Christmas sweaters: A PSA

Yesterday, I posted the following tweet:

I’m going to write a post tomorrow that needs to be written. It may offend some people, but I’ve got to take a stand.

About most things, I am willing to speak out, but on this particular subject I felt the damage might be too great; the cost too high. But then I received the following reply from @peacegardenmama:

“Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter.” – Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., 1929-1968

Thank you, Roxane. Your tweet gave me the courage to finally end my silence; to speak out against what might be the greatest abomination of the Christmas season.

I’m talking about, of course…

The holiday sweater:

First introduced as a form of seasonal birth control in communist China, they soon made their way across the Pacific to Europe and the New World. But this still does not answer the question of why, in a country where its citizens have the freedom to wear anything they choose, people would voluntarily wear one of these things.

At first, the blight of the holiday sweater was only observed in the weakest of our society–those not in a position to make sound, educated decisions about their wardrobe choices. I speak, of course, of the very young:

and the elderly:

So what of the rest of society? I have a theory:

Having worked in the fashion industry for several years (and by “having worked in the fashion industry” I mean “I worked in the Junior Department of a local department store”), I know that home interior trends tend to follow clothing fashion trends. Don’t believe me? Here’s proof:

From the runways and red carpets of one fashion season:

To the trendy, overpriced furniture stores the following season:

I think it’s important to remember that this is a one way street. Clothing fashions can trend to home fashions, but when you try to flip this trend, the results are often disastrous:

As a Christian, I find it disheartening that Christ followers seem particularly vulnerable to the mysterious allure of the holiday sweater.

Attend any Women’s Ministry Christmas Tea, luncheon or cookie exchange, and I dare you to swing a wiffle bat without hitting an attendee NOT wearing a holiday sweater.

I think this particular phenomenon can be traced back to a misinterpretation of scripture. The Bible speaks of the Holy Spirit dwelling within you and treating your body as a holy temple. Perhaps in later translations it states, “the Holy Spirit shall come to dwell on your person. Maybe you should provide a comfy chair and a big picture window with a cat sitting in it.”

(Of course, this is pure conjecture on my part as I don’t own a copy of the New Living Translation Bible.)

I know I have focused on women’s holiday sweaters in this post, but in conclusion I want to urge men, women and children alike to think long and hard before the Christmas card photo this year. One hundred years from now, is this how you want to be remembered by future generations?

No, I didn’t think so…

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68 Responses to “Christmas sweaters: A PSA”

  1. @kelybreez December 10, 2010 at 6:18 pm #

    Please to answer a couple of queries…

    1) Does this holiday ban extend to socks with lights on the toes?

    2) … Hats that fit fully over my (I mean other people’s) face and have a Rudolph nose?

    3) Crocheted shorts with mistletoe hanging from the seat?

  2. Lizzie December 10, 2010 at 6:53 pm #

    Hehe, super funny! Found you via V.V. Denman.

  3. Yael Levin December 11, 2010 at 5:35 am #

    I have a theory. I think these abominable outfits serve to hide the holiday bump (not talking pregnancy here). We see someone wearing one of these getups and we inadvertantly look away. It’s like a reflex. You don’t want someone to notice you’ve gained some weight around the middle – don a hideous reindeer sweater with extra snowflakes on the side. Better yet, one with an actual 3D (very in this season!) Santa head or tree. They’ll be looking anywhere but your gut. Thankfully, the reindeer, Santas and snowflakes disappear once people manage to fit into their regular clothes. Hey, it might be an abomination, but at least we can enjoy our holiday meal(s)!

  4. Jeff December 12, 2010 at 7:42 pm #

    Maybe this video will help you feel better about the whole thing.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bmLL9MG9HwQ

    • katdish December 12, 2010 at 8:08 pm #

      Ha! Awesome.

  5. Michelle DeRusha December 13, 2010 at 9:24 am #

    This one made me laugh. Now if only I had the courage to send it to my mother…

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