Archive - November, 2009

The Airing of the Grievances

I’ve always appreciated a writer’s job. They can take the obvious and make it new, can create entire new worlds, and can convey the deepest and darkest of human emotions. But it’s only been recently when I discovered they can also be a pain in the…well, you know.

But alas, it is my calling to help navigate the waters of social media. It is my cross to bear…

The best of me (or not) on the twitter:

RT @muchl8r: I just got man-whiched between a large boss and a big graphic artist at work. . . Where’s my HR Person?

RT @TonyCToday: RT @misstexan: Cigarette smoke, b.o., and cheap cologne- do I work in a bar? No. Just a high school.

RT @stretchmarkmama: I’m flossing before noon. I hate to be so transparent like that, but there it is.

@TonyCToday Well, as long as you’re emotionally shattered already, you should read my post today

@TonyCToday So do I! But does being able to punch one make it better. I’m thinking yes.

Shudder…

Remember these?: http://bit.ly/310qXy

@billycoffey Well of course you’ve taught me something: how to deal with crazy writer people.

“There’s no doubt that Jesus’ action created one king-sized moment of awkward silence.” – Jeff Hogan, C3 http://bit.ly/jzleI

And since Michelle broke spades with her comment, then YES, that’s exactly what that tree looks like:

@billycoffey Buh, bye…

@billycoffey You’re right. I am very thankful that I can remove people from my friends column whenever they make me mad. (in reply to @katdish Quit griping and be thankful.)

@billycoffey Meh? Now what kind of attitude is that. This is your best life NOW!

@billycoffey Turn that frown upside down Mr. Coffey! (in reply to @katdish A cloudy, cold day that promises rain. That’s what’s up.)

RT @prodigaljohn: SCL crew raised $950 to match donations to Vietnam today. Give $1, we’ll match it. $20? Matched

I heart direct messaging…(in reply to a DM sent to @HelenatRandom – I crack myself up.)

@Helenatrandom Oh, I’m in…

@billycoffey Whatever helps you sleep at night, Billy. (in reply to @katdish Well, I’m a redneck. Rednecks are tougher than samurai ninjas.)

@billycoffey That too… (in reply to @katdish Thought you were a samurai.)

@billycoffey Of course not. I’m a ninja. (in reply to @katdish Ah, morning katdish! I didn’t see you lurking.)

@billycoffey Well bah humbug to you too!

Follow @PeterPollock . Okay? Good

RT @prodigaljohn: Play matchmaker? @katdish will $1 for evry $5 the Acuffs match tom for $500 for Vietnam. You in? 25cent match means $25

RT @prodigaljohn: I’ve got 5 on it. Tomorrow, Acuff family is matching the 1st 100 $5 donations for 2nd kindgrten http://tinyurl.com/yaye6aa

@llbarkat We’re devising a clever marketing plan for your book. You’re welcome. (in reply to Are you guys talking behind my Twitter? @katdish @gyoung9751 🙂

@gyoung9751 Have you ever bought a book based on its cover? I know they say you can’t judge one by it, but I think people still do

@gyoung9751 And my answer is, Number 2

@gyoung9751 Not to sound like a complete sell out, but I ask myself, “Which cover would people gravitate towards at a bookstore?”

@llbarkat So let me ask you, what are you trying to convey with the cover art? What mood do you want to set?

@BridgetChumbley No. I’m the boss. (in reply to @katdish Well, you are the boss… or wait, is that @billycoffey? I get so confused!)

@BridgetChumbley Well I mind! Slacker… (in reply to @billycoffey Of course not. You can add that link whenever you are ready & able. How are you feeling?)

How early is too early for grocery store sushi? I got a hankerin

RT @muchl8r: MMMM-Bop! //What???? Hanson? Really? Has hell frozen over?

Hey! You know what? I think I’m pretty smart. I really don’t want to take your DM IQ test. Thanks anyway Spammy McSpammer!

@muchl8r Will there be thinly veiled threats of violence? (Say yes)

@HerbieGookins I’ve missed your long, seemingly unrelated to content comments on my blog.

@HeatherSunseri Okay, sorry. That was kinda gross…

@HeatherSunseri That’s what the Imodium said too… (in reply to @billycoffey @katdish You guys are so cute. This too shall pass. That’s what my mama always says.)

@HeatherSunseri I didn’t quit. He’s just being disagreeable. (in reply to @billycoffey By the way, before I reject or accept the job, what did you do to make @katdish quit?)

@billycoffey Oh, shut up… (in reply to @katdish Funny, mine’s doing the same thing.)

@billycoffey Oh, wow. You should see my DM column filling up right now… (in reply to @katdish YOU CAN’T QUIT ME!)

Hey! Any writers out there looking to be made a household name? I may be available soon.

RT @billycoffey: @sarahmsalter Is that what @katdish does? Look out for me?

@sarahmsalter It’s darned near a full time job. (in reply to @katdish I understand. You’re looking out for @billycoffey’s best interests. :o)

@sarahmsalter I’m not the boss of him. I just strongly suggest things

@redclaydiaries Perhaps you just needed a good blood letting.

#FF @br8kthru Because he rocks the sweater vest.

@RachelleGardner So the query delivered by the singing gorilla telegram was not impressive? Dang… (in reply to Writers: Pretty much anything you do to get our attn in your query, besides a terrific blurb, is wasted effort. #pubtip)

@DaleChumbley Aw, Dale. No one should ever get credit for your stupidity but you.

@redclaydiaries How did I miss the waffle ho conversation? Stupid non virtual life…

And of course…Sorry/you’re welcome!

It’s the most wonderful time of the year…already

Oh, I know, I know…it’s not even Thanksgiving yet and I’m already doing a Christmas post.

Editor’s note: For those reading this outside the USA, Thanksgiving is an American holiday where we celebrate white guys in funny hats and knickers bringing disease and pestilence to the New World and stealing the land from the Native Americans. Some of us were raised to believe that this holiday was about being grateful to God for our blessings, but we stand corrected.

I also realize that there are some of you who will read this from atop your high horse because you’re already finished with your Christmas shopping and will spend Black Friday sipping eggnog and stringing lights from your eaves. You people are annoying…

But for the rest of you slackers, I thought I’d give you a heads up in what seems to be the hottest trend in holiday decor at places that buy stuff the major retailers couldn’t sell. It seems that since many retailers start putting up Christmas decorations before Halloween, someone got the crazy idea to combine the two holidays:

Scary Christmas!

For today’s post, I will focus on decorations (even though I got some great gift ideas before I was given the stink eye by the store manager and thought it best to leave the store with my camera phone in hand.)

Question: What do you get when you cross Jolly Old St. Nick and the Bride of Chuckie?

Answer: This


That poor deer is a goner for sure!

But wait…there’s more! Maniacal Mice!

and Sluggo the Snowman (“You talking to me?”)

But it’s not ALL evil, some of it is just…well…

What is this? Seriously…I know it’s supposed to be a Christmas tree, but who makes something like this, stands back and says, “This is really good. Let’s make a million of them.”? #FAIL

On a brighter note, I did find a lovely “Holiday tree skirt”. But just between you and me, I’m going to need to let it out in the waist a bit. Must be all the Halloween candy…

Shoe Polish, a Velvet Cape and Mile High Hair (by Glynn Young)

Today’s guest post comes from Glynn Young of Faith, Fiction, Friends:

Glynn is a public affairs writer and the team lead for online strategy for a Fortune 500 company based in St. Louis. He and his wife Janet have two grown sons, one-daughter-in-law, one grandchild-to-be and a great dog. He bikes, reads a lot and has a bad tendency to cry at movies, particularly sappy ones. Glynn was born and raised in New Orleans, and received a B.A. in journalism from LSU and a Masters of Liberal Arts from Washington University in St. Louis.

That’s Glynn’s “official bio”. I would also like to add that he is a source of encouragement to so many of us here in the blogosphere and on twitter, and I appreciate him very much.

Now here’s Glynn on his adventures in Beaumont, Texas:

Before I graduated from college, I’d been to Texas three times: a family vacation to see Six Flags in Dallas/Ft. Worth; a journalism conference at the University of Texas in Austin; and my interview for a copy editor position at the Beaumont Enterprise. I got the job, graduated from LSU, and drove the next day to Beaumont.

I was not prepared for Texas, Beaumont or working for a newspaper, despite my two years of experience with LSU’s Daily Reveille. But I learned things, and quickly, through the people I met and worked with. It took a while for me to figure out that not everyone in Texas was, well, odd.

Receptionists are important; treat them well. The receptionist’s desk was the first you passed coming into the newsroom. And if you thought she wasn’t important, you learned right away how wrong you were. In this case, she was from southwestern Louisiana and had a Cajun accent. She was in her 40s, and dressed like she was in her teens – tight mini-skirt and white go-go boots, every day. And jet-black hair teased up approximately two feet. You always said hello. You never made a comment about how she was dressed or her hair. If you did, you faced a verbal shredding and general career demise (she was also the managing editor’s secretary).

Don’t use black shoe polish to dye your hair, especially when it rains. One of the reporters, of indeterminate age but likely in his 50s or early 60s, used black shoe polish for hair dye, or something that smelled like it. One day, he strolled calmly into the news room, having escaped a downpour outside. He was drenched. And his face, neck and jacket were stained orange. No one could say anything; we were all dumbstruck, until we realized that the polish or dye or whatever it was had run with the rain.

Be extraordinarily polite when you get insulted. The lady who did the religion page was a sweetheart, as nice and polite as she could be, except when anyone attempted to swipe a piece of her religious page turf. Then she was a pit bull. One day, I was walking my dog, and we meandered under Interstate 10 and into a really nice neighborhood. It wasn’t that my own neighborhood wasn’t nice; in fact, I referred to it as the posh Northway-Gaylynn luxury apartments. It was affordable on my $125-a-week salary, which meant I didn’t want my mother to see it. As my dog and I turned a corner, who did I run into but Religion Page Lady. We chatted briefly, and then she lowered her voice. “Be careful,” she said. “Those slums across the interstate – there are bad people who live there. Gangs. Drugs. Everything.” I never looked at my apartment in quite the same way again.

People can be nice and work well, no matter how they dress. My first day on the job, I met all of the people on the copy desk. Everyone seemed nice, but I was taken aback by the obituary writer. He had an Ivanhoe haircut. He always wore a flowing black velvet cape, regardless of the weather. And he had a matching black velvet choker. He was quiet, almost introverted, but he did a good job with obituaries and memorials. And a newspaper was willing to ignore odd clothes if someone could write a good obituary – the most read part of the newspaper in Beaumont. After a while, I got used to it, and totally freaked one day when he wore normal clothes. No one asked why, and he didn’t say. But we were shocked.

Be flexible. One Sunday night, the only staff on the desk was the slot man, me and an intern. We had three editions of the newspaper to put out – East Texas, Louisiana and Home, with deadlines about an hour apart. So you didn’t fool around. Except this Sunday night, the slot man gave us a job to do, one of the most difficult I ever faced at the newspaper: find a bar that was open. Now, this was Texas in the 1970s. An open bar on a Sunday night simply didn’t exist. But for two hours, the intern and I called every bar in the Beaumont-Port Arthur-Orange area. I finally found one, in a really rotten area. It didn’t matter. He was out of the door in a flash, saying he’d be back. The first deadline was an hour away. The intern and I looked at each other and got to work. The slot man didn’t come back. We put out all three editions of the paper that night. (Quiz: guess how many reporters wrote stories on Sunday? Answer: None = desperate copy editor and intern.)

Advancement can be rapid, often because you’re the last person standing. For some odd reason, staff turnover was rapid that summer, as in, people left. In droves. By the end of the summer, I was No. 2 on the desk. And because No. 1 was usually off seeking liquid refreshment, especially after the executives left for the day, I was de facto No. 1. I was not quite 22. It was way too much responsibility for such a little salary.

Work is both mundane and sublime, sometimes on the same day. Two headlines I recall writing: “B. Dalton’s opens in Parkdale Mall” (front page); “Agnew Resigns” (front page).

It was the era of Woodward and Bernstein toppling presidents, and Mideast nations imposing oil embargoes. But those things were transient. What lasted were lessons about shoe polish, velvet capes, mile-high hair and bars open on Sunday nights.

It was wonderful.

***

To read more from Glynn Young, visit him at Faith, Fiction, Friends and follow him on the twitter at @gyoung9751.

Community


If you’ve been reading this blog for awhile, you may know that the blog Stuff Christians Like is what inspired me to start my own blog. I love the sense of community that Jon has created on his site. Take a look at my sidebar. Every blog listed there and many more that aren’t are folks I’ve found either directly or indirectly from the comments section of Stuff Christians Like. He truly is the Kevin Bacon of the blogosphere.

Last Monday, Jon asked the question What if?:

“If only you had a platform with hundreds of thousands of friends from around the world that could easily organize and radically change the world through the power of something like a blog. If only…

Right now, right here, you and me and the Stuff Christians Like community have the chance to be much bigger than a blog. I am growing overwhelmed but the sense that God has given us all a tremendous gift called, “being alive on Monday” and He’s holding His breath in eager anticipation to see what we’ll do next.

And what’s next for Stuff Christians Like is that we’re going to build a kindergarten in Vietnam. (No segue whatsoever; we just jumped into that, didn’t we?)”

That’s when something amazing happened…Stuff Christians Like raised $30,000 in 18 hours and funded the building of a kindergarten in Vietnam.

And now the community of Stuff Christians Like would like to build a second kindergarten.

This is not the post I had originally scheduled for Bridget’s blog carnival topic of “Community”. But last night I saw the following from Jon Acuff on twitter:

@prodigaljohn: I’ve got 5 on it. Tomorrow, Acuff family is matching the 1st 100 $5 donations for 2nd kindgrten http://tinyurl.com/yaye6aa

And I thought, “How cool is that?” So I sent Jon the following direct messages:

prodigaljohn: I’ll match the next 50.

prodigaljohn: I mean the next 20 ($50)

prodigaljohn: Okay…I suck at math. I’ll match 20 (that’s $100 right?) Sigh…

We send a couple DMs back and forth and then Jon tweets this:

Want to play matchmaker? @katdish is matching $1 for every $5 the Acuffs match tomorrow for $500 for Vietnam. You in? 25cent match means $25

So…are you in? Click on the link and get the rest of the scoop from Jon.

This too shall pass (by Billy Coffey)

A few minutes ago a bit of the last forkful of my son’s green beans failed to be broken down into acids and molecules and slipped undigested into his large intestine. There the billions of hungry bacteria sat down to a dinner of their own, finishing the job and sending them off into his bloodstream.

The process resulted in a mixture of methane, hydrogen, and sulfide that was forced downward as pressure and expelled. Right onto the couch cushion beside me. With a rapid and not-so-elegant

squeak!

I didn’t move my eyes from the book I was reading, didn’t even acknowledge it had happened. And to my son’s credit, he didn’t either. Not at first. He kept right on attacking the buttons on his Nintendo DS, and I let him.

Squeak!

I turned the page and without looking said, “Whatcha say, Bud?”

“Scuse me,” he answered.

I nodded and kept reading, thinking the moment had passed. Which it had, technically speaking. But the aftereffects had not, because then another sound escaped from his other end in the form of a muffled snort.

“What’s so funny?” I asked.

“Nothin.”

“Okay.”

Squeak!

I waited an appropriate amount of time—about three paragraphs of my novel—for the required Scuse me, but none came. There was, however, another snort.

And then, Squeak/Snort!

“…Bud…”

“Scuse me (snort!).”

I sighed and resumed reading. In a span of a few short minutes both noises from both places quieted. I offered myself a satisfied nod. It was a victory. Not a decisive one maybe, but complete enough.

I’m unsure at what point this certain bodily function became the holy grail of hilarity to him, but it did. Nothing in the world makes my son laugh as hard as either hearing it, smelling it, or—most of all—doing it.

He knows all the synonyms—gas, vapors, stinker, breaking wind, cutting the cheese, and the ever popular toot. He peppers them into his speech and has entire conversations about them with his friends. I suspect he even eats certain amounts of certain foods just to perform his own unique standup routine later on. Smellivision, I call it. The finale always seems reserved for the bathtub.

Raising a son is hard. Trying to explain why these antics aren’t what a young man should aspire to is harder.

So I sat him down. Said it’s a normal thing that everyone does, but not the sort of thing people should really be talking about a lot. And really not the sort of thing people should devote elaborate performances to. He nodded and yessir’d me and promised to be better.

And he was. Until bath time. His performance that night was somehow even more spectacular than usual.

Another talk. More parental wisdom. He said at the end, “But everybody does it.”

“But everybody should try not to make a big deal out of it,” I answered.

“I bet Jesus tooted.”

“I bet He did, too. I also bet he said ‘Excuse me’ after and then kept right on healing people and stuff instead of laughing and telling everyone how bad it smelled.”

“Yeah,” he said. “He was really good at that.”

Training a child is not unlike training a dog. It’s a long process that requires a lot of patience and a lot of effort. It’s reward and punishment, a firm hand and a loving one. And it’s also a practice best done knowing that while our children will slip from time to time, we do the very same thing.

Thankfully, he’s gotten better with this. Much better. The normal bodily functions are still functioning, but they’re being done so under the polite cover of modesty and discretion. Even in those times when nature plays its cruel hand and delivers multiple ones right after another—as just happened—he’s bent but not buckled. I’m proud of him. I really am.

Just now he handed me a sheet of paper between games on his DS, courtesy of his teacher. The class would be going on their first ever excursion in a week. To the fire department, no less. I scribbled my name at the bottom, giving my permission for him to attend.

“You’ll have fun,” I told him. “Did your teacher tell you what it’s called when you leave school and go somewhere?”

“Yep,” he said. “It’s a fart trip.”

Pray for me.

***

To read more from Billy Coffey, visit him at at his website and follow him on the twitter at @billycoffey.

A Francis Chan Two-for

I love what Francis Chan has to say — I really do, even if it gets me a little ouchy sometimes. The truth hurts, don’t it?

Another Rob Bell post – Cue the hate mail (Repost)


Whether you think Rob Bell is the greatest Christian visionary since C. S. Lewis, think he is a dangerous heretic leading countless followers astray, have an opinion of him that falls somewhere decidedly between the two, or even if you’ve never heard of Rob Bell and think Nooma sounds like a chocolatey delicious carbonated beverage, please view the following parody in the spirit in which it is intended (from me, anyway). I have seen only a few Nooma videos, but one in particular I found quite moving and thought provoking. (This is not that video.) I make the previous statements in an attempt to convey that I am not anti-Rob Bell. It’s just that I find some of his mannerisms and the cadence of his speech sometimes amusing, and to point out that parody is considered by many to be a high form of praise.

While I posted this video primarily because I think it’s funny, previous comments to me about Rob Bell and other highly visible Christians also lead me to this observation: It seems to me that society in general and some Christians in particular have become increasingly polarized and intolerant of opposing viewpoints. There are those in the hard core evangelical camp that would suggest that Rob Bell and other proponents of spreading the gospel through social justice are presenting an incomplete view of the gospel at best, and at worst are spreading heresy and leading unsuspecting followers to eternal damnation. At the other end of the spectrum, some in the emergent church movement might say that evangelical Christians ignore the plight of the marginalized in society and feel that it’s perfectly acceptable to allow a man to be physically hungry as long as his soul is fed. To this point, I would offer the opinion that to some extent, both sides are right, and both sides are wrong. For a more in-depth, intellectual and insightful take on this subject, I would highly recommend The God Who Smokes: Scandalous Meditations on Faith, by Timothy J. Stoner, and The Reason for God by Timothy Keller, both of whom are WAY smarter and biblically astute on their worst day than I am on my best.

In closing, I would like to thank fellow blogger Laz for posting this video on his blog months before I posted it here, and to gently suggest that any angry Rob Bell fans voice their opposition to airing of this video here .

Seeing the forest for the trees

“You can’t see the forest for the trees.” We’ve all heard that expression, right? It means you get so caught up in the little picture that you fail to see the big picture. I sort of had a “seeing the forest” moment while going through my tweets from this week. It occured to me that I might come off as a tad blunt and maybe a bit direct. Has this revelation caused me to pause and reflect on whether my tweets might be taken the wrong way?

Heck no. I just wanted you to know that I know that about myself. Besides, I think you should say what you mean and mean what you say. Life is much less complicated that way…

Without further adieu, the best of me (or not) on the twitter:

@br8kthru You know, if you wanted to. I would never tell anyone what to do.

@br8kthru You need to switch to tweetdeck.

@br8kthru You need to make some calls…

@PeterPollock Thank you, Peter. You shall remain in my good graces for the rest of the day.

@PeterPollock Okay, maybe I am. But still…

@PeterPollock I’m not tweeting this stuff for my own personal enjoyment you know.

@PeterPollock Would you please tell @br8kthru that he needs to fix his PeopleBrowser so he can see my tweets?

But I’ll settle of one out of three…

Peace on earth, goodwill towards men, and a Kindle.

What does @katdish want for Christmas?

@br8kthru You’re welcome, also Jason. Am I still not showing up?

Welcome @TAnneAdams to the twitter. Now kindly change your avatar. That bird freaks me out.

RT @tremendousnews: “I met my boyfriend on Twitter. God. I wish I could go back to the days where he was limited to 140 chars”

RT @tim_____: My friend’s GPS just called me a beeotch. All I did was pull out my iPhone.

@Helenatrandom Read you comment & was like, “What’s a polish blessing? Wait! Polish blessing.” Gotcha

Check out this article from Times Online http://bit.ly/3cCojr (Also check out how subtle I am in the comments section.)

@redclaydiaries Collecting baskets is a stretch. Why do you need to collect baskets? To keep crap in, that’s why.

@sarahmsalter No! Books are useful. They enrich your life.

@CandySteele Crap to hold crap. You’ve just made my point.

And no, @candysteele that basket is NOT for sale and you don’t need one anyway.

RT @redclaydiaries: @katdish But we wants it. //Yesh…

@HeatherSunseri “Kill your precious” is how I’ve heard it.

@billycoffey You have a non-vomit streak? Oh, do tell…

@billycoffey No, really. It’s horrible while it’s happening, but you’ll feel much better afterwards

@billycoffey You should throw up.

@HeatherSunseri Anything can be said in 140 characters or less.

@HeatherSunseri What’s it about?

RT @noveldoctor: Writing a novel is like running a marathon – there’s a good chance you’ll throw up before reaching the finish line

If you intend to write as truthfully as you can, your days as a member of polite society are numbered. – Stephen King

RT @marklamberti: I just unsubscribed from my blog. I’ve had enough of myself for now.

“Imitation is the sincerest form of television” – Fred Allen

RT @billycoffey: “Fiction is the truth inside the lie.” ~ Stephen King //Also known as “Faction

@redclaydiaries That was so cleverly shameless…

@sarahmsalter Yes. Sometimes gratuitous violence does wonders .

@BridgetChumbley Really, Bridget – it matters not.

@redclaydiaries Well I don’t buy baskets or candles. I’m anti-crap.

@dsanson I’ll let you know as soon as the statute of limitations is over.

@pagan43 And for the love of Gumby, please don’t tell me it’s an investment

@pagan43 So why are they so expensive? And why do you NEED an expensive basket?

@redclaydiaries The puzzles pieces are all coming together, aren’t they?

@makeadiff21 She says the hair keeps the pins sharp. But she made it like 30 years ago! Gaaa!

@redclaydiaries Hand to God – My mom has a pincushion stuffed with HUMAN HAIR!

I’m considering writing about stuff people collect and why. Any Logenbauer (sp?) collecters out there? And if so, why?

This just in: I have coupons following me on the twitter. They like me. They really, really like me…

@redclaydiaries My next house will have 4 dishwashers and no cabinets.

Does this make anyone want to eat chicken? Me neither. Thank you, Kroger.

@redclaydiaries Oooo! Skymall

@mabeswife I’d hang on to the savings bonds if I were you…

@mabeswife But of course! I’ll send you an author’s edition.

RT @mabeswife: @katdish YESH! //See? One book sold already. Bring on the offers.

Me thinks…yes

I’ve been quoted on twitter like 5 or 6 times. Could a book offer be far behind?

@pagan43 Yes, but that would require me to open a can and heat it up. It’s more than I’m willing to do.

@br8kthru Food is overrated. I think I’ll have a low carb monster and some whoppers

I really need to eat something

@BridgetChumbley Good. But I’m hungry. I just don’t feel like making lunch. Devastating laziness has its drawbacks

@PuriChristos Oh, see…you didn’t say when MAKING candles. I thought you were just going to be a Beavis and burn stuff

@PuriChristos Why are you asking about adding nutmeg to a candle? That’s weird.

@PuriChristos You’re so weird…

@joannamuses Liger flu….Yesh!

RT @redclaydiaries: @sarahmsalter I decline to answer that on the grounds that it might show me to be hopelessly lazy

@redclaydiaries I thought laundry was your arch nemesis. Can you have more than one?

RT @weightwhat: @katdish I heart Captain Underpants!!! //Somehow I knew that.

Hmmm….@br8kthru seems to be ignoring me.

@redclaydiaries nah. She wear her granny panties with pride

@redclaydiaries of course they’re not mine. They’re @candysteele’s.

@redclaydiaries Just for you:

I’m writing a book. I’ve got the page numbers done. – Steven Wright

RT @BridgetChumbley: @katdish I’ve realized I need to humiliate my cats more often… my kids will appreciate the break! // ha!

I know. Subtle aren’t I?

Speaking of great books. Can’t wait for this one to come out (Fall 2010): http://bit.ly/23g1Kw

@BridgetChumbley Poor Buddy? He’s a dog. Furthermore, he’s MY dog. Not exactly a win-win situation.

@billycoffey whateva

RT @billycoffey: Okay, @katdish is kicking me off Twitter. I’ll be back later when she isn’t here…//Um hmm…thought so.

What the….@billycoffey ! GET OFF THE TWITTER and go back to resting before I come up there & smash your laptop with a hammer!

Once again, Sorry/you’re welcome.

Pardon me while I rant incessantly…

Ah, yes…

It’s been too long since I complained about something at any great length (on this blog).

Now I’m guessing that the following rant may step on some toes, but I gotta be me. And today me is wanting to rant incessantly about all the unnecessary crap that fill our homes.

This could be a post about stuff that needs to be thrown away or taken to your favorite local charity, but if I did that the guilt would overwhelm me and I would be loading up the back of my Jeep with old clothes and toys instead of enriching all of your lives with my own personal opinion. Sorry/you’re welcome.

So instead, I’m going to talk about collecting things.

If you collect something or have several collections of things, why do you collect what you collect? And at what point does your collection become (dare I say it), an obsession? Because while this is cute:

This is, um…a bit much:

Here’s my thinking: If you own ten (okay, I’ll be generous and say 20) of anything that needs to be dusted on a regular basis that serves no other purpose than taking up space, then I think maybe you may be a wee bit obsessed. If you purchase a large cabinet for the express purpose of displaying a bunch of figurines that are essentially indistinguishable from 10 feet away (especially if they’re in a big honkin’ cabinet), I think your collection is complete. It was probably complete about 50 figurines ago. But that’s just me.

I know this may come off as harsh, but when I think about how much many of us spend on “collectibles”, it just sort of irks me. We’re wasting money on treasures that will fill our homes but not our hearts, leaving us both fat and empty at the same time. We all need Stuff. We all just need to make sure it’s the Good Stuff — spending time with friends and family, getting lost in a really good book, longs walks on the beach — whatever the Good Stuff is to you. Besides, we’re supposed to store up our treasures in heaven, are we not?

And for the love of all things good and holy, please don’t tell me that the money you’re spending is an investment, because handmade or not, IT’S A FREAKING BASKET!


A $184 basket. Which incidentally, is full of crap.

The Beauty of the Trail (by Annie K)

Today’s guest post was written by my friend Annie K, who can write AND take amazing photographs. I happen to think she’s combined both talents here beautifully. Enjoy.

I grew up surrounded by the forest, mountains, lakes and a river that flows through the town I call home. I always loved spending time out in the wilderness and the older I get the more I feel drawn to the winding trails and the solitude of what I consider one of the most peaceful places I know.

This time of year there are very few people on the trail and the stillness that surrounds me is incredibly comforting. The only sounds I hear are the faint jingle of Boz’s collar, the occasional chattering of a squirrel that was most likely disturbed by said dog, the wind rustling through the trees and the sound of my footsteps as I make my way along the trail that is covered with fallen pine needles and Aspen leaves.

The leaves from the Aspens fall all around me as if they are being dropped from the heavens, and for a few hours, I watch the lazy river flow by, breathe in the crisp air and enjoy the colors of fall as if they were put there especially for me.

Yesterday, I made my way around one corner of the trail and I saw a flash of incredible color that went from red to orange, to gold and green. As I inspected it more closely, I realized that it was a part of an aspen tree that was in full fall color and had fallen. Recently.

Curiosity got the better of me and so I made my way down the steep rocky slope to get a better view. The moment I laid eyes on the base of the tree a smile crept over my face and two words escaped my lips as I looked down at Boz. “Dang beaver.”

It’s a shame to see this aspen lying on the ground, knowing that it is the last time it’s going to produce such beauty, and all because some beaver thinks he’s going to dam the Deschutes. But that is nature and I would never have enjoyed being so close to these brilliant colors had the tree still been standing.

I could walk this trail a hundred times an see it a thousand different ways. All because God instilled in me a passion for the outdoors.

As I walked and drank in the surroundings I thought about how this trail is a lot like my life. There are uphills and downhills, mountains and valleys, calm waters and rapids, twist and turns, rocky paths and clear paths, dark places and places full of light. I see the trail in black and white and astounding color. I can think I’ve got it all figured out, turn a corner and see the trail from a different angle and realize I’m seeing something I didn’t notice before. I can find beauty in all of it because I know that God was the creator of this incredible place and He gave me a passion, a deep desire to be out on this trail enjoying his creation.

And that is how I should see my life. No matter what mountain I’m on or valley I’m in, or how dark the day may be, or what twists and turns I’m facing I should be able to see the beauty in the trail God is leading me down because that is the plan He has for my life. I should walk down the path with my eyes wide open, so as not to miss what it is I have to see while embracing life in color and the contrast of black and white. The rocky path needs to be faced with a spirit of determination and the dark places maneuvered by His light on the path.

I believe we find incredible beauty in whatever we are passionate about. Our lives, no matter what the situation should be lived with the same passion for fear we’ll miss what’s around the next turn in the trail.


To read more from Annie, visit her at Buzz by Annie’s, her photography blog, Annie’s Daily Picture, and follow her on the twitter at @buzzbyannies.

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