Shopping for love with Skymall

sky mall valentine cover It’s February, folks! Valentine’s Day is quickly approaching. Have you thought about what you what you might get for that special someone or someones in your life?

What’s that you say?

Valentine’s Day is an invention of greedy retailers looking for yet another way to retrieve your hard earned cash?

Don’t be so jaded, so unromantic! As Michael Scott from The Office once said:

“Presents are the best way to show someone how much you care. It is like this tangible thing that you can point to and say ‘Hey man, I love you this many dollars worth.'”

And who better understands this heartfelt sentiment than our fine friends at The Skymall?

Any unimaginative cad can buy his love a dozen roses, but how many can afford enchanted roses?

Large Bohemian Vase & 12 Roses $699.99

Real roses dipped in 24K gold bring a lifetime of enchantment!
“Imagine the magical beauty of flawless long-stemmed roses hand-dipped in solid gold. Thirteen colors to choose from with 24k gold trim and solid gold stem. For those with the Midas touch, we recommend our 24K Gold Rose which is completely entombed in gold! As in nature, no two of these treasures are alike…Our large 10″ Bohemian crystal vase will complement your selection. Hand cut of Bohemian lead crystal with a 24K gold vertical band.”

Oh, sure. 700 bucks may seem a bit steep for a vase full of flowers, but I think you’d agree that “a lifetime of enchantment” is a bargain at twice that price!

Is that special someone in your life adorably competitive and argumentative? Never lets you get in the last word? Remind her of your never ending love while allowing her to argue with herself while reading the inscription on this beautiful pendant:

I love you more necklace $49.95

Exclusive I Love You More Mobius Necklace
“I Love you…I love you more…I love you…I love you more.” Start reading and you’ll return to where you began, over and over ad infinitum. A gift of never ending love, an engraved Mobius strip pendant (created by a single magical twist) hangs from a matching cable chain.

That’ll show her! (How much you love her.)

Perhaps you spent your honeymoon or a romantic vacation on a beautiful beach with the love of your life:

Personalized Beach Print $69.99

Your names in the sand.
“Personalize your passion for the beach with one of these unique prints. The beach print allows you to personalize up to 4 lines (up to 20 characters per line) allowing you to celebrate a family vacation, honeymoon, etc.”

Nothing brings back memories of those romantic days and nights at the beach than a picture of your names in the sand next to the feet of two complete strangers also at the beach! (Pirate version with optional peg-leg currently out of stock.)

There are hundreds of wonderful, romantic and thoughtful gifts for that special someone in your life available through the Skymall catalog, but this last item I consider the crown jewel of the collection.

Say you’ve been married for a few years. Those sexy, slinky negliges have been replaced by fuzzy slippers and a bulky robe. Or perhaps she’s now sporting the ever-popular Snuggie around the house? Why not just decide “if you can’t beat ’em, join ’em” with this beautiful gift made for two?

The Siamese Slanket $40.99

Imagine the romantic evenings spent together on the couch eating popcorn and watching Zumba infomercials in a snuggly Slanket made for two! And once warmer weather sets in, I bet that baby would make pretty quick work of wiping down the bass boat. Win/win!

I hope I’ve given you a few ideas for that special someone in your life. If you do decide to order one of these wonderful gifts from Skymall, tell them I sent you.

On second thought, maybe you shouldn’t mention my name. Happy shopping Lovebirds!

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18 Responses to “Shopping for love with Skymall”

  1. Jeanne Damoff February 3, 2011 at 10:48 pm #

    200 points. You made me laugh on every single item. Slam dunk.

    Love you! (But I’m not giving you a lifetime of enchantment.)

  2. Candy February 3, 2011 at 10:49 pm #

    So when you said this post was for me, you were serious!! I’m off to order me a siamese slanket. My life will never be the same.

  3. Glynn February 3, 2011 at 11:07 pm #

    Skymalladocious! (Valentine’s edition)

  4. Louise February 3, 2011 at 11:11 pm #

    Oooohhhh, such goodies!

    I must tell c.C. about the I love you more necklace — he’s always up for oneupmanship — I wonder if… they have one that says, I love you more than a thousand sockeye — his other favourite expression!

    Thanks for the ‘wonderful’ ideas! Soooo romantic!

  5. PeterP February 3, 2011 at 11:14 pm #

    How can I possibly NOT thought of Skymall when trying to come up with ideas for Debbie’s Valentines gift!

    Thank you for the reminder of the perfect place to shop!

    • Candy February 3, 2011 at 11:46 pm #

      Peter, you’re looking for love, not trouble. Go to Walmart. Much safer than skymall. Well, except for the snuggie.

  6. kristinherdy February 4, 2011 at 12:03 am #

    The book The Snuggie Sutra is in print now and would make a disgusting companion to gift choice #4.

    I am grateful my boyfriend doesn’t fly for work any more. The altitude messes people up and makes them think items like these make appropriate gifts.

  7. Cassandra Frear February 4, 2011 at 8:10 am #

    This is what I mean by “eclectic.”

    Should I even be leaving a comment here? Oh, that’s right, you can’t answer that.

    Don’t tell anyone, but I did spend a minute considering that slanket to help me get through this winter.

  8. Jason February 4, 2011 at 8:40 am #

    My wife would kill me if I bought a gift via Skymall.

  9. Tony Alicea February 4, 2011 at 8:52 am #

    That is definitely one of my favorite quotes from The Office. Also the unicorn one…but that’s beside the point.

    Is there a mailing list I can get on to be notified when the Pirate Portrait will be available? I’m not even in a relationship yet but you can’t pass up this kind of opportunity.

    • kristinherdy February 4, 2011 at 11:00 am #

      you should order the pirate portrait when it becomes available and sharpie your name and that of your lady love, you know, whenever you start that relationship. It’s like it was meant to be, matey!

  10. Helen February 4, 2011 at 10:34 am #

    It is a shame about the Pirate sand names. The whole Pirate Fest Fiasco is something Bob and I want to relive over and over, every time we look at the wall in our living room. But then, 70 bucks is kind of steep.

    • PeterP February 5, 2011 at 9:44 pm #

      I could do that effect for you in photoshop!

  11. Maureen February 4, 2011 at 4:17 pm #

    “Sklanket” is such a weird word.

    • katdish February 4, 2011 at 4:32 pm #

      I LOVE words that begin with a double consonant! Slanket, Snuggie, Snausages…

  12. Steph February 4, 2011 at 10:29 pm #

    I’m trying to choose between the Siamese Slanket and the Enchanted Roses. The roses are quite lovely (and in a BOHEMIAN vase!), but cold arms while sharing a blanket is a real problem here on the Red Clay Estate. What to do, what to do?

    Oh, and did anyone notice the significance of Kristen’s comment? She’s discovered the SECRET to the success of SkyMall: ALTITUDE SICKNESS. I have to remember that the next time I do something dumb. “Honey, I’m sorry I put your keys in the veggie crisper, but I blame Delta.”

  13. Larry Hehn February 5, 2011 at 3:29 pm #

    Darn. That ruins the dozen Nacho cheese-dipped carnations in a mason jar that I was going to get my wife.

  14. Jake February 7, 2011 at 11:50 pm #

    “One Ring to rule them all, One Ring to find them, One Ring to bring them all and in the darkness bind them….”

    That’s literally what I thought of when I read about the creep as the deuces ring. Oh man….. Glad I don’t have to bother this year……

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