Why I hate writing

image courtesy of photobucket.com

Do you know what I was going to call this post?

Why I hate writers.

In the interest of full disclosure, you should know that I’m in a really pissy mood right now and I’m not sure why. Two years ago, I would have done what any normal person would do. I would yell at my kids or eat a half gallon of Blue Bell ice cream, or turn on the Wii and box a few rounds. Heck, I may have done all of these things simultaneously.

But I’m not normal anymore.

I’m a writer.

I can sit here and say, “Well, I’m not really comfortable calling myself a writer. After all, I have no plans to ever have anything I write published into a book. Clearly, I’m not invested enough into the craft to call myself a writer, yada, yada.” (Unless, of course some publishing type happens to be reading this and wants to offer me an obscene amount of money to write my memoir. Please validate my existence!)

Whatever. Here I sit banging away at the keyboard, searching the depths of my soul as to why it is I’m so angry. I’m actually sitting here wondering if I should take a spiritual approach to writing about my anger, or if I should just go with my standard “katrant”. This is why I hate writing. Because everything becomes potential material. I’m always writing. Whether it’s in a notebook, on the computer or in my head. It won’t stop! Why won’t it stop?

Back to my original statement:

Why I hate writers.

Good writers and bad writers. All of you. I blame you all.

Good writers: I blame you because when I read your work I feel inferior. You force me to study the craft so that my writing can be better. This is an investment in time and energy. I don’t feel like investing right now. I just want to do what I feel like doing. But you make me look bad if I do that. Thanks for nothing.

Bad writers: I blame you because when I read your self indulgent, flowery-worded diatribes it gives me a false sense of confidence. You make me think I’m actually better than I am with your badness. Truth is, I still suck, just not as much as you do.

Okay…

Not really. I don’t hate writers. I love writers – all writers. I love writing – good and bad. All writing encourages me to write better. It’s just so darned frustrating sometimes.

I think I’ll eat some ice cream…

Carry on…

EDITOR’S NOTE: It occurred to me after writing this post that upon reading it, approximately 96% of people reading who consider themselves writers would wonder (if even for the briefest period of time) if I was referring to them when I mentioned “bad writers”. That’s another thing I hate about writing. It tends to do a number on your self esteem. Not to worry. I’m actually NOT talking about 96% of you.

And now you’re wondering if you’re in the 4%.

See what I mean?

« « Previous Post: Going deep (by Kirsten Nilsen) | Next Post: Why I hate writing, Part 2 » »

69 Responses to “Why I hate writing”

  1. Riki July 24, 2010 at 2:26 pm #

    This post made me want to write!

  2. Amy Nabors May 19, 2011 at 5:39 pm #

    I totally get this! I’m just now to the point of considering myself a writer even though I only write on my blog and no one pays me, but you are so right about all these. Oh and I love the ‘katrant!’

  3. Janice Maddox (@sierrawriter) May 19, 2011 at 6:40 pm #

    Sometimes I think all the other writers with their nice healthy looking profile pictures are somehow more evolved than me. But, nope. You are just like me. Feel much better. Now I just have to figure out how to blend being an openly neurotic writer (I blame the process) with being a therapist. Was considering “World’s Most Neurotic Guru” as a platform, but I don’t think it has legs. Thank you for the great post.

  4. Len May 23, 2011 at 9:39 am #

    Woooot, Thank you! I think… But don’t I feel like what I call my writing is more the way it is now than I did before? Yes, I’m lifted to definite personal vacillation! Kudos! You are a success in my whirl.

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