Heartbreak and handbags

image courtesy of photobucket.com

There are women who purchase handbags as accessories to match their shoes. They change out their purses as often as they change their outfits. I am not one of those women. For me, entering into a relationship with a handbag is a long term commitment not to be taken lightly.

For years, the search for the perfect bag was akin to searching for the Holy Grail. Many came close, but always lacked a certain necessary element. Then a few years ago (I’m not sure the exact year, but I know it was during the second Bush administration), I received a Fossil Sutter Crossbody flap bag as a Christmas gift. It was perfection wrapped in brown distressed leather and love at first use. We’ve been together ever since. It’s been such an integral part of my life that I’ve written not one, but two blog posts about it.

Last week, my Fossil bag finally succumb to the ravages of time and abuse. Actually, I lost one of the clips that hold the shoulder strap onto the purse.

Otherwise, I’d just do what I did with the other clip and wire it back on.

Okay, perhaps I’m just a wee too attached to that handbag, but we’ve got a lot of history together.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to wipe away my tears and try to find one exactly like it on e-Bay. In the meantime, I invite you to read again or for the first time ever…

The ABC’s of Crap in my Purse: (Originally posted 3-12-2009)

Disclaimer: Yes, that is a pricey Fossil purse with paint on it. But in my defense, it was a gift from my sister. She feels sorry for me because I have chosen to live a life devoid of overpriced accessories, so she buys me expensive purses, Pandora bracelets with coordinating overpriced beads to go with, and other fancy stuff for Christmas and birthdays. I had no idea how much that purse costs until I went to get one without paint on it. After pricing them, I decided my purse had character. I bet no one else in town has a chocolate brown Fossil Sutter Crossbody flap bag (don’t think I didn’t have to do a Google image search to figure out what kind of purse it is) with off-white trim paint strategically dabbed on the credit card zipper pouch. Katdish: trendsetter (CHECK!)

I’m really liking Twitter. There. I said it. Now, I’ll also say this: my friend Steph at the Red Clay Diaries was right. Yeah, Steph. You guilted me into it, but I’m glad I came around. It’s really opened up a whole new world of Internet peeps for me, and as you all know, I don’t spend nearly enough time on the computer. For example, this chick named Mandy Thompson started following me. So I go check out her twitter page and her blog. Turns out, she’s just like me, except that she’s an incredibly gifted musician and is cool. She thinks I’m cool, too. But let’s not let that cat out of the bag just yet. She’ll figure out what a dork I am sooner or later.

Anyway, Mandy recently wrote a post dedicated to stuff in her purse. It looked really professional with corresponding letters to the stuff all nicely laid out. There was a purpose for everything she had in there. Contrast that to Steph’s post awhile back about stuff in her purse. Which is waaayyyy closer to what is in my purse.

I really liked the way Mandy lettered the items. So, in attempt to copy her, I attempted to do the same with the items in my purse. You would think that someone who actually paints murals and custom artwork as a trade would be able to use the paintbrush function on her computer. And you would be wrong. Painting with a mouse is nothing like painting with a paintbrush. I pretty much suck at it. But still, it took me a long time to designate letters to items from my purse in no particular order, so I’m going with it. Ladies and gentlemen, the ABC’s of crap in my purse:

A) Rudy the cat. He is not now, nor has he ever been in my purse.
B) My second Blackberry. I upgraded from my first Blackberry when my dh decided he needed an iPhone. Some people never get a brand new car. I never get a brand new PDA. (Not that I’m complaining, mind you. I dig it.)
C) My business cards, “Ragamuffin Child Interiors” I realize the “child” part is redundant, as the definition of a ragamuffin is “a shabbily dressed child”. But would you hire a painter whose company name is “A shabbily dressed child Interiors”? Me thinks not.
D) Large stack of random receipts. I think it’s important to keep receipts. Why? Because my husband says so.
E) Pens that I can never find, but have obviously always been in there.
F) Giveaway mirror from my old church.
G) Oil blotting sheets. People, I am very shiny! Those paper toilet seat liners are also great for blotting the excess oil from your face, but by using the little blue sheets you will draw way less attention to yourself in the ladies room. (You’re just gonna have to trust me on this one.)
H) Orbit gum – I tease Pete Wilson about chewing gum during interviews, but I’m a fairly prolific gum chewer myself. (Don’t tell him I said that.)
I) Eye wetting drops from when I had lasik surgery a year ago. Hey, you never know.
J) Broken pieces from a cheap tic tac toe game that my daughter asked me to hold for her last month.
K) No-slip ponytail holder. I swear by those, especially if you have thick hair.
L) Leftover nail glue and orange stick that I used to apply Lee press-on nails to my ugly man-hands whist attending Catalyst One Day in Alpharetta, GA.
M) Several tubes of lipstick that I almost never wear. Also, one of them is a highlighter.
N) A Speert purse hook. You set the square part down on the edge of a table, and then you can hook your purse on it. Another fancy gift from my sympathetic sister. I’ve used it once: the day she gave it to me at lunch.
O) Bed, Bath & Beyond and Linens n’ Things 20% coupons. You never know when you’ll need to buy someone a Snuggie. (I know LNT is out of business – I threw it away.)
P) A bulletin from a church where we guest-led worship a couple of Sundays ago. (Okay, it was mid-January. Are you beginning to see a trend here?)
Q) Business account checkbook.
R) A bag of gourmet coffee that they were giving out at Catalyst One Day.
S) A bag of airline pretzels.
T) A foil pack of Gas-X. (I know, I know — TMI.)
U) A copy of “Making your Mark: How to leave long, annoying comments on other People’s Blogs” by Wordy McTypesalot. You never know when someone’s going to ask you for your autograph. It hasn’t actually happened yet, but I’m ready!
V) Wallet by “The Sack”. I love that wallet, but I don’t keep any credit cards or ID in there. It’s basically a fancy junk drawer for my purse. I’m pretty sure Waldo’s in there.
W) Credit card zipper pouch where I actually keep my credit cards and ID. Incidentally, I almost never use credit cards. I should take most of those out of there and put them in my wallet.
X) Huh….apparently, there is no “X”. But I’m not redoing that picture! (Man, I hope Angela doesn’t read this. That will drive her nuts! I swear, Angela; I did not do that on purpose this time.)
Y) Tres muchos denaro. (Dang. I’m practically bilingual!)
Z) Correct change for nothing in particular.

I suppose my purse (and the center console in my Jeep) are very much like this:

To my guy readers. Sorry. I hope you didn’t get any girl cooties while reading this post. I’ll try to write a post with some fart humor and/or gratuitous violence to make up for this one.

Wow. That was a really long post about the contents of my purse. I’m actually kind of embarrassed. But not embarrassed enough not to publish it. (Hit “publish post”.)

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14 Responses to “Heartbreak and handbags”

  1. Jason April 11, 2011 at 9:12 pm #

    Rudy the cat could have been in there. He’s just so sneaky you would never know.

  2. Candy April 11, 2011 at 9:39 pm #

    I, too, develop long-term relationships with my purses. REALLY long. So when I discovered the Miche bag and saw that change the outside appearance in the blink of an eye without dumping the guts of the purse, I was in heaven. I’ll never go back. And no, they don’t pay me to advertise for them but they totally should.

  3. Simply Darlene April 11, 2011 at 10:14 pm #

    I’m sort of afraid, but I am going to google that purse hook thingy. I don’t get it. You mean you hang your purse on a table? Like at a restaurant? Or at home? And where do you keep your hand-sanitizer, pepper spray, apples, and granola bars? Hmmm, maybe you have big pockets. (Course I’ve never owned a purse. I have upgraded from a paper bag to a canvas bag though.)


  4. JamesBrett April 11, 2011 at 10:15 pm #

    handbag. that’s a good word; i’ll try it out on my wife. she despises the word ‘purse.’ so instead she’s named her purses in the past. and she’s actually asked me to call them by their names. so far we’ve had a stanley and a livingstone.

    but i slip up all the time and say purse. maybe i can make the switch to handbag….

    though i wish i could say ‘clutch,’ because i think that’s a great name. but if i understand correctly, that’s a bit smaller?

    • katdish April 12, 2011 at 7:46 am #

      Yes, James. A clutch is a smaller version of a purse, like the red one in the picture.

  5. SarahBee April 11, 2011 at 10:24 pm #

    Haha! It’s like mine–Falling to pieces & jammed full of who knows what. Sometimes I wonder if the receipts are what’s really holding it together. Sure, someday I’ll enter the surveys at the bottom to win a grocery gift card… Right?

  6. seekingpastor April 11, 2011 at 11:01 pm #

    That is A LOT of stuff. But if I had a purse it would be full of stuff, too. And sandwiches.

  7. Louise April 12, 2011 at 5:46 am #

    Unlike Fossil, Versace or any other kind of bag, you my friend are priceless!

  8. Kelly Sauer April 12, 2011 at 7:09 am #

    I SO get you, but I haven’t had a purse that I’ve really loved for a long time. See, I distanced myself after the one I loved broke down – You can only really get so attached to these things, right?

    So really, I guess I’m just walking around with mediocre purses. 😛

  9. jasonS April 12, 2011 at 12:16 pm #

    Happing hunting on e-bay, Kat. 🙂

  10. Helen April 12, 2011 at 1:25 pm #

    HA! I’d have to clean my purse before showing you the contents! Although though it has been better since Dominick’s started letting us upload their coupons onto our Fresh Value card. So now there are no more old Dominick’s coupons in my purse. (Just Jewel and manufacturer coupons.)
    I like the red one! Still, I couldn’t cheat on my current handbag either….

  11. Keri @ Pop Parables April 12, 2011 at 4:28 pm #

    As a mom of 3 boys, I long for the days when I can have a purse again! These days, it’s diaper bag/purse in one. But, I do insist on having a cute diaper bag since I have to haul it everywhere I go and to keep the hubby from stealing it. My bag:


    And, your Fossil bag is a very cute one. I think a purse says a lot about a person, so I think you should choose wisely. Maybe you could make something out of the old bag, like a wallet? Or you could hang it on your as decor/an homage to the old bag. It could be a mail holder or something. Idk-I’m sure there’s a way you will to properly memorialize your relationship with said bag.

  12. Hazel Moon April 12, 2011 at 5:48 pm #

    I agree with you that a good purse is hard to part with. My old purse is just now starting to crumble. The snap on one side is failing. I will not trust E-Bay for a purse, but I do use it for other things, like books on tape for my car. I have an entire cheat sheet full of user ID and passwords. I print the sheet and save it to a FLASH drive. I will not take a chanch to save it to my hard drive. I can never remember all those passwords so this works for me. Hope your purse gets out of jail soon! LOL

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