Twitter Update No. 66 – Lawsome

Yeppers. Twitter update number 66. Apparently, I have a lot to say. A real mixed bag of nuts on the twitter this week: baseball, Walmart and a dreaded neighborhood garage sale. Also, approximately 28,000 tweets which mysteriously disappeared have now returned. Perhaps I can publish them in a book afterall. But most likely not…

The best of me (or not) on the twitter this week:

Son just bought a music book for French horn that came w/CD. Just heard My Immortal played on French horn & died a little inside.

@NikoleHahn Duly noted. (in reply to NikoleHahn @katdish @CassFrear I’d want the secret police double agent position to help the peasants escape the Supreme Commander of the Western Hem.)

@CassFrear @NikoleHahn Congress? Not for me. If there’s an opening for Supreme Commander of the Western Hemisphere, I’m all up in that. (in reply to NikoleHahn @CassFrear @katdish That’s probably a good que to be careful what you tweet. If any of us runs for congress, we’ll eat our own words)

@CassFrear I would, except twitter ate most of my tweets. I think they’re in a vault somewhere. (in reply to CassFrear @katdish Ha! I figured I’d get a reaction. I wonder, could you put your tweets in a book and sell them?)

@kelybreez That was Al Gore. (in reply to kelybreez @katdish I thought you invented the interwebs… Or was it that other guy…?)

@kelybreez I’m like the Kevin Bacon of the interwebs. (in reply to kelybreez @katdish “Aren’t you glad I intoduced you to @weightwhat?” That was you?! I wondered who started this madness.)

Just cut and pasted tweets for my next twitter update. Anyone care to guess how many I’ve done?

@kelybreez Aren’t you glad I introduced you to @weightwhat?

@TheMikeEllis Now see…if you were a fan of Seinfeld, your response would have been “Oh, it be…”

@TheMikeEllis You never watched Seinfeld? That can’t be! (in reply to TheMikeEllis I’m so unhip. I never watched it.)

@TheMikeEllis Is that anything like The Maestro on Seinfeld? (in reply to TheMikeEllis Prince changed his name. So did I. @MarketerMikeE is now @TheMikeEllis)

@marni71 @CandySteele @buzzbyannies Can I get an Amen? http://plixi.com/p/52212398

My thoughts exactly http://plixi.com/p/52194311

At the girly Ace Hardware store. Some pretty creative Christmas trees here. http://plixi.com/p/52193371

@billycoffey Thanks. Don’t you have some ironing boards and grapes to deliver? (in reply to billycoffey @katdish Well, good luck with all THAT.)

Today’s agenda: Buy 3 birthday gifts & help hubby de-mold boat seats. I know, glamorous, no?

@fatcatdaddy Like I’m gonna go digging thru my neighbor’s crap… (in reply to fatcatdaddy @katdish hey I need some props for Halloween if you see something I can turn into a fighter pilot helmet let me…)

@weightwhat I live in Nebraska. (in reply to weightwhat @katdish Where is your neighborhood again? I was thinking about getting you some ceramic clowns for Christmas & I’m sure someone’s sellin’.)

@weightwhat No, but I’ve got my pressure washer set up in case any of them try to come up my driveway. (in reply to weightwhat @katdish Got your fanny pack and small bills ready?)

My entire neighborhood is having a garage sale. I’m in second hand crap hell.

Only 2 copies of #SnowDayBook by @billycoffey on Amazon http://amzn.to/boa0DG Today’s special: Buy 1, get 1 for the same price.

“You know, son – a giant bowl of potato chips is not what I would consider a healthy after school snack.” #thingsIshouldnothavetosay

@kelybreez Who apparently all have the day off. (in reply to kelybreez @katdish “Violent protests in France against changing retirement age from 59 to 62.” That’s a lot of furious 59 year olds!)

Violent protests in France against changing the retirement age from 60 to 62? Seriously?

Caller ID is wonderful. Who knew there were so many people I didn’t want to talk to?

Here’s 4 seconds of your life you’ll never get back. Sorry/you’re welcome: http://youtu.be/ApmvDU5RmyY

@pwilson Give it up NOW, Wilson! You’ve been on thin ice for some time now.

RT @pwilson Few things relax me like watering the flowers and drinking a cup of hot mango tea. Should I give you my man card now or later?

It’s your life: Live it or live in it.

@lainiegallagher I just RTed that so everyone could see how ridiculous you are.

RT @lainiegallagher @mattiehopper If Lance Berkman were in the center of God’s will, he’d be a Ranger. I’ll pray for that one. @katdish

@lainiegallagher Who died and made you queen of Texas? (in reply to lainiegallagher @mattiehopper FALSE. Once a Yankee, you’re dead to TX. (Unless you’re Pudge. Then we extend grace when you come to your senses.) @katdish)

RT @mattiehopper: @lainiegallagher @katdish a true Texan always cheers for Lance Berkman!//Amen!

@lainiegallagher Okay…that’s a pretty cool shirt. (in reply to lainiegallagher @katdish Yes. Over THERE. Not here. Yankee. http://bit.ly/aW6Jr2)

@lainiegallagher Yankee? Virginia is hardly the North, and my family has been there since b4 the Revolutionary War as well. (in reply to lainiegallagher @katdish My ancestors were here before the Revolutionary War. It’s in my BLOOD, Yankee. (And whatever. You don’t remember when I was born.)

@lainiegallagher I’ve lived here longer than you’ve lived here, because I’ve been here since before you were born (in reply to lainiegallagher @katdish Oh wait — then you’re not a Texan. You just made an easy job even easier, foreigner!)

RT @beckfromfrogandtoad “What happened? You used to be such a pretty girl.” – some old lady at the tea. Too bad I can’t barf at will.

Hey, @prodigaljohn is giving away a signed copy of Braveheart, but don’t leave a comment b/c I want to win.

Sitting here at my computer & just realized the back of my jeep is still full of Walmart bags. #easilydistracted

Seriously, y’all. That picture did not capture just how many hornets are in that thing…Or were, anyway. Mwha ha ha!

@Helenatrandom Acts of violence upon stinging insects? It’s always a good day for that. (in reply to Helenatrandom @katdish But it’s not Wednesday!)

Bird feeder full of hornets. Scuse me. I’ve got some killin’ to do. http://plixi.com/p/51630266

Just heard new music from Peter Frampton & Heart. Didn’t realize Sirius Radio had an AARP channel.

It’s been a long time since I’ve been to Walmart. But not nearly long enough.

Gotta go interface with the non-virtual world for awhile. Have a great morning,

@duane_scott And yes, she emptied it the last time.

@duane_scott In a happy marriage, it’s always your turn to empty the dishwasher.

@duane_scott Also? Your pants pockets are not tiny garbage receptacles. Clean out your pockets before you put them in the hamper.

@duane_scott Here’s my unsolicited marriage advice: Never let the sun go down on your anger. Stay up and fight

“When you combine ignorance with leverage, you get some pretty interesting results.” – Warren Buffet

@kelybreez Dang it. I was about to tweet your phone number. (in reply to kelybreez
@katdish I think she means she just HAD a phone conversation… Don’t want everyone calling me all of a sudden!)

PB&J: It’s what for lunch.

Just have a great phone conversation with @kelybreez. Y’all should follow him. And stay tuned.

Son: Who won the Texans games? Me: Texans Son: How’d they do that? Me: They scored more points. (I crack myself up.)

I just got a request for me to teach yoga to a group on 2 week holiday to my country. It’s like they don’t even know me.

I really should check my spam email more often. Hilarious.

RT @RobbBailey “Facebook was created for counting how many people left to be roundhouse kicked.”

RT @badbanana To be honest, that presentation was awkward looooong before we accidentally set the client’s hair on fire.

« « Previous Post: Halloween Costumes or Prostitots in training wear? (Repost) | Next Post: Bring me to life » »