Leftovers: Wherein I share my secret shame
I’ve been painting my little heart out the past week or so, and I’m far from being finished with what I hope will be a delightful undersea mural for a children’s room in a chiropractic office. I need to give this gal some non-zombie eyes so as not to freak out the children:
Mwha ha ha!
I love to paint, but it has cut into my writing time, so I hope you don’t mind if I share some leftovers with you today…
image courtesy of photobucket. com
If the Hokey Pokey really was what it was all about, I would be in serious trouble…
I may have mentioned this in passing before, but today I make an all out confession:
I suffer from Left-Right Confusion,
Which in layman’s terms means I often can’t tell my left from my right without pretending to eat.
image courtesy of photobucket.com
It’s more embarrassing than anything else. I’ve called people moments after giving them directions to my house and asked them to repeat them to make sure I didn’t say turn left when they should turn right.
Joey, I feel your pain...
I don’t know if the two are related, but I also have a horrible sense of direction.
I’ve mostly come to terms to my condition and have given up my dreams of ever becoming an air traffic controller. But sometimes situations arise which remind me just how different I am. And not necessarily in a good way.
Such was the case Wednesday night.
I have this amazing book called The Art of Looking Sideways by Alan Fletcher. I’m sort of at a loss for words as to how to describe it, so I’ll let Amazon do it for me: “Alan Fletcher’s The Art of Looking Sideways is an absolutely extraordinary and inexhaustible “guide to visual awareness,” a virtually indescribable concoction of anecdotes, quotes, images, and bizarre facts that offers a wonderfully twisted vision of the chaos of modern life.” It is the big book of awesome, and I mean that literally: it weighs 5 pounds.
Anyhoo, I was looking through the book last night (there’s no beginning or end–you could start anywhere), when I came across an exercise which tests whether you were left or right eyed dominant.
Before I continue, I need to give you a little back story. When I was a young tot first picking up a crayon, my natural inclination was to lead with my left hand. My older sisters, apparently fearing being left-handed would make me more of a freak than I already was, forced me to write with my right hand. I’m convinced I should have been left-handed. I credit them for me being amberdextrous ambidexterous able to do things with both hands. I also blame them for my left-right confusion and the delayed discovery of my creativity. (It’s okay–they don’t read my blog. Feel free to heap burning coals upon their heads.)
Now, about the test. It started with a picture:
If you're right-eyed dominant, you probably see the above figure as a rabbit. If you're left-eyed dominant, you probably see a bird.
I was really hoping to discover that I was left-eyed dominant, which would confirm that I am truly left-handed and right-brained. This is my logic. Just nod and follow along, please. Well that was not at all helpful. I see both, and not really one more than the other.
But wait…there was more! Here’s the other test:
Stretch out an arm, either will do, and point with a finger to a distant corner of the room–keep both eyes open.
Staying in this position, close one eye, then the other. In one case your eye will match whatever you’re pointing at in the corner, in the other your finger will be pointing way off the mark.
If you’re on target, that’s your leading eye.
I took the test.
When I closed my right eye, my left eye stayed on target.
Yes!
I really am left-eyed dominant.
Redemption.
Until…
“Um…what are you doing?”, asks my husband.
“I took a test to see if I’m left or right-eyed dominant. I’m left-eyed dominant, by the way.”
I proceed to read him the instructions I followed to the letter. Then I repeated the test again.
“Which eye stays on target?”
“MY LEFT EYE! See?” (repeats test)
“Kat?”
“What?”
“That’s your right eye.”
DRATS!!!
What about you? Have any secret shames you hide from the world?
This is a safe place.
Talk to me, freaks!
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Um…I tried the tests and I appear to be eye equal.
I think I need a CAT scan.
Jason´s last [type] ..The Mystery God
When I pointed, it was my right eye that was on target.
But when I looked at the picture, I saw Alan Hirsch.
Okay, just kidding. But I actually saw the bird first and most prominently, which sort of makes sense when I look at my own freaky self: I throw and kick right-handed (footed), but bat better from the left and use a lefty hockey stick. And then there’s basketball, where I can’t really shoot with either hand and usually foul out because I like to play hockey.
Conclusion? I’m freak-dominated.
Okay. I just spewed my coffee when I read the Alan Hirsh comment. And yes, freak domination sort of fits our church DNA, eh?
Land sakes, I remember this from before. We have a lot in common here. I just tried to find the original post title so I could cut & paste my pervious comment… if’n I wrote what I think I did. Anyway, can’t find it so here is some semblance of it.
I tried to cheat, err help myself and my dance partner, during a collegiate dance test. Yes, we actually had to bust the moves (square dance, contra dance, ballroom dancing, etc. etc.) and my sense of left vs. right was/is pretty muddy so I markered a huge black L & R on my hands for assistance. Partway through the test, my partner threw down my hands and hollered at me about my ineptness and directional impairment. I hollered back and showed him my cheat marks. The entire class, teacher included, told me that I had the letters on the wrong hands.
(I think that dance prof. passed me just so she would not have to deal with me again.)
Basically, I feel it, sister.
SimplyDarlene´s last [type] ..A Call to Act: Parental Rights Amendment
Jeff’s comment up there reminded me of some other stuff too. (as you say, sorry & you’re welcome)
I used to hurdle (back in the day) left footed.
I write right-handed, but stir left-handed.
I shoot my guns right-handed, but aim left-eyed. I can shoot the broadside of a barn that way. But miss the paper plates most of the time. Husband says I need to use both the same eye and same barrel-holder hand. Maybe I need a shot gun instead of a pistol then aim don’t matter much.
When I close one eye and then the other, my left eye sees a blueish tint. Is that normal?
SimplyDarlene´s last [type] ..A Call to Act: Parental Rights Amendment
I appear to be ambieyed as long as I have my contacts in. Which are monovision lenses. Which I often mix up.
Sandra Heska King´s last [type] ..For National Nurses Week: Nursing School Memories (repost)
First off, THANK GOD THAT I’M NOT THE ONLY ONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I have to touch my wedding ring to tell my left from my right. When I was teen it was my promise ring and before that I felt for the lump on my right middle finger from school work.
You’re left/right eye dominance tests are kind of tripping me out. I saw the bunny and bird equally. When I did the corner of the room test, it was my left eye (actually my left eye). I’m right handed, but BOTH of my parents are lefty’s and two possible three (she’s 18 months) of my kids are lefty’s. Even the one that’s a righty is still quite ambi… able to use both pretty well.
Mostly I just wanted to inform you that you’re not alone and I was embarrassed for years that I struggled telling the difference between my left and right, but now I just make it a joke. On the other hand, I’m not naturally good at “direction” but I make up for it with my map memorizing abilities and run off landmarks. If I’m in a new place that I haven’t seen a map or aerial view of, I’m in trouble.
Brina Harwood´s last [type] ..Why Some Cliche’s are Not Cliche.
I saw the bird. When I pointed, my left eye was on target. I’m right-handed.
This explains everything.
The anguish is overpowering.
Glynn´s last [type] ..When the Need is Overwhelming
I saw the bird, too. And here’s the weird thing, I’m legally blind without correction. My left eye is less blind than the other, but it’s the one with astigmatism. So I saw an astigmatic duck.
Megan Willome´s last [type] ..Heaven? It’s in Creede.
So grateful that I too, am not the only with….”problems.” I have to make a capital “L”with my hand to tell the left from right. Humiliating. Most people just assume I’m making the L for Loser. : )
Audra Krell´s last [type] ..Eating the Stick in the Salad
My left hand makes an “L”, too! I hold both hands out at the same time. I don’t think people think I’m making an “L” for loser sign. I like to think people are too intimidated to even try to figure me out!
Helen´s last [type] ..BunBun Shares
“I like to think people are too intimidated to even try to figure me out!”
Helen, that comment is one more reason why you’re AWESOME!
jake´s last [type] ..Sounds Like a Sitcom…
My mom forced me to hold pencils and forks and stuff with my right hand when I wanted to use my left. I like to blame her for my awful handwriting (though it does seem kind of wrong to blame her for stuff since she has passed on…).
Helen´s last [type] ..BunBun Shares
I have the hand-eye coordination of a drunk toddler and I ALWAYS trip walking up stairs. It never fails. It’s pathetic AND funny because you know someone is always there to witness it.
jake´s last [type] ..Sounds Like a Sitcom…
By the way, great job with the mermaid. She looks great! I can’t help but hear, “It’s mer-MAN!!” Oh Zoolander…
jake´s last [type] ..Sounds Like a Sitcom…
I was ambidextrous as a child and my 1st grade teacher told my parents that I would have to choose a side otherwise my penmanship would always be bad. I chose to be left handed. I write lefthanded and knit left handed. However, I use my right hand for cutting, because there were never enough left-handed scissors in my elementary school. I also throw right handed better than left handed and eat like a right-handed person because it causes trouble at long tables at Thanksgiving.
When I took those tests to determine your thinking style and personaltiy, my results showed that I think in random details. Most people are either sequential/detailed or random/big picture. Very few people think this way, so of course, I have developed coping strategies. On the good side, I can be very flexible in changing course if necessary AND I have no problems talking to my grandma with alzheimers because I can just go with the flow. On the down side, I have problems remembering where I put my keys/phone/glasses/pencils/whatever and I am easily distracted, resulting in half done projects.
It was fun taking the tests. I am left handed because I saw the bird first.
tandemingtroll´s last [type] ..OH Happy Day!