Christmas sweater sightings & other disturbing images

Write one little blog post about ugly Christmas sweaters, and tweets and twitpics of ugly Christmas sweaters begin to cover the tweetdeck like cougar moms at a Twilight movie premiere. As many sweater tweets as there are in the following update, that’s not even all of them. In other news, the magic of Festivus is in the air!

The best of me (or not) on the twitter this week:

My daughter just asked Santa to give whatever he was going to bring her to a poor family. Sniff, sniff #proudmama

@tonyjalicea And he sits on a throne of lies! (in reply to tonyjalicea @katdish That’s not Santa! He smells like beef & cheese!)

Who says there's no such thing as Santa?

One politically correct “winter” party down, one Girl Scout Christmas party to go!

Blogger still loading…..

I want to get @helenatrandom a wordpress website for Christmas

@weightwhat No. If it was a taxidermied dog head, then yes. (in reply to weightwhat @katdish That looks like it belongs in the house where your daughter goes for Girl Scouts.)

This would make a perfect gift for someone. Who? I have no idea...

Headed to Hobby Lobby. Because I’m a glutton for punishment.

@beckfromfrogandtoad Your kids have a flair for the dramatic. Wonder where that comes from? (in reply to beckfromfrogandtoad The Baby has a cold & is handling it in her usual understated fashion. “My nose hurts,” she just said. “Take me to the hospital.”)

He also thought the song was about Malcolm X. Which, upon reflection is disturbing on many levels.

My old boyfriend thought the lyrics to this song were "I believe in Malcolm, where ya from, you sexy thing."

Wow. That's quite the ménage right there.

@PeterPollock HA! Cyber fist bump. (in reply to PeterPollock RT @kelybreez: @katdish don’t call me a redneck. Just ’cause 5 sets of 1st cousins in my family married each other… // you can count to 5?)

@kelybreez I’m katdish. That trumps lawyer. (in reply to kelybreez @katdish Rest your case? I’m the lawyer! You can’t do that!)

@kelybreez I rest my case

RT @kelybreez: @katdish Hey, yall don’t call me a redneck. Just ’cause 5 sets of 1st cousins in my extended family married each other…

@kelybreez Oh, like people need me to tell them you’re a redneck. (in reply to kelybreez @katdish Hey, you didn’t have to retweet that comment. I don’t want people to know I’m a redneck!)

RT @kelybreez: @katdish Very perceptive of you. That’s the music my babies go to sleep with, holding a turkey neck in their little fists.

@kelybreez @dlrayburn So weird…I’m reading your tweets, and in the background I swear I hear banjo music.

@dlrayburn Maybe she’s a sweater… (in reply to dlrayburn @katdish 2 questions came to mind. What happened to safe search and does that really qualify as a sweater?)

@dlrayburn Um…yeah. (in reply to dlrayburn @katdish You’ve seen it too I take it.)

@dlrayburn Did one of the pics involve a reindeer? (in reply to dlrayburn @katdish We were sharing other results from my googling “ugly christmas sweater”)

@dlrayburn LIAR!!! (in reply to dlrayburn RT @katdish: @kelybreez As if I own any ugly Christmas sweaters // I saw her wearing one the other day.)

@kelybreez As if I own any ugly Christmas sweaters (in reply to kelybreez @weightwhat Or we can leave @katdish to molder in her pile of ugly sweaters.)

@Helenatrandom @AmBlessedBeyond and the dang thing was 80 bucks. That won’t even cover the therapy I’m gonna need after seeing it. (in reply to Helenatrandom @katdish unBELIEVEably!)

Okay, this is just frightening

Okay, disregard previous tweet. I don’t care what your bio says, if your twitter name is @goatjerky, that’s an automatic refollow.

@muchl8r Well, there’s that. And I don’t see you wearing that sweater. (in reply to muchl8r @katdish He’s probably got a whole foot on me, but @dnbroberts just agreed with you…….. :))

Check this out, @muchl8r, he could be your long long twin RT @lesserwhirls: @kelybreez @katdish and so it begins!

@CandySteele Oh, you’d be surprised. He moves pretty fast! Snort! (in reply to CandySteele @katdish That thing would knock BuddyLoves little legs right out from under him. Or give him a concussion.)

Yeah. Me neither…

When walking your dog, have U ever let go of the handle on the retractible leash so it chases after ur dog?

RT @noveldoctor Every time I write, I fall in love with characters who don’t know I exist. Fiction is all about the unrequiteable)

@shrinkingcamel True. And I did so while eating a Blazin Buffalo Ranch Dorito. I’m a multi-tasker. (in reply to shrinkingcamel @katdish you’re no slouch, my dear. Look how fast you responded to that tweet!)

@shrinkingcamel I’m here! (in reply to shrinkingcamel Attention Overachievers: You Have Permission to Let Go: (where have all the slouches gone?)

RT @tremendousnews Ryan Reynolds & Scarlett Johansson split up just when I made the best couple name for them: Scaryan Johreynoldsson.

(in reply to @buzzbyannies @katdish Today we've had pouring rain, fog, snow and now it's blue skies and sunny. Sounds like your outfit covers all our weather.)

As a sign of solidarity for my friends in cold climates, I’m wearing a sweatshirt w/my jeans & flip flops today.

Guess who has a brother who lives in Hawaii?

RT @billycoffey: @katdish George, Festivus is your heritage – it’s part of who you are. #Festivus

“I got a lot of problems w/you people! And now you’re gonna hear about it. You, Krugar. My son tells me your company stinks!” #Festivus

“At the Festivus dinner, U gather your family around U & tell them all the ways they have disappointed U over the past year.” #Festivus

“A Festivus for the rest of us!” #Festivus

“As I rained blows upon him, I knew there had to be another way…out of that a new holiday was born.” #Festivus

“Many Christmases ago, I went to buy a doll for my son. I went to reach for the last one they had, but so did another man…” #Festivus

RT @LizFentonDecker: RT @billycoffey @katdish Happy Festivus! – ‘Go get the pole from the crawl space George’

@billycoffey Then, on to the feats of strength.

@billycoffey You too. I’m composing a personal email to you listing all the ways you’ve disappointed me this year.(in reply to billycoffey @katdish Happy Festivus!)

@billycoffey And Merry Christmas!

@billycoffey Oh, shut up. (in reply to billycoffey @katdish Good morning, Grinch.)

Clearly not...

Bah humbug…

And FYI? Camel farts are as bad as you might imagine they'd be

Just returned from Journey to Bethlehem. Walking tour w/costumes and live animals.

This goes out to @redclaydiaries, because I know how much she loves shadow Joseph and Mary.

@Helenatrandom I’ve missed you!

@Helenatrandom HELEN!!!!!!!

@dhilliard74 Sweet Fancy Moses! (in reply to dhilliard74 @katdish is this what you were talking about? RT "@Marshmellow84: The hubby getting in the holiday spirit 🙂

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13 Responses to “Christmas sweater sightings & other disturbing images”

  1. Tony Alicea December 17, 2010 at 8:14 am #

    Ohmydang. I don’t even want to know about the camel fart! And that dog bust was just bizzaro. I refuse to comment again on santamonkey. *shudder

    Man, this just made my morning.

  2. Sandra Heska King December 17, 2010 at 9:35 am #

    You make me think. You make me laugh. Sometimes you even make me cry. I just plain love you. In fact, I’m going to wear my Christmas sweatshirt today, and every time I jingle I’ll say a prayer for you! 😉

  3. Preston December 17, 2010 at 9:40 am #

    “I am no rocket surgeon” will be my new tag line. That is pure awesomeness.

  4. Candy December 17, 2010 at 9:45 am #

    That bird in the dogs mouth – was it going down or coming up? Man, poor pups jaw has gotta be sore. And how did @dhilliard74 find you? He lives HERE!! (nice sweatshirt, Daniel. or not)

    • katdish December 17, 2010 at 9:48 am #

      Well, obviously he found me through you. Duh…

  5. A Simple Country Girl December 17, 2010 at 10:55 am #

    maybe we can lock the camel and the ba-aaad monkey dude in an airtight room together.

    see how that curls your toenails, ba-aaad monkey!

    (even though i don’t twitter, can i still say stuff here? and is it saturday already? me confused)


    • katdish December 17, 2010 at 11:36 am #

      Darlene, I moved the twitter update to Friday for this month. Taking Saturdays off for awhile. And of course you can say stuff here!

      • A Simple Country Girl December 17, 2010 at 11:56 am #

        Oh, good to hear it’s still Friday. I thought maybe I slept through the “sleigh ride” caroling scheduled for tonight. My husband is driving the Dodge and the congregation is sitting atop straw bales and singing as he steers us through a tiny, rural town. There are a couple of steep driveways in town! I have this fear of being lurched off a bale and face-planting in the road. I thought maybe it already happened and I had suffered some short term memory loss.

        I saw a ginormous red coffee mug with Betty Boop sitting on the handle. Does something like that float yer boat? (I’m bringing my camera next time)


  6. Jason December 17, 2010 at 11:14 am #

    I can’t believe that leash can control the power of the weenie dog.

  7. Dusty Rayburn December 17, 2010 at 1:11 pm #

    This post is like watching my week in rewind. It really messes with my dyslexia.

  8. kelybreez December 17, 2010 at 1:48 pm #

    Sometimes words just fail me.

  9. Helen December 17, 2010 at 4:30 pm #

    I always liked the ring of “nuclear psychiatrist” rather than “rocket surgeon”, but to each there own….

  10. Michael December 28, 2010 at 11:04 pm #

    FYI: You’ve been missed. I wanted to show you the card I had photoshopped for my wife for Christmas.

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