Oh, you shouldn’t have!

image courtesy of photobucket.com

Did y’all know it’s Mother’s Day this Sunday? Just in case this is news to you and you’re still looking for gift ideas, I thought that rather than giving you a list of things moms might like, perhaps it would be helpful to know what moms might not like.

Now, I realize all women are different, so a gift I could live without might be the perfect gift for your mom, wife or grandmother. But then again, maybe not so much. Here are a few items you (men folk in particular) might want to shy away from.

10. Monster Truck Rally tickets. (Unless they're for you and the kids while she goes to the spa, with the gift certificate you got her.)

9. Remote controlled foot bath (Does anyone actually use one of these things more than once or twice before it gets shoved in the linen closet?Although a gift certificate for a pedicure would be great.)

8. A bathing suit. (Unless a woman tells you which one she likes, the size she needs, and the name of the sales associate at the store that put it on hold for her, never EVER buy her a swimsuit. There's just not many scenarios where this will end well for you. Why risk it?)

7. I'm fairly confident no man of sound mind would buy this as a Mother's Day gift for his wife, but if this looks like something you think she might enjoy, see Number 6

6. (See Number 7)

5. A vacuum cleaner, or pretty much any household appliance. Sure, the woman in the picture looks happy, but she's a model. Or drunk. Or both.

4. The mass produced "I Love You Mom" plaque with glass rose. Just...no. She probably already has one, and that's one too many.

3. Mother's Day brunch at Chuck E. Cheese (See Number 6)

2. A carton of cigarettes. Really never an appropriate gift in my opinion. Especially if they happen to be YOUR brand. And she doesn't smoke.

1. Mommie Dearest on DVD or blue ray. Unless, of course it's her favorite movie. In which case finding a last minute Mother's Day gift is probably not your biggest problem.

I hope these ideas were helpful, and I hope all you moms have a wonderful Mother’s Day!

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22 Responses to “Oh, you shouldn’t have!”

  1. karenzach May 6, 2011 at 12:16 am #

    Oh, c’mon now. Mommie Dearest is a wonderful juicy book. I still remember scenes from it. It’s like every adopted child’s nightmare. Oh, maybe every child for that matter. 🙂

  2. Angie Platten May 6, 2011 at 12:19 am #

    This cracked me up! I remember several years ago, when I was still married, my husband at the time, gave me a DVD player that held over 400 discs. I very politely thanked him but said, “But honey, I don’t watch t.v. or movies. I don’t have time to sit and do that. (I had a 2 year old and newborn at the time).” He said, “Well now maybe you will!” When I called and told my mom what he got me, she said, “Oh! He got himself a mother’s day present!” Yep… I never did sit around using that thing. Oh, and for my first mother’s day… my pregnant mother’s day, he got me a kitchenaid mixer and blender. He’s a self made chef. I hate cooking. I told him, But I don’t really like cooking. He claimed he got it so I could bake cookies and such for our child. I’m like, “Oh, ok”. Well, when we divorced, he got all mad that I took these appliances with me. I said, “Well, they were a gift to me for Mother’s day.” His response, “Well, when I bought them, I didn’t know they’d ever leave the house.” Uh, yeah… I was right from the get go… they were for him under the disguise of a gift for me. Men…….

  3. Jamie May 6, 2011 at 7:33 am #

    Great list. Or, bad list. You know what I mean… although I really did ask for a Dyson vacuum for an anniversary gift a few years ago!

  4. Billy Coffey May 6, 2011 at 7:40 am #

    I’d leave a longer comment, but right now I have to go return the cigarettes and monster truck tickets I bought yesterday.

  5. Candy May 6, 2011 at 7:45 am #

    Add to that list a Hedgehog trimmer. Now a muscular guy carrying one, that’s different. And that woman’s floor doesn’t even look dirty and WHY IS SHE SITTING ON IT? In a dress?? Your assessment is correct.

  6. Simply Darlene May 6, 2011 at 7:47 am #

    I’ll take the truck, Billy you keep the tickets.

  7. karenzach May 6, 2011 at 7:50 am #

    Got to thinking… should I take it personally when my daughter gives me a machine to help reduce wrinkles???

    • Simply Darlene May 6, 2011 at 7:59 am #

      My 7-year old son gave me an early gift yesterday, a rock wrapped in a scrap of newspaper and tied with a piece of rubber-band. I wonder what’ll happen if we put the rock in your machine? I’ve heard there is a great need for wrinkle-free rocks, but wrinkle-free mammas don’t seem quite right.


  8. Cassandra Frear May 6, 2011 at 7:50 am #

    After reading this post, I think I need more coffee. I daren’t show it to my young men. Honestly, I don’t want to give them any extra ideas.

  9. Amy Nabors May 6, 2011 at 8:42 am #

    I completely agree with the household appliance. Great advice with all of these though.

  10. Maureen May 6, 2011 at 8:58 am #

    Just remember: It’s the thought that counts!

    • katdish May 6, 2011 at 8:59 am #

      To which my reply would be, “What were you thinking?”

  11. Helen May 6, 2011 at 9:25 am #

    Happy Mother’s day!

  12. Beck May 6, 2011 at 10:52 am #

    My BEST Mother’s Day gift was a massage gift certificate from my children, since – as my husband said – “They’re the ones who made everything hurt in the first place.”
    My worst Mother’s Day gift was pretty much everything else I’ve ever been given, since my children are young and have gaudy tastes and limited budgets.

  13. K.M. Weiland May 6, 2011 at 11:00 am #

    Oh, darn. I just finished wrapping Mommie Dearest. You really think she won’t like it? :p Actually, I think I done good this year. Can’t go wrong with a collection of scented candles.

  14. Jason May 6, 2011 at 12:26 pm #

    #2 is acceptable in parts of Mississippi, Alabama and Louisiana.

  15. kelybreez May 6, 2011 at 2:16 pm #

    I’m getting her a vacuum cleaner, because my wife ALWAYS vacuums in that same pose the lady in the pic is striking. At first, I thought you had stolen a photo of my sweet wifey.

  16. okiewife May 6, 2011 at 2:24 pm #

    Well, I’m just one of the lucky ones. Hubby came home with a big pot of dark red mums, and a mushy card. And my son will be out early Sunday morning picking wildflowers for me (tradition)…

  17. Hazel Moon May 6, 2011 at 2:28 pm #

    Adding to your list, yard and lawn equipment, or perhaps a gun! Now if it is a very small gun to fit into your purse, that might be OK! 🙂

  18. Karen May 7, 2011 at 9:26 am #

    Well, I’ll admit that I like receiving useful household tools that I’ve been wanting for a long time anyway … it’s better than the gaudy glass item with roses etched on it. But overall, the best gifts have to do with massages, chocolate, and art supplies.

  19. jake May 7, 2011 at 9:43 am #

    Once upon a time, cigarettes were an appropriate gift around my household. Not even kidding. I knew we were kinda trashy, so more than anything, it made me laugh. (We also used to buy bottles of liquor and lottery tickets for each other too, but that’s another story)

    Happy Mother’s Day Kathy!!

  20. Hazel Moon May 8, 2011 at 1:54 am #

    Happy Mothers Day to you all! Be blessed as you are reminded of all the kind acts your mother did for you through the years. I wished my Grandson a Happy Mother’s day as he mentioned that his teen age son wrote in his memory book all the kind things my Grandson had done for him all these years. He has had to be the mother for his boys in the absence of their birth mom. Such is life at times. I tried to include moms in my poem, first the birth moms, adoptive and Foster Moms, and those with simply a mother’s heart.

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