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Due to overwhelming reader response (and by “overwhelming reader response” I mean Mare said she was sad I wasn’t going to blog about it anymore), I have reconsidered my decision about my Sky Mall gift guide, Katdish’s Holiday Gift Guide Parts One, Two, Three and Four. Since there are so few shopping days until to Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, Winter Solstice, and of course the beloved Festivus, this won’t be so much a holiday gift guide as it will be my expert recommendations about all things Sky Mall. So, without further adieu, here are my next recommendations:

For the Delusions of Grandeur Sports Fanatic:

While your favorite ex-high school football, basketball, baseball or hockey star may seem perfectly content to relive his glory days eating pork rinds, drinking a cold beverage and watching ESPN while curled up in a slanket on his favorite recliner, wouldn’t he be the envy of all his buddies if you were to give him one of these fine items?:

The “Actual Un-retouched Photo of Me before the unfortunate groin injury” Photo Collage:

Surround yourself in action with four top players from your favorite NFL team. Your last name appears on the back of your favorite NFL team jersey and your full name appears as the #1 draft pick. This 11″H x 14″W print is handsomely framed and ready to hang. All NFL teams available (players and numbers may vary). Up to 12 characters for jersey name and 18 characters for first and last name. ($89.99)

The Official Collectibles Company of the New York Yankees Base:
These official bases were used during actual games played at the most famous venue in all of sports. Get your hands on some of the rarest of all collectibles! Comes with a Steiner Sports Certificate of Authenticity. ($999.99) A bargain at half the price!

NHL Customized 13″H x 16″W x 1″D Framed Print – Premium. Comes displayed with premium wood frame which is step molded wood with a mahogany finish. ($89.99) Coupon for free dental work for the first 100 orders!

For the Hypochondriac Germophobe:

Most of us wash our hands when we’re supposed to and attempt to live a reasonably healthy lifestyle. But why not pay homage to those among us who have raised personal cleanliness to a true art form?

The “Keep Your Distance” Bug Zapper:

Do you have ANY IDEA how many diseases the common house fly can carry? With this handy little device, you’ll never even have to come in contact with them: This cordless insect vacuum quickly captures bugs from up to 2′ away. Flies, bees, spiders, and other insects are suctioned by a 22,400-rpm motor, sending the insect through a one-way valve in the extension tube to an electric grid in the handle that instantly kills the pest. ($49.95)

The Hand held steam cleaner:

This Antimicrobial Hand-held Steam Cleaner sanitizes surfaces and floors for up to seven days by integrating antibacterial solution into the powerful steam to keep surfaces clean for up to a week. This European-designed, all-in-one steam cleaner uses an ingenious new patented process with push-button ease. ($99.99) Not recommended for use on children and pets.

Oh, there’s so much more in this delightful little catalog of ridiculous excess! I could go on, but I’m tired and I’ve missed the last two tivo’ed episodes of “The Office”. So, until next time, remember that just because there’s a downturn in economy and many worthy charities will no doubt see a big decrease in donations this year, that doesn’t mean that God doesn’t want you live a life of victory with lots, and lots of stuff!

As we learned in the first installment of Katdish’s Holiday Gift Guide, nothing exceeds like excess. And since Thanksgiving is now a distant memory, there’s no doubt that there are only a few among you who have yet to decorate your humble abodes in holiday splendor. Let us proceed with some clever gift ideas for everyone on your buying list this year.

For the Over-Indulgent Parent:

While phrases like, “It’s more important what’s on the inside than what’s on the outside” are all well and good for less attractive children, your little princess deserves only the very best! “Add an attractive and useful addition to your little girl’s room with this daisy pastel vanity. It is a perfect furniture for their make-up, brushes, barrettes and jewelries. It maximizes the space in their room while keeping their fashion accessories organized.” ($189.99)

Stuffed animals are a dime a dozen. If those tiny Webkins and Shining Star animals are all the rage, just imagine how grateful your kids will be when they see this bad boy under the tree! “Our gorgeous Giraffe makes a big statement. Featuring soft and cuddly plush and life-like features this beauty is sure to be family favorite for years to come. Featuring premium plush and an internal frame to keep upright. Giraffe filled with synthetic fibers. Size 22″l x 14″w x 59.5″h, Weight 12 lbs. Imported. (Age 3+)” (99.99)

Has your little train engineer grown tired of playing with his Thomas the Train railroad set? I mean, sure — buying the complete set may have put you back a few grand, but how can you put a price on childhood memories? Let him experience the thrill of riding the rails with his very own Lionel Pedal Train! Train includes all-steel construction, adjustable pedals, chrome bell, realistic locomotive sounds, padded seat, and beautiful finish. Ride-on maximum capacity of 100 lbs. Seat to pedal 16-19″. Size 46″l x 18″w x 25″h, Weight 39 lbs. Imported. (Age 2-6) Please note the weight limit of 100 lbs. — not recommended for fat kids. ($319.99)

Isn’t it cute when other parents brag about how their little Johnny got an “A” in science class? You could point out to them that their kid is in regular classes while yours is in the “gifted and talented” program, but that would be condescending. Just invite them over the next time your kid pulls out his Fuel Cell Car and Experiment. “Winner of the Silver Award from the Parents Choice Foundation, this experiment kit gives children a fun, hands-on way to discover fuel cells, one of the most significant technologies of the 21st century. This kit makes 30 distinct experiments, including a car that uses solar power and a fuel cell to separate water into hydrogen and oxygen by electrolysis, and then runs on the resulting energy. Experiments cover electrolysis and its effect on water, how to construct and load a reversible fuel cell, decomposition of water in a fuel cell, and many others. Contains all necessary parts, tools, and a
lab manual (distilled water not included). Ages 12 and up. Made in Germany. 5-1/2″ H x 5″ W x 8″ L. (1 lb.)” ($149.95)

It’s tons of fun for kids to spend a day at the amusement park or water slide. But let’s face it, places like that are often frequented by some pretty undesirable folks. Why not let your kids enjoy the essence of the park without exposing them to the seedier elements of society?

Thrill Zone includes a bouncing area with netted sidewalls, a climbing wall with handles and footholds, a water slide with side rails, a pool at the slide landing, and a tunnel. Top arch with sprinkler system. Entrance ramp with Velcro closure. Durable PVC unit includes water bags and stakes for added stability, and a 110volt blower pump. 228″ L x 92″ W x 81″ H. Weight limit 100
lbs. per section (500 lbs. total).($699.99)

I can already hear some of you now, “Kat, I don’t have any human kids, aren’t you forgetting about our little four-legged variety?” Well, of course not! This next section is just for you.

For The Over-Indulgent Pet Owner

Since many reading this are now experiencing cold weather, it seems cruel to expect little Bella or Baxter to brave the elements just because they have to tinkle! Even those of us who are still enjoying milder weather would agree that taking a dog out in the humid, damp air would be disastrous to their newly coiffed and groomed coats! That’s why I love this next product, the Indoor Dog Restroom. This mat and tray system gives dogs a place to relieve themselves when they can’t go outside for a respite. This ingenious system uses a mat made of antimicrobial, porous artificial turf that gives off an organic scent to attract dogs, so they can be taught quickly that it is an acceptable spot for relieving themselves. The tray is easy to empty and can hold up to 2 gallons of liquid. Sure, to the casual observer it looks like a door mat on a cookie sheet, but you and I know better! ($149.95, replacement mat $64.95)

Don’t worry cat lovers, I haven’t forgotten you! How many times have you said to yourself, “That big, stinky litter box seems so crude! Doesn’t my cat deserve the dignity of using her very own toilet?” Well, of course she does! For hands-free cat box care, you can’t beat the Cat Genie. Just press a button and the world’s most advanced litter box flushes away cat waste, then washes, sanitizes and dries the entire area. You can even preset the controls to do it automatically every
day. ($299.99)

We’ve covered a couple of products to make your favorite canine or feline feel like part of the family, but what about your fish? Don’t you imagine that they get kind of lonely way over on the back wall away from direct sunlight? Treat Bubbles to his new home right in the middle of the action with his very own Aqua Coffee Table. After all, fish have feelings too! ($529.95)

That conclude this edition of Katdish’s Holiday Gift Guide. I know many of you are hankerin’ to go online and start your shopping, but wait…there’s more to come. For those of you who want to beat the Christmas rush on these items and choose to order today, make sure to tell them at Sky Mall that Katdish sent you…

On second thought, maybe you should leave my name out of it.

Since our final destination for Thanksgiving this year was some 15 hours by car, my hubby (God bless him) decided to pony up for all of us to fly the friendly skies. The experience far exceeded my expectations. The check-in lines were not long, the experience going through airport security was relatively painless, and even though we were flying on cattle-car Southwest Airlines, we were able to get some pretty decent seats. To add to this glorious experience (for us, not for Southwest), the airplane was only half full. My son was able to have an entire row of seats to himself — thereby eliminating the need to engage “arm rest wars” with his sister for 2 hours and 25 minutes. My Thanksgiving Day travel experience left me with a real “Attitude of Gratitude”.

A funny thing happens when you write a blog (for me, anyway). Everyday, seemingly mundane experiences, in the hands of a seasoned blogging veteran (going on 8 months now – “I’ve come a long way, baby!”), are a never ending source for blog fodder. So what do you think I’m going to write about? Are you guessing that I will speak to the amazing physics behind a 80,000 pound, winged metal tube that is able to fly through the air? (You’ve obviously found this blog by mistake.) Perhaps you think I will write about the generous amounts of food (mini pretzels) and drink (ice laden plastic cups with approximately 2 ounces of your favorite canned beverage) they lavishly bestow on you. Did you guess that I might share with you my deep philosophical views on the subject of flight attendants and their “you’re lucky I’m even speaking to you” attitudes? (Actually, they were all pretty nice.) No, no, and no. What, pray tell, is the focus of this particular post? Well, silly! It’s Sky Mall!

For those of you who are not familiar with Sky Mall , it is a delightful little catalog that can be found in the seat pockets of most commercial airplanes. It is a literal extravaganza of a bunch of overpriced crap that nobody needs. How truly American! Truth be told, this catalog was such a wealth of material that I am forced to write a series of posts. I sense that you are all giddy with anticipation, so let me begin.

Katdish’s Holiday Gift Guide! (Part One)

Oh, what to give this year? Most of us have so much that we are either stuffing our closets, attics and basements to the brim or are looking for ways to get rid of the items that no longer have the sparkly shimmer of newness. But because I realize nothing says “I love you the most” like an overpriced gift, I am endeavoring to provide some gift ideas for even the most discriminating person on your Christmas list. For your shopping convenience, I have categorized items by the potential recipient of such extravagant awesomeness.

Let’s kick things off with the most important person on your gift giving guide. Namely YOU! And what better way to get everyone in the holiday spirit than some over-the-top seasonal yard art?

Tacky Holiday Decor

Nativity Set: What better way to express the true meaning of Christmas than a full color, pre-lit, blinged out Nativity Scene? Show all your neighbors that you heart Sweet Baby Jesus! And at the low, low price of $579.94 for the entire set, you might even consider buying one for your heathen neighbor.

Pre-Lit Bethlehem Star: If you’ve decided to purchase the Nativity Set, then all your neighbors are sure to see just how holy you are. But are you missing out on an opportunity to witness to those who may be traveling past your house via low flying aircraft? Never fear, this “majestic 7′ x 10′ tall lighted Bethlehem star creates a beautiful display on your roof that is sure to capture your neighbor’s attention!” A mere $59.99

I don’t know about you, but nothing brings back sweet, childhood Christmas memories like “a giant inflatable, illuminated, animated 14′ long Christmas train!” When it comes to capturing the magic of Santa Claus and the little child in all of us, I say the bigger the better! ($199.99)

I grew up in an era before cable, satellite television and Tivo. One of the things I looked forward to each Christmas was sitting down in front of the old, 300 pound wooden box with a screen inside of it and watching “A Charlie Brown Christmas”. That’s why when I saw “Brightly colored hammered steel brings Charlie Brown, Linus, Lucy, Sally and Snoopy to life right in your front yard!”, I knew it must be mine! ($199.99)

Looking for a way to frame your beautiful display of twinkly, Christmas cheer? May I suggest the Lighted, walk-thru 3-D Archway. “Welcome to your holiday “portal”! Archway’s metal-mesh frame is adorned with 400 pre-strung multi-color mini-lights for a brilliant color display at night. 129″ x 89″ tall overall.” ($149.99)

By now, some of you must be thinking, “Ah, Katdish! How pedestrian! I’ve seen all this before. How can I express my love of Christmas yet still maintain my sense of flair; my “razzle dazzle” if you will? Look no further. “Moving Hollywood-style Searchlights – with music . Two independently swiveling projectors cast large images that dance all over your home’s exterior from over 30′ away. Meanwhile, it plays your choice of 25 songs (20 Christmas, 4 Halloween, plus Happy Birthday) to add to the festivities.” ($139.99) I didn’t even know there was one Halloween song, let alone four!

And since you’ve invested wisely in your beautiful, festive yet tasteful holiday wonderland, wouldn’t it be great if you put all your neighbors on notice? “While waving one arm and moving one leg, this snowman stands atop a countdown clock much like that used at NASA for shuttle launches!” Let all those slackers know just how long they have to redeem themselves and their sparsely decorated yards! ($139.99)

So, there you have it. With a little help from our friends at Sky Mall, you can make your neighbors green with envy and your heathen friends red with shame as they behold your holiday yard in all its glowing glory.

We’re off to a great start! In my next entry, we will explore some fantastic gift ideas for your friends, family and business associates. Until then, remember that as long as you still have checks, you are never truly overdrawn, and that Christmas shopping is just the kind of “emergency” that your financial adviser was telling you about when he or she suggested you apply for a major credit card.

Thanks for all the comments on the previous post. It is an issue that seems to raise the blood pressure a few points — at least it does for me. A very special thank you to Caron for the link to Justin Peters’ organization. I couldn’t watch the entire presentation on his site, but was able to view it at the following link:

http://www.sermonaudio.com/sermoninfo.asp?SID=71208151703

This presentation is only a 30 minute overview of the seminar he offers to churches, but I found it to be an extremely powerful and compelling argument against these “health and wealth” pushers. And while I wholeheartedly agree with everything that Mr. Peters presents, I also understand that it is my responsibility to seek God’s word and make sure Mr. Peters’ arguments hold up. I urge you to do the same. My approach to bible study is a bit unorthodox, and I don’t recommend it, but here’s what I did:

Towards the end of his presentation, Justin Peters quoted my all-time favorite verse:

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” (2 Cor. 12:9a)

The rest of the verse is as follows: Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.

So, I started from this verse and worked my way backwards until I came to 2 Corinthians 11 and 12 where Paul writes about false apostles, boasts about his own sufferings and talks about the thorn in his flesh. What struck me about these particular passages is that not only do they support the argument against the prosperity gospel, but in places Paul is dripping in sarcasm — something I can definitely relate to.

“I hope you will put up with a little of my foolishness; but you are already doing that.” (2 Cor 11:1)

*My translation: Since you are obviously open to all kinds of audacious b.s., hear me out as well, because I’m actually going to tell you the truth.

“For if someone comes to you and preaches a Jesus other than the Jesus we preached, or if you receive a different spirit from the one you received, or a different gospel from the one you accepted, you put up with it easily enough. (2 Cor. 11:4)

*My translation: How can you be down with the Truth, the Holy Trinity, the Gospel of Christ, then turn around and readily accept something that is in direct conflict with what you profess to believe? I wonder if I could interest you in a time-share opportunity.

“But I do not think I am in the least inferior to those “super-apostles.” I may not be a trained speaker, but I do have knowledge. We have made this perfectly clear to you in every way.” (2 Cor 11:5-6)

*My translation: “I’m no Benny Hinn, and I don’t have a fancy suit or million dollar smile like Joel Osteen, but I think I have the educational and ancestry credentials (a Jew among Jews) and experience to be considered somewhat of an expert in this particular area. And did I mention the time when I met Jesus on the road to Damascus?”

“In this self-confident boasting I am not talking as the Lord would, but as a fool. Since many are boasting in the way the world does, I too will boast. You gladly put up with fools since you are so wise! In fact, you even put up with anyone who enslaves you or exploits you or takes advantage of you or pushes himself forward or slaps you in the face. To my shame I admit that we were too weak for that! (2 Cor. 11:17-21)

I’m not even going to comment on this particular passage. It pretty much speaks for itself.

**Paul provides several more zingers, but I’ll stop there. I encourage you to read 2 Corinthians (again) in its entirety. I found it to be just loaded with insight and wisdom concerning this topic and others. Trust your pastor and others whom you consider to be wise counsel, but be like Ronald Reagan: TRUST, BUT VERIFY! And if someone tells you something and it doesn’t sit well with you, there’s probably a very good reason for that. If you are a believer, The Holy Spirit resides in you.

For any who remain unconvinced that this so called “gospel” is a heresy. I want to address a quote from Benny Hinn:

Whether you think Rob Bell is the greatest Christian visionary since C. S. Lewis, think he is a dangerous heretic leading countless followers astray, have an opinion of him that falls somewhere decidedly between the two, or even if you’ve never heard of Rob Bell and think Nooma sounds like a chocolatey delicious carbonated beverage, please view the following parody in the spirit in which it is intended (from me, anyway). I have seen only a few Nooma videos, but one in particular I found quite moving and thought provoking. (This is not that video.) I make the previous statements in an attempt to convey that I am not anti-Rob Bell. It’s just that I find some of his mannerisms and the cadence of his speech sometimes amusing, and to point out that parody is considered by many to be a high form of praise.

While I posted this video primarily because I think it’s funny, previous comments to me about Rob Bell and other highly visible Christians also lead me to this observation: It seems to me that society in general and some Christians in particular have become increasingly polarized and intolerant of opposing viewpoints. There are those in the hard core evangelical camp that would suggest that Rob Bell and other proponents of spreading the gospel through social justice are presenting an incomplete view of the gospel at best, and at worst are spreading heresy and leading unsuspecting followers to eternal damnation. At the other end of the spectrum, some in the emergent church movement might say that evangelical Christians ignore the plight of the marginalized in society and feel that it’s perfectly acceptable to allow a man to be physically hungry as long as his soul is fed. To this point, I would offer the opinion that to some extent, both sides are right, and both sides are wrong. For a more in-depth, intellectual and insightful take on this subject, I would highly recommend The God Who Smokes: Scandalous Meditations on Faith, by Timothy J. Stoner, and The Reason for God by Timothy Keller, both of whom are WAY smarter and biblically astute on their worst day than I am on my best.

In closing, I would like to thank fellow blogger Laz for posting this video on his blog months before I posted it here, and to gently suggest that any angry Rob Bell fans voice their opposition to airing of this video here .