Archive - April, 2009

The Results are In

The Winners are Helen and Wendy. (Please email me your 411 – okay, that was kind of lame.) I should send Candy some yard art just for spite, but I’m praying for her ungrateful heart. Also, I think Helen knows me better than some family members.

And now lemme break it down for you people:

8 Things I MAY OR MAY NOT have done Yesterday:

1. Made red beans and rice for lunch.
True – It was from a box, but it was sprinkled with love.

2. Shot a man just to watch him die.
False – I did not shoot a man to watch him die. On Wednesday.

3. Sent Donald Miller* a tweet with the word frigintastic and got a response to said tweet.
True – He posted a twitpic of a bar that I may or may not have patronized in downtown Austin. I asked if the pic was from downtown Austin, frigintastic! His response: “Absolutely. An Awesome Town.” Not so wordy in the non-book setting.

4. Threatened to kick my kids out in the rain if they messed up my clean house.
True – That’s a no brainer.

5. Got rave reviews from Simon Cowell after singing “Jenny” on American Idol for Wii.
False – I did not play the Wii on Wednesday. But I totally rock that song.

6. Alphabetized my spice rack.
False – I do not own a spice rack. We buy our spices in big redneck vats.

7. Took an extra dose of Ginkgo Biloba for good measure.
True – Having kids home from school unexpectedly requires contingency plans.

8. Booked 2 appointments with potential new clients for next week.
True – I’m fixin’ to get really busy.

8 Shows I MAY OR MAY NOT Watch

1. Best Show in the History of Television (also known as The Deadliest Catch)
True – nuff said.

2. Dancing with the Stars
False – That show is for girly girls. I’m not exactly rocking a mullet and birkenstock sandals, but I have a bit more testosterone than your average female. And say what you will about the athletic prowess of Emmitt Smith, as far as I’m concerned, he surrendered his man card when he agreed to be on that show.

3. CSI Miami
False – Sorry – David Caruso as Grown-up Angry Opie from The Andy Griffin Show doesn’t do it for me.

True – That show rocks.

5. CSI Las Vegas
True – That show also rocks. Even though I really miss Grissom and Warrick Brown. I loved me some Grissom and Warrick Brown!

6. Dirtiest Jobs
True – Mike Rowe is the second sexiest man alive, my dh being the numero uno.

7. Myth Busters
True – Blowing stuff up is awesome. Plus, if I were a tv star, I would want to be Kari Byron. She’s an artist and a knife thrower. How cool is that? She also referred to someone as a hippy, crystal gripping tree hugger on the show.

8. The Office
True That’s what she said.

8 Things I Wish I Could Do (or might actually be able to do):

1. Paint with either hand.
True – I am right/left brain confused, but sometimes it comes in handy.

2. Juggle.
False – I am a klutz of epic proportions. Juggling requires eye hand coordination.

3. Write song parodies a-la Weird Al Yankovitz.
True – I once wrote Christian lyrics to “Walk This Way” by Aerosmith. It’s not something I’m proud of, but it was my friend J.D.’s going away gift. I also wrote a parody of the song “Church on Fire” for a departing pastor who was fond of the tacky Hawaiin shirt entitled “Shirt on Fire”. I do not heart that song.

4. Recite the preamble to the Constitution.
True – I grew up on Schoolhouse Rock.

5. Play the harmonica.
False – Although I play slightly better than Alanis Morrisette.

6. Roller Skate backwards.
True – I am ALL up in that! I can skate better backward than forwards.

7. Make awesome chicken enchiladas.
True – They are awesomatastic!

8. Sing “American Pie” in its entirety (the long version) by memory.
False – Sad, but true. Dig that song, though.

8 Things I MAY OR MAY NOT be Looking Forward To:

1. Meeting some of my bloggity gal pals this summer.
True – Heck yeah!

2. Tomorrow.
True – New day. Fresh start.

3. Redoing my guest bathroom.
True – I’m planning on making a mancave for my dh.

4. Old age.
True – Even though I wish I had more nieces and nephews. Crazy Aunt Kathy has a nicer ring to it than my Crazy Mother.

5. Catching up on a season’s worth of American Idol on Tivo.
False – That show made me mad when they voted off Dirty Rocker Chris Daughtry. I watch from time to time, but I think this year’s talent is rather sucktacular.

6. Going to my husband’s high school reunion.
True – Like I’m gonna say False. He reads my blog, you know. Not every day, mind you. But it’s sort of like random drug testing. You just never know. Besides, what’s not to like about being around a bunch of people telling you stuff about your spouse that you might not know?

7. Going to Japan with my mom someday soon.
True – Although I’ll probably have to sell a kidney to be able to afford it.

8. The premiere of the movie “New Moon”.
True – Also, did you know that there’s a 5th book? Twilight from Edward Cullen’s perspective. Oh, heck yeah!

There you have it. Thirty-two things you never wanted to know about katdish. I will now open up the comments section to completely random and totally unrelated comments…

Eight is Enough

So…I pretty much got nothing. Plus, I’m still reeling from the fact that my first guest blogger is more popular than me ON MY OWN BLOG. How suck is that? (Just kidding – that’s awesome.) Maybe I should spend more time carefully weaving a story that is humorous, engaging and thought provoking…Oooo! Shiny vampire!

I suppose I could write about the weather: It rained. A bunch. Rednecks swam in flood waters. For fun. There was no school. There better be school today. The end.

And now…I’m going to punt. A few members of the Magnificent Infinity posted “8 Things” posts, so I’m going with that. We used to be the Magnificent 7, but we’re a friendly bunch, and people dig us (especially Annie K). I’m changing mine up a bit because I like to be different, and they’re not the boss of me. Here ya go:

8 Things I MAY OR MAY NOT have done Yesterday:
1. Made red beans and rice for lunch.
2. Shot a man just to watch him die.
3. Sent Donald Miller* a tweet with the word frigintastic and got a response to said tweet.
4. Threatened to kick my kids out in the rain if they messed up my clean house.
5. Got rave reviews from Simon Cowell after singing “Jenny” on American Idol for Wii.
6. Alphabetized my spice rack.
7. Took an extra dose of Ginkgo Biloba for good measure.
8. Booked 2 appointments with potential new clients for next week.

*yeah, “Blue Like Jazz” Donald Miller.

8 Shows I MAY OR MAY NOT Watch
1. Best Show in the History of Television (also known as The Deadliest Catch)
2. Dancing with the Stars
3. CSI Miami
5. CSI Las Vegas
6. Dirtiest Jobs
7. Myth Busters
8. The Office

8 Things I Wish I Could Do (or might actually be able to do):
1. Paint with either hand.
2. Juggle.
3. Write song parodies a-la Weird Al Yankovitz.
4. Recite the preamble to the Constitution.
5. Play the harmonica.
6. Roller Skate backwards.
7. Make awesome chicken enchiladas.
8. Sing “American Pie” in its entirety (the long version)by memory.

8 Things I MAY OR MAY NOT be Looking Forward To:
1. Meeting some of my bloggity gal pals this summer.
2. Tomorrow.
3. Redoing my guest bathroom.
4. Old age.
5. Catching up on a season’s worth of American Idol on Tivo.
6. Going to my husband’s high school reunion.
7. Going to Japan with my mom someday soon.
8. The premiere of the movie “New Moon”.

Just to make this interesting and to lure you lurker types out of shadows, I am offering a frigintastic prize to the person who can come up with the most correct true or false answers to the aforementioned statements. In the event of a tie, I have more than one of these quality pieces of yard art:

These are not the actual birds in my possession, but seriously – close enough! I didn’t feel like taking a picture, downloading it to my computer, etc. Besides, mine are hermetically sealed in the original packaging. Sa-weet! This is a friendly competition and all results are final. Please – no wagering.

The winner will be announced on tomorrow’s post.

Bonus Question: I MAY OR MAY NOT have given out the following phone number on one or 30 occasions “back in the day”:

It’s all a Matter of Emphasis

One of the great things about being completely random is that I never feel the need to write something thought provoking and/or deep. I may do that accidentally sometimes, but – you know – no pressure. I’m not, after all, a writer. I’m a silly person who writes a blog that, for reasons unbeknownst to me, people read on a regular basis. I do have a theory, however. Not to brag or anything, but I think I have the uncanny ability to find really good writers in the blogosphere. And don’t try to deny it, because some of you people follow me everywhere! Hey Look a Chicken has become some sort of bloggity portal through which many people find much awesomeness. (You’re welcome.)

Oh, and check this out! The last time I wrote a post about a really good blog, the writer’s name was Koffijah. This time, his name is Billy Coffey. I really like coffee. I really like Koffijah and Billy Coffey. Did anyone else just get a little chill down their spine? No? Okay, whatever…

I suppose I could just give you a link to Billy’s blog, but he was kind enough to allow me to post a story here. Besides, I think after you read it, you will be a fan of What I Learned Today just like me. And while you’re over there, please disregard my stupid random comments sprinkled among the unabashed declarations of adoration for his writing. I just like to mix things up a little. Enough of me, here’s one of Billy’s recent posts:

Please Take One

The toy store downtown is one of those mom-and-pop deals that you can get lost in, the sort of place where you can find things that Toys R Us would never think of stocking. Good things. Great things. Things that really, really make me wish I were a kid again. Which makes shopping there both a pleasure and a curse. A pleasure because there is so much I’d like to get my kids for two weeks of chores well done. A curse because I can’t make up my mind what to get them.

So, there on a Wednesday during lunch, I wander. And in my wandering I happen to spot a Longaberger basket sitting atop a wooden display of toy soldiers (Toy soldiers, I think to myself. My son would love some toy soldiers).

In the basket is a pile of those long, thick pretzel sticks. The sign above them says PLEASE TAKE ONE.

Given the fact that it’s lunchtime and I’m hungry, that’s exactly what I do. I take one and munch while I walk. Through the Legos, the building blocks, the books, the dolls. Through the Tonka trucks and coloring books and Play Doh.

And I am back to where I started. At the basket of pretzels.

Still unsure of what to buy and still hungry, I decide to restock and take another trip around the store. I reach into the basket for another pretzel. And as I bite it, I see something out of the corner of my eye.

Standing beside the stuffed animals about four feet away is a little boy. Sixish, not much older than my son, and staring. At me. He holds out one fist and raises his index finger.

One, it says.

I wrinkle my eyebrows, unsure of what his attempt at sign language means.

One, again.

“What?” I ask him (which actually came out as “Wamp?” because I hadn’t swallowed yet).

“You took two pretzels,” he says.


“You’re only ‘posed to take one.”

“Who are you” I ask, “the pretzel police?”

“It’s what the sign says,” he states, now using his index finger to point. “Mama said the sign says ‘Please take one.”

I look at the sign, then back to him. “No,” I answer, “the sign says ‘Please take one.’ There’s a difference. It’s all a matter of emphasis.”

“What’s empkasis?”

“Never mind,” I say.

“You shouldn’t have taken that pretzel. Mama says God watches us.”

My mind takes a sudden detour to those old Disney movies, where the older, bigger kid was always accompanied by Jiminy Cricket, Mr. Disney’s version of a conscience. I’m starting to think this kid is my Jiminy Cricket. Or maybe just aggravating. I haven’t made up my mind yet.

“Your mama’s right,” I answer, wondering where in the world his mama was. “But since God knows the sign says ‘Please take one,’ I think I’m in the clear.”

“Please. Take. One,” he corrects.

There we stand in the middle of the store, staring down one another like two gunslingers in a Western wondering who would draw first.

PLEASE TAKE ONE. An invitation to me, a rule for him. Which was right? I’m not as sure as I was a few minutes ago.

How do we decide who is right and who is wrong? Easy.

Go ask the owner of the store.

“Excuse me,” I say to the nice lady behind the counter. “I was wondering if you could shed a little light on a problem this youngin’ and I are having.”

She perks up and joins us, happy to have something to do.

“We were wondering about this sign here,” I say. “Is it please take one, or please take one?”

The owner gives us both a strange look. “Well, I’m not sure. No one’s ever asked.”

“It’s preyin’ on our minds, ma’am,” the boy says.

“Preyin’,” I add.

“If you’d like a pretzel,” she says, “please take one. If you’d like another, you can take one, too.”


“Can I have a pretzel?” the boy asks.

Situation resolved, the three of us part ways. Him to his mother, who had been preoccupied with the books, the owner back to the register, and me to finish my shopping.

Funny, I think, how three words led us this far. But I am sure of this: if two people can disagree over something as simple as pretzels, it’s no wonder why we disagree over the important things even more—politics and God, right and wrong, war and peace.

Who’s to know which is right and which is wrong? Or even if there really is a right and wrong? How do we settle our differences, put away our prejudices, and find the truth?

Maybe, I thought, we should all do what that little boy and I ended up doing.

Maybe we should all go the Owner of the store and see what He says.


(Oh sure, it’s no top ten shiny vampire list. But still, very good.)

P. S. – Billy, In your email, you mentioned that you didn’t remember how you found your way over to my blog. I’m pretty sure it was the first comment I made on your post, The Fruit Salad. Here’s what I said (in part):
“Your grandmother was a very wise woman, indeed. And you dropped the “f” bomb on her? Jerk!”

You left a comment here before mine was even posted.

P. S. S. – If you have a comment for Billy, please feel free to post it here. I’ll try to keep my big mouth shut. (No promises, though.)

Another Top Ten List: Twilight Edition

Hello my friends. It’s been awhile since I posted a top ten list, and since I just finished reading Twilight and watching the movie, I’ve been inspired to share another one with you.

The Top Ten things I may or may not have been inspired to do after reading/watching Twilight:

Number 10:
Delete everything from my flair board on Facebook and heretofore only accept Edward Cullen/Twilight flair.

Number 9:
Throw out my bare minerals loose powder and buy a shade 4 shades lighter than my natural skin color.

Number 8:
Refuse to answer to any name other than Bella or Alice.

Number 7:
Begin to think that my klutzy tendencies are downright adorable.

Number 6:
Wonder how my husband would look with bronze hair.

Number 5:
Start acting like a fourteen year old angst-filled girl.

Number 4:
Have my teeth whitened and sharpened.

Number 3:
Buy a new Twilight calendar and begin marking the days off until the “New Moon” movie premiere with a red Sharpie.

Number 2:
Secretly replace my husband’s moisturizing lotion with glittering after-sun lotion.

Number 1:
Finish this blog post, lock myself in my room and finish reading the second book in the series.

Gotta go now…talk amongst yourselves….

Still struggling to Let It Go…

Tim Edwards has completed rehab and is the guest of honor at a homecoming party given at a local church tonight. For those of you who are new to this blog, Tim is the star of a viral marketing campaign and brainchild of a father and son marketing team here in Houston called Pimp this Bum dot com Through much prayer and more than a little gnashing of teeth by yours truly, I have been able to get past my anger about this website (mostly). I am still really struggling with the whole “the ends justify the means” mentality. I don’t think anyone could convince me that what they did was right. Having said that, Tim has been given a second chance; generous donations have allowed him to get off the streets. Kevin and Sean Dolan (the father and son team) are not evil marketers bent only on making a buck at Tim’s expense, I just can’t condone their methods. Piled atop of this, is a knot in my stomach that has yet to unravel. Why the knot? Because I asked my friend and well known pastor Pete Wilson to write a post about it, which only gained the website more exposure. It still makes me feel icky. I received an invite to the party, but I am not going. There are some folks from my church who know Tim that will be there. There will be enough unfamiliar faces there without adding mine to the mix. What am I going to say to him? “Hi, I’m katdish. You know, the blogger that all the news blogs keep quoting? The one that hates the website that is responsible for you being here?” No thanks. I’ll just stay home with the kiddos tonight. I am so happy for Tim. I really am. But I’m still struggling…

I’ve been holding on so tight
Look at these knuckles
They’ve gone white
I’m fighting for who I wanna be
I’m just trying to find security

But You say let it go, You say let it go
You say life is waiting for the one’s who lose control
You say you will be, everything I need
You said if I lose my life it’s then I’ll find my soul
You say let it go.

Well it’s hard enough to hear
Harder still, to move beyond this fear
We know there’s nothing I can bring,
So tell me what do you want from me?

But You say let it go, You say let it go
You say life is waiting for the one’s who lose control
You say You will be, everything I need
You said if I lose my life it’s then I’ll find my soul
You say let it go, You say let it go

What do I love?
What do I hate?
What will I lose?
What will I gain?
How do I save my soul?
What if I bend?
What if I break?
What will it cost?
What will it take?
For you to save my soul.

You say let it go, You say let it go
You say life is waiting for the one’s who lose control
You say You will be, everything I need
You said if I lose my life it’s then I’ll find my soul

You say let it go, You say let it go
You say life is waiting for the one’s who lose control
You say you will be, everything I need
You said if I lose my life it’s then I’ll find my soul
You say let it go, You say let it go

The New Skymall’s Here! The New Skymall’s Here!

Oh yesh! It is the much anticipated (by Mare) Skymall Post – Geeky Blogger Edition! For my new readers (both of you), I have written previous Skymall posts, and may I humbly say, that they rate right up there with my pornographic cheese buttler posts. They are THAT good! You can check them out here:
Blog Fodder: First in a Series! (Tacky Holiday Decor)
Katdish’s Holiday Gift Guide (Part 2) (The over-indulgent parent/pet owner)
Katdish’s Holiday Gift Guide (Part 3) (Akward Star Wars Geek/the one where I make fun of Jeff and Tamara)
Katdish’s Holiday Gift Guide (Part 4) (Singing and Talking Elvis/Slanket)
Tuesdays with Skymall (Delusions of Grandeur Sports Fan/Germophobe)

I know you’re time is valuable. If you read ONLY one of these, I would go with the Talking and Singing Elvis post. To quote the late Dudley Moore from the movie “Crazy People”, “It won’t just scare you, it will (bad word) you up for life!”

I think this post is fairly amusing, but probably not in the same league as the holiday guides. In my defense, I would just like to say that I wrote those posts during the holiday season, and nothing brings out my passive/aggressive sarcasm “A” game like spending quality time with extended family. Disclaimers aside, may I present Skymall: The Geeky Blogger Edition!:

The Revolutionary Portable Laptop Table:

sky mall portable laptop table

“Our new revolutionary Portable Laptop Table is your key to comfortable computing at home or on the road. Perfect for business travelers, this gem is unique in its ability to properly position your laptop for reclined computing. Use in bed, on a sofa or a reclining chair. Fully adjustable to maximize comfort while in use, the laptop table helps to relieve neck and back pain, and allows for the correct placement of your arms for easy use of your computer. ($119.95)”

How many times do you think the word “revolutionary” is used in the Sky Mall Catalog? If I had a nickel for every time they used that word, I’d probably be able to afford some of that overpriced crap. Although, I must admit, having one of those would be pretty sweet. The only thing lacking is a Big Gulp cup holder on the side and a detachable bedpan. Then it would be slacktacular perfection! Alas, my heart belongs to Dave!

The Tech-Savvy Travel Mug:

sky mall tech savvy travel mug
On the road or at your desk, keep your beverage hot!
“Keep coffee or tea deliciously hot with this tech-savvy travel mug. In the car it plugs into a power port with the included 12 -volt adapter; at a computer it plugs into the USB port. Double-walled, stainless-steel construction, UL-approved heat control, spill-proof lid. A rubber cap seals the input jack for easy washing. Holds 16 oz. Available in Black, Red or Blue. ($19.99)”

Wouldn’t you just be the envy of all the folks in your favorite overpriced coffee shop with your very own tech-savvy travel mug that plugs directly into your laptop? And as an added bonus, they are available in colors to match your favorite official Star Trek officer uniform! (Win-win.)

The Mobile Edge Wi-Fi Signal Locator:

sky mall Mobile Edge Wi-Fi Signal Locator
“The Mobile Edge WiFi Signal Locator (SL) is the smallest and most convenient way to check for hot spots without going through the tedious process of having to first boot-up your notebook and then search for a signal. By attaching the WiFi SL to your key chain or carrying case you will always be immediately aware of the presence of local hot spots! ($29.99)”

This futuristic looking item ALSO looks really cool with your favorite Star Trek officer uniform. (Win-win-win.)

The Laptop Necklace:

sky mall laptop necklace

NEW! This portable desk makes your laptop truly mobile.
“When you have work to do, having no place to sit is no longer a problem. Now you can use your laptop standing or even walking with this portable desk. This clever invention adjusts to allow any size laptop to work on the go for any size person, short or tall. Anti-skid surface. Fits inside most computer bags. Made from 100% recycled plastic. 1 lb. 6 oz. ($39.99)”


Here’s one review from a VERY satisfied customer:

Pros: comfortable, flattering, conversation starter, never miss an important email
Cons: absolutely none

“Since I rarely find myself at home this Laptop Necklace has made my life so much easier. Now I can do all difficult the tasks, like email, paying bills, surfing the web, on the go. With the portable desk I can get work done from anywhere. It is possible to engage in activities such as golf, walking my dog, tanning, and even eating out in restaurants while using this fabulous device. I would highly recommend this to all executive, especially the homeless type.”

Ummm….yeah. (But I’m sure it looks good on you, Nick…)
(NOTE: Coat hanger and tin foil festooned helmet not included.)

The following item has nothing to do with computers or electronics. I just thought it was one of those “segue scooter” type products – sort of cool as long as you don’t have to actually see yourself use it:

The SkyRest Travel Pillow ($29.95)

sky mall travel pillow

Seriously, if you sit next to me on an airplane and pull this thing out of your carry-on luggage, I want you tell you this ahead of time because I don’t think I’ll be able to breath, let alone speak: “I’m sorry. I can’t help myself sometimes. I’m not laughing at you, I’m laughing beside you. That thing is ridiculous. Oh, and you’re drooling.)

Hope you liked this post. There’s many more where that came from. The Skymall Catalog: the gift of blog fodder that keeps on giving!

Hannah Montana Devotional

Feel free to make fun of me for this post. No, really. If you were to write it, I might do the same. Besides, those of you who have been reading this blog for very long know that I’m not easily offended.

The thing is, I think it’s important to write from your own life experience; to come from your heart. The very best reads (for me anyway) are those where a person can wrap a piece of themselves into the story. So that’s what I’m attempting to do.

I’m a 43 year old (soon to be 44 – early August, I like flip flops, size 10, or a really nice 1-1/2″ sash brush from Sherwin Williams, BTW) ADD afflicted wife, mother, small business owner, school volunteer, blogger and church planter. I am attempting to live my life in a way that honors God. I fail miserably on a pretty regular basis. I beat myself up about it, say a prayer, and try again the next day. One day at a time. I see God in the big and the small things. I don’t think we have to sit on a beach or gaze down from a mountain to experience His majesty. (Even though I’ve always found His presence overwhelmingly strong when I have been able to do that.)

In some ways indulge my kids. When we’re in the car, unless there’s a song on that I really like, I let them pick what they want to listen to. I’ve been listening to quite a bit on Hannah Montana lately. Specifically, the soundtrack from her new movie. There’s one in particular that I really relate to. It reminds me that, while it’s good to have goals, life is more about the journey, not the destination. My life striving to become closer to Jesus is like that too. I’m never going to get where I need to be this side of eternity, but I want to make the most of the journey, and bring as many as I can along for the ride.

The Climb

I can almost see it
That dream I’m dreaming but
There’s a voice inside my head sayin,
You’ll never reach it,
Every step I’m taking,
Every move I make feels
Lost with no direction
My faith is shaking but I
Got to keep trying
Got to keep my head held high

There’s always going to be another mountain
I’m always going to want to make it move
Always going to be an uphill battle,
Sometimes I’m going to have to lose,
Ain’t about how fast I get there,
Ain’t about what’s waiting on the other side
It’s the climb

The struggles I’m facing,
The chances I’m taking
Sometimes they might knock me down but
No I’m not breaking
I may not know it
But these are the moments that
I’m going to remember most yeah
Just got to keep going

And I, I got to be strong
Just keep pushing on, cause
There’s always going to be another mountain
I’m always going to want to make it move
Always going to be an uphill battle,
Sometimes I’m going to have to lose,
Ain’t about how fast I get there,
Ain’t about what’s waiting on the other side
It’s the climb
There’s always going to be another mountain
I’m always going to want to make it move
Always going to be an uphill battle,
Somebody’s you’re going to have to lose,
Ain’t about how fast I get there,
Ain’t about what’s waiting on the other side
It’s the climb
Keep on moving
Keep climbing
Keep the faith baby
It’s all about
It’s all about
The climb
Keep the faith
Keep your faith

So, yeah – God speaks to me in the quiet times, when I’m worshipping him in a corporate setting, or when I’m singing “The Climb” at the top of my lungs in my car with my daughter begging me to stop from the back seat.

It’s all about the climb. Keep the faith, baby!

The Peter Principle

The Transfiguration (Matthew 17: 1-5)
1After six days Jesus took with him Peter, James and John the brother of James, and led them up a high mountain by themselves. 2There he was transfigured before them. His face shone like the sun, and his clothes became as white as the light. 3Just then there appeared before them Moses and Elijah, talking with Jesus.

4Peter said to Jesus, “Lord, it is good for us to be here. If you wish, I will put up three shelters—one for you, one for Moses and one for Elijah.”

5While he was still speaking, a bright cloud enveloped them, and a voice from the cloud said, “This is my Son, whom I love; with him I am well pleased. Listen to him!”

I’ve been thinking about the launch of C3 and the relaunching of Jason’s Church, Breakthrough Church quite a bit lately. I think Jeff and Jason have similar visions for their respective churches. That is, they really do want to get out of the way and allow God to use them for His glory. I know Jeff well enough to know that he doesn’t say that because that’s what he supposed to say. He really believes it. And while I only know Jason through our blogs, I believe that he really believes that, too.
I hear much about doing big things for God; of pursuing excellence for Him. Without question, He is worthy of our very best. But often I wonder if we pursue lofty goals in His name because we think that’s what He wants from us. I also wonder if we feel we somehow fail Him when our expectations or the perceived expectations of others fail to materialize.

I love Peter’s reaction to the Transfiguration of Jesus in the above passage of scripture. Peter loved Jesus. He wanted to honor him; to do something big for him. He wasn’t wrong for wanting to do this, he just didn’t grasp what was happening. Peter thoughts were likely, “What a great honor for Jesus to be in the company of Moses and Elijah!” Peter didn’t realize that it was Moses and Elijah that were honored to be in the presence of Jesus. When God says, “This is my Son, whom I love; with him I am well pleased. Listen to him!”, do you ever wonder if God is maybe rolling his eyes at Peter — I mean, just a little bit?

My point is, I think the Church (big C) needs to prayerfully consider everything we do for His Kingdom. If God wants a church to have thousands of members and offer many ministries and reach a large number of people, He will provide the means to accomplish that. Conversely, if God brings a body of believers together that may only ever have a small congregation, but this church is able to accomplish things that are big in God’s eyes but not big in the eyes of the world, can we be okay with that? Can we also put aside the notion that one is good and the other is bad? I don’t know what God has in store for my little church plant or for any of yours, but I pray that we will have an open dialogue with Him, so that where He leads we will follow. I want God to be enough for you and for me and for all of us.

Did you believe that I loved you?

I grew up going to church. Please understand me when I tell you that doesn’t mean I grew up a Christian, because that’s not what I mean to say. I grew up going to church on Sunday with my mother and on occasion with my father because that’s what “respectable” people did. I did not have a relationship with Jesus. Church was a place, not a body.

When I was in junior high school, my older sister started dating a guy whose family belonged to a church. My mom (who was now recently divorced from my dad) started taking all of us. I really loved that church. There were many Sundays when the pastor would invite people to come forward and be baptised that I felt compelled to do so. But since I grew up going to church, I was ashamed to admit that I hadn’t already done so. I began to feel more and more like an outsider; a phony Christian. I eventually quit going to church altogether. My teen years and twenties were spent very far away from God.

It was not until after the birth of my first child that I was baptised and began my life as a Christian. Before that, I owned a bible that did little more than gather dust on the bookshelf. The church where I was baptised was my church home until I left to help plant C3. I still love that body of believers. I learned so much about God, Jesus and His Word there. But at some point, I began to wonder if I would ever measure up to what it meant to be a good Christian. Soon after we joined a bible study group, we did a study of James. I was completely baffled by it. To me, so much of it contradicted what I had read in the gospel of John. (Which is what everyone told me to read first.) I just didn’t understand how both could be true. Then I borrowed a book called “The Ragamuffin Gospel” by Brennan Manning from our new worship pastor. I read that book cover to cover in 2 days. Until I read that book, as much as I tried to understand to concept of grace, I just couldn’t understand how God could love someone as broken as me — not someone who was once broken, but someone who was still broken; still woefully inadequate and unworthy. After reading it, I read the bible with a fresh perspective. It was one of those God’s perfect timing moments for me.

I recently found a blog called on coffee by clicking on a link on Koffijah’s blog. It is a delightfully random sort of blog — right up my alley! There are several Youtube videos on this blog, including the one below. Please understand, I am posting this because it really struck a cord with me personally. This is not an attempt to tear down anyone else’s relationship with God. I just wanted to share it with you:

Brennan Manning said:

The Lord Jesus is going to ask each of us one question and only one question: Do you believe that I loved you? That I desired you? That I waited for you day after day? That I longed to hear the sound of your voice?

The real believers there will answer, “Yes, Jesus. I believed in your love and I tried to shape my life as a response to it. But many of us who are so faithful in our ministry, in our practice, in our church going are going to have to reply, “Well frankly, no sir. I mean, I never really believed it. I mean, I heard alot of wonderful sermons and teachings about it. In fact I gave quite a few myself. But I always knew that that was just a way of speaking; a kindly lie, some Christian’s pious pat on the back to cheer me on. And there’s the difference between the real believers and the nominal Christians that are found in our churches across the land. No one can measure like a believer the depth and the intensity of God’s love. But at the same time, no one can measure like a believer the effectiveness of our gloom, pessimism, low self-esteem, self-hatred and despair that block God’s way to us. Do you see why it is so important to lay hold of this basic truth of our faith? Because you’re only going to be as big as your own concept of God.

Do you remember the famous line of the French philosopher, Blaise Pascal? “God made man in his own image, and man returned the compliment”? We often make God in our own image, and He winds up to be as fussy, rude, narrow minded, legalistic, judgemental, unforgiving, unloving as we are.

In the past couple of three years I have preached the gospel to the financial community in Wallstreet, New York City, the airmen and women of the air force academy in Colorado Springs, a thousand positions in Nairobi. I’ve been in churches in Bangor, Maine, Miami, Chicago, St. Louis, Seattle, San Diego. And honest, the god of so many Christians I meet is a god who is too small for me. Because he is not the God of the Word, he is not the God revealed by it in Jesus Christ who this moment comes right to your seat and says, “I have a word for you. I know your whole life story. I know every skeleton in your closet. I know every moment of sin, shame, dishonesty and degraded love that has darkened your past. Right now I know your shallow faith, your feeble prayer life, your inconsistent discipleship. And my word is this: I dare you to trust that I love you just as you are, and not as you should be. Because you’re never going to be as you should be.”

Do you believe that He loves you?

NOTE: You many have noticed that I when I post a song video here, I will also provide the lyrics to the video. The reason I do this is because not everyone who reads my blog is able to view videos on their computers. It’s ususally an easy matter of cutting and pasting the lyrics from another source – no big deal. As far as I could find, there is no transcript of this particular speech by Manning. I typed what he said as I heard it, so if I misheard anything, I apologize. I think I got it right, though, and I’m so glad I typed it out, because sometimes I’m a little thick, and the exercise helped me soak in every single word.

Google Analytics

Okay, y’all – this is so stinking funny (to me, anyway) that the only intro I’m going to give you is that I recently started using Google Analytics to track this blog. The following is a list of keyword searches people have used to find this blog. I added the Smartypants blog on Saturday. (Can’t wait to see THAT list!) Anyway, here are the keyword searches that landed some unfortunate folks on my blog:

1) katdish
2) katdish freak
3) howdy cloud
4) look a chicken
5) “annie k” boobs
6) “i cried a tear” “was confused” “clear my mind”
7) +katdish
8) add”hey look a chicken”
9) beth moore obsession
10) biggest boobs annie k. biggest “annie k.”
11) bunch of crap in my car console
12) cartoon i was just thinking
13) catalyst one day
14) chicken plate and fork
15) days of the harvest
16) do not look the chicken
17) dora sullivan rock band 2
18) droopy boob smiley
19) emoticon for butts
20) foghorn leghorn smart boy just a little on the dumb side
21) fork and spoon devotional
22) godology excerpt
23) helen’s buttcrack
24) hey look a chicken
25) hey look at these
26) hey look!
27) house church do’s and don’ts
28) how do i make a sideways smiley face?
29) how do you make a sideways smiley
30) how to get smileys which sideways
31) igoogle
32) katdish blog
33) nonconformity quote
34) parachute drop church planting
35) rock band contest “louisville”
36) sideways smiley face
37) sideways smiley facebook
38) slanket redemption codes
39) slutty rock look
40) songs with home in them
41) the cat’s diary the dog’s diary day of my imprisonment
42) the sideways smiley face
43) top ten reasons people don’t tithe
44) what does the sideways smiley mean
45) where to buy jolly rancher jelly beans at grocery stores?
46) woman checken brain

Whew! (wiping my tear filled eyes) That’s at LEAST a week’s worth of material right there!

Who says you actually have to have something to blog about to write a post?

And to those of you who found my blog via keyword search:

Sorry/You’re welcome!

P. S. – Annie, Is there something you want to tell the rest of the class?
P. P. S. – What is this obsession with the sideways smiley face?!?

Page 1 of 3123»