The 12 Days of Christmas (via Amazon.com)

Twitter pal Karin Kysilka (aka @kysilka)asked me if I would be interested in participating in a blog challenge hosted by Juliette Terzieff centered around the theme of “My version of the 12 days of Christmas”. Of course I said yes, because I am agreeable and nice like that. Besides, that was DAYS ago and I had OODLES of time to come up with something, right? Right. When I finally got around to thinking about my version of the 12 days of Christmas, it just stressed me out because I realized that I DON’T EVEN HAVE 12 DAYS LEFT BEFORE CHRISTMAS. But I digress…

I thought about taking the route of what all that crap might cost nowadays, but that’s been done to death. In case you’re interested, according to the LA Times,

“Buying the 364 items repeated in all the song’s verses — from 12 drummers drumming to a partridge in a pear tree — would cost $96,824, an increase of 10.8% over last year, according to the annual Christmas price index compiled by PNC Wealth Management.

So you might want to try for just one of everything. That would cost $23,439, or 9.2% more than last year.”

I don’t know about you, but I just don’t have that kind of cash lying around. But even in these tough economic times, everyone knows how much you spend on a person is in direct relation to how much you love them. With this in mind, I set out to investigate how much an economy version of all these items might cost. My first stop was The Overpriced Crap that Nobody Really Needs boutique. We have several locations in the area. This particular store was jam packed with holiday decor, including one item that so deeply disturbed me that I fear I may have nightmares for the rest of my life. Gentle reader, I give you…

Santa Monkey

Or maybe it’s a monkey wise man. Does it really matter? Truly disturbing. But again, I digress…

The sales associate was quite helpful. She lead me to one of the fancy Christmas trees in the store with a plethora of overpriced ornaments. The store carried a series of “12 Days of Christmas” ornaments. Unfortunately, all they had left was a partridge in a pear tree for $40.00. But since I’m resourceful and whatnot, I noted the manufacturer of said ornaments, came back home and googled it. Jackpot.

Ladies and gentlemen, with only days before Christmas, I have done all the work for you. Not only have I found the 12 Days of Christmas ornaments for you, I have also linked the Amazon page where you may purchase them for your true love. I know. You’re welcome…


One partridge in a pear tree $35.00


Two turtle doves $35.00


Three French hens $39.99


Four calling birds $39.99


Five golden rings $25.00


Six geese a laying $40.00


Seven swans a swimming $40.00


Eight maids a milking $40.00


Nine drummers drumming $25.00


Ten pipers piping $39.99


Eleven ladies dancing $39.99


Twelve lords a leaping $39.99

For a grand total of $439.95 (plus shipping and handling)

Happy Shopping and Merry Christmas!

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21 Responses to “The 12 Days of Christmas (via Amazon.com)”

  1. Su December 16, 2010 at 8:31 am #

    Those are brilliant. I think the “maids” standing on the cow instead of milking are probably my favourite. 🙂 But I’ve always thought the drummers drumming and the ladies dancing were the other way around? Eleventh and ninth?

    • katdish December 16, 2010 at 8:35 am #

      Hmmm…perhaps you’re right. I pretty much mumble thru everything except 2 turtle doves, 5 golden rings and the patridge. I’ll double check.

  2. Tony Alicea December 16, 2010 at 8:59 am #

    “Presents are the best way to show someone you care. It is like this tangible thing that you can point to and say, Hey man, I love you this many dollars worth.” ~Michael Scott

  3. Candy December 16, 2010 at 9:08 am #

    I have an issue with those eight maids-a-milking too. We respect our cows more than that around these parts. We milk ’em right, then kill ’em. Oh, and wear ’em, too.

    And I think the nine drummers drumming look like they’re having a séance.

    For my 12 days I’m going for the 12 Bob’s candy canes at Walmart for 88 cents a box, but thanks for your lovely offer.

  4. SarahBee December 16, 2010 at 9:15 am #

    You have plenty of time because the 12 Days of Christmas are the twelve days after Christmas wherein the the wise men traveled to find the Babe, not the twelve days leading to Christmas. 🙂
    That monkey is truly disturbing and heinous.

  5. Nick the Geek December 16, 2010 at 9:35 am #

    When I saw the comment about a monkey I rushed over expecting a good old fashioned Monkey Butt Christmas … sadly it’s just a creepy Planet of the Apes Santa.

  6. A Simple Country Girl December 16, 2010 at 9:49 am #

    Oh my, this is truly disturbing.

    I think that monkey dude is drooling. He is gonna eat the 12 Days of Christmas characters and come knocking on our doors at night. He is ba-aad and belongs with the clowns. Far, far away, locked in a vault.

    A couple of comments:
    – french hens: I am glad they are not kissing.
    – drummers: Why are they naked? And see their heads? That monkey tried to suck them up a straw.
    – pipers: What’s with the bent elbows looking all Dolly Parton-ish?

    I am so glad I haven’t eaten breakfast yet.

    Blessings.

    • A Simple Country Girl December 16, 2010 at 9:53 am #

      My bad, those drummers are not naked (yes, I enlarged the image). They are wearing funky boots and stripey socks.

  7. okiewife December 16, 2010 at 10:03 am #

    That cow is wearing red and white striped socks. My cow is so much more sophisticated-she is wearing red high heels. Perhaps this one is a redneck cow? Thanks for the smiles Kathy.

  8. jasonS December 16, 2010 at 12:08 pm #

    That monkey is creepy. I don’t think it’s Santa, but it has a look in his eyes that says “I despise you and I’m looking for an opportunity to strike.” I think you should have destroyed it in the store and claimed self-defense. 🙂

    • jasonS December 16, 2010 at 12:09 pm #

      PS the ‘drummers drumming’ sort of look like KKK members. Just sayin’.

    • katdish December 16, 2010 at 12:15 pm #

      Okay. The monkey comment made me bust out laughing in Hobby Lobby. Thanks for that.

  9. Helen December 16, 2010 at 12:35 pm #

    Wait…. so you think that the song means that at the end of 12 days she had 12 partridges in a pear tree, 22 calling birds, 30 french hens….. I was afraid of that and kind of hoping that we weren’t dealing with multiples, but with a relisting of the things that came on the days before…. What a mess that must have been!

    I think monkey Santa should be removed from this site so that children don’t see it and have nightmares! (That’s right, I had no problem with children seeing PCB, but I do have a problem with them seeing monkey Santa)

  10. Maureen December 16, 2010 at 2:43 pm #

    I was so waiting for this post!

    Hilarious.

  11. kelybreez December 16, 2010 at 2:56 pm #

    I actually sleep with a Santa monkey exactly like that on Christmas Eve night. It’s a plan we have as a couple, so that when the kids run into our room on Christmas morning they no longer want to believe in Santa.

    Ever.

  12. Cheryl Smith December 16, 2010 at 3:37 pm #

    Funny!

    Reminds me of my friend’s post about creepy Santas. That monkey is off the creepometer scale!

  13. kristinherdy December 16, 2010 at 3:58 pm #

    You should put a warning label on this one, because it’s Scaaaaaary.

    I never understood why anyone would want Lords a Leapin’ for Christmas anyway. What good do jumping nobles do for me, anyway?

    Also, if my reaction to Salvation Army bell ringers is any indication, the drummers drumming would have to be returned, too.

  14. Hazel Moon December 16, 2010 at 7:05 pm #

    A delightful Post as always! I must hurry if I want to purchase all those sets of 12 day toys! Loved your research!

  15. Juliette December 17, 2010 at 11:27 am #

    This is awesome!

    Thank you so much for participating … versus running away screaming ….

    xoxoxox

    ~ J

  16. Karin Kysilka December 17, 2010 at 1:14 pm #

    I LOVE THIS!!!!!

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