Katdish.net

Welcome to my new website! Okay, I suppose technically it’s a blog, but “website” sounds more official and fancy. And I’m all up in official and fancy.

I’m still working on a few things–my blog roll page, specifically. And I still have a list of unreasonable demands I have yet to give to Peter Pollock, but it’s pretty much done for now.

Isn’t it roomy? I just love all the grey space. When I was researching what color to paint my office/studio, I wanted to find a color that best stimulated creativity. Do you know which color that is? Yeppers–grey. Of course, I didn’t paint my studio grey. I painted it kiwi green with black and red accents. But that’s neither here nor there. Where was I going with this? Oh, yeah…

Please feel free to roam around. I would love it if you click on the “But enough about me” tab and tell me a little about yourself. If you’re so inclined, I’d also like to invite you to sign up via Google Friends Connect and/or the RSS feed. (That would be that little orange square in the top right corner.)

A very special, huge THANK YOU to Peter Pollock of New Blog Hosting for hosting this site and for transferring the ideas in my head into what I think is a pretty cool looking and well functioning blog. I would thank John Saddington for the beautiful Standard Theme template, but he’s not following me on twitter anymore, so he’s dead to me. (Kidding. Sort of.)

Anyhoo, thanks for stopping by! Hope you like it!

Okay, so here’s the deal…

I have met some amazing people over the past year via this blog and others. However, there is a group of gals that have gone above and beyond the casual relationships ordinarily established on my blog and others. These women are my friends and my prayer warriors. As I sit and write this post, emails are flying fast and furious as we join to lift up another friend in prayer. I will unabashedly say that there’s not much I wouldn’t do for them, and I love them dearly. One of those women happens to be celebrating a birthday today. For a bit more background on this little posse, you can check out Annie’s post here.

Several months ago, I embarked on a ridiculously overambitious project of assigning fictional characters to blogger friends of mine. I really should update that…(But I digress…) Here’s what I wrote about Candy:

Candace (Candy) from Steele the Day as Phoebe Bouffet from “Friends”

So it seems that Candy is a bit of a health nut — kind of a granola girl. (Just like me, only completely different.) The only reason I know that she is older than I am is that she tells me that I remind her of her daughter and, she said she didn’t know who Heart was but was down with Sonny and Cher. I gotta tell you, that always throws me when she says stuff like that because she just seems really young at heart (must be the green tea). She’s not quite as nutty as Phoebe, but she has her moments!

UPDATE: I wrote that was when I was first getting to know Candy. She’s every bit as nutty as Phoebe! She is also hilarious, kind, compassionate and just wonderful all the way around. I hear she also makes some mean Chex mix in obscene quantities.

Happy Birthday Candy! I love ya, gal! Even if your husband still refuses to follow me on the twitter…

I’m not one to believe in curses, with one exception. The mother’s curse of “I hope you have kids just like you someday.” That one works — in spades. I have yet to use it on my kids, but they’re not teenagers yet, so it’s only a matter of time.

But you know what? It’s not only a curse, it’s also a blessing. Because let’s face it, we’re not all bad. There are things about yourself that you probably really like, so having a little Mini Me running around isn’t all bad. Both my kids look like me, only cuter. Much cuter. They’re both a combination of personality traits from my husband and me. They have their own exclusive traits that God has given them, too.

For the longest time, I’ve been trying to figure out how I got such a girly girl for a daughter. Now, as she’s getting older, I’m finding that she’s really not that girly. She likes girly clothes and all things Hannah Montana, but she’s also not afraid to get dirty and messy. She’s not a priss. If you’ve been reading awhile, you may remember the story about the pregnant, crazy turkey with diarrhea that she wrote about in school. That was the first indication of her sense of humor – much like mine.

Still, sometimes she takes me totally off guard. We went out to dinner the other night and as usual, she was chatting up a storm. (Still can’t quite figure out where that came from – but I digress.) Anyway, since this particular establishment does not provide kids menus with crayons for endless games of tic-tac-toe, she decided to play a word game with me:

“Mom. I want to play a game. I bet I can make you say brown.”

“Okay. Go for it.”

“What color is a tree trunk?”

“Sienna.”

“Mom, you don’t have to say something like brown, just any color.”

“Okay. Sienna.”

“What color is the wood on this table?”

“Purple.”

“What color is a wooden chair?”

“Red.”

“What color are the leaves on a tree?”

“Green.”

“Ah-ha! I made you say green!”

“You didn’t say anyhing about green, you said brown.”

“HA! I made you say brown!”

(That kid cracks me up. They both do, actually.)

If you have kids, how are they like you? Or how are you like your mom or dad?

Before I go any further, I want to clarify something. Almost without exception, every quote I have ever heard or read attributed to Gene Simmons would fit into the category of “Things that make you go Eweh!” But this one is really good.

This past Sunday marked the last Sunday C3 would meet as a core group. On Easter Sunday, we officially open our doors to the public — our “launch” Sunday. We considered an advertising campaign, but decided against it for now. Jeff shared a little about his experiences with the last church plant he was involved in. They had over 200 in attendance at their launch. Which is awesome. Unless, of course your lead guy was expecting 700 or more. At this point, I am tempted to point out the total ineffectiveness of sending out 75,000 mailers on four different occasions with a net return of one visitor, but I digress…

The following Sunday was an even bigger pill to swallow, as they had less than 100. How do you get excited about a measly 90 people when you are expecting 700 or more? The answer came from the drummer, Jason. (Who, I am happy to say, is now the drummer and core group member of C3.) Jason came to Christ as an adult, after living what many would consider a very prodigal son sort of life; and he is a testimony to God’s redemptive power through the life of a humble servant. (Sorry – brief explanation tangent.)

As the leadership team gathered before the service in a “group prayer huddle”, the funk of sadness and disappointment was visible in the hunched shoulders and downcast faces of those in the circle. The unspoken question on everyone’s lips seemed to be, “What now?”

Jason begins, “I’ve been reading the autobiographical story of KISS…” At this point, Jeff (who is the worship pastor and Jason’s best friend) is thinking, “Oooh–Kaaay, where’s he going with this?” Jason continues, “When asked what type of audience KISS was hoping to attract at a concert, Gene Simmons said:

What does the above picture have to do with grocery shopping? I have no idea. But when I did a google search for “I hate grocery shopping”, this picture came up. So I figured I’d give this guy some mad peanut props. But I digress…

Here’s something else kind of space/time continuum-ey. When I went shopping Friday afternoon, I had no idea Beth was going to do a post about grocery shopping, nor did I know I would be doing a post about grocery shopping. That is, until I happened to come across a cheese display at the local grocery store. People, it’s not like I’m out looking for blog fodder everywhere I go (Okay, maybe I am just a little.), but tell me, is it’s just me?:

Seemingly gracious wine and cheese steward from this angle, right? Not so fast!

Am I the only person who thinks this guy isn’t wearing any pants? I have passed by this particular display countless times! Since I don’t drink wine and I think those particular type of crackers are fairly nasty, I never really paid much attention. But please, Kroger! There are CHILDREN at this grocery store!

That is just wrong on so many levels. After be ocularly accosted in the rear of the store (pun intended), I figured I had everything I wanted and some things I didn’t. I composed myself and went to the check out line, paid for my groceries and headed out to the parking lot. As I was pulling out of the parking lot, my phone rings. It is my husband calling. “Are you still at the grocery store?” This means one of two things: 1) “How much longer are you going to be?” or 2) “I forgot to ask you to get me some jelly beans.” On this day, it was the latter. I really didn’t feel like going back to the store, as I was still visibly shaken by the pornographic cheese buttler. But since Katdish = obedient wife, I turned the car around and went back to get 3 bags of Jolly Rancher jelly beans. (They are the best.) Obviously, I didn’t get a cart or a basket. I can manage 3 bags of jelly beans all by myself, thank you very much.

So guess what? They’re on sale. They are ordinarily $2.99 per bag, but the sale price was 3 for $5.00. I call dh to ask him how many bags I was supposed to buy. Yep — six. “Oh, and by the way, we also need Cheetos, saltine crackers and tortilla chips.” Great! As if I don’t already look like a big enough tool walking around with 6 large bags of jelly beans. Might as well go for broke.

No, I do not heart grocery shopping — not even a little bit. But the candy aisle was somewhat educational. Have you heard about the new m&m special dark chocolate candies?

I always thought that because they were shiny looking, they were INDIVIDUALLY WRAPPED in foil. And seriously…who has that kind of time? But no! You EAT the shiny part:

Yeah. Still not so sure about that. But to end on a positive note, guess what they were selling in the bakery? (Cue the angelic, cherub choir.) Chocolate chip pumpkin muffin tops! Yum-O!

Now, that there is a muffin top I can give truly get behind.

The reason I support this event despite my slight distaste for some of the things it represents is this – The livestock show provides millions of dollars in college scholarship money for kids who have proven themselves responsible (and in financial need) by caring for and raising everything from chickens to cows – with every imaginable farm animal in between. Despite the pomp and circumstance associated with the event, it really is all about those kids. An event that actually rewards hard work and sacrifice. Go figure…

But enough about them. Let me tell you about my experience yesterday. I begin by telling you that we did not attend the carnival (with lots of very cool rides), the exhibition hall (with all the award winning livestock and cool educational stuff), or the shopping (with everything imaginable available for purchase – not just tacky, rhinestone encrusted clothing that most drag queens wouldn’t be caught dead in).

The doors to Reliant Stadium opened at 3:15 PM. Since we arrived early to beat the traffic (obviously, I was not driving), Ron found a bathroom while perused the gift shop; not to actually buy any of that tacky crap, but to take pictures with my camera phone. I’m always thinking of you, my dear reader. You’re welcome. Three guesses as to what this is:

(Hint – it is NOT the love child of Frosty the Snowman and The Berenstein Bears). Give up? It’s a sheep. Wha-huh? Apparently some sheep don’t have ears. That’s just weird. ($8.11)(?!) Okay, here’s another one:

Now, if you live in Houston, you probably know that this is Howdy, the ten gallon hat and boot wearing “H” present at every rodeo. ($2.99) Howdy, Howdy! Now here’s a news flash. Chuckie is alive and well, living in Houston as part of the Federal Witness Protection Program:
Oh, sure…he’s cleaned up his act a bit. But I never turned my back on him!

The above picture was taken during what is called the “Grand Entry”. This is where major contributors mount horses and/or horse drawn carriages and parade around in the dirt in a big circle. I refer to this as the “People who could buy and sell you 3 times over wearing starched blue jeans and endangered species boots parade around on horses parade”. But in the interest of brevity, I suppose “Grand Entry” is a good choice.

On every day other than the closing day, you will see a bunch of rodeo stuff – calf roping, bareback riding, etc. But on the last day, there is only two events: the calf scramble:(This is awesome, btw. Kids running around attempting to tackle a bunch of calves, roping them, and then dragging them into a big square in the middle of the arena.) They might be baby cows, but they’re pretty doggone strong!

I won’t bore you while I wax poetic about how fantastic ZZ Top was (they were). I dig those guys –especially considering the fact that jamming out to Jesus just left Chicago was the closest thing to worship music I knew in the 80’s, but I digress… I did want to share a picture that Todd Owyoung has graciously allowed me to use – check out Frank Beard’s drum kit! (By the way, you should totally check out his blog – his concert pictures are amazing.)Billy Gibbons, Dusty Hill and Frank Beard: All 59 years old Houston boys, and still rockin!

Disclaimer: Yes, that is a pricey Fossil purse with paint on it. But in my defense, it was a gift from my sister. She feels sorry for me because I have chosen to live a life devoid of overpriced accessories, so she buys me expensive purses, Pandora bracelets with coordinating overpriced beads to go with, and other fancy stuff for Christmas and birthdays. I had no idea how much that purse costs until I went to get one without paint on it. After pricing them, I decided my purse had character. I bet no one else in town has a chocolate brown Fossil Sutter Crossbody flap bag (don’t think I didn’t have to do a Google image search to figure out what kind of purse it is) with off-white trim paint strategically dabbed on the credit card zipper pouch. Katdish: trendsetter (CHECK!)

I’m really liking Twitter. There. I said it. (How’s that for a segue, huh?) Now, I’ll also say this: my friend Steph at the Red Clay Diaries was right. Yeah, Steph. You guilted me into it, but I’m glad I came around. It’s really opened up a whole new world of Internet peeps for me, and as you all know, I don’t spend nearly enough time on the computer. For example, this chick named
Mandy Thompson started following me. So I go check out her twitter page and her blog. Turns out, she’s just like me, except that she’s an incredibly gifted musician and is cool. She thinks I’m cool, too. But let’s not let that cat out of the bag just yet. She’ll figure out what a dork I am sooner or later.

Anyway, Mandy recently wrote a post dedicated to stuff in her purse. It looked really professional with corresponding letters to the stuff all nicely laid out. There was a purpose for everything she had in there. Contrast that to Steph’s post awhile back about stuff in her purse. Which is waaayyyy closer to what is in my purse. As it should be, as we are the same person, just in the alternate universes of Texas and Georgia. But I digress…

I really liked the way Mandy lettered the items. So, in attempt to copy her (cuz she’s cool), I attempted to do the same with the items in my purse. You would think that someone who actually paints murals and custom artwork as a trade would be able to use the paintbrush function on her computer. And you would be wrong. Painting with a mouse is nothing like painting with a paintbrush. I pretty much suck at it. But still, it took me a long time to designate letters to items from my purse in no particular order, so I’m going with it. Ladies and gentlemen, the ABC’s of crap in my purse:

A) Rudy the cat. He is not now, nor has he ever been in my purse.
B) My second Blackberry. I upgraded from my first Blackberry when my dh decided he needed an iPhone. Some people never get a brand new car. I never get a brand new PDA. (Not that I’m complaining, mind you. I dig it.)
C) My business cards, “Ragamuffin Child Interiors” I realize the “child” part is redundant, as the definition of a ragamuffin is “a shabbily dressed child”. But would you hire a painter whose company name is “A shabbily dressed child Interiors”? Me thinks not.
D) Large stack of random receipts. I think it’s important to keep receipts. Why? Because my husband says so.
E) Pens that I can never find, but have obviously always been in there.
F) Giveaway mirror from my old church.
G) Oil blotting sheets. People, I am very shiny! Those paper toilet seat liners are also great for blotting the excess oil from your face, but by using the little blue sheets you will draw way less attention to yourself in the ladies room. (You’re just gonna have to trust me on this one.)
H) Orbit gum – I tease Pete Wilson about chewing gum during interviews, but I’m a fairly prolific gum chewer myself. (Don’t tell him I said that.)
I) Eye wetting drops from when I had lasik surgery a year ago. Hey, you never know.
J) Broken pieces from a cheap tic tac toe game that my daughter asked me to hold for her last month.
K) No-slip ponytail holder. I swear by those, especially if you have thick hair.
L) Leftover nail glue and orange stick that I used to apply Lee press-on nails to my ugly man-hands whist attending Catalyst One Day in Alpharetta, GA.
M) Several tubes of lipstick that I almost never wear. Also, one of them is a highlighter.
N) A Speert purse hook. You set the square part down on the edge of a table, and then you can hook your purse on it. Another fancy gift from my sympathetic sister. I’ve used it once: the day she gave it to me at lunch.
O) Bed, Bath & Beyond and Linens n’ Things 20% coupons. You never know when you’ll need to buy someone a Snuggie. (I know LNT is out of business – I threw it away.)
P) A bulletin from a church where we guest-led worship a couple of Sundays ago. (Okay, it was mid-January. Are you beginning to see a trend here?)
Q) Business account checkbook.
R) A bag of gourmet coffee that they were giving out at Catalyst One Day.
S) A bag of airline pretzels.
T) A foil pack of Gas-X. (I know, I know — TMI.)
U) A copy of “Making your Mark: How to leave long, annoying comments on other People’s Blogs” by Wordy McTypesalot. You never know when someone’s going to ask you for your autograph. It hasn’t actually happened yet, but I’m ready!
V) Wallet by “The Sack”. I love that wallet, but I don’t keep any credit cards or ID in there. It’s basically a fancy junk drawer for my purse. I’m pretty sure Waldo’s in there.
W) Credit card zipper pouch where I actually keep my credit cards and ID. Incidentally, I almost never use credit cards. I should take most of those out of there and put them in my wallet.
X) Huh….apparently, there is no “X”. But I’m not redoing that picture! (Man, I hope Angela doesn’t read this. That will drive her nuts! I swear, Angela; I did not do that on purpose this time.)
Y) Tres muchos denaro. (Dang. I’m practically bilingual!)
Z) Correct change for nothing in particular.

I suppose my purse (and the center console in my Jeep) are very much like this:

To my guy readers. Sorry. I hope you didn’t get any girl cooties while reading this post. I’ll try to write a post with some fart humor and/or gratuitous violence to make up for this one.

Wow. That was a really long post about the contents of my purse. I’m actually kind of embarrassed. But not embarrassed enough not to publish it. (Hit “publish post”.)

No. I’m not on the outs with my hubby. “Dave” is my new laptop table, silly! You might be thinking, “She names her furniture? That’s weird even for katdish.” The thing is, IKEA (pronounced, “eye-eek-kee” by my Japanese mother, but I digress) named my laptop table. You would think that a laptop table from IKEA would have a name like FREDRIK, or HANNES, or GUSTAV, or LUDVIG, with annoying special characters over the vowels. Incidentally, those are all actual names of computer work stations available from IKEA. (And you thought I didn’t research my blog posts. Humph!) But no, in a sea of snotty Euro trash workstations, there sat Dave. Quiet, unassuming little Dave. For $29.99, I knew my purchase of him would be the start of a beautiful friendship:

While I’m thinking about it, I should tell you that shopping at IKEA on a Saturday is a pretty dumb thing to do, unless you have a burning desire to shop shoulder to shoulder with lots of other people and then wait in a long line to check out behind a couple of guys who are stocking up to go into the restuarant business and in front of a woman who decides she really doesn’t want the pillows that her infant son has drenched with drool. But once again, I digress…

Once I was finally home, Dave was assembled within minutes. He was everything I had hoped for and more:

This is Dave in his new home: my quiet little retreat I like to call “my studio”. I’ve only written one post on him, but I look forward to many more. Some of you might be saying, “But what about Planky? He has been there for you from the start! Are you going to abandon your loyal friend after so many months of loyal service?” No, peeps. Alas, I am typing on Planky as we speak:

I still love Planky. I like to type on him when my hubby is home because while I’m not sitting next to him, at least I can see him while he’s in his office. We’re all one, big happy family!

BTW – That is my cat Rudy in the picture. And no, his eyes don’t actually shine like tiny orbs of evilness. Here’s how he usually looks:

Oooooh, Shiny!