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Twitter Update: I am Hunter S. Thompson

Happy Saturday everyone! This week on the twitter, it seems everyone was taking the “Which crazy writer are you?” test. Hardly scientific, but as it turns out I am Hunter S. Thompson. No big surprise there…

The best of me (or not) on the twitter this week:

@CassandraFrear @jpwire My long, flowing mane is in no way due to sea monkey.

But if you’re not already following @billycoffey & @AmySorrells, I would highly recommend doing so. Both very special to me.

I hesitate to do #FF, because I’m not kidding when I say I follow some amazing, wonderful people & I don’t want to leave anyone out.

Me too! RT @curtharding: FF @billycoffey //He has inspired me to write better and more often.

@CassandraFrear You don’t actually think I buy any of that crap do you? (in reply to CassandraFrear @katdish Good morning, you wild and crazy shopper, you.)

@billycoffey You is. (in reply to billycoffey @katdish I am, ain’t I?)

@billycoffey You’re so cultured. (in reply to billycoffey @katdish The only noise I hear at the moment are the voices of my two favorite redneck morning radio folks.)

@amysorrells Well, don’t hurt yourself. (in reply to amysorrells @katdish I mean, it’s a good THING. Although I THINK, too, on occasion.)

@CandySteele Ooo! Do it! (in reply to CandySteele @katdish I think I’m going to have to do a ghetto version of your SkyMall post – called Craigslist. #gotridoflotsacrap)

@CandySteele Thanks. Craptastic is a pretty sucktacular word, isn’t it?

@amysorrells Get that hairbrush out and sing it sister! (in reply to amysorrells “My heart can’t possibly break . . . When it wasn’t even whole to start with . . . ” ~Kelly Clarkson)

The pages are still blank, but there is a miraculous feeling of the words being there, written in invisible ink & clamoring 2 become visible โ€“ Vladimir Nabokov

Dear major dept store: my daughter is 8 yo. Not quite ready to dress like a prostitot. Love, katdish http://twitpic.com/1p95am

@JeffHolton You forget I live in Texas. And we’re all rich oil barons here. (in reply to JeffHolton @katdish You couldn’t afford me. Heard of Peggy Noonan? Kurt Vonnegut? Maya Angelou? AMATEURS!!)

@JeffHolton Wait…are you offering? (in reply to JeffHolton @katdish It’s same as “I ghostwrite for Katdish” vs. “She kinda mentioned me on her blog once, sorta.”)

How does one confuse “when I served in Vietnam” with “I never really served in Vietnam”? Just curious…

@SouthMainMuse Gaaaa! (in reply to SouthMainMuse @katdish If you start getting texts from this Tiger — it’s probably him.)

Tiger Woods is now following me. Although me thinks it’s not the golfer.

I wouldn’t know >RT @RachelleGardner: “Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you’re wrong.” #funnyquotes

@arestlessheart ATM? Oh…at the moment. For a minute there I thought you were withdrawing some cash. Which would be quite the multi-task! (in reply to arestlessheart @katdish doin’ okay atm – holding baby, trying to work up energy for the next thing…)

@amysorrells Hello, my little guina pig! How are you this afternoon?

@CassandraFrear Cuz she’s a cowgirl…

@CassandraFrear And @marni71 is going to be shot directly into Jon Bon Jovi

@CassandraFrear You know, @candysteele’s ashes are going to be shot out of a cannon, (in reply to CassandraFrear @katdish @jpwire Almost fell off my chair laughing! // RT @katdish Best part? Thompson’s ashes were fired from a cannon! What a way to go!)

@lainiegallagher It’s your world, Lainie. I’m just trying to live in it. (in reply to lainiegallagher @katdish I know; I can’t believe you even had to ask! :D)

@lainiegallagher Well of course you do! (in reply to lainiegallagher @katdish Yes.)

@lainiegallagher OMGoogle! Did you want a more specific test? (in reply to lainiegallagher Interesting. The quiz says I’m JD Salinger, and that I’ve been hiding for several decades. I haven’t even been alive for “several” decades!)

@jpwire @CassandraFrear Best part? Thompson’s ashes were fired from a cannon! What a way to go!

@CassandraFrear Hunter S. Thompson. So there you go…

Just took “Which Crazy Writer Are You?” and got: Hunter S. Thompson! Try it โž” http://bit.ly/9iDefg

@redclaydiaries I think it means there is no spoon. (in reply to redclaydiaries @katdish I think it probably means something that u & I have such trouble w google calendar. What it means, I don’t know.)

@PeterPollock @billycoffey would be so proud. Well, maybe not the cookie dough part, but still. (in reply to PeterPollock @katdish I keep meaning to do something but apart from watch 24 and make cookie dough, I’ve not really done anything yet!)

@HeatheroftheEO Oh, he’s all Hey and Howdy to the rest of the world. You have no idea… (in reply to HeatheroftheEO I hope you get paid the big bucks to manage @billycoffey ‘s site. It can’t be easy, dealing w/ that tyrant. (I jest on Monday mornings)

The lottery is a tax on people who are bad at math. ~ Ambrose Bierce

@noveldoctor That’s you, Steve. (in reply to noveldoctor @katdish Just think of me as the cloud that gives the silver lining purpose.)

@noveldoctor sigh… (in reply to noveldoctor My Sbux is overflowing with shiny happy people…or shiny brilliant actors masking fathomless despair.)

@sarahmsalter Antonio the tiny wine steward. http://twitpic.com/1og9qp (in reply to sarahmsalter @katdish Awwww. So, now who do you hang out with at the grocery store?)

@sarahmsalter Sadly, he is gone. (in reply to sarahmsalter @katdish Say hi to the PCB for me. ๐Ÿ™‚

Why do I put off grocery shopping until there’s no food in the house? Oh yeah…because I hate grocery shopping.

DH: you’re not wearing flops to church. Son: didn’t the 1st Christians wear flops to church? Me: Snort!

@redclaydiaries Spam bots need love too. (in reply to redclaydiaries @katdish I’ll have u know I love ALL of my followers. Except the unclothed ones.)

@gabbysherri Yes. Heaven forbid Steph dip below the 4800 follow mark. (in reply to gabbysherri @redclaydiaries -Steph- Sorry. I didn’t realize It. I just clicked on your name and saw that you were “unfollowed” by me. Sorry.)

@lainiegallagher I cain’t quit you Lainie! (in reply to lainiegallagher @katdish Must be. ๐Ÿ˜€ You know you love me!)

@lainiegallagher I’m sure it’s completely coincidental. (in reply to lainiegallagher @katdish Man! How does every person I know come up with the exact same nickname for me? Inconceivable!)

@lainiegallagher I’m doing both Judgey McJudgealot. (in reply to lainiegallagher @katdish are you actually eating with your daughter, or playing on your phone?)

I’m seeing a trend. http://twitpic.com/1o2s26

Hmmm… http://twitpic.com/1o2rll

Famous last words: No mom, I don’t need a fork.

Pei Wei Asian chicken salad http://twitpic.com/1o2khw

The picture of stubborness & weinie dogness. @buddylovethedog refuses to do his bidness in the rain. http://twitpic.com/1o1hvl

Just throw that crap away already!

Watching shows like Clean House and Hoarders makes me want to throw things at the TV.

Wow. After 9 am & I’ve yet to hear “There’s nothing to do” yet. Oh, wait. My kids are still asleep.

Enriching lives thru the power of social media. Again.

image courtesy of photobucket.com

Seems I was a fountain of useless information and unsolicited advice on the twitter this week with topics ranging from new websites to feet scraping to creepy childrens books and every thing in between.

The best of me (or not) on the twitter this week:

@CandySteele Me write code? I don’t even understand suduko. (in reply to CandySteele @katdish Your blogroll phones well. Tell me you’re not writing code. Please tell me.)

@lainiegallagher Do you realize that if you & I were morphed into 1 person we would be the most demanding person EVER? (in reply to lainiegallagher @katdish It’s decided, then. It should be fast by tomorrow. ๐Ÿ˜€ )

@lainiegallagher Well that’s true. (in reply to lainiegallagher @katdish Haha I know… me too! Make him fix it. I mean, your list of demands is already long. What’s one more?)

@JeffHolton Don’t mention it. Unsolicited advice: just another service I offer. (in reply to JeffHolton RT @katdish: @JeffHolton If they ask U what UR weaknesses R, don’t say, “I tend to oversleep & call in sick a lot after 90 days.” // Thx. ๐Ÿ™‚

SNORT! RT @br8kthru: Wow. It smells like boiled rotten cabbage in our office hallway… & not in a good way. ๐Ÿ™‚

@arestlessheart Snort! I’m going to unfollow myself now. (in reply to arestlessheart #FF MUST FOLLOW @katdish ๐Ÿ˜‰

When someone does a #FF in all caps that says MUST FOLLOWS, it makes me think “You’re not the boss of me!โ€

@Helenatrandom Hmmm…Now there’s a thought. My feet do need a good scrape and polish. (in reply to Helenatrandom @katdish Sounds to me like the ladies need a retreat as well… to a spa….)

@br8kthru I actually DO appreciate how men’s minds work. I consider it one of my greatest strengths. (in reply to br8kthru @katdish Nice! You have to appreciate how men’s minds work, right?)

@br8kthru DH is going on a “leadership retreat” w/Jeff & 2 other elders. To the beach. With the boat. And fishing poles.

There IS only one me, for which many are grateful//RT @CassandraFrear: @katdish There’s only one you. Shine.

I think it’s really funny that folks will go to such lengths to defend a creepy childrens book.

RT @marni71: @duane_scott @katdish Whatever dude. If my MIL broke into my house to rock my husband to sleep, I’d taze her.

@duane_scott guess one of us still holds a valid man card. (in reply to duane_scott @katdish true. But its also sweet. Did you lose your entire heart to Texas? The book still makes me choke up.)

@duane_scott It’s Creepy. (in reply to duane_scott @katdish @PeterPollock Love you Forever? The kids book? Don’t go hatin’ on that one. Its a childhood favorite.)

@PeterPollock I love you forever’s creepiness stems more from the artwork than from the wordage. (in reply to PeterPollock @CandySteele I’m not sure I understand the giving tree. Someon gave me it and said it reminded her of me? Never heard of Love you Forever)

@duane_scott @JeffHolton @CandySteele Possibly the best book ever written? Hmph! As Triumph the Dog would say, “For me to POOP on!โ€

@forthegirls Spending time with family, are we? (in reply to forthegirls My tongue is gonna have some serious teeth marks from biting it all day. Lord please let this day hurry)

I should probably go write something. My mind is a bit rambly.

Do you know what would be really mean thing to do? Let your dog lick a bowl clean & then put it back in the cabinet.

@buzzbyannies What to the eva, Annie (in reply to buzzbyannies @Katdish I had no idea there was such a thing as sugar free Ragu. Probably because I make my spaghetti sauce from scratch.)

Snort! Got a new fitness follow

As part of a new healthy eating regime, I had spaghetti made with Ragu-no sugar added. Which was really not bad once I added some sugar.

@RandDuren I must admit, he’s very good at playing David Caruso. (in reply to RandDuren @katdish I love him haha!)

@RandDuren You are crazy. Because David Caruso is so annoying. (in reply to RandDuren Call me crazy but I feel like watching CSI:Miami… I miss Horatio putting his glasses on.)

@CandySteele Is that a real word? (in reply to CandySteele @katdish @BridgetChumbley Or medical terms? Rectoretinitis is one of my favs.)

@CandySteele Whatever helps you sleep at night, Candy. (in reply to CandySteele @katdish See his left ear? When it’s bent, that means I’m on his mind. So there.)

@buzzbyannies Actually, my feet need a good scraping. You’re welcome. (in reply to buzzbyannies @Katdish Only if your toes look as fabulous as mine.)

@CandySteele Nah…he’s thinking how much he’d like to be sitting at my feet. (in reply to CandySteele Bozley couldn’t care less about @buzzbyannies new pedi. He’s really just dreaming of me. #puppyfix #NiceToesAnnie http://twitpic.com/1nb9f8)

@CassandraFrear Words to live by.

RT @CassandraFrear: @billycoffey OK. Now. Discovery Channel was not what I meant by being on to something. Maybe you shd listen to @katdish

@billycoffey Thought so. (in reply to billycoffey @katdish Well I’ll make an exception there, of course!)
@CassandraFrear I’m content, I just like to see what I’m missing. (in reply to CassandraFrear @billycoffey @katdish I love to travel. But “there is great gain in godliness with contentment”. (1 Tim 6) Billy’s on to something.)

@billycoffey Whatcha gonna do if Donnie Baseball invites you to a Yankees game? Decline because your mountains won’t let you? (in reply to billycoffey @katdish Isn’t that what the Discovery Channel is for?)

@billycoffey There’s a big old world out there Billy! VA is beautiful, but you need to see the Grand Canyon & other places. (in reply to billycoffey @katdish Oh hush! The mountains won’t let me.)

@billycoffey You never leave where you live now. (in reply to billycoffey @makeadiff21 WOW. If I lived there, I’d never leave.)

@lainiegallagher Oh, like you could do that. You’d miss me too much. (in reply to lainiegallagher @duane_scott I say we band together and boycott @katdish ‘s blog until it’s fixed!)

@KathleenOverby Because people are annoying, that’s why. (in reply to KathleenOverby why would a person bother to set up a ficticious blog/profile to comment japanese symbols into my comments? It’s not even spam. It’s numbers)

@chrissulli Why do you say that? Do you have any idea how many years he’s been writing? Almost as many as you’ve been alive. (in reply to chrissulli @katdish reading @billycoffey leaves me part in awe he is such a good writer and part discouraged)

@PeterPollock, Would you please put a (dot) between katdish and net on my website? @lainiegallagher is breaking out in hives.

@lainiegallagher SNORT! I KNEW you would notice that! (in reply to lainiegallagher @katdish The fact that you don’t have a [dot] does drive me nuts.)

@lainiegallagher I think you secretly do, but won’t admit it. I also think if I spelled my name wrong on that header it would drive you nuts (in reply to lainiegallagher @katdish Do I ever like anything?)

@lainiegallagher Of course. I didn’t think you would like it. (in reply to lainiegallagher @katdish I like it. Except for that pesky font…)

@CandySteele He works for the “You can tell an engineer, but you can’t tell them much” Railroad. (in reply to CandySteele @katdish I did not know that. What railroad?)

@buzzbyannies Huh…go figure. (in reply to buzzbyannies Just took an online personality test and the results are that I am sarcastic. Huh.)

@SBeeCreations You killed my father…prepare to die.

RT @SBeeCreations: @katdish You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.

@Helenatrandom INCONCEIVABLE (in reply to Helenatrandom @katdish I l know how you feel. @duane_scott is the only one who tweeted me today. (TWSS) And that was after I’d been here an hour…)

Just so you know, I can see all you people talking amongst yourselves but not to me. Hmph!

@shrinkingcamel And you are one fine looking camel, Brad. (in reply to shrinkingcamel Being good-looking helps your career. http://bit.ly/8lMZCw)

@CandySteele Yes. Feel free to live vicariously through me. (in reply to CandySteele @PeterPollock In case you didn’t know, @katdish does anything she wants to. That’s why we love her so.)

@PeterPollock Easy, I threatened my friends on #FOTTSP to either join my site or lose admin privileges. Power is good. (in reply to PeterPollock @katdish So let’s get this straight.. you haven’t even launched your new blog yet but you already have 13 ‘friends’ on it? how’d you do that?)

@CandySteele I picked out the font, he loaded it for me & changed it 562 times until I liked it. I’m a pleasure to work with. (in reply to CandySteele @katdish Did he do the fancy schmancy header too? Or did you do that? #randomfontarrhea #cool)

“I know the crap out of women.” ~ Michael Scott

@jamieworley I didn’t realize barns could marry in Georgia. (in reply to jamieworley Slideshow from a super-sweet barn wedding NE of Atlanta: http://worleyarts.com/blog/archives/1743)

RT @PeterPollock: I just did something perfectly – on the 593rd attempt!
I’m really not hard to please, I only expect perfection.

@SurfCorp I think twitter should pay me. (in reply to SurfCorp If you had to pay for Twitter what would it be worth to you every month?)

@noveldoctor You are really ARE Eeyore. (in reply to noveldoctor God hit the reset button on Twitter to remind us we’re all made of the same stuff…low self-esteem.)

RT @unmarketing: I need a Facebook enema, too much crap in my stream.

@PeterPollock Yes. You are correct. We are all rich oil barons. (in reply to PeterPollock My understanding from TV is that all Texans are rich oil barons. Is that correct?)

I really need to narrow down my categories list for my new site. I think I can eliminate “My big fat head” & “oreo cakesters”

The obligatory weekly twitter update


Here we are again friends, My 46th twitter update. Dang, that a lot of tweets. When I first started this update, it was simply a means of gathering up a few random observations to share with my non-twitter friends. I’m not sure I was the first person to start doing this, but I’ve noticed some other folks outside my little circle of interweb friends have started doing their own versions, so for that I want to say sorry/you’re welcome.

And now, the best of me (or not) on the twitter this week:

@llbarkat And you need to give me a link. Cuz I’m a lazy Yoda.

@llbarkat I share my superior wisdom with @billycoffey all the time. (in reply to llbarkat @billycoffey would love a tip from you (see the comment box at Green Inventions) & see if you can get @katdish to share her superior wisdom)

@llbarkat I specialize in unsolicited advice. (in reply to llbarkat @katdish I’m sure you must have a tip in there somewhere.)

“The grocery store is a black cesspool of unbridled despair.” ~ Billy Coffey

@gabbysherri Night Smurfette!

@gabbysherri (shaking my head slowly in mock disapproval) Just google it. (in reply to gabbysherri @katdish-what the heck is tweetdeck?)

@gabbysherri Okay. Tell one of your sons to install tweetdeck on your computer or you’ll never keep up.

Hey everyone! Follow @gabbysherri. It will freak her out.

@marni71 I wouldn’t believe it if I didn’t see it with my own eyes. (in reply to marni71 @gabbysherri I texted @katdish just to let her know u logged on. If she didn’t faint, she’ll come say hi.)

@gabbysherri SHUT. UP!!! I can’t believe it!

When I finally met Mr. Right I had no idea his first name was Always ~ Rita Rudner

@redclaydiaries It’s exactly like that. Or something… (in reply to redclaydiaries @katdish Eminent demise? Is that like eminent domain? Like the poo is trying to force us out of house and home?)

@duane_scott probably the Long Island iced teas. (in reply to duane_scott @CassandraFrear @katdish No, that was pretty pathetic. The poor lady. Who told her she could sing?)

@CassandraFrear Pretty sucktacular, huh?

@CassandraFrear @duane_scott This one’s for you: http://bit.ly/bfgi0e

@duane_scott I’m laughing with you, not at you. Okay, maybe laughing at you a little bit… (in reply to duane_scott @CassandraFrear @katdish it is a talent. I can do Ice Ice Baby flawlessly. ๐Ÿ™‚ and a few nights ago I scored 98 on The Scientists by coldplay)

@duane_scott Is karaoke a talent? (in reply to duane_scott @katdish is Comedy. @PeterPollock is English accent. I’d have to go with karaoke. See, we all have talents! Whoop whoop.)

@redclaydiaries The random poo is a sure sign of eminent demise.

@duane_scott Comedy. (in reply to duane_scott @PeterPollock @katdish Let’s put it this way. If we 3 were to have a talent show, what would you win at?)

RT @badbanana: Having a Yoplait yogurt with my lunch. Before you judge my masculinity, I’m also eating an elk head. Antlers and all.

@PRbytheBook Are you following @billycoffey yet?

RT @PRbytheBook: Authors: start early! “Begin an authentic conversation w/people interested in your topic…” http://huff.to/dqrrMz.

@chipmacgregor Ooo! I am an incredibly bad poet!

RT @chipmacgregor: We’ve started our annual Bad Poetry Contest at www.chipmacgregor.com – drop by and participate!

So, I need to work on my new website that the lovely & talented @peterpollock is building for me but I forgot my password. #ragingADD

@llbarkat @KathleenOverby If I can influence anyone to let their inner silly out, that is a very good day.

@KathleenOverby Okay, nevermind. That post DOES sound like I could have written it. Snort!

@KathleenOverby Ghost writing? Yeah, like I’d write something w/o getting credit for it. (in reply to KathleenOverby @llbarkat you’re gonna win the 31 days thingy, because you’re causing a ruckus and bribing with cake. Is @katdish ghost writing for you?)

Jesus said, “Go and make disciples”, not “make converts to your opinions”. ~ Oswald Chambers

“Every boy wants to be found brave and every girl wants to be found lovely.” ~ Jeff Hogan

RT @tremendousnews: It’s Cinco de Mayo! Unless you don’t have your papers in Arizona. Then it’s just a Wednesday you’ll never forget

Wow >RT @jeremypeterson: the future of worship??? http://bit.ly/de8N6s

@VariantVal Ah yes. Laugh, and the world laughs with you…Cry and you look like (expletive).

@llbarkat what do you mean,”just” me? Snort! (in reply to llbarkat @katdish I am happy to report that you and the Dalai quadrupled my blog traffic yesterday. Okay, okay, I’m sure it was just you ๐Ÿ˜‰

@buzzbyannies Happy Cinco de Birthday, Annie!

Okay. Too much technical computer stuff. I need to walk away and eat a sammich.

@lainiegallagher But I will because I love your bossy little self.

@lainiegallagher You’re not the boss of me… (in reply to lainiegallagher @katdish Tell your new FB friends to be my friends, too. Do it.)

RT @jamieworley: Just made up a new word: “squirky.” It means squirrelly and quirky. Sometimes I am both of those, so I need a good word. ๐Ÿ˜‰

RT @gyoung9751: @katdish Linking up with FB and Twitter is either Facebookerocious or Twittelicious

@gyoung9751 Thanks, Glynn. I don’t need katdishionary words at the moment, I need INSTRUCTION

GAAAAA!!!! Okay. Thanks for all the FB friends. Now how do I link up with twitter?

Okay people. I created a new facebook account: Katdish Dishman-Richards. I have no friends currently. Sad…I know.

@noveldoctor Writers can’t help but write. Even when it’s not on paper. It’s safer on paper than in your head, though.

RT @noveldoctor: If all writers truly followed the “write what you know” maxim, wouldn’t most novels be about rejection?

@noveldoctor He WAS in Karate Kid! (in reply to noveldoctor @katdish Or Ralph “Espresso” Macchiato. Wait, wasn’t he the Karate Kid?)

@noveldoctor I think they might figure it out when your characters have names like “Carmelatta”. (in reply to noveldoctor I get some of my best story ideas from the customers at Sbux. They just don’t know it.)

NERD ALERT >RT @Brian_Russell: Anyone on Xbox Live? Because we should totally nerd it up together.

@PeterPollock Nope. Just outright adoration and appreciation. (in reply to PeterPollock @katdish When I saw “My Geeky Guru” I was sure that there must be a way to TWSS it, but I just can’t find it!)

Just called @PeterPollock my “geeky guru” in a DM. It’s a shame I can’t post my DMs on my twitter update. Don’t worry, I’ll never do that.

@amysorrells Oh, be careful what you wish for Amy. (in reply to amysorrells @katdish In that case, I want to be just like you. (((snort!)))

@amysorrells Oh, pish posh! Never grow up! (in reply to amysorrells I want 2 B like them when I grow up: @MaryDeMuth @michaelhyatt @thepioneerwoman @RichardMabry @sarahmarkley @1nicolebromley @flowerdust)

Sleep deprivation and the Twitter


I’ve had sort of a weird week. And for me, that’s saying something. Lots of things on my mind. Didn’t sleep very well this week. But I did manage to enhance a few lives through the power of social media just the same.

The best of me (or not) on the twitter this week:

@chrissulli Yeah, spending a week on the beach in the Caribbean sounds pretty crappy. (in reply to chrissulli @katdish its nothing against them. I’ll just be so close then and bored on the beach.)

@billycoffey No. Thank YOU. You big deal, you… (in reply to billycoffey @Daylilie222 @katdish @chrissulli @Julie_Weathers Thanks for the #FF!)

@chrissulli Is your family on twitter? Hope not. (in reply to chrissulli @katdish Ya. First week I’m there I’m on vacation with my fam Think I’m going to be miserable the whole time and ready to go see the kids.)

@chrissulli Good Morning, Chris! Thanks for the RT. Sent you some stuff yesterday. Are you getting excited to get back to the DR?

#FF @billycoffey because he’s kind of a big deal, even though he’ll never admit that.

@buzzbyannies Okay, I’m totally jealous… (in reply to buzzbyannies @katdish Oh I think you secretly are. snort!)

@buzzbyannies NOT jealous. Not at all… (in reply to buzzbyannies @CandySteele See you in Seattle! Woot!)

We cannot suppose ourselves into any condition we have not been in. ~ Oswald Chambers

Certainty is the mark of a common sense life, gracious uncertainty is the mark of the spiritual life. ~ Oswald Chambers

Agreed! RT @lainiegallagher: @katdish is the coolest!

@dustinlamont Our drummer says that too. Among other things. (in reply to dustinlamont Sorry for the inappropriately simplistic tweet of “poop” by one of my drummers who took my phone. This goes in the history books. Oh matt.)

I can’t complain but sometimes I still do – Joe Walsh

@HeatheroftheEO Thank you! You like me! You really, really like me! (in reply to HeatheroftheEO And the award for The Blog That Hates 100 Things goes to @katdish for http://katdish.blogspot.com/)

@beckfromfrogandtoad Your Catholic Dutch grandmother-in-law? That’s a mouthfull.

@HeatheroftheEO Because seriously. Those are the rules

@HeatheroftheEO Well please make sure in order to win the award, winner must tell 100things about themselves & make 8 other people do so. (in reply to HeatheroftheEO I think I’m going to start my own blog awards. I’ll give away awards like “best colors for a blog” – “prettiest dog on a blog” & stuff.)

Okay. Seriously leaving to run some errands now

@Helenatrandom No silly. I hope you write a short story. (in reply to Helenatrandom @katdish You hope I disintegrate? That’s kind of odd…)

@Helenatrandom Ooo! I hope you do. (in reply to Helenatrandom @katdish haven’t tried fiction since I was in college. If I was any rustier, I’d disintegrate.)

@marni71 Well that settles it. I’m gonna read it! (in reply to marni71 @katdish It would likely be your most stellar #Katrant yet!)

@marni71 Yeah. But that could be an excellent katrant, doncha think? in reply to marni71 @katdish Don’t read The Shack. If u thought The Giving Tree could cause a #Katrant…well, just sayin’.)

I felt that the it embodied the spirit of the actual meaning of IMGNAHS, which is, “I’m gonna need a hack saw.”

The winner for my “guess the acronym” contest is @RobinMArnold, even though her guess of “I might go nuts and hurt someone” was incorrect

Malcolm Gladwell’s writing pretty much fascinates me.

@muchl8r What part of town are you going to see a doctor? (in reply to muchl8r No joke, every bloody doctor i see makes me take my freaking pants off. #Why?!!)

@duane_scott Or else what? You’ll beat me over the head w/an ear of corn? (in reply to duane_scott @katdish It’s one of my favorite books. You got me to read the Gordon book by Stephen King. Now, you read The Shack or else…..)

@duane_scott I have a copy of The Shack. I can’t bring myself to read it. Don’t know why. Just stubborn I guess

@amysorrells You rendered my smart aleck comment useless. (in reply to amysorrells Oops. Smell the PANSIES. (Thanks, @katdish) New blog post: http://ow.ly/1DSt8)

@jmarkowski0 Oh, I love that song! Child of the 80s that I am. (in reply to jmarkowski0 @katdish My kids love that song and The Tubes “She’s a Beauty”, makes me smile every time)

@amysorrells Cracks me up.

My 8 YO daughter just came thru the door singing 867-5309. I love her.

@10MinuteWriter Thanks. That’s encouraging. (in reply to 10MinuteWriter All you grumpy moms out there who think that taking a nap will refresh you: keep in mind that the house WILL be messier when you wake up.)

@Brian_Russell Ooo! That creepy awesome! (in reply to Brian_Russell @katdish Yeah, its just radio, but you used to have to tell it what you liked… now it just… knows.)

@Brian_Russell Okay. But you’re not the boss of me. (in reply to Brian_Russell @katdish Go to Pandora.com and see what I mean.)

@Brian_Russell Okay. That tweet made no sense to me at all. (in reply to Brian_Russell The new Pandora that Facebook stalks you is pretty accurate.)

RT @br8kthru: @weightwhat I asked first but u ignored me! Fine. Since u like crafts, I made u something special: http://yfrog.com/5h181zcj

@Serverman5 Yes! And gross. I hate that place too. (in reply to Serverman5 @katdish oooo, so its like applebys is it? Bad everywhere.)

@Serverman5 You could just remove the “in Round Rock” and that would still be a true statement. (in reply to Serverman5 Salt grass in roundrock blows.)

It seems @buddylovethedog likes them too. http://twitpic.com/1ix4pe

I love the little wildflowers mixed with the grass in the yard. http://twitpic.com/1ix409

My tweetdeck is down. Carry on.

@redclaydiaries Twitpics? (in reply to redclaydiaries Note to self: harem pants are not a good daytime look. #peoplewatchinginthemall)

@jewda4 Thanks. It’s what I do. (in reply to jewda4 @katdish you have corrupted an originally clean tweet about hard work and ingenuity. job well done!)

@prodigaljohn And sometimes they cost sweaty money. And involve a stripper pole. (in reply to prodigaljohn Most dreams don’t cost money. They cost sweat.)

@Doallas I could probably break her down. It’s been done many times before. (in reply to Doallas RT @katdish: Man, I wish my writing could inspire stories like this everyday!: http://bit.ly/aZUjR3 //I wish Louise would get on Twitter.)

@lainiegallagher Do you mean Dave my computer table, or that dorky strap on lap top desk from the Skymall? (in reply to lainiegallagher @katdish Don’t you have some kind of awesome laptop desk or something that you were touting a while back?)

@weightwhat Okay dang….that’s just wrong on so many levels. (in reply to weightwhat @katdish By any chance did you cut your hair and take a trip to Walmart? http://www.peopleofwalmart.com/?p=12891)

Okay. Off to take a power nap!

Confession No. 2 of the day: I need a nap. I’m on like 3 hours sleep. Sometimes I can’t shut my brain down, & now I’m paying for it

@CassandraFrear It is good. Gotta work w/in the confines of what we are capable of. But we’re capable of much more than we know. (in reply to CassandraFrear @katdish Well, that just shows how unique each person is. We learn to work with what we’ve been given. It’s good.)

@CassandraFrear a LOT!!!! (in reply to CassandraFrear @katdish I just Googled Low Carb Monster. See what you started? How much caffiene is in one?)

@CassandraFrear For today, yes. (in reply to CassandraFrear @katdish So are you off coffee completely?)

@CassandraFrear No. I’ve switched to low carb monster. It’s after lunch, after all. (in reply to CassandraFrear @katdish Thanks. Got any coffee?)

Who says you can’t find quality you tube videos on the Smartypants Blog? I do! http://bit.ly/b66sUw

@CassandraFrear Well, welcome aboard the crazy train. (in reply to CassandraFrear @katdish And just think. I’ve decided to be a writer.)

@CassandraFrear I was putting “air quotes” around the word “special”. Some things get lost in translation (in reply to CassandraFrear @katdish I just Googled “air quotes”. It didn’t help me understand your last tweet. Clue?)

@CassandraFrear Sorry. You know when someone says something & the put their 2 fingers of each hand up to indicate something in quotes?

@CassandraFrear “air quotes” (in reply to CassandraFrear @katdish Well, I have trouble with meanings AND spellings. That’s because I’m special.)

So, I got the most AMAZING note in the mail this week. Never hesitate if you feel lead to encourage someone. It truly blessed me

@CassandraFrear Oh, that’s way too practical for me! (in reply to CassandraFrear @katdish My editor husband inserted American Heritage Dictionary in my bookmarks bar. http://bit.ly/cBSmL9 I use it often.)

Confession: I use google as my go-to spell check engine at least twice a day.
Writers: @spressfield has a great writing post every Wednesday: http://bit.ly/2s7zRq

@lainiegallagher Hello there! Welcome to the twitter! Now go get yourself an avatar. That bird creeps me out.

@redclaydiaries Nice! http://twitpic.com/1ihap3

@PeterPollock You are a strange man, Peter Pollock. (in reply to PeterPollock Just touched a stingray. It felt like jello. Or pudding. It’s making me hungry)

So many mailboxes, so little time. http://twitpic.com/1i2v84

@cascheller It’s funny because it’s true… (in reply to cascheller @katdish I like the Moms Are Better than Dads T-shirt.)

@redclaydiaries I gotta be me…or Bon Qui Qui. Whichever is applicable. (in reply to redclaydiaries @katdish RUDE.)

@redclaydiaries Ah will cut you… (in reply to redclaydiaries @katdish Sorry/you’re welcome. I wonder if they deliver in Texas…)

@redclaydiaries Oh GAAAAA!!! Make it stop! (in reply to redclaydiaries Reading about new kids’ birthday fad: http://bit.ly/9QqMWx So @katdish, is THIS how you were scarred for life?)

I’m at my dad’s house: Land of crappy internet. The epic twitter update has been posted (finally)

On writing, bacon and taxidermy

I’m visiting my dad this weekend: Land of crappy internet service. I want to apologize to those who have been anxiously awaiting this update…all three of you. Anyhoo, it seems this update is awash in conversations between @redclaydiaries and me. What can I say? We crack ourselves up. And Sweet Fancy Moses! This update is really long. Feel free to stop reading when your retinas begin to bleed…

And now the best (or not) of me on the twitter this week:

RT @noveldoctor: Tragedy is when two parallel lines fall in love.

@noveldoctor Hmmm….So maybe it wasn’t the coffee pot I’ve been smelling. (in reply to noveldoctor @katdish burnt coffee.)

@noveldoctor What does insanity smell like? (in reply to noveldoctor Hope and insanity both expect different results from doing the same thing over & over. But hope smells like cupcakes.)

RT @noveldoctor: Sometimes a little voice tells me I’m a terrible writer. I never should have bought that parrot.

RT @noveldoctor: Some people write fiction to hide the truth. Others write fiction to reveal it. I prefer the latter.

With friends like @redclaydiaries, who need enemas?

RT @redclaydiaries: @katdish I think Twitter’s trying to tell you that you’re a washed-up has-been.

“Problems updating katdish” Grrr…

@RobinMArnold I like those words. May have to replace my stardard “blogstipation” and “bloggerrhea” (in reply to RobinMArnold @katdish @redclaydiaries I’m just so proud and inspired by your bloggy productivity lately! Is that problogtivity or blogductive?)

I KNEW IT! >RT @redclaydiaries: @katdish Read today on MY blog: writing in waves. Also: I like @bridgetchumbley more than you.

@redclaydiaries I wait over a year for you to send me a guest post, but @bridgetchumbley gets on right away? Uh, huh. I see how you are.

Snort! http://twitpic.com/1hr4rm

@weightwhat He’s so young, he doesn’t even know what he doesn’t know yet (in reply to weightwhat @duane_scott You have no idea what Grease even is, do ya kid?)

My spellcheck is not working in blogger, as if to say, “I give up. You’re totally making these words up, aren’t you?”

@10MinuteWriter Are you craving some tots? (in reply to 10MinuteWriter @katdish Okay, this photo makes me homesick for Oklahoma.)

Everything’s bigger in Texas. Including roller skating tater tots. http://twitpic.com/1hmcnv

@WriteOnRideOn Sorry/you’re welcome (in reply to WriteOnRideOn @katdish Let’s just say I’m glad I wasn’t drinking anything that stains when you said that. ROFLOL. Brownies sure has changed since I was 1.)

@WriteOnRideOn Taxidermy. (in reply to WriteOnRideOn @katdish Oh NO. You killed Santa’s reindeer at a Brownies meeting? WHAT badge was that???!!!!)

@WriteOnRideOn The funny thing? I’m at a Brownies meeting. (in reply to WriteOnRideOn @katdish Shuddering. I’m glad no children are around to see THAT. Quel HORROR. #hisnoseusedtobesoshinyandbright)

@WriteOnRideOn No, here he is! http://twitpic.com/1hm5oy

(in reply to WriteOnRideOn @katdish So, apparently only Rudolph escaped????)

@makeadiff21 This is Texas Ginny. It’s called rustic art. (in reply to makeadiff21 @katdish Oh, that’s just awful)

@Helenatrandom exactly…(in reply to Helenatrandom @katdish @makeadiff21 I guess that’s what they get for calling Rudolf names and ostracizing him that way…)

Where are they now?: Santa’s reindeer http://twitpic.com/1hm3k4

@HeatherSunseri I thought that was pretty much every day. (in reply to HeatherSunseri What do writers do when they have a day of self-doubt and insecurity? Write some more or give up and start fresh another day?)

In honor of #EARTHDAY, We are having free range chicken tonite instead of spotted owl.

@PeterPollock SNORT! (in reply to PeterPollock Saw a woman who looked like @katdish… I was beginning to wonder but then she stood still and quiet for 5 seconds so I knew it wasn’t her)

@redclaydiaries @RobinMArnold “Connectinator”? I like that.

@shrinkingcamel “Katdish” day, or as it is often referred to, “Katdishmas” is August 5. (in reply to shrinkingcamel @katdish So when is Katdish Day? If there’s an Earth Day, surely we should have a Katdish Day too.)

@brandonacox Connector: @redclaydiaries because she plays well with others & she has a gazillion followers.

AHEM >RT @brandonacox: Tell me one person, on Twitter, you consider a “connector.” (however you define that)

HA! Just kidding…

In honor of Earth Day tomorrow, I’m going to abstain from all electricity usage, including my computer.

I feel an incessant rant coming on…

Shouldn’t you request friends and not fans?

Dear churches that create Fan Pages on Facebook. Do you really think that’s the message you should be sending?

@redclaydiaries I really have no excuse, as my badness is perfected. (in reply to redclaydiaries @katdish I’m just workin my badness. What’s ur excuse?)

“Never hit a man in anger unless you’re absolutely sure you can get away with it” ~ Harold Ramis

@marni71 It’s rude of your frankly? Snort! (in reply to marni71 @billycoffey I know, it’s rude of my frankly. I FINALLY installed Tweetdeck on my home laptop so maybe I’ll be around more.)

@gyoung9751 That would be awesome (in reply to gyoung9751 @katdish I loved your comment. I may have to buy a beret. Russell at @LuvStomp said he could hear bongos.)

@sarahmsalter So whenever you’re looking for a post full of gratuitous violence, let me know.

@sarahmsalter Well, if you must know, @billycoffey’s post inspired me to watch the rest of Season 2 of 24.

@billycoffey It’s probably best. (in reply to billycoffey @katdish You’re welcome. I’m not even going to ask what you were doing.)

Gaaa! Thanks everyone! I’ve been doing “research” today, and have been away from tweetdeck.

EXACTLY! RT @SurfCorp: @katdish I couldn’t agree more. My motto is if I am unwilling to sign it; it shouldn’t be said.

Otherwise, you just look like a big, fat jerk.

If you believe you have a valid criticism, use your name, or better yet, have the decency to send the person a private email.

Leaving rude, anonymous comments is the Internet equivalent of leaving a burning bag of dog poop at someone’s front door and running away.

@billycoffey Sarah started it. I wash my hands of the entire situation. (in reply to billycoffey @brookelmcg I’m blaming @katdish and @sarahmsalter.)

@billycoffey Good call… (in reply to billycoffey @sarahmsalter @katdish @diam0ndhead94 I should shut up now.)

@billycoffey TWHS (in reply to billycoffey @weightwhat @Helenatrandom @katdish @sarahmsalter I’m glad I could bring a smile to your faces this afternoon, ladies.)

Can I get an Amen? >RT @billycoffey: @PeterPollock You’re a strange man, Peter Pollock.

@Helenatrandom You mean about how men think the uterus is a homing device?

Being a domestic goddess is just not in the cards for me

Which is quickly gobbled up by my 10# weiner dog. So I have to pull the 10 x 3 piece of fat out of the jowls of the beast who is fighting me

A peek into my day: Before browning a pork roast destined for the crockpot, I cut off a 10″ x 3″ piece of fat that lands on the floor…

@weightwhat I’ll just send them in your direction. You seem to have a larger audience of tin foil wearing readers. (in reply to weightwhat @katdish Better watch out – someone might be offended by the use of ‘tin foil hat.’)

@HeatheroftheEO Ooo! “katrant” Perhaps another katdishionary entry? (in reply to HeatheroftheEO @katdish Hi back! And thank you, lady. I’ll be waiting for the rant you feel coming on. I love me a good katrant.)

Oh how precious! Congrats! RT @BabySpeedyBee: Here he is! http://twitpic.com/1gryea

@togetherforgood Not that I would ever do that, of course…

@togetherforgood Um, Benedryl? Put modern medicine to work for you. (in reply to togetherforgood @katdish did I mention my children did not allow me a nap today?)

@lorencklein I would, but I am vehemently anti-crap. (in reply to lorencklein @katdish Maybe you need to prepare for next Easter now. No need to procrastinate, you know… ;^)

@togetherforgood snort! (in reply to togetherforgood @katdish I mean, i still am thinking WHAT IN THE WORLD. but at least those aren’t its udders. I’m just saying.)

@RobinMArnold And it very misses you! (in reply to RobinMArnold I very miss Texas.)

@SurfCorp well thanks. You got that right! (in reply to SurfCorp Looking to follow someone who has something to say? @reporterhaley @lollydaskal @katdish @blogomomma @BethLayne)

And here’s some crap you don’t need. But buy it anyway because it’s on sale. http://twitpic.com/1go00m

Inspiring, really. http://twitpic.com/1gnzj5

Who says you can’t find fine art at the grocery store? http://twitpic.com/1gnyg1

@marni71 Tis mine as well. (in reply to marni71 @katdish Well of course…it is my lifesong after all.)

@marni71 Followed by a rousing chorus of Fat Bottomed Girls! (in reply to marni71 @katdish Yay! I can see you now too. Let’s sing a chorus of “We are the champions”!)

@marni71 Yes. My tweetdeck is awash in your lovely face (in reply to marni71 @katdish Can you see me? (in the Tweetdeck sense?)

@CandySteele It’s a sixth sense, really…(in reply to CandySteele @katdish I swear, you can be in the tub and hear your name called on the twitter.)

@marni71 WHAT??? Stupid tweetdeck (in reply to marni71 Rebooted. Columns are still too wide and Twitter says @katdish isn’t my friend. HEADS ARE GONNA ROLL!)

@redclaydiaries Hey Steph! Say hello to my little friend. He’s waiting for you! http://bit.ly/bTkLoa

(in reply to redclaydiaries @RobinMArnold That would be @katdish. I have a deep & abiding love for clowns. Mostly because @katdish hates them)

Girl-what would scare you most? Me-probably if something happened to U or your brother. Girl-wanna know what would scare me the most?… Me-tell me. Girl-being attacked by a ninja.

@redclaydiaries I knew you’d understand. There is no spoon. (in reply to redclaydiaries @katdish Oh. Well of course. That makes sense.)

@redclaydiaries I don’t know. That’s my go-to Icelandic Ass Clown name. (in reply to redclaydiaries @katdish One question: Serge? Really?)

Jesus had 12 disciples who followed him everywhere. How annoying is that? Think he ever just turned to them & said, “WHAT?!?”-J Stewart

I think what went wrong w/Christianity is exactly what happens when you try to get a dog to look at something on television… Jesus pointed to God, and everyone just stares at his finger ~ Frank Miles

@MarketerMikeE Ass was in the bible, & @redclaydiaries started it. (in reply to MarketerMikeE @katdish did you just tweet “ass”? I’m calling a meeting of the deacons and elders.)

I have 3 books to read & review. Also 2 MS I want to read. Also I need to finish a guest post. So here I am. On twitterโ€ฆ Procrastination, thy name is katdish.

Flight of the Ass Clowns #rejectedTVpilots

@redclaydiaries Well I think ass clowns is a good start. (in reply to redclaydiaries @katdish I KNOW. I now have too much material. I don’t know where to start. What should I write about?)

@redclaydiaries Well, don’t resort to writing a blog post. Wouldn’t want you to hurt yourself. (in reply to redclaydiaries @katdish potato, potahto? (Can u tell I have creativity that I need to channel today?)

@redclaydiaries tomato, tomatto (in reply to redclaydiaries @katdish Like a yellow jacket to an open can of Coke!)

@redclaydiaries Like a moth to a flame! (in reply to redclaydiaries @katdish I love how if we want u on Twitter, all we have to do is tweet something inappropriate.)

@redclaydiaries Wait…ass clown? What’d I miss? (in reply to redclaydiaries @CandySteele I don’t know HOW soon he’ll be home. What with the ass clown and all.)

@redclaydiaries Okay. But I did not shoot the deputy. (in reply to redclaydiaries

@katdish Um, YOU burnt the bacon. Haven’t we already established that?)

@SBeeCreations Who burnt the bacon? (in reply to SBeeCreations @katdish it’s burnt)

@redclaydiaries Or TWHS

@redclaydiaries TWSS. (in reply to redclaydiaries @katdish Yes, but you burned @marni71 ‘s bacon.)

@marni71 I’ll always take credit for bacon. Morning! (in reply to marni71 @redclaydiaries let’s blame @katdish for the bacon.)

@PeterPollock Hypocrites! I tell ya! (in reply to PeterPollock @katdish If that’s true, then why do they complain when big people wear fur coats?)

Um, sorry. Not exactly. http://twitpic.com/1g2w1h

@jpwire Well, that’s certainly not a good look. Not a fan of clowns or circus tents. (in reply to jpwire @katdish I love those dresses but they make me look like a clown wearing the circus tent.)

Check out these 60’s dresses at Target. I gotta say, I’m liking this trend. Comfort b4 fashion I always say. http://twitpic.com/1g2t7b

Okay seriously people (cough* @amysorrells * cough) If you want me to RT your posts, MAKE THE TWEETS SHORTER.

@PeterPollock Oh, stop! You’ll be cursing me again in no time! (in reply to PeterPollock My time management / speed of response to certain things is pathetic. Sorry @katdish and @billycoffey . Just sorry.)

The definitive guides to zombie killing. http://twitpic.com/1g1tyy

My children are SO demanding! Take me here, feed me, clothe me, shelter me! Dang.

Sky Mall zombies, social media gurus and Jack Bauer

You know what? I’ve been followed and unfollowed more in the past week than I ever have. I use Mr. Tweet sometimes to find people to follow. I highly recommend it. I’ve found some really great folks to follow using it. But an unfortunate side effect of following new folks is that the “social media marketing experts” find you, follow you hoping for a courtesy refollow, and then unceremoniously dump you after you don’t refollow them after 24 hours. Because they could care less about you. They’re just artificially increasing their own followings so they can call themselves “social media experts”. To be fair, there actually are a few folks who know what they’re doing, but they typically don’t seek you out first. What a joke. Whateva, end of mini rant.

In other news, I got a sweet deal on a Season 2 DVD set of 24, and I watched an atrocious amount of television this week. Speaking of which, there is a video in this post that is a bit on the violent side. Fair warning.

And now the best of me (or not) on the twitter this week:

RT @stretchmarkmama: Brought home a Where’s Waldo book from the library with every Waldo circled in marker. Jackpot!

RT @muchl8r: Our job isn’t to make ourselves into someone but rather to find out who we were made to be then become that person:)

@weightwhat Actually, I think Sasquatch is agnostic. #tweetsthatmakenosenseunlessyoureadmyblog

@chuckallen CLOWN MIMES??? Sweet Fancy Moses! (in reply to chuckallen RT @katdish: @bryanallain And clowns, mimes, and blue man group. // I once danced with clown mimes at a zoo. That was pretty scary.)

@HeatherSunseri Wow. That must have been horrible. (in reply to HeatherSunseri @katdish Believe it or not, I got trapped in St. Croix b/c of volcanic ash on the runways.I was forced to remain in tropics for extra day)

@marni71 Morning! He’s stuck in Paris because of volcano. I know, right? (in reply to marni71 @redclaydiaries @katdish @sarahmsalter Good morning ladies. So what’s up with @charliewetzel and his travels?)

@redclaydiaries Would you like me to DM @charliewetzel my Sky Mall posts? It’s no problem, really… (in reply to redclaydiaries @sarahmsalter He’s staying in a local hotel overnight. Booked to fly in AM. IF airspace is open by then.)

@noveldoctor Morning Sunshine! (in reply to noveldoctor @katdish [Mumbles coined word that combines benign greeting with mild expletive. Puts on sunglasses. Shuffles out of room.]

@noveldoctor HIYA STEVE!!!!!! HOW ARE YOU THIS MORNING! (in reply to noveldoctor It is a great kindness when morning people scale back their perkiness upon greeting non-morning people.)

@bryanallain And clowns, mimes, and blue man group. (in reply to bryanallain The only thing we have to fear is fear itself…and robots cross-breeding with wolverines.)

If loving the movie Zombieland is wrong, I don’t wanna be right.

My first car was a 1978 Ford Fairmont Futura piece of crap that I paid for myself. With no AC. In Houston.

The high school is right next to the junior high. Since when does a 16 year old need to drive a Lexus or an Escalade?

Wait, I’m not finished complaining yet…

Well, my son missed the bus this morning & I had to wait in the car line at the junior high. That sucked.

Goodnight @herbiegookins, wherever you are!

We’ll cover zombies on Friday. Did you know Woody Harrelson’s father died in prison? #random&uselessinformation

@NEgraceful He was a handsome beast wasn’t he? (in reply to NEgraceful @katdish Intrigued…and still thinking about the giraffe from the last SkyMall post.)

@CassandraFrear Thanks. I love Sky Mall. Endless blog fodder. (in reply to CassandraFrear @katdish Can’t wait to read it ! Your last “gardening” post was amazing! It’ll be my first cup of coffee for sure.)

@VariantVal It’s a natural progression, don’t you think? (in reply to VariantVal @katdish you’re growing horns?)

Sorry I’ve been so scarce today. And now I’m fixin’ to be scarce again. Off to horn lessons!

Alrighty. I’m pretty exhausted from watching TV for the past 4 hours. (Wow, that’s just sad) Goodnight

My 2 part Sky Mall backyard series has now been expanded to a 3 part. I know. You’re welcome.

And I gotta tell ya, I’m pretty heartbroken.

All of the “social media experts” that followed me in droves are now unfollowing me because I didn’t courtesy refollow.

@VariantVal Okay, dirty how? Ewh… (in reply to VariantVal @katdish He said he didn’t want to get them dirty so LMAO)

@VariantVal WHY DIDN’T HE HAVE PANTS ON?

@elaina_avalos I talk about a lot of things most people just keep to themselves (in reply to elaina_avalos @katdish I don’t know. I don’t think I’ve ever heard anyone talk about that. Haha. Maybe the Dog Whisperer knows?)

@Helenatrandom Yeah…I’m a legend in my own mind. (in reply to Helenatrandom @katdish Don’t they know who he is? The dog of a famous blogger and twitterer deserves more respect!)

@Helenatrandom Buddy Lane, is in my ears and in my eyes. There beneath the blue suburban skies… (in reply to Helenatrandom @katdish Why, I think your dog walking route should be renamed “Buddy Love Lane” …)

RT @noveldoctor: “Romantic idealist” is just a nicer way of saying “single and alone.”

@Helenatrandom There would be a lot of bronzed mailboxes here if everyone felt that way. (in reply to Helenatrandom @katdish But of course! I know I would have my mailbox BRONZED if @buddylovethedog phantom peed on it! BRONZED!)

@Helenatrandom they dig it the most. (in reply to Helenatrandom @katdish Awww… I bet the neighbors find that SO adorable…)

Patiently walking @buddylovethedog as he phantom pees on everyone’s mailbox.

@jennybekrocks Yeah. I think I just threw up in my mouth a little. (in reply to jennybekrocks @katdish And cold sores. I’m going to stop now. I’m grossing myself out.)

@jennybekrocks That’s so true. Lice works like that, too. (in reply to jennybekrocks @beckfromfrogandtoad @katdish everyone knows you can’t get rid of illness until you share it … ๐Ÿ˜‰

RT @amysorrells: @katdish My “sketching out” process is top-secret. I could tell you, but then . . . I’d have to write it. LOL

@amysorrells Mmm hmmm. Define “sketching out (in reply to amysorrells @katdish I’m sketching out a second (or third) one, depending on how you count ’em! Really!)

@amysorrells Okay, fine. How’s the MS coming along then? Are you writing? Hmmm????? (in reply to amysorrells @katdish I’m so not a blogcrastinator. SO not.)

In carpool line. Just noticed my right rear tire is low. Rethinking the “drive your daughter to school in your pjs” thing.

Jack Bauer – You had me at “I’m gonna need a hacksaw”.

RT @noveldoctor: If you have the gift of writing and yet don’t write, you’re the author of a tragedy.

@CandySteele that cat looks like he’s praising Jesus. Amen. (in reply to CandySteele @katdish I found this when I went to DC and thought of you. Looks like awesome cat on crack http://is.gd/bq0tG

@MrTweet_Alert Also? @redclaydiaries called me annoying

@MrTweet_Alert Mr. Tweet. You are very helpful albeit very bossy… (in reply to MrTweet_Alert @katdish – redclaydiaries recommended you to @MrTweet. You should acknowledge it here: http://bit.ly/97qgI9)

Man, it’s 1PM already. I need a sammich

@pwilson re: today’s post. Check out this flag made of baseballs. Awesome. http://twitpic.com/1f2sd7

@weightwhat Happy Birthday Princess!

For the record, I typically only refollow real people, not bots.

Oh-em-Gee! I check my email and suddenly I’m being followed by a gaIllion Internet marketing “gurus”. Wuddup with that?

I’m married. I don’t need the “easily meet in many dating”.

The easily meet in the many dating is here! I’ll get even made a cute girl in your area, so many people register for girls! (Translated)

Um, okay. Now I don’t feel bad for deleting the comment. Thanks for your help @elaina_avalos

I suppose I could send the comment to my mom and ask her what it means, but that would require my mom have working knowledge of a computer.

But what if this person is really trying to leave a comment, and is getting increasingly angry at me for not publishing it?

So…Every single day, I get a comment on one particular post, but it’s written in Japanese. I figure it’s spam, so I delete it…

We actually DID have potatoes after all! You’re welcome. http://twitpic.com/1ep094

@maggiedammit That’s really the only explanation for the McRib (McKnuckle) sandwich. (in reply to maggiedammit I am 100% convinced McDonald’s food contains a mind erasing drug so you forget how gross it is until the next time.)

@duane_scott You are wise beyond your years young man. (in reply to duane_scott @katdish remind me not to hang out with you ever… I value my life still.)

@duane_scott Some things are nature, not nurture. Samurai blood and all…(in reply to duane_scott What are you teaching your kids anyway?!)

Kids say the darndest things don’t they? http://twitpic.com/1el9ty

Tweets about Peeps, et. al…


image courtesy of photobucket.com

I wasn’t really on the tweetdeck much this week, so you would think I wouldn’t have many tweets to sort through. Sheah, right… (And yes, they’re in backwards order, as always.)

The best of me (or not) on the twitter this week:

@SBeeCreations Snort! And dang it! (in reply to SBeeCreations @katdish sounds like you may need to do an extra load of whites)

If driving up slowly behind my 12 YO son & honking the horn is wrong, I don’t wanna be right.

@dlrayburn @Brian_Russell Yesh! That’s the word. Yeah, I can’t do that.(in reply to @dlrayburn @katdish Telekinesis?)

Oh, not mind control. What is that think where you move things with your mind? Besides my innate stubbornness I mean.

Despite repeated attempts at mind control, the sheets have NOT put themselves back on the bed. Bummer.

@Brian_Russell Come to think of it, the stuff in my brain? Not sure the world is ready for that

@Brian_Russell So what I need to do, is to transfer what’s in my brain on to paper, then figure out how to get that on a computer.

@Brian_Russell No, because I don’t see one I want. This is why I create. Because the stuff in my brain is not readily available anywhere. (in reply to Brian_Russell @katdish Well, yeah… you need help deciding?)

@unmarketing I’m pretty smart for a girl. (in reply to unmarketing @katdish glad you noticed that ๐Ÿ™‚

@unmarketing Wait…did you write a blog post about not writing blog posts?

@CassandraFrear @billycoffey wrote a post about Sponge Bob boxers. I’m still deleting viagra spam comments. (in reply to CassandraFrear I’m getting spam for Valium. What did I tweet?)

@myapronstrings You’re so good. I really should get you to design my blog. But after you’re done, you would hate me.

@TheBonnieGray The secret is less Facebook. I try not to go there much, unless I having a burning desire to play Farmville, which I never do (in reply to TheBonnieGray When Twitter, Blogging or Facebooking Stresses http://bit.ly/cgc0qW Make This UR ONE Ambition)

It is now, BTW.

So, after over a year on twitter, I noticed that my actual name is not on my account. Duh…

RT @pamelajclements: Great meeting with @billycoffey to plan launch of Snow Day. What a GREAT read. I LOVE the part about the Tonka Truck.

@Brian_Russell @PeterPollock is my go-to geek, I just can’t decide what I want. (in reply to Brian_Russell @katdish Heck, I’m sure some people on the internet would LOVE to help you design a website! ๐Ÿ™‚

@PeterPollock Can I just draw a picture of a layout I want and you miracle it up for me?

So apparently, wordpress themes with pictures of couches are a big deal. I don’t see the appeal of that.

@nkehr I’m sorry….who are you? Snort! Just kidding. Thanks so much! (in reply to nkehr Talented but not stuck up! – – > See here right here #FF @katdish – – go…go on!)

@br8kthru Yes. I was trying to behave myself… (in reply to br8kthru @billycoffey that’s a TWSS set-up if I’ve ever seen one… ๐Ÿ™‚

RT @billycoffey: In the end, all we can do is hang on tight and smile when it’s over ~ http://bit.ly/bTRpb7

“If truth is beauty, how come no one has their hair done in a library?” – Lily Tomlin

@Peacegardenmama Thank you. And I’d just like to say in advance, Sorry/you’re welcome. (in reply to Peacegardenmama @billycoffey I just followed @katdish. See the influence you have? ๐Ÿ™‚

@billycoffey Aw, thanks. You too. (in reply to billycoffey If you’re following me, you should be following @katdish. Because she’s awesome. #FF)

@monicasharman What is a @tweetmeme button? And @llbarkat is not the boss of me. (in reply to monicasharman @katdish You should think about getting a @tweetmeme button. @llbarkat said so (which is reason enough).

@NargesNirumvala Low Carb Monster completes me. (in reply to NargesNirumvala @katdish Hi Katdish, that stuff doesn’t look healthy. ๐Ÿ˜‰

Switching from coffee to low carb monster and….it’s GO time! http://twitpic.com/1e1zc5

@Becks_Beer Agony Uncle Beck? So, you’re giving advice based on your years of life experience? What are you, 25?

@amysorrells Are you following my friend @herbiegookins? She lives in Johnny Cougarville too.

RT @SBeeCreations: @katdish Taiwan version of AI. Boy sounds like Whitney Houston. It’s amazing. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UB2Tl0xOqbI

@amysorrells What grows in Texas? Around here mostly fire ant mounds and crawfish holes.

@JodyHedlund Exactly. God is sooo good! (in reply to JodyHedlund @katdish @rachelheldevans Seriously. I thank God in advance for the big movie deal I’m sure he’s planned for me. ๐Ÿ˜‰

@rachelheldevans That’s so true! I often thank God in advance for the awesome parking spot He’s going to miracle me at the mall. (in reply to rachelheldevans A friend’s FB status: “I can’t believe God gave us a house!” One response: “It’s because you are one of God’s favorites!” (???)

@chrissulli Hey, you’re being productive at failing. That counts, right? (in reply to chrissulli @katdish Pretty well, just trying to be productive and failing)

@chrissulli Currently, I’m doing laundry and defaming a childrens book. How goes it with you?

@muchl8r Hey now…I’m liking this avatar! And you’re right. You’re way meaner than Jon Acuff, which is cool. ( in reply to muchl8r One of my co-workers just compared me to Jon Acuff as he’s listening to “Stuff Christians Like” -I’m meaner, but it still made my day :D)

So…I will be posting 3 peeps videos tomorrow. I know. You’re welcome.

@amysorrells Oh, well. I’m all about casting out Devils…Go DAWGS! But don’t expect me to miss Jack Bauer… (in reply to amysorrells @katdish Ha! You crack me up. Wait . . . that’s what you’re supposed to say . . . Anyway, root 4 the DAWGS to cast some DEVILS outta here!

@amysorrells Butler and Duke? Is that a dog fight or is the hired help fighting again?

Why yes, as a matter of fact, I AM easily amused…

Yankees were the clear cut winner. http://twitpic.com/1dg3j9

I decided to settle the Yankees vs Red Sox battle in the only fair way. http://twitpic.com/1dg3d8

Wondering how to work in a Peeps battle into the topic of “Gentleness” for the blog carnival…

@duane_scott Texan? Nah, I’m bad. I’m nationwide. (in reply to duane_scott @katdish Goodmorning Texan!)

Oh, and we’re on the 5th hole.

I’m not a golfer. How many Mulligans are acceptable when playing 9 holes? So far I’ve counted 7 from the guy my son is playing with.

@lorencklein Don’t drink and golf! (in reply to lorencklein @katdish I pulled a Dukes of Hazzard stunt with a golf cart once. I snapped the springs on the rear axle and cracked the axle itself. Fun!)

Getting ready to take my son to play 9 holes of golf, mostly because I really like driving the golf cart…

RT @Matt_SLife: I probably need to work on my indecisiveness… Maybe. I don’t know… Nevermind.

Biting one’s tongue is an acquired taste.

@CassandraFrear I’m a mystery wrapped inside an enigma. Or something like that… (in reply to CassandraFrear @katdish Later, I worried that it could seem snarky. But I didn’t mean it that way. I’m hooked, reading your writing! You fascinate me.)

RT @XIANITY: TECHNOLOGY: Responding to criticism, Appleยฎ renames the iPadยฎ to the more appropriate iDolยฎ

Sorry/you’re welcome! Have a great weekend!

I love me some twitpics

I was debating whether or not to do a twitter post this week. Note to self, when debating whether or not to do a twitter post, settle the debate before 10 pm, otherwise, you’ll be up way past your bedtime…

And now the best of me (or not) on the twitter:

@pagan43 Peptoflingo? Nice… (in reply to pagan43 @katdish http://twitpic.com/1cpwa6 – ” IT ” finished all 3 bowlsful and still has room to eat those leaves ? Peptoflingo.)

@TchrEric It better not be anyone from Georgia! (in reply to TchrEric @katdish Maybe someone will buy it for you for Christmas, you know, anonymously,because they love you, -could be anyone, everyone loves Kat!)

@TchrEric Yeah…like that’s gonna happen. (in reply to TchrEric @katdish Send the pic of it when it is in your house/yard! ๐Ÿ™‚

In a word, Magestic! http://twitpic.com/1cpwa6

New at Target: Zombie Girlz! http://twitpic.com/1couhx

@br8kthru Hey now! That’s catchy! (in reply to br8kthru @katdish or how about “Crap You Don’t Need (But it’s only $1)”

I’m going to open a store called “There’s a reason it’s only 99 cents”

@billycoffey Freaking Yay!

RT @billycoffey: RT @DueFriday Galleys of SNOW DAY by @billycoffey and THE CHURCH AWAKENING by Charles Swindoll just showed up on my desk!

Okay people. Gotta go face my arch nemesis – the grocery store.

RT @noveldoctor: Ben and Jerry’s to introduce new writer-themed sorbet: Literary Agent Orange – “It tastes like rejection!”

And by “adult fiction novels” I realize I was being redundant. Sorry, my bad.

@PeterPollock And FYI, my daughter has read your MS about 5 times. She loves it.

I’ve read two of the best adult fiction novels I’ve ever read this year, & neither one is published yet.

@PeterPollock Let me rephrase that… (in reply to PeterPollock @katdish I don’t get it… ‘cos you read my book LAST year, not this year ?)

I’ve read 2 of the best books I’ve ever read this year, & neither one is published yet.

@M1ke6 – If you’re only going to talk to me via DM, I’m not giving you the potato salad recipe.

@jamieworley Aw, Jamie…It’s a good thing we’re not neighbors. Snort! (in reply to jamieworley Gullible people like me should not be allowed out of the house or online on April Fools Day.)

Ooo! My mom is bringing her famous potato salad on Sunday! Nom, nom!

Esp. if followed by “anymore” RT @curtharding: You know it’s a bad day when your lawyer tells the press that you’re not a Nazi

@noveldoctor Yeah, but I wonder what the resale value is. ( in reply to noveldoctor @katdish Then here’s some good news: You don’t have to report empty longing and unredeemable angst to the IRS!)

@Goannatree I have celebrity ducks and bunnies commenting on my blog. It’s all very sordid.

@noveldoctor Hey, wait a minute…by that description, I think I already am one. (in reply to noveldoctor @katdish I pay my favorite muse with empty longing and unredeemable angst. She loves it. You should probably ask for cash, though.)

@VariantVal I do a pretty good Stevie Nicks impersonation. Saw her twirl right off the stage once. I was like, “Where’d she go?”

@noveldoctor I should branch out and be a rent-a-muse. (in reply to noveldoctor @katdish I don’t know. Maybe tomorrow? My personal muse is missing, but I can always rent one for a day.)

Oh, Sweet Fancy Moses! Due to ever increasing threatening comments on my blog by @bunbuntherabbit et al, I will post a rematch on Tues.

@melissa_rae Yah! August is commonly known as “Dishmas” around here. More specifically, “katdishmas”.

RT @noveldoctor: Vampire novels: out. Umpire novels: in. “Harry Wendelstedt and the Foul Tip of Death” a sure bestseller

Integrity is not found in the limelight, it is where it is tested.

RT @noveldoctor: “Ubiquitous” named Word of the Year by everybody, everywhere.

@weightwhat I’m holding out for the “Monkey butt in my pocket” shirt (in reply to weightwhat I’m making a new shirt. Go ahead, be thrilled.)

@HeatheroftheEO @VariantVal I must confess, I only sampled a tiny piece of the Cadbury egg, then I threw up in my mouth a little.

@mandythompson You just described every one of my family reunions. But there was typically alcohol involved. (in reply to mandythompson Does anyone know anything about a video where everybody’s laughing… But they don’t know why??)

“The wages of sin are death, but after taxes, It’s really just more of a tired feeling.” – Paula Poundstone

Epic Laziness: Stomach growling, but too lazy to fix anything to eat.

@duane_scott Being me is a pretty sweet gig. I highly recommend it. (in reply to duane_scott NO FAIR! Working on blueprints holds no amusement. RT @katdish: Peeps + microwave = I am SO easily amused!)

Peeps + microwave = I am SO easily amused! 8:36 AM Mar 31st via TweetDeck

Dear New Followers: If the word “motenize” appears anywhere in your profile, I wouldn’t hold my breath for a courtesy refollow.

@redclaydiaries yes. I’m jotting some down now. (in reply to redclaydiaries @katdish @marni71 What? Another event w @prodigaljohn & @loswhit? I bet they’d pay u to NOT ask inappropriate questions like last time)

@marni71 That might entail me having to take notes. Not so sure about that. (in reply to marni71 @katdish My association paid to send me. Maybe your church could send you??)

Irony http://twitpic.com/1bzzwn

@marni71 I’m just hoping to see @loswhit &@prodigaljohn sit uncomfortably close to one another again like at Off the Blogs.

The housewares dept at Ross: where good taste goes to die. http://twitpic.com/1bzwc0

@marni71 I won’t rush the stage for an autograph, but I can’t promise I won’t rush the stage. (in reply to marni71 @prodigaljohn Just registered to attend Echo. I’ve invited @katdish to join me. I won’t rush the stage for an autograph. Promise!)

@marni71 No offense to them, but I’d drive up there just to see you, Marns. (in reply to marni71 @katdish July 28-30. Jon, Donald Miller and Carlos Whittaker are speaking. I’m ready to pee myself…)

RT @billycoffey: When it comes to people, I prefer blatant arrogance to false humility.//YESH!

@marni71 when is it? I’m up for a road trip! (in reply to marni71 @katdish KATHY!! @prodigaljohn is speaking at the Echo Conf. in Dallas. Come with meeeeeee….pleeeeeaaaasssee! We’ll have so much fun.)

RT @weightwhat: Did you guys hear about Ricky Martin? Can you believe he’s 38?

I’m like a Coffey/Coffee magnet or something.

Don’t know how you found me, but thanks for the follow @CoffeyAnderson

So, check this out! Another very talented Coffey: @CoffeyAnderson http://bit.ly/bbqAev

@miller_schloss Yay Us! (in reply to miller_schloss @bryanallain Yeah, well, I got to share a sentence with @dewde, @katdish, and @helenatrandom.) Referring to a mention in Jon Acuffโ€™s book Stuff Christians Like.

Watching Life on Discovery Channel. If I were a fish, I think I would be a Sarcastic Fringe Head fish.

Religion: I obey, therefore I am accepted by God/Gospel: I am accepted by God through the work of Jesus Christโ€”therefore I obey.~Keller

@monicasharman Ah yes. The bling of choice for all the white upper middle class mall gangstas in my hood. (in reply to monicasharman @katdish The first thing I noticed was the C3PO near the bottom left.)

Ba-Ling!!!! http://twitpic.com/1bd39s

Okay! Who loves this book? Because I wanna know how many I’ll offend when I write a new version. http://twitpic.com/1bc391

How cool is Billy Gibbons? Answer? Very cool. http://twitpic.com/1bbxck

My daughter went for fancy. http://twitpic.com/1bbonk

Okay! Ready for flip flops! http://twitpic.com/1bbkmh

@WriteOnRideOn You know, @billycoffey loves Jesus more than he does the #Yankees, but it’s pretty close… (in reply to WriteOnRideOn @katdish Okay…THAT made me actually bust out LOL. Still Laughing. Out Loud.)

@WriteOnRideOn Okay…What if I tape it and watch it Monday? Is that okay? (in reply to WriteOnRideOn I realize few if any will publicly agree w/me about @MLB #scheduleFAIL Opening Day on EASTER Sunday. It’s what I believe. Strongly believe.)

@WriteOnRideOn Not that I’ll be watching (ahem), but who’s playing? ( in reply to WriteOnRideOn Speaking of getting fired up~WHAT the heck is up w/ @MLB choosing EASTER Sunday for opening day?!! #MAJORLEAGUEFAIL)

As always, sorry/you’re welcome!

A very blessed and Happy Easter to you all!

Meat Week on the Twitter (Apparently)


(Don’t you just love a good meat puppet?)

So, this week I had some fairly in-depth conversations about corned beef, pork chops, bacon and spam. Oh, and duck lust. Lots of talk of duck lust…

And now, the best of me (or not) on the twitter this week:

RT @okiewife: to my new follower from China–welcome to my mediocre life. I will try not to disappoint you.

In case any of you are interested, I’m having lunch with @BuddyLovetheDog

@noveldoctor I’m sorry….what? (in reply to noveldoctor Writing is almost as hard as listening.)

Cold Pizza: Not just for breakfast anymore

My son is receiving a Leadership award at school today. When I asked him what it was for, he said, “No clue”.

RT @Babybloomr: @JesusNeedsNewPR Wait– you’re giving away Amy Grant??!! That comes dangerously close to trafficking, little mister.

@marni71 You gotta admire an old woman so comfortable in her nekkidness.

Yes. Agreed RT @noveldoctor: Always be yourself. Unless you’re a pompous ass. In that case, be someone nicer.

RT @Goddess_Live:Power intoxicates men When a man is intoxicated by alcohol he can recover, but when intoxicated by power he seldom recovers

RT @maggiedammit: Tootsie Pop at 9:14am, THAT’S RIGHT SUCKERS.

RT @annalisa2: “Maybe ‘buzzkill’ was a bad choice of words… you’re like… the dark cloud that unites us.”

RT @CandySteele: Good Morning Twitter. It’s National Waffle Day – I will celebrate my inability to make a decision today.

@CandySteele I actually think it’s sort of delightful that she was so completely not self-conscious of her nekkidness.

@CandySteele Seriously…what else is one to do in such situations? (in reply to CandySteele @katdish I was so proud to have maintained a professional composure all the while thinking BLOG POST! BLOG POST!)

I’m too tired to rant, but seriously – – donโ€™t be such a loser…

@katdish Except that guy who followed me for the courtesy refollow & then unfollowed me. I know when someone unfollows me…

Okay, lovely people! (and the rest of you) Goodnight! (Oh, I’m KIDDING! You’re all lovely

@coffeewithmarty It’s okay. @helenatrandom is everyone’s favorite.

@Helenatrandom If I say yes, will I get some celebrity duck comments? (in reply to Helenatrandom @katdish I see that there were no celebrity duck comments today. Are you disappointed?)

@noveldoctor So many sweet memories include bacon, don’t they? (in reply to noveldoctor @katdish Best bacon ever was at local B&B. Slightly sweet, crispy. Perfect. Went there just for bkfst with editorial team. Ah, memories…)

@noveldoctor “regional bacons” How fancy! (in reply to noveldoctor @katdish I think there really is one. Includes regional bacons and unusual flavors. No defibrillator, though. Sadly.)

@noveldoctor Yes. Always handy to keep one of those around. You never know… (in reply to noveldoctor @katdish Yes, a ham sandwich with bacon and cheese. Deep fried. Served with a side of bacon. And a defibrillator.)

@noveldoctor Also a ham sandwich. (in reply to noveldoctor You know what goes well with bacon? More bacon.)

Doing my part to promote @prodigaljohn’s book http://twitpic.com/1awh11

Well…off to the bookstore to replace the 2 books my daughter spilled her water bottle all over. Oh yeah…she’s paying for them

@coffeewithmarty You weren’t following @Helenatrandom? That’s grounds for a public unfollow.

@weightwhat That’s what I’m saying (in reply to weightwhat @katdish Yes, you must be very careful when you warp the unwarped.)

Whenever I get a new follower who is following 10 people or less, I feel a great sense of responsibility towards them to guide them.

@buzzbyannies You mean where they keep the hookers? (in reply to buzzbyannies @katdish Yep – won’t be home til Saturday night. Trying to recover from DC yesterdary. Saw a lot of the capitol most people don’t see.)

@melissa_rae Yes, you did make me do something. Is is empowering?

@buzzbyannies Hey! Are you still on vacation?

Why, yes…As a matter of fact, I DID just quote myself.

Strip away all the things people think define U, & U are ultimately left w/what U know 2 be the truth http://bit.ly/8ZbZO3

Can you ever REALLY have too much magnesium? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=akZZd7Hz0rE

RT @pprmint777: @katdish Who knew Duck Sex was such a hot topic? Spring is a Declaration by @pprmint777 http://bit.ly/d3JZGP

@Helenatrandom Apparently so. (in reply to Helenatrandom @katdish Yeah… I was wondering how you got so lucky, too! You must have some solid Hollywood connections…)

@Helenatrandom Yes. I appreciate that. Rather curious about the celebrity duck comments though… (in reply to Helenatrandom @katdish You can be proud of me. I left a comment for your blog this evening, and I avoided commenting on the duck lust.)

@CandySteele Very coffey-esque? Yes? (in reply to CandySteele @katdish Have to give you that one. Mea culpa.)

@VariantVal Good to know. (in reply to VariantVal Hi everybody, I’m not dead)

@CandySteele Whose idea do you think it was for the @billycoffey porch pic? I know what I’m doing. (in reply to CandySteele @coffeewithmarty Yeah, @katdish is like a rock scientist or something)

@Helenatrandom But would you eat a grilled cheese sandwich from a Jesus Frying pan? (in reply to Helenatrandom @katdish GAAAAAAAA!)

RT @InkPanther: Saw this at the candy shoppe: http://twitpic.com/1apfg5

ARE YOU SERIOUS??? RT @coffeewithmarty: @sarahmsalter @weightwhat WHAT does TWSS mean

@BunBunRabbit Pirate Bunny? (in reply to BunBunRabbit @katdish You forgot the bunny ears. Please don’t forget the bunny ears)

@coffeewithmarty Wait! I added some final touches! http://tweetphoto.com/15649909

@coffeewithmarty That’s a winner! (in reply to coffeewithmarty Well??? What do you think of the latest avatar?)

@sarahmsalter And you can’t ignore me. I’m too adorably annoying. (in reply to sarahmsalter @coffeewithmarty Yeah. Ignore @katdish. She snorts at everybody.)

@coffeewithmarty Well…now that you mention it…Snort! (in reply to coffeewithmarty @katdish Okay. This is my wordpress one. It’s the avatar that someone said, “Looks like you ate a bunch of chinese food that made you tired”)

@coffeewithmarty What about your wordpress avatar? I like that one.

@SBeeCreations You are a wealth of information. (in reply to SBeeCreations @katdish Exactly. Salt grains (back when salt was used to pay salaries (sal=salt)) were called corns. Hence, corned beef ๐Ÿ™‚

@coffeewithmarty How many times are you going to change your avatar today?

@SBeeCreations Ah! At last! The intelligencia has spoken! Thank you. So the meat gets a salt bath? (in reply to SBeeCreations @katdish it’s the brining process with the spices)

@marni71 It’s a shame @HelenatRandom isn’t here to google it for me. (in reply to marni71 @katdish Peyton’s theory is the “beef” ate, before being prepackaged and sold to Kroger, only corn. She gets her intelligence from me.)

RT @billycoffey: Student to me: “If I put 2 stamps on this, will it get there faster?” Me to student: “How’d you get into college?”

@marni71 Actually, it was a leftover porkchop Ron cooked. But I did make a corned beef roast yesterday, & I still don’t know why it’s corned (in reply to marni71 Wow! Did ya’ll read that? @BuddyLovethedog choked on a pork chop! That means @katdish was…COOKING! Oh, the humanity.)

@sarahmsalter Oh, he’s fine stupid dog. I dropped a pork chop on the floor & he tried to swallow it whole. (in reply to sarahmsalter @katdish I remember now. With my fried hard drive this week, my brain is a little scrambled. Is Buddy Love okay now?)

Just had to perform the Heimlich maneuver on @BuddyLovetheDog, then I had to google the correct spelling of “Heimlich”

@marni71 @sarahmsalter In my defense of yesterday’s email, I was just trying to include you all in my life.

@marni71 Ah yes…I love a good serious email. It’s always fun to see who will turn it south first. (in reply to marni71 @katdish That same crap shoot goes for our serious emails too, so I know you’re immune to the turn the blog comments can suddenly take.)

@amysorrells Dear Lord, Help Amy be bendy (in reply to amysorrells Dear Lord, please bend my time. Or bend me into a better person. And help me know when I’ve achieved either one for You. Amen.)

RT @br8kthru: @marni71 @katdish it really was a beautiful post, but how do u ignore duck sex though? (This is an age-old question, for sure)

Inquiring minds wanna know…

Question: What makes “corned beef” corned?

@marni71 No problem. Anyone who writes for my blog should know that the comments section is a crap shoot at best. (in reply to marni71 @br8kthru Oh, are we fake apologizing? Sorry for my comment @katdish.)

I love it when my comments section takes on a life of its own: Spring is a Declaration by @pprmint777 http://bit.ly/d3JZGP

@sarahmsalter @redclaydiaries Yes. I’ll help. But only if she lets me use a leaf blower and a blow torch. I like my power tools (in reply to sarahmsalter @redclaydiaries I’m sure @katdish would come help you declutter. She’s anti-crap, you know.)

@coffeewithmarty (laughs maniacally) (in reply to coffeewithmarty WHEW! (wipes brow nervously) “@coffeewithmarty You’ve escaped my wrath….for now.” /via @katdish)
@coffeewithmarty You’ve escaped my wrath….for now. (in reply to coffeewithmarty @katdish Yes, due to my uncoordinated thumbs on my tiny screen on my phone)

@coffeewithmarty YOU REPORTED ME AS SPAM???? (in reply to coffeewithmarty @katdish cuz i was trying to DM you and I accidently reported u as spam. I unblocked you, contacted twitter, and refollowed you.)

@coffeewithmarty Why I got a follow email notification from you. Thought you were following me. (in reply to coffeewithmarty what are we talking about? “@coffeewithmarty Yeah…what’s up with that?” /via @katdish)

@coffeewithmarty Oh, let’s not… (in reply to coffeewithmarty @katdish Here’s the deal. I’m going to be trying a variety of different ones today. We could go with a risque one.)

@weightwhat It’s really a shame Sherri’s not on the twitter anymore. in reply to weightwhat RT @katdish I want to thank my friend Sherri for sending me this breaking headline: http://tweetphoto.com/15612507 // BWAHAHAHAHA!!!

@Helenatrandom Yeppers. I think @billycoffey hopped over to my blog thinking, “Who does she think she is?” Guess he knows now… (in reply to Helenatrandom @katdish I remember that comment! I just didn’t realize it was your first…)

Here’s the comment to @billycoffey Your grandmother was a very wise woman, indeed. And you dropped the “f” bomb on her? Jerk!

This day in history: One year ago today, I left my first of many snarky comments on @billycoffey’s blog.

Also? TWSS.

I want to thank my friend Sherri for sending me this breaking headline: http://tweetphoto.com/15612507

RT @badbanana: My oldest daughter is now a teenager. I’ve prepared for this day by preemptively hating myself for the last 40 years.

@ffjewelry Sorry, I must have been channeling Johnny Cockran.

@ffjewelry When in doubt, carry out. (in reply to ffjewelry Cook dinner or get take out? I can’t decide.)

@mabeswife He’s like the drunk uncle you only see at Thanksgiving, except you see him all the time…

@Leeleeqba yep. He told President Obama that the health care bill being signed was a big f-ing deal.

Joe Biden just dropped the F-bomb on national TV. He’s so classy…

@br8kthru TWSS (in reply to br8kthru @Brian_Russell Reminds me, the other day I typed “meat” for “meet” -which also reminds me, I’d like to plan an event called a “meat-&-greet”)

@sarahmsalter Oh, tell me you’ve never done that! (in reply to sarahmsalter @katdish Gracious! There’s a visual I wish I could purge from my mind…)

One nice thing about having the house to yourself is no one can see you walking around w/a tissue sticking out of your nose.

Sorry/you’re welcome!

Laying down the Unfollow hammer


image courtesy of photobucket.com

Forget all those “social media experts” you’ve been following who promise to share their wisdom with you. I’m here to tell you the secret to getting more followers. Are you ready? Here goes: Unfollow people who aren’t following you, and then tell them why. I did that on Friday, and got like a gazillion new followers! Now, I’m not suggesting you tweet them individually and call them out. That’s a bit too snarky even for yours truly. But a blog post works pretty well, apparently. And in other news, @HelenatRandom and I talked about men’s panties…

And now, here’s the best of me (or not) on the twitter this week
(And yes, they’re still in backwards order, and yes, I’m still lazy)

@billycoffey Oh, shut up. (in reply to billycoffey @katdish Want some cheese with that whine?)

I’m not complaining, but how come every time I get a bunch of new followers, @billycoffey gets a bunch of new followers

I crack myself up

@coffeewithmarty You really are missing out. We just solved the economic crisis in 140 characters. Must suck being you. (in reply to coffeewithmarty I feel like there are so many awesome things happening on twitter, and I’m missing them all. #feelingsorryformyself)

Holy Cow! My friend @MattTCoNP made the Top 100! That’s AWESOME, MATT!!!! http://bit.ly/min5R

@Helenatrandom What about mannie-undie-panties? (in reply to Helenatrandom @katdish Yeah. Somehow men get insulted when you call their undies panties… Men are so weird…)

@Debberzz Given enough time, annoying people will mess anything up. (in reply to Debberzz @katdish Some of these rascals give social media a bad name. And I guess they really think we’ll fall for it. Not cool.)

@Helenatrandom man panties. Snort! (in reply to Helenatrandom @katdish Wha? At least I caught myself before typing “panties”. (Hubby Bob hates it when I refer universally to all undies as “panties”)

@billycoffey Of course it was snark. Just another service I provide. You’re welcome. (in reply to billycoffey @katdish Yes, exactly. Wait, was that snark?)

RT @PeterPollock: My son missed school the day he was due to receive his perfect attendance reward. I laughed!

@Debberzz I had someone follow & unfollow 3 times in 3 days. Tweetdeck should have an “I’m just not that in to you” feature. (in reply to Debberzz I don’t like having to block, but that one followed me, then unfollowed me and was sending multiple spam DMs.)

@Helenatrandom Yes, Helen. And I’m sure that’s what @billycoffey calls them – “undies”. (in reply to Helenatrandom @billycoffey Hey Billy! Your post about your undies left me speechless!)
@Doallas Which is to say, not very far up there at all.

@Doallas Geography is right up there with math as one of my fave subjects.

I don’t even want to think about what they’re not teaching her in school

Daughter: Santa is in Alaska right now. Me: Why Alaska? Daughter: Because that’s where the North Pole is

Yesh! RT @WriteOnRideOn: @katdish Welcome!! I really like your blog. I sense in you the same kindred sick sense of humor. :o)

Dear @billycoffey: When you write a post about Sponge Bob boxer shorts, spam comments for ED & viagra increase ten-fold Sincerely, Me

@CassandraFrear I have a long history of talking back. It did not bode well for me as a youngster. (in reply to CassandraFrear #FollowFriday @katdish. Hilarious. For advice on all sorts of things. She’ll talk back to you, too.)

@Brian_Russell Not guts, no glory Brian. (in reply to Brian_Russell @katdish haha. Thanks. I was going to do @prodigaljohn but… got cold feet. (He’s famous and stuff)

@Brian_Russell I’ll give to 2 snaps up for being a shameless self promoter.

RT@Brian_Russell: Editing RT’s is a pasttime of mine. // RT @katdish I fully endorse The Underfold and laugh at all it’s jokes.

@muchl8r It’s always fun to be pretentious (in reply to muchl8r Sometimes, It’s fun to be pretentious #JustSayin)

@billycoffey I’m wearing striped capri pj pants & my “Procrastinators Unite – tomorrow” t-shirt. No Sponge Bob. (in reply to billycoffey @katdish You’re wearing Spongebob pajamas right now, aren’t you? Don’t lie to me!)

@billycoffey Wouldn’t you like to know… (in reply to billycoffey @katdish Hey, you have two kids. I guarantee you’ve worn something of Spongebob.)

@billycoffey Good morning. My image of you is shattered.

This is me. Slowly shaking my head in disapproval as I tweet @billycoffey’s blog post about SpongeBob boxer shorts: http://bit.ly/9PuOpH

Dear Person I just unfollowed on Twitter: It’s not you, it’s me. http://bit.ly/cW4KRY

@coffeewithmarty Mwha! ha! ha! (in reply to coffeewithmarty @katdish Wow. You are good! I’m feeling guilty. I have so much to learn about #twitter etiquette)

@coffeewithmarty No one can make you feel guilty without your permission. (in reply to coffeewithmarty @katdish I’m feeling completely overwhelmed by the 107 pages of followers I need to sort through? Will you make me feel guilty if I quit?)

@coffeewithmarty Well that’s an exceptionally lazy way to refollow. (in reply to coffeewithmarty Here’s the deal. If you are following me, and I’m not following you in return, reply and tell me “Hi” and I’ll follow you. Cheers!)

RT @CrazyGidgetDog: Been days since I’ve had a good butt drag on the carpet. Time to seize the moment! Carpe carpetum

@redclaydiaries Yes please. (in reply to redclaydiaries @katdish I’ll try to be more codependent.)

@redclaydiaries You must anticipate my ignorance. (in reply to redclaydiaries @katdish I would have told u earlier if u’d asked me…)

@gyoung9751 Oh, one of us got lazy. (in reply to gyoung9751 @katdish What happened to @BuddyLoveTheDog?)

@br8kthru @redclaydiaries I did it the old fashioned way. I figure if I unfollow someone, it should be personal

@br8kthru Oh, I’m not having a bad day. I’m just a little shocked at how many ppl I follow that don’t follow back. They’re gone now.

@Serverman5 Perhaps only New Mexicans put ketchup on their Allsups burritos. (in reply to Serverman5 @katdish ok, if you are gonna honor TX ou can’t put ketchup on it.)

@br8kthru Uh, huh… (in reply to br8kthru @katdish I ended it w/ a smiley face because I don’t believe that in the least.)

@br8kthru You know, just because you end your tweets w/a smiley face it doesn’t mean they don’t hurt… (in reply to br8kthru @katdish It’s okay- you needed to be taken down a notch. ๐Ÿ™‚

I gotta say, it’s a bit of an ego check moment when you discover you follow someone’s pet & they don’t follow you back.

In honor of Eastern New Mexico & West Texas, I am eating a greasy burrito w/ketchup.

Okay. Almost done cleaning up my account. Next I have to see who is following me that I’m not following. If real people, I’ll refollow

So, I’m laying down the unfollow hammer this afternoon. Question – why do some of you people have more than one account?

“The errors of women spring, almost always, from their faith in the good, or their confidence in the true.” ~ Balzac

@janetober I like to say, Remember you are special. Just like everyone else.

So what did y’all do today? http://twitpic.com/198o1a

RT @jewda4: what if the only green you wore today was jealous rage? does that count? happy st patty’s day.

@redclaydiaries Yes. But it will take forever to get there by horse. (in reply to redclaydiaries I’m being followed by the @canadianpolice. So should I be worried, eh? (Can they extradite from Georgia?)

@shrinkingcamel Thanks. I’ll read it later. (in reply to shrinkingcamel Procrastinators, you will love this: “How to make procratination productive,” from Fast Company mag. http://bit.ly/aRsTw6)

@Doallas They could be explained in 14,000 characters. Still don’t think I’d understand. (in reply to Doallas @katdish They do involve math, the reason I won’t try explaining them in 140 or fewer characters.)

@Doallas Yes, they are cool. But they seem to involve math, so I am immediately suspect. (in reply to Doallas @katdish Now don’t go asking me technical questions like that. I just know they’re cool.)

Thus concludes my one and only St. Patrick’s Day joke

Patio Furniture.

What’s Irish and stays out all night?

Happy St. Patrick’s Day Everyone!

Time for praise team practice! Let the music & obscure 80’s reference commence!

RT @foldinglaundry: My 6 year old son just asked if he could change his name to Mort. I can’t wait to start drinking again

@billycoffey Yes. And @peterpollock does a great job putting up with both of us. (in reply to billycoffey @katdish My website says Katdish Told Peter To Do This. Better?)

Ahem! RT @billycoffey: @PeterPollock My website says Peter Did This.

And embarrassing my kids at the same time. Win-win! http://twitpic.com/18dsnk

A banner day for car dancing… http://twitpic.com/18dse1
>

I’ve also been advised by my daughter to avoid the Asian noodle salad because “it tastes like vomit”.

At souper salad with my kids. Where my son manages to avoid anything green or leafy http://twitpic.com/18dk6p

@redclaydiaries I watched Zombieland yesterday. I’m channeling my inner Tallahassee. (in reply to redclaydiaries @katdish OH. You ARE a professional. I am in awe.)

@redclaydiaries I used my secret weapon. The “excuse me, do I need to take a number or something?” along w/just a touch a snark. (in reply to redclaydiaries @katdish Yeah good luck with that. I suggest strolling out of store with sample glasses. Or better yet, super pricey sunglasses.)

@redclaydiaries Har, har. Time for son to pick out glasses, 2 min. Time to get waited on? Still waiting. (in reply to redclaydiaries @katdish Sounds like u were looking at eyeglass shopping thru rose-colored glasses. (snort. I crack myself up.)

In retrospect, perhaps coming to Eyemasters on a Saturday may not have been such a great idea

Okay. My son needs glasses, & my daughter needs new pencils & erasers. Because apparently, she eats them for snacks at school. Errand time.

@chrissulli @gyoung9751 My son has since discovered “microwaved cheese stick and bagel sandwiches”. Yeah…they’re all gone.

@gyoung9751 @chrissulli I bought 2 packages of bagels & a bag of cheese sticks 2 days ago….

My 12 YO son just asked me if we could order something for lunch. He just ate breakfast. Also? It’s 8:30 in the morning.

***

Sorry/you’re welcome and Have a Great Weekend!

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