Oh, you shouldn’t have…

image courtesy of photobucket.com

The gifts have been opened. The garbage sack of discarded wrapping paper and boxes have been (hopefully) been dragged down to the curb for the garbage truck to haul away. Time to be grateful for the bounty you have received–the gifts that were exactly what you wanted, and even those that missed the mark. It really is the thought that counts, right?

But since it’s just us here, it’s time to fess up. Did you get more of the former or the latter?

I believe the vast majority of gift givers truly want to give the recipient something they will love. Take me, for example. Every birthday, anniversary and Christmas, I rack my brain trying to find the perfect gift for my husband. I can count on one hand the gifts that would qualify as perfect. It’s not that he doesn’t appreciate the thought I put into them–he assures me he does–I just can’t seem to get it right most of the time. He, on the other hand, being ever so practical, asks me what I want and then gets it for me. What a concept, huh?

And speaking of my husband (excellent segue katdish!)…

He’s a coffee drinker. We both are, actually. He’s one of those folks who is happy to drink coffee at 8:00 in the morning or 8:00 at night. With this in mind, it is reasonable to assume that gourmet coffee would be an excellent gift.

coffee from my dad and his wife: gourmet mocha java

gift from my brother & his family: coffee from Hawaii

gift from my sister: coffee from the French Quarter in New Orleans

Many of you coffee affectionados may be reading this and thinking these are excellent gifts. And they are. But not for him. I’ll enjoy them all, but that sort of misses the point, doesn’t it? They were given to him, not me.

Why won’t my husband enjoy these thoughtful coffee gifts?

Because when it comes to his coffee, my husband is Frasier Crane’s dad Martin.

No latte, no half-caff flavored frappuccino. Just plain, black coffee. Folgers or the grocery store equivalent. But he’s not complaining. How could they know he doesn’t like fancy coffee? These were all good gifts that just slightly missed the mark.

Since we just returned from a week at my in-law’s house, where watching Jeopardy at 6:00 was a nightly ritual, I would like present the remainder of the gifts received following the Jeopardy game format of answer first, then question.

Ready?

Am I the only one who misses Alex's man-stache?

Here we go…

Gift which will likely still be on the card table after your January garage sale.

What is the Vampire Diaries 750 piece puzzle?

***

Gift most likely obtained by traveling back in time to the 1980’s.

What is a backgammon set?

***

Gift you never knew you needed until you got it.

Who knew you could fry barbecue?

What is a BBQ fry pan and…

What is gourmet salt?

***

A gift you should absolutely, under any circumstances buy for someone unless they specifically ask for it.

They don't even look good on the skinny model.

What are pajama jeans?

There’s my list.

Any interesting gifts found under your tree you’d care to share? Maybe we could negotiate a trade?

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12 Responses to “Oh, you shouldn’t have…”

  1. Cassandra Frear December 29, 2011 at 1:34 pm #

    This is why I love white elephant Christmas parties. How I wish there were more of them.

    Every single gift I got was delightfully suited to me this year.

    However, I bombed on my husbands gifts, even after agonized searching and discarding. But I was not offended when he didn’t think they were quite right. We took them back. Then we shopped (for the third time) together and found an incredibly good jacket at an incredibly good price–which was something he really wanted.

    After all these years, I finally get it. Gifts are not a destination. They are a process.

  2. ShaunI December 29, 2011 at 2:50 pm #

    You see that is why I give a donation in your name to ( wait for it) the human fund.

    Happy Festivus

  3. Deborah December 29, 2011 at 3:25 pm #

    Asked for a Kindle Fire. Received a Kindle Keyboard 3G. Returned immeditely and re-ordered. No problem. I’ve been without it this long right?
    Loving the process(promise) But really just love the giver!
    Kat I’m like your husband. Strong black coffee. No Foo-Foo.
    BrownWaterCoffee.com is my favorite. Good coffee. Good cause.
    Thanks for your blog. Quite enjoyable.

  4. Jude December 29, 2011 at 3:33 pm #

    Category: gifts that are wildly inappropriate.
    Answer: what is a nightgown received from your remarried ex-husband?

    • katdish December 29, 2011 at 4:06 pm #

      Oh, Jude…

      Why does that not surprise me?

  5. Jason December 29, 2011 at 6:31 pm #

    My only real gift was having my boys here for a week. And I wouldn’t trade it for anything.

    Not even pajama jeans.

    They look very comfy.

  6. Marni December 29, 2011 at 9:59 pm #

    Nothing is ever going to top the gold “Cop’s Lady” pendant necklace my in-laws gave me many years ago. It was from the Mr. T collection and sported our birthstones too. Ah memories.

    This year, I received some lovely gifts. The Forever Lazy is likely what will be in our next garage sale though.

  7. Glynn December 30, 2011 at 6:14 pm #

    You know, you could open up your own Sky Mall business.

    • katdish December 30, 2011 at 6:21 pm #

      Very true, Glynn. Perhaps I’ll write a follow up post entitled “Contents of my crap closet”. And yeah, I totally have one.

  8. jake January 1, 2012 at 3:10 pm #

    Somebody got you pajama jeans and salt. Fascinating. 🙂 I’m a terrible gift-giver. I suck at it. I try and fail. I’m pretty sure Christmas gifts were invented by the Catholic church to go along with their notion of guilt, because I always feel cruddy about the money spent on my at Christmas. Oh well. I did score all seven Harry Potter books and three of the movies. Win.

    Merry Christmas and Happy 2012, friend!

  9. Dale Davis January 9, 2012 at 8:17 pm #

    I like the commentary on products. Would you review femail creations catalog? They have a hand sanitizer, with a picture of a woman shaking hands with someone and the label reads “Maybe You Touched Your Genitals”. The catalog is a glimpse into the desires of the female mind or some sort. What’s it like in there?

    • katdish January 9, 2012 at 8:30 pm #

      I would be happy to review said catalog, Dale. As to the desires of the female mind, I’m afraid I’m not the best test subject. I think I think more like a guy more often than not. At least that’s what I’ve been told on more than one occasion. And just what kind of catalogs have you been ordering?

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