Katdish.net

image courtesy of photobucket.com

Who among you is old enough to remember the Euryththmics? I sure do. Back in the day when they actually played music videos on MTV and VH1. Ah, good times. I loved that band immediately. Not so much because of Annie Lennox’s voice–which I think is great–but because they were freaks. Unapologetic freaks at that. Finally, some role models!

I’ve always been told I have a vivid imagination. Okay, not really. When I was a kid, the most common descriptive of me was “That girl is weird”. And perhaps to give strength to that assessment, when people told me I was weird, I always took it as a compliment. Now I’m all grown up, married to a man who is decidedly not weird, and have two children of my own.

Since my creativity wasn’t really nurtured or encouraged as a child (I’m not bitter about this, my family just didn’t know what to make of me), it gives me a huge sense of pride when I see creativity in my own kids. My son is an avid reader, and while he doesn’t write often, when he does it’s usually well written. He’s also a great golfer and a pretty decent French horn player. (In my unbiased, motherly opinion, of course.)

My daughter, while she definitely has her own distinct personality, has a tendency to think like me; to take seemingly unrelated objects and put them together to form something completely new. Sometimes the results are whimsical or even incredible functional. Other times…

Well, other times they’re just downright scary. To me, anyway. Take her latest creation:

This is a decorative dressmaker's stand. I bought it for her thinking it would be a good place hang purses, scarves or even play dress up with.

And she did use it for dress-up. This is a little ballet dress from a performance a few years ago. So far, so good.

Okay, this is where we take a little leap outside the box:

Stick horse inserted through the neck of the dressmaker's stand. Things are getting a little creepy.

Not creepy? Okay, maybe it’s just me:

How about now?

Perhaps I’ve seen The Godfather too many times. Or perhaps I’ve read too many Stephen King novels. Specifically, The Dark Tower series. Here’s an illustration from The Dark Tower:

I don’t worry about my daughter having nightmares. I don’t think she thinks there’s anything at all scary or creepy about her…whatever that thing is.

It’s MY nightmares I’m concerned about:

Sweet dreams, people! Mwha ha ha!

In light of the fact that Halloween is just around the corner (and that a certain blogger/author is a little busy right now), I’ve decided to re-run a post Billy Coffey wrote for this blog last year. I certainly enjoyed this peek into Billy’s secret fears just as much this time around. Besides, it’s given me some great Christmas gift ideas. Here’s Billy:

It’s a little ironic that though I tend to be a bit picture kind of guy, it’s hours and days I’m more interested in than months and years. What’s happening down the road doesn’t really concern me. What’s happening now does. This is why I tend to pay much more attention to my watch than my calendar.

This is also why it’s a good thing God made department stores. Otherwise, I would not know what holiday is upon us.

The department stores here say that Halloween will be soon. There are costumes and candy and ghouls and, even, greeting cards. You know you’ve arrived as a holiday when you get your own greeting cards. Halloween is getting big.

And I think it should be big, if for no other reason than it focuses upon one of the great issues of our lives.

Fear.

In the interest of writing-frees-the-soul, I can confess that I normally do not talk about my fears. I’ll even go so far as to say that I go to certain lengths to maintain the lie that I do not have any. I do have fears. Many, in fact. And I don’t care who you are, how tough you happen to be, or how much faith you have, you’re scared of something, too.

However. The thing about fear is that it’s often a very big shadow of a very little thing. Dragging it out into the light and seeing it for what it is can be a liberating experience, or so I’ve heard. So it’s along those lines that I will blaze the trail for anyone else who might read this and admit those things that send a shiver up my spine and force me to sleep with the light on.

Zombies


Ghosts? Ghosts don’t bother me. And I laugh at monsters. Vampires run from ME. But zombies freak me out. I think it’s the slow but steady movement. Zombies are patient, and I don’t understand patience. Honestly, the whole taste for human flesh thing doesn’t really bother me as much as the ratty clothes, the pale skin, and that “AAAHHHH” sound they make. Zombies are the worst creatures in the world. I don’t care who you are, if you turn into a zombie and come at me, I’ma killin’ you.

Clowns


The fear of clowns is shared by so many people that it actually has a clinical name—coulrophobia. Stephen King wrote about Pennywise the Clown in It. John Wayne Gacy, one of the worst serial killers in history, dressed as Pogo the Clown for children’s birthday parties. And who can forget Crazy Joe Davola on Seinfeld? He dressed as a clown, too. And he was crazy.

Ventriloquist Dummies

This is the animatronic Elvis, a singing and talking robotic bust adorned with The King’s trademark leather jacket, sideburns, and pompadour, recalling the musical icon’s performance during the highest-rated television event of 1968 — Elvis Presley’s Comeback Special. The device sings eight of Elvis’ most acclaimed songs including Hound Dog, Love Me Tender, and Jailhouse Rock, and the mouth, eyes, and head movements are synchronized with the music, replicating his unique facial expressions (including the curled upper lip) and baritone voice. Integrated infared sensors in his jacket detect ambient motion, prompting Elvis to say “Bring it on back now” or another famous Elvis remark as you walk by, and the device has 37 monologues recorded from interviews that play at a touch of a button, each reflecting on the life and career of the The King. A karaoke feature allows you to sing along with Elvsi and the device has an audio port for connecting an MP3 player or another audio source, allowing you to play your own music through Elvis’s 10-watt speaker. Includes a remote control, 1/4″ microphone jack, and an AC/DC adapter. Remote requires three AAA batteries. 20-1/4″ H x 13-3/4″ D x 21-3/4″ L. (10 lbs.)

Product Review: “This is the perfect gift for a big Elvis Fan. To sing along, you need to buy a separate mic…but it’s great. So life like it’s scary.Gender: Male
Age: 31-35
“So life like it’s scary.” I’ll tell you what’s scary, Mr. Male age 31-35. What’s scary is that you actually paid $200 plus shipping and handling for this future entry into the Creepshow Hall of Fame. I don’t even want to think about anyone actually plugging in a separate mic and singing along with dead Elvis. To truly appreciate how very frightning this thing is, you must see it in action. (Warning: Not recommended for young children or those of you with weak constitutions!)

Since I am, after all, one of those “glass half full” kind of gals, I feel obligated to say something positive about Creepy Elvis. So here goes: You could probably prop him up on some phone books in your car’s passenger seat and be able to drive in the HOV (high occupancy vehicle) lane during peak traffic hours. I guess every cloud truly does have a silver lining!

I know I said in my previous post that I was going to feature this product by itself, but I feel obligated to share with those of you actually considering purchasing Creepy Elvis another product that would most likely appeal to you as well. Ladies and Gentlemen, may I present:

“The Slanket” $44.99

Here’s the best blanket – hands down – for snuggling up with a book or laptop computer. Put your arms in the 13″ -wide sleeves and then turn pages, type, knit or do anything else with your hands without uncovering your body. The generously sized Slanket in midweight polyester fleece feels great and keeps you warm indoors or out. Machine wash and dry. 60″ W x 95″ L. Available in five colors. Please note: deep fried peanut butter, mayonnaise and bacon sandwich not included.