Hit the redneck (by Billy Coffey)
photo of Radivoje Lajic from telegraph.co.uk
You could say Radivoje Lajic and I have a few things in common, at least on the surface.
We’re both country boys for one, though what I call country happens to be the mountains of Virginia and what Radivoje calls country happens to be Gornji Lajici, a small village in northern Bosnia. We’re both content to live our own lives and mind our own business. And then there’s the fact that deep down, we both just want to be left alone. We want our lives free of drama and spectacle. We want to quietly go on our way and just keep doing what we’re doing.
Problem is, that doesn’t seem to happen very often with Radivoje. And sometimes it doesn’t happen very often with me, either. Things get in the way. Specific things.
In Radivoje’s case, it’s the aliens who won’t leave him alone.
Since 2007, Radivoje’s small house has been hit six times by meteorites. He has the space rocks to prove it, too. Experts at Belgrade University have confirmed them all as genuine. He even sold one of them to a university in the Netherlands so he could put a new steel girder reinforced roof on his house. He was tired of patching all the holes.
For their part, scientists are still trying to figure out how and why poor Radivoje has been forced to endure this. The odds of anyone getting hit by a single meteorite are about 0.000000136%. The odds of getting hit by six of them? Incalculable.
There is some speculation that either his house or his town sits on some supercharged magnetic field, but nothing has been proven. And even if it was, that wouldn’t explain the fact that all of this seems to happen only during a heavy rain. Never in the sunshine.
A mystery, the scientists say. But not to Radivoje. He knows what’s going on. To him, it’s pretty obvious:
“I have no doubt I am being targeted by aliens. They are playing games with me. I don’t know why they are doing this. When it rains I can’t sleep for worrying about another strike.”
Funny, yes. Funny to me, anyway. I don’t know why this is happening, but to think aliens are floating up in space playing a game of Hit the Serbian seems a bit of a stretch.
But then I thought it over and decided that maybe if Radivoje has his facts wrong, then so do I. Because if you substitute “aliens” for “God” in his quote above, you might just have me.
There are times in my life when I feel like God is targeting me. Lots of times. Many more than six. I suppose in that regard, Radivoje’s gotten off pretty easy.
I’ve been known to believe that God plays games with me. He’ll dangle some blessing right in front of my eyes and then snatch it away the second I reach out for it. He’ll answer little prayers like getting me a good parking spot at the mall but not big ones like not letting my kids get sick. And there are always those infernal lessons He’s intent on teaching me, things like patience and humility and trust, things I’m sure will build me up later but always seem to make me feel torn apart now.
To make matters worse, those lessons always seem to come at the worst possible time. Not when my life is sunny, but when it’s raining on my insides. And the rain always seems to pour harder then, because I’m left worrying what He’s going to do next.
“I have no doubt I am being targeted by aliens. They are playing games with me. I don’t know why they are doing this. When it rains I can’t sleep for worrying about another strike.”
I get that. I get it because there are times when I have no doubt I am being targeted by God. He is playing games with me. I didn’t know why He is doing that. When it rains I can’t sleep for worrying about another strike.
I can’t say there isn’t a little bit of Radivoje Lajic’s thinking in me. I have my moments when I think God’s in heaven playing Hit the Redneck. And chances are good that you’ve felt the same more than once about your own life. As for me, I’m going to work on that.
To read more from Billy Coffey, visit him at his blog What I Learned Today and follow him on twitter at @BillyCoffey
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Generally I don’t have a lack of words here, but this is one weird story. A Serbian man married one of my best friends. If this was his house, I reckon he would wait on his rooftop with a potato launcher (ya see he married an Idaho girl) and fire off big ole spud into those rain clouds. Of course he would be drinking a beer whilst he waited. Me? I’d rather hide under God’s wings and take to the roof with prayer…and a really sturdy umbrella.
Blessings.
.-= A Simple Country Girl´s last blog ..A Little Good News Today =-.
Oh this is deep. But good deep. I sometimes think God is playing games with me, too. I wonder why he is doing what he’s doing. I blame him for bad things in my life sometimes, I do. And sometimes I forget to thank him for the good things, too.
I’m reading through the Old Testament with my 5-year-old right now — a kids’ version of the Bible (which, frankly, is difficult enough for me). He keeps asking, “Why is God so mean? Why does God sound so mad?” I have trouble coming up with a good answer. Maybe we should have started with the New Testament.
.-= Michelle@ Graceful´s last blog ..Lighting Lamps =-.
Okay, that is crazy…
I can’t believe his home has been hit that often.
As to your point. I can definitely relate to feeling like God is playing hit the redneck to get my attention. He has a way of doing that though. It’s actually probably the best way to get my attention.
.-= michael´s last blog ..Boogers & Gum- A Guide To Kindergarten =-.
Fascinating story, and I like how you made that small change in words to make some big points.
.-= Maureen´s last blog ..Monday Muse- Floridas Poet Laureate =-.
Do you think after God plays “hit the redneck” he turns to the angels and says, “git r done”?
I know what you mean Billy, my humor side just won out over my reflective side today. Great post as always.
.-= jasonS´s last blog ..God Doesn’t Want That =-.
HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA, this just struck me as really funny today. (no pun intended on the “struck” either)
.-= *~Michelle~*´s last blog ..An obituary =-.
Great thoughts, beautifully written (as per the Billy Coffey tradition), but I have a feeling my main takeaway will depart from most people’s.
Lately I’ve been in an on-going dialog with a Buddhist and a skeptic, both of whom claim to be atheists, and I’ve seen first hand how very important perspective and worldview are to our interpretation of what we see and experience. For poor Mr. Lajic there is but one explanation for this phenomenon, because he is convinced aliens exist and are capable of throwing meteors with extraordinary precision. As funny and absurd as that may sound to you or me, this is his reality. It reminds me afresh that faith in Christ is a precious gift from God to be guarded and treasured, and that one of the best things we can pray for anyone we love is that God will increase his faith.
So, really, when God plays “hit the redneck,” He’s doing you a big favor by testing and purifying your faith. Next time maybe you should thank Him.
Love, Jeanne
.-= Jeanne Damoff´s last blog ..Day Nine in Seattle- Capitol Hill =-.
Okay…I know this is a poignant lesson and all, but this story totally cracked me up. Laughed until I cried. I do get what you are saying, and the lesson you shared within the story, though.
Maybe I’m just feeling a little “punch drunk”. The past month has been extremely stressful and emotional in our family. Perhaps I just needed some sort of release. Who knows? Then again, it could be the redneck in me coming out. I could just hear somebody hollering, “Duuuuck, Bubba Radivoje, duck!”
This is a great post, Billy…love the title!
Wow! That is just too weird! Thanks, Billy-boy! Very interesting!
.-= Lynn Mosher´s last blog ..We Are Family! =-.
Loved the story, as usual. But [and I hope this doesn't shock you] I found it really funny too.
Part of that might be because:
a. I’m 1/4 Serbian, and the aliens are targeting ME too!!!! (But only 1/4 of the time.)
and
b. When I read “Hit the Redneck,” I find myself doing it to the tune of “Hit the Road, Jack!” You know,
Hit the reh-eh-ehdneck,
and don’t you come back no more, no more, no more, no more!
Sorry/You’re welcome.
.-= Steph´s last blog ..My extra husband =-.
Laughing at Jason’s “git r done”
OK, so this I can totally relate to: “He’ll dangle some blessing right in front of my eyes and then snatch it away the second I reach out for it.”
I’ve mentioned before that I have had several miscarriages over the past few years…like 7 or 8, sad that I have lost count. There has always been the mix of emotions when that second line appears on the test…..and then as soon as I allow my heart to fall in love all over again….it is taken away.
Not sure if I feel targeted by God….but I can’t wait to have the question “why” answered when we meet face to face.
.-= *~Michelle~*´s last blog ..An obituary =-.
I tend to think that when I’m hit, it’s because my steering is off. And that maybe I had it coming. Then I have to give myself a good shake. Maybe this is why I always have so many bruises.
Great post! You should be a writer.
.-= Sandra Heska King´s last blog ..In My Mind On a Michigan Monday =-.
The chance of being hit by 6 asteroids is 6.32752×10^-44
You’re welcome.
.-= Sharkbait´s last blog ..Biblios Hokku – 2 Peter =-.