Beware the grumpy twitter ho!

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What do you get when you combine rain every single day, grocery shopping, sporatic technical problems with your website, Gmail problems and massive twitter problems? A very cranky katdish. Actually, I didn’t realize I was all that cranky this week. Until I read my tweets.

I think I reached my boiling point yesterday when twitter kept crashing. So, being the mature adult that I am, I tried to find someone to blame. If you are someone who schedules your tweets, please don’t be offended–it’s not you, it’s me…

And now the best of me (or not) on the twitter this week:

SNORT!>>>RT @BigBags: That’s what she said!

I’m leaving my house. And hey, the back door is unlocked! #4square.

One and only #FF: @billycoffey because he’s all pouty & sad I have more followers than him. Also? He’s the best writer on the internets.

@Sernyl_Dymensha Thanks for the follow. That is the freakiest twitter background I’ve ever seen

I’ve probably offended a few people on Twitter today. Fortunately, they have scheduled all their tweets so they’re not here to read mine.

@MichaelDPerkins I like the ones who say, “Please excuse the auto DM” Why do something you knowingly have to excuse (in reply to MichaelDPerkins @katdish I noticed a few schedule the same verses everyday @ the same time. Really bothers me. Also loathe auto dm’s)

@br8kthru You know me. I’m shy. (in reply to br8kthru @katdish Could you tell us how you really feel? I’m having trouble understanding what you really mean to say :))

@arestlessheart yes please and thank you (in reply to arestlessheart @katdish lol – oh dear. what do you want? I’ve been off corn for months. want some substitutions?)

@duane_scott Thank you for being strong enough to agree with me. Snort! (in reply to duane_scott @katdish Thank you for being strong enough to voice your opinion… I AGREE!)

@MarketerMikeE I’ll take that as a compliment Mike. (in reply to MarketerMikeE @katdish you’re a mean low carb Christian)

I guess I picked the wrong week to give up high-fructose corn syrup.

It’s called “social media” not “Look-how-clever-I-am-talk-amongst-yourselves-media”

This may be the low carb monster talking, but all you people scheduling clever remarks and banter on twitter? UR part of the problem.

And not necessarily in a good way >>RT @SBeeCreations: #FF @katdish but beware, she may change your life

Feeling a bit guilty. Went to Facebook b/c twitter was down. Like hanging out w/your kid brother cuz all your friends are out of town.

RT @Ade1965: Brazil has broken twitter #failwhale

Okay Twitter. Whateva…

@prodigaljohn Twitter, for example (in reply to prodigaljohn Of all human activities, writing is the one for which it is easiest to find excuses not to begin. R. Harris)

@SandraHeskaKing Oh, that’s taken care of. I’m having a Brecktastic day (in reply to SandraHeskaKing @katdish Thanks! Hope you have a less than skunkalicous day!)

@VariantVal Well, I was planning on watching some redneck fireworks in the neighborhood, but if the rain doesn’t stop… …we may have to settle for firearms. (in reply to VariantVal @katdish Thanks for the RT, Kathy .. how are you today? Big plans for the weekend?)

(Breathe) Okay. I did NOT lose my long-winded email, which, come to think of it, maybe isn’t such a good thing

STUPID, STUPID G-MAIL! Just ate a rather long-winded email

RT @marni71: Just found some air freshner. Now it smells like death and lavender.

RT @shrinkingcamel: Whistling at work may be a quaint idea, but in reality it is extremely annoying to everyone else within earshot.

Dear rain: okay. We’re good for now. Thanks.

@joannamuses or for white people (in reply to joannamuses @katdish They sure do. Rather odd moves for that song though)

And in other news…Apparently, it’s monsoon season here in Houston.

@curtharding Oooo! I’m telling! (in reply to curtharding Sometimes when I think no one’s watching, I close one eye while using two fingers to smash people’s heads in meetings.)

RT @RobinMArnold: Advice-painters, please use your best painting manners, don’t slop & glop paint. Can’t do that, find something else to do

@gabbysherri SNORT!

(Note: Insert incredibly inappropriate DM here)

@gabbysherri Perhaps I should write a PTA post. (in reply to gabbysherri

@weightwhat -thanks for the RT- I feel a Pit Post coming on!)

@weightwhat I could make some calls. Maybe @gabbysherri could get you a guest spot. (in reply to weightwhat @katdish Yes. Yes it was. And I’m hoping to get booked on Oprah because of it.)

@weightwhat Thanks. And thanks for writing a post. It was very brave of you to share your q-tip addiction.

@redclaydiaries Awesome! Did you hear? @billycoffey got a tatt. Sadly no SEALS or snowballs: (in reply to redclaydiaries @katdish Oh trust me. U were on my mind as I shopped. #cheesebuttlerhasfriends)

@redclaydiaries Hey! Pick me up some deer urine, would ya? (in reply to redclaydiaries Heard of Reefer Madness? This is the redneck version: #bassproshops)

@Becks_Beer Oh, you silly foreigners! Don’t you know football is played with a brown leather ball? (in reply to Becks_Beer @katdish hahah no we mean football : ))

@Becks_Beer You mean soccer? (in reply to Becks_Beer is anyone else suffering from football withdrawel ???)

@duane_scott Being ill prepared for zombie attack. (in reply to duane_scott I’ve got a question. (May be used In blog) what is one thing that makes you worry?)

Time for my favorite dinner: the one I didn’t cook.

@br8kthru Of course not. But I am freakishly strong for a girl. (in reply to br8kthru @katdish what- are you made of stone, woman!? :))

@br8kthru Nah. But I thought it was touching. (in reply to br8kthru @katdish did you get choked up?)

Went to see Toy Story 3 today. Very well done.

@jiagirl That’s right. Dream big or go home I always say. Or something like that… (in reply to jiagirl @katdish Oh & that person has to steer the wayward cart & then follow you home & unpack. A girl can dream right?)

@jiagirl To make it a pleasant experience for me, folks would interview me & ask what meals I liked., then they would pick out ingredients… And then they would follow me home and prepare the meals for the week, then label & freeze them… I don’t think I’m asking too much. (in reply to jiagirl @katdish Who knows? If they gave you a donut when you walked in & had someone follow you to pack & unpack-then maybe I’d be ok w it.)

I hate grocery shopping…I feel an incessant rant coming on.

Look how this Lexus is parked. Is it any wonder why some animals eat their young?

And now I must face my arch nemesis: The grocery store.

“A very important blogger? Talk about your oxymorons!” – Sealy Booth, #bones

So many things I want to write about. Need to put pen to paper before they’re lost forever in the whirling mess that is my brain.

RT @tremendousnews: Canadians gave the world Justin Bieber. The world destroyed our city at G20. Touché, world. Touché.

@marni71 You’re so ghetto. (in reply to marni71 @sarahmsalter @katdish Sup yo?)

Well ladies and gentlemen, the wait is over! Here ya go:

Let me ask you a question: How many nights have you lay awake hoping & praying there was a single resource for all katdishionary terms?

@billycoffey You’re one classy redneck! (in reply to billycoffey How I spent my Saturday evening:

RT @tremendousnews: The G20 is just like the ’70s! Minus the music, love and not-throwing-poo-at-people.

@sarahmsalter Um…yeah. Because you’re really not refined if you don’t know what “fatassistosis” means (in reply to sarahmsalter @katdish You are SO awesome! You just instinctively know what your public wants/needs. :))

Coming soon to A new tab which will contain all katdishionary terms alphabetically & in one place. I know…you’re welcome.

Gotta go get some hair color. I’m looking very skunkalicious at the moment.

@Helenatrandom Its okay Helen. Go to your happy place. Where you never have to dust. (in reply to Helenatrandom @katdish @sarahmsalter Shame on you people reminding me of places I don’t remember dusting. Ever…)

@SandraHeskaKing oh, I’m not dusting. Sarah is. I’m just giving unsolicited advice. (in reply to SandraHeskaKing @saramsalter @katdish Why are you dusting?)

@unmarketing Congrats. I hear that a fairly competitive softball division. (in reply to unmarketing Hit two triples in fat guy over-30 softball last night. I may need a double leg transplant. Can’t move)

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8 Responses to “Beware the grumpy twitter ho!”

  1. Kathleen July 3, 2010 at 1:27 am #

    You have not experienced rain. Come visit me and we’ll show you rain. Months of nonstop rain. Big, long, high, low, wide, cold, wet rain. Come on, I dare ya.
    .-= Kathleen´s last blog ..Burn =-.

    • katdish July 3, 2010 at 9:25 am #

      Well, geez Kathleen. You make it sound so tempting!

  2. Steph July 3, 2010 at 11:24 am #

    Again, I missed all the cranky-ho-ness. Leave it to me to go on vacation when you’re at your best.

    On another topic, do you think it’s legal to ship deer urine?
    .-= Steph´s last blog ..Summmertiiimmmme… and the livin is eeeeeeasyyyy… =-.

    • katdish July 3, 2010 at 11:50 am #

      I just figured you could buy me 4 oz or less and put it in your carry on luggage.

  3. Sandra Heska King July 3, 2010 at 11:31 am #

    .-= Sandra Heska King´s last blog ..A Paper Bag- a Window- and a Tongue Blade =-.

  4. V.V. Denman July 3, 2010 at 11:54 am #

    I realized years ago that I am supposed to be sweet to the people that I encounter in my daily walk. (Silence is often easier in my case.)

    But now you’re saying that I’m supposed to be nice online as well? Really? You’re serious? That’s just too much.

  5. Wendy July 3, 2010 at 7:11 pm #

    Not nearly as grumpy as it could have been. I’m not saying it wasn’t grumpy. But there clearly weren’t enough death threats thrown in. And Lexus guy really could’a used a good baseball bat to the headlights. You do carry a baseball bat to the grocery store, don’t you?
    .-= Wendy´s last blog ..Happy 3rd of July- =-.

    • Marni July 6, 2010 at 12:24 pm #

      I don’t carry a bat, but you’ve given me something to think about now. I do bring baby wipes though. The cart handles, left unattended, could cause the Plague to come back to life. Just sayin…

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