Case in point:
When I asked Billy Coffey to write a guest post for me on a weekly basis, I did so in an attempt to gain him a wider audience. Why did I do this? Because I’m a heck of a nice person that’s why. Okay — I may be a nice person, but seriously? When I found out via a few email conversations that he was trying to get a book published, I wanted to help him any way I could. How could you in good conscience NOT want to help a writer of his caliber? That’s about the time I told him he should get a twitter account. “Really? Twitter?”, he said. “Yes. Do it. Trust me.” I said.
I won’t go into great detail about what has transpired over the past 2 months but it is my honest opinion that Twitter played no small role. And that’s all I’m going to say about that. Earlier this week, I read this tweet by literary agent superstar Rachelle Gardner:
For a writer struggling to get a book published, this is a big deal. A VERY big deal. So, congratulations, Billy. I can’t wait to see what happens next!
Because I had some inside information via my guest blogger that this might happen this week, much of my time on twitter was spent building up to this. It’s almost as though I know what I’m doing….hmmm…..
Now on with the countdown:
1. If you pretend that @CHRIS_Daughtry is secretly following you like @candysteele, #youmightbeatwitterho
2. @Helenatrandom I’m just impressed you used the word “juxtaposition” in a tweet.
3. If you laugh uncontrollably at your own tweets, #youmightbeatwitterho
4. You dirty hamster! #firstdraftmovielines
5. I coulda been a marginally successful boxer! #1stdraftmovielines
6. Show me some money! #1stdraftmovielines
7. @HerbieGookins I’m availabe to play tambourine. They won’t let me play it here.
8. RT @marni71: Oooh I wanna play! If u tweet at a funeral #youmightbeatwitterho
9. If you secretly wonder if @ofmercy is reading your tweets and taking notes for further study, #youmightbeatwitterho
10. RT @redclaydiaries: Tweeting from my new iPhone 3gs. Woot! (If you tweet from your new iPhone 3g, #youmightbeatwitterho)
11. If you send DMs to @weightwhat & @helenatrandom because you’re secretly stalking the twitter, #youmightbeatwitterho
12. Gotta get off the twitter for a bit…That’s what…oh, nevermind
13. @PeterPollock “You may be German, but I don’t want to smell your B.O.?” Oh, that is RICH! @weightwhat South Carolina too! Also? I’m refined and classy! (VURP!, scuse me…)
14. I just took “What U.S. state do you belong in?” and got: South Carolina! Try it: http://bit.ly/PNnpy
15. RT @weightwhat: My dad gets his scan in about 15 minutes. Prayers anyone? (Praying)
16. @CandySteele @pwilson ‘s man card has been in seriously jeopardy for some time now, but I still dig him the most.
17. If you don’t have something nice to say, come sit next to me #outdatedphrases (that my mom says)
18. @pwilson You’re just begging me to make fun of you, aren’t you?
19. I crack myself up #outdatedphrases. (Oh, who am I kidding? That NEVER gets old!)
20. Question: Do you find it encouraging or horrifying to discover that your kids are just like you?
21. @marni71 It’s really all about priorities, huh?
22. @billycoffey Dude. You don’t tweet enough for people to get sick of you.
23. @llbarkat What works for you? I don’t do subtle…
24. @CHRISVOSS Thanks. But I like to build my following the old fashioned way: One annoying tweet at a time!
25. Good morning. Need coffee. That is all…
26. @chrissulli Thanks, Chris. Saw your comment. I’ll do that. Appreciate your encouragement.
27. STILL going through stuff in my daughter’s room. Or as I like to call it, “Crapatopia”.
28. @HerbieGookins In your bra, or just in general?
29. RT @weightwhat: I had another bra snack the other day. I was wondering why I kept smelling popcorn.
30. (On a Wednesday)
31. I’ve never shot a man just to watch him die #ivenever
32. Soon to be rock star famous #followwednesday: @billycoffey
33. @bryanallain Oh-em-gee. Definitely TMI, T M freaking I Bryan!
34. @marni71 Whoa. Your 2nd tweet took the words right out of my mouth. Twitter ho telepathy…
35. @funnyoneliners I went to see my optometrist, fell into the lens grinder and made a spectacle of myself
36. @marni71 Okay, what are you wearing?
37. @BabySnooks If you wear longjohns to the golf course, #youmightbecanadian
38. @buzzbyannies BUT I JUST GOT HERE! Bummer…
39. @ofmercy Good night Jon boy! You’re fairly awesome, you know that?
40. @weightwhat Oh I am TOTALLY awesome cat. (Couldn’t just let that one go.)
41. @billycoffey @ofmercy @weightwhat @Helenatrandom What the???I can’t leave the twitter for a second! Now I’m too tired to care. Night!
42. @ofmercy Here, here! I’ll drink to that. I used to drink to anything, but I’m better now.
43. @PuriChristos Well now you know how I feel when someone talks about math.
44. @PuriChristos @rachellegardner is a big time literary agent who just signed @billycoffey. It’s a big deal, trust me.
45. And the much lesser know @katdish
46. Okay, @billycoffey. AHEM! @redclaydiaries, @buzzbyannies et al: Billy Coffey is now being represented by the one and only @rachellegarnder
47. @billycoffey Would you like to tell @redclaydiaries and @buzzbyannies the big news?
48. @ofmercy Why? Do you detect a dark side lurking under my adorableness? I’m starting to freak me out
49. @shrinkingcamel Thanks, Bradley. I mostly try to use my powers for good and not evil.
50. @LSOFang I know, right?
51. @faydra_deon Again, it matters not. Some of us have bigger hurdles, nature or nurture, but the ground at the cross is level.
52. @faydra_deon Our ability to be broken and surrender our lives to Christ is the biggest determining factor.
53. @billycoffey Super hero is a stretch, but okay – I’ll take it. Congrats! You deserve it!
54. Is VERY grateful for answered prayer! Thank you friends. Thank you Jesus!
55. Praying….Will you join me?
56. @annalisa2 Are you mocking me? Me thinks, yes.
57. @annalisa2 Aw, why ya gotta be a shiny vampire hater? I meant some stupid celebrity book.
58. @annalisa2 Writer’s block? Read something horridly written. That will boost your confidence.
59. @PeterPollock LONDON BABY
60. @lizzyarmentrout I know. I can be annoying without any practice at all.
61. @muchl8r About the same. I wrote a cranky ho post and thought of you.
62. @nicholasdr Guitar hero is not the same as playing a real guitar. Or so my guitar playing friends tell me after they lose
63. @mandythompson Get out of the house and go people watching. Write the lyrics to somebody else’s life
64. @buzzbyannies Well yee-haw Annie! Sounds good.
65. @mdemuth A buck a book? Craptastic!
66. @RachelleGardner as to @weightwhat? Sorry/you’re welcome.
67. @weightwhat It’s almost as though I know what I’m talking about, huh?
68. @weightwhat @billycoffey needs to maintain an image that is inoffensive to his reader base, but compelling enough to expand his audience
69. @weightwhat No. No beer references. I’m speaking as his nasty pimp now.
70. @weightwhat Yeah. The kind of career that publishers frown upon
71. @weightwhat I’m trying to help build his career as a writer. When he gets famous, then I’ll wear him down.
72. @weightwhat Like I said, @billycoffey thinks you actually have to have something worth reading to post there. He’s stubborn like that.
73. @ryanmer I don’t get it. Is @borgdrone a creepy pillow or a national monument? I can’t keep up
74. @weightwhat Oh come on! I’m not bad. I just tweet that way
75. By the way, twitter…If you’re not following @weightwhat, you’re missing out on half of the ridiculous conversations I have here nightly.
76. @weightwhat I know! The non-virtual world can be such a distraction!
77. Dear twitter rockstar: You automatically generated thanks for following video is so very touching…Unfollow.
78. @br8kthru You and Peter think alike. Thanks.
79. @PuriChristos “Frunched” meaning not having enough of something via @jeremywright (who you should be following if you’re not already)
80. @jeremywright “Frunched” I like it! That word is frigintastic, huh @purichristos?
81. If screaming LONDON BABY! into the twitter makes you feel cultured, #youmightbeamerican
82. @marni71 Well I hope you didn’t have to fill your time waiting with any of that pesky “work” business.
83. @PeterPollock I just laid down some wisdom on the comments section of your blog. You’re welcome.
84. If you’ve ever referred to Guatemala, Costa Rica or Panama as “one of those Mexican countries”, #youmightbeamerican
85. If you’ve ever traveled south of the border just to purchase a paper flower bigger than your head, #youmightbeamerican
86. @BunBunRabbit You’re asking me a math question? You don’t know me at all…
87. @muchl8r Did you get moved in? You should have the skank fairies sprinkle some pixie dust on it.
88. If it bothers you when you go to a foreign country and people don’t have the courtesy to speak English, #youmightbeamerican
89. @PuriChristos Wow. Must suck being you. We can’t shoot fireworks because of the burn ban. Bummer.
90. @WinLiannefield Oh, okay. Then lighting bugs. What does Joni Mitchell know anyway?
91. @WinLiannefield Fireflies. Like the Joni Mitchell song.
92. You’ll laugh, you’ll cry, you’ll unfollow me by the masses. It’s the Friday Twitter Update: http://bit.ly/WnFIO
93. @MichaelHyatt Don’t you have people for that kind of stuff? My image of you is shattered, much like your glasses.
94. @ryanmer Just “kind of” offensive? How disappointing
95. @billycoffey I know. Just seeing if you were paying attention.
96. Soon to be famous and forget all that I’ve done for him #FF: @billycoffey