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The Quotable Katdish

How much attention do you pay to the sidebar(s) when you read someone’s blog? I will typically check them out the first couple of times I read someone’s blog, then pretty much ignore them. Unless, of course they have a jukebox. Then I immediately find the blasted thing and turn it off. Then I may have to get up and clean the dog piddle off my leg, depending upon what song is playing and how loud I have my speakers up on my computer.

If you are the type to look at the sidebar, you may have noticed a quote by me and a picture of some of my home improvement handiwork. Well, the following post is what inspired that quote. I have included some of the comments from that post, including the comment that inspired that quote:

The New Math:
Well, it’s Saturday and I am hard at work in my soon-to-be uber fantastical studio/escape from the world. I am taking a brief respite from the task at hand to give you a brief peek into the glamorous life of me. (Sure, don’t mention it.)

Here’s a new mathematical equation to ponder:

Impulsive, impatient Katdish

– methodical, practical husband

+high powered reciprocal saw

=Uh, oh…Sorry. My bad
Okee, dokey! Well, I gotta got figure out how I’m going to fix this before my DH gets home. Oh, wait…he reads my blog…DANG! So, how’s your day going?
Editor’s Note: I would like to point out that it was a certain Mike Berlinski that gave us the aforementioned saw. So, technically, this is all his fault. No? Ehhh, it was worth a shot.


Anonymous said…
I guess I should look at the bright side and be greatful that I learned of your handy work via your blog and not a call from the hospital.Curious to learn what your a sculpting. – YLDH

katdish said…

Dearest YLDH, I am shocked and appauled! As you might have expected, I have spent the ENTIRE DAY making homemade cookies from scratch, reading bible stories to the children, and singing non-secular Christmas carols with them as we sipped hot cocoa by the fire. Imagine my dismay when I come to check my computer (for the VERY FIRST TIME today), only to discover that someone has obtained pictures of our home and photo shopped them to make it appear that someone has carelessly taken a reciprocal saw to the windowsills! I suppose this is the darker, seedier side of semi-fame. (I suspect the Berlinskis.)

texasshawn said…

Umm…what did you set out to do? At least your hubby has a sense of humor.

katdish said…

Shawn -The creative spirit cannot be enslaved by the oppressive chains of reason and logical thinking. It’s more about the journey than the destination. (Actually, I got a sweet deal on a cute little bench that I wanted to use as a window seat, so I was trying to cut the ledge off the windowsills. And yes, DH is taking this quite well. But then, we’ve been married for 12 years and this is not my first home improvement project run amok. I honestly don’t think anything would shock him anymore.)

I won’t post all the comments here, but you should check them out on the original post if you have time. They’re all pretty funny. I even chased two of my favorite lurkers out from hiding to make a comment – M. Berlinski and of course, MLDH. (His first and last comment, by the way.)

I am also reposting this because Mother’s Day is coming up soon, and this is my way of reminding all of you guys how really great it is not being married to me. Now go get your wives something really special, whether she’s a mom or not!
I’d really like to have a compound miter saw. But I think we all know that’s never going to happen. Oh well. A girl can dream…

I heart Shepard Smith

The following blog post should probably be categorized under “0ld news that not many people care about anymore.” But sometimes I get some sort of prompt that reminds me of something else, and so on. My prompt for this post was seeing Shepard Smith on the Fox Report saying something incredibly sarcastic(and funny).

I’m not easily impressed by celebrities. Just because someone is famous doesn’t make them worthy of honor — often their fame and their subsequent intoxication by it makes them quite unworthy of honor and generally annoying in my opinion. I’m not saying that Shepard Smith is an honorable man. I honestly don’t know. But in the days following Hurricane Katrina, as politicians and pundants wasted valuable time pointing fingers at one another attempting to place the blame on somebody else’s shoulders, I saw Shepard Smith on a freeway overpass. An overpass that I have driven on many times. But instead of cars and trucks, it was filled with weary, desparate people who had not eaten nor even had clean water to drink in days. And instead of going for the “money shot” (the dead bodies scattered upon that vast stretch on concrete and steel) or allowing himself to be brought into some ridiculous conservative versus liberal debate, he stood there on that bridge and said the very words that I was screaming at my television: “Send help. Tiny babies are not getting formula and there are elderly people who are in desparate need of medical attention.” To whomever would listen he pleaded for someone to simply come and help. His frustration with the situation was obvious, and his outrage, while not fully expressed, was palattable and sincere. (Which, incidentally, was in stark contrast to Geraldo Rivera’s pathetic grandstanding outside the Superdome with a tiny baby held up in front of the cameras and saying without words “Look how incredibly compassionate I am”. But that’s another tangent — don’t EVEN get me started.) The following is a quote taken from a recent bio I read about Shepard Smith. It is in response to a question about an exchange between Sean Hannity and Smith after Hannity asked about “perspective”:

When I told Sean Hannity, “That’s all the perspective you need,” I was aware that thousands of people were living on a freeway in 95-degree weather, that some of them needed insulin, and some of them needed baby formula, and right over that bridge those things existed, and they weren’t allowed to go there. That was my whole world. I did not know that the rest of the world had turned this political. How the f*ck could they have done that? I was so astonished to get on one of our opinion programs — Hannity & Colmes — and to learn that the rest of the world was apparently thinking of Katrina in terms of left and right, R and D. Poverty is not a new thing to me. Segregation is not a new thing. But that these happen to be the people who are now in need, and no leadership is emerging to give them what they need, was beyond all reason. So that was all the perspective he needed. [Sean] just didn’t know that.

I have always liked Shepard Smith, but after that coverage I became a fan – mostly because he made it very clear to the viewer that these were human beings in dire need of attention, not just some breaking news story. In my opinion, he is someone that takes the business of reporting the news very seriously. He does not however, take himself or the media circus that he often finds himself the unwitting ring master of very seriously.

The following video is not a commentary on whether or not I think OJ Simpson is a murderer, whether justice can truly be blind when a celebrity is involved, or my personal opinion of Fox News Channel. The reason for this post has nothing to do with the aforementioned topics. I am posting this video because when it originally aired in November of 2007, I thought it was just about the most outrageously funny commentary I’ve ever heard on television. And because, as the title of the post indicates, I heart Shepard Smith.


(Did you catch the part at the end where he gave out that guy’s email address? Classic!)

Remix: Philemon – Biblical Goodness for the Short Attention Span

Okay, yeah. This is a repost of an earlier post. I originally wrote this way back in May of last year. But it’s kind of cool for me to reflect on it now at a distance. Specifically the part where I say “Distracted by all the things going on in my life right now…” because part of “all of the things” was that we were knee deep in the early stages of planting a church and had been thrown a few curve balls in the process. What a difference a few months can make. I know I said this yesterday, but it bears repeating: God is very, very good! BTW – I never did write a post about Hebrews, but if you haven’t read it in awhile, it is an awesomely good book.

Truth be told, this entry was going to be about Hebrews. I even have a rough draft floating around in my head somewhere and a title, “Why I’m loving’ me some Hebrews”. But every time I sit down to write about it, I end up going down several rabbit trails and have difficulty staying on topic. (Yes, shocking, I know.) I promise I’ll write about it soon, because I AM loving me some Hebrews!

Distracted by all the things going on in my life right now, and knowing I couldn’t wrap my head around all the ways that Hebrews is helping me look at said life with some biblical clarity, I resigned myself to blog a couple of quotes or a quick Top Ten List. Just as I was closing my bible, I noticed the book right before Hebrews — Philemon.

If you’ve never read Philemon, you should. Go get your bible and read it. I’ll wait right here………………Pretty good stuff, huh? Wedged between bible heavyweights Titus and Hebrews, Philemon is a short letter from the Apostle Paul that packs a punch. Now, Philemon is a friend of Paul’s, a model Christian, an active worker for Christ, and a slave owner. While imprisoned, Paul meets Philemon’s runaway slave, Onesimus. Onesimus has apparently stolen something from his master and has fled to Rome. Under Roman law, Philemon had every right to put Onesimus to death.

Paul writes this letter to his friend to convince him not only to forgive this runaway slave, but to welcome him home as a brother in Christ. There are a whole lotta lessons in this short letter, but to keep me on task, I’m going to focus on one train of thought.

“Therefore, although in Christ I could be bold and order you to do what you ought to do, yet I appeal to you on the basis of love. I then, as Paul — an old man and now also a prisoner of Christ Jesus — I appeal to you for my son Onesimus, who became my son while I was in chains. Formerly he was useless to you, but now he has become useful both to you and me.” (2:8-11) Because Paul was an elder and an apostle, he could have commanded that Philemon welcome Onesimus home with open arms. But instead, he chooses to appeal to his friend’s Christian commitment. He wanted him to want to take Onesimus back, not as a slave, but as an equal in the Body of Christ. I don’t know about you, but when someone tells me I have to do something, my mind goes into overdrive coming up with all the reasons why I don’t have to. When you counsel a friend about overcoming sinful behavior, do you blast them with bible verses, or do you appeal to what you see as their strengths? Do you give them some wiggle room and trust that the Holy Spirit will have a say in the matter? I hope we all do that.

“I am sending him — who is my very heart — back to you. I would have liked to keep him with me so that he could take your place in helping me while I am in chains for the gospel. But I did not want to do anything without your consent, so that any favor you do will be spontaneous and not forced. Perhaps the reason he was separated from you for a little while was that you might have him back for good — no longer a slave, but better than a slave, as a dear brother. He is very dear to me but even dearer to you, both as a man and as a brother in the Lord.” (2:12-16) Paul is saying, “This is a great guy, I’d love for him to stay with me, but because I love you both, I’m sending him back so that you can be blessed by what he has become. You haven’t lost a slave, you’ve gained a loyal friend and a brother in Christ. But again, the ball’s in your court.” Again — ample wiggle room.

“So, if you consider me a partner, welcome him as you would welcome me. If he has done you any wrong or owes you anything, charge it to me. I, Paul, am writing this with my own hand. I will pay it back — not to mention that you owe me your very self. I do wish, brother, that I may have some benefit from you in the Lord; refresh my heart in Christ. Confident of your obedience, I write to you, knowing that you will do even more than I ask.” (2:17-21) When you know someone that’s new to the faith, do you personally invest in their lives? Do you “cover their bets”, so to speak? Or do you give them a big hug, welcome to the family and say, “Good luck with all of THAT!”? You wouldn’t teach your child to swim one day and then let them go to the pool by themselves the next. You hang out in the shallow end, cheer them on as they tread water, and make sure you’re there in case they get into trouble. Which, by the way, the usually do. Trust that people will do the right thing, but don’t be offended or surprised when they don’t. Forgive them as Christ forgives you, help them up and get them back on track.

There’s a whole bunch of good stuff in this little letter; many rabbit trails I could go down, but for now, It’s enough for me to reflect on just a few of them. We never learn how the homecoming turns out, but I imagine a really cool reunion, where we see Onesimus walking toward Philemon (whose hoping that Onesimus will find his way back, but doesn’t know for sure). Philemon looks up from what he’s doing, recognizes Onesimus from a distance, stands up, starts walking toward his old slave and new friend. The camera zooms out for a wide shot, then fades to black….think last scene in The Shawshank Redemption.

The Creative Process: A step by step guide

(Subtitled: Why my laundry still isn’t finished.)

  1. With the full understanding that leaving the house today is on the agenda, you decide to wear something a bit more formal than the fuzzy polka dot pajama pants and the bright green “Whose Your Daddy?” t-shirt.

  2. Attempts to find a pair of clean jeans prove futile. Instead, you hastily decide on a pair of red cotton capris circa 2001 and a peasant type t-shirt the same color as Oscar the Grouch. A gigantic claw hair clip and black flip flops complete the ensemble. Make a mental note that the laundry fairy has ignored numerous requests. Drastic measures must be taken.
  3. After “errands”, i.e. – getting your kids out of the house before they drive you to drink, you reluctantly return home and begin tackling the huge piles of laundry.
  4. Lots of random things happen, you manage to wash and dry 2 loads of whites and 2 loads of jeans. Hang up jeans and begin sorting underwear and socks.
  5. End up with an inordinately high number of mismatched socks. Suspect the dog has found a “special place” for their sock mates.
  6. Decide to put the socks in a basket on top of the dryer. Hate this idea because how are you supposed to remember which socks are in there? You may throw their sockmate right in the same basket, and that ain’t right.
  7. Begin to feel bad for the socks. Serenade the socks with the 3 Dog Night Hit, “One”. “One… the loneliest number that you’ll ever know. Two can be as bad as one, it’s the loneliest number since the number one, Ahhhh Ewwww!”
  8. Frustrated that you have no fabulous ideas about how to store the socks until reunited with their drawer mates, your mind begins to wander…
  9. You notice a metal sign that you bought at Ross on the clearance aisle a couple of months ago. It says “Children are the anchors that hold a mother’s heart.” Which you hate, because it reminds you of that children’s book “The Giving Tree”, which makes you want to leg drop that selfish little kid/man in that book. But, it was 2 bucks, and there’s no law saying you have to keep that dumb saying on there once you own it free and clear, now is there?
  10. Get the Goo-Off and scraper from your handy dandy tool bag and get to gettin’ on that quote. Oh, yeah. At this point, the wheels are turning in that little ADD mind of yours. You have begun the actual labor portion of the creative process.
  11. While the Goo-Off soaks in a bit, you manage to get the SWSO’s (socks with significant others) and the miscellaneous unmentionables (underwear) safely to their assigned drawers. (HA! Underwear humor.)
  12. Over the next 2 days, hem and haw over what kind of lettering you want to use on your “sock sign”. Waste an incredible amount of time and energy on this.
  13. Finally decide on the size and type of lettering. Print out new quote, and put on sign using a stylus and transfer paper. Fill in letters with paint pen. Clear coat.
  14. Hot glue clothespins to sign.
  15. Hang sign above dryer, hang sock singles on clothespins.
  16. Stand back and admire your work. You are pleased, but something is missing.

  17. More random things happen — New Year’s Eve party, etc.
  18. Friends come over for dinner. You show them your work. Since they are weird like you, they like the sign very much.
  19. Moments later, one of your friends gives you an idea that will be the “piece de la resistance” to your sock sign.
  20. After your friends leave, you immediately begin working on the final piece of your sign. It takes only a few minutes, but you are well pleased.

    As a matter of fact, you’d go so far as to say that it was…


(Oh, come on. You knew that was coming!)

Short, Sweet and Silly (Hey, kinda like Sherri!)

Last night I checked in on my friend Stacey. She writes a blog about her struggles with infertility, and even though that’s not a topic I’m personally familiar with, that’s not all she writes about. Plus, she’s just a really cool gal and I dig her. Anyway, her latest post talked about the fact that she has a) already finished decorating for Christmas, and b) she and her husband are in the midst of a kitchen remodel. (Considering that my Christmas tree is still in the attic and I have yard art strewn about my front lawn like a bad scene out of some “B” movie Christmas horror flick, that just kinda makes my head swim!) She’s very organized and neat. Sort of like me only completely different. Where was I going with this? Oh yeah — she also mentioned that she and her husband eat lunch together every day. They’re so sweet on each other it literally makes my molars ache. Yesterday, her DH brought home some chicken pot pie for lunch. (Which, BTW Helen – do you have any CPP recipes? Cause I love me some chicken pot pie!) Her hubby left a sweet comment to her with a follow up that had a link to this video:

And because I have been singing this little ditty for roughly the past 4 hours, I just wanted to share it with you. Enjoy!

The Prayer of the ADD afflicted (a "not so typical day)

The following is basically a blow by blow of yesterday’s events in my little corner of the world:

6:00 a.m. –
Woke up on couch. (Removed dog from bed and moved to couch on previous night because DH had to get up early for work. DH could not get to sleep because the dog had the “jiggy leg”.)

6:30 a.m. –
Gentle wake up reminder for children.

6:45 a.m. –
Son in shower. Pull the “Santa card” on daughter in order to get her out of bed.

6:49 a.m. –
Turn on computer, get a cup of coffee, and put cereal on table.

6:55 a.m. –
Receive a prayer request via email from “Clare”. (Names have been changed to protect those whom I have not received permission from to recount story.)
I am simultaneously alarmed and confused as sender has requested prayer for a condition that “is sort of acting like Maria”. Wondering who “Maria” might be, as I assume the Hispanic population in this particular area is as common place as the Caucasian population. Finish my coffee and then brilliantly deduce that “Clare” must have meant “malaria”. Now am very concerned. Send reply asking for confirmation of condition.

7:00 a.m. to 7:30 a.m. –
Son leaves for bus stop. Put daughter in car, drive over posted legal speed limit through neighborhood and cut the bus off at the pass. Daughter gets on the bus. Return home at legal posted speed.

7:30 a.m. to 8:00 a.m. –
Write a brief blog post explaining the need to pray today. Check email for any additional updates. There are none.

8:00 a.m. to 9:00 a.m. –
Attempt to pray, but am too distracted. Decide to use an old stand-by — keeping my hands busy so that my mind can focus on God. Put third coat of wood filler on the home improvement project run amok and begin to pray again. Much more focused this time.

9:00 a.m. to 10:00 a.m. –
Continue to pray while I begin to paint the baseboards in my soon to be uber fantastical studio/escape from the world.

10:00 a.m. – Noon –
Am comforted by prayer, but am wanting to check on the status of “Clare”. Temporarily defer my ADD to status in order to go into full OCD mode. (This process will be fully outlined in just a moment.) Check email and gmail again. Words of comfort and encouragement from friends, but no update on status.

Noon –
Decide to eat something. (I come from a long line of stress eaters, when all else fails: stuff your face.) I heat up some Hungarian chicken taco soup and proceed to inhale it.

1:00 p.m. –
Can’t stand it anymore. Check Facebook for any possible news. Read “Clare’s” Facebook wall. It says: “has taken proper meds, will be fine, just not fun.”

Immediately post the following rambling comment on “Clare’s” Wall:

Well THANK GOODNESS! I was not “worried”, but I was praying, and (shockingly) kept getting distracted. So I called the phone number for GCM in Owerri, oh, I don’t know about 25 times, (I’m ADD, but have some shining OCD moments). Then I called the GCM headquarters and got someone’s voice mail (which, btw – they really should change because you can’t even understand what that chick is saying), then I called your church in Florida, got a REAL LIVE PERSON, told them who I was, and did they know who you were, and she said, “Oh, yes.” So then I said, I’ve been trying to get in touch with “Clare”, but the number I have isn’t going through, to which she replied, “I wasn’t even aware that she had a phone.” To which I said “Are you nuts, lady? She’s in Africa, not Gilligan’s Island.” (Just kidding – I didn’t really say that.) I thanked her and hung up. Then I prayed some more, and then I thought I would check your facebook one more time and BINGO! She shoots, she scores! (at this point, Facebook will not let me type anymore letters.)

So, I post another comment:

How am I supposed to ramble on incessantly when they only give me so much space? Anyhoo – glad you got some good meds and are on the mend. I’m wondering if you might not be second guessing your “Conquest of the Giant Vat of Stew”??? You should probably send Sherri an email, she’s probably about to have a conniption or something…

1:30 p.m. –
Close Facebook. Read a new email from “Clare”. Am greatly relieved that she is okay. Thank God. Back in full ADD mode.

1:45 p.m. –
Having gone a full 6-1/2 hours without making a sarcastic remark on anyone’s blog, I decide to venture out a bit…..(your welcome).

The rest of the day goes on as “normal” (whatever that is.)

Editor’s Note: The preceding post was my typical sarcastic fodder. But to be serious for just a moment, I want to say that I truly believe in the power of prayer and know that many of you were praying fervently as well. I know I kid around most of the time. I hope you know how VERY BLESSED I am to be privy to the privilege of your friendship. And “Clare”, I hope you’re feeling better and aren’t mad at me for writing this post.

My Slacktacular Day

I had high hopes for yesterday. Really, I did. I completed my last painting gig of the year on Monday, with the exception of a couple of at home projects that don’t need to be finished until the first of the year. Heck, I’ve got weeks to procrastinate those! (If you’re reading this Roberta, I’m only kidding – kind of.) My schedule was clear. My DH worked from 7:00 am to well after 10:00 pm the day before so that he could devote time yesterday to help me install the base moulding over the new laminate floors in my studio. We’ve been meaning to get this finished for weeks, but we’ve both been super busy with work.

I woke up resolved to finish the task at hand. I got the kids to the bus stop and walked back home. By the time I got back, he was already on the phone. I should give you a little background here. My husband works for a company that owns and builds natural gas storage facilities, pipelines, etc. He has been managing a pretty big project for the better part of two years. They are in drilling mode right now. This means drilling several natural gas wells to supply the facilities. Having worked in the operations (drilling/production) segment of the oil and gas industry for several years (that’s how we met), I have a true appreciation for Murphy’s Law. Once you get a drilling rig (especially a horizontal drilling rig) on location, every time something goes wrong (which is often), it is costing the company money — big money — $100,000 a day for the rig alone not to mention the numerous subcontractors involved money. This project has been kind of, as he puts it, “snake bit from the get go”. Adding to the frustration is the fact that he is trying to manage the location from home and communications with all the players involved has been less than awesome. (That’s my terminology, not his.)

Still, I waited patiently for a break in the phone action to ask how I could help with our little project. It’s not that I can’t do home improvement projects by myself — I’ve done my fair share. But when it comes to figuring out angles to miter woodwork and running a compound miter saw, I have to pass. WAY too much multi-step action going on for my little ADD brain. To occupy myself while I waited, I started a load of laundry, plopped down at my laptop and checked my email, my blog, and everyone else’s blogs. Eight o’clock passed; then 10, then 11. By noon, he was still on the phone and I could tell by snippets of overheard conversation that things were not going well. He reluctantly made the decision that he needed to be on location — the sooner the better. He was extremely apologetic and I totally understood. While we have very different personalities, we do share a common work ethic. You do what you need to do to insure the best possible outcome – whether it’s painting a metallic gold and orange dining room for a guy who doesn’t know what he wants but knows what he “doesn’t want”, or managing a multi-million dollar gas storage project. I was disappointed, but not upset. I helped him get his things together and he was out the door within an hour.

So…what to do? It’s been so long since I’ve not had anything scheduled and I was relishing the fact that I didn’t have to be anywhere until 3:30 in the afternoon. Can you guess what I did? Yah, huh…I spent almost the entire day glued to my computer. I did manage to get a few loads of laundry done, empty the dishwasher, briefly visit with some friends (live and in person) and take the dog out occasionally. I am, after all, a multi-tasker. But for the most part, I sat on my butt and surfed the blogosphere. If it wasn’t for the fact that I have carpool duty this week, I might have never pulled myself away. I gotta admit, it was a guilty pleasure being so completely unproductive. And it’s not as if I got nothing accomplished. I was able to help Helen with some technical issues and provide Sherri with some much needed spiritual counseling. Plus, thanks to the lovely and talented Jamie, I found out that my profile view was blocked so nobody could access this site from other sites. (If you’ve tried before and failed — sorry about that! Hopefully, I won’t accidentally block my profile view again.) And while it’s not something I would feel good about doing on a regular basis, I’m feeling relatively guilt-free about my self-indulgent, slacktacular day. However, if by chance I ever do decide to become a full time, lap top couch potato, I really gotta get me a slanket!

Here’s how I looked at yesterday at 6:00 AM, noon and 2:00 PM:

(Please don’t hate me because I’m beautiful.)
(and as a matter of fact I DID wear this to the bus stop!)

Unbelieveable: This is NOT Butter!

So, I got an email last week from Jon Acuff. Actually, it was a reply to an email that I sent him earlier which, among other things, shamlessly hyperlinked a post I wrote about Sky Mall Catalog. Anyway…his reply was to let me know that he would be linking that post to his post, The hate mail mongoose (Or the pastor’s gift guide). Needless to say, I was pretty excited about the possibility of all those hits on my blog. (Why I would be excited about such self-aggrandizement* is something I should probably pray about.) But regardless, I began to think of ways to write a post that would be more “Jon Acuffish”. But then it occurred to me that the reason I like “Stuff Christians Like” so much is that it’s Jon being Jon. Funny, transparent, often profound, often gooberish Jon. So, for me, trying to write something like an SCL post would be as pathetic as the knock-off grocery store margarines trying to imitate “I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter!” with products like “You’d Think It’s Butter!”, or “Butter, It’s Not!”, or “Tastes Like Butter!”, or, my new personal favorite from my peeps on my mother’s side of the family: “Unbelieveable…This is not butter!” (Note the extra “e” in “unbelieveable” –That just CRACKS ME UP!) Sorry, I’m easliy amused.

Where was I? Oh yeah, the blog post. In the end, I just decided to do what I always do, which is write about whatever I happen to be thinking about at the time, which was, not surprisingly, Sky Mall. It wasn’t my favorite of the series, but I worked all day (painting for a new client) and I was tired and it really takes me a long time to cut and paste all those pictures (waa, waa, waa). I probably should have just left well enough alone — I actually really liked “Diary of a Mad Black Wiener Dog”, the post from the day before. (Which, incidentally I wrote in Google Docs, posted to my blog then immediately saved it as a draft because I wanted to schedule it for the following morning.) I only tell you that as an amusing (or not) aside because my crazy friend Helen managed to post a comment within the nano-second it was up on my blog that was funnier than the original post. But I digress…

I know a whole lot of people all over the world read “Stuff Christians Like”, but I had NO IDEA how many hits that hyperlink would generate! Now, I have enough of a grasp on reality to realize that the vast majority of people either read the post and said, “Eh…”, or saw my half-face profile view and said, “Oh no, not THAT smart *ss!” But for those of you who liked the post enough to be back for more today, I just want to say:


P. S. – For the record, if you’re wondering which of the Sky Mall posts was my favorite, I’ll tell you. Honestly, I like the first four very much. Like a mother with more than one child I would have to say, “they’re all my favorites for different reasons.” But if I were pressed, I would have to say that the Creepy Elvis post was my favorite for two reasons. The first being that for Sky Mall to promote that product is akin to leaving an ice cream truck unattended at a Weight Watchers convention — way too tempting. They were practically begging me to make fun of it. But the main reason I love that post is because it also featured another product called “The Slanket” and frankly, I LOVE saying that word! Slanket, slanket, SLANKET! (Like I said, I’m easily amused.)

P. P. S. – Angela, if you’re reading this, I’m afraid this post might edge out yours for the most hyperlink codes in a single blog post. And because you were the lone SCL commenter who came to my rescue in my hour of need, you deserve all the credit or the blame — depending on your perspective.

*A big shout out to Tim Keller for introducing me to the word “self-aggrandizement”. Cause I’m pretty sure he reads my blog…(yeeee-ah, right.)

Okay…that’s all I got. Thanks for your time. I know you’ve got other blogs to read! If you’re looking for some really good ones, just check out the ones on my sidebar — I dig ’em the most!

C. S. Lewis and Atheism

I have read a grand total of eight books by C. S. Lewis from cover to cover. Seven of them were “The Chronicles of Narnia” series and the other was a very short book called “The Screwtape Letters”. I love reading quotes by Lewis, but reading one of his books is, for me, akin to reading “Rocket Science: A Brief Overview” or “For the Love of Math”. Not really something I can just skim through. I’ve had a copy of “The Joyful Christian” for probably a year, but I also have a pile of other books on my nightstand with bookmarks in all of them. I’ve been a bit intimidated at the thought of cracking open this book, but I ventured a peek yesterday. I was relieved to find that it is a compilation of writings, most of which are 2 to 3 pages long: C. S. Lewis for the short attention span or “Lewis: The Cliff Notes Edition”. Oh yeah, I am all OVER that! Here an excerpt that Keller also quoted in “The Reason for God”:


My argument against God was that the universe seemed so cruel and unjust. But how had I got this idea of just and unjust? A man does not call a line crooked unless he has some idea of a straight line. What was I comparing this universe with when I called it unjust? If the whole show was bad and senseless from A to Z, so to speak, why did I, who was supposed to be part of the show, find myself in such violent reaction against it? A man feels wet when he falls into water, because man is not a water animal: a fish would not feel wet. Of course, I could have given up my idea of justice by saying it was nothing but a private idea of my own. But if I did that, then my argument against God collapsed too — for the argument depended on saying that the world was really unjust, not simply that it did not happen to please my private fancies. Thus in the very act of trying to prove that God did not exist — in other words, that the whole of reality was senseless — I found I was forced to assume that one part of reality — namely my idea of justice — was full of sense. Consequently atheism turns out to be too simple. If the whole universe has no meaning, we should never have found out that it has no meaning: just as, if there were no light in the universe and therefore no creatures with eyes, we should never know it was dark. Dark would be without meaning.

I don’t care who you are, that’s some good stuff, there. And I’m pretty sure Lewis has his hand on his head in the above picture because his brain is hurting. Have an awesome Sunday; you’re in my prayers.

Waste Not, Want Not

Lately I’ve been feeling pretty convicted about how wasteful I am. I’m constantly getting rid of things that I probably shouldn’t have bought in the first place — for me, for the kids, for the house — whatever. I think the thing that gets wasted most in this house is food. I’m the only one that really likes leftovers. It’s hard to gauge how much to cook because sometimes my kids eat like birds, and sometimes they eat like starving wildebeests. But as long as I get the spoiled food out of the fridge and into the garbage on trash pick up day, I don’t give it another thought. I know it doesn’t disappear. I know that there are landfills overflowing with all of our nasty crap. Truth be told, I don’t want to think about it.

I guess I’m thinking about it now because a) reading Mare’s Blog reminds me of just how much more we have in comparison to other parts of the world, and b) reading Matt’s Blog (The Church of No People) reminded me of an episode of Dirty Jobs that is, in a word, unforgettable. (Please note that Matt’s blog post had absolutely nothing to do with being wasteful, he just mentioned Mike Rowe and my ADD mind lead me here.) I’m not a squeamish person. But there was something about the following video that literally made me shudder. Like the farmer says in the video, “You get a whole new appreciation for the term: Waste not, want not.” Enjoy the video. It is equal parts disgusting and hilarious. Also, Mike Rowe is pretty dreamy, even if he is covered in pig slop.

P. S. – Just as an indication of how truly immature I am, I tivoed this episode and watched it over and over again like some 13 year old boy watching reruns of “Jack*ss”. Furthermore, if someone came over, I would make them watch it. My introduction would go something like this: “This is totally disgusting. You have to see it!…Wait, do you want to watch it again?”

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