The 12 Days of Christmas (via

Twitter pal Karin Kysilka (aka @kysilka)asked me if I would be interested in participating in a blog challenge hosted by Juliette Terzieff centered around the theme of “My version of the 12 days of Christmas”. Of course I said yes, because I am agreeable and nice like that. Besides, that was DAYS ago and I had OODLES of time to come up with something, right? Right. When I finally got around to thinking about my version of the 12 days of Christmas, it just stressed me out because I realized that I DON’T EVEN HAVE 12 DAYS LEFT BEFORE CHRISTMAS. But I digress…

I thought about taking the route of what all that crap might cost nowadays, but that’s been done to death. In case you’re interested, according to the LA Times,

“Buying the 364 items repeated in all the song’s verses — from 12 drummers drumming to a partridge in a pear tree — would cost $96,824, an increase of 10.8% over last year, according to the annual Christmas price index compiled by PNC Wealth Management.

So you might want to try for just one of everything. That would cost $23,439, or 9.2% more than last year.”

I don’t know about you, but I just don’t have that kind of cash lying around. But even in these tough economic times, everyone knows how much you spend on a person is in direct relation to how much you love them. With this in mind, I set out to investigate how much an economy version of all these items might cost. My first stop was The Overpriced Crap that Nobody Really Needs boutique. We have several locations in the area. This particular store was jam packed with holiday decor, including one item that so deeply disturbed me that I fear I may have nightmares for the rest of my life. Gentle reader, I give you…

Santa Monkey

Or maybe it’s a monkey wise man. Does it really matter? Truly disturbing. But again, I digress…

The sales associate was quite helpful. She lead me to one of the fancy Christmas trees in the store with a plethora of overpriced ornaments. The store carried a series of “12 Days of Christmas” ornaments. Unfortunately, all they had left was a partridge in a pear tree for $40.00. But since I’m resourceful and whatnot, I noted the manufacturer of said ornaments, came back home and googled it. Jackpot.

Ladies and gentlemen, with only days before Christmas, I have done all the work for you. Not only have I found the 12 Days of Christmas ornaments for you, I have also linked the Amazon page where you may purchase them for your true love. I know. You’re welcome…

One partridge in a pear tree $35.00

Two turtle doves $35.00

Three French hens $39.99

Four calling birds $39.99

Five golden rings $25.00

Six geese a laying $40.00

Seven swans a swimming $40.00

Eight maids a milking $40.00

Nine drummers drumming $25.00

Ten pipers piping $39.99

Eleven ladies dancing $39.99

Twelve lords a leaping $39.99

For a grand total of $439.95 (plus shipping and handling)

Happy Shopping and Merry Christmas!

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