Yet another disturbing week…

Last week I shared a twitpic of a giant disgusting frog from my yard. This week, I stepped on (with bare feet, no less) one of those disgusting gecko lizard creatures. And yes, I shared my horror on the twitter.

But before we proceed with the update, I wanted to wish my dear friend Candy Steele a very HAPPY (belated) BIRTHDAY! Thanks for being awesome. I salute you:

And now, the best of me (or not) on the twitter this week:

@br8kthru So, rather than picking it up (with copious amounts of toilet paper) & throwing it in the toilet, I should put hot sauce on it (in reply to br8kthru @katdish So that when the dog tried to eat it, it would burn his mouth & he wouldn’t try it again. :))

@br8kthru Why would I put hot sauce on a dead lizard?

@CarrieKintz They’re so gross. And they lurk by the back door. When you open it, they jump in the house (in reply to CarrieKintz @katdish I just gagged. Doings some humming in the fetal position myself.)

@SBeeCreations GAAAA!!!! (in reply to SBeeCreations @katdish I guess it must be the time of year. We had one get in the house. Was sitting in my towel when I got out of the shower *shudder)

@br8kthru It’s like my own little horror show played out on a regular basis.
@br8kthru Yes. The cat likes to torture them until they die. Then the dog tries to swallow them and throws them up.

Just stepped on this with my BARE FEET! Going to curl up in the fetal position and hum loudly for a bit.

Unless there’s been an influx of Canadians that I’m unaware of.

Odds are pretty good that people coming into the country illegally on the border of AZ & Mexico are going to be Hispanic.

Police officer David Salgado suing over AZ immigration law b/c it would force him to target Hispanics. Um…okay

@SBeeCreations Thanks. You just don’t see quality tweets like that from your “social media gurus

@redclaydiaries Mandles:

@redclaydiaries No. The Apocalypse is a new frangrance by @weightwhat & @br8kthru, makers of the burrito fart vuvuzela mandle. (in reply to redclaydiaries @katdish Catching up on tweets… So apparently it IS the Apocalypse, but only if @weightwhat says so?)

@br8kthru Wait! First we need @weightwhat to trademark it: The burrito fart vuvuzela mandle (in reply to br8kthru @katdish & when it flickers, there’d B little pauses. I’m giggly just thinking abt this. Why is this not a thing? Get to work scientists!)

@br8kthru It would be like a more annoying version of the vuvuzela horn (in reply to br8kthru @katdish That’s very unsettling. Does it make a continuous noise as it burns? That would be quite awesome.)

@br8kthru Oh, excuse me. I’m getting my posts mixed up. I was thinking of the burrito fart scented mandle. (in reply to br8kthru @katdish point of order: refried beans not burrito. Carry on.)

@br8kthru @weightwhat I just find it funny that @helenatrandom is offended by the lavender, but not the tires or burrito.

Buddy Love is thrilled w/the positive response to his guest post on my blog today.

@weightwhat You can’t trademark the Apocalypse! (in reply to weightwhat @br8kthru I love the smell of Apocalypse™ in the morning! Now with bacon!)

I love automatic DMs after following people! Also? It’s opposite day.

Walking in my neighborhood. Guy just drove by in a convertible & I can still smell his aftershave. Dude! Gaaa!

Time for some serious #writing time. And by “serious writing time”, I mean “Skymall”

@SMBlooding Yesh (in reply to SMBlooding @katdish Oh, oh, and a BIG red hat! Yes!)

@RachelleGardner I think big hair and a feather boa say, “I’m a serious writer.”
@RachelleGardner So…like a Glamour shot or something? (in reply to RachelleGardner Writers: As soon as you get an actual book publishing contract, you need to get an actual head shot. By a professional. PLEASE.)

Just returned from the grocery store. Not so bad, really. Just kidding…it sucked.
@rmaxwell142 Yes. I’m contractually obligated to root for the Yankees. @billycoffey is very demanding. in reply to rmaxwell142

Why yes! Yes I do>RT @SandraHeskaKing: Do you think my husband is cheap?


I heart the car wash gift shop.

@redclaydiaries They have dogs, too.
(in reply to redclaydiaries @katdish Stuffed cat that breathes? GAAA. I need to get 1 for Bob. He’d think it was Yumtacular.)

@RobinMArnold Weird, huh? Stuffed cat. That breathes. Creeptacular. (in reply to RobinMArnold WTFrenchToast is that?)

@lainiegallagher Worst part? I suspect it may have been an actual cat at some point. (in reply to lainiegallagher @katdish Yeah, I’ve seen them before! I don’t understand who would buy one. Maybe if you refuse to buy your kid a real animal or something.)

@SassafrasHill Not a cat. A stuffed cat. That breathes. You know, for kids. (in reply to SassafrasHill @katdish – Cats creep you out? Why?)

These things creep me out.

New! From the makers of Cup-a-soup…

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