5 Ways Sky Mall takes your Entertaining from Everyday to Epic (by Becky Miller)

I’ve said this before, but I’ll say it again. Jon Acuff of Stuff Christians Like was the inspiration for me to start blogging in the first place. (You may send him angry e-mails at jon@stuffchristianslike.net). If Jon’s blog was just about the writing, I’d still be a huge fan, but it’s so much more than that. It’s about community. The comments section of SCL is that community, and it is awesome. One of the charter members of what I refer to as the “SCL Posse” is Becky Miller, who is also awesome:

I met Katdish on Stuff Christians Like. Then we became Twitter friends when I decided to cyber-stalk the frequent SCL commenters, figuring that if we all liked Jon’s sense of humor and perspective on faith, we’d have a lot in common.

Kathy generously invited me to guest post here to introduce my new blog, How-To Hospitality. I’m a wife and mother in New England who entertains a LOT. I’m also clumsy and easily sidetracked. This means I’ve had more than my fair share of hospitality foibles. I started How-To Hospitality to tell on myself and my hospitality fails and wins, hoping to help others in the process.

In keeping with Hey Look, A Chicken!’s skymalladocious posts, I present:

Five Ways Sky Mall Takes Your Entertaining from Everyday to Epic

Let’s face it. The people who shop at Sky Mall are better than us. They make more money. They live in bigger houses. They have cooler gadgets. It stands to reason, then, that their parties are better than ours. What are some of your parties’ problems, and how can Sky Mall meet those needs?

1. Problem: Store-bought soda is boring and predictable
Solution: Soda Maker Kits! $129.99

Make your own fresh soda with this machine. Not only will this take your beverage selection up a notch, the product description actually promises to save the planet.

2. Problem: Your fruit bowl is not tropical enough
Solution: Palms Fruit Hammock! $29.99

Your mangoes and coconuts should feel at home in an island-like environment. This product not only keeps your fruit fresher longer, it also adds that extra touch of authenticity to your luau theme. The only problem I foresee is having guests constantly ask, “What’s up with your banana hammock?”

3. Problem: You aren’t strong enough to scoop your own ice cream
Solution: Microwaveable Ice Cream Scoop! $4.97

My mom once told me about a girl she knew in high school who had a normal left forearm and a ginormous right forearm. The girl’s summer job? Working at an ice cream stand. Don’t let that happen to you. Buy this scoop today.

4. Problem: You broke your punch bowl by filling it with salad, putting it in the fridge, then later fishing for mustard on the back part of the shelf, inadvertently knocking the punch bowl out and shattering it on the floor.*
Solution: Lighted Party Fountain! $49.99

*Er, wait, maybe that was only me. You might not need this punch fountain after all.

5. Problem: Your guests don’t want to hold their own root beer cans
Solution: Tex the Armadillo Can Holder! $29.95 (each)

Supply each of your guests with one of these darling figurines to hold their beverages. Don’t forget homemade wine glass tags for each ‘dillo. Martha Stewart has some lovely ideas for making your own wine glass tags.

But that’s another post. Martha Stewart’s parties are better than ours, too.

***

To read more from Becky Miller, visit her at How-To Hospitality and follow her on the twitter at @miller_schloss.

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14 Responses to “5 Ways Sky Mall takes your Entertaining from Everyday to Epic (by Becky Miller)”

  1. miller_schloss April 27, 2010 at 9:53 pm #

    Okay, I feel really narcissistic, but I have to admit that the banana hammock line is still making me snicker to myself.

  2. Shark Bait April 28, 2010 at 4:09 am #

    "the banana hammock line is still making me snicker to myself."

    TWSS

  3. ~*Michelle*~ April 28, 2010 at 4:15 am #

    That armadillo can holder is ALMOST as hideous as the Jesus Chair. I'd have to put it in my Top Five "what the… !?!??!?" List

  4. M.L. Gallagher April 28, 2010 at 5:22 am #

    Gosh — I never knew what I was missing — or how my dinner parties were deficient until I discovered your SkyMall finds!

    Oh my — gotta get me my own amardillo — though it might feel a little out of place in this here Beef country — Alberta beef that is. maybe sky mall has a Bull holder? Or a cow pattie fruit hammock?

    This is priceless! Thanks for the morning laugh.

  5. ♥ Kathy April 28, 2010 at 5:50 am #

    the fruit hammock is awesomeness and the banana hammock line about wiped me out laughing 🙂

  6. Steph @Red Clay Diaries April 28, 2010 at 6:20 am #

    What's up with your banana hammock?

    SNORT. My favorite line too.

    Also, I worked for a YEAR at an ice cream place. Besides being perpetually stained and sticky from fingertip to elbow, my forearms WERE in fact GINORMOUS. Those SkyMall people should use me as a spokesperson.

  7. Maureen April 28, 2010 at 6:48 am #

    Tex the Armadillo wins, hands down. I'm polite, so I won't name the award it gets. That fountain gets the second prize.

    Who buys this stuff?!

  8. jasonS April 28, 2010 at 8:02 am #

    Very nicely done! I'll come follow you on twitter (not in a creepy, stalker-y way though) 🙂

    And looking at that picture I immediately thought "banana hammock" then I thought of the episode of Friends where Phoebe was going to change her name to Princess Consuela Bananahammock (she didn't know what it was until the end). 🙂

  9. katdish April 28, 2010 at 12:28 pm #

    Just so you know, you can find that armadillo drink holder at any local Tacky Texas Crap gift store. They're everywhere down here.

    Thanks again, Becky. Great post!

  10. Wendy April 28, 2010 at 5:21 pm #

    What I want to know is, how did she know about my punch bowl incident?

  11. Billy Coffey April 28, 2010 at 6:39 pm #

    Dang it, I just bought a case of Coke cans. How can I drink them without my Tex the Armadillo Can Holder? Because that was totally AWESOME. I wish I were kidding.

  12. Helen April 28, 2010 at 8:28 pm #

    Okay, I really like those punch fountains.
    But I won't buy one.
    If I had one of those, I would watch it flow in all its pink glory day and night and would be neglecting the twitter.

  13. miller_schloss April 29, 2010 at 6:03 pm #

    @Steph – thank you for verifying the ice cream employee rumors!

    @Jason – "banana hammock" makes me think of Scrubs: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7yR5Hf90toQ

    @Wendy – REALLY? Do share your punch bowl story…

  14. Cassandra Frear May 11, 2010 at 6:44 pm #

    I want a punch bowl like that. How awesome.

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