conformist rebel willing to buck the status quo if necessary. But the main reason I chose this comparison is that when Tamara sings, her voice is so hauntingly beautiful that it literally moves me to tears at times. She is also a bit on the shy side, very humble, and will probably cringe as she reads this. But it’s true. Her voice might not technically be considered among the all-time greats, but passion and soul cannot be measured in any quantitative way. Unfortunately, she does kind of suck at American Idol for Wii – mostly because she keeps trying to sing harmony instead of lead. So, currently I am the reigning American Idol of my family room and am appearing nightly upon request.

I know I said I would be posting everyone from my blog roll plus some others, but once again I have bitten off more than I can chew. I could not possibly fit everyone into one blog post without giving up the little luxuries I’ve come to enjoy like sleep and personal hygiene. I will be featuring some more of my favorite bloggers tomorrow and on subsequent posts after that. I will say for the record that I will not be writing about one particular group of bloggers until a certain geeky church planter chick gets back from her Internet sabbatical. I just wouldn’t feel right about that. I hope I haven’t kept anyone awake at night worrying about what kind of horrible manifestation I would come up with for them. I really am trying to be nice here! (Well, the Joel Osteen one wasn’t very nice, but what can I say? He probably had that one coming.) Stay tuned…

Katdish fancypants

Believe it not, I actually figured out how to add a column to my blog without destroying everything else! I’m feeling pretty techno-geeky at the moment.

This will be a brief post. As I’m sure you can imagine, the in-depth, painstaking research for my “Match the Blogger with the Cartoon/Fictional Character” post due out Tuesday is fairly intensive!

But because I realize that many of you come here seeking wisdom and discernment when raising children (snort), I wanted to post this brief advisory. I am a firm believer that you should allow you kids to fail. If you bring little Johnny his homework every time he forgets it, he will learn that he never has to be responsible and/or accountable for anyone because someone will always be there to bail him out. Which sometimes can mean literally bailing him out of jail. Having said that, I do think it is important to occasionally check your children’s homework to ensure that they are grasping the concepts being taught in school and that they are not rushing through their work before I-Carly comes on. (I’m speaking in generalities here, of course.) If you review their homework, say, once or twice a week, you will not find a spelling paper three weeks after the fact that has the following spelling errors:

I really must end this post, I hear my daughter calling me. She probably needs help getting her sh*t off…

Possible Fodder for your Blog

Are you one of those bloggers that subscribe to or are a member of one of those sites that helps you with ideas and ways to get more traffic on your blog? Yeah, me neither. But some of my blogger friends do this and I think it’s kind of cool. Since I had tons of fun with a meme (I don’t even know what that means) that Steph sent to me, I thought I throw one of my own out there. This is an idea that’s been rolling around in my head for a few days. In case you don’t know me that well, that’s kinda like hanging out at the video arcade: It’s fun every now and then, but it can become dangerous if frequented too often. Anyway, here’s my premise:

Put aside the fact that that just might be the lamest puppet in the history of video and work with me here. I feel for Chris Rice because that song is probably one of his better known ones yet it is not representative of the rest of his body of work. Sort of like “Awesome God” by Rich Mullins. While it’s probably his most recognized song, it’s really not in the same vein as most of his work. Incidentally, I’ve been told that he wrote that song while he was sitting in traffic and was getting angry at the other drivers around him. But I digress…

I plan to work on this idea and post it on Tuesday. I am going to select bloggers from my blogroll and throw some others in (because I read more blogs than are on my roll) and assign them cartoon characters or fictional characters that I feel best relates to them. It might be based on personal appearance, character traits, or a combination of the two. I will probably be way off on some, but I promise I’ll be considerate and not post anything that anyone might find offensive or might unintentionally hurt some one’s feelings. I might screw that up, too. But I want you to know before I do it that that is not my intent. It’s just stuck in my head and I gotta shake it out. In the meantime, if anyone else wants to do this, I think it might be fun. Plus, I’m curious to see what you come up with for me. Oh, and just so we get this one off the table, I don’t want to see this one:

Did I just hear a collective “Dang!”?

P.S. – I’ve been playing around with my blog layout a little. No big changes, just trying to add another column. So, hopefully it will look a little better soon. (Not “fancy”, just better)


My buddy Steph at The Red Clay Diaries tagged me to write seven weird things about myself. Seriously, it would be more of a challenge to write seven things that were normal about me, but whatever. So, I thought I’d throw in some things that would you might find surprising about me, because I’m fairly sure you’re down with the fact that I’m pretty weird. Well, here goes:

1) Since some of my blogger friends kept commenting on my blog, thereby distracting me from writing this post (I’m ignoring you Steph, by the way), by the time I was ready to write this, all the clever titles had been taken. So I was originally going to call this blog post “HOT MONKEY SEX“. But then I thought about what kind of traffic a title like that might bring in, and how bitterly disappointed they would be, and thought better of it.

2) This might come as a surprise to some people, but I really like Audrey Hepburn. I am nothing like her, but she was such a class act. Plus, she was a real nutcase in “Breakfast at Tiffany’s”, and that endeared her to me. Check out these quotes from her: “For beautiful eyes, look for the good in others; for beautiful lips, speak only words of kindness; and for poise walk with the knowledge that you are never alone.” AND “People, even more than things, have to be restored, renewed, revived, reclaimed and redeemed; never throw out anyone.” How classy it that? Love that woman. I have a large, framed picture of her in my studio.

3) If you read Pete Wilson’s blog (and the hundreds of comments), you may already know this, but toads and frogs freak me out! When I was a kid, I hated wearing shoes. I loved the feel of the grass on my feet. This resulted in two unfortunate end results. The first being what my sister referred to as “grocery store feet” and the worst was this: I would on occasion step on and squish frogs and toads with my bare feet. I’ll give you a minute to recover from that horrible imagery. Allow me to share with you a comment I made today on Pete’s blog:

Dear Mr. Without Wax,

We love your blog! We read it all the time here at work. But do you think it would be possible to change the name?


Yours friends at the Yankee Candle Company

Okay, seriously! Happy Birthday! I could lie and say that I’ve been here from the start, but I’ve only been reading since December (and lying is wrong). But I’m glad we blog rolled each other even steven (snort!)

Oh, and get THIS! FROG UPDATE:

I was on the back patio (aka large slab of concrete) with my dog, Buddy Love and when I opened the back door, I heard and felt a big, wet SPLAT! on my forearm. I looked down to discover that there was a slimy, bright green TREE FROG on my arm! So, I did what anyone would have done in that situation, I screamed AAARRRRGGGHHHH! at the top of my lungs, shook it off my arm and ran in the house like a 4 year old girl. And do you want to know the worst part? When I told my husband what I was screaming about, HE ROLLED HIS EYES AT ME! and frankly he was incredibly dispassionate (I don’t even know if that’s a word, but I’m on a roll) about my plight. Sure, he was on a conference call with his boss and some investors, BUT STILL! IT WAS A SLIMY, NASTY FROG AND IT WAS ON MY ARM! Okay. Glad I got that off my chest. I feel much better…Happy Birthday, again!

P.S. – Please feel free to delete any or all of my annoying comments. I can assure you, you wouldn’t be the first megachurch pastor blogger to do so.

4) Wow. I’m only on #4? I better shorten these up a bit. Okay: I enjoy making annoying comments on well known pastor’s blogs. To Pete’s credit, he has been super, abundantly gracious and cool about it. Which, coupled with the fact that most of them never even respond to my comments, really speaks volumes about the guy. (I should probably look deep into my soul and figure out why I do this, but I don’t feel like it.)

5) I am right handed, but not naturally. When I first picked up a pencil, I did so with my left hand. But my older sisters kept moving it to my right hand. The results of this are numerous, but the biggest ones are that I have a permanent callous on my ring finger and a slightly freakish looking fingernail on the same hand. On the up side, I can paint with both hands, throw and catch a ball, bat, play tennis with either arm.

6) This probably stems from the whole left/right hand confusion thing, but to this day, I can’t tell my left from my right without pretending to eat. Actually, when I’m giving directions to someone, I unconsciously tug on my right ear, because my right ear is double-pierced.

7) I am sincerely, absolutely astonished at how fortunate I am. I’m not saying that to sound humble — I really am completely perplexed by it. Consequently, there is not a day that goes by that I don’t think about the following verse: “For unto whomsoever much is given, of him shall be much required: and to whom men have committed much, of him they will ask the more.” (Luke 12:48b)

So there’s my list. Any questions?

Oh, yeah…I was going to tag some other people, but I forget who everybody else tagged and I’m too lazy to go back and check. So, if you are reading this blog, feel free to tell me all about your freaky self (with the notable exception of the HOT MONKEY SEX people)and post it here in the comments section, on your blog, or myspace, or twitter, or facebook, or whatever…Peace out.

I heart Shepard Smith

The following blog post should probably be categorized under “0ld news that not many people care about anymore.” But sometimes I get some sort of prompt that reminds me of something else, and so on. My prompt for this post was seeing Shepard Smith on the Fox Report saying something incredibly sarcastic(and funny).

I’m not easily impressed by celebrities. Just because someone is famous doesn’t make them worthy of honor — often their fame and their subsequent intoxication by it makes them quite unworthy of honor and generally annoying in my opinion. I’m not saying that Shepard Smith is an honorable man. I honestly don’t know. But in the days following Hurricane Katrina, as politicians and pundants wasted valuable time pointing fingers at one another attempting to place the blame on somebody else’s shoulders, I saw Shepard Smith on a freeway overpass. An overpass that I have driven on many times. But instead of cars and trucks, it was filled with weary, desparate people who had not eaten nor even had clean water to drink in days. And instead of going for the “money shot” (the dead bodies scattered upon that vast stretch on concrete and steel) or allowing himself to be brought into some ridiculous conservative versus liberal debate, he stood there on that bridge and said the very words that I was screaming at my television: “Send help. Tiny babies are not getting formula and there are elderly people who are in desparate need of medical attention.” To whomever would listen he pleaded for someone to simply come and help. His frustration with the situation was obvious, and his outrage, while not fully expressed, was palattable and sincere. (Which, incidentally, was in stark contrast to Geraldo Rivera’s pathetic grandstanding outside the Superdome with a tiny baby held up in front of the cameras and saying without words “Look how incredibly compassionate I am”. But that’s another tangent — don’t EVEN get me started.) The following is a quote taken from a recent bio I read about Shepard Smith. It is in response to a question about an exchange between Sean Hannity and Smith after Hannity asked about “perspective”:

When I told Sean Hannity, “That’s all the perspective you need,” I was aware that thousands of people were living on a freeway in 95-degree weather, that some of them needed insulin, and some of them needed baby formula, and right over that bridge those things existed, and they weren’t allowed to go there. That was my whole world. I did not know that the rest of the world had turned this political. How the f*ck could they have done that? I was so astonished to get on one of our opinion programs — Hannity & Colmes — and to learn that the rest of the world was apparently thinking of Katrina in terms of left and right, R and D. Poverty is not a new thing to me. Segregation is not a new thing. But that these happen to be the people who are now in need, and no leadership is emerging to give them what they need, was beyond all reason. So that was all the perspective he needed. [Sean] just didn’t know that.

I have always liked Shepard Smith, but after that coverage I became a fan – mostly because he made it very clear to the viewer that these were human beings in dire need of attention, not just some breaking news story. In my opinion, he is someone that takes the business of reporting the news very seriously. He does not however, take himself or the media circus that he often finds himself the unwitting ring master of very seriously.

The following video is not a commentary on whether or not I think OJ Simpson is a murderer, whether justice can truly be blind when a celebrity is involved, or my personal opinion of Fox News Channel. The reason for this post has nothing to do with the aforementioned topics. I am posting this video because when it originally aired in November of 2007, I thought it was just about the most outrageously funny commentary I’ve ever heard on television. And because, as the title of the post indicates, I heart Shepard Smith.


(Did you catch the part at the end where he gave out that guy’s email address? Classic!)

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