Katdish.net

This week, I read a few comments on a couple of blogs suggesting that Twitter is a waste of time. If you make it through all the tweets here, you will find a few tweets and RT’s concerning my friend Jason’s mom, who was rushed to the emergency room. Say what you will, there were an awful lot of prayers going up very quickly for Jason’s mom and her family. That is a very good thing, indeed. Okay – off my soapbox.

So…it occurrs to me those of you not on the twitter may not really “get” these posts. Honestly? I’m okay with that. These posts are primarily for my own amusement. (Hey, sort of like the twitter!) But just cuz I’m a giver, I’m going to post an entire conversation so you can follow along (You’re welcome.) Just to tell you, you need to read it from the bottom to the top, because I’m too lazy to move it all around and whatnot. Enjoy:

Me: @ofmercy Okay…turning off the twitter. Talk amongst yourselves…

Me: RT @billycoffey: @ofmercy I gotta say @katdish has made me who I am as a blogger. Just don’t tell her that.

Billy: @katdish Guess that one will make next Friday’s Twitter post, huh?

Jon:@billycoffey It will be our little secret… (@katdish – no listening in! ya hear!)

Jon: @katdish re: (You’re dead to me, Jon.) I know you don’t give up that easy…

Me: @ofmercy You’re dead to me, Jon.

Jon: @billycoffey Thanks; if I were a betting man re: U vs. @katdish – well, Billy has my vote… HA!

Me: @billycoffey @ofmercy Oh, stop! (Or not…)

Billy: @ofmercy I gotta say @katdish has made me who I am as a blogger. Just don’t tell her that.

Me: @ofmercy and speaking of me, did you know that @billycoffey writes a guest post on my blog every Monday. You should check it out.

Billy: @ofmercy You’re learning quick, Jon!

Me: @ofmercy Now you’re getting with the program!

Jon: @katdish You’re still the best!

Jon: @katdish Soooo forgot… it’s all about you! ;-P

Me: @ofmercy Yes, but enough about @billycoffey ‘s write up, we’re talking about roller hockey.

Billy: @ofmercy Wow, thank you. I really appreciate that!

Jon: @billycoffey I read your blog entry In Praise of Fathers. Outstanding! Thanks for that entry. I was moved… and AMEN!

Billy: @katdish Mmm-hmm. Thought so.

Me: @billycoffey Yeah, well…Okay. I’m not even gonna go there…

Billy: @weightwhat Low blow!

Wendy: @billycoffey – I don’t think so… She might even be wearing a blue shirt with a fancy emblem on it when she does it.

Billy: @weightwhat She would shrink from my manliness.

Wendy: @billycoffey – Bony or ashy, she’ll take you out.

Me: @billycoffey @weightwhat is totally making that up. I do not have bony elbows. They are a bit ashy right now, though…

Wendy: @billycoffey – Watch it! I hear @katdish has really boney elbows. She’ll definitely take you out!

Me: @billycoffey I bet you a dollar that is one sport I could beat you at. I’m a fairly awesome roller skater.

Billy: @katdish I could do me some roller derby.

Billy: @katdish @weightwhat Oh, come on! You two just don’t dig Michelle Pfeiffer. That’s some quality acting

Me: @billycoffey What @weightwhat said…

Billy: @weightwhat Yes, it’s her acting. Sheesh.

Wendy: @billycoffey – Are you sure it’s her acting you’re digging?

Me: @billycoffey @weightwhat Roller derby is also on…

Wendy:@billycoffey – I want you to pick up the remote and change the channel. I’m doing this for your own good. Surely Deadliest Catch must be on.

Wendy:@katdish – I think @billycoffey needs to be saved from himself.

Me: @weightwhat Twitter ho telepathy: ACTIVATE!

Wendy: @billycoffey – No.

Me: @billycoffey No, just you Billy…

Billy: Anyone else actually think that Grease 2 really isn’t that bad?
================================================

And now, the best of me (or not) on the twitter:

@Brian_Russell How about, “If it’s not one thing, it’s your mother?” Works for me.

@MichaelHyatt Feel free to quote me.

@asilannax Oh wait…@tremendousnews is already following you.

@asilannax Oh, man! Bring on the creepy followers after that tweet!

@marni71 Do I need to come up there and crack some skulls? I will, you know.

@Erinbeekeeper I suck at math, but even I can figure that one out.

RT @MarketerMikeE: “You’re boring. That’s why people are ignoring you.”– Seth Godin, marketing guru

The 2 preceding tweets were brought to you by my friend Sherri the smurf and twitter snob.

The extremely creative are usually very unsettled as it overshadows every aspect of life and others around them have no clue. – Sherri

I think the creativity w/in doesn’t really give us a choice. It’s always there & bursts through regardless of how we try to contain it.

If you’re not already, you should follow @asilannax She’s like me only funnier and younger.

@llbarkat You understand French? I’m impressed. It’s all Greek to me.

@marni71 Aw, bummer! You should get a girly pedicure. Works every time.

@Helenatrandom Thanks. Kinda like me – profound yet simple.

@weightwhat Yes, and we’re not even finished yet. Sometimes it sucks being me.

@weightwhat Thanks. I’m gonna need to be an extra low carb monster twitter ho today

@ofmercy I have friends that play instruments, but that doesn’t make me a musician. Just saying…

@br8kthru So glad to hear that. I’ve been praying, but a little worried, if I’m being honest.

Only 2 more hours to question @bryanallain ‘s masculinity!:

Decided to put mousse in my hair and let it air dry. Ann Wilson circa 1980 – Eat your heart out!

@weschicklit Thanks Chicky! One vote for incessant rambling

Serious post tomorrow or incessant rambling?

@katdish Bryan is dangerously close to being Brianne. Id be glad to take him under my wing, kind of like a Big Brother program, if he wants. (via @docawesome)

RT @chrissulli: Shameless self promotion? i learned from the best. http://bit.ly/2vQq1z New blog post

RT @PuriChristos: I use to love Disney but it was never intended to be visited with ur in laws. Much like heaven.

RT @tremendousnews: Oh, you de-greened your avatar? Cool. I guess freedom and hope is so “yesterday” for you.

@DocAwesome Do you think there’s any hope for @bryanallain ? I have my doubts.

I am going to start tweeting Matt’s FB status, so he’s on the twitter whether he likes it or not. (Insert evil laugh here.)

FB RT: Matt Appling can’t believe we have electricity so soon after that microburst snapped our utility poles in half.

@badbanana I was not aware that Ben Franklin ate hot wings or used the word ginormous. Your tweets are so educational!

@mabeswife No, glowing because it’s hotter than…whatever the hottest thing you can think of!
Still cleaning out the garage. I’m glowing, I tell ya! Glowing! (in a dirty, stinky, feel like I’m going to vomit sort of way.)

@bryanallain Oh, you’re so adorably manly when you talk ghetto, Bryan.

@BenArment You’ve probably been reading that pesky bible too much!

Okay, time to go sweat to death….

@annalisa2 You’re incredibly sarcastic. I dig that.

@mabeswife low carb monster, low carb monster, low carb monster & venti cafe americano.

@redclaydiaries The only time it’s not the heat of the day in Houston is at night.

@billycoffey Yes. I’m praying for @bryanallain in hopes that he gets his man card back. Not looking good, though.

@redclaydiaries I am looking forward to cleaning out the garage with my dh. Did that sound at all convincing?

@redclaydiaries I didn’t realize you needed an excuse to drink. Good morning!

Now following @spam. Hope it helps with all the skanky ho follows.

@xjkradicoolx Nah, her mouth is full.

Does ANYONE know where I file a complaint about a follower? Please? @hornygirl559, you are going DOWN! (and not like in your avatar!)

@redclaydiaries Oh, don’t sell yourself short, Steph. You’re plenty lame.

@redclaydiaries “Grocery store sushi is the best?” You really need to get out more, Steph!

This is REALLY starting to piss me off. And you don’t want to do that. Trust me.

Dear Twitter: Do you want to tell me how “Christian, working mom of 3″ has a lovely profile pic when I follow, only to go pornographic?

Does eating sushi lose some of its appeal when it’s purchased at the grocery store and eaten whilst making kids ham sandwiches?

@muchl8r Hey Jake! How’s my favorite cranky ho this morning?

@MarketerMikeE Okay, you know what would be funny? If one of those twitter robots RT’ed your last tweet.

RT @MarketerMikeE: Don’t automate anything. People are looking for something real. Don’t automate anything. People need authenticity.

Matt throws me (and twitter) under the bus. Please go rant incessantly on his blog. http://bit.ly/2gMnPP

We may not return the affection of those who like us, but we always respect their good judgment. – Libbie Fudim

@HerbieGookins Thanks, Beth. I didn’t need that.

@buzzbyannies Twitter potty mouth!

@buzzbyannies You are such a mean mom. You inspire me!

Good Morning, @HerbieGookins , wherever you are!

@CandySteele Please forgive all the typos in your comments section. Apparently, my “f” key is sticking.

RT @br8kthru Thanks for the prayers Mom is doing much better. We had to MedEvac to Anchorage she’s waiting on further tests. Thanks so much

Please welcome @Kenzi_Wilson , @buzzbyannies daughter to the Twitter! Now, when is Boz getting an account?

Has anyone heard from @br8kthru since yesterday?

Try that again: Matt @ The Church of No People is giving me grief about the twitter. Please go set him straight. http://bit.ly/2gMnPP

@buzzbyannies This could get ugly…

Well, I’ve had just about all the excitement I can stand for one day. Gotta go. Night!

RT @bryanallain: Want 250 brand new followers every day??? Take some Lunesta and dream about it, because it’s the only way it’s happening.

Dear Icky Followers: Please direct your friends to @weightwhat.

@weightwhat You know, if you were really committed to being an icky follower, you would spell out PCB.

@redclaydiaries You mean like monkey butts?

@redclaydiaries Yeah, get off the twitter, woman! (TWSS)

RT @tremendousnews: Twitter is over capacity! Nobody cares what level you’re at in Spymaster.

@tylerstanton There are a host of reasons you could be considered a slacker. Watching the open is just one.

Going for a swim with my daughter again. I gotta get me one of these fancy cement ponds at my house!

And when you have laboriously accomplished your daily task, go to sleep in peace. – Victor Hugo

Have courage for the great sorrows of life & patience for the small ones;

@Helenatrandom Even if you did copy katdish, it would be completely Helen. Which is why you are awesome.

RT @jewdacris4: i like salad (An economy for words)

@br8kthru Praying, Jason. Hang in there.

RT @br8kthru: My mom is going to the emergency room right now- don’t know exactly what’s going on. Would appreciate your prayers- thanks

@JeanneDamoff Um, yeah. I think that little chat the other night will make the twitter update.

@marni71 I’m sure it’s just a rash. Good morning!

@ofmercy Good morning Jon. I have forgiven you. I know you were holding your breath…

Is anyone else have trouble with the twitter this morning? (TWSS)

Hallloooo Twitter! I’ve missed you so!

Going to hear Vince Antonucci preach at Gateway in Austin this morning. How awesome is that?

Happy Father’s Day! Whose your daddy?

@PeterPollock Tell ya what. (I’m ignoring you, @billycoffey) If it’s up by midnight standard time, I’ll link it. If not, I’ll add it later.

@PeterPollock When are you gonna be done? I’ll link it tomorrow, cuz that’s what I’m doing tomorrow.

@billycoffey I meant besides Billy Coffey

@redclaydiaries You should probably pretend you don’t know me…

@redclaydiaries Yeah. Thanks. I’m sure publishing houses will be busting my doors down any day now.

@redclaydiaries Thanks, Steph. You’re no help at all, as usual.

Anyone write a really good Father’s Day post?

Sitting out by the pool with two very good manuscripts enjoying watching my daughter swim.

@buzzbyannies Look. I gotta go with my Asian roots on this one. Jet kicks butt! Yes, Chuck is from Texas, but still.

Bessie Higginbottom is one of my life coaches. Don’t judge me…

@Mels_World Are you kidding me? Half the population of suburbia is at Home Depot on Saturday morning. It’s the law.

@billycoffey Ah, yes. The preservation of your man card. We all have our crosses to bear…

@asilannax There’s no shame in knowing sappy song lyrics from the 70′s!

@asilannax I don’t know when. But we’ll get together then, son. You know we’ll have a good time then!

@asilannax and the cat’s in the cradle with a silver spoon, little boy blue and the man in the moon, when you coming home dad?

Excerpt from Duma Key by Stephen King:

How to Draw a Picture (Part 3)

Stay hungry. It worked for Michelangelo, it worked for Picasso, and it works for a hundred thousand artists who do it not for love (although that might play a part) but in order to put food on the table. If you want to translate the world, you need to use your appetites. Does this surprise you? It shouldn’t. There’s no creation without talent, I give you that, but talent is cheap. Talent goes begging. Hunger is the piston of art.

For those of you who are blessed (or cursed, depending on your perspective) with the desire to create, what drives that desire? What do you hunger for?

It is the ultimate luxury to be able to make a living doing something you love. Sure, there are parts of every job one might consider drudgery, but such is life.

As I’ve mentioned, I am a painter. And while I can’t say with a straight face that it’s a living, it is a job I love. While I certainly utilize my creativity in my work, most projects are hardly art. Murals are the exception to this, but they do not represent the majority of my work.

I often hear leaders in business and ministry stress that you should not take criticism or rejection personally. While I agree with that to a certain degree, I guess I’m hard wired to believe differently.

How can you pour your heart into a creative endeavor – writing, creating music, painting, poetry, etc., and then NOT take it personally when your work is criticized or rejected? Especially when it is rejected by the so called experts?

I’m learning only the bravest of souls dare to subject themselves to this type of abuse.

Hunger is indeed the piston of art.

I still don’t dare consider myself any type of serious writer, and my limited exposure to the world of publishing has temporarily put any personal aspirations on hold. But then I remember one of my favorite quotes, and it gives me a bit of courage. Hope it does the same for you.

“What you really have to do, if you want to be creative, is to unlearn all the teasing and censoring that you’ve experienced throughout your life. If you are truly a creative person, you know that feeling insecure and lonely is par for the course. You can’t have it both ways: You can’t be creative and conform, too. You have to recognize that what makes you different also makes you creative.”

- Arno Penzias, 1978 Nobel Prize winner for physics

I’m sure many of you fine readers often ask yourself, “How does katdish get all these incredibly good writers to guest blog for her?” The answer? I HAVE NO IDEA! Seriously, I keep asking, and people keep saying yes. It’s as simple as that. I’m actually pretty astounded myself. It just goes to show you – no risk it, no biscuit. Or something like that…

Many of you may know Bryan from his many guest blog appearances on Jon Acuff’s site, Stuff Christians Like. While I’ve always enjoyed his writing over there, you really need read Bryan’s blog to get a glimpse inside his head – a strange and wonderful place. Anyhoo, enough of me, here’s Bryan:

When Kathy asked me to write a guest post for her site I was honored. I wanted to write a post that represented myself and my readers well to the you, the fine patrons of her blog, so I tried to think of a topic that would make me look impressive. Something that convinced you that I was a responsible, amazing man.

Well, that was about 6 weeks ago and I haven’t come up with anything yet.

So instead, I’m going the other way. The reality is, I’m an incredibly flawed doofus. And of all the things I like poking fun at, I enjoy poking fun at myself the most. Truth is, I’m not an amazing man. In fact, I’m not even sure I’m a man anymore. Want proof?

Here’s 7 (of the many) reasons why, if Man Cards were real, I might not be carrying one…

I Have No HandyMan Skills

I’ve got a father-in-law who built houses for a living, a brother-in-law who helped built his own house, and a dad who can do just about anything around the house that needs to be done. How did I end up like this? I don’t know. But thankfully my father-in-law is only 10 minutes away in case a picture needs to be hung or a door needs to be fixed. (I wish I was kidding.)

You know how much help I was to my father-in-law when he was building my deck? Negative help, that’s how much. He literally had to undo a bunch of the stuff I did on the first day. After that, I just watched and fetched him drinks. Completely embarrassing.

I Hate Hide & Seek (aka, Manhunt)

Want to know why I hate Hide and Seek? Because I hate hiding and I hate seeking. Pretty simple.

Think about it, when does hiding and seeking happen in real life? When cops are chasing bad guys. When bad guys are chasing other bad guys. When a child is about to be disciplined and disappears. You get the idea. The whole concept of hiding is that you don’t want to be found, but eventually you will be found when you play this game. Sounds terrible to me.

And for the record, we played manhunt on the streets of my neighborhood almost every night in the summer growing up. I hated it.

I Know Nothing About Cars

I’ve got no opinion on Ford vs. Chevy. I don’t know or care how many cylinders are in my minivan. (I drive a minivan!) I don’t know what the brown fluid on my garage floor under my car is.

Want more?

I don’t have a dream car. I think loud engines are annoying. I once spent hours in the library reading about what carburetors and overhead cams were just to impress a girl I liked. Didn’t work.

I Hate Paint Ball

You know how I hate Hide and Seek? Well here’s a math equation to define what paint ball is. Paint Ball = (Hide & Seek) + (Pain).

Ooh! Ooh! Where do I sign up?

I played paint ball once. It was my worst nightmare. My goggles were fogging up so I couldn’t see anything. I was hiding. There were lots of people seeking me. Those same people were trying to inflict pain on me. I decided to let myself get shot in a relatively painless area and get off the playing field as soon as I could. I ended up getting shot in the neck from 10 feet out.

Never again.

I Like To Talk Things Out

If my lovely wife Erica and I ever have a disagreement (yes it happens…shocker!), I’m usually the one who makes the stronger push for communication. Don’t misunderstand here, she is a great communicator. I’m just over the top nuts about it. I love talking about how I feel. Maybe it’s because I’m a writer and I like putting words to good use? I don’t know. But if there’s an issue that needs discussing, I turn into a freaking Lifetime movie.

Please pray for her, that I’d learn to just shut up and watch TV once in a while.

I Have Girl Parts

Just Kidding. Wanted to make sure you weren’t skimming.

I’ve Never Been in a Fight

Unlike my buddy Nate, who once beat up 3 guys at one time in front of a club in Providence, RI, I’ve never taken or thrown a punch. Closest I’ve come is skirmishes with my younger brother Josh growing up, but those don’t really count. Although, when Josh and I did fight, he’d usually try to punch and I’d try to rake the eyes. Not very manly.

If we ever cross each other and it’s time to throw down, just promise me we can try to settle our differences verbally before we resort to barbaric methods like fighting. And if we do end up fighting, you better protect your eyes.

So, what about y’all?

Guys, any reasons you’re Man Card might be in jeopardy? I can’t be the only one here.

Or how about the ladies? Anything you do that threatens the security of your Woman Card? Maybe one of you deserves to have my Man Card.

P.S….you can read Bryan’s daily musings on Twitter or at his blog, Ramblings and Such. (I highly recommend it.)

For those of you who read this blog on a regular basis, you may know that I was in Austin this weekend visiting my dad. All you cool kids following me on Twitter may also know that I visited Gateway Community Church on Sunday. But not to see John Burke. I went to see super duper pastor and church planter extraordinaire Vince Antonucci.

Not only is Vince a great verbal communicator, he is also author of one of my favorite books ever. For the six of you who have been reading my blog for awhile, this will be a rerun, but since I have some new readers, I wanted to share one of my favorite stories from the book.

Excerpt from: I became a Christian and all I got was this lousy t-shirt: Replacing Souvenir Religion with Authentic Spiritual Passion, by Vince Antonucci

Even though I had become a Christian, even though I was preaching sermon after sermon on the topic, still I couldn’t feel like I was the one Jesus loves, and it held me back from living a life with him.

I continued to wrestle with the question: how could Jesus love me when I knew I wasn’t worth loving?

Finally, the answer came out. Actually, the answer came down, again, from my mom’s attic.

We were visiting my mother, who would soon be moving from our old house into a condo. She informed us that we’d be leaving with with a bunch of stuff she had been saving for me. Soon it all came down — Legos, matchbox cars, books and…a teddy bear. It was my teddy bear, from when I was little. It was a mess. Years earlier, my mother had sewn an ear back on. She had done reconstructive surgery on its neck and back. It was missing fur around its eyes, on both feet, and on his back by the little music handle. It had a big scar across its head. The cutest thing was the four little pieces of fur missing from where my four fingers used to hold it constantly. My finger marks had become permanently embedded in my bear.

When I was little, I loved this bear. I carried it everywhere. My mother would turn the music handle and it would make music, bad music, but I would move in tight and that music would comfort me and lull me to sleep.

I loved this bear, but there was nothing lovable, nothing valuable about the bear itself. Even when it was new it was obviously not an expensive stuffed animal. It probably cost a few dollars at the time. If you tried to sell it at a garage sale today you might ask for a quarter. It’s just not valuable, except that it is to me, and especially back when I was a kid.

I loved this bear. But I didn’t love it because it was valuable. I loved it because…I loved it. I loved it because it was my bear. My love was not based on its value, rather my love made this bear valuable. My love gave this bear significance. When I was a kid, you could have offered me a vacation to Disney World and I wouldn’t have traded my bear for it. If my parents had held a yard sale back then and asked me how much we should sell my bear for, I would have said a million dollars…and that wouldn’t have been enough. They would have said, “Well, silly, it only cost us a couple of dollars, and it’s gotten really beat up since then.” I would have said, “I don’t care. I won’t sell it. It’s my bear and I love him.”

And finally I understood how Jesus could love me when I wasn’t worth loving.

I realized that the love I had for my bear is essentially the same kind of love God has for me. It’s not a love that loves because the object of the love is valuable; it’s a love that gives value.

God knew me. He knew what I was worth in the beginning, he knew the damage that had been done to me over the years, he knew my current condition. But the most significant thing God knew about me was that I was his. I may have been beat up, pulled out of shape, ripped, and left with the stuffing hanging out, but I was his. I may not have looked like much to anyone else, but I was his. And so he loved me. And his love gave me value, significance and importance.

Now, I have to admit, I still struggle with this sometimes. Because it’s not just realizing that I’m loved. It’s living it. It’s abiding in Jesus, in his love, moment by moment. And I have good days and bad when it comes to living in his love. It’s like I constantly need reminders….

Well, other people may have told you that you’re not worth much, but the truth is that God wouldn’t trade you for anything. In fact, when he set the price tag on you, it was his Son.

And you may be torn and broken. You may still bear the marks of deep wounds. But God is a master at reconstructive surgery.

And perhaps, because of all of this, you have difficulty connecting with God. You feel like your prayers bounce back at you off the ceiling. At church others sing out worship songs, but you struggle to, not necessarily because you have a bad voice, but because the words come from a bad heart. And so you’re sure that to God, it’s bad music. But no, when God hears you, he moves in tight.

You know why? Because you are his. Because since the beginning of your life, you have belonged to him. He shaped you in your mother’s womb and his finger marks are permanently embedded in you.

You are the one Jesus loves.

For more information about Vince’s book, go here. I personally ordered a case, and gave them out to lots and lots of folks. Vince is also planting a church on the Vegas Strip called Verve.

If you are so inclined, I would highly recommend you send them large sums of cash. In my opinion, Vince really “gets it” when it comes to loving people the way Jesus commanded us to. Plus, he was wearing this really awful blue shirt with patches all over it. The guy needs a new wardrobe…

In case you missed Part One of this story, you can find it here: The Bench, Part 1 of 2.

And now for the eagerly awaited conclusion to the story:

I smiled, satisfied that I had answered her questions and fulfilled my duty. I could send her off to her father now and have my bench to myself.

But Jordan wasn’t finished.

“Where are your wings?” she asked.

“In my pocket,” I answered.

“Can I see them?”

“No.”

“Are Adam and Eve sorry?”

“Yes, and God forgave them.”

“Is Jonah afraid of fish?”

“Not anymore.”

“How old is God?”

“Really, really old.”

“Does He have dreams when He sleeps?”

“No.”

“Why not?”

“Because God doesn’t sleep.”

“God doesn’t sleep?”

“No.”

“Not ever?”

“Not ever.”

“Why?”

“Because He’s busy watching over you.”

“Why does He watch over me?”

“Because God loves you and He wants to keep you safe.”

“Then why did He let my mommy die?”

My mouth, open and ready to fire off another automatic answer, suddenly became very dry.

“What?”

Jordan looked up to me then, her legs still. Tears began to pool in her little eyes. “I said if God loves me and wants to keep me safe, then why did He let my mommy die?”

She sniffled, then reached into her pocket and pulled out a tissue. She swiped at the tears trickling down her cheeks and waited for an answer. I had none. This was not a child’s question. This was an adult question. Serious stuff.

Why? It was a question I still asked myself, and often. A question I still often asked God, too.

Why does the world have to be so bad? Why do the innocent have to suffer? Why must good people have nothing and bad people have everything and why does it have to be that way? And now I could add another to the list: why would God take a mother away from her little girl?

Because bad things happened in this life, and to everyone. That was the easy answer. The world was a hard place. No one lived happily ever after. And no matter how wise we became, we would always leave with more questions than answers.

But how could I tell Jordan that?

My lips moved, but no words came. I knew this was one of those moments in Jordan’s life where she found herself at a fork in the road. One path led to healing. The other led to bitterness. And whatever I said next may well be the very words that pushed down either the one or the other.

I had gotten into this situation out of the goodness of my heart. I had no ill intentions, only concern. But this, this was too much for me. I couldn’t lie anymore. It was time to tell Jordan the truth. I owed her that much.

“Jordan?” I said.

She sniffled and wiped her nose. “What?”

“I’m not an angel.” I spat the words out as quickly as I could and readied myself for what would happen next. Tears, of course. Maybe a tantrum. Both of which would be completely justified.

But there was only silence. Finally, Jordan said, “I thought maybe you weren’t.”

“You did?” I asked.

She pointed to my hat. “Daddy says God hates the Yankees.”

I chuckled. She managed a weak grin, and then her steadfast countenance crumbled in a fit of tears. I wrapped my arms around her and she huddled into the crook of my shoulder and gently rocked her as she sobbed.

We sat for a long while on the bench, our bench, and looked out over the river. The ducks arrived, and we both took turns tossing bits of bread to them as they quacked and fought for each chunk.

I told Jordan that I didn’t know why God took her mother away, but that He must have had a very good reason, because He always does, and one day she would find out. “In the meantime,” I said, “your mom still loves you and she’s in a good place. The best place.”

When all the bread was gone and the ducks had waddled off, Jordan said it was time for her to be going. She thanked me, gave me another hug, and assured me that she felt better. I knew she didn’t. But I also knew that one day she would. I watched her walk toward the bridge that led across the river and to the soccer field and the houses beyond.

“See ya,” she said from the bridge.

“See ya.”

And she was gone.

I remained there for a long while, watching the river flow by. Jordan and I had a lot in common, I decided. Both of us were sitting in a big, dark room full of questions. Right in front of us was a window, and streaming through that window was the light of truth, all the answers to all the questions we could ever ask. But over that window was the shade of time, drawn tight.

As we both grew, learning and living more, that shade would ease up a little here and there and shed some light on the things that bother us so. We both want that shade out of the way. We want to see the whole view from that window, the whole truth. But, you see, if that shade were pulled up all at once, and all the truth shone through in an instant, we would be blinded by the light.

One day, I expect I will see Jordan again. Perhaps along some street paved in gold, beside a crystal sea. She will introduce me to her mother and I will thank her for bringing such a beautiful girl into the world.

And then Jordan and I will sit down on a bench and share all the answers we know, and we will laugh.

To read more from Billy Coffey, please visit him at What I Learned Today

I’m in Austin this weekend. Soaking in the sun by the pool, reading some good books and hanging out with the family. We’re at my dad’s house for the weekend. Today is Father’s Day, and rather than trying to write something on the fly, I thought I would invite you to visit Billy Coffey’s blog, and read his post, In Praise of Fathers, and Peter Pollock’s post, Happy Father’s Day I realize many of you who read my blog also read theirs, but just in case. I didn’t want you to miss it. I would also ask that you join with me in remembering all those dads who can’t be with their families because they are serving in the armed services. For a glance at what life is like for the families waiting for their return, please visit The Reluctant Homefront. A thank you for her sacrifice would be nice, too. No pressure, though.

Happy Father’s Day to my dad and all the dads out there. Hope it’s a good one.

When I decided to do a question and answer session, I never thought people would ask real questions. It’s been a little exhausting talking about myself so much. (Shut up, Steph!) This is the final installment of my three part series. The fact that I actually completed a series is a big deal in itself. If you missed the first two installments, you can find them here: Part One and here: Part Two

Now, on with the countdown…

Tony C asked…
What TV character best depicts the real Katdish?

Well, since he now appears on Nickelodeon, I would have to say King Julian from Madagascar.

Steph @Red Clay Diaries asked…
Wow! The chance to ask questions of the Great Katdish. (rubs hands together, mumbling to self)

1. So we all know you’re this amazing social media darling/Twitter Ho. I’m just wondering what brilliant person introduced you to Twitter. That person needs thanking. And cash.

That would be my ever so humble friend Steph at the Red Clay Diaries, who guilted me into getting a Twitter account. Feel free to heap praises and/or burning coals upon her head.

2. When are you gonna change the blog name? And will it be to Hey Look a Shiny Vampire? Or Hey Look a Monkey Butt?

No plans to change the blog name. Although… “Hey Look a Twitter Ho” has a nice ring to it.

3. If you got offered a book deal, what would you write about?

A book deal? Let’s see…I would probably write a scathing review of how if you’re a shameless self promoter or a famous person, publishers want you to write something – anything – even if you don’t even write it yourself. Meanwhile, there are tons of incredibly gifted writers with a story to tell out there trying to get a book deal with little to no success. I would write a book about how incredibly unfair that is, and how people are hungry for a good story – not a bunch of blowhards talking about how wonderful they are. (Not that I’ve given this much thought.) Who the heck would ask me to write a book? I’m willing to entertain any and all offers, BTW.

4. Do you think Peter P actually HAS a life, or does he make a career of being first commenter and commenting “First comment”?

I’m gonna let you take that one up with Peter P.

The Homefront asked…
Oooo, this should be an interesting post!

Thanks, I hope so.

How do you find the time to do so much blogging and Twittering?

It’s really a matter of priorities. Horribly, misdirected priorities. Actually, I’m quite the multi-tasker. I stay close to home most of the time, so I read blogs, answer emails, etc. on my blackberry while I’m waiting in carpool, etc. At home, I dash to the computer between loads of laundry or not cleaning house. I write at night when everyone else is asleep. I’m sort of vampirish that way. I’m getting twitter on my blackberry soon. Be afraid…be very afraid.

Do you often find yourself Twitterpated?

Seriously? Are you following me on Twitter?

Which teen phenomenon is better: Twilight or Harry Potter, and why?

I really liked Twilight, but I have to go with Harry Potter hands down. Why? Because in the end, good triumphs over evil and Love wins. Just as it should be.

In a fight who would win: Chuck Norris or Jet Li?

No offense to Chuck Norris, but Jet Li. No question.

How cool is Jack Nicholson?

Jack Nicholson is very cool, in a slightly creepy, smells like stale cigarettes and aspercreme, old man sort of way.

Why, oh, why did you leave Virginia for the wilds of Texas?

Not by choice. My dad was transferred, so I came unwillingly. Having said that, Texas is a wonderful place. The weather in my neck of the woods totally sucks, but the people here are fantastic. It’s my adopted home. I can’t say I would never leave, because God has a pretty good sense of humor, and as soon as I say something like that, I’ll probably have to move to Oklahoma.

Stacey asked…
What kind of books do you like to read and what’s your favorite book ever?

I love a good story. I’ve read tons of novels and mysteries. I read quite a bit of non-fiction books on faith and Christianity. Favorite book ever? Wow. That’s a tough one. I don’t think I could give you just one, so I’ll give you a few:

Where the Wild Things Are, The Box Car Children, The Cat ate my Gymsuit, The Ragamuffin Gospel, The Reason For God, The Harry Potter Series, The Chronicles of Narnia Series, Gone With The Wind, The Green Mile, Duma Key, Liesy’s Story, (okay – pretty much anything by Stephen King) Watchers, I Became a Christian and all I got was this Lousy T-shirt, and a yet to be published book that I happen to be reading right now. I’ll let you know when it’s published…

Also, if you could travel to anywhere, where would you go?

Australia, New Zealand, or a remote island somewhere (fully staffed, of course).

And finally, what’s your favorite Kool aid flavor?

Well NOT the Apple Computer Kool-Aid, that’s for sure. Hmmm….Wild Berry.

Billy Coffey said…
You’d better be careful how you answer Homefront’s Chuck Norris vs. Jet Li question. Very careful. Your honorary man card depends upon it.

I’m sure you’ll let me know either way.

Annie K said…
What makes you cry?

Oh, you just HAD to go there didn’t you, Annie? True confession time – I am extremely tender-hearted. Lots of things make me cry. I swear I can’t watch that Mean Joe Green Coca Cola commercial without tearing up a little. Injustice and unfairness makes me angry, unless I am helpless to change it. Then it makes me cry. Suffering makes me cry, especially when children suffer. So, yes – I’m a big crybaby. Physical pain doesn’t make me cry, emotional pain does. Happy? Sheesh!

JML asked…
HOly Crap! People asked good questions. I’m not good at this game, so I suppose I’ll sort of go along Billy’s train of thought and not only ponder about what you want out of life but also, what did you/do you want to be when you grow up? Did you ever go to school for anything? and would you please tell me where you hid the beer!

I suppose I want what everyone else wants out of life. I want to be happy, but I’ll take joy any day of the week. I hope I never grow up, I’m enjoying being incredibly immature. After high school, I went to a vocational school to train to be (hold on to your hats, people) a secretary/accounting analyst. Yeah, PERFECT for me, huh? I got a job working for a major oil company after graduation, and used my wily charms to make people believe that I actually knew what I was doing. I took some additional college courses, but never graduated. I know I should want to, but I really don’t have any desire to do so. (Shhh…don’t tell my kids that.) I am a self taught painter. I think at this point any classes would interrupt my painting mojo. I’m sure I do everything wrong. I hid the beer on the twitter.

God said…
Dear Katdish,

Am I the ‘famous person who reads your blog but never comments’ you were referring to?

Love,

God

Umm….well you should know.

Beth asked…
So where are all the answers??? Get your booty off the lake and come answer our silly questions.

Beth – You’re not the boss of me!

sherri asked…
Here’s my question: I’ve decided to redecorate one of my boy’s old bedrooms and convert it into a nice guestroom (so my blog pals can be pampered when they all come to visit).I’ve decided on a beach theme because I just returned from the beach and I must say I was inspired. Anyway, I don’t like the “Novelty” beach look, just hints, here and there, and I want it to be lighter greens, blues, tans (like Fort Walton Beach and Destin.)

Now, to the question part:Will you fly here and decorate it for me if I pamper you afterwards and you can be the first guest? Huh? Huh? Watta’ say?*Note: I’m broke, so I can’t pay you, but I will supply all the materials, cook for you, entertain you while you’re here , show you all the sites and I’ll throw in a pair of stilettos!Think about it, and get back to me.

Yes. Of course I will help you. I wouldn’t take money from you Sherri. I know you have clearance shoes to buy, and you should probably keep some bail money handy in case you ever get arrested for shoplifting.

God’s Not Finished With Us Yet… asked…
Hey, I wanna play! I know I’m commin’ in kinda late to the game so this question may already have been asked “How did you come up with ‘Katdish’ as your nickname?” Maybe I asked you this before; not sure. ;D Also, what is your favorite all time dessert? No reason, just sheer curiosity as I have a late night snack on my pecan pie…

My maiden name is Kathy Dishman. I’ve been called katdish for as long as I can remember (among other things that I won’t go into here). It is rather catchy, isn’t it? Favorite dessert? Depends on my mood. Either brownies a’la mode or a banana pudding recipe that my friend Karla gave me years ago. It. Is. GOOD!

Alright folks. All this honesty and straight forward talk is giving me a rash. Gotta go get on the twitter now…

Big, huge news! My geeky church planter friend Beth, who goes by the name @HerbieGookins (?), finally caved and is on the twitter. We’re all very excited! Helen has found her twitter ho gift in hash tagging #nicerfilmtitles, and people are turning their avatars green to support Iran whist @tremendousnews makes fun of them. I also made a lame attempt to tweet haikus, which was a miserable failure. Sorry. I know this is really long, just stop reading when your eyes start to bleed:

Beginning with favorite tweets submitted by a few of my twitter pals:

From my geeky church planter Beth on her way to Twitter Ho-dom:
1. Side by side laptops on the couch. Are we geeky or what?
2. Time to say hello to the sun while it’s still here. Herbie Gookins out, yo.
3. @marni71 Thanks. Did I just do that right? And who doesn’t enjoy typing “HerbieGookins”?
4. I see how it is. My Mom and Katdish tweeting about me behind my back. You are both so busted. Once I figure this blessed thing out…grrr
5. I have no idea what I’m doing. Obviously.
6. New to twitter. Learning, learning.

From Jason:
br8kthru: I can’t convince someone that something is worthwhile & valuable. All I can do is share my experience & lead by example.

br8kthru: Bed is calling me. It keeps calling me Beatrice, which is weird but I’m going anyway. Goodnight!

@katdish there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus- sadly, I must condemn you ’cause laughing cow is nasty.

From @weightwhat (Wendy):
No brothers in my family. We called boy parts “What the heck is that thing?!”

@katdish – I follow people who I find to be intellectually stimulating, people who can challenge my thinking and cause me to grow. And you.

RT @katdish @CandySteele I refuse to emote! I won’t do it, I tell ya! I won’t! ) (*snort*)

@katdish – And now I’ll throw my head back and laugh maniacally! Muahahaha!

@katdish – It’s Beach Blogger Billy! Man, I hope they come out with the action figure soon.

From @marni71: (who misunderstood my question, obviously and sent me other people’s tweets)

WE GOT BETH TO CAVE? Is there no end to our powers? Look out Matt, you’re next…muahahahahah

I need WD-40. My office chair is making some icky noises…and I don’t want others to think it’s me

@Jess_Hays I AM the po po ho, fool!

From @helenatrandom:
@buzzbyannies You know, like “satan”. cubs = satan….

@buzzbyannies I am not actually giving cubs the middle finger. Just the middle finger of grammar: not capitalizing their name!

Place Mamma Away from the Rear of the Train Gently Onto the Tracks #nicerfilmtitles

*Note: @jewdacris4 either sent me some and I lost them, or we talked about him sending me some and it never happened…I forget. It’s really late. So send them to me and I’ll add them, dude.

And now for my incessant ramblings. Again…sorry. Feel free to quit reading and run screaming from your computer.

1. RT @br8kthru: I love puns & love this: Next time you’re asked, “Paper or Plastic?” justsay, “Doesn’t matter to me. I’m bi-sacksual.”
2. Okay, seriously. I may have to devote my entire twitter update to @herbiegookins getting on the twitter!
3. RT @HerbieGookins: I have no idea what I’m doing. Obviously. YAY!
4. @herbiegookins – Get on the twitter so we can talk to you! Facebook is dead!
5. @Helenatrandom No. You have to use reverse psychology on her. Tell her not to. She’s fairly stubborn that @herbiegookins
6. @marni71 We are strong. We are invincible. We are twitter hos.
7. LET THE HEAVENS AND EARTH DECLARE: BETH HAS CAVED! FOLLOW HER! @herbiegookins
8. RT @marni71: @Helenatrandom Yeah, I couldn’t think of anything that rhymed with pretentious..ooh wait, this just in…contentious.
9. @Helenatrandom I’ve had over 100 FB inbox items before. My strategy? Ignore them.
10. Stomach is bothering me this morning. Probably should have passed up the pork tar-tar last night…
11. @PuriChristos You cain’t quit us Nick! You wish you could, but you cain’t!
12. Non-creepy followers! Please follow @marni71 She is wicked awesome funny, & if you don’t I’m not so sure we can be friends anymore.
13. @JennCallingHome Thanks! I checked out your blog & decided to refollow, despite your creepy brown avatar…
14. @Brian_Russell Well, forget it. You can’t make me drink the Microsoft Kool-Aid!
15. RT @badbanana: Another hot, humid day ahead. Once again, I bet I’ll be the only one at work smart enough to wear a beer hat.
16. RT @CandySteele: Pants are pinned shut and I’m wearing my husband’s socks. GQ cover material or pink fuzzy man card material?
17. @buzzbyannies Have a great day! I’ll be especially lazy and unmotivated in your absence.
18. @shrinkingcamel Okay, what is Bing? (besides Crosby and cherry).
19. @Helenatrandom It looks to me as you’re saying, “How-dee-do, cubbies! You just got pwoned!”
20. @xjkradicoolx Good luck with not being a grumpy ho today, of course!
21. @buzzbyannies @CandySteele What is this? Farmer Thursday on the twitter?
22. RT @tylerstanton: Never has an iPhone upgrade made me feel more average. Thanks 3.0!
23. @buzzbyannies Because it’s the home of the armadillo, with the friendliest people & the prettiest women you’ve ever seen.
24. @speaktruthtoyou I spell it “kewl”. And you’re not the boss of me!
25. @prodigaljohn The sad part about the whole “bring my cardboard breakdance mat” statement is that you probably actually have one.
26. I support the whole green avatar thing, but seriously – I would look like broom hilda if I did that. Yeah, I’m vain like that…
27. @CandySteele I yam what I yam. At least I don’t pretend I’m humble. That’s incredibly annoying
28. FB RT: Jeremy Peterson if you haven’t tried tweetdeck for the iphone, check it out! (Kool Aid! He drank the kool aid!)
29. @prodigaljohn It takes a man secure in his masculinity to openly admit that on the twitter.
30. @Brian_Russell Katdish coffee mugs.
31. @alliebaldwin You really like shopping at the walmarts don’t you?
32. @chrissulli Wow. Who knew anyone listened to me?
33. One of the disadvantages of living in a warm climate is that I do not own a snow shovel, which makes cleaning my daughter’s room difficult.
34. @LevelTen_Colin Oh my goodness! I totally do all of those. I must be some kind of bloggy prodigy or something.
35. @jerdavcpa Ah, yes…Math – my arch nemesis!
36. RT @badbanana: Nearly 60% won’t graduate from one Chicago school. But that still means 80% will, so stop picking on public schools.
37. RT @Helenatrandom: Too bad @PuriChristos is busy…he’d love this one…. Dial M for Monkeybutt #nicerfilmtitles
38. RT @tremendousnews: #nicerfilmtitles The Devil Wears Moderately-Priced Shoes Bought From The Outlet Off I-35.
39. RT @tremendousnews: #nicerfilmtitles Meet Joe African-American
40. @chrissulli Well, SNAP OUT OF IT! All better?
41. @Helenatrandom @marni71 “pickle” just saying…
42. RT @weightwhat: @Helenatrandom said “boy parts”… heh heh
43. @Helenatrandom I think you’ve found your special purpose in life!
44. RT @Helenatrandom: Place Mamma Away from the Rear of the Train Gently Onto the Tracks #nicerfilmtitles
45. Intellectually stimulating group of twitter friends this morning! @helenatrandom, @weightwhat, @marni71, @br8kthru, @redclaydiaries
46. @Helenatrandom Twitter Ho Fire, Baby!
47. RT @Helenatrandom: Good Will Catch and Release #nicerfilmtitles
48. @marni71 I need to make sure I put that on my Friday update so Sharkbait the twitter snob can blush.
49. RT @Helenatrandom: My Big Pleasantly Plump Greek Wedding #nicerfilmtitles
50. Wonderful Wacky Wednesday!: @redclaydiaries and her obscene amount of laundry baskets.
51. RT @buzzbyannies: @katdish You’re like the pied piper of ho’s on twitter. Creepy. (Aw, thanks Annie. Love you too!)
52. RT @tremendousnews: #nicerfilmtitles The Gently-Sobbing Game: Because She’s Not Really A Dude In This One, Just Really High Maintenance.
53. Good Morning! My entire Replies Column is full of Wacky Wednesday shout outs. Thank you, and I’m sorry!
54. @billycoffey You haven’t been published because you never had proper nasty pimp representation until now.
55. Yeah, @tremendousnews ! Why you gotta be hating on @xjkradicoolx grampa like that?
56. @loswhit Hey, Los. Will you follow me so I can pretend your @CHRIS_Daughtry? Thanks.
57. @CandySteele You’re so lawsome!
58. Okay, I’ll stop. No restraining orders, please.
59. You know what? I think @CHRIS_Daughtry is just playing hard to get. He digs me. I know he does.
60. I can’t help myself. I swear I will RT anything @tremendousnews says.
61. RT @tremendousnews: Out of the box thinking: A Tiny URL that shrinks Tiny URLs. Angel investors? DM me
62. @bloggerservice thank you. did you miss the “I won’t pay you but I will owe you a solid part”?
63. @kizabrat that would explain the strange following after an excessive amount of monkey butt tweets.
64. RT @asilannax: That excessively white kid driving down White Blvd blaring Kanye West? I’m sorry.
65. AHEM! Would anyone like to redesign my blog? I won’t pay you, but I would owe you a solid.
66. @billycoffey Hush. You’re interrupting my mojo.
67. @weightwhat @Helenatrandom That’s okay. I see how you are…
68. @CandySteele @redclaydiaries Are you people seriously talking about salad? Sheesh!
69. @PuriChristos That comment was freaking AWESOME!
70. @weightwhat You did NOT just add a smiley face to the end of my tweet! ARGH!
71. @CandySteele I refuse to emote! I won’t do it, I tell ya! I won’t!
72. @PeterPollock Yes, well my point is, I sort of like people to read my blog. I know, it’s an ego thing…
73. RT @tylerstanton: Our new phone books just arrived. I’ve never been less excited about anything.
74. @CandySteele So sad. I am so very sad @CHRIS_Daughtry refuses to follow me. (I’m tempted to use an emoticon here, but I have my pride)
75. @CandySteele Oh, that hurt! Why won’t @CHRIS_Daughtry follow me? I’m so sad…(I’m going for pathetic, pulling out all the stops.)
76. @tremendousnews Check you link, there’s nothing there. (that’s what she said)
77. @PeterPollock Hmm…sounds interesting. I’m not sure how many of my readers actually read books, though…
78. @myapronstrings Thanks. That was not at all helpful.
79. Just checked facebook account. I have 40 items in my in box. Will continue to practice avoidance.
80. @PeterPollock Do you get free books? People need to send me free books. I would totally owe them a solid!
81. FB RT: Jeremy Peterson is ready for iphone 3.0 software to release tomorrow. (He’s drank the kool-aid folks!)
82. This just in: @CHRIS_Daughtry is still not following me on twitter.
83. Okay Twitter – gotta go be someone’s worst nightmare at the pedicure place!
84. @SUPERkevo Dude, your tweets are short yet explanatory. Yeah, I’ll follow…
85. @PeterPollock Kidding, of course…
86. @PeterPollock Excessive use of exclamation points. Unfollow.
87. @br8kthru But did you have to count with your fingers? I totally have to do that.
88. @mabeswife I know, it’s craptastic huh?
89. Have you noticed yet/My tweets are in haiku form/They’re sucktacular!
90. @br8kthru Okay, how’s this: I ate chex mix and laughing cow cheese for breakfast.
91. RT @stretchmarkmama: If I could just find a way to route the coffee pot through the shower head, I might actually ENJOY this morning.
92. @Helenatrandom What doesn’t remind you of a joke, Helen?
93. RT @KevinMartineau: Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength; loving someone deeply gives you courage. Lao Tzu
94. @Flauxers That’s why I never travel anywhere by donkey.
95. Dear New York Times: What were you thinking?!? http://bit.ly/19j0xY
96. Yeah…I went there.
97. @AuthorTech Who decides who is relevant and who is not? That makes me throw up in my mouth a little.
98. @marni71 Yeah, so my daughter sings: We are honky, honky for you. Which in the case of our church, was highly appropriate.
99. @marni71 Do you know the song “Fuel”? We are yearning, we are burning, were hungry, hungry for you?
100. Red Clay Diaries/Why you be hatin’ on me?/It’s still early yet.
101. @redclaydiaries Look, I’m working on it. It’s hard to type and count on your fingers at the same time.
102. A very special song dedication for @pwilson boys. Crank it up! (Jump, Jump by Kris Kross)
103. @pwilson Don’t mention it…
104. Dear @pwilson boys: JUMP, JUMP, JUMP on the bed! Daddy loves that!
105. Responses will not/be in haiku form because/I am not that bright
106. Goodnight dear twitter/It’s time to hit the pillow/more haiku tweets soon/
107. @PeterPollock You were not the first commenter. Sucks for you…11:22 PM Jun 15th from TweetDeck in reply to PeterPollock
108. @jescalan Um, yeah. I’ve got my money on annoying. But thanks.
109. I think I’m going to try to tweet everything in haiku form. That should be incredibly annoying.
110. Can everyone just tweet for the pure sake of being random and annoying? It’s a liberating experience – Promise!
111. I’ve always wanted to say that on the twitter…
112. @ofmercy Night, Jon boy!
113. Should I be offended that my guest blogger gets more traffic on my blog than I do?
114. @ofmercy Aw, shucks! No I’m not! Okay…I totally am!
115. @ofmercy Well if I’m not least, then why did you mention me last? Hmh!
116. @bryanallain I am judging you. Are you kidding me?
117. @buzzbyannies I always speak from experience, unless I’m making it up.
118. @rachaelmphillip Your daughter still stubbornly refuses to get a twitter account, btw.
119. @rachaelmphillip Oooo! Beth’s mom read my blog! Thanks!
120. @buzzbyannies You can be a twitter ho from anywhere
121. @marklamberti Ah yes. Nothing would make me happier than seeing 2 past their prime fake tanned wrestlers displaying their man boobs.
122. @marklamberti No, no, no! You need to ask me questions about stuff I give a rat’s patooty about!
123. @billycoffey Awww! You’re cyberstalking me from the beach? How sweet!
124. @PeterPollock @CandySteele Thanks for the RTs. Hope that dude appreciates his nasty pimp working while he’s at the beach!
125. @jerdavcpa If I want to eat bad pizza and be annoyed by children, I can do that from the comfort of my own home
126. @lynnmosher Yeah, I’m waiting for him to figure out his writing is too good for my blog (shh…don’t tell him).
127. @lynnmosher No. God is merciful. There’s only one of me.
128. @lynnmosher @thewritermama What you need is a non writer friend who is a shameless self promoter. (Sorry, I’m taken)
129. @oliveshoot I lost my dignity a long, long time ago.
130. Playing go-fish w/my 7-yo daughter. She just told me “You’re about to say Crap.” I really need to edit myself more
131. @ryanmer I don’t know who’s worse. You for writing stuff like that, or me for reading it. Oh, most likely you…
132. @nickcarnes Yeah, those tokens are minted in the fiery furnaces of hell.
133. @nickcarnes I despise Chuck E. Cheese!
134. @mylestones Please disregard the tweet about me nasty feet
135. @mylestones @CandySteele I don’t want to say my feet are bad, but the last time I had a pedicure, they canceled the rest of their app.
136. @buzzbyannies @CandySteele Dear Fully Staffed Private Island and Private Jet Service to said private island: My friends & I need a vacation
137. @MichaelHyatt Having a pedicure might put your man card in question.
138. @blogomomma You live such a dangerous life! Al this talk of newspapers and coupons makes my life seem boring.
139. ATTENTION: I need someone to send me a free Kindle. If I like it, I will feature you on my blog, read by tens of people every day.
140. @authorjjhebert Well, then. Good for @rachellegarnder and good for the earth. Man, I gotta get me a kindle!
141. @authorjjhebert way to suck up to the literary agent! (kidding!) (sort of)

Really…Again. So sorry. I’m not even going to tell you how many I had for the week. You don’t want to know, and I don’t want to tell you…

Excerpt from Duma Key by Stephen King:

How to Draw a Picture (Part 2)

Remember that the truth is in the details. No matter how you see the world or what style it imposes on your work as an artist, the truth is in the details. Of course, the devil’s in there, too – everyone says so – but maybe truth and the devil are words for the same thing. It could be, you know.

In the larger scheme – the big picture – Jesus is the truth. He is the Truth, the Light and the Way. No one comes to the Father except through Him. He is the God of all things. He created the universe and He created the smallest grain of sand on the most remote island in the South Pacific. He is not encumbered by what encumbers us: time, worry, doubt, pride, sin.

The more we allow God into our lives, the lighter our burdens become. But that doesn’t stop us from choosing to carry them ourselves. We fight God. We push Him away. “I’ve got this God. I’m good.”

When this attitude begins to slowly seep into the details of our lives, the devil prepares to set up long term residence. He loves being in the details. Once he’s got his foot in the door, it’s difficult to uninvite him. He is patient, especially when we are not.

When our prayers seem to hit the ceiling and fall back into our laps, the devil waits for us to invite him in by way of doubting God’s providence.

But here’s the thing – he has already been defeated. The only way he can get a foothold is if we give him an opportunity to do so.

To the Pharisees Jesus said:

“If God were your Father, you would love me, for I came from God and now am here. I have not come on my own; but he sent me. Why is my language not clear to you? Because you are unable to hear what I say. You belong to your father, the devil, and you want to carry out your father’s desire. He was a murderer from the beginning, not holding to the truth, for there is no truth in him. When he lies, he speaks his native language, for he is a liar and the father of lies. Yet because I tell the truth, you do not believe me! Can any of you prove me guilty of sin? If I am telling the truth, why don’t you believe me? He who belongs to God hears what God says. The reason you do not hear is that you do not belong to God.”

Do not believe the father of lies. Remember to whom you belong. You are a child of God.

Ah, Sharkbait! He joined the Fellowship of the Traveling Smartypants because of a challenge from me, and I’m so glad that he did. He is a deep thinker for such a small fish, and he’s a lawyer that would be perfectly happy to be at the bottom of the ocean.


Here’s a bit of his bio:
What am I? How does one answer that question? I write, but am I a writer? I study, but am I a student? I teach, but am I a teacher? I am a lay minister, public speaking trainer, cell group leader, and much more. And in my spare time I am a lawyer to fund all my other activities. But above all, I want to be Faithful In Serving HIM. So all I reveal about myself is that I want to be a FISH.

I love the water. I mean really love it. From a young age I was always in the water and swimming around. I suppose it made choosing a fish as an avatar a bit inevitable. Which is rather ironic, because I am really not a very good swimmer. Not that I’m in imminent danger of going under for the third time in my bath tub you understand, but I have a deal with the sea. I don’t swim out into it alone, and it doesn’t try to drown me.

But I digress.

I really love water, and especially the sea. I love going to the beach, and growing up I had lots of toys for building sandcastles and such like. But my favourite was the simple plastic bucket; because once you had made your sand castle you had to collect the water from the sea to fill the moat. You did have a moat on your sandcastle didn’t you? Of course you did. So I used to collect buckets of water from the sea, and play with them.

You can tell a lot about the sea from just that one bucket. You can see that the water is wet, and tastes salty. You know what it smells like, and if you put your hand in, you know it burns any open cuts. If you took the water home and looked under a microscope, you would be able to see some of the organisms that live in the sea, and even analyse the water for chemical content.

You can tell a lot about the sea from that single bucket of water.

But it won’t tell you how unbelievable HUGE the sea is, or how deep. The mind-numbing depths or the amazing and scary animals that exist there. The strength of a single wave, or the distance a single current can carry a leaf.

In short, the bucket can show you what the sea is like, but it will be only a glimpse of the full potential. But boy does it make you want to go out there and swim in that ocean.

For us, God is like that infinite ocean. Wild, and unknowable. Yet we have Jesus, sort of like a bucket of God. A tiny glimpse of who God is, and what he is capable of, but never the whole story, just as much as we can comprehend. We see God in what we know of Jesus, but we also realise from him, just how little we actually know.

But Jesus was also just a plastic bucket, filled with God. He was fully God, but he was also fully human. What made him unique was not the plastic bucket, but the water it contained. In our effort to understand what it meant for him to be fully God, we need to learn how we can be fully human. How we can take on the nature of Christ, who was able to be the perfect plastic bucket, not because his plastic was better than ours, but because of how he was filled with the perfect water. We need to be Jesus in the world, showing people God within us. We need to be the perfect plastic bucket that Jesus was teaching us to be, not so that we can be filled, but by being filled.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to go visit the sea again, and look for a re-fill. See you on the distant shore.

For more from Sharkbait, visit him at Shark Bait’s Reef