Warning: Twitter update w/much talk of yarking

It’s been several weeks since I’ve done a twitter update. I’ve been busy with some other stuff, then I got sick this week, etc. So, when I sat down to compile my tweets from the past few weeks, I started putting some things together based on tweets and the timeline.

Do you want to know a theory of mine? Editing makes you sick. As always, these tweets are in backwards order. If you’ll notice, early on, @billycoffey was sick (while still maintaining his no-vomit streak). Guess what he was doing when he got sick? Editing. Then, a few days later, I got sick. Guess what I’ve been doing? Yep–editing. So there you go…

Of course, it could have been that deep-fried Monte Cristo sandwich I ate the other night, but you never know…

A very edited version of the best of me (or not) on the twitter for the past couple of weeks:

@billycoffey Bet that moment was right up there w/reading your book. Snort!

RT @billycoffey: SNOW DAY endorser Don Mattingly named manager of Los Angeles Dodgers

RT badbananaWhen Frodo was saved by giant eagles after walking all the way to Mt. Doom, I bet he was all “WE HAVE GIANT EAGLES?!?!?!”

I am convinced there is some unwritten ordinance that requires that at least one nail salon occupy space at any strip mall.

“Children need encouragement. If a kid gets an answer right, tell him it was a lucky guess. That way he develops a good, lucky feeling. – J Handy

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go back to bed & pray that I start feeling better or Jesus comes back.

Subtitled: I think I have food poisoning. Please feel free to submit many haikus tomorrow.

I am sick. I was going to write a katdishionary post tomorrow, but b/c @marni71 & @redclaydiaries inspired me, tomorrow: Platypus Rainbow 2

Okay, feeling crappy. Gonna try and get some rest. Miss me!

Well, @billycoffey may be the Cal Ripken of not puking, but I broke my streak in spades last night. Ugh!

Daughter: I’ve been hanging out w/the other Asian girls at school. Me: you’re 1/4 Asian. Daughter: I know,but still.

Decision is a sharp knife that cuts clean & straight. Indecision is a dull one that hacks & tears & leaves ragged edges behind.~J McKeithen

RT beckfromfrogandtoad The kids are s-p-e-l-l-i-n-g their conversation to keep it a secret from me. INGENIOUS!

@ExpeditionNovel It would probably be a mostly true work of fiction. Or, as I like to call it, a Faction.

@ExpeditionNovel Thanks. I appreciate that. But when it comes to my own writing, I have a tendency towards devastating laziness

@gyoung9751 More of a life verse, really. (in reply to gyoung9751 @katdish “if veiled threats of violence work, I’m willing to go there.” A theme for the advertising campaign?)

@salamicat I want you to read @billycoffey’s book because you want to, but if veiled threats of violence work, I’m willing to go there

RT @billycoffey: There is magic in this world, I will say. God is the magician. And we are His hands. – #SnowDay

RT @marni71: @katdish Don’t think it’s robots, but I don’t think they can help u since they R busy w/their banana eating & poo flinging

@marni71 Do they have actual humans working there, or just robots?

Do you know what’s great? Sending an email to Amazon only to get a computer generated auto-reply that does not address the issue. – NOT

Wise counsel >RT @billycoffey: @kelybreez I’ve never known @katdish not to be. Wouldn’t want to get on her bad side, though.

@TchrEric Good morning, Eric. You’d better have a great day. (in reply to TchrEric @katdish Morning bossy lady! :))

@billycoffey Again, you’re welcome. It’s what I do. (in reply to billycoffey @HeatheroftheEO I think @katdish thinks she’s a role model and spiritual guide to everyone.)

Did you know you can get War & Peace free on Kindle? Much lighter than its original hardcover version.

When I asked why she was selling it, she said because people collect them. Oh, that makes it okay.

Can y’all read what that says? I bought it off some troll who doesn’t care they’re taking money from the author. http://plixi.com/p/44964344

@HeatheroftheEO She’s too stubborn to be molded. (in reply to HeatheroftheEO RT @katdish: @TchrEric I consider myself more of a role model and spiritual guide to @billycoffey (I thought you led @redclaydiaries too?)

@TchrEric I consider myself more of a role model and spiritual guide to @billycoffey

@TchrEric I’m a bossy everything. (in reply to TchrEric @katdish Oh….and you would know about the “bossy mom” thing right? :))

If eating peanut butter straight out of the jar is wrong, I don’t wanna be right.

Yes…THAT Don Mattingly!

“Everybody needs a snow day! To slow down and take a breath of what really is important.” ~ Don Mattingly http://bit.ly/23g1Kw

@learell RT @katdish: Does anyone know when the new Angry Birds game is coming out? // One day before my wife leaves me.

Just looked at the fundraising stuff my kids brought home. 3 beautiful, full color catalogs of crap I don’t need.

“And could you keep your heart in wonder at the daily miracles of your life, your pain would not seem less wondrous than your joy”~Gibran

“I’ve no time for broads who want to rule the world alone. Without men, who’d do up the zipper on the back of your dress?” – Bette Davis

@TchrEric Did you know that @billycoffey hasn’t puked since Christmas Eve, 1995? That’s impressive.

@billycoffey I think I just threw up in my mouth a little. (in reply to billycoffey @katdish Something’s loaded.)

@billycoffey Bases loaded? (in reply to billycoffey @katdish It’s the bottom of the ninth.)

@billycoffey Are you still the Carl Ripken of not puking? Is your streak still alive?

Kitchen Tip: Never store paprika next to cinnamon. #oatmealfail

“I haven’t thrown up since Christmas Eve, 1995. I’m the Cal Ripken of not puking.” – @billycoffey

RTnoveldoctor Deep-frying makes everything taste better. Except maybe disappointment. And Junior Mints

@HeatherSunseri Remember the good old days when you put on mascara while driving instead of checking your emails?

@PaperIsDue Are you saying Paper is Due is not your real name? (in reply to PaperIsDue I think of you all by your twitter names. If I ever meet you in real life, I will call you the wrong thing.)

@MarketerMikeE Don’t sell yourself short, Mike. I’m sure you’ve annoyed lots of people on twitter. (in reply to MarketerMikeE I haven’t annoyed enough people on Twitter, I’ve decided to take a crack at it on Facebook.)

*?*&@#!!! Ahh…I feel better now.

Having a corn dog for lunch. Was going to go w/mustard, but I’m trying to eat more fruits & veggies. Ketchup it is.

So…trying to check off a bunch of stuff from my To-Do list this morning. Think I need to take a short breather. Hello, #AngryBirds!

@sarahmsalter Oh, wait…it’s not directness I struggle with. It’s sarcasm

@sarahmsalter You know, I struggle with being direct sometimes, but I think I’m getting better, don’t you?

Too subtle?

Writing my endorsement for @billycoffey’s soon to be released debut novel, #SnowDay. How’s this?: “Buy this book, or you’re dead to me.”

@CandySteele So, what is that? Squitter? (in reply to CandySteele @katdish In the squirrel world, they are only allowed 15 characters. Unless you’re a ninja squirrel.)

@CandySteele @redclaydiaries He certainly has an economy of words. But maybe not for a squirrel

@redclaydiaries GAAAA! Where’s my backscratcher (in reply to redclaydiaries @katdish Good idea. How bout a dog hair snuggie?)

@redclaydiaries You know what your avatar needs? Some dog hair. Maybe one of those ribbons made of dog hair.

@redclaydiaries Hey! Like you new avatar, just can’t get used to it. Keep wondering who that chick in my friends column is. Delete

Thinking of writing a song about washing my daughter’s clothes all day. Working title: “Glitter in the lint trap”

Anyone who says a dog is not useful has never spilled a plate of rice on the kitchen floor.

Sorry….had to rant. Carry on…

I’m so sick of unethical people.

And you are on my crap list in black sharpie.

If you have a publisher’s copy of a book marked “not for resale” & you choose to sell it, you’re taking money away from the author.

Well, duh…I had no idea Angry birds had secret powers.

@melissa_rae There are some who follow for the courtesy refollow & then dump you. Gotta lay the unfollow hammer down on them.

Fixin’ to go eat some Tex-Mex. If you don’t know what that is, so sorry. You’re missing out.

Motivation and intent mean a great deal to me. Don’t NOT do something b/c you’re afraid to get caught, don’t do it b/c it’s WRONG.

@duane_scott Who me? Bossy?

Never been much for computer games. So how is it that Angry Birds is appealing? It just makes me smile.

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3 Responses to “Warning: Twitter update w/much talk of yarking”

  1. Steph September 18, 2010 at 9:09 am #

    As usual, a highly entertaining recap. I’d take exception to the conversation about me and my stubbornness… But it’s totally true. Then again, I’ll point out that you and I are EXACTLY ALIKE.

    Steph (@redclaydiaries)
    .-= Steph´s last blog ..Blog Libs =-.

  2. Eric September 18, 2010 at 10:59 am #

    Hey! I made it into one of the great Kat’s Twitter posts…I am so honored (or ashamed)…hmmm not sure which yet… :)Wonderful and entertaining…I expect nothing less from you…
    .-= Eric´s last blog ..The Gift Flash Fiction 55 =-.

  3. Helen September 20, 2010 at 12:12 pm #

    We have a similar ordinance here in Chicago and the neighboring suburbs.
    .-= Helen´s last blog ..What I Lack- Chapter 3 in The Whole in Our Gospel =-.

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