Katdish.net

Sheesh! Apparently these questions were quite a bit harder than I thought they would be. Heck, even Billy got one of them wrong! But here’s Billy with the answers:

Question 1:Writing wasn’t Billy’s first career choice. What were his career plans in high school?
a) Mail carrier
b) Professional baseball player
c) College professor
d) MMA cage fighter
e) None of the above

The correct answer is B, professional baseball player. And you know what? All these years later, I’ll still have dreams at night that I’m hitting a baseball.

Question 2:Billy loves his Blue Ridge Mountains, but he also feels at home at:
a) The Rivah (or “The River” for you non-Virginians)
b) The beach
c) Richmond, VA
d) Washington, D.C.

That’s also B. There’s a certain freedom that only salt air and endless sea can provide. If I don’t get to the beach at least once a year, I’m a wreck.

Question 3:Billy once wrote that if God had made him an animal, he would be a:
a) snake
b) wolf
c) bear
d) eagle
e) bulldog

B yet again. An old Apache once told me so. And no, I’m not kidding.

Question 4:Billy Coffey has a few comfort foods. Which of the following is NOT one of them?
a) Beef jerky
b) Chocolate covered pecans
c) Starbuck’s coffee ice cream
d) Jolly Rancher jelly beans
e) Peanuts and Coca Cola

B – Who in the world eats chocolate covered pecans?

Question 5:
Billy once unknowingly tried to pick a fight with a group of:
a) Secret service agents
b) Black Panthers
c) Professional wrestlers
d) Navy SEALS

That would be D. Though in my defense, I did not know they were Navy SEALS. And thank you, Jesus, for making them very polite guys.

Question 6:Snow Day was not originally written as a novel. What was it presented to the publisher as?
a) Spiritual memoir
b) autobiography
c) self-help book
d) a collection of short stories

A – Snow Day was originally written as a spiritual memoir.

Question 7:Billy counts as one of his special talents his ability to:
a) hula hoop
b) fall asleep just about anywhere
c) ride a unicycle
d) say the alphabet backwards without pausing

B – I have fallen asleep while standing, sitting, lying down (of course), talking, and reading. I once even fell asleep in the shower. Strangely enough, I do not suffer from narcolepsy. Chalk it up to late night writing sessions.

Question 8:Billy’s maternal grandfather was a missionary. Which of the following countries did he NOT travel to?:
a) Turkey
b) Haiti
c) Russia
d) Japan

D – My grandfather never went to Japan. He was kidnapped by voodoo practitioners in Haiti and claimed to have found a piece of Noah’s ark in Turkey, but he never went to Japan. Bet he would’ve loved it, though.

Question 9:True or False: Snow Day is the first book Billy has ever written.

False. It’s just the first book I’ve written that managed to get published…

Question 10:Who does Billy Coffey consider to be his hero?
a) Jack Bauer
b) Don Mattingly
c) His dad
d) All of the above
e) None of the above

D – All of the above, and mostly because all three embody everything I want to be as a man. Even if one of them is fictional. (Which would be A).

Question 11:Billy Coffey has referred to himself as “the Cal Ripkin of not puking.” When was the last time he threw up?
a) March 31, 2001
b) December 24, 1995
c) January 1, 1989
d) Last Friday

That would be B – Christmas Eve, 1995. There are a few things in my life that I am supremely proud of. That is one of them.

Question 12:The first blog post I ever read by Billy Coffey was entitled “The Fruit Salad”. In the comments section, I referred to him as:
a) A gifted storyteller
b) The next Max Lucado
c) A jerk
d) None of the above

C – That’s right, C. Seriously people, this is Katdish we’re talking about.

Question 13:Shortly after I left the aforementioned comment on “What I Learned Today”, I received my first blog comment from Billy Coffey. It was:
a) Thanks for visiting my blog. Nice to “meet” you.
b) My grandmother has forgiven me for dropping the “f” bomb on her.
c) Please stop leaving snarky comments on my blog. Who do you think you are?
d) I. LOVE. This. Blog.

D. And that’s something she seems to constantly remind me.

Question 14:Shortly before Billy Coffey started writing his regular Monday posts here, I wrote an introduction post. What was the main reason I cited for asking him to guest post for me?
a) my desire to help him broaden his audience
b) lack of writing time due to several upcoming painting jobs
c) an attempt to class up the place
d) in increase in female readership

B again.

Editor’s Note: Lack of writing time due to several upcoming painting jobs was what I told Billy, the main reason cited in my introduction post was D – An increase in female readership. (Incidentally, my favorite comment from that post came from Wendy at Weight… What: “Using Billy as man-candy? Shame on you! Now do it some more.”

Question 15:Billy’s next novel is called “Paper Angels”. It is the story of:
a) a young southern boy and his love of origami.
b) a man with a guardian angel he can actually see and talk to
c) a rookie first baseman for the California Angels baseball team
d) a murder mystery set in a small logging community

Paper Angels is about a man named Andy Sommerville, who is either cursed (which he believes at first) or blessed (which he believes later on) to have his guardian angel as a best friend.

So there you have it, folks. No one (including Billy) answered all of the questions correctly. However, the person who had the least number of questions wrong and the winner of a personally autographed copy of Snow Day is a long time reader of Billy’s writing, so it seems only fitting that she should win. Congratulations…

Joanne Sher!

I’ll have one more giveaway before Christmas, so you still have a chance to win. Thanks to everyone who participated. I hope you enjoyed getting to know a little bit more about the man behind the cowboy hat.

Okay, not really. Made you look, though, huh?

I have been so impressed with the great reviews for Snow Day and excited about all the giveaways, interviews and general excitement for Billy Coffey’s debut novel.

I thought about doing a review or an interview, and I still may do the latter, but for now I wanted to give y’all a chance to win a very special copy of Snow Day—one personally autographed by the author himself.

But you’re gonna have to work for it, so I have compiled a list of trivia questions to test your Billy Coffey knowledge AND, since this is my blog and all, me. Ready? Here we go:

Question 1:Writing wasn’t Billy’s first career choice. What were his career plans in high school?

a) Mail carrier

b) Professional baseball player

c) College professor

d) MMA cage fighter

e) None of the above

Question 2:Billy loves his Blue Ridge Mountains, but he also feels at home at:

a) The Rivah (or “The River” for you non-Virginians)

b) The beach

c) Richmond, VA

d) Washington, D.C.

Question 3:Billy once wrote that if God had made him an animal, he would be a:

a) snake

b) wolf

c) bear

d) eagle

e) bulldog

Question 4:Billy Coffey has a few comfort foods. Which of the following is NOT one of them?

a) Beef jerky

b) Chocolate covered pecans

c) Starbuck’s coffee ice cream

d) Jolly Rancher jelly beans

e) Peanuts and Coca Cola

Question 5:

Billy once unknowingly tried to pick a fight with a group of:

a) Secret service agents

b) Black Panthers

c) Professional wrestlers

d) Navy SEALS

Question 6:Snow Day was not originally written as a novel. What was it presented to the publisher as?

a) Spiritual memoir

b) autobiography

c) self-help book

d) a collection of short stories

Question 7:Billy counts as one of his special talents his ability to:

a) hula hoop

b) fall asleep just about anywhere

c) ride a unicycle

d) say the alphabet backwards without pausing

Question 8:Billy’s maternal grandfather was a missionary. Which of the following countries did he NOT travel to?:

a) Turkey

b) Haiti

c) Russia

d) Japan

Question 9:True or False: Snow Day is the first book Billy has ever written.

Question 10:Who does Billy Coffey consider to be his hero?

a) Jack Bauer

b) Don Mattingly

c) His dad

d) All of the above

e) None of the above

Question 11:Billy Coffey has referred to himself as “the Cal Ripkin of not puking.” When was the last time he threw up?

a) March 31, 2001

b) December 24, 1995

c) January 1, 1989

d) Last Friday

Question 12:The first blog post I ever read by Billy Coffey was entitled “The Fruit Salad”. In the comments section, I referred to him as:

a) A gifted storyteller

b) The next Max Lucado

c) A jerk

d) None of the above

Question 13:Shortly after I left the aforementioned comment on “What I Learned Today”, I received my first blog comment from Billy Coffey. It was:

a) Thanks for visiting my blog. Nice to “meet” you.

b) My grandmother has forgiven me for dropping the “f” bomb on her.

c) Please stop leaving snarky comments on my blog. Who do you think you are?

d) I. LOVE. This. Blog.

Question 14:Shortly before Billy Coffey started writing his regular Monday posts here, I wrote an introduction post. What was the main reason I cited for asking him to guest post for me?

a) my desire to help him broaden his audience

b) lack of writing time due to several upcoming painting jobs

c) an attempt to class up the place

d) in increase in female readership

Question 15:Billy’s next novel is called “Paper Angels”. It is the story of:

a) a young southern boy and his love of origami.

b) a man with a guardian angel he can actually see and talk to

c) a rookie first baseman for the California Angels baseball team

d) a murder mystery set in a small logging community

So there you have it. Rather than leaving your answers in the comments section, thereby allowing others to copy you, I will be accepting answers via email at katdishrich@gmail.com until Sunday, November 15, 11:00 pm EST. The answers and the winner (or winners) will be announced on Monday, November 16.

Good luck to you all. And as with all my contests here at katdish.net (formerly Hey look a chicken), please NO WAGERING.

October 11, 2010 was the official release of Snow Day by Billy Coffey. (Available at a bookstore near you. Buy early, buy often.)

This is Billy’s time in the spotlight, so I won’t take up too much of your time. But I wanted to take this opportunity to express my gratitude to some people.

First, to my family—who have graciously allowed me to spend countless hours on the computer that could have been spent with them. For understanding that sometimes you give of your time and talents not for personal gain or recognition, but simply because it’s the right thing to do. You’ve been my own personal cheering section.

To my bloggy pals who have been with me from the early days of Hey Look a Chicken. You believed in and supported Billy’s work because I asked you to. And even though his work never needed my endorsement, just the fact that you believed in him because I did means a lot. Y’all are friggintastic.

To Billy’s readers/friends, and for those of you whose paths I’ve crossed somewhere along the way—thank you all for welcoming this brash, outspoken, sometimes snarky and often ridiculous blogger into your midst. It’s been wonderful getting to know you all.

To Peter Pollock—I could never say thank you enough for all that you’ve done. Billy’s website would never have happened without you. You took the vision in my mind and translated it flawlessly into reality and you continue to provide excellent technical and moral support to my very demanding self. You truly are a prince.

And finally to Billy—
It’s been quite an adventure, no? Thank you for putting your trust in a virtual stranger almost 2 years ago who had no idea what she was doing, but let me figure it out along the way. Thank you for allowing me to read your words before sharing them with the rest of the world, and most of all, thank you for not giving up on your dreams, even when they seemed so far out of reach. The world would be a darker, less hopeful place without your stories.

Of all the lessons you’ve learned during this roller coaster ride—about faith and trust, about honor and friendship, if you take nothing else away from this experience, I hope you’ve learned this one undeniable truth:

I AM ALWAYS RIGHT!

ALWAYS.

(Snort!)

Ah, yes gentle reader. It is once again time for another installment of the epic and never-ending series of blog fodder known as the katdishionary. For your convenience, I have combined all previous posts in one place. (See the katdishionary tab) If there are other words you have observed me using that have yet to make it into the katdishionary, please feel free to share them in the comments section of that page. And as always, sorry/you’re welcome.

And now, on with the katdishionary:

Awesome Cat – (pronounced: Ah-sum-kat)

Definition: Awesome Cat defies definition. He is awesome. The end.

Origin: My friend Shaun sent me the picture, which he found on Digg. As soon as I saw it, I knew Awesome Cat must be the unofficial mascot of the brain trust that is the Fellowship of the Traveling Smartypants.

Badgertastic – (pronounced ba-jer-ta-stik)

Definition: Very definitively and enthusiastically having to do with badgers.

Origin: Sleep Talkin’ Man Blog – a blog that chronicles the nocturnal ramblings of a seemingly mild manned English chap by day who tends to get a tad profane whist sleeping: “My badger’s gonna unleash hell on your ass. Badgertastic!” (Note: not suitable for all audiences.)

Example: Did you read SCL’s post about proposed VBS games? My favorite was Badger in a Bag. Badgertastic!

Badger in a Bag – (pronounced: ba-jer-in-a-bag)

Definition: A VBS game concept described as follows: “Let’s hide pieces of caramel in a bag and then put a really angry badger in the same bag. To win, you have to successfully grab a piece of candy from the bag without losing a finger.” ~ Jon Acuff

Origin: Stuff Christians Like Post #275 – Playing Red Rover at VBS

Example: To heck with our liability insurance! Let’s bring badger in a bag back to VBS this year!

Faction – (pronounced (fak-shun)

Definition: A memoir written by a relatively unknown and unpublished author with no ties to celebrities (in or out of rehab) which is rewritten as a novel in order to draw a larger audience.

Origin: Very savvy and smart publishers. (And no, I’m not being sarcastic. It’s brilliant marketing.)

Example: Snow Day by Billy Coffey. Available October 11, 2010 at bookstores everywhere. Buy one. Heck, buy 100. They make great stocking stuffers!

HRM – (pronounced: H-R-M)

Definition: Acronym for Helen of Random Musings. HRM is used to differentiate Helen when she interviews herself on her blog.

Origin: “I first thought of interviewing myself when Former Governor Blagojevich was causing a media circus by going on any show that would have him claiming that he shouldn’t be impeached because he hasn’t been convicted of a crime. (And that he is innocent, and Rahm Emmanuel should be subpoenaed to testify on his behalf at his impeachment hearing, blaj blaj blaj (sic)….) His antics were driving me crazy, and it occurred to me that by using a split personality as a literary device, I’d be able to demonstrate to people reading just how crazy. My friends liked the interviews and suggested I do them more often, so I have.” – Helen (aka HRM)

Examples:

Blagojevich Part I

Blagojevich Part II

How I Didn’t Become a Nun

Dancing With the Kumquats (My Supermarket Salsa Post)

About My Fortieth Birthday

My New Year’s Resolutions

Midyear New Year’s Resolution Update

Skunkalicious – (pronounced: skun-ka-li-shous)

Definition: The state of not wanting to leave the house due to an excess period between root touch ups which gives me the appearance of wearing an odoriferous rodent on my head.

Origin: Genetics. Asian DNA which causes premature graying. I started going gray in my late 20’s. Sadly, the math gene was not passed on to me.

Example: Sorry. I can’t meet you for lunch today. I’m feeling a bit skunkalicious.

This concludes this edition of the katdishionary. Always a pleasure to educate the internets.

“You need to build your author platform.”

If you’re a writer seeking agent representation and/or looking to get your manuscript published, those words rank right up there with:

“It’s not you, it’s me”

and

“We need to talk.”

But it may not be as difficult as you might think. I’m certainly no expert, but I’ve learned a thing or two about how to effectively market an up and coming author on the internets over the past year, and I’m sharing a few of my secrets over at Author Culture today. Hope to see you there.

Billy Coffey’s debut novel Snow Day will be released in October of this year. Stay tuned for more details…

I’m thrilled beyond words to present to you a sneak peak at the cover of Billy Coffey’s debut novel, Snow Day.

I don’t want to give away too much of the book, but I will tell you that this scene brings to mind one of my favorite chapters in the book. Okay, truth be told, they’re all my favorite chapters. And yes, I know I’m helping Billy promote his book, but I wouldn’t promote a book I didn’t believe in, and even though I give him a hard time occasionally, I’m not exaggerating when I say I believe Billy Coffey is the best new writer of our generation. His body of work will be read for generations to come, blessing our children’s children and beyond. He’s just that good in my not so humble opinion. (Just don’t tell him I said that, okay?)