Katdish.net

It’s February, folks! Valentine’s Day is quickly approaching. Have you thought about what you what you might get for that special someone or someones in your life?

What’s that you say?

Valentine’s Day is an invention of greedy retailers looking for yet another way to retrieve your hard earned cash?

Don’t be so jaded, so unromantic! As Michael Scott from The Office once said:

“Presents are the best way to show someone how much you care. It is like this tangible thing that you can point to and say ‘Hey man, I love you this many dollars worth.'”

And who better understands this heartfelt sentiment than our fine friends at The Skymall?

Any unimaginative cad can buy his love a dozen roses, but how many can afford enchanted roses?

Large Bohemian Vase & 12 Roses $699.99

Real roses dipped in 24K gold bring a lifetime of enchantment!
“Imagine the magical beauty of flawless long-stemmed roses hand-dipped in solid gold. Thirteen colors to choose from with 24k gold trim and solid gold stem. For those with the Midas touch, we recommend our 24K Gold Rose which is completely entombed in gold! As in nature, no two of these treasures are alike…Our large 10″ Bohemian crystal vase will complement your selection. Hand cut of Bohemian lead crystal with a 24K gold vertical band.”

Oh, sure. 700 bucks may seem a bit steep for a vase full of flowers, but I think you’d agree that “a lifetime of enchantment” is a bargain at twice that price!

Is that special someone in your life adorably competitive and argumentative? Never lets you get in the last word? Remind her of your never ending love while allowing her to argue with herself while reading the inscription on this beautiful pendant:

I love you more necklace $49.95

Exclusive I Love You More Mobius Necklace
“I Love you…I love you more…I love you…I love you more.” Start reading and you’ll return to where you began, over and over ad infinitum. A gift of never ending love, an engraved Mobius strip pendant (created by a single magical twist) hangs from a matching cable chain.

That’ll show her! (How much you love her.)

Perhaps you spent your honeymoon or a romantic vacation on a beautiful beach with the love of your life:

Personalized Beach Print $69.99

Your names in the sand.
“Personalize your passion for the beach with one of these unique prints. The beach print allows you to personalize up to 4 lines (up to 20 characters per line) allowing you to celebrate a family vacation, honeymoon, etc.”

Nothing brings back memories of those romantic days and nights at the beach than a picture of your names in the sand next to the feet of two complete strangers also at the beach! (Pirate version with optional peg-leg currently out of stock.)

There are hundreds of wonderful, romantic and thoughtful gifts for that special someone in your life available through the Skymall catalog, but this last item I consider the crown jewel of the collection.

Say you’ve been married for a few years. Those sexy, slinky negliges have been replaced by fuzzy slippers and a bulky robe. Or perhaps she’s now sporting the ever-popular Snuggie around the house? Why not just decide “if you can’t beat ’em, join ’em” with this beautiful gift made for two?

The Siamese Slanket $40.99

Imagine the romantic evenings spent together on the couch eating popcorn and watching Zumba infomercials in a snuggly Slanket made for two! And once warmer weather sets in, I bet that baby would make pretty quick work of wiping down the bass boat. Win/win!

I hope I’ve given you a few ideas for that special someone in your life. If you do decide to order one of these wonderful gifts from Skymall, tell them I sent you.

On second thought, maybe you shouldn’t mention my name. Happy shopping Lovebirds!

Maureen Doallas

I’ve often said that I don’t “get” poetry. I’ve often read it thinking that I’m just not smart enough or deep-thinking enough to understand the deeper meaning behind the words. Then I came across a blog called Writing without Paper written by Maureen Doallas. I read a few poems by her, and I felt like I thought I understood what they were saying, but I wasn’t sure. I still felt out of place. But Maureen assured me that I did understand. She made me realize that one poem can mean different things to different people. That was incredibly liberating for me, and I’m so grateful for that little gift of realization.

I am very pleased to announce that T. S. Poetry Press has published Maureen’s first book of poems, Neruda’s Memoirs: Poems, “Intimate yet restrained, Doallas’s poems are like love notes that bear grief, struggle, and history—laced with delightful surprises of wit and hope.” (From the product description on Amazon.) I can’t wait to get my hands on this book! Maureen’s poems have the ability to touch the soul of both the avid poetry reader and people like me who are still a bit intimidated by poetry and poets.

Maureen has given me permission to post one of her poems here. I’m pretty sure it was selected with me in mind, because I can completely relate to the subject matter:

Hazardous Duty: Ode to my Kitchen

I have no taste
for the violence
my kitchen demands of me

to squeeze and score
fillet and fry
flash-freeze and melt

ground grind and grill
mash whip whisk
or beat till stiff.

I conscientiously object
to chopping things to bits
when it’s enough

to simply pare away peel back
or toss and throw together
what’s simmered steamed or stewed.

But ask me for my recipes
and I’ll tell you:
not just any Bloody Mary will do.

For a sneak peak at some of the other poems in Neruda’s Memoirs, visit the Facebook Page here. I especially loved What it’s Like, a poem about the feeling of loss of a loved one.

I have decided to give away a copy of Maureen’s book of poetry. Simply leave a comment letting me know you would like to be entered in the drawing. I will select a winner at random next Thursday and contact the winner via email.

Congratulations, Maureen. You’ve been such a great source of encouragement for me and so many in the online community, and it is my hope that I can return the favor in some small way.