What NOT to give for Valentine’s Day

I would like to state for the record that my dh and I do not celebrate Valentine’s Day. If you read this blog on a regular basis, you know my anniversary is also in February. We celebrate that. I’m not hating on February 14. Feel free to spend your hard earned money on fattening chocolate, overpriced greeting cards and jewelry, dying flowers and stuffed animals that no one over the age of six should own. Okay, maybe I am hating on it a little bit…

But seriously, as a recovering pack rat, I am vehemently anti-crap. Have you been to Walmart, Target, et. al. the day AFTER Valentine’s Day? It is a virtual wasteland of pink, red and white leftovers that no one needed in the first place. While I am tempted to do so, I will not begin a rant about how there are about a million worthy charities that will suffer because of the economy, and how they could use the money that people will spend on sentimental, sappy, useless items; the recepients of which will keep forever so as not to feel like uncaring, heartless robots. Okay, maybe I’m hating on it A LOT!

Now girlfriends, don’t be mad at me for writing this. You know I’m not a girly-girl. In fact, when it comes to February 14, I’m kind of a guy. Truth be told, I’m not really romantic in the traditional sense of the word. Flowers, candy and jewelry are great if you like that stuff, but I’m a pretty low maintenance chick when it comes to personal, material things. The kind of things that I appreciate are more intangible: offering to take and/or pick up the kids from school or some extracurricular activity, emptying the dishwasher and loading it, picking up donuts on Sunday morning before church as I rush around trying to get ready, getting the kids up and letting me sleep in occasionally on a school day, picking up dinner when it’s obvious I don’t have a clue or a plan for the evening meal. These are all things that my husband does for me on a regular basis. He makes me feel special every day. For me, Valentine’s Day displays of love and appreciation seem forced, superficial and manipulative.

If this day is special for you and your main squeeze, please don’t take offense to my distaste of it. I may be hating on the manipulation behind the holiday and how incredibly depressing and left out it can make single people feel, but I would never hate on genuine displays of love and affection (as long as they are the appropriate and non-creepy variety). And speaking of genuine displays of love and affection, here is a commercial that is the complete opposite of that. It also makes me want to projectile vomit:

Conclusion: You give her a bear = She owes you something in return (wink, wink).

NOTE: For my male readers that think it would be a great idea to forward this post to their wives in lieu of the usual Valentine’s Day gift, I need to remind you of three things:

  1. If February 14 is a special day for her, you might want to indulge her.
  2. The couch is probably a lousy place to spend a Saturday night, and
  3. I’m guessing your lovely wife does not fart then blame it on the dog — there are two sides to every coin.

Angela wrote a post about this too. Check it out.

For more helpful shopping tips for Valentine’s Day, check out my post on The Fellowship of the Traveling Smartypants

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26 Responses to “What NOT to give for Valentine’s Day”

  1. Beth February 12, 2009 at 8:02 am #

    >Dude, that commercial makes me want to spew as well….

  2. Mylestones February 12, 2009 at 8:02 am #

    >I saw this commercial yesterday in the Jiffy Lube waiting room. At first, I thought it was a spoof of some sort. But then it kept going, and going, and finally an “order now” from the Vermont Teddy Bear Co. SERIOUSLY?
    I’m ashamed to have to share New England with these people who somehow think tattooed teddy bears are a good idea. They’ve taken valentine’s day crap to new lows….

  3. sherri February 12, 2009 at 9:13 am #

    >Okay, don’t be hatin’ on me, but I’m liking the bear with the tattoo! And he comes with FREE CHOCOLATE! Come on…it would work on me. I’m pretty easy though.
    Easy to please, NOT what you were thinking!

  4. Annie K February 12, 2009 at 9:19 am #

    >Do they have a Harley package for Sherri?

  5. Candace Jean July 16 February 12, 2009 at 9:31 am #

    >I got the best Valentine’s Day gift of all – yesterday. Hubby took all the previously frozen-to-the-ground Christmas decorations down! Nothing says love like a shed packed with stupid reindeer. We don’t celebrate VD either – what a waste! 35 years of marriage is good enough for me! Plus, I hate chocolate. And I’m serious.

  6. Helen February 12, 2009 at 10:09 am #

    >”A friendly bear counselor”, snort. Does that mean he counsels friendly bears? snort. (Did anyone else see the episode of Monk a couple of weeks ago where Bob Costas talks about a demented cat salesman. Yeah, the friendly bear counselor made me think of that. If you didn’t see it, it is still available On Demand.)
    I actually don’t mind that the bears exist, but I do mind the implication of cute bear = all you can…….you know.
    I like teddy bears. I have one that says “C’mon. I need a hug. Tighter……….tighter………..tighter……..tighter tootight! ooop……Just kidding hehehehe”

  7. Mrs.Naz@BecomingMe February 12, 2009 at 10:45 am #

    >Linda from A 2nd cup did a post on this too..>so funny and just wrong. Have you seen the commercial for Pajama Grams? If not, You Tube it…you'll thank me later…or not. 🙂

  8. katdish February 12, 2009 at 11:05 am #

    >I’m so not surprised that Sherri wants one of those bears!

    Helen – I’m with Steph. DID you put a little something extra in your coffee this morning?

    Mrs. Naz – I actually wrote a post about the pajamagram on another blog – The Fellowship of the Traveling Smartypants. I’m all over this stuff!

  9. Nick the Geek February 12, 2009 at 11:16 am #

    >Why you gotta be hatin’ on love?

    OK, so I”m not super into V-day either but mostly cuz I’m a guy and it is just one more day I’m expected to turn into some perfect thing that I do not have the time or money to pull off. My wife, who is a girly girl, is letting me off easy this year because she is so super awesome. She wants her nails done so tomorrow she is getting them done and we are having lunch at TGIFridays. I have a gift card from Christmas so … um yeah. I don’t know how I am getting away with this but its all her idea so yea me.

    On a side note our 10 year anniversary is this year and I don’t think I will get of so easy so time to start planning, only 4 months left.

    Word Verification: supedro
    Mexican Super Hero. I’d comment about this further but then people would get ma at me even if it was the funniest thing ever. The Texans can probably think of some funny stuff, they’re practically in Mexico.

  10. pete wilson February 12, 2009 at 11:17 am #

    >I needed a good laugh this morning. You’re always good for that!

  11. Nick the Geek February 12, 2009 at 12:10 pm #

    >ok I just watch the video and creepy doesn’t even begin to describe it.

  12. Lois February 12, 2009 at 1:31 pm #

    >Ewwww…if I were to be blessed with a bear like that, I’m afraid that I’d smile kindly, say “well, bless your heart” and then drop kick the thing across the room.

    a friend of mine and I refer to VD as “Forced Love Day”.

  13. Jeff February 12, 2009 at 4:07 pm #

    >Two things:

    1. Valentine’s Day, as Hallmark-y as it is, has nothing on “Sweetest Day.” Having spent some serious time in the Great Lakes region, I can promise you it exists. But if you need further proof, just check with Wikipedia. Whatever the real reason was for its inception, it is now just another excuse to try and guilt people into cards and candy.

    2.We typically use Valentine’s Day as an excuse to go out to eat and try to see a movie. However, we shamelessly use several holidays this way. For instance, this is also President’s Day weekend, so I’m confident that a restaurant is in our future.

  14. johnny box of donuts February 12, 2009 at 6:36 pm #

    >It only takes a couple of more keystrokes to type “V-Day” as opposed to “VD”. Just saying…

    Nick – supedro – that’s pretty stinkin’ hilarious. As to your comment about Texans, I prefer the term Canadians use: “Upper Mexicans”.

    Oh, this is kathy, btw. I just wanted to use the handle “johnny box of donuts” because Jeff used it today and it made me laugh.

  15. vanityofvanities February 12, 2009 at 6:39 pm #

    >Haha! I was just about to hate on you for stealing my post idea…and then I saw the link! 😉 You totally stole my picture, though!

  16. Bob February 12, 2009 at 7:25 pm #

    >Helen is totally wrong about the “friendly bear counselor” counseling friendly bears. Obviously he is himself a friendly bear who does counseling work. I love her, but she gets confused sometimes.

  17. Hugo the Friendly Counseling Bear February 12, 2009 at 7:29 pm #

    >Let me tell you about the time I counseled the demented cat salesman. One of the demented cats he sold had multiple personality disorder. AND ONE OF THE WAS A DOG! That poor man. I had to counsel his cats as well….

  18. Mittens, Fluffy, Spike, Bootsie February 12, 2009 at 10:27 pm #

    >Hugo thinks he’s all that, but he really isn’t that great of a counselor. He did nothing for us, or the salesman. And he forgot the word PERSONALITIES in his comment about me. At least he could behave himself in a professional manner!

  19. Christy February 13, 2009 at 9:22 am #

    >I laughed at the “talk to a bear consultant” (or was it “specialist” – I didn’t watch the commercial again). That made me chuckle. I also abhor this commercial and the pajama gram. My anniversary is on Feb. 14th, so obviously we celebrate. We don’t do the card exchange thing. I occasionally get roses and always a night out (sometimes it turns into a weekend away). Chocolate I would never turn down, I mean come on!

    wv: unbusum – flat chested woman

  20. BeckeyZ February 13, 2009 at 2:04 pm #

    >I told my husband that in lieu of a dozen roses (which would make me sneeze anyhow) I would be more than happy with a dozen donuts for Valentine’s day. Now let’s see if he comes through.

  21. Mare February 13, 2009 at 4:55 pm #

    >As a single person who tends to lean on the cynical side of such “romance,” vday is just slightly annoying to me. Doesn’t make me feel bad by any means but I’m not sure that whenever mr. man comes around I’ll be much different than you katdish! I’m always down with some chocolate or a nice meal…doesn’t have to be when the rest of the world is at the same restaurant.

    They sort of celebrate vday here. It’s called “lovers day” though. Rumors of mass orgys on the streets…haha hoping that’s not the case. Any PDA here is pretty forbidden so I’m not expecting anythign too crazy. Don’t worry; I’ll let you know.

  22. Krispy Kremes February 13, 2009 at 5:30 pm #

    >I really hate that Johnny Box of Donuts stole my thunder. Man I gotta go check out another blog….

  23. Matt @ The Church of No People February 13, 2009 at 6:42 pm #

    >In response to your comment – I’ve seen a couple of those movies – based on them, sounds like they are all movies I would enjoy *by myself* when I don’t have to look all holy in front of someone.

    (Updating Netflix queue now)

  24. katdish February 13, 2009 at 6:46 pm #

    >Hey Krisy Kremes,

    Check out this guy’s blog:

    http://koffihouse.blogspot.com/

    It’s fairly awesome.

  25. JML February 18, 2009 at 1:42 am #

    >I got to close on V-day. A co-worker and I went out to IHop, then vandalized another co-worker’s car (plastic wrap, bless GOD!) Anyways, I think that it’s a commercial holiday, maybe that attitude with change one day.

Trackbacks/Pingbacks:

  1. Real love | Katdish.net - February 14, 2014

    […] As some of you may already know, I’m not a big fan of Valentine’s Day. If you think that makes me unromantic, well…I don’t really care. I won’t give you my arguments against the holiday, as I think I’ve made my case against it here and here. […]

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