Warning: random vacation photos ahead

Since I was unable to post my usual twitter update last week, this is a very edited (believe or not) of 2 weeks worth of tweets, much of it consisting of my 9 hour car ride from Texas to Alabama. It probably won’t take you 9 hours to read. It will just seem that way. (As always, there in backwards order. So if you want them to make sense, read from the bottom to the top. Okay, they still probably won’t make much sense…)

And now the best of me (or not) on the twitter for the past 2 weeks:

Okay, people. I’m off to read a book about writing which will specifically point to all the ways what I wrote yesterday was garbage.

@karenzach Ugh. So long self-esteem! It’s been fun. (in reply to karenzach @katdish That dog is out now. They’ll be no leashing her.)

@JCWert Yes, please. I think I’ve been feeling entirely too good about myself. (in reply to JCWert @katdish That’s why I’m here. 🙂 Shall I comment on something else? Your hair perhaps?)

@karenzach Sigh…so it was always there, I just needed to release it? Bummer. (in reply to karenzach @katdish No. The insecurity comes first. That’s why you write.)

@JCWert Gee, Thanks, Jason. That makes me feel so much better. (in reply to JCWert @katdish It’s just you.)

Does consistent writing make you insecure, or is it just me?

Wrote over 1000 words yesterday. Just read them again & I’m wondering what I was thinking. Ugh!

RT @TheMikeEllis Hug the hopeless. Love the lonely. Treasure the terminal. Forgive the fallen. Encourage the empty

Son: Oh, I have breakfast there too. Me: So what you eat here is pre-breakfast? No more breakfast at school. Sheesh

Me: Your lunch account us empty. What are you eating for lunch? Son: Just the regular lunch. Me: Then where’s all the money I just put in?

@redclaydiaries I’m building the neck stabbing. (in reply to redclaydiaries @katdish Not stabbed in the neck? I’m surprised at you.)

@ExpeditionNovel You are so wise, Richard. Or a really good guesser. (in reply to ExpeditionNovel @katdish My guess would have been over 1007 but less than 1009.)

But I’ve got the beginnings of a story. I think it’s a good one. Someone gets punched in the jaw in the 1st chapter. FTW!

Okay, I’ll tell you. 1008. I’m pretty pleased with that. Even though I’m going to rewrite everything I wrote because I don’t like it.

@pauharri Ten???? Hmph

Guess how many words I wrote today? Go ahead, guess…

@anahid02 Clearly you THINK you like them. You’re just remembering wrong. (in reply to anahid02 @katdish I actually like Cadbury Creme Eggs…haven’t had any in a long time though.)

Seriously, what IS that stuff in the middle? It’s horrible.

So, since I have so much influence in these categories, I would just like to say, Cadbury Creme Eggs are disgusting.

Just checked my klout score. The topics I influence are: writing, publishing, authors, novels & Cadbury Creme Eggs

Beautiness – yet another new word I learned today. Spam comments are so educational.

At night all those inflatable Christmas decorations may look like a winter wonderland, but by day you just have a bunch of crap in your yard

Tomorrow, I’ll be posting a story of 2 blue herons & the political ramifications of said birds. Yeah, perhaps I need to get back on my meds

@tonyjalicea Now see? I knew you would get that reference! (in reply to tonyjalicea @katdish Stuart Smalley! #dailyaffirmation)

@tonyjalicea You’re good enough, you’re smart enough, and gosh darn it! People like you! (in reply to tonyjalicea Sometimes I think I’m my biggest fan. I’m okay with that.)

Because I’d hate to think I squeezed into my jeep for nothing http://plixi.com/p/60325475

I hope this person had plenty of room to get out of their car http://plixi.com/p/60325329

I wonder if this involves mirrors and large binder clips. http://plixi.com/p/60324085

Behold! Whoville at night! http://plixi.com/p/60198831

My neighbors front yard. Also affectionately referred to as Whoville. http://plixi.com/p/60176767

@BigMama247 Snort! I’m gonna steal that line! (in reply to BigMama247 @katdish Oh, that’s what I’ve got on the stove too! If I call cereal for supper “whimsical” that makes it okay, right?)

I really should have planned something for dinner besides my famous Nothing Au Gratin

Is there any lower form of reality television than televising small claims court?

@tonyjalicea Snort! (in reply to tonyjalicea @katdish That would be my loaf, thank you very much!)

@tonyjalicea Someone always brings a loaf of bread. That always cracked me up. (in reply to tonyjalicea It says a lot about people’s cooking ability at work when the best food at the potluck is store bought. #nothankyou)

K-mart smart, that is. Guess I’m not k-mart smart.

“There’s smart, then there’s K-mart smart.” If someone told me I was K-mart I’m not sure I would take that as a compliment.

If by “Eco friendly” they mean “Leaves dirt on clothes”, then yes, this detergent is Eco friendly

If I played 4-square, I would give you my home address & tell you I was finally home. But why would I tell 2000+ people where I live?

They say most traffic fatalities occur within a few miles of home. Wonder if that includes homicides. #Getmeoutofthiscarnow

The nice lady we rented the beach cottage from just sent me a sweet email chock full of emoticons, clearly unaware of my emoticonophobia

@MichaelDPerkins I’m not sure anyone could rock the Christmas sweater vest, not even @br8kthru (in reply to MichaelDPerkins @katdish is it a sweater vest? If so @br8kthru may have to step up his game.)

I somehow managed to take a pic of myself upside down. My eyebrows look weird. http://plixi.com/p/59596202

@TheMikeEllis Solidarity, bro. Me too. (in reply to TheMikeEllis @katdish hey, hate me some Christmas sweaters.)

I’ll miss this http://plixi.com/p/59592135

@kyrstind I tend to cut lite up tie guy some slack, cuz his wife probably bought it for him. His wife w/the matching sweater. (in reply to kyrstind @katdish LOL A middle-aged man with a light-up reindeer tie? Totally saw one at Wal-Mart the other day. Lite up & sang. Lol)

@kyrstind Is there anything sadder than a middle aged woman with a lite up reindeer sweater? Me thinks not. (in reply to kyrstind Not only 1 who does this? YES!)

First Christmas sweater sighting of the year. Let the season of secret sweater mocking begin! Mwha-ha-ha!

@redclaydiaries snort! (in reply to redclaydiaries @katdish Steph’s not here, man.)

@redclaydiaries You malled AND decorated? Who are you & what have you done w/Steph? (in reply to redclaydiaries @katdish Yes, we malled, we ate, we decorated, we ate, we… ate… That’s about it.)

@gyoung9751 I bet you’ve read more books than I’ve had hot meals, Glynn. (in reply to gyoung9751

@PeterPollock @katdish Hey! I read War and Peace — a long time ago, yes, but I read it. Abridged and unabridged editions.)

@muchl8r But you finished it. Quite an accomplishment. I read Gone with the Wind just so I could say I read it, but I’m glad I did. (in reply to muchl8r @katdish I needed note cards to keep track of everyone, and I’ll admit that it was an entirely pretentious endeavor :))

@muchl8r I think you’re the only person I know that’s actually read War and Peace. Even though lots of folks say they have (in reply to muchl8r @katdish Kathy, I didn’t know you could score any more points in my book, but you just did. #ILOVETOLSTOY)

I love my kindle, but there’s something about an old book that draws me in. http://plixi.com/p/59396571

“The sea was angry that day, my friend.” – George Costanza (cold front coming in) http://plixi.com/p/59306017

Good morning! Who’s ready for Black Friday? Or what I like to call “losing your faith in humanity”.

Said pajama pants are B&W MC Hammer pants, BTW…

My sister is wearing pajama pants she’s had since 1985. Don’t know if I should be impressed or embarrassed. Both?

Sunset http://plixi.com/p/59143092

GAAA! http://plixi.com/p/59127359

Happy belated Thanksgiving Canada!

Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!

And if by chance I’m killed in my sleep by the drunk hillbillies next door, I want you to know I’ll miss you all!

Staying at a very quaint and secluded cottage on the bay…

Just in time to see the sunset over the bay http://plixi.com/p/58919601

Alabama! http://plixi.com/p/58903435

M-I-S-S-I-S-S-I-P-P-I http://plixi.com/p/58894538

My dog, @buddylovethedog has marked the state of Louisiana 3 times. On to Mississippi!

The mighty Mississippi http://plixi.com/p/58880958

Gator country http://plixi.com/p/58874706

Obscene amounts of Chex Mix: Don’t leave home without it. http://plixi.com/p/58870958

It’s a dog’s life. http://plixi.com/p/58859737

Hello Louisiana! It’s been awhile!

Today, I am thankful for a DVD player in the car and 2 sets of headphones

Leaving the big city behind for awhile. http://plixi.com/p/58840771

Heading east to Gulf Shores, AL this morning. Hope you all have a very wonderful Thanksgiving. I can’t wait to sink my feet in the sand!

@marni71 Chicken Soup for the Soul, Lower Back Pain. Wow, what’s next–a Chicken Soup book for the hemmorhoid sufferer?

@weightwhat He’s no Awesome Cat.

Okay, this made me laugh. http://bit.ly/fLFMk0

Dear people who send me emails, If U want me NOT to read ur email, make the subject line: MUST READ
NOW. Cuz you’re not the boss of me.

@TchrEric Oh, not just on Twitter… (in reply to TchrEric @katdish Because you are the most opinionated person on Twitter?)

@JCWert Got 2 bags of Snyder’s! What are Arnold Palmers? I assume you’re not eating the golfer. (in reply to JCWert @katdish Travel food? Arnold Palmers, Swedish Fish, Snyder’s of Hanover pretzels)

Also, I would like to give @tremendousnews credit for coining the phrase “devastating laziness”, even tho he never talks to me anymore.

@Brian_Russell Brian, you’re on probation for RTing someone else’s good morning. That’s just devastating laziness right there

Walmart greeter just said, Good morning, young lady!” Which I suppose is a relative term b/c I think he’s about 126 yrs old

Because when I’m talking to myself, I like to know I have an audience.

I’m thinking not many. Sorry, I don’t get “scheduled tweets”

I wonder how many people tweeting quotes are actually on the twitter.

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