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Dear Person I just Unfollowed on Twitter:


It’s not you, it’s me.

Okay, that’s not true. It’s totally you. For most of you, it was a simple matter of you not following me back. Now, that’s not to say I follow people simply to be followed back. I actually followed you because either someone in my “friends” column recommended you or someone I follow retweeted something amusing or interesting from you. Or maybe I know of you through your blog or something.

Or maybe you’re in publishing or you’re an agent or a well known author and I thought it would be a good idea to follow you to keep up with the latest goings on in the literary world. But then I figured, I follow plenty of publishers, agents, and well known authors who follow me back. And it’s pretty rare I read something in 140 characters or less that I would put into the category of “life changing”.

I followed a few of you celebrities for a bit. But then I remembered I don’t care what you ate for lunch, where you ate your lunch, who you ate your lunch with, that your new album is selling really well, or that OMG you’re LMAO.

And then there are the “social media experts” who I followed a long time ago before I knew any better. Ah, well. Live and learn.

Here’s the thing about me and the twitter – I actually like having conversations with people. If you’re not following me, how am I supposed to talk to you or give you unsolicited advice about things that are absolutely none of my business?

I’m sure you see my point.

Love,

@katdish

P.S. – Now that I’ve cleaned out my following list, I need some new folks to follow. Gimme some good suggestions, will you please?

Oscars? Dog on the Twitter? Zombieland? Check!

I think this week was an all-time record for the least number of tweets for me. But I still managed to get my dog his own twitter account, tweet with the Oscars and share a couple of twitpics. I know…I’m a giver.

The best of me (or not) on the twitter this week:

@billycoffey you were correct. Double tap is rule #2. I stand corrected.)

Writing about reading page proofs & why I’m reading them backwards. #amwriting

@br8kthru Zombieland isn’t intense. It’s just good old fashioned zombie killing.(in reply to br8kthru @katdish If it’s “intense” at all, I have to watch it by myself (and she can’t know that it’s on either) :))

@billycoffey Actually, doubletap is rule #4 – (in reply to billycoffey @katdish That was rule number two, wasn’t it?)

@br8kthru Zombieland. Nuff said. (in reply to br8kthru @katdish that sounds nice- was the movie any good?)

@billycoffey Now be nice before I give you the double tap you.

@billycoffey That movie was a masterpiece. (in reply to billycoffey @katdish Yes, boss. I know you have a lot to do, what with all the zombie movies.)

@billycoffey Dude – you gotta stop making your tweets so long. I had to edit b4 I RTed. I don’t have that kind of time.

After watching it on PPV, I’m really disappointed “Zombieland” did not win for best picture. That movie had everything.

@Doallas World peace? (in reply to Doallas @katdish Thank you for asking. Well! The sun’s shining; the snow’s gone; and it’s getting warm. What more could we want?)

Watching American Idol for the first time this year. Um….hmmm…

Who have you been talking to @buddylovethedog?

A law firm is now following my dog on twitter. Did I miss something?

@br8kthru Yes. But they’re a bee-otch to put into the night deposit box. (in reply to br8kthru @katdish Sure! Checks are one thing, but giant CHECKS are even better. That’s why they write the giant ones 2 charities & lottery winners 🙂

@br8kthru I’m good. Got to make a giant “CHECK” on my to do list, which is always a good feeling.

@buzzbyannies Yes. Rabid squirrels are most amusing. Especially from the other side of the window.

@buzzbyannies Well, let him in, silly! (in reply to buzzbyannies http://twitpic.com/17zkb6 – This squirrel keeps throwing himself against my office window.)

@mxings There is no fire ant heaven. Only hell. (in reply to mxings @katdish meanwhile in ant heaven…)

Imitation is the highest form of flattery. But it’s still annoying sometimes…

@gyoung9751 Have you cursed your son? Did you say, “I hope you have kids just like you?” Because that one ALWAYS works. (in reply to gyoung9751 @katdish Thanks. If our Cameron is anything like his father, we’re all in trouble. I’ll practice yelling his name.)

Die evil ants! Die! http://twitpic.com/17zbe9

@DanekS So let it be written. So let it be done…Mwha ha ha! (in reply to DanekS @katdish Smite them. Smite them all. : o )

The bible says, Love what is good, hate what is evil. Which is why I’m fixin’ to go hate on some evil fire ants.

@Helenatrandom Yes. “Holla” is a classy way to say “Holler”. Cuz as you know, I’m all up in classy. (in reply to Helenatrandom @katdish When I read the tweet she responded to, I thought you spelled “Hola” wrong… You meant “Holler” huh?)

Separated at birth? @pwilson of Nash Vegas and @RealKidPoker (aka Daniel Negreanu) of Las Vegas. Interesting…

RT @BuddyLovetheDog: Well, this has been an exahuasting day of sleeping and barking at the wind. Time for a nap.

@sarahmsalter I know. Buddy Love said thank you. Not really – he could care less – but I appreciate it for him. (in reply to sarahmsalter @katdish I am! I am!)
So, are y’all following my dog yet? Priorities, people! @BuddyLovetheDog

@BuddyLovetheDog What the???? I step away for 5 MINUTES AND YOU’RE ON THE TWITTER?

Follow Monday – @buddylovethedog

@WinLiannefield Perhaps you’re channeling @weightwhat (in reply to WinLiannefield @katdish Glad I could be your first. And second–TWSS. What is WRONG with me tonight?)

Okay, DANG IT! Stupid Directv. Looking away from the twitter b/c they haven’t announced yet.

@WinLiannefield Yeah – What is UP with that? Sean Penn is still slurring his words on my tv. (in reply to WinLiannefield Yay for Sandra Bullock! Boo for my Directv being behind Twitter on the broadcast!)

Why is George Clooney so cranky?

Ferris Bueller. Best. Movie. EVER.

I don’t care if I HAVEN’T seen any other movies, I still think Up should win. That movie rocks

Okay, RDjr. is giving off a Truman Capote vibe.

The mom in me is screaming MILEY! Get a sweater on girl!

RT @chasebook: The Blindside was Tim McGraw’s best work since Flicka.

@noveldoctor Not yet, but it certainly wouldn’t hurt. (in reply to noveldoctor Can’t see Oscars from here – Is Steve Martin playing the banjo yet?)

@NargesNirumvala And feathers! Gotta love the feathers! (in reply to NargesNirumvala @katdish Beautiful opening. Very 20s musical inspired. #Oscars)

Oooo! Shiny!!!!

Oooo! Shark Boy! #ocscars

RT @Babybloomr: OK, weigh in: SJP– exotically beautiful or horse-faced? Discuss. #oscars (Snort!)

I think “Up” should win, but mostly because that’s the only one I’ve seen #oscars

RT @noveldoctor: If Hannibal Lecter shows up on the red carpet, it’s probably unwise to ask, “Who are you wearing

Man! I thought Jeff Bridges was Kenny Rogers for a second. But he hasn’t has his eyes done #redcarpet

My last 2 tweets should have ended with #Oscars. Scuse me

And Jennifer Lopez’s dress has a sidecar.

That dude’s hair matches his suit. And I don’t like either.

What he said >RT @TwainToday: sorry if you are dissapointed but I don’t send auto-DMs to my new followers. I also HATE getting them

@redclaydiaries All of mine of course! (in reply to redclaydiaries Catching up on blogs from past 2 weeks. What posts will I regret missing?)
@sarahmsalter No piece of cake

@sarahmsalter No cake. No peace. (in reply to sarahmsalter @katdish Okay, so the cake fell through. Dad thought the line was too long at the store, so he decided we wouldn’t have cake. MEN!

@sarahmsalter Is it chocolate? Because I have some frequent flyer miles. (in reply to sarahmsalter @katdish Well, come on this way & I’ll save you a piece. 🙂

@Helenatrandom That would be a Sponge Bob reference…

@Helenatrandom I love the trains in Chicago. Mostly because the voice over the PA at the station sounds like Plankton’s computer wife Karen (in reply to Helenatrandom @CandySteele Any guesstimate as to how long? Do I have time to hop a train?)

@redclaydiaries Mishugas! Or something like that… (in reply to redclaydiaries Have you seen my pic of the Western Wall that made @katdish think of Hasidic cage fighters? http://bit.ly/aJP2LP)

@redclaydiaries Ooooo! I love it when Bob writes for you. (in reply to redclaydiaries @katdish Mmmm, vulture. Perhaps BOB would like to write that post.)

@redclaydiaries And DANG! It smells like vulture.

@redclaydiaries I smell a guest post! (in reply to redclaydiaries I have an injured vulture in my garage. Yes, I AM a redneck. Why do you ask? Seriously, what does one DO with an injured vulture?)

“Each prayer cross comes w/a certificate of authenticity” Which is good, if you used a fake prayer cross, you might go to hell

You’d Think it was I can’t believe it’s not Butter! http://twitpic.com/1702tt

This little piggy went to market. Well, parts of him did, anyway. http://twitpic.com/16zvuy

Happy Weekend! And as always, Sorry/you’re welcome!

There is no such thing as pink hate (and other tweets that don’t make much sense)

Last Saturday was a lovely day, so my daughter and I went to the local park. Thank goodness I had my iPhone so I could get some much needed clarification about some vauge signage from my twitter friends. In other news, I had my eyes dilated and could not see my computer screen, but where there is a will there is a way — despite @billycoffey’s black hate. And for some reason, @br8kthru was all up in my grill this week…

And…here you go: The best of me (or not) on the twitter this week:

@curtharding Sometimes I think Amy Winehouse looks at Lady Gaga and says, “Wow. That chick is whack.”

@KellyKarius Off the top of my head? Never let your 8 yo play “hide the tangerines in the closet” w/her friends. I found 4 a month later… (in reply to KellyKarius @desireescales @JAS13 @katdish @shelbilavender @marcome I am seeking bits of parents/g-parents wisdom today just for fun. Got any? Pls RT)

“Notice there is no such thing as pink hate…” ~ @helenatrandom (Snort!)

@Serverman5 Yes. Tell what’s wrong w/you in 140 characters or less. (in reply to Serverman5 @katdish in a nutshell? Or do you want the whole story ? 😉

@coffeewithmarty He puts his pants on 1 leg at a time just like everyone else. Only difference is once he has his pants on, he’s Mitch Albom (in reply to coffeewithmarty @katdish yes, read it, and even got Mitch Albom to personally ask a question i had about it. I was amazed he would reply to little me.)

@BridgetChumbley I think it’s the getcherfreakon mojo. (in reply to BridgetChumbley @katdish Guess when you’re good… or ya getcherfreakon so well… it happens!)

@coffeewithmarty Ooo! Have you read Have a Little Faith? Albom’s newest? It’s great.

@BridgetChumbley They must secretly correct my bad grammer and sentence structure.

@BridgetChumbley Yeah…why is that? (in reply to BridgetChumbley @katdish You seem to draw writers to you like moths to a flame… I’m sure that would be a big hit!)

@sarahmsalter Girl, I’ve read more books than you’ve had hot meals

What is wrong with you people?

@sarahmsalter You either? (in reply to sarahmsalter @coffeewithmarty Me neither. 🙂

@coffeewithmarty What in the world do you read?

@coffeewithmarty YOU’VE NEVER READ A BOOK BY STEPHEN KING????? (in reply to coffeewithmarty @BridgetChumbley @sarahmsalter I have never read a Stephen king book. I know. Shocking)

@PeterPollock whew! I’m glad you said it! That was KILLING me! (in reply to PeterPollock I just sent @katdish a one line email and the moment I clicked ‘send’ I realized the only possible response was “TWSS”. Sorry Kat.)

@HeatheroftheEO Snort! (in reply to HeatheroftheEO I’m weepy over an episode of The Dog Whisperer. It’s possible I have a celebrity crush on Cesar Milan. I love how he says relawshunship.

RT @rachaelmphillip: No more Olympics . . . such a shame. I love to watch other people exercise.

@CandySteele Thank you in advance for my corn nightmares. (in reply to CandySteele @katdish The better to smile with, my dear.)

Man! I’ve got so much to do today. Hurry! Distract me!

@CandySteele And the TEETH! (in reply to CandySteele @katdish I KNOW! Can you imagine thinking you’re snuggling with Teddy and wake up staring at corn cobs with EYES??)

@CandySteele Gaaa! That corn would give me nightmares! (in reply to CandySteele Pigs & corn. #thingsyoufindinaniowaairport http://twitpic.com/16e15m)

RT @TonyCToday: @katdish Really? I usually enjoy those right out of the bag…

@br8kthru Oh, hang on… (in reply to br8kthru @katdish But what did he say? The same thing?)

@br8kthru I know. I ewhed him too. (in reply to br8kthru @katdish Oh okay. I guess that ‘ewh’ was warranted, but what did @tonyctoday say?)

@br8kthru The bag of raw fish parts. (in reply to br8kthru @katdish what was the ‘ewh’ from earlier about? You have to be more specific.)

@RobinMArnold The monkey butt? Gotta be on a first name basis for the monkey butt. (in reply to RobinMArnold @katdish When do you pull out the big red you know what? Like, how much do you have to love someone to use that?)

@RobinMArnold As per usual… (in reply to RobinMArnold @katdish I see all y’all are showing lady like restraint in your wishes for Mr. Bon Jovi.)

Dear @BonJovi My friend @marni71 has a tiny little crush on you: http://bit.ly/9MPXpG

RT @Helenatrandom: @katdish He is @BonJovi

RT @BigBags: Ignorance is bliss… especially when it’s stubborn ignorance

Is Jon Bon Jovi on the twitter? Anyone?

Hey! I can see again! What did I miss?

@br8kthru @TonyCToday Um…ewh.

Instructions say, “Further cooking required”. Ya think? Um, yes. http://twitpic.com/1690df

@gyoung9751 my life is a potential blog post, Glynn. (in reply to gyoung9751 RT @katdish: Walking thru SAMs club singing “how deep is your love” by the BeeGees. Curse you, muzak! /Sounds like a blog post to me)

Mmmm! Just like mom used to make! http://twitpic.com/168tr9

Sigh…My eyes are getting worse, not better. Guess I’ll go rest them for awhile.

@TonyCToday That’s too bad, Tony. You don’t win the pope soap on a rope then. ( in reply to TonyCToday @katdish Hey Kathy! I couldn’t find any Popes in you pizza picture…http://bit.ly/dxb8dl)

@marni71 Hi Marns! Happy Jon Bon Jovi!

RT @billycoffey: @katdish And I do not have a black “hate.” I am a very friendly soul. //classic

@br8kthru Yes, Jason! I see a blue sweater vest. All is right with the world. (in reply to br8kthru @katdish do you see a sweater vest?)

How long do your eyes stay dialated after the dops?

Now that’s dedication to the twitter…

Well, that’s not true. I see a pink hat (Helen), A black hate (Billy) Strawberry blond head (heather) & a baseball (Marty)

Would somebody tweet my post? I can’t see ANYTHING!

At the eye doc. Eyes dialated. Can’t see very well. Hope I typed that right

9:15 AM I have showered, dressed, voted and gone to the grocery store. I KNOW, right?

@Nick_theGeek Thanks for the offer. But Peter is my go-to geek. (in reply to Nick_theGeek @katdish that’s part of the new service I’m offering. I set it all up for those super busy people)

@Nick_theGeek I’ve been meaning to for a long time, just too busy. (in reply to Nick_theGeek @katdish finally making the WP jump then? Seems like several ppl r rigt now.)

Gus: You have never read the bible have you Shawn? Shawn: Genesis, Exorcist, Leviathan, Dooo…the right thing.. #psyche

@mabeswife To each his own. Cadbury creme eggs are the McRib of candy for me. Every few years I have to try one ~ Yep! Still disgusting!

@mabeswife But WHY??? What is that crap in the center? Gaaa! (in reply to mabeswife @katdish I luurve them!)

@mabeswife Ewh! Those things are disgusting! (Cadbury crème eggs)

@Helenatrandom Yes. I’m a big fan of Horton hears a Who.

@br8kthru Bet he’s not doing laundry. Mostly because he’s dead. (in reply to br8kthru @katdish did you know tomorrow is Dr. Seuss’ birthday?)

Doing “research”. Reading “Oh, the places you’ll go” by Dr. Seuss. What kind of depressing childrens book is this?

@br8kthru No, I’m pretty sure she’s mad at you. Right @marni71 ? (in reply to br8kthru @katdish I don’t think she was talking about my post- she was talking about your tweet so you, my dear, were the 1 reminding… JSYK)

@br8kthru Now you’ve gone and made @marni71 grumpy on her birthday. Jerk!

@br8kthru Im just grumpy because I was reminded I have to do laundry.( in reply to br8kthru @katdish Wow, such encouragement from you! Did someone pee in your cornflakes again?)

@br8kthru No, Jason. It’s not. Give up. (in reply to br8kthru Trying to live life to the fullest from inside the walls of a cubicle. I refuse to believe it’s impossible. No, it can be done!)

@marni71 Aren’t we the trendsetters? (in reply to marni71 Did ya’ll see? @prodigaljohn did his own Twitter Ho Down on SCL. Now if we could just get him to participate in ours…)

Happy Birthday @marni71 ! http://bit.ly/aY007I

RT @badbanana: Somewhere, Gordie Howe’s ghost is smiling tonight. Which is really creepy since he’s still alive

Dear #closingceremonies : We get it…You’re Canadian. We love you, but we get it…

At Mission Burrito. Apparently, we did not beat the baptists here. http://twitpic.com/15w241

@CandySteele No. In the band hall. Which smells like teen spirit. (in reply to CandySteele @katdish So you’re having church in the trailer then? Epic.)

So apparently the school where we meet is double booked. Which is weird since we have Sunday mornings reserved. http://twitpic.com/15uwfg

@pwilson Just be thankful you’re not at the “you’ll go blind” phase. (in reply to pwilson Just heard @brandiandboys tell @jettwilson1 not to cross his eyes or they would get stuck. Seriously? Are we passing that myth on?)

RT @JeffHolton: RT @whisper1111: seismology assn apologizes for typo as salami washes ashore in hawaii (via @PirateWench)

@katbrak http://twitpic.com/15q60e in reply to katbrak

@CandySteele Too late. He hid behind a truck. (in reply to CandySteele @katdish Get closer! See if he smells like beef jerky & cologne from a truck-shaped bottle!)

A possible @billycoffey sighting in Texas! http://twitpic.com/15q1v9

@NargesNirumvala if that’s the case, they are in clear violation! (in reply to NargesNirumvala @katdish I think it means no ducks! Hopefully the ducks can read English!! LOL)

I need clarification. Does this mean no ducks or not to feed them? http://twitpic.com/15pv8w

My brother & family (including dogs) are at a school on higher ground & off the beaches of North Shore. Only expecting about 6′ water

@CassandraFrear My husband says, “Your tweets don’t make any sense.” I say, “I know. Awesome, huh?” (in reply to CassandraFrear @katdish BTW, I love reading your tweets. Just in a stream. Hilarious.)

@Helenatrandom Thank you, Helen and @sarahmsalter

@sarahmsalter Thank you, Sarah. Much appreciated. (in reply to sarahmsalter @katdish I’ll be praying Mark 4:39 prayers for him… Jesus said, ‘Quiet! Be still!’ and the ocean and winds obeyed.)

@sarahmsalter So far, so good. Little worried about my big bro. He lives in Hawaii

@KevinMartineau Do a sermon on tithing. That should clear people outta there pretty quick! (in reply to KevinMartineau Uh oh! The gold medal game is at 12:15 pm on Sunday. Shortened sermon … Hmmmmm … Dilemma …)

Not all chemicals R bad. W/O chemicals like hydrogen & oxygen , there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer – D Barry

Being Unintentionally Hilarious


I crack myself up. If you read my profile, or know me at all, you already know that about me. But you may not know why I crack myself up. It’s mostly because I do really stupid stuff. Often. Take Tuesday for example.

I went to the optometrist for an eye exam. I was expecting the eye test, expecting to be asked repeatedly “Which is clearer?…One?…Or two?…One?…Or two?” (Does this stress anyone else out? It does me.) What I was not expecting was getting my eyes dilated. I had forgotten how blurry those drops make your vision. Driving home wasn’t too bad. Seeing distance wasn’t the problem. I started thinking maybe this wouldn’t be so bad after all. I get home, turn on my computer, open up my tweetdeck, and Voila! A total blur.

I manage to tweet the following:

10:28 AM – Would somebody tweet my post? I can’t see ANYTHING!

10:29 AM – Well, that’s not true. I see a pink hat (Helen), A black hate (Billy), Strawberry blond head (heather) & a baseball (Marty)

10:29 AM – Now that’s dedication to the twitter.

10:31 AM – How long do your eyes stay dilated after the dops?

To which @billycoffey responds: @katdish And I don’t have black “hate” I am a very friendly soul.

They say confession is good for the soul, so let me confess to you, dear reader, that at this point, I was using a magnifying glass to read the computer screen.

When I saw what Billy tweeted, and then went back and re-read what I had typed, and then thought about the fact that I just had my eyes dilated a half an hour earlier and was reading my computer screen with a magnifying glass,

I CRACKED MYSELF UP!

Because seriously, a reasonable, logical person would have said, “Gee, I can’t see anything. I should probably go lie down or something.”

See? I’m ridiculous.

But I like being ridiculous, and I love laughing at myself. Because if you can’t laugh at yourself, it’s really hard to laugh with others.

There is much to take seriously in this world, and some things are never funny.

But taking yourself too seriously? Why would you ever want to do that?

This my first “official” Life is Funny post for Wendy’s “Life is Funny” Carnival. So there you go…

Being Unintentionally Hilarious


I crack myself up. If you read my profile, or know me at all, you already know that about me. But you may not know why I crack myself up. It’s mostly because I do really stupid stuff. Often. Take Tuesday for example.

I went to the optometrist for an eye exam. I was expecting the eye test, expecting to be asked repeatedly “Which is clearer?…One?…Or two?…One?…Or two?” (Does this stress anyone else out? It does me.) What I was not expecting was getting my eyes dilated. I had forgotten how blurry those drops make your vision. Driving home wasn’t too bad. Seeing distance wasn’t the problem. I started thinking maybe this wouldn’t be so bad after all. I get home, turn on my computer, open up my tweetdeck, and Voila! A total blur.

I manage to tweet the following:

10:28 AM – Would somebody tweet my post? I can’t see ANYTHING!

10:29 AM – Well, that’s not true. I see a pink hat (Helen), A black hate (Billy), Strawberry blond head (heather) & a baseball (Marty)

10:29 AM – Now that’s dedication to the twitter.

10:31 AM – How long do your eyes stay dilated after the dops?

To which @billycoffey responds: @katdish And I don’t have black “hate” I am a very friendly soul.

They say confession is good for the soul, so let me confess to you, dear reader, that at this point, I was using a magnifying glass to read the computer screen.

When I saw what Billy tweeted, and then went back and re-read what I had typed, and then thought about the fact that I just had my eyes dilated a half an hour earlier and was reading my computer screen with a magnifying glass,

I CRACKED MYSELF UP!

Because seriously, a reasonable, logical person would have said, “Gee, I can’t see anything. I should probably go lie down or something.”

See? I’m ridiculous.

But I like being ridiculous, and I love laughing at myself. Because if you can’t laugh at yourself, it’s really hard to laugh with others.

There is much to take seriously in this world, and some things are never funny.

But taking yourself too seriously? Why would you ever want to do that?

This my first “official” Life is Funny post for Wendy’s “Life is Funny” Carnival. So there you go…

The First Rule of the Jake Club is Bacon Jesus, OSLT…


Every single week I think to myself, I wasn’t really on the twitter that much this week, wonder if I’ll have enough tweets to do a twitter update. Clearly, I’m delusional…I know you probably think I have a ridiculous number of tweets here, but what you see here represents about 25% of my tweets from the previous week. Which is lawesome (lame + awesome).

Here’s the best of me (or not) on the twitter this week:

@amysorrells Do not tweet in the shower! (in reply to amysorrells @MaryDeMuth Be glad. Be very glad. Showering now.)

AMEN! Those things are VILE! RT @CharlesEllison: Cadbury Creme Eggs = gross.

RT @noveldoctor: I wrote a brilliant novel. Then I woke up. Guess I’ll have to wait for my nap to check sales figures.

@br8kthru Yes. Your comment was quite….educational. (in reply to br8kthru @katdish I finally found my purpose in life- commenting on Katdish’s blog… It’s a red-letter day for sure. 🙂

Once again, the comments on my blog outshine the post. I heart my commenters!

Me Likey! RT @PeterPollock: Best (available) name for my new hosting site I’ve seen so far is katdishhosting.com. …. hmmm

@TwinkleChar It’s really a shame I don’t control the literary world; I enjoy a well placed semicolon.

@gyoung9751 So, Glynn – are you going to be my agent when I write my katdishionary?

@beckfromfrogandtoad Um…ewh.

RT @beckfromfrogandtoad: @katdish A Canadian delicacy. Hand-cut french fries. Covered in cheese curds. And gravy.

@beckfromfrogandtoad Please define “poutine” before my imagination takes over.

“I shop at a computer store called, “Your Crap is Already Obsolete” ~ Jeff Cesario

Early voting today in Texas. Should I vote for a Texas political insider or a Washington political insider for Gov? Decisions, decisions!

RT @badbanana: There’s really no need for a closing ceremony at the Olympics. Just turn the flame off. Everyone will get the idea.

And scantily dressed women give a whole new meaning to the term “Ho-down”.

In honor of the rodeo, it’s Go Texan Day in Houston! Where seemingly mild mannered business executives dress like Howdy Doody

RT @Babybloomr: Bad hair day. Woke up with my bangs inexplicably resembling Hitler’s moustache and I have no idea why.

@Brian_Russell Then don’t. #FF is not the boss of you. (in reply to Brian_Russell I don’t feel like participating in #FF like a sheep.)

@gyoung9751 I’m pretty sure @billycoffey is okay with not being a queen. (in reply to gyoung9751 @katdish But you will always be the queen.)

He said it would never happen. I insisted that it would. Now @billycoffey is about to pass me in followers. Follow him & prove me right!

Which reminds me, I wrote another Katdishionary post. Part 4 of infinity…

I could never write a new blog post again. Just mine my comments section for material.

RT @muchl8r: Said about me at work: “The first rule of Jake Club is, you do not talk about Jake Club” . . .flabbergasted but kinda flattered

@stretchmarkmama We’ve covered Bacon Jesus and a Jesus frying pan. A good day, me thinks.(in reply to stretchmarkmama @katdish Jesus Frying Pan? Man, I gotta join your religion. I have no idea what that is, but Jesus + Grease? How can that not be holy?)

@HeatheroftheEO Well I hope you have that on speed dial. (in reply to HeatheroftheEO 65412369+5278847871874/78848748742274 7752752748477444742774 7211427472727277 (tweet from Miles-age 4) (he says it’s our phone number)

@elysa Oh, well that makes sense! Thank you! (in reply to elysa @katdish google says “or something like that”)

@HeatheroftheEO You’re not helping… (in reply to HeatheroftheEO @katdish Oh Silly Little Timmy)

I need some clarification. What does the text abbrev. OSLT mean?

@amysorrells Well it is now. We make up our own hash tags. We’re rebels like that. (in reply to amysorrells @katdish “RagingADD” is a hashtag? I’m gonna follo . . . . SQUIRREL!!!!)

@SheilaWalsh SpongeBob brings so many people together! And OMGoogle! I just realized I’ve seen you at a conference before! (in reply to SheilaWalsh @katdish We had coffee when he was in Dallas:) We compared iPhone’s and both had SpongeBob Squarepants on them-beautiful man!!)

@amysorrells Just to tell you…that is going to STINK!!! (in reply to amysorrells Goin’ to a shark dissection parent meeting. Gonna dissect a shark with Youngest Son tomorrow. He’s watching Jaws: The Revenge as I type.)

@redclaydiaries Sweet Bacon Jesus dreams! (in reply to redclaydiaries Okay. OKAY. It is 12:30 Friday morning here. I MUST go to sleep. Have fun, US friends!)

@redclaydiaries What sort of place wouldn’t welcome Bacon Jesus? (in reply to redclaydiaries @katdish SNORT. I just got that. No, they do not eat bacon. Bacon Jesus would not be welcome here.)

@SheilaWalsh Okay, how did you get a picture with Bono on your profile #notatalljealous

@redclaydiaries Oh, wait….they don’t eat bacon huh?

@redclaydiaries That’s unfortunate, because who doesn’t like a little bacon in their cereal? (in reply to redclaydiaries @katdish Oddly, I have not seen bagels. Lox, yes. But apparently you put it on rolls. The no-mixing-meat-&-milk rule is interesting too.)

@Helenatrandom Oh yeah…because people come to my blog for recipes… (in reply to Helenatrandom @katdish Maybe you need to tell her she can share a recipe. She seems more interested in that blog lately. And facebook. 😉

This is how my mind works, people.

I just thought of a great name for a band: Medicinal Porpoises

@Helenatrandom For medicinal purposes, of course. (in reply to Helenatrandom @katdish Well, seat belts couldn’t hurt to keep me from falling off of a bar stool. I usually drink my whiskey sitting on a swivel chair…)

@Helenatrandom Seat belts? I dunno. Would that make a difference in your interest? (in reply to Helenatrandom @katdish Do the bar stools have seat belts?)

@sarahmsalter I’m just trying to keep it real, Sarah. (in reply to sarahmsalter @katdish Amen! In about 2 hours, that’s what I’ll look like. Only I WON’T be posting the pics!)

@arestlessheart I’m pretty random. (in reply to arestlessheart @katdish that was SO random… what the heck?)

Sometimes beauty isn’t pretty. http://twitpic.com/15b26c

Just got an email from someone who thinks my readers would B interested in cookware & barstools. Yeah…they did some in-depth research .

@coffeewithmarty For the record, I’m not ORIGINALLY from Texas. And there’s only one katdish. (in reply to coffeewithmarty @CandySteele Yes, you are right. Iowaegans need to stick together. The world is a big place 🙂 Full of @katdish Texans.)

@CandySteele Why you gotta be a katdish hater? (in reply to CandySteele @muchl8r Please clarify for the Twitter that you weren’t talking about @katdish)

@buzzbyannies You got that right. (in reply to buzzbyannies @Katdish Better than a dumba$$… Snort!)

@muchl8r Aw, you’re welcome! (in reply to muchl8r Some people… they just make joy. It’s pretty much amazing.)

@buzzbyannies Smart @$$ (in reply to buzzbyannies @Nick_thegeek @Candysteele In that last design I thought I saw the profile of @katdish at the top of the page… Sweird.)

RT @CandySteele: @katdish and for the record, Marty is WAY to polite to you. #justsayin @coffeewithmarty

@BridgetChumbley Exactly. But on the up side, you never have to wonder what I really think.(in reply to @katdish Is “somewhat direct” like saying the Pope is “sorta Catholic?”)

@CandySteele Look, I already told @coffeewithmarty that I was “somewhat direct”. He’s okay with that.

@CandySteele @Nick_theGeek And perhaps a coconut bra.

@CandySteele @Nick_theGeek I think there should be chex mix in the background.

@justanotherdayk @makeadiff21 So my choices are YouTube star or cirque de solis performer? Excuse me, that girl has math homework to do!

My daughter is hula hooping and jump roping at the same time! Surely there’s a future in that.

RT @br8kthru: @marni71 Ah, see- this is what I’m talking about… the sense of satisfaction is overwhelming (TWSS)

I concur RT @Helenatrandom: @katdish Thats more of an “TWHS”, isn’t it. #yeahiwentthere

noveldoctor That’s as delightful as it is horrifying. (in reply to noveldoctor @katdish I’ve always felt a kinship with Eeyore. But my goal is to be Eeyore as re-imagined by Tim Burton. Now that would be cool.)

@marni71 Not much. Been sort of in and out myself. Bring on the TWSS.

@noveldoctor Steve, you are the Eyore of writers. (in reply to noveldoctor @katdish Yeah. Starbucks is my Cheers. And my office. And my social bordello: I purchase a drink in exchange for a barista’s friendship.)

@noveldoctor You spent FIVE HOURS at Starbucks?

@n0spin Okay, it took me like 2 minutes to figure out what NP meant. Where is my low carb monster?

@shrinkingcamel You should wear it as a headband. That should make things interesting. (in reply to shrinkingcamel In board meeting all day today. Choking on the tie…)

Well, yes! As a matter of fact I AM still in my pajamas. Thanks for asking!

@Helenatrandom Sadly, Helen that’s the LAST thing he needs…Hence the name Buddy Love (in reply to Helenatrandom @katdish Are you sure that your dog Buddy doesn’t need Viagra? I’ve been hearing rumors….)

Dear Spam Commenters: Don’t need viagra, meridia, or prescription drugs for my dog. But thanks for asking.

@unmarketing Yay me! (in reply to unmarketing @katdish awesome. i’m doing a parody song on people who correct spelling/grammar in public 🙂 welcome to the video 😉

@unmarketing You and “me”. You’re welcome. (in reply to unmarketing @copyblogger people want to see you and I chatting. i’ve seen the research. But only you and I)

@billycoffey Oh, I’m the life of the freaking party! (in reply to billycoffey @katdish You are no fun at all.)

Walmart was educational. Who knew you could buy food for your ferret? http://twitpic.com/14r2lu

Hey people! Been at the Walmarts…Happy Monday!

@Becks_Beer Oh, well…Then I’ve totally made it! (in reply to Becks_Beer You ain’t made it until you have at least two stalkers. FACT!)

Check it out. Kohls gave me my own parking space! http://twitpic.com/14ms4b

@beckfromfrogandtoad Daughter – he’s MY dog! Why does he like you better? Me: Because I don’t trap him in the laundry basket.

RT @beckfromfrogandtoad: “Nobody love me!” The Baby is currently sobbing. “Nobody will let me be mean to the cat!”

(She says piously…)

@CandySteele @buzzbyannies @janetober @coffeewithmarty @jamieworley @kenworley @weightwhat Don’t you people have church in the morning?

***

And that concludes this week’s update. Sorry/you’re welcome.

Bad movies, Bingo and Behold! The Jesus Chair!

Yesterday I ranted incessantly about some of the silly things sold at Christian bookstores. I also invited folks to share some ridiculous items they had come across. Well, Michelle came through in spades with a link to a picture of “The Jesus Chair”. Sweet Fancy Moses!

Anyhoo…for some unexplained reason, it seems this was ignore katdish on the twitter week. But I don’t give up that easily…

And now, the best of me (or not) on the twitter:

@br8kthru That was quite horrible, no? ( in reply to br8kthru @katdish it’s so annoying! Thank you for the birthday greetings & if you send me the Jesus chair it will be regifted. 🙂

@sarahmsalter Tell @br8kthru that excuse is getting tired…

Would someone please tell @br8kthru to stop ignoring me on twitter? He’s been doing it all day.

@VariantVal Pretty much every day. Snort! (in reply to VariantVal Do you ever have days when you just feel extra sexy, and pretty and all hawt??)

@br8kthru Continues to ignore me…

@Brian_Russell Sorry/you’re welcome. (in reply to Brian_Russell @katdish That does help. Thanks. It’s like a smoker trying to quit and breathing in second-hand smoke to cope.)

@Brian_Russell Well, I’m up 44% from last month, if that helps… (in reply to Brian_Russell Day 2 without Google Analytics… I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t REALLY interested in my numbers…)

@br8kthru Happy Birthday Jason! Did you get a new sweater vest?

@gyoung9751 He is very doggy, isn’t he? (in reply to gyoung9751 You have a great dog. And he’s so — doggie.)

This what Buddy Love does after a bath. Annoying… http://twitpic.com/13zw6k

Wait…this is the best side http://twitpic.com/13zgdl

Back of C3 trailer http://twitpic.com/13zg79

C3’s trailer! http://twitpic.com/13zfu5

@DaleChumbley @BridgetChumbley I thought “getcherfreakon” was the next blog carnival.

@coffeewithmarty He’s a cranky ho sometimes, but he’s pretty much awesome. (in reply to coffeewithmarty @katdish ill follow your idaho guy 😉

@muchl8r New guy – @coffeewithmarty lives in Iowa, but is from Idaho.

@BridgetChumbley Bahahahahah! (in reply to BridgetChumbley @katdish @coffeewithmarty My new name: Bridget Cafe Chumbley or Bridget Coffeembly Gee… I’m not sure this works for me. *sigh*)

@coffeewithmarty Speak for yourself. @billycoffey is a total hillbilly. (in reply to coffeewithmarty @katdish HAHA! Neither @billycoffey or I are “hillbillies” I don’t think! I’m kinda a city kid stuck in Iowa.)

@coffeewithmarty Although I do seem to find an inordinate amount of hillbillys

@coffeewithmarty Oh, please…It’s not a country boy thing, it’s a “good writing” thing.

@BridgetChumbley You know what? You’re right! Hmmm… (in reply to BridgetChumbley @katdish What’s up with you and men with Coffee/Coffey names? Hmmm….)

@KathleenOverby Yeah, Kathleen. Maybe you shouldn’t read tomorrow. The tree will be fine. The boy? Not so much… (in reply to KathleenOverby @katdish Please don’t crush me. Are you going to bash the sentimental ole tree? I won’t be able to look. Mercy on the stump. I beg you.)

@Helenatrandom I think the point of the book was that you can be a hedonistic, self-indulgent opportunist & God will still love you…(in reply to Helenatrandom @katdish A letdown from about 34 years ago that I still am not over. I am pschologically scarred from that book not having a real point.)

…whist avoiding body checks and pucks to the head. Thoughts?

So, I was thinking it might be cool to combine men’s figure skating with hockey. Skaters would perform artistic skating routines…

@marni71 ZIP IT???? Oh, okay…but not everyone can talk to me like that. Consider yourself lucky. (in reply to marni71 @katdish Oh zip it. I just didn’t see u there due to lack of coffee. Latte is now on board. And….YOU CAIN’T QUIT ME!)

@buzzbyannies Well, thank you. (in reply to buzzbyannies @katdish @marni71 You Texans are ruthless with that unfollow hammer.)

@buzzbyannies If @marni71 doesn’t, we should put the unfollow hammer down on her.

@buzzbyannies That’s okay. We can shun @marni71 together.( in reply to buzzbyannies @marni71 I second the ahem.)

@marni71 Ahem! (in reply to marni71 @Nick_theGeek @makeadiff21 @billycoffey @CandySteele Good morning!)

@ronsteele7 I’m being cursed at by a celebrity! Lawsome. (in reply to ronsteele7 @katdish The teleprompter is broken, so #?% to you, imaginary friend, katdish)

@CandySteele I’m imagining RB typing from a teleprompter & waiting for him to type *?#% you, San Diego! (in reply to CandySteele @katdish RB is responding to blog comments.”That’s a lot of work. I hope I don’t die cuz there might be a lot of them.Oh, wait…nevermind”)

Me thinks some extracts think a bit too highly of themselves! http://twitpic.com/13nlue

@gyoung9751 Snort! (in reply to gyoung9751 @katdish Absolutely. No question about it.)

@gyoung9751 Had we not already established that? (in reply to gyoung9751 That means @katdish is the queen.)

The baby has escaped from the king cake. And he’s GOLD BABY! http://twitpic.com/13njn1

And where do I sign up for something like that?
So, there’s an olympic sport where you ski and shoot stuff with a rifle? Where have I been?

HLAC comments section – Where your raging ADD is always welcome. Just ask @redclaydiaries & buzzbyannies http://bit.ly/bHpNCY

After seeing The Tooth Fairy, I may have to rethink my screenplay The Life & Times of @billycoffey starring Dwayne Johnson.

@redclaydiaries Oh, it’s not Howard th Duck bad. Just a renter for sure.(in reply to redclaydiaries @katdish GAAA. Well, that settles it. I intend to “forget” to take kids to see it till after it leaves theaters. So thx for that.)

Wow. Just wow. That was 2 hours of my life I’ll never get back. And I have sticky shoes.

@JeffHolton @VariantVal Well, we’re about to see Tooth Fairy. I’m hoping it’s better than I expect it to be.

I am at the movies. My feet are stuck to the floor. Gross.

Has anyone seen the movie The Tooth Fairy? My daughter wants to go see it. Is it horrible?

@sarahmsalter Because I’ve found that one works for me…

@sarahmsalter Ultimately, I think you should go with your instincts on this one. The one that says @katdish is right.

@Nick_theGeek Oh, whateva… (in reply to Nick_theGeek @katdish well b careful arguing with me. beware the power of my mind)

@pagan43 That made me happy!

RT @pagan43: Put a geranium in your hat and be happy.

@Doallas Sharing is nice. But I don’t think I would like it if someone shared a banana by prying my jaws open. Sort of pushy, really… (in reply to Doallas @katdish The orang was sharing, actually. It’s clear it would be a no go (maybe more for you than Buddy).

@Doallas Also? Monkeys stink.

@Doallas Did you see how that ape was prying open the dog’s mouth? Buddy would have a fit! (in reply to Doallas So @katdish, does that mean no orangutan?)

@Doallas Ha! Buddy Monkey Love! (in reply to Doallas @katdish The perfect playmate for Buddy! http://ow.ly/17ADA )

Yeah, weird… http://twitpic.com/139tqn

My sister just won. Dang she’s lucky!

My daughter is taking the artistic approach. http://twitpic.com/133rs7

@HeatherSunseri I keep missing numbers. (in reply to HeatherSunseri @katdish How can you suck at Bingo?)

I suck at bingo…

@weightwhat so far, not so much… (in reply to weightwhat @katdish Ooo! Magenta must be lucky!)

See??? http://twitpic.com/133goz

@weightwhat I DO!!!! (in reply to weightwhat @katdish Do you have your very own dauber?)

Don’t judge me… http://twitpic.com/133ef1

Pulp Historical Fiction #boringmovies

Pirates of the Long John Silver’s Restaurant #boringmovies

Diary of a menopausal Caucasian woman #boringmovies

13 going on 14 #boringmovies

@RonSteele7 Sweet Lincoln’s Mullet! Happy Birthday Ron Burgandy!

Sorry/you’re welcome…

So, who is the boss of me anyway?



Pictures of the D.C. area courtesy of @Doallas (aka Maureen from Writing Without Paper)

Oh, lots of twitpics, much of the country had incredible amounts of snow while I tried to show solidarity by wearing socks and long sleeved shirts, @billycoffey continues to sass me, @Brian_Russell continues to obess over his Analytics, and @Nick_theGeek and I actually have a serious conversation on the twitter. But don’t worry, it didn’t last long. And if you’re new here, the tweets will make more sense if you start from the bottom and read up. But not much more sense…

Ready? Pack a lunch…

The best of me (or not) on the twitter:

Beer for dogs…because you have way too much disposable income. http://twitpic.com/12tqrd

Or…you could just shut your pie hole. http://twitpic.com/12tkrj

Pull-ease!!! http://twitpic.com/12thdy

Oh… http://twitpic.com/12th91

RT @Nick_theGeek: #FF @katdish almost as amazing as the hype //almost?

Okay…going to take some undercover pics at an overpriced store dedicated to stuff you should never buy your dog…

@Nick_theGeek yes. (in reply to Nick_theGeek Post title should be “leading an ass to water” according to @katdish. do you agree? http://goo.gl/fb/4OQP)

Oh, comments section of HLAC, you complete me

@buzzbyannies your lack of compassion hurts me deeply.. (in reply to buzzbyannies @katdish Whatev… Although I think you’ve gotten more snow than us this year.)

Brrr. Way too cold. http://twitpic.com/12rr45

Okay. I need to go write something longer than 140 characters.

Good News! I made blackened chicken for dinner. Bad News: I wasn’t trying to make blackened chicken.

My daughter wants me to watch a Jonas Brothers movie with her. It’s like she doesn’t even know me…

RT @stretchmarkmama: I’m not saying I have PMS or anything, BUT WHERE IS MY SHOTGUN?!

RT @detroitsteve: watching Saw 6 while eating an Arby roast beef sandwich….probably not my best idea of the day

RT @Helenatrandom: @br8kthru Okay. I’d be pretty mad at a toilet that called me sir. //That’s just funny in any context.

@llbarkat Oh, yeah…Elliot. More like Mad Libs. (in reply to llbarkat @katdish awesome… and that from a woman who said she doesn’t “get” poetry. (See? You were reading too much T.S. Eliot. 🙂

@noveldoctor Sigh…no. (in reply to noveldoctor @katdish @arestlessheart “Do not come lightly to the page.” / Can I use this as an excuse to eat fried foods and avoid exercise?)

@arestlessheart “Do not come lightly to the page.” Stephen King (in reply to arestlessheart @katdish thanks for the RT – this post was the hardest in this series for me to write…)

@Brian_Russell You should raise your standards.

@Brian_Russell That’s kinda sad, really. (in reply to Brian_Russell @katdish As odd as you may find it, yes, you’re in that group.)

@Brian_Russell You’re welcome. (in reply to Brian_Russell It’s fun to be replied to by famous people.)

@RobinMArnold I think using the term “the twitter” avails more opportunities for a TWSS moment. Win – win. (in reply to RobinMArnold @katdish I have always wondered about the proper use of Twitter, or THE Twitter?)

@weightwhat Metaphorically, apparently. (in reply to weightwhat @Helenatrandom How, exactly, do the Amish play cards?)

@Helenatrandom He must have his thesaurus out again. (in reply to Helenatrandom @katdish Perhaps. It’s some sort of game he called “Metaphorical”.)

Oh, Sweet Fancy Moses! >RT @billycoffey: @HeatheroftheEO I’m not gimp, I just have so much testosterone that it blew out my shoulder.

@Helenatrandom Amish cards? Now that’s manly…. (in reply to Helenatrandom @katdish Maybe you and @billycoffey can settle this by playing Amish cards like he suggested…)

@billycoffey You keep forgetting I have kinfolk in your neck of the woods. Lots of them. (in reply to billycoffey @RobinMArnold You know, @katdish can talk pretty tough from fifteen hundred miles away.)

@billycoffey What to the ever…(in reply to billycoffey @katdish It has. Dang it, shunning starting…now.)

@billycoffey Oh yeah, cuz that’s worked so well for you in the past. (in reply to billycoffey @katdish I’m going to play my Amish card and shun you.)

@billycoffey Bring it, Foo…(in reply to billycoffey @katdish Now you see, I was trying to be nice. The gloves are off now.)

@billycoffey Hey Gimpy! How are you feeling?

@Nick_theGeek So I suppose that takes us back to where we started. We can’t fix things, but God can. (in reply to Nick_theGeek @katdish I can tell you about God’s ability to break this cycle first hand. Not for me but for my dad.)

@Nick_theGeek So these kids stay in the home, nothing changes & they end up being abusers or victims. THAT’S WHAT IS SO FRUSTRATING! (in reply to Nick_theGeek @katdish it is “investigated” and in the two instances nothing happened. In the one I didn’t even think I should call it in though.)

@Nick_theGeek but they get put right back in. Don’t they? (in reply to Nick_theGeek @katdish I am a manatory reporter if it affects a minor. I have had to call twice.)

@Nick_theGeek What’s your legal obligation? If any? If you know this stuff is going on? (in reply to Nick_theGeek @katdish preaching to the choir here. I work with a lot of troubled kids.)

@br8kthru Whoa! Where did that come from? No, no plans for a novel. Although a katdishionary is possible. (in reply to br8kthru @katdish yeah it was unsettling – so you planning on writing a novel?)

@Nick_theGeek I know. It’s just so frustrating though. (in reply to Nick_theGeek @katdish yeah I think we need to remember that *we* can’t fix any thing … blog post idea it might be really good)

@Nick_theGeek it’s like you said, I want to fix everything, but I can’t. (in reply to Nick_theGeek @katdish yes ur post yesterday was very unsettling)

Guess I won’t be wearing my flops after all. Which is a shame, because they match my shirt. http://twitpic.com/12ga9r

@Brian_Russell Don’t you have something else to obsess about? (in reply to Brian_Russell Oh… no… Google Analytics is down for maintenance! WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO!?)

Okay. I’m serious this time. Really have to go watch 24 this week. It was disappointingly lacking in violence last week.

@billycoffey I’m totally Superman. (in reply to billycoffey @SMBlooding We’re like brother and sister. Or Superman and Lex Luthor.)

Crazy writers…

Do you people see what I have to put up with? >>>RT @billycoffey: @katdish Yes. Shut up and I hate you.

@BridgetChumbley I know! Tragic. (in reply to BridgetChumbley @katdish Oh no… you didn’t have to cover up those freshly painted toes?!)

@billycoffey Hey. Did you see my sock tweet?

I realize many of you are enduring bad winter weather, but did I mention that I’m having to wear socks today? I hate socks.

@marni71 Seven and Seven? Do they have matching “Kick me” shirts? (in reply to marni71 @PeterPollock You know what’s sad? My husband’s cousin is named “Seven”. So is his son. Wow.)

RT @beckfromfrogandtoad: @katdish Yes, fairly cute in a Let’s Move Out Of Our Rodent-Infested House Now sort of way. //Snort!

@beckfromfrogandtoad Oh, cute! Sort of like a wild hamster.

@Nick_theGeek It does help with the wrinkles. (in reply to Nick_theGeek @katdish also, did u c that @CandySteele is trying to get me 2 steam my own baby?)

@beckfromfrogandtoad What is a vole?

“The hottest place in Hell is reserved for those who in times of crisis preferred to remain neutral.” ~ Dante http://bit.ly/a8GSGj

Okay. I’m back…What is it about the carpool line that turns people into complete idiots?

Ugh! Is it morning already? http://twitpic.com/12dwr8

Dang – RT @BreakingNews: “Deadliest Catch” captain Phil Harris dies, Discovery announces http://bit.ly/b8F5Cr

@Brian_Russell I had to sign up for a digg account to vote for you. You’re welcome.

@Brian_Russell You truly are shameless. Well done, grasshopper. (in reply to Brian_Russell Help us get some Diggs! http://digg.com/d31IKcV #webcomic #LOST)

@BridgetChumbley You could put it right next to your patience.( in reply to BridgetChumbley @katdish The great part about my bra is that no matter how full the freezer is… you can always find room…)

@weightwhat Snort!( in reply to weightwhat @katdish Ssshhh! You weren’t supposed to say that until @sarahmsalter falls asleep!)

@BridgetChumbley That would totally work, but you lost me with the hashtag (in reply to BridgetChumbley @katdish How’s this? Don’t go to bed… you want to stay up ALL night! #reversepsychologyalwaysworks)

@weightwhat No luck so far.(in reply to weightwhat @katdish Are you ever gonna figure out who IS the boss of you?)

@weightwhat I’m more a bra in the freezer sort of gal.( in reply to weightwhat @katdish Wanna stay up all night, paint our nails and talk about boys then?)

@sarahmsalter Thanks, mom! (in reply to sarahmsalter @katdish Nope… But I am looking out for your best interests. :o)

@sarahmsalter You’re not the boss of me. (in reply to sarahmsalter @katdish Go to bed, woman!)

I need to go to sleep. I really, really do. And yet…I don’t want to. I’m so stubborn sometimes.

Okay, peeps. Gotta go interface with the non-virtual people.

RT @the_original_xy: chuck norris is trending again? what is wrong with the world?

Y’all, I’m not kidding. It’s COLD here! I’m wearing socks and a long sleeved shirt. Snort! http://twitpic.com/12a030

@VariantVal Words to live by, Val. (in reply to VariantVal @Nick_theGeek it bleaches some fabrics.. so either way the clothing is ruined, so it is best to kill naked still)

Curious… http://twitpic.com/129huy

@marni71 Oh Marns…that’s just sad.

RT @marni71: You know what’s a happy sound? That beep the microwave does when your Lean Cuisine is finished.

RT @billycoffey: My children are on their seventh straight snow day, further evidence that God really likes my book.

Buddy falls asleep watching tv again. http://twitpic.com/126ipz

Sorry/you’re welcome!

On the Tweetdeck (repost)

I was planning a twitter post for today, but…well…I’m honestly just not up to it. (Sorry/you’re welcome) So I thought I would repost one of my more impassioned speeches about Enriching lives through the power of social media (aka the twitter). May I present for your reading pleasure (or not)…

On the Tweetdeck:

Wow. Twitter is nuts. I have a very eclectic mix of people I follow, and boy does that make things interesting. I may have had some unfollows this week. I’m really not sure. It’s really hard to keep up with the comings and goings of all those folks. But for those whom I may have offended and caused to unfollow me, I offer the following:

Tweeps, we live in a world that has tweetdecks

and those tweetdecks need to be guarded by people with sarcasm.
Who’s gonna do it? You?
You, Mrs. Rainbow Unicorn Avatar?
I have a greater responsibility than you can possibly fathom.
You weep for Extreme Makeover – Home Edition
and curse my irreverence;
you have that luxury.
You have the luxury of not knowing what I know:
that monkey butt referenced tweets, while tragic,
probably saved lives
and that my existence,
while grotesque and incomprehensible to you, saves lives.
You don’t want the truth
because deep down in places you don’t talk about at parties
you want me on that tweetdeck,
you need me on that tweetdeck.
We use words like That’s what she said.
We use them as the backbone of a life trying to mock something.
You use them as a disapproving unfollow.
I have neither the time nor the inclination
to explain myself to a twit who rises and sleeps
under the blanket of the very ridiculousness
I provide and then questions the manner in which I provide it.
I would rather you just said “thank you,” and went on your way.
Otherwise, I suggest that you pick up a keyboard and post a tweet.
Either way, I don’t give a damn what you think you are entitled to!
Back next week with my regularly scheduled post…

Twitter Update moves to Saturday


Okay, peeps – I’m changing things up a bit. I’ve decided to move the twitter update to Saturday. Why? Oh, just because I felt like it. Actually, I’d like to do a bit more “actual writing” here during the week. We’ll see how it plays out.

I received some very exciting news yesterday. (Actually, two exciting announcements in one day). I’ll share one of them next week, but the other I still have to keep mum about for a bit longer. Dang it.

But for now, here’s the best of me (or not) on the twitter:

@Nick_theGeek Sorry, but no. But AHHHH! (in reply to Nick_theGeek @katdish not even with me?)

AHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! I’m excited about something. But sorry, can’t share.

The Church of No People blog is like the giant jar of cheez whiz to my computer’s intestinal system. Wuddup with that?

@redclaydiaries Sorry/you’re welcome (in reply to redclaydiaries @katdish TOO MUCH INFORMATION. I need to go scrub my brain.)

I suppose I should get a seat cozy for my vinyl chair ~ RT @billycoffey: Why you must write naked ~ http://bit.ly/b6n01q

@Helenatrandom Snort! “Twitter Ho Tweets” Sounds like some kind of Little Debbie product by Sylvester the Cat.

@sarahmsalter Sitting here thinking I should probably eat breakfast, but don’t feel like getting up. Devastating laziness strikes again.

@billycoffey It was, huh? (in reply to billycoffey @katdish That was bloody brilliant!)

Two, two…Two tweets in one!

If you suffer from Fatassitosis, http://bit.ly/dvuVKe perhaps you should not write naked http://bit.ly/aK4etP

Including, but not limited to Kadonkadonk, Badonkadonk, and Fatassistosis.

Disclaimer: Any and all comments left of my blog, Hey Look a Chicken, may be used in part or in their entirety as future blog fodder.

RT @christomlinson_: “Chris Tomlinson: He doesn’t make me want to vomit.” by @katdish. Grace comes in many forms. http://ow.ly/11wFi

@makeadiff21 You’re asking ME what constitutes normal? You should probably go lay down. (in reply to makeadiff21 @katdish That isn’t normal?? Oh, please tell me that’s normal.)

Sigh…How is it that I’ve been busy all day and feel like I’ve gotten nothing accomplished?

@marni71 I sometimes write my posts in wing dings. Just because… (in reply to marni71 @prodigaljohn Verdana is holier. Just sayin…)

@bryanallain Did you want his cell number? (in reply to bryanallain I’m thinking about interviewing Steve Jobs for my blog. Not a possibility of course, but I’m thinking about it anyway.)

@sarahmsalter Oh, I can’t define crap, I just know it when I see it. (in reply to sarahmsalter @katdish See, you have to define “crap.” ‘Cuz I’m afraid to send you ANYthing.)

@sarahmsalter Yes. I’m anti-crap. (in reply to sarahmsalter @katdish Oh, yes. I admit this. You know when something’s good and when something’s crap. It’s your spiritual gift.)

@sarahmsalter Yes, but you must admit that a katdish endorsement is kind of a big deal… (in reply to sarahmsalter @billycoffey I don’t need @katdish to vouch for your post, Dude. They stand on their own & prove themselves.)

I’m here! Commence the celebrations

Good Morning! My dog is having an emotional breakdown. I put his (nasty, gross) dog bed in the washing machine.

@myreallips Or a steel trap. One of those…

@myreallips Because I have a mind like a steal trap. (in reply to marni71 @buzzbyannies GAAAA! I thought I told ya’ll. How does @katdish know but not the rest of you? I have a complex now.)

@myreallips OOSTA! (in reply to marni71 @sarahmsalter @br8kthru I just like that @Nick_theGeek changed his, so I changed mine. And the story behind it will make @katdish laugh.)

RT @ryanmer: Only 15 minutes until Steve Jobs announces something I can’t afford, don’t need, and absolutely want.

@DueFriday Nobody beats Jack Bauer (except maybe @billycoffey) (in reply to DueFriday RT @DavidBGoddard The new Apple tablet is rumored to beat Kindle, cancer, Jack Bauer, Chuck Norris & fix the world trade deficit with China.)

I don’t think so. Homey don’t play that.

So now, if I don’t send this heart out to him and everyone else and someone dies, THAT’S ON MY HEAD?

UGH! My dad always sends me these email forwards. Today’s: “Give this heart to everyone you don’t want to lose in 2010”.

Is it just me, or does the Russian boss on 24 look like @badbanana?

@redclaydiaries @Nick_theGeek I’m talking to everyone, because everyone cares.

@katdish Also? I bought space bags today. 20-30 stuffed animals will now fit neatly into the attic.

@sarahmsalter Bribery & ultimatims. The cornerstone of parenting.

@Nick_theGeek Why yes. Yes I am. (in reply to Nick_theGeek @katdish ru painting a big monkey butt on ur daughter’s wall?)

I tell my daughter “I want everything off the floor” and I can’t really fault her for not following instructions. http://twitpic.com/zrwx8

@mylestones Sort of like when my daughter used to tell me all the time, “Mommy, please stop talking to me.”

RT @mylestones: I asked my 5yo son how he would feel about doing school at home & me being his teacher. His one word response: “Bad.”

@amysorrells That’s called a vurp. (in reply to amysorrells Just turned in passport application. It felt…terrifying…and epic. I think I only threw up a little bit in my mouth, as they say.)

@joannamuses Oh man. I’d have all kinds of awards. (in reply to joannamuses if only society considered being an excellent procrastinator an achievement)

@Nick_theGeek Red Man as in the tobacco, not Native Americans. Just to be clear. (Not that there’s anything wrong with that)

@Nick_theGeek Ah yes. The list of tax deductions is growing. Wonder if I should take up a Red Man habit.(in reply to Nick_theGeek @katdish u should look n2 a tax deduction 4 ur cable bill …)

Watching Hillbilly: The Real Story on The History Channel (client research)

@kristaphillips Ah the beauty of the store is it has both. I think I’ve said No about 15 times. (in reply to kristaphillips @katdish my daughter gravitates 2 that section the moment we enter the store. She’s supposed to want expensive clothes, not stupid crap!)

At Justice with my daughter. Land of crap she doesn’t need. http://twitpic.com/zfrdz

“I got kicked out of ballet class because I pulled a groin muscle. It wasn’t mine.” ~ Rita Rudner

@billycoffey I have a really good feeling about this one. I really do.

RT @billycoffey: Sent a copy of Snow Day to my hero of 25 years for a possible endorsement. Fingers crossed, prayers said.

Dear Person who left me a DM telling me you’re looking forward to my tweets. You’re not following me, goober.

@marni71 Snort! (in reply to marni71 RT @katdish: Sorry people! I’m busy CHANGING LIVES here!// that’s just a day job. Twitter is your ministry. Get your priorities straight.)

Sorry people! I’m busy CHANGING LIVES here!

@Babybloomr Yes, sort of a twirlyworld sisterhood. (in reply to Babybloomr @katdish I totally love your twirly world! I live in twirly world!)

Fave comment today: I had to unfollow you for a bit. The straight tweet world needed to be figured out. Your twirly world confused me…

@billycoffey Tell me something I don’t already know. (in reply to billycoffey @katdish Ah. That’s my normal.)

@togetherforgood I’m fairly incorrigible…

@billycoffey Tired/snarky/reality based. (in reply to billycoffey @katdish Was that snarky? Because that sounded snarky.)

@billycoffey Yes. It is morning isn’t it?

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