The New Skymall’s Here! The New Skymall’s Here!

I know you’re time is valuable. If you read ONLY one of these, I would go with the Talking and Singing Elvis post. To quote the late Dudley Moore from the movie “Crazy People”, “It won’t just scare you, it will (bad word) you up for life!”

I think this post is fairly amusing, but probably not in the same league as the holiday guides. In my defense, I would just like to say that I wrote those posts during the holiday season, and nothing brings out my passive/aggressive sarcasm “A” game like spending quality time with extended family. Disclaimers aside, may I present Skymall: The Geeky Blogger Edition!:

The Revolutionary Portable Laptop Table:

“Our new revolutionary Portable Laptop Table is your key to comfortable computing at home or on the road. Perfect for business travelers, this gem is unique in its ability to properly position your laptop for reclined computing. Use in bed, on a sofa or a reclining chair. Fully adjustable to maximize comfort while in use, the laptop table helps to relieve neck and back pain, and allows for the correct placement of your arms for easy use of your computer. ($119.95)”

How many times do you think the word “revolutionary” is used in the Sky Mall Catalog? If I had a nickel for every time they used that word, I’d probably be able to afford some of that overpriced crap. Although, I must admit, having one of those would be pretty sweet. The only thing lacking is a Big Gulp cup holder on the side and a detachable bedpan. Then it would be slacktacular perfection! Alas, my heart belongs to Dave!

The Tech-Savvy Travel Mug:

On the road or at your desk, keep your beverage hot!
“Keep coffee or tea deliciously hot with this tech-savvy travel mug. In the car it plugs into a power port with the included 12 -volt adapter; at a computer it plugs into the USB port. Double-walled, stainless-steel construction, UL-approved heat control, spill-proof lid. A rubber cap seals the input jack for easy washing. Holds 16 oz. Available in Black, Red or Blue. ($19.99)”

Wouldn’t you just be the envy of all the folks in your favorite overpriced coffee shop with your very own tech-savvy travel mug that plugs directly into your laptop? And as an added bonus, they are available in colors to match your favorite official Star Trek officer uniform! (Win-win.)

The Mobile Edge Wi-Fi Signal Locator:

“The Mobile Edge WiFi Signal Locator (SL) is the smallest and most convenient way to check for hot spots without going through the tedious process of having to first boot-up your notebook and then search for a signal. By attaching the WiFi SL to your key chain or carrying case you will always be immediately aware of the presence of local hot spots! ($29.99)”

This futuristic looking item ALSO looks really cool with your favorite Star Trek officer uniform. (Win-win-win.)

The Laptop Necklace:

NEW! This portable desk makes your laptop truly mobile.
“When you have work to do, having no place to sit is no longer a problem. Now you can use your laptop standing or even walking with this portable desk. This clever invention adjusts to allow any size laptop to work on the go for any size person, short or tall. Anti-skid surface. Fits inside most computer bags. Made from 100% recycled plastic. 1 lb. 6 oz. ($39.99)”

Here’s one review from a VERY satisfied customer:

Pros: comfortable, flattering, conversation starter, never miss an important email
Cons: absolutely none

“Since I rarely find myself at home this Laptop Necklace has made my life so much easier. Now I can do all difficult the tasks, like email, paying bills, surfing the web, on the go. With the portable desk I can get work done from anywhere. It is possible to engage in activities such as golf, walking my dog, tanning, and even eating out in restaurants while using this fabulous device. I would highly recommend this to all executive, especially the homeless type.”

Ummm….yeah. (But I’m sure it looks good on you, Nick…)
(NOTE: Coat hanger and tin foil festooned helmet not included.)

The following item has nothing to do with computers or electronics. I just thought it was one of those “segue scooter” type products – sort of cool as long as you don’t have to actually see yourself use it:

The SkyRest Travel Pillow ($29.95)

Seriously, if you sit next to me on an airplane and pull this thing out of your carry-on luggage, I want you tell you this ahead of time because I don’t think I’ll be able to breath, let alone speak: “I’m sorry. I can’t help myself sometimes. I’m not laughing at you, I’m laughing beside you. That thing is ridiculous. Oh, and you’re drooling.)

Hope you liked this post. There’s many more where that came from. The Skymall Catalog: the gift of blog fodder that keeps on giving!