Katdish.net

If I’ve said it once, I’ve said it a hundred times, but it bears repeating: Retail is for suckers. Having said that, I feel I should share with you some cautionary advice about spending extended periods in stores that offer “designer brands at discount prices”. If you do not find the deal of a lifetime within the first 10 minutes, LEAVE IMMEDIATELY! In your desperate attempt to find a bargain, often things that you wouldn’t give at the tackiest white elephant gift exchange somehow find their way into your shopping cart. If you are weak, shop with a buddy — preferably one who will bluntly tell you just how incredibly ugly that sunflower tea cozy really is. (If you’re in the Houston area, I am available at a nominal fee.)

Since a picture truly is worth a thousand words, I will give you some examples of what NOT to buy on your next shopping excursion.

In my exciting and rewarding career as a faux-paux painter, not only do I help my clients choose a color palette, help them with creative decorating solutions, and wipe God only knows what off of their baseboards, as an added service, I also am always on the lookout for decorative pieces that might fit with their decor. I have worked in a vast array of homes with a wide variety of decorative tastes. I have not, however, ever had the occasion to select anything like this:

(Then again, I’ve never painted for any missionary families.)

And while we’re on the subject of decorating, I have also painted a few fairly awesome beach themed rooms (if I do say so myself). Here’s the thing — if a child requests a surfing or beach theme, it is usually because he or she thinks it would be incredibly cool to have their friends hang out in said room. Resist the urge to buy every surfer themed item! Less is more. Besides, little statues like this do not scream, “I am cool”:

They scream, “I am as nerdy and as fish-belly white as Captain Shorty Pants, here.”

With a name like “katdish” you would think that I would be all about the decorative cat accessories — and you would be wrong. I don’t dislike cats; I have a cat. But having a real cat (and the associated litter box) is really all I need. I’m not fond of the bumper sticker declaring my sworn loyalty to the Abyssinian, Persian or Siamese. Nor, would I ever own any of these items:

And frankly, if you have actual cats that resemble any of the ones pictured, shopping should be way down the list of problems you’ve yet to deal with. And speaking of pets, if you purchase a lead crystal dog bowl for your little four-legged friend, does the word “Spoiled” really need to be engraved on it, Captain Obvious?

The following items truly defy any logic. I can only loosely categorize them into “weird stuff you might put food into or perhaps frighten a small child with”:

While we’re on the topic of frightening, have you ever purchased a celebrity endorsed product? I’m not talking about something useful like a thigh master or a George Foreman grill. What I mean is, have you purchased an item with a celebrity’s likeness on the packaging? Nothing says, “You really should stay with your own children next Christmas, Uncle Phil” like a celebrity endorsed board game:

Do we have any Dr. Laura fans out there? If you have read all of Dr. Schlessinger’s books and listen to her radio program faithfully, yet still are not entirely convinced of what a pathetic loser you really are, perhaps you may be in need of some personal counseling via your very own Dr. Laura doll:

Not only is your favorite snarky psycho-therapist decked out in a fabulous lemon yellow pants suit, but if you politely and respectfully press the center button of her single breasted, designer jacket, she will speak to you in that oh-so condescending voice of hers. I know this to be true, because I do what I am told. And when I saw that little blue circle that says “Try Me”, I did just that. I’m not entirely certain what she said to me, as my actions coincided with an announcement on the intercom (“Clean up on Aisle 5″). But I’m pretty sure she called me a tramp.

We’ve talked about the inside of your house, but what does the exterior of your home convey to others? Seriously, people. Do I even need to mention you should avoid the lawn and garden aisle at Big Lots at all costs?:

I will close this post with a word of advice for readers of the female persuasion. When you are getting dressed in the morning and your husband gazes upon your backside, do you really want him reminded of Easter egg hunts from days gone by, and the “big one that got away”?

While I have been known to rock the granny panties on those days between “when the laundry should be done” and “when the laundry is actually done”, clearly this should not be a regular practice. Besides, they make an excellent tea cozy!

I had some outpatient surgery on Tuesday, spent Wednesday recovering from said surgery and catching the flu from my kids. Oh yeah…tons of fun. After approximately 297 phone calls to the doctor’s office and pharmacy, everyone is on flu meds and we are all on the mend. I wasnt’ going to do a post for today, but what the heck – I’m just lying here being miserable. I figure I might as well spread the love. So here you go…

The best of me (or not) on the twitter:

Alright people. Gotta get off the computer for now. I’ll be back tomorrow & I’ll be medicated.

@br8kthru That’s an excellent motto for a pastor, Jason. (in reply to: @katdish Well, I thought it wasn’t bad either & then everyone tried to get me nervous. ‘Don’t listen to people,’ that’s my new motto.)

@br8kthru Nah, you’re good. That’s the least disturbing picture you’ve created so far. (in reply to: @katdish If anything, it’s a tribute. Anyone who sees it differently just needs a better perspective…)

@BridgetChumbley Nah, not yet anyway…(in reply to: RT @katdish: @br8kthru You know what they say about paybacks, right Jason? (laughs maniacally) ///but is he dead to you?)

makeadiff21 It’s okay Ginny. I’m used to constant abuse at the hands of my friends.

I’m channeling Sherri in my tweets lately.

@Helenatrandom Or “MY” back as they say in some countries…

@Helenatrandom Oh Helen – I know you’ve always got may back.

@bryanallain Do you mean like debriefing vs depantsings?

RT @bryanallain: Every time I say “just livin the dream” to someone, I want to punch myself in the face. //twitpics, please.

@JeanneDamoff Mostly alive, but there are some that are looking a bit peeked. (in reply to: @katdish Hey! I’ve missed your awesomeness. You good? Everyone alive to you these days?)

@redclaydiaries You complete me, Steph. (in reply to: @katdish Love that you RT’d @helenatrandom. I’ll say what you couldn’t fit: THAT’S WHAT SHE SAID!)

RT @sarahmarkley: Someone in my cycle class smelled like corn chips. It wasn’t me.

RT @Helenatrandom: @sarahmsalter I don’t know why. I only know that she was upset she could not have frozen banana in the summer….

@br8kthru I love a pastor than can seized on a good TWSS moment. (in reply to: @katdish you are “appaulled” huh? TWSS)

@weightwhat I’m shocked and appaulled that you would ask me that. (in reply to: @katdish If I tell you will you use it against me?)

RT @billycoffey: @katdish But what really keeps us as friends is your stunning humility. // Now you’re getting with the program.

@weightwhat How did you make that little TM?

@billycoffey I am a wonderful influence. Unlike @weightwhat, I really AM goodness and light.

RT @weightwhat: @billycoffey YESH! // You’re a bad influence, Wendy!

RT @weightwhat: @Helenatrandom No, we wouldn’t want to deprive @katdish. I’ll get right on it. //Let it be written. Let it be done!

RT @PeterPollock: I’m sure @br8kthru could quickly mash up a picture of @katdish laughing maniacally //NO! Still having breakdish nighmares

Which should make everyone feel much better.

That should have been LAUGHING maniacally, not Laughigh maniacally…

Laughigh maniacally whilst rubbing my hands together…

RT @br8kthru: @marni71 Yeah, ignoring @katdish would be like ignoring a spreading rash -it’s to your own detriment //You got that right.

RT @marni71: @br8kthru Ignore @katdish . She’s just trying to get us to fight again… // IGNORE KATDISH? That’s not possible.

RT @marni71: @br8kthru You should do Public Service Announcements. Your advice is relevant and wise… // TWSS

@godhasablog You know how they say it’s just an honor to be nominated? It’s so much better to win…

RT @godhasablog: …. do you want to wait until you get to Heaven and get it at a big awards ceremony hosted by Neil Patrick Harris?

RT @godhasablog: Congrats to @katdish for winning the #essayspectacular! Important questions: do you want your prize now, OR…..

@jamieworley That is so wrong on so many levels. Can dogs feel embarrassment? Yes. Yes they can.

RT @jamieworley: @katdish Check out these dogs. You will laugh! This could be a whole blog post in itself: http://bit.ly/4i9J2R

@buzzbyannies I’m pretty open about my love of Boz. He doesn’t have to like it

@buzzbyannies Hey Annie! Thanks for the Boz pic! Buddy Love was jealous.

Son: Dad, can you take me to the mall? DH: Well… Son: Wait, before you start yapping, let me just say… Me: Snort!

RT @HerbieGookins: Kids are being unusually good today. Makes me wonder if there’s a piano suspended above my head that I don’t know about.

@CandySteele Why thank you Candy. You also rock.

@redclaydiaries It’s exactly like that…

@redclaydiaries don’t make me go samurai ghetto on you. It’s a lethal combination.

@sarahmsalter You know, real monkeys are actually quite vile. Have you been to the zoo lately?

@muchl8r – Thank you for that clarification, because I was about to call you out on that one.

RT @muchl8r: Let me modify that. More colorful language than MOST church people.

RT @muchl8r: Hanging out with the unsaved moving guys at the office. They have more colorful language than church people:)

I got an email from someone I don’t know with an overseas phone # saying “for friendship”. Um….ewh

RT @JeanneDamoff: @katdish Broody? Don’t make me skip and frolic my way over there. //Snort!

So true. I like the way E B White says it: “Omit useless words.” (in reply to: @katdish I’ll save ya time: So the writer who breeds more words than he needs, is making a chore for the reader who reads. Dr. Seuss)

@JeanneDamoff Yes, well…He’s sort of broody sometimes. You know how you writers get…

I’m calling you out. Right here on the twitter. Have a nice day.

So, here’s the deal. If you follow me thru one of the auto-follow robots & then unfollow me 24 hrs later when I don’t refollow (cont.)

@billycoffey How’s that?

AHEM! I hereby apologize for misreading @billycoffey ‘s tweet about twitter fighting. He is no longer dead to me.

@billycoffey If you don’t know, then you’re even deader to me. Oh wait…I misread that last tweet. Nevermind…

RT @weightwhat: @katdish I admit to nothing. //So are you saying you can neither confirm nor deny my previous tweet?

@billycoffey You didn’t even last 24 hours – DEAD TO ME!

@makeadiff21 I’m not bad, I just tweet that way…

I think @weightwhat stalks the twitter then pounces on unsuspecting victims.

@br8kthru True. I could understand if she was a yankee, but a southerner should be all up in Dr Pepper.

@br8kthru Yes, well. If that doesn’t work there’s always the exorcism route…(in reply to: @katdish she’s still unrepentant but I believe through my example she will see the light…)

@marni71 Yes. I knew that already. But Jesus loves him anyway. (in reply to: @katdish That’s a good call. Just don’t take @br8kthru ‘s side. EVER. He just revealed he’s from Oklahoma.)

@Helenatrandom Whatever y’all are talking about, I’m on Helen’s side…

No post today, I’m still recovering from some outpatient surgery on Tuesday. Everything went well and I am resting comfortably at home. I just underestimated my recovery time. I figured that by today I’d be at the gym. (That is, if I went to the gym.)

Thanks for all the prayers, emails and haikus – even the one you deleted Steph – that was awesome. And Bridget – Dang.

Now go read some other blogs, M’kay? And thanks again.

I first “met” Sara when she contacted Billy Coffey requesting an interview. I was so completely blown away by her questions and her obvious understanding of the publishing business that I immediately went over the check out her blog, “I Am Write”. Color me impressed! Check out her bio:

BIO: Sara Tribble is finally twenty-one, still married, and rocking her Cinderella shoes whenever she can. She writes flash/short fiction with a handful of publications online, works on numerous novels, and is the Publishing Editor of Flash Me Magazine. If she’s not writing, she’s playing video games, eating, or blogging, seriously.

And here’s her story, Cinderella Shoes:

When my boyfriend asked me to marry him, people thought we were crazy. Both coming out of high school, he was already in the military, two young hearts flooded with love were just some of the reasons. My parents never minded and supported both of us, even when we announced our desire for a shotgun wedding at the local court house. I wasn’t pregnant or anything, which was another speculation, but we had to be married to live together.

Regardless of the size ceremony, my father wanted to take me out for shoes since I already bought a beautiful dress to wear, nothing fancy just simple and elegant. My dad had to go to the city for some work supplies, so he took the chance to take me along for shoes at the local mall.

We entered the store and shoes were everywhere. All colors, all styles, and tons to match my dress. I chose a pair I really liked, silver with rhinestones. They were under fifty dollars so I showed my dad. The price made him twitch because he was recently laid off from work due to the economy.

“Let’s keep looking, but hold onto these,” he said.

I returned for the search to find my shoes. Noting his financial situation, I looked in the clearance area and found a sleek heel, perfect ivory matching my dress for under ten bucks. I put the expensive shoes back and held onto the different box. He offered to get me the expensive ones, but I refused telling him I liked this pair much more, which I did, so he put down the fancy Cinderella shoes (as he called them) at the nearest table display.

On the way out of the store he said something to me that I remember to this day.

“I’m so glad I was able to buy you a pair of shoes for your wedding. The ones you have are really nice. Thanks for looking at the cheaper ones. I wanted to be able to buy you something for your wedding, but with work, things have been tough.”

I think it was hard to admit it at the time because our family has usually been secured with work and income, but sometimes life doesn’t always give you that luxury. The day of my wedding I slid on my dress and shoes, walked into that courthouse with my parents and husband’s parents to be married.

When it was over, my dad whispered to me, “You look beautiful sweetheart, I’m so proud of you. I wish I had more to give you for this special day.”

“You did,” I said. “Your guidance and love through the years. Not to mention, I got my Prince Charming now with my Cinderella shoes.”

“Those aren’t the Cinderella shoes,” he replied and looked down to the ground shamefully.

“They are to me.” I smiled and hugged him again.

To read more from Sara Tribble visit her at I Am Write and follow him on the twitter at @saratribble.

In honor of the fact that I will be undergoing some outpatient surgery today (no biggie – not to worry),I have decided to turn this over to you, gentle readers.

I know for a fact that many of you are quite creative. With this in mind, I am asking that you submit via the comments section your own haiku or haikus. Please keep in mind that I will be loopy on pain meds while reading these, so I’m sure they will all be wonderful.

I will begin with the haiku that inspired this post, courtesy of my friend Wendy from Weight What:

Haikus Are Easy
But Sometimes They Don’t Make Sense
Refrigerator

which I emailed to my friends Jeff and Tamara, who responded in kind:

Haikus Are OK
If You Like That Sort Of Thing
The Giving Wombat

to which I responded:

Sometimes I wonder
What life is really about
Platypus Rainbow

So there you have it. Dazzle me. You’ll be glad you did…

(Or not.)

It’s a little ironic that though I tend to be a bit picture kind of guy, it’s hours and days I’m more interested in than months and years. What’s happening down the road doesn’t really concern me. What’s happening now does. This is why I tend to pay much more attention to my watch than my calendar.

This is also why it’s a good thing God made department stores. Otherwise, I would not know what holiday is upon us.

The department stores here say that Halloween will be soon. There are costumes and candy and ghouls and, even, greeting cards. You know you’ve arrived as a holiday when you get your own greeting cards. Halloween is getting big.

And I think it should be big, if for no other reason than it focuses upon one of the great issues of our lives.

Fear.

In the interest of writing-frees-the-soul, I can confess that I normally do not talk about my fears. I’ll even go so far as to say that I go to certain lengths to maintain the lie that I do not have any. I do have fears. Many, in fact. And I don’t care who you are, how tough you happen to be, or how much faith you have, you’re scared of something, too.

However. The thing about fear is that it’s often a very big shadow of a very little thing. Dragging it out into the light and seeing it for what it is can be a liberating experience, or so I’ve heard. So it’s along those lines that I will blaze the trail for anyone else who might read this and admit those things that send a shiver up my spine and force me to sleep with the light on.

Zombies


Ghosts? Ghosts don’t bother me. And I laugh at monsters. Vampires run from ME. But zombies freak me out. I think it’s the slow but steady movement. Zombies are patient, and I don’t understand patience. Honestly, the whole taste for human flesh thing doesn’t really bother me as much as the ratty clothes, the pale skin, and that “AAAHHHH” sound they make. Zombies are the worst creatures in the world. I don’t care who you are, if you turn into a zombie and come at me, I’ma killin’ you.

Clowns


The fear of clowns is shared by so many people that it actually has a clinical name—coulrophobia. Stephen King wrote about Pennywise the Clown in It. John Wayne Gacy, one of the worst serial killers in history, dressed as Pogo the Clown for children’s birthday parties. And who can forget Crazy Joe Davola on Seinfeld? He dressed as a clown, too. And he was crazy.

Ventriloquist Dummies

Yeah.

Ice Cream Trucks

Those of you who have never seen the movie Maximum Overdrive may not truly appreciate how utterly mortifying ice cream trucks are. As much as I believe Stephen King to be a genius, he’s ruined more than one seemingly innocent thing for me. This is one. There’s an ice cream truck that drives around our neighborhood in the summer (blaring Christmas music, by the way), and every time I see it I make a hasty yet dignified retreat back into the house. This, by the way, is not that ice cream truck. I get too shaky to take a picture of it, so I borrowed this shot from the movie off the internet.

Yes, I know this one may be a little stupid. No, I don’t care. Ice cream trucks are evil. You’re just gonna have to trust me on that.

So there you go. All my fears laid out for your reflection and mockery. I figure I’m good so long as I never run into a zombie clown whose ventriloquist dummy is driving an ice cream truck sporting a doll as a hood ornament. Chances are that won’t happen.

But I figure most fears are like that, anyway.

To read more from Billy Coffey or to hyperlink pictures of zombies, clowns, ventriloquist dummies, dolls and/or ice cream trucks, visit him at What I Learned Today and follow him on the twitter at @billycoffey.

Philippians 2 Imitating Christ’s Humility
If you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any fellowship with the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and purpose. Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.

Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus:
Who, being in very nature God,
did not consider equality with God something to be grasped,
but made himself nothing,
taking the very nature of a servant,
being made in human likeness.
And being found in appearance as a man,
he humbled himself
and became obedient to death—
even death on a cross!

Therefore God exalted him to the highest place
and gave him the name that is above every name,
that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow,
in heaven and on earth and under the earth,
and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord,
to the glory of God the Father.

Shining as Stars
Therefore, my dear friends, as you have always obeyed—not only in my presence, but now much more in my absence—continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who works in you to will and to act according to his good purpose.

Do everything without complaining or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure, children of God without fault in a crooked and depraved generation, in which you shine like stars in the universe as you hold out the word of life—in order that I may boast on the day of Christ that I did not run or labor for nothing. But even if I am being poured out like a drink offering on the sacrifice and service coming from your faith, I am glad and rejoice with all of you. So you too should be glad and rejoice with me.

What is your blog about?

Assuming you have a blog, how often have you been asked that question? My answer usually goes something like this: “Um, well, that’s sort of hard to explain. It’s sort of like talking to me, without so many random obscure references to subjects we’re not even discussing.

Also, while writing, I’m not distracted by blank stares or someone constantly interrupting with questions pertaining to what on God’s green earth I’m talking about. Seriously, my blog is about about thoughts and commentary from my ADD mind. At least, that’s how it started out. But I was reading an old book by Robert Fulghum called “It Was on Fire When I Lay Down on It” that sums it up much better in the introduction:

Show and Tell was the very best part of school for me, as a student and as a teacher. Not recess or lunch, but that special time set aside each week for students to bring something important to class to share and talk about.

As a kid, I put more into getting ready for my turn to present than I put into the rest of my homework. Show-and-Tell was real in a way that much of what I learned in school was not. It was education that came out of my life experience. And there weren’t a lot of rules about Show-and-Tell — you could do your thing without getting red-penciled or gonged to your seat.

As a teacher, I was always surprised by what I learned from these amateur hours. A kid I was sure I knew well would reach down into the paper bag he carried and fish out some odd-shaped treasure and attach meaning to it beyond my most extravagant expectation. It was me, the teacher, who was being taught at such moments.

Again and again I learned that what I thought was only true to me…only valued by me…only cared about by me…was common property.

Show-and-Tell was a bit disorderly and unpredictable. What the presentations lacked in conventional structure was compensated for by passion for the subject at hand.

The principles guiding this [blog] are not far from the spirit of Show-and-Tell. It is my stuff from home — that place in my mind and heart where I most truly live.

And so, to my old friends and new; to my lurkers and my prolific commenters; to those of you whose blogs I read on a regular basis and others I check in on from time to time — Thank you. Thank you for allowing me to share my stuff and for sharing your stuff with me. Thank you for allowing me to be silly, sarcastic, serious, sappy, self-righteous, and a bunch of other “S” words. I’m a better writer, listener and dare I say better person for the experience.

This is not a “Goodbye Hey Look a Chicken” post. Just a “Thanks for the Memories So Far” post.

More random silliness from me and the gang on the twitter this week. I’ll admit I didn’t spend much time there this week, but I still managed to tweet more than I thought I did, which is typically the case. I imparted some valuable advice to top literary agent Rachelle Gardner, and at the moment Billy Coffey is no longer dead to me, but there’s always tomorrow…

@Brian_Russell wrote a great gripe piece about social media on his blog this week. You should check it out: Social Media, What a Fad.

The best (or not) of me on the twitter:

Gotta go interface with the non-virtual world. Miss me.

@redclaydiaries Clowns, blue man group, mimes, televangelists, etc…And frogs – but that’s another story… (in response to: @makeadiff21 I love your avatar. Has @katdish talked to you since you changed it? I hear she’s skeered of clowns…)

@redclaydiaries Yes. I am afraid of clowns – Well technically not clowns per sea, just people with make up covering their face…(cont.)

RT @br8kthru: @billycoffey there are plenty of days I’d love to be sweating rather than stuck in a cubicle (TWSS)

@marni71 Also, @weightwhat just informed @sarahmsalter what TWSS meant. How could anyone follow us & not know that?

@marni71 @herbiegookins has a mouse in her house & I wrote a post about her socks in a box. #drseuss

@sarahmsalter Do you speak pig latin? Because @herbiegookins can probably translate if not

@HerbieGookins That’s why…

On my blog today, @herbiegookins will stroll down memory lane w/ @rachaelmphillip & her dad’s sock. http://bit.ly/QztuC

@sarahmsalter You know, @weightwhat is pretty crafty herself. And yes, I mean that in more than one way.

@HerbieGookins Hey! What’s your mom’s twitter handle again? Is it @rachaelmphillips?

@muchl8r Not really. I’m doing some behind the scenes stuff. Very hush, hush…I could tell you, but then I’d have to – well, you know…

@Helenatrandom Thank you, sweet Helen. I’m expounding on Beth’s comment from my Socktacular post.

@Helenatrandom Yes. Despite that fact that he delights in annoying me, he has his redeeming qualities (referring to @PuriChristo)

@muchl8r Yes. I’m actually painting children

Dear blogs in my sidebar: I’m really sorry. I’ll catch up soon. I promise.

RT @marni71: The ball was on the cart path. Why don’t you look up the rules…shankapotomus. //I love that baby!

Hey Y’all! Miss me? Well miss me some more. I got some stuff to do.

@billycoffey Yes, you do. Is today garbage day? Perhaps you could wrestle a garbage can bear. (in response to: @katdish I do need some gratuitous violence, don’t I?)

@billycoffey Which has more gratuitous violence? I’m guessing the Bond movie.

@br8kthru We never talk anymore Jason.

@shrinkingcamel Hmmm….don’t know about that. (in response to: Yesterday I referred someone to @katdish as @billycoffey’s “Handler.” Was that inappropriate?)

Do you like the book “The Giving Tree”? Read my blog and find out why you’re wrong. http://bit.ly/3b8H6D

Okay. I’ve got to get off the twitter. @weightwhat @Helenatrandom – stop talking about @billycoffey via DM. I know how you are…

@Helenatrandom In reference to your DM – Bahahahahaha!!!!!! That’s what she said.

@CandySteele Have you tried duct tape?

Oh, nevermind….there she is. Hey @marni71!

Okay. How come I can’t see @marni71 on my tweetdeck! Head will ROLL, people!

I hereby claim intellectual property rights on the aforementioned tweet.

Thank you, @redclaydiaries . AHEM! @katdish – enriching lives thru the power of social media (R with a circle around it).

@redclaydiaries I’m enriching lives thru the power of social media. You know, the usual…

@weightwhat Sitting here contemplating my day. Waiting on some stuff…(She says mysteriously)

@RachelleGardner feel free to use my escalator pitch. That’s pretty much golden. (in response to: Speaking to writers group tonight about elevator pitches, taglines & synopses. Guess I’d better think about what to say.)

RT @billycoffey: @HerbieGookins I’m not that transparently childish, am I? // Wow. That’s too easy.

@PeterPollock Are you trying to make me angry? Do you really want to face my wrath?

I big pink fuzzy heart @badbanana I know I’ve said that before, but it bears repeating…

RT @badbanana: We need more solidarity in this country. Like in the 1970s when we all joined together to defeat Ring Around the Collar.

@RachelleGardner I have a escalator pitch, where I talk to you while running up the down escalator. Very effective, and quite the workout. (in response to: @katdish Especially if you’re planning to pitch ME.)

@prodigaljohn You need to write a post about puppet ministry, but warn me first. Those things freak me out

@RachelleGardner Especially if the conference is held in a hotel with an elevator.

RT @RachelleGardner: If you’re going to a conference anytime soon, be SURE to polish your elevator pitch!

@PuriChristos Oh, he’ll come groveling back. They all do…(in response to: @katdish did you hear that @billycoffey is taking back his apology?)

RT @billycoffey: @katdish ((sorry)) // LADIES & GENTLEMEN, My public apology from @billycoffey. Carry on…

RT @redclaydiaries: @weightwhat Me and triple the Jonas… Yes, that sounds strangely soothing. And yes, TWSS.

@billycoffey Shhhh! Don’t talk. (in reply to: @PeterPollock @katdish Again?! This has happened before?!)

@PeterPollock I don’t know what happened. I tell you, I’m dangerous (in reply to: @katdish again?)

@PeterPollock Well, somebody messed up the contact page on somebody’s website. Sorry.

RT @godhasablog: I’m mentioning @katdish in this tweet only because I want @BridgetChumbley to RT it.

@PuriChristos Remember what? Oh, you mean that writer guy that I used to be helping? He’s dead to me.

@godhasablog That explains @purichristos (in reply to: @PuriChristos Actually, I’m quite squeamish. I Created the really gross things because they’re vital to Life, but I kept my eyes closed.)

RT @InkPanther: I was in the middle of writing this tweet when Kanye started yelling at me that @katdish has better tweets. //Snort!

RT @godhasablog: @katdish Um…. ew. //What? They’re kosher…

I want a hot dog. Just thought I’d share that little tidbit of information. You’re welcome.

@billycoffey You wish…(in reply to: @BridgetChumbley @katdish sent me a DM and apologized profusely. Since I’m the forgiving sort, I let it slide.)

@sarahmsalter The neti pot is wonderful. Don’t be a hater…

Dear people sending me “get more followers instantly” tweets. Stop doing that please.

Me: Did you put the dog up on the stool? Daughter: I’m helping him conquer his fear of heights.

RT @llbarkat: @katdish lol, re: Brad’s poetic inspiration // I bet it was a good box wine.

Please do the EXACT OPPOSITE of whatever @PuriChristos says. Thank you, kind and wonderful followers whom I appreciate immensely.

@PuriChristos He will most likely never recover. (in reply to: @katdish @billycoffey must really feel bad for calling u evil now that that truth is out there)

@PuriChristos Sort of like Nicholas and Ridiculous? (in repy to: @katdish hmmm awesome rhymes with possum, yeah anone that was a child of the 80s should know that one. Awesome Possum.)

@BridgetChumbley Don’t worry, Bridget. I’ll talk to @billycoffey again when he makes a public apology & writes a book of my awesomeness.

RT @shrinkingcamel: Has anyone else noticed that “Possum” rhymes with “Awesome?” Cool, right? //Enjoying a bottle of wine tonite Brad?

@PuriChristos I left to get ice cream. @billycoffey left bc he knows I’m right. (in reply to: Where did the @katdish @billycoffey throwdown disappear to? someone said someone was evil and they weren’t apologizing cuz they are stubborn)

I’m going to get some icre cream….

RT @PuriChristos: @katdish u stole that from me but I stole it from someone else so I guess it’s ok //banjo tweet credit to Nick.

RT @billycoffey: @katdish YOU CAN’T QUIT ME KATDISH!!//You may commence groveling.

@billycoffey I’m sorry….I see your lips moving but all I can hear is banjo music…(in reply to: @katdish You wouldn’t say that if you weren’t evil.)

@BridgetChumbley Well, it was just fine until @billycoffey said I was evil. He’s dead to me…

RT @billycoffey: @katdish That’s because you’re evil. //You are so in trouble…

RT @PuriChristos: Sometimes I like to RT tweets that mention RTing. //Me too!

Sometimes I like to RT stuff that makes no sense unless you’re privy to the conversation.

RT @HerbieGookins: @katdish My friend had free eggplants. So I took two!

@HerbieGookins Why? Why would you do that? (in reply to: I’m going to attempt eggplant parmesan this evening. And I’ve never eaten eggplant before?? Oh well…)

RT @n8sant: The second tower falls at this moment, 8 years ago. #DoNotForget.

RT @n8sant: The first tower falls at this moment, 8 years ago. #DoNotForget.

@mylestones Ah, yes. My children always say please and thank you when they’re insulting me

@MattTCoNP Can’t get ANYTHING past me, can you?

RT @MattTCoNP: I know what ‘Stuff Christians Like’ is going to be about tomorrow. How do I know this…? //BC you’re guest blogging?

Follow @inkpanther because….Oh, just do it because I said so

@mylestones Aren’t they just adorable? When my daughter was 4, she would say, “Mom, would you please stop talking to me?”

Stuff Christians Like is high on the list of Top 100 Church Blogs! Numero (whatever the Spanish word for 4 is) Baybee! @prodigaljohn

And again…Sorry/You’re welcome.

To celebrate the fact that I’m still busy, I thought I would expound upon my post on Tuesday. Because you see, not only were there frigintastic comments about that dumb book “The Giving Tree”, there were also numerous other tangents and rabbit trails within the confines of the comments section. As a matter of fact, that comments section could provide me with blog fodder for the foreseeable future and beyond.

Of course, no one call pull off a tangent with quite the style and grace as my good friend Beth (aka @HerbieGookins). Here’s her comment from my post, The Creative Process: A Step by Step Guide. (Which if you haven’t read yet, you totally should.):

I missed out yesterday…This sign rules in so many ways. If I let other people see my laundry room, I would totally want one.

I have a box of socks.
Call me Dr. Seuss. When the box gets full and no one has clean socks anymore, I recruit my kids and call it the sock matching game. So far they haven’t caught on to the fact that they are helping me do a chore.

Incidentally, my mom came up with a great use for lonely socks. She took them to one of her writing classes and made her students make a puppet out of them and write about it. So someone out there has a sock puppet that used to be my dad’s sock. That’s weird.
I am nothing like my mother….

Thank you, Beth for that uh….Thank you, Beth!

Now, if you don’t know me very well, you may not know that I will employ just about any creative outlet in order to avoid doing laundry. It is my arch nemesis. Well, actually math is my arch nemesis, but laundry is a close second followed by balancing a checkbook. (Okay, not really – I never balance my checkbook. Who the heck writes checks anymore anyway?) But I digress…

When I read Beth’s comment, my creative/avoidance juices really started flowing. Ladies and Gentlemen, for you viewing pleasure I give you

Socks in the Box:

(And no, I can’t make you one. Like I said – I”M BUSY! Besides, the laundry is really starting to pile up…)