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The revealing Billy Coffey multiple choice interview

Over the past five years, Billy Coffey has done a variety of interviews. In addition to multiple online and print interviews, he has also appeared on the PBS affiliate in Washington, D.C., a morning news show in in Richmond, VA and has participated in a few radio phone interviews. I remember listening to his first on-air live interview when his debut novel, Snow Day came out. The scheduled interviewer had read the book and liked it. Unfortunately, something came up at the last minute and she had to bow out. Instead, the interview was conducted by a guy who knew nothing about the book, Billy or how to conduct an interview. He was clearly unprepared and more than a little distracted. He spent most of the interview talking about himself and at one point, stopped to feed his cat.

Stock image from google images. Not the actual interviewer.

Stock image from google images. Not the actual interviewer.

Yes. You read that right. He fed his cat, which you could hear meowing in the background. Billy was a real pro and tried his best to steer the conversation back to the book, but I swear I haven’t cringed so many times since I heard Roseanne Barr sing the National Anthem.Screen Shot 2014-03-16 at 8.41.52 PM

Aside from that rocky start, I’ve found Billy’s interviews to be interesting and informative. Most tend to focus on story lines and the craft of writing, which makes sense–he’s a writer trying to market his books, after all.

But I thought we would take a little detour from all things literary and writerly and do a little “out of the box” multiple choice Q&A with everyone’s favorite fancy redneck, Billy Coffey.

Bill, (can I call you Bill?) thanks for taking time out of your busy day to answer a few questions here at katdish.net!

Like I had a choice. I’m busy, so let’s hurry this up. Unlike some people, I have a job.

And don’t ever call me Bill.

I suppose you’re right. Helping make other people’s dreams come true really isn’t a job. It’s more like mission work. It sure pays like mission work. And speaking of me, here’s your first question:

****

1) Which TV work relationship do you think best reflects our working relationship?

A) Shaun Spencer & Burton Guster from Psych

B) Jack Bauer & Chloe O’Brian from 24

A) Jack Bauer & Chloe O'Brian from 24

“DAMMIT CHLOE!!!”

C) Chief Deputy U.S. Marshal Art Mullen & Deputy Raylan Givens from Justified

Chief Deputy Art Mullen: Just what part of “under investigation” confuses you?
Raylan Givens: So many things confuse me, Art.

D) George Costanza and George Steinbrenner from Seinfeld

Screen Shot 2014-03-16 at 9.20.15 PM

Mr. Steinbrenner: Nice to meet you.
George: Well, I wish I could say the same, but I must say, with all due respect, I find it very hard to see the logic behind some of the moves you have made with this fine organization. In the past 20 years you have caused myself, and the city of New York, a good deal of distress, as we have watched you take our beloved Yankees and reduce them to a laughing stock, all for the glorification of your massive ego!
Mr. Steinbrenner: Hire this man!

E) Dr. Frasier Crane and Agent BeBe Glazer from Frasier

Screen Shot 2014-03-16 at 10.15.05 PM

Bebe: Frasier, we have to talk.
Frasier: Are you aware that you are in the men’s room?
Bebe: Oh, please, if I paid attention to signs with little pictures on them – I would never get a parking space.

F) All of the Above

G) None of the Above

I’ll go with G, assuming that I’m Gus, Chloe, Art, George, and Frasier.

****

2) You have an irrational fear of

A) The Zombie Apocalypse
Screen Shot 2014-03-16 at 9.42.01 PM

B) Big cities
Screen Shot 2014-03-16 at 9.45.57 PM

C) Eccentric medium Tangina Barrons from the movie Poltergeist
Screen Shot 2014-03-16 at 9.49.44 PM

D) Ice Cream Trucks
Screen Shot 2014-03-16 at 9.53.12 PM

E) All of the Above

F) None of the Above

Are you kidding me? I couldn’t even get through that list without dry heaving. E.

****

3) When traveling on business, after leaving the airport you typically

A) Check into the hotel, find the nearest Starbucks with wifi, sit down and get some writing done.
Working from Starbucks

B) Hail a taxi and ask the driver to take you to a few local hot spots or points of interest.
Taxi

C) Look up a few locals and ask them to meet you for lunch or dinner.
Dinner with Friends

D) Go straight to your hotel room, order room service then barricade yourself in your room by pushing the largest piece of furniture you can find up against the door.
Barring the door

E) All of the Above.

F) None of the Above.

D. Isn’t that what everyone does? I mean, come on. It’s THE CITY. If city folks came to where I live, they’d do the same.

****

4) You’ve written about your father before. Most recently in an article you wrote for The Good Men Project, A Father’s Long Shadow. Which on-screen father/son relationship would you say is most representative of your relationship with your father?

A) Andy Taylor and Opie of The Andy Griffith Show
Andy and Opie

B) Martin and Dr. Frasier Crane of Frasier
Frasier and Martin

C) Jackson and Leroy Jethro Gibbs of NCIS
Gibbs and father

D) Sheriff Buford T. Justice and Junior of Smokey and the Bandit
Buford T. Justice and Junior

E) All of the Above

F) None of the Above

I wish I could say the Gibbs’s, but I could sue the writers of Smokey and the Bandit for basically stealing my childhood story.


****

I’ve saved the hardest question for last.

5) If you were only allowed to watch three television shows for the rest of your life, but were given access to all episodes, which three would you choose and why?

FrasierMonk

Psych

PerceptionLost

CastleFringe

Ed

Person of InterestElementary

24NCIS

The OfficeSeinfeld

Twilight ZoneSherlock

The Andy Griffith ShowJustified

Sweet fancy Moses. Okay—Justified, Castle, Ed, Sherlock, and Frasier. Yes, that’s five instead of three. But that’s what you deserve for not putting any sci-fi AT ALL on that list. No Battlestar Galactica? No Eureka? No Star Trek?

I’m done with this interview.

***

I suppose I’ll allow the five rather than three, even though in some circles The Twilight Zone and Fringe would be considered sci-fi.

I keep forgetting what a hopeless nerd you are.

NOT Billy as a child. Just a reasonable facsimile.

NOT Billy as a child. Just a reasonable facsimile.

It’s the hat that throws me off, I guess.

Thanks again for taking time for this interview, Billy. And no, you really didn’t have a choice. Now get back to work.

Newman!********************************************

For those of you who are still with us, now is your opportunity to win a signed copy of Billy Coffey’s fourth novel, The Devil Walks in Mattingly. Just leave a comment here. A winner will be chosen at random on Thursday, March 27, 2014.

But wait…there’s more! Win a Kindle HDX from Billy Coffey in “The Devil Walks in Mattingly” Giveaway!

Win a Kindle HDX!
The Devil Walks in Mattingly Billy Coffey

In the meantime, it would be great if you could help get the word out about the book by sharing links via social media, reviews or just good old fashioned word of mouth. I’ve provided some links below:

Billy’s website: http://billycoffey.com
(Be sure to sign up to receive new posts via email. He writes good short stories, too!)

Twitter: @billycoffey

Pinterest: http://www.pinterest.com/mattinglyva/

Facebook Author Page: https://www.facebook.com/billycoffeywriter

Join the Launch Team: Devil Walks in Mattingly Launch Team

Thanks for helping spread the word about Billy’s latest (and greatest, I think), The Devil Walks in Mattingly. I’ll notify the winner via email next Friday.

Good Luck!