Backyard Oasis courtesy of the Sky Mall, Part 3


If you’ve been following along at home, I’ve been trying to decide on a new yardscape as a housewarming gift for all my new neighbors courtesy of a development company ripping out the lovely pasture behind our house and replacing it with a subdivision of 170 houses. In case you missed the first two options, you may can find them here:

Option 1 – The African Safari Garden Oasis
Option 2 – The Garden Oasis of Tolerance and Diversity

I think it was Winston Churchill who said, “Go big or go home.” Okay, maybe it wasn’t Churchill, but I think he gives the quote a bit more weight, don’t you?

To round out my Sky Mall backyard oasis series, I would like to present for your consideration the biggest and most well thought out (?) vignette yet. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you…

Zombieland!

For those of you unfamiliar with this modern day classic, I have provided this trailer:

For a realistic oasis, I had to go outside the confines of the Sky Mall catalog, but let’s begin with what I found there, shall we? (Say yes.)

Zombie of Montclaire Moores Statue 3 at $89.95 each

Not for the faint of heart, this gray-toned Zombie of Montclaire Moors statue features the most zombie-like eyes you’ve ever seen. Captured in meticulous detail in quality designer resin, this zombie garden statue brings the flesh-hungry undead to your daffodil bed!

They’re certainly the most zombie-like eyes I’ve ever seen! I think at least three, don’t you think?

The Dweller Below – Large $89.95

Growing up afraid of things that “go bump in the night,” British artist Manchester gives form to the legendary boogeyman said to roam below the streets of London!

Okay, not necessarily a zombie, but good enough for me! That’s really all I could find from the Sky Mall, but a few zombie statues does not a vignette make.

Miscellaneous garden tools and shotguns (free – We’ve got plenty!)

(Woody Harrelson sold separately)

Hostess delivery truck, estimated blue book value $12,000*

*Okay, I just pulled that figure out of my head. I have no idea how much a Hostess truck costs. But isn’t it fabulous? Since the truck was featured early on in the movie, I was thinking of using it as sort of a “gateway to Zombieland”, perhaps with some pink carnations spilling out of the back to represent the much hated snowball treats scoffed at by Tallahassee.

Black Cadillac Escalade EBay $36,000

Tallahassee’s first vehicle in the movie.

Yellow Hummer EBay $29,995

I think both vehicles are necessary to make the kind of statement we’re going for, don’t you agree?

And finally, what I hope will be the focal point of this beautiful Zombieland Garden Oasis,

Ferris Wheel EBay $59,000 obo

Who can forget that final scene? I think this Ferris wheel is the perfect representation of all the valuable lessons learned in this movie.

Grand total for the Zombieland Garden Paradise: $137,354.80

I realize this particular scenario is a bit of a budget buster, but the grand total is roughly 1/3 of what the lowest price home in this new subdivision will cost. I think my new neighbors are worth it. Don’t you?

So there you have it. All three options. Me and my credit card anxiously await your final decision.

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