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A postscript concerning my son’s tonsillectomy last week:

Upon further reflection—and when you’re awake all night like I was, there is plenty of time for reflection—it wasn’t the visit to the hospital that worried him. He was okay with the hospital. And it wasn’t even the pain. What worried him the most was the very thing he most looked forward to.

The happy gas.

It’s tough trying to explain a medical procedure to a six-year-old, especially when the ins and outs are pretty vague to his father. I didn’t really know what tonsils and adenoids were, what function they served, or why they were giving him such trouble. But the anesthesia part I knew.
So I told him he got to wear a mask like Batman did and that the air would smell like cotton candy and he’d fall asleep. And while he was asleep the doctors would do their business and make him better.

“You won’t feel a thing,” I told him. “Promise.”

He didn’t believe me.

Experience had taught him otherwise. He’d slept before, and he’d either done things or had things happen that he not only remembered, but felt.

He fell out of the bed twice. Felt that. Bopped his face against the headboard. Felt that, too. He’s also awakened himself by burping, talking, snoring, and coughing. Sometimes all at once.

No way, he thought, no way, would he be able to sleep through someone operating on him.

So I explained that the happy gas wouldn’t just put him asleep, it would put him really asleep, and that the doctor would make sure he stayed that way until everything was finished.

Afterward, once we were home and he was safely on the sofa with his ice cream, I asked him about it.

“I didn’t feel anything,” he said. “I can’t even remember anything.”

And then he said this—“I wish I could have some of that for when I go to school. That way I could just wake up when I got home and I wouldn’t remember any of it.”

Funny, yes. And that definitely pegged him as my son. But he really had a great idea there, at least on the surface. Wouldn’t it be great if we could have some advance warning to the less than perfect things we have to face? And wouldn’t it be great if just before we could put on a Batman mask, breathe some cotton-candy air, and fall asleep through the whole thing?

Yes. It would.

I’ll admit for a while I did my best not to try and poke holes in his Happy Gas Theory. I knew there were some and most likely many. But sometimes we take comfort in those things that aren’t and can never be. That’s what I did while sitting on the sofa with him. I reveled.

But the truth of course was that we had to go through our painful things sometimes. We could slide around some and jump over others, but sooner or later a storm would come that we couldn’t outrun or take cover from, and we were left to stand there in the open under the pour.

Sometimes, that didn’t seem right to me.

It would make more sense to say that if God was there and if God was good, He would take better care of the ones who loved Him. He would make sure our paths were clear. He would prevent the pain and the pour and the doubt. He would take away the fear.

If there was such a thing as everyday happy gas, I thought, then shouldn’t it be God?

Maybe. But maybe that pain and pour and doubt served a purpose that outweighed the need for our happiness. Maybe we needed fear so we could know the value of faith.

Maybe.

I didn’t know for sure, but I thought the odds were good that He’d spared me from a great many troubles in my life without me knowing it. Not happy gas, but maybe something better. And as I looked down and saw my son wince when he tried to swallow, I knew that all the happy gas in the world couldn’t take away all the pain. Some still lingered.

That was true for all of us, I supposed. We were all a collection of bruises and cuts. We all had our tender places.

And I thought that in the end, it was our pain and not our happiness that brought us nearer to heaven.

***

To read more from Billy Coffey, visit him at at his website and follow him on the twitter at @billycoffey.

The following is taken from My Utmost for His Highest by Oswald Chambers. It is from the devotion for April 29. I’ve been meditating on this scripture and Mr. Chambers words this week:

“It doth not yet appear what we shall be.” 1 John 3:2

Naturally, we are inclined to be so mathematical and calculating that we look upon uncertainty as a bad thing. We imagine that we have to reach some end, but that is not the nature of spiritual life. The nature of spiritual life is that we are certain in our uncertainty, consequently we do not make our nests anywhere. Common sense says – “Well, supposing I were in that condition . . .” We cannot suppose ourselves in any condition we have never been in. Certainty is the mark of the common-sense life: gracious uncertainty is the mark of the spiritual life. To be certain of God means that we are uncertain in all our ways, we do not know what a day may bring forth. This is generally said with a sigh of sadness, it should be rather an expression of breathless expectation. We are uncertain of the next step, but we are certain of God. Immediately we abandon to God, and do the duty that lies nearest, He packs our life with surprises all the time. When we become advocates of a creed, something dies; we do not believe God, we only believe our belief about Him. Jesus said, “Except ye become as little children.” Spiritual life is the life of a child. We are not uncertain of God, but uncertain of what He is going to do next. If we are only certain in our beliefs, we get dignified and severe and have the ban of finality about our views; but when we are rightly related to God, life is full of spontaneous, joyful uncertainty and expectancy.

“Believe also in Me,” said Jesus, not – “Believe certain things about Me.” Leave the whole thing to Him, it is gloriously uncertain how He will come in, but He will come. Remain loyal to Him.

I’ve had sort of a weird week. And for me, that’s saying something. Lots of things on my mind. Didn’t sleep very well this week. But I did manage to enhance a few lives through the power of social media just the same.

The best of me (or not) on the twitter this week:

@chrissulli Yeah, spending a week on the beach in the Caribbean sounds pretty crappy. (in reply to chrissulli @katdish its nothing against them. I’ll just be so close then and bored on the beach.)

@billycoffey No. Thank YOU. You big deal, you… (in reply to billycoffey @Daylilie222 @katdish @chrissulli @Julie_Weathers Thanks for the #FF!)

@chrissulli Is your family on twitter? Hope not. (in reply to chrissulli @katdish Ya. First week I’m there I’m on vacation with my fam Think I’m going to be miserable the whole time and ready to go see the kids.)

@chrissulli Good Morning, Chris! Thanks for the RT. Sent you some stuff yesterday. Are you getting excited to get back to the DR?

#FF @billycoffey because he’s kind of a big deal, even though he’ll never admit that.

@buzzbyannies Okay, I’m totally jealous… (in reply to buzzbyannies @katdish Oh I think you secretly are. snort!)

@buzzbyannies NOT jealous. Not at all… (in reply to buzzbyannies @CandySteele See you in Seattle! Woot!)

We cannot suppose ourselves into any condition we have not been in. ~ Oswald Chambers

Certainty is the mark of a common sense life, gracious uncertainty is the mark of the spiritual life. ~ Oswald Chambers

Agreed! RT @lainiegallagher: @katdish is the coolest!

@dustinlamont Our drummer says that too. Among other things. (in reply to dustinlamont Sorry for the inappropriately simplistic tweet of “poop” by one of my drummers who took my phone. This goes in the history books. Oh matt.)

I can’t complain but sometimes I still do – Joe Walsh

@HeatheroftheEO Thank you! You like me! You really, really like me! (in reply to HeatheroftheEO And the award for The Blog That Hates 100 Things goes to @katdish for http://katdish.blogspot.com/)

@beckfromfrogandtoad Your Catholic Dutch grandmother-in-law? That’s a mouthfull.

@HeatheroftheEO Because seriously. Those are the rules

@HeatheroftheEO Well please make sure in order to win the award, winner must tell 100things about themselves & make 8 other people do so. (in reply to HeatheroftheEO I think I’m going to start my own blog awards. I’ll give away awards like “best colors for a blog” – “prettiest dog on a blog” & stuff.)

Okay. Seriously leaving to run some errands now

@Helenatrandom No silly. I hope you write a short story. (in reply to Helenatrandom @katdish You hope I disintegrate? That’s kind of odd…)

@Helenatrandom Ooo! I hope you do. (in reply to Helenatrandom @katdish haven’t tried fiction since I was in college. If I was any rustier, I’d disintegrate.)

@marni71 Well that settles it. I’m gonna read it! (in reply to marni71 @katdish It would likely be your most stellar #Katrant yet!)

@marni71 Yeah. But that could be an excellent katrant, doncha think? in reply to marni71 @katdish Don’t read The Shack. If u thought The Giving Tree could cause a #Katrant…well, just sayin’.)

I felt that the it embodied the spirit of the actual meaning of IMGNAHS, which is, “I’m gonna need a hack saw.”

The winner for my “guess the acronym” contest is @RobinMArnold, even though her guess of “I might go nuts and hurt someone” was incorrect

Malcolm Gladwell’s writing pretty much fascinates me.

@muchl8r What part of town are you going to see a doctor? (in reply to muchl8r No joke, every bloody doctor i see makes me take my freaking pants off. #Why?!!)

@duane_scott Or else what? You’ll beat me over the head w/an ear of corn? (in reply to duane_scott @katdish It’s one of my favorite books. You got me to read the Gordon book by Stephen King. Now, you read The Shack or else…..)

@duane_scott I have a copy of The Shack. I can’t bring myself to read it. Don’t know why. Just stubborn I guess

@amysorrells You rendered my smart aleck comment useless. (in reply to amysorrells Oops. Smell the PANSIES. (Thanks, @katdish) New blog post: http://ow.ly/1DSt8)

@jmarkowski0 Oh, I love that song! Child of the 80s that I am. (in reply to jmarkowski0 @katdish My kids love that song and The Tubes “She’s a Beauty”, makes me smile every time)

@amysorrells Cracks me up.

My 8 YO daughter just came thru the door singing 867-5309. I love her.

@10MinuteWriter Thanks. That’s encouraging. (in reply to 10MinuteWriter All you grumpy moms out there who think that taking a nap will refresh you: keep in mind that the house WILL be messier when you wake up.)

@Brian_Russell Ooo! That creepy awesome! (in reply to Brian_Russell @katdish Yeah, its just radio, but you used to have to tell it what you liked… now it just… knows.)

@Brian_Russell Okay. But you’re not the boss of me. (in reply to Brian_Russell @katdish Go to Pandora.com and see what I mean.)

@Brian_Russell Okay. That tweet made no sense to me at all. (in reply to Brian_Russell The new Pandora that Facebook stalks you is pretty accurate.)

RT @br8kthru: @weightwhat I asked first but u ignored me! Fine. Since u like crafts, I made u something special: http://yfrog.com/5h181zcj

@Serverman5 Yes! And gross. I hate that place too. (in reply to Serverman5 @katdish oooo, so its like applebys is it? Bad everywhere.)

@Serverman5 You could just remove the “in Round Rock” and that would still be a true statement. (in reply to Serverman5 Salt grass in roundrock blows.)

It seems @buddylovethedog likes them too. http://twitpic.com/1ix4pe

I love the little wildflowers mixed with the grass in the yard. http://twitpic.com/1ix409

My tweetdeck is down. Carry on.

@redclaydiaries Twitpics? (in reply to redclaydiaries Note to self: harem pants are not a good daytime look. #peoplewatchinginthemall)

@jewda4 Thanks. It’s what I do. (in reply to jewda4 @katdish you have corrupted an originally clean tweet about hard work and ingenuity. job well done!)

@prodigaljohn And sometimes they cost sweaty money. And involve a stripper pole. (in reply to prodigaljohn Most dreams don’t cost money. They cost sweat.)

@Doallas I could probably break her down. It’s been done many times before. (in reply to Doallas RT @katdish: Man, I wish my writing could inspire stories like this everyday!: http://bit.ly/aZUjR3 //I wish Louise would get on Twitter.)

@lainiegallagher Do you mean Dave my computer table, or that dorky strap on lap top desk from the Skymall? (in reply to lainiegallagher @katdish Don’t you have some kind of awesome laptop desk or something that you were touting a while back?)

@weightwhat Okay dang….that’s just wrong on so many levels. (in reply to weightwhat @katdish By any chance did you cut your hair and take a trip to Walmart? http://www.peopleofwalmart.com/?p=12891)

Okay. Off to take a power nap!

Confession No. 2 of the day: I need a nap. I’m on like 3 hours sleep. Sometimes I can’t shut my brain down, & now I’m paying for it

@CassandraFrear It is good. Gotta work w/in the confines of what we are capable of. But we’re capable of much more than we know. (in reply to CassandraFrear @katdish Well, that just shows how unique each person is. We learn to work with what we’ve been given. It’s good.)

@CassandraFrear a LOT!!!! (in reply to CassandraFrear @katdish I just Googled Low Carb Monster. See what you started? How much caffiene is in one?)

@CassandraFrear For today, yes. (in reply to CassandraFrear @katdish So are you off coffee completely?)

@CassandraFrear No. I’ve switched to low carb monster. It’s after lunch, after all. (in reply to CassandraFrear @katdish Thanks. Got any coffee?)

Who says you can’t find quality you tube videos on the Smartypants Blog? I do! http://bit.ly/b66sUw

@CassandraFrear Well, welcome aboard the crazy train. (in reply to CassandraFrear @katdish And just think. I’ve decided to be a writer.)

@CassandraFrear I was putting “air quotes” around the word “special”. Some things get lost in translation (in reply to CassandraFrear @katdish I just Googled “air quotes”. It didn’t help me understand your last tweet. Clue?)

@CassandraFrear Sorry. You know when someone says something & the put their 2 fingers of each hand up to indicate something in quotes?

@CassandraFrear “air quotes” (in reply to CassandraFrear @katdish Well, I have trouble with meanings AND spellings. That’s because I’m special.)

So, I got the most AMAZING note in the mail this week. Never hesitate if you feel lead to encourage someone. It truly blessed me

@CassandraFrear Oh, that’s way too practical for me! (in reply to CassandraFrear @katdish My editor husband inserted American Heritage Dictionary in my bookmarks bar. http://bit.ly/cBSmL9 I use it often.)

Confession: I use google as my go-to spell check engine at least twice a day.
Writers: @spressfield has a great writing post every Wednesday: http://bit.ly/2s7zRq

@lainiegallagher Hello there! Welcome to the twitter! Now go get yourself an avatar. That bird creeps me out.

@redclaydiaries Nice! http://twitpic.com/1ihap3

@PeterPollock You are a strange man, Peter Pollock. (in reply to PeterPollock Just touched a stingray. It felt like jello. Or pudding. It’s making me hungry)

So many mailboxes, so little time. http://twitpic.com/1i2v84

@cascheller It’s funny because it’s true… (in reply to cascheller @katdish I like the Moms Are Better than Dads T-shirt.)

@redclaydiaries I gotta be me…or Bon Qui Qui. Whichever is applicable. (in reply to redclaydiaries @katdish RUDE.)

@redclaydiaries Ah will cut you… (in reply to redclaydiaries @katdish Sorry/you’re welcome. I wonder if they deliver in Texas…)

@redclaydiaries Oh GAAAAA!!! Make it stop! (in reply to redclaydiaries Reading about new kids’ birthday fad: http://bit.ly/9QqMWx So @katdish, is THIS how you were scarred for life?)

I’m at my dad’s house: Land of crappy internet. The epic twitter update has been posted (finally)