Au revoir, Sky Mall: A musical tribute

It’s over…

The Sky Mall has filed for bankruptcy.

sky mall plane

And the immortal words of Pablo Cruise come to mind:

No, I don't know why they're nekkid.

No, I don’t know why they’re nekkid.

“And all your friends
They calling you a fool
Cause you don’t know
A good thing when you’ve
Got it in your hand”

And speaking of musical truths, I felt the only way to convey my heartfelt appreciation to the Sky Mall for the bounty of blog fodder over the years was an homage set to music.

My first instinct was to create a video slideshow set to the haunting “I Will Remember You” as sung by Sarah Mclachlan, but I don’t know how to do that, and I don’t have that kind of time.

sara mclaughlin

So instead, I’m asking you to sing along with the following karaoke track of Golden Slumbers/Carry That Weight by The Beatles replacing the more commonly known lyrics with ones I’ve provide for you below. (Work with me, people!)

 

Without further adieu, I give you my musical tribute to Sky Mall. Last (sniff), in a series.

 

You’re welcome…

Golden Sky Mall

Once there was a place,
to shop for Sasquatch,

sky mall big foot

Once there was a place,
to shop for combs

sky mall hairmax laser comb

Weep pretty darlings, go on cry

sky mall celebrity crying 1

There’s no more shopping in the sky…

Siamese slankets filled the skies

sky mall siamese slanket

Creepy Elvis sang and sighed

sky mall singing elvis

Weep pretty darlings, go on cry

sky mall celebrity crying 2

There’s no more mall up in the sky

Once there was a place,
with magic toilets

sky mall magic toilet

Once there was a place,
for endless pools

sky mall endless pool

Weep pretty darlings go on cry

sky mall crying celebrity 3

There’s no more dog beds in the sky

sky mall dog bed

Boy you’re gonna carry that weight,

sky mall sumo table

carry that weight for a long time

sky mall zombie

Boy you’re gonna carry that weight,

sky mall exerciser

carry that weight for a long time

sky mall skeleton gnomes

I never give you my pillow,

sky mall travel pillow

I only send you my invitations

sky mall cover

And in the middle of the celebrations,

sky mall celebration

I break down

sky mall ostritch pillow

Boy you’re gonna carry that weight,

carry that weight for a long time

sky mall neck brace

Boy you’re gonna carry that weight,

carry that weight for a long time…

sky mall luggage scooter

*****

A fond farewell, Sky Mall. Your pages were scanned by millions.

sky mall autographed

Too bad no one ever bought anything from you.

Ever.

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One Response to “Au revoir, Sky Mall: A musical tribute”

  1. Lois January 31, 2015 at 11:01 am #

    Not gonna miss Sky Mall, but I sure will miss your hilarious reports about their amazing (?) merchandise. So, I guess it’s on to the next adventure. Can’t wait to see what it will be.

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