Still struggling to Let It Go…

Tim Edwards has completed rehab and is the guest of honor at a homecoming party given at a local church tonight. For those of you who are new to this blog, Tim is the star of a viral marketing campaign and brainchild of a father and son marketing team here in Houston called Pimp this Bum dot com Through much prayer and more than a little gnashing of teeth by yours truly, I have been able to get past my anger about this website (mostly). I am still really struggling with the whole “the ends justify the means” mentality. I don’t think anyone could convince me that what they did was right. Having said that, Tim has been given a second chance; generous donations have allowed him to get off the streets. Kevin and Sean Dolan (the father and son team) are not evil marketers bent only on making a buck at Tim’s expense, I just can’t condone their methods. Piled atop of this, is a knot in my stomach that has yet to unravel. Why the knot? Because I asked my friend and well known pastor Pete Wilson to write a post about it, which only gained the website more exposure. It still makes me feel icky. I received an invite to the party, but I am not going. There are some folks from my church who know Tim that will be there. There will be enough unfamiliar faces there without adding mine to the mix. What am I going to say to him? “Hi, I’m katdish. You know, the blogger that all the news blogs keep quoting? The one that hates the website that is responsible for you being here?” No thanks. I’ll just stay home with the kiddos tonight. I am so happy for Tim. I really am. But I’m still struggling…

I’ve been holding on so tight
Look at these knuckles
They’ve gone white
I’m fighting for who I wanna be
I’m just trying to find security

But You say let it go, You say let it go
You say life is waiting for the one’s who lose control
You say you will be, everything I need
You said if I lose my life it’s then I’ll find my soul
You say let it go.

Well it’s hard enough to hear
Harder still, to move beyond this fear
We know there’s nothing I can bring,
So tell me what do you want from me?

But You say let it go, You say let it go
You say life is waiting for the one’s who lose control
You say You will be, everything I need
You said if I lose my life it’s then I’ll find my soul
You say let it go, You say let it go

What do I love?
What do I hate?
What will I lose?
What will I gain?
How do I save my soul?
What if I bend?
What if I break?
What will it cost?
What will it take?
For you to save my soul.

You say let it go, You say let it go
You say life is waiting for the one’s who lose control
You say You will be, everything I need
You said if I lose my life it’s then I’ll find my soul

You say let it go, You say let it go
You say life is waiting for the one’s who lose control
You say you will be, everything I need
You said if I lose my life it’s then I’ll find my soul
You say let it go, You say let it go