The long awaited (or not) twitter update

Dang. I haven’t done a twitter update since December 17ish. But don’t worry, I didn’t go back that far. I’m sure I probably tweeted something brilliant that could very well solved the economic crisis and end world hunger, but I don’t feel like reading through all those tweets. I just started at January 1. As an added bonus, I’m still trying to figure out this new MacPuter of mine, so most of the conversations I used to know how to cut and paste had to be left on the cutting room floor, thereby making this update make even less sense than it normally does. Sorry/you’re welcome.

And now, the best of me (or not) on the twitter this year:

@PeterPollock You didn’t know @karenzach is an author? She’s kind of a big deal…

Very often, my writing process involves reading a well written book. Reading After the Flag has been Folded by @karenzach

Oh, wait…never mind. I don’t care what other people think. What was I thinking?

I don’t want people to think I copied someone else’s story idea.

Have you ever been working on a story idea only to find someone else just wrote about the same thing? So now what? Do I keep writing?

<——Sucking up dead fire ants with the vacuum cleaner. Jealous much?

Sort of a reddish-brown 5 #lessambitiousbands

Dear Apple Computer Company: Delete and backspace are not the same thing. Learn it. Live it.

@Helenatrandom She says, “Well how much money does dad have?”

Note to self: Cancel Pottery Barn Teen catalog.

8 YO daughter: Guess what??? I found a bedroom set I want & it’s only $3,071! (I’m trying not to laugh)

@amykiane Pesky Ass Clown.

@tonyjalicea That sounds kinda gross to me. Everyone knows you don’t mix red wine w/chocolate. Except the Dutch, apparently.

And he’s be halfway thru the box by now…

I’m pretty sure if they sold katdish voodoo dolls, @peterpollock would buy a case of them.

If your twitter profile begins with the word “Ninja” you don’t really need to include the word “Nerd”. I kinda figured that out on my own.

@awefullymade That actually sounds pretty good. Mmm….polar bear!

@HisFireFly Because writers love to be unhappy.

Theory: Writers are gluttons for punishment.

This confirms my theory>RT @billycoffey: RT @noveldoctor: Pain makes a better writing partner than Contentment. He has a bigger vocabulary.

I’m so hungry I could eat all of @BryanAllain’s “I’m so hungry” tweets.

Deer jerky: not just for breakfast anymore.

Previous tweet brought to you by @muchl8r waxing poetic about the movie Titanic.

“Jack may have mostly froze b4 Rose let him sink to the bottom of the glaciating ocean, but truthfully, he died b/c she was a selfish cow.”

@amykiane Yep. You’re not supposed to disturb the mound when you set out the poison, but I like poking them w/a stick. Makes them mad.

The ants were angry that day my friends…

My work here is done//RT @tonyjalicea: @katdish @sistersadist Haha, I feel so dumb!

@karenzach The teen angst here is palpable.

Sitting at my son’s school remembering how much I hated junior high.

I like that my frozen lean cuisine feels it necessary on the instructions to say “Remove tray from box”

RT @LizFentonDecker: The Under-Graduate #LessAmbitiousFilms

Phantom of the Oprah #LessAmbitiousFilms

West Side Toy Story #LessAmbitiousFilms

Some Like it Not #LessAmbitiousFilms

Saving Ryan Seacrest #LessAmbitiousFilms

@karenzach You know, the katdishionary term for that is “fatassitosis”

The Shiny #LessAmbitiousFilms

V for Velveeta #LessAmbitiousFilms

Raging Bullwinkle #LessAmbitiousFilms

Fried Green Tomatillos #LessAmbitiousFilms

Leaving Las Cruces #LessAmbitiousFilms

Breakfast at Zale’s #LessAmbitiousFilms

RT @RedClayDiaries Reception @LessAmbitiousFilms

The Sound of Muzak #LessAmbitiousFilms

Pulp Historical Fiction #LessAmbitiousFilms

@CandySteele Can I cash in my value? Because we just dropped a load of cash on a computer.

My Twitter value is $678.84, according to … What about yours? #twalue

@justinfalls Unless it’s Chicago deep dish pizza (in Chicago), all pizza falls into the category of “I’m too lazy to cook tonight.”

@justinfalls It was more than I could have hoped for. What do they want me to say?

We ordered pizza. It was delivered. We paid for it and then we ate pizza.

Ordered a pizza online last night. Just received an email “Tell us about your Pizza Hut experience”. Really?

There’s a big difference between knowing about God and knowing God. Knowing about him is academic Knowing him is a life long process.

I’m all about comfort before fashion, but wearing your pajamas to Eyemasters is a bit over the top.

Attack of the fire ants

@shrinkingcamel Well, I like your new avatar. But you’ve lost your status of International man of mystery.

So now I have hundreds of ants crawling around in 2 of 3 bathrooms in our house. That’s kinda special.

The fire ants are back in my house. Bug guy set traps & told me not to spray, just allow them to take the bait back to the queen.

@shrinkingcamel You changed your avatar! So, I’ve gone from wondering “what does Brad look like?” to “where’s the camel?”

RT @fishythoughts “I worry that the person who thought up Muzak may be thinking up something else.” ~Lily Tomlin

Nothing is certain except for death, taxes & Houston road construction.

I may lose weight because of my devastating laziness.

But every time I feel like eating something, I remember that I have to look it up on my iphone, so I just choose not to eat.

As part of an overall plan to be healthier this year, I downloaded an app that tracks calories (my husband has been using it for months).

Okay, seriously. Delete and backspace are not the same thing. #thingsthatbugmeaboutapplecomputers

It doesn’t help to be willing to die for love if you won’t live for it in little ways day by day by day. – @johnortberg

Son: Can I have my allowance from last week? Me: We weren’t here last week. Son: Yeah, & my room stayed clean.

It’s just a computer.

I’m enjoying my new MacBook, but I honestly don’t see why people are so hopelessly devoted to them.

It occurs to me after reading some of my spam comments that English is probably not their first language. Or even their 2nd or 3rd.

RT @fishythoughts: I just read a list of “The 100 things to do before you die”. I’m pretty surprised that ‘yell for help’ wasn’t one of them

RT @shrinkingcamel: My 18 y.o. daughter’s New Year resolution: “that 2011 won’t suck.” I like it. Covers a lot of ground.//I concur.

“Literature is strewn with the wreckage of those who have minded beyond reason the opinions of others.” – Virginia Woolf #amwriting

@lewismoats Ah, are you the originator of the Ass Clown tweet?

Then again, @CandySteele’s hashtags were quiet memorable as well…

Most memorable tweet of 2010? “Beware the Ass Clown” @RedClayDiaries

I see a lot of people using one word for 2011, so here’s mine: Strategery

Happy New Year!

And yes, we still have fire ants in our house. Thanks for asking.

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