The legend continues, Part Five
We interrupt the PCB update to wish a very HAPPY BIRTHDAY to my dear friend and fellow long time PCB supporter, Helen from Helen at Random Musings! (Otherwise known as @HelenatRandom)
And now, the update you have all been anxiously (?) waiting for:
As you may recall from Tuesday’s post, I met secretly with one of PCB’s former co-workers who wished only to be identified as “Yellowtail”. Based upon information gathered in this meeting, I set my GPS coordinates in my Jeep and headed south towards an undisclosed location near the Houston Ship Channel. Of course, I got lost anyway, because I have absolutely no sense of direction. I can’t even tell my left from my right without pretending to eat. But I digress…
Area fine dining establishment
After some lunch and a few discreet inquiries at one of the area’s fine dining establishments, I donned my dark sunglasses and uni-bomber hoodie and made my way to a secret warehouse where PCB was allegedly being kept “in storage”.
From the outside of this nondescript warehouse, one would never imagine what was waiting inside for this undercover blogger.
One of several pics one might find after googling "nondescript warehouse".
Unfortunately for me, my preliminary recon revealed that there was an armed guard at front entrance. Fortunately for me, said guard had fallen fast asleep watching Judge Judy on a 13″ rabbit eared television. (I know…what are the odds, right?)
I was able to slip past the guard completely undetected. Once inside, I was shocked by the sheer number of “retired” butlers I found.
Some may have found their way there for being poor imitations:
Others perhaps for repeated dress code violations:
Imagine my surprise when, in what I thought was an exclusively male profession, I happen to come across a female butler:
Oh, wait…nevermind. Pretty sure that was a dude:
There were butlers there of all ages. From the relatively young:
To the…GAAA!!!:
Row after row I searched, and while I found some that bore a striking resemblance to the Pornographic Cheese Butler (perhaps an older sibling?):
I was unable to locate PCB. But then, out of the corner of my eye, I spotted him among a large group of butlers:
And while my mission that day was to rescue him from this terrible place, I must admit he seemed quite content among his new friends. I’m not even sure if this was, in fact, my beloved PCB. But I decided to leave him there in his new home. This may or may not have something to do with the fact that the sleeping guard had found his way back to me, and was making a discreet call into his walkie talkie.
As I made my way towards the door, I was able to get one last glance at PCB:
I must admit, he seemed well taken care of. Perky, even…
Before exiting the premises, I think I also may have spotted another familiar face:
(Sorry, Yellowtail. Totally my bad.)
Farewell, PCB! Until we meet again…
It was truly a kind thing you did, to leave him among family. I know your neighbors and friends will think it’s a kind thing.
Please don’t tell me the story has come to an end. PCB has become like a dear friend.
I thought you would appreciate the fact that I just snorted.
.-= Michael´s last blog ..I Dare Me =-.
What is wrong with you???
.-= Sharkbait´s last blog ..Review – Free Refill – Mark Atteberry =-.
omigoodness – you’re hilarious!
.-= Kelly Langner Sauer´s last blog ..a giveaway – “two” =-.
Clearly you have far too much time on your hands. And that unisex butler is clown-creepy.
Perky, snort!
.-= Candy´s last blog ..The Sign =-.
I love solid investigative journalism.
.-= Jason´s last blog ..Taking a step =-.
That is an unfortunate varicose vein running down the back of his left leg, but other than that, PCB seems content. I’m glad you left him, yet wished him well.
And Sharkbait, stop being a grumpy gills
There’s always someone that pees in the pool. Ehem…Sharkbait.
.-= Annie K´s last blog ..An Excellent Use of Time =-.
I am at a (near) loss for words…
At least I still have the sneaky wooden butler brother, Horace, peeking out of that winery/art gallery window. Just saw him yesterday, in fact. And I can’t be certain, but (oh, stop!) I think he had a walkie-talkie. It wasn’t in his back pocket, cuz he ain’t got any back pockets…it was behind the bottle of wine.
I will digress here, Katdish, it has been said by our friend Kathleen that we look alike. Other similarities have persuaded me to think perhaps we were separated at birth, but your non-existent sense of direction cinches the deal. And that comment about pretending to eat to determine right from left…
In college I had to take a teach-’em-how-to-dance class. Of course I had to master some fine arts of body girations myself first, including square dancing, contra dancing, tango, waltz, and all other manner of fancy foot working. The instructor was slightly intimidating and since I always seem to confuse my right from my left in extreme pressure situations (like high school driver’s ed–I am not sure how I passed that–at least I never accidentally shot up the hill in reverse whilst parallel parking like my other driving cohorts). Anyway, I marked big black letters (L & R) on my hands before the final dancing exam.
My partner was equally as nervous and he looked quizzically at my hands but the square dancing calls burst forth over the speakers and away we went. After repeated smashes and crashes, I stopped and announced, “You guys are all going the wrong way! Look, my hands have it. I know!” To which my partner said under his breathe, “Yeah Darlene, you wrote them on the wrong hands.” My bad.
I really digressed to make my point, but Katdish, I think we may be related. And to discover this tid-bit over buns and wine brings a tear to my eye.
Blessings.
.-= A Simple Country Girl´s last blog ..What if We are Wrong =-.
I think the whole “writing L and R on the wrong hand” thing cinches it for me. We must have been separated at birth.
Thank you for the birthday wishes. Love PCB’s new tat!
I suppose he does look happy there among his brother and sister butlers.
.-= Helen´s last blog ..The Green Police =-.
That is so funny! The very old butler made me laugh. He has beautiful blue eyes, though.
.-= Annie McMahon´s last blog ..WriteOnCon Notes about Voice Part One =-.
(Note: Read this comment in a thick Russian accent, like Natasha on Bullwinkle.)
Good work, Katdushka! You not only discovered the whereabouts of our missing comrade, fondly known around the agency as the KGB’s PCB, you also located our arch enemy, Butch the Transvestite Geisha. (Maybe he was born with it, but I’m pretty sure it’s Maybelline.) Your reward is hidden at Kroger, aisle 5, inside a box of Cocoa Puffs, bottom shelf, third from the left. (Left is the hand you don’t eat with, unless you’re left handed. Don’t worry about it, though. Even if you snag the wrong box, you’ll probably still get a prize.)
.-= Jeanne Damoff´s last blog ..Last Day in Seattle =-.
Oh dear…can this really be the end of the saga? I will still give place in my memories for PCB, and hope he is really happy with his new friends. I, for one, will miss him. If he should reappear at some future date he will be welcomed with joy.
.-= okiewife´s last blog ..Daily Survival- Pellet Rifle Hunting- by DM =-.
Can a Pulitzer Prize be far behind? Watergate Schmatergate. This is most definitely the story of a lifetime. I feel as though I am a part of history.
.-= jasonS´s last blog ..A Foster Parent’s Prayer =-.
Hilarious!
I hope they shut that warehouse up real tight at night. Imagine PCB and crew loose on Halloween!
.-= Maureen´s last blog ..I Remember Better When I Paint =-.
I will not rest until I have that pirate butler.
.-= Billy Coffey´s last blog ..30 Bloggers- 30 Days =-.
There is so much nudity on your site these days that my internet filter has deemed it as a caution zone.
Loved your collection of butler photos! Good detecting too, even if you allowed PCB to stay with his new family of friends.
.-= Hazel´s last blog ..Aprons =-.
I have no words.
.-= Sandra Heska King´s last blog ..Patient in Tribulation =-.