Don’t mess with Texas

Last week I mentioned I had an interesting conversation on the twitter that would have to wait until this week, and while it is not here in its entirety, I think there’s enough here that you’ll get the gist of it, which is this:
Don’t be talking smack to me about Texas.
Especially if you’ve never been here. And no, I’m not kidding. Not even a little bit. We’re proud of our state, and for good reason, just as I’m sure (I’m hoping) that you have pride in your own state. Nuff said. (Folks from Oklahoma are exempt from this rule, but we have a mutual understanding about making fun of each other’s states.)

In other news, I took a little heat for humiliating my dog, but I think he actually enjoyed being dressed like a chicken. Okay, maybe not. But I sure got a kick out of it!

And now, the best of me (or not) on the twitter this week:

@ServingStrong Very true. (in reply to ServingStrong What a profound statement for all of us to say!)

@edcyzewski Not so much, no. (in reply to edcyzewski @katdish No self esteem issues I see…

Being me has its perks.

This particular copy will be personally autographed by @billycoffey. Details on Monday at katdish.net

There have been several great giveaways for @billycoffey’s #snowdaybook so far. And I will be giving away one, too.

@tonyjalicea It’s funny and punny.

@tonyjalicea Luuuuuke! I am your fodder! (in reply to tonyjalicea Fodder is a funny word.)

@TheMikeEllis You are correct. As I have an overwhelming desire to bury turds. (in reply to TheMikeEllis @katdish doesn’t play well in sandbox)

@TheMikeEllis Thanks. And good call, as I am freakishly strong for a girl. (in reply to TheMikeEllis The Christ following chick I’d take into a bar fight is @katdish #ff)

RT @TPO_Hisself: Biden: Just because the Recovery Act was a monumental failure, does not mean that it is not a huge success.//Snort!

I’m synching my iPhone to my computer. Whatever that means.

@RachelleGardner I can live with that. (in reply to RachelleGardner @katdish Okay then, you’ be terrible at the “would you rather” game my kids like to play. 🙂 Refusing to choose is cheating!)

@RachelleGardner I don’t wanna. Besides, writers should concentrate on writing & let folks like us make them famous. (in reply to RachelleGardner @katdish The point of this game is to CHOOSE! :-))

I choose both>RT @RachelleGardner: Writers — what if you had to choose between financial success or critical acclaim?

@kelybreez But there will always be a demand for a good story. Always.

@kelybreez The reality of publishing is that it is a for profit business. Marginal books sell b/c they’re written by famous people.

@sarahmsalter I’m really looking forward to old age. I’ll be that crazy old lady at family gatherings that everyone just smiles politely at.

@billycoffey You need to stop being sick. You’re no good to me dead.

@sarahmsalter Is your grand daddy Yogi Berra? Snort! (in reply to sarahmsalter @katdish Yep. He also said, “It’ll quit hurting when it stops.” And “always keep your tail behind you.” 🙂 #homespunwisdom)

@tonyjalicea Ha! You’re the only one. (in reply to tonyjalicea @katdish I totally retained my man card today.)

@Helenatrandom Scandalous! (in reply to Helenatrandom @katdish I had a crush on Mr. Rogers. I told a Nun I worked with about it as an adult. She was shocked, since he is a Presbyterian! SNORT)

@CandySteele Not that there’s anything wrong with that…

@CandySteele Do you know what’s more annoying that Happy Meal toys? Adults who collect them & sell them on ebay.

@MichaelDPerkins Thanks Michael. You’re being awfully nice today. Do you owe me money? (in reply to MichaelDPerkins If you want to learn how to write better then start reading @gyoung9751 @katdish @gritandglory All are ridiculously good.)

@kelybreez I would, but it’s already sopping wet with your man-tears (in reply to kelybreez I use my man card to wipe my tears.)

@br8kthru Yeah. And some serious man-card violations. (in reply to br8kthru @katdish I know! Lots of eye-opening comments though. :))

@br8kthru You’re welcome. Who knew your post would be such a cry fest?

@jewda4 Yeah, way to kick a kid when he’s down. (in reply to jewda4 @katdish yeah, and that cuts deep. I don’t live there, and I’m hurting for my fellow fatties.)

So, basically they’re saying, “Hey fat kid! No toys for you!”

Deep, breathy sigh…SF area McDonalds may disallow toys in Happy Meals if fat & calorie counts are too high to help curb childhood obesity.

RT @br8kthru: Top 5 Cartoon Criers- go ahead & weigh in w/ your thoughts! http://ow.ly/1rox4Z//Yes. @dlrayburn broke spades w/Barbie

Is it just me, or is Chris Matthews of MSNBC a grumpy ho?

@TheMikeEllis Nah. If you give me any trouble I’ll send the @billycoffey mafia after you. Great to talk to you. (in reply to TheMikeEllis I feel very important. I just got off the phone with @katdish She is currently changing her number.)

End of mini rant.

The government needs to get the hell out of the way and let people work without getting taxed out of business.

I guess my main disagreement with current leadership is their belief that the government needs to create jobs.

And since when do snowman have teeth? What kind of nightmare decor company comes up w/this stuff? http://plixi.com/p/54613868

GAAA! Scary elf. http://plixi.com/p/54613621

Aaaand done. Except for stapling the top, which somebody else can do. http://plixi.com/p/54605660

@Helenatrandom Of course. (in reply to Helenatrandom @katdish HEY!! I saw a cute little Alice in Wonderland teapot in their flyer that I was thinking of getting.. (but only if it is functional)

@weightwhat you have my Chicago address, right? C/O @Helenatrandom? (in reply to weightwhat @katdish I went to Tuesday Morning today. Saw lots of crap. Be expecting a large package soon.)

Stock up and save! This one’s on clearance. Can’t imagine why it didn’t sell. http://plixi.com/p/54593816

@weightwhat why didn’t I think of that? You should be my wingman in Houston traffic. (in reply to weightwhat @katdish Maybe you should have just parked on top of them.)

This is Texas. Get a gas guzzling SUV for crying out loud.

Silly little matchbox cars. They should make them park 2 to a space. I thought I had a parking space twice, but I just couldn’t see them.

The non virtual world needs me. TTFN.

@CandySteele Or blue? http://yfrog.com/4pfqvj

@CandySteele What about green? http://yfrog.com/50z86fj

@CandySteele Oh-Em-Gee. Check this out: http://yfrog.com/bcb3jwj I stripped that paper for a client last year. Same monster flower family.

(in reply to CandySteele @katdish This paper was the rage..in it’s day. Yes, rugly. No other colors http://twitpic.com/338b55 http://twitpic.com/338bcu #shutup)

@billycoffey Snort! (in reply to billycoffey @katdish You’re awful.)

@billycoffey HA! You said duty… (in reply to billycoffey Good morning, folks. Don’t forget to vote today. It’s not just a duty, it’s a privilege.)

Just woke up from a 14 hour Benedryl induced nap. Good morning!

Can a person sneeze to death? Is that possible?

@mabeswife I’ve sneezed approx 100 times this morning. Stupid weather.

Candy inspection time. I must remove all questionable treats & those I happen to really like http://plixi.com/p/54359157

@CandySteele I’m thinking taco. (in reply to CandySteele @katdish Did Buddy Love get his dignity back? Next year you may as well make him a green pig totally shatter his ego.)

@weightwhat Nah. He LOVES that costume. Can’t you tell? (in reply to weightwhat @katdish Did you find poo in your shoes this morning?)

@muchl8r Yes. Also? He’s a dog. (in reply to muchl8r @katdish I want to feel bad for your dog, but people do that to their kids, too so whatever)

@SBeeCreations Had to take him inside. The barking chicken was scaring the little kids.

@TheMikeEllis Hey. You’re not the boss of me. (in reply to TheMikeEllis @katdish hey hush up.)

@LizFentonDecker Ooo! You know what? If he comes back, I’m giving him a rock! (in reply to LizFentonDecker ‘All I got was a rock!’)

@kelybreez Yes. Hush, hush. Voices carry. Story of my life. (in reply to kelybreez @katdish Voices Carry. Anyone remember that song by Til Tuesday?)

Accepting his fate http://plixi.com/p/54209027

Per @CandySteele’s request http://plixi.com/p/54207027

@CandySteele flip flops, jeans and a black shirt. I’m going subtle. (in reply to CandySteele @katdish Whatchya wearing?)

But come on–a 50 something bald guy dressed as Charlie Brown? That’s funny right there.

Just been told I need to keep my costume editorials myself because apparently, my voice carries.

Sitting on the driveway waiting on the onslaught of trick or treaters.

@mayaREguru Oh, ponies are okay. (in reply to mayaREguru @katdish what if I send you a pony? :D)

If you send me ad links you will be reported as spam. Have a nice day.

“Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than speak out and remove all doubt.” ~ Abraham Lincoln

@Helenatrandom That’s what I was thinking! (in reply to Helenatrandom @katdish Perfect! A snuggie to match my undies!)

@weightwhat No snuggie for me, but I think I found one for @Helenatrandom http://plixi.com/p/53813451

@duane_scott Yes. I’m sure your 100 lb. bag was way over the limit. (in reply to duane_scott @katdish yes. I’m sure. I once tried to go to TEXAS, but I didn’t arrive at the border with a 50 lb. bag of ego so I was sent back.)

@duane_scott Now see, if you had spent any time in Texas you would know that it is awesome. (in reply to duane_scott @katdish I’m learning new stuff everyday. My sister and her husband are moving to Texas. #justrealizediwillhavetovisit #suckstobeme)

@redclaydiaries Or something like that… (in reply to redclaydiaries @katdish I think he must have small-state syndrome. @duane_scott)

@duane_scott What do you know about Texas? (in reply to duane_scott @CandySteele so I can “train” my phone to capitalize texas? I may do it for @katdish for her Christmas present.)

@duane_scott How very thoughtful to get something for yourself for me for Christmas. (in reply to duane_scott @CandySteele so I can “train” my phone to capitalize texas? I may do it for @katdish for her Christmas present.)

@redclaydiaries Why yes. I think you did. (in reply to redclaydiaries @katdish Thank you! Did I get here in time for Pick on @duane_scott Time?)

@Learell It’s truly a gift to be easily amused. (in reply to Learell @katdish yes. Cheetoes for sure. (phone just attempted to correct that to cherries and I laughed. It’s late)

RT @redclaydiaries: @duane_scott “It’s” educational system? I think your google dictionary needs to review possessives.//Snort!

@duane_scott I beg your pardon. My kids go to one the highest rated districts in the country. (in reply to duane_scott @katdish it will be the google dictionary on my phone that doesn’t capitalize texas because obviously, it’s education system is too poor.)

@duane_scott Would that be the one written in crayon where you don’t capitalize “Texas”? (in reply to duane_scott @katdish I’m with @lainiegallagher. “Irregardless” is not a word. I will bring my dictionary to texas. @kelybreez)

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13 Responses to “Don’t mess with Texas”

  1. okiewife November 5, 2010 at 10:17 pm #

    My Friday is now complete, these conversations crack me up. I’ll go to bed snickering. Oh, and if Buddy Love runs away from home, he can come here.

  2. Maureen November 5, 2010 at 10:37 pm #

    Northern Virginia (it’s separate from the rest of the state, just ask Billy) would never tolerate toothy snow people.

  3. jake November 6, 2010 at 12:51 am #

    Kathy, how on earth do you find all these ridiculous displays? Is that a Texas thing? Also,

    “You should be my wingman in Houston traffic.”

    I may have to write that one down, I have so many jokes to say about that one…. I love it.

  4. Tony Alicea November 6, 2010 at 9:31 am #

    Exceptional week!

  5. Lainie Gallagher November 6, 2010 at 11:08 am #

    I had no idea that the “irregardless” comment came on the tail end of such blasphemy! Irregardless is NOT a word, which I clearly learned in the great educational system of TEXAS.

    Long live the Republic!

  6. Alex Marestaing November 6, 2010 at 2:34 pm #

    Seriously, writing all those Tweets must have taken you forever. As for Texas,seems like you guys are doing better than the rest of us these days, especially better than California, HELP!. Enjoy the weekend.

    • katdish November 6, 2010 at 2:40 pm #

      California is truly one of the most beautiful places I’ve ever visited. It’s such a shame it’s in such a financial mess.

  7. Wendy November 6, 2010 at 4:00 pm #

    If I build a snowman this year, I’m totally giving it teeth. Maybe even vampire fangs. Sparkly ones.

  8. Steph November 6, 2010 at 9:37 pm #

    GAAA. We had the monster flower wallpaper in our last house (NOT our choice). We had to move away to escape it.

  9. Michael November 6, 2010 at 11:40 pm #

    I was nice because you deserved it. Don’t worry though…I won’t telly anyone. 🙂

  10. Helen November 7, 2010 at 1:24 pm #

    I think I like the pics you took of Buddy last year better. I just love the one you titled “Quiet Diginity”. That’s how I always think of him in my head when you tweet about him.

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