Katdish.net

Like so many of my blogging buddies, I met Nick through Jon Acuff’s site, Stuff Christians Like. Unlike most of my friendships formed from commenting on SCL, my first reaction to Nick was this: He pissed me off. Why? Because Nick once called Oklahoma “home”, and as some folks from Oklahoma tend to do, he takes great joy in making fun of all things Texas. (Jealousy and whatnot.) While I’m not originally from Texas, there’s something about this place that gets into your heart and never leaves. So when someone makes fun of her, well, them’s fighting words! But here’s the thing – I can’t help but like Nick. He’s like the punky little brother I never had. And while I would happily wail on him any chance I could get, if someone were to attack him personally, I would be the first to defend him.

He is a youth pastor in parts unknown (I know where he lives, but that’s not for public consumption.) He is a husband, a father, a true geek, and a master of sarcasm and dry wit. Above all, he has a heart for people. Specifically, people who have yet to know Jesus Christ as their Lord and Savior. So, even though I will tease him mercilessly until my dying day, just between you and me, I think he’s pretty special. (Just don’t tell him I said that, because I will deny it.)

Here’s Nick on the dance of teen dating:

I doubt katdish will understand the amount of research I had to put into this post. Being from Texas, I assume she knows all about square dancing and what all the calls mean. I don’t know these things so I had to look them up.

Why was it so important to know about Square Dancing? Well, so I can understand the dating habits of teens.

It seems the most popular game right now in my Youth group is musical dating. As I began to study the changes in the couples, it seemed that they were following strange and mesmerizing patterns. The patterns felt familiar and then it occurred to me. Square Dancing!

Of course, there is some unknown caller commanding the teens to change partners and form new patterns. It is the only reasonable explanation for why a smart girl would start dating a guy that she hated just days before because of the way he treated her friend, and why she would blindly go through the dance moves until he switched to another corner with yet another girl.
Of course in square dancing the partners end up back together in the end, but with the rhythmic changes of the teen couples the end is only heart break until the next pairing is made.

While this particular dance is fascinating to watch it does concern me. My sister calls it “practicing for divorce.” I think she may be right. When we train our heart to be broken so readily then to be repaired by a new partner then we will rely on that training. Marriage is about opening your heart to someone and that means heartache and even heart break. If we have trained ourselves to find solace in others then we will complete the cycle.

I think this is one of the major reasons why marriages fail so readily in America.

Of course, the question arises, how do we deal with this dance?

For more from Nick, check out his blog, My Experiences as a Youth Pastor. Be sure to check out the Super Youth Pastor posts. Those are awesome.

• A.D.D. and how I deal with it; or not deal with it, as the case may be
• What I do when I’m not on the computer?
• Have I always been like this?
• What’s up with all the monkey butt references?
• Why do I always say “That’s what she said”?
• How long do I think it will take before I become the next social media darling via Twitter?
• Paper or plastic?
• If I were a tree, what kind of tree would I be?
• What is the second most used keyword search topic that lands people on this blog besides “katdish”?
• What famous people read my blog and never comment? (that should be fun)
• Who’s my favorite commenter?
• What’s my favorite blog beside this one?

Geez. I’m a glutton for punishment…

So, I’ve pretty much been a slacker this week when it came to my blog. I mean, not a slacker like Candy or Steph, but still.

Billy Coffey wrote his usual post for me on Monday. I say usual – that post blew up my Google Analytics – my second highest day ever. The first was the day I guest blogged for Stuff Christians Like. So, thank you Mr. Coffey. You are mantastic! I wrote a serious post on Tuesday, Stacey guest blogged for me on Wednesday, Thursday I linked a write up on me on High Calling Blogs written by Bradley J. Moore (I still can’t say that with a straight face). Friday was the Twitter Update, and yesterday I stole a story off of Brian Russell’s blog. In keeping with this trend, I will now post my friend and pastor Jeff Hogan’s sermon notes from last Sunday. I know – I am tragically lazy. But I do love Jesus:

Acts 2:1-4
1When the day of Pentecost came, they were all together in one place. 2Suddenly a sound like the blowing of a violent wind came from heaven and filled the whole house where they were sitting. 3They saw what seemed to be tongues of fire that separated and came to rest on each of them. 4All of them were filled with the Holy Spirit and began to speak in other tongues[a] as the Spirit enabled them.
a Or languages; also in verse 11

So the gift given to the Church that day was nothing less than the Holy Spirit! And Jesus Himself taught about why this would be so significant:

John 14:16-17
16And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another Counselor to be with you forever— 17the Spirit of truth. The world cannot accept him, because it neither sees him nor knows him. But you know him, for he lives with you and will be in you.

The Holy Spirit has always been an active and very much God. But when Jesus brought the New Covenant into being, 2 really big things about His role changed:

v.16- The Holy Spirit’s presence would now be PERMANENT, instead of TEMPORARY.

v.17- He would now dwell IN people, not just come UPON them.

So, how does the gift of the Holy Spirit and His New Covenant role affect someone who chooses to follow Christ?

I. The Holy Spirit shows me that God is SERIOUS.

2 Cor. 1:21-22
21Now it is God who makes both us and you stand firm in Christ. He anointed us, 22set his seal of ownership on us, and put his Spirit in our hearts as a deposit, guaranteeing what is to come.

Life is difficult, and we aren’t exempted from those difficulties when we choose to follow Jesus. But the Holy Spirit stays with us to be a reminder that God is invested in us, and He won’t walk away from that investment.

Again speaking of what is to come, Paul tells us in

Ephesians 1:13-14
13And you also were included in Christ when you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation. Having believed, you were marked in him with a seal, the promised Holy Spirit, 14who is a deposit guaranteeing our inheritance until the redemption of those who are God’s possession—to the praise of his glory.

II. The Holy Spirit shows me how to LIVE.

Look at how Jesus describes the Holy Spirit’s role here:

John 14:26
But the Counselor, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, will teach you all things and will remind you of everything I have said to you.

Jesus calls the Holy Spirit the “Counselor” in this verse. At least, that’s how we have translated the word. In Greek, the word is paraklētos (pronounced pä-rä’-klā-tos). It’s where we get our word, “paraclete,” which the dictionary will define as “an advocate or intercessor.” But even that comes us just a little short.

The story is told that the Karre language of equatorial Africa was difficult for the translators of the New Testament, especially when it came to the word Paraclete. How could they describe the Holy Spirit?

If you follow this blog regularly, then you know that I have two guest posts per week. I am so loving this! Hopefully, this has helped introduce many of you to some very good blogs, and I will continue this practice.

I’m posting a short story that I read on Brian C. Russell’s website earlier this week on a Saturday simply because, like all of the short stories I have read by him, it blew me away. I was first introduced to Brian’s work via a cartoon he writes, The Underfold I love that, too. But wow, can this guy write! Check it out:

His blood warmed my throat as I drank. It tasted of fruit, a sweet sensation lingered on my tongue. Eyes closed, I swallowed, not sure of what the next steps would be. Never before had anyone freely given of their blood for me to drink, nor anyone offer their flesh as sustenance.

This man, who did he think he was? He forgave, and never condemned anyone… Not even me.

That night is replayed in my mind every day. Of what he said at the table, how he knew it was me, but didn’t do anything to stop me. Of course, I know now. I know now that Jesus, the Son of God, was the messiah.

Running from the temple, the evil spirits descended upon me. Tormenting me in my anguish. “Betrayer!” they screeched.

Darkness swallowed my path, and glowing red eyes lit the shadows. A root grabbed my sandal and threw my body to the ground. I rolled onto my back, trying to catch my breath. One of the demons sat on my chest, compressing my lungs. His eyes hovered over mine. “You have just handed over the Messiah to us. We wanted to thank you for your services.”

Tears streamed down my face. “Just let me die.”

“Die?” He laughed, and a chorus of laughter echoed around me. “I am sorry, betrayer. You have been chosen for a much worse fate than death.”

“Lies! Torment me no more.”

“As I have said, we are here to thank you, not torment you, betrayer.”

I pushed to my feet and ran. Their laughter faded into the darkness and I came to a tree wrapped with vines. That was going to be the end. My end. I climbed onto the tree and looped a vine around my neck. I breathed deeply and jumped from the tree.

Everything blurred. I sputtered for breath. I groped at the vine to loose myself. Everything was gone.

Nothing greeted me. It wasn’t darkness, it wasn’t light. There was… nothing.

Then, Jesus appeared. Magnificent and new. “Judas, you have helped me fulfill my purpose in this world. You have endured a sacrifice that many will never understand.”

I sobbed. “Rabbi, I am sorry. Forgive me, Lord.”

He touched my neck with his hands. “Your sacrifice is wrapped in sin and greed. I knew the outcome, but you did not, yet you still performed it. Without your sin, there could be no forgiveness of sins.”

“Forgive me. Please.”

“You will roam this earth until the day I return again. You will never die until I come to judge all mankind.”

When I awoke, I lay in a field. A place of burial for foreigners. Stories were told of my death. Many embellished facts of my insides strewn across this very field.

Over the years, people have told me that the Lord works in mysterious ways. That sometimes, even what seems horrible is a blessing in disguise.

They have no idea.

I have lived to hear of Jesus’ death and resurrection, and now I can take part in that salvation. Someday.

Am I right, or am I right? Check out more of Brian’s writings here: Brian C. Russell

Well here we are again, people! It’s Friday, so it must be time for the long awaited Twitter update. Now, you high brow people can pretend to look down your nose at me, but I happen to know that Friday is one of my biggest traffic days. So, either you enjoy judging me or you enjoy my updates. Either way, I’m cool with that. This is purely for my own enjoyment. As always, backward order, most recent first. As always, I am THAT lazy.

AHEM! The best of me on Twitter:

And by “majestic birds of prey”, I mean buzzards eating what might be my neighbor’s cat.

Working on tomorrow’s post featuring majestic birds of prey.

@docmarkelliott “passive income on twitter”? What about passive-aggressive income? My mom would be all up in that!

Whaa, huh? I have over 300 followers? You people have horribly low standards.

@mabeswife What is Earth 2100? I’m not a geek. I just seem to attract them.

Okay, really leaving now.

Must…..leave…..house….and finish work!

Could the end times be near? Me thinks, yes.

Katdish featured on High Calling Blogs:

@PuriChristos “Weird” is a relative term, no?

@llbarkat Yes, well. It’ good to have goals. (Or so I’ve been told)

@br8kthru Now, Jason…I couldn’t have a twitter update w/o you in there somewhere!

@shrinkingcamel Oh, thank you Bradley. I’m completely undeserving, but I’ll take it.

@goodwordediting Ooooo! Are you kidding me? I really AM pseudo famous! YAY!

RT @badbanana: To me, the glass is half full. Yes, of doom and despair, but still.

Thinking of a blog post tomorrow. Gonna be short and sweet. I have buzzard pictures.

I know it’s not Friday, but follow this chick. She is stinking hilarious!: @asilannax

RT @asilannax: Verbal irony: it’s a diplomatic way of using the word “sarcastic”

@pwilson Are we having hair issues this morning, Pete?

@blogomomma Er, yeah…Great voice. That too.

@blogomomma and thanks for the heads up on dirty rocker Chris Daughtry! My first celebrity follow. I luv me some Chris Daughtry!

@blogomomma Oh yes. Tres ghettofabulous!

@pwilson Seriously, dude. How do you stay so thin? You’re ALWAYS eating!

@blogomomma You are so ghetto for a white woman.

@Helenatrandom Ewh, ewh, EWH!

@buzzbyannies Don’t hate me because I’m irresponsible and lazy. There’s so much more to hate me for.

Follow my friend @muchl8r. He’s my favorite cranky ho.

What the heck? How did I get so many followers so quickly? I’m sure I’ll cause someone to unfollow. The day is young!

@PeterPollock I did not mention Osteen to bring in more followers, but it did. Let me repeat: NOT A FAN!

And now I really need to get off the twitter (that’s what she said) Goodnight!

Dear New Followers: Thanks for the follow, really. But I think you need to know, I am NOT a fan of Joel Osteen. Not. At. All.

@xjkradicoolx No, I’m not @billycoffey. He’s a real live Virginia redneck that happens to be an excellent writer

Okay, goodnight twitter! Gotta get a few hours shut eye so I can enrich all your lives tomorrow!

Okay, swear – last time I shamelessly self promote myself (until tomorrow)

@CandySteele No! Twitter stole your twitter button! Farging Bastitches!

@ofmercy It’s not ironic. I happen to have been awarded an honorary man card. Therefore, I can go there.

@chrissulli Ooooo! “To Katdish – you complete me. Love, Dr. Keller” (or something like that.)

So, you think you’re a man, huh? Check THIS out:

@Helenatrandom I’m here, but only long enough to shamelessly self promote my blog. Then I gotta go to Target.

@Brian_Russell You should get that cookbook 101 Ways to Wok a Dog.

@CandySteele No. Stupid, stupid twitter buttons!

@muchl8r Well eat something already!

@chrissulli I know, right? You’re working on that autograph from Dr. Keller for me aren’t you?

@br8kthru as if your dork card was ever in question, Jason!

RT @tremendousnews: Don’t worry. I’ll never unfollow you. Not because I find your tweets valuable, more because of devastating laziness

@jewdacris4 Please clarify. You hate Mondays, or you hate all of us, or both?

RT @muchl8r: For the record, i am NOT the rain cloud that makes mean little animals. Get off it!
RT @jasonboyett: if at first you don’t succeed, maybe you shouldn’t be a tattoo artist.

@allofcraigslist I stand corrected.

@pwilson – for the record, that post was written by @billycoffey, not me. Although I am freakishly strong for a girl.

Go buy this book: http://jumboshrimpbook.wordpress.com/

@redclaydiaries I am simply attempting to enrich lives thru the power of social media. Also, I’m a twitter ho

@CandySteele @redclaydiaries I’ve got more half written posts than you’ve had hot meals.

@bryanallain I hope you include teenagers mauled by bears. One of my personal faves.

RT @TimMoore: Reminder – Twitter isn’t Craigslist. 🙂 (Um, yeah – exactly)

@redclaydiaries I’m not manic. I just have my low carb monster groove on!

@CandySteele @redclaydiaries You’re both slackers, and good morning Steph!

@weightwhat because you’re a twitter ho. Good morning ho!

@tremendousnews Based upon the number of new followers, your dinner has been upgraded to Hobbit Cafe from Whataburger.

Alright. Gotta go do some mindless painting. Another day another…oh I forget how much I’m charging for this job.

@tremendousnews and for whatever it’s worth, I mostly only RT your tweets. Consider yourself special.

@tremendousnews thanks. I big red monkey butt heart you!

RT @tremendousnews: Follow @katdish. She RTs pretty much anything. How much you wanna bet she’ll RT this as well?

@pwilson If the cops break up your golf game, you might be a redneck.

@candysteele, @helenatrandom, @redclaydiaries, @weightwhat, et. al. – What’s up? I am trying to stay off the twitter – need intervention

Going to the mall. Not looking forward to it. Friday night = mall gangstas

So I’m getting all the friend requests on facebook from people that think I’m really nice. Time to wrap that account up.

@JC_the_saviour Also, I would never make fun of you. This was a Jesus Cheeto. Very different. Have you seen the Jesus frying pan?

@JC_the_saviour Whoa. You’re a little shorter than what I had imagined.

@PuriChristos Spellbinding, no?

Are you writing this stuff down people?

So, I bought some Jalapeno Flavored Cheetos today. Question: If I found a Jesus Cheeto, would I pronounce it “Hay-Zoose”? Curious…

Have you seen the Jesus Cheeto?:

@oliveshoot Just pretend you’re famous. You know, be really rude to waitstaff and be drunk in public. Trust me, you’re golden!

@oliveshoot Well, since I am following you and you are following me, we are both SUPER COOL.

Off to carpool! Katdish – blogger, mother, wife and ROCKSTAR!

@br8kthru See, I have to try really hard not to think funny things, even in the most inappropriate circumstances. That’s how I roll.

@peaseplan Dude – “flippy floppies”? Unfollow!

Bonus Round Responses from some of my favorite Twitter Buddies:

@marni71: @katdish I wake each day and say that to the mirror…it does suck to not be you

@purichristos: @katdish So they give me my account back and you just go on about Jesus Cheeto?

@weightwhat: @katdish – What twitter buttons? I feel my twitter ho senses tingling…

@CandySteele: @katdish can’t you just autopromote since you do it a dozen times a day? twss

@redclaydiaries: @katdish Katdish is a twitter ho. -Stephanie Wetzel

@helenatrandom: @br8kthru katdish wants us to tweet funny stuff to include in her twitter post tomorrow. I am nothing if not delightfully helpful. And odd.

@br8kthru: @katdish how about a slight chuckle? Would that count?

@peterpollock: @katdish @redclaydiaries The shiny vampire thing sounds much more marketable 🙂

@shrinkingcamel: @katdish Course we missed you. Life on Tweet is not the same.

@billycoffey: @katdish Oh, wait. Deadliest Catch marathon. There goes the rest of my day…

@muchl8r: @katdish I’m not sure how the crap you do it. I’m still at like. . .30 or something?

I have a bunch more twitter buddies, but this is getting seriously, epically long. So I’ll catch up with those guys nex time!

And stop following me all you prosperity gospel types. I find you incredibly annoying. (In love, of course. Always in Christian love.)

I am so excited! My blogging buddy Bradley J. Moore from The Shrinking Camel did a write up on me over on the The High Calling Blogs. This is akin to William F. Buckly doing a write up on Larry the Cable Guy. But whatever, I’ll take it.

Thank you so much Bradley. I am honored. And your timing could not have been better, because all I had for today was some pictures of buzzards eating what may or may not have been our neighbor’s cat in our back yard:

Win-win.

In conclusion, I would just like to say:

I first started blogging in an attempt to gather all my long winded comments from other blogs into one place. Now, many of you whose blogs I frequent are saying, “How’s that working out for ya?” Well, shut up. I have a lot to say.

I am grateful to Jon Acuff for many things; for his friendship and for introducing me via his blog Stuff Christians Like to so many fantastic, funny, wonderful people. One of my favorites is Stacey and her husband who sometimes answers to Hucklebuck. Stacey’s Thoughts of Infertility is a online journal of sorts; helping lots of folks struggling with infertility. But it’s not only about that. I’ve said this before and I will say it again. No matter what the subject matter, if something is written from a writer’s heart I am a fan. I am a big fan of Stacey, and consider it a privilege to call her a friend. But enough of me, here’s Stacey:

If you read my blog regularly and have a good memory, you might remember that I have been studying the book of Philippians for the past few months. I wrote a post about it back in February when I first started attending the Bible study, and I can’t believe that 16 weeks have gone by! In the original post (“Perspective”), I wrote about how much I was looking forward to studying a book about “how to have joy no matter what.” Now, as I near the end of the study, I want to write about something I learned this week.

While studying the last chapter of Philippians, I took a long look at Phil. 4:6-7. “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” These are powerful verses, and I’ve been trying to soak them in. I know that I believe them, but how do I live it? How do I overcome my anxiety and truly live in peace?

One of the things that is so hard about the struggle with infertility and miscarriage is that it feels way too big for me. It is so far beyond anything I know how to handle. I’m not suggesting that it’s the hardest thing in the whole world by any means, but being pregnant six times and not being able to do anything to help those babies grow and thrive is incredibly hard. Watching each one slip away has been devastating for us. After almost eleven years of marriage, we still have no children to hold in our arms and fill up our home. Even now we are in a season of waiting, and we have no idea how long it will last. All of these facts are hard to ignore. I wake up every morning painfully aware of them. I don’t have a definite medical reason why this is happening. Although my doctors have identified and even corrected some problems over the years, we have no guarantee that I will ever deliver a baby. Sometimes I let the future scare me. Many times I let my circumstances rob me of my joy.

A few things clicked for me today as the Bible study led me to 2 Chronicles 20. I hope you’ll read the whole chapter, but here’s a recap:

Jehoshaphat (king of Judah) is warned of an impending attack. He immediately decides to inquire of the Lord. All of the people of Judah gather to seek the Lord’s help, and Jehoshaphat leads them in prayer. For me, the highlight of this king’s prayer is in 2 Chron. 20:12: “We have no power to face this vast army that is attacking us. We do not know what to do, but our eyes are upon you.” Okay, now this I understand! Although I don’t have a vast army threatening my life today, I do feel utterly powerless against my foe. I have no idea what to do other than keep my eyes on the Lord.

When we read further, we learn that God spoke through one of the men in the assembly. Here is what is recorded in verses 15 and 17: “This is what the Lord says to you: ‘Do not be afraid or discouraged because of this vast army. For the battle is not yours, but God’s. You will not have to fight this battle. Take up your positions, stand firm and see the the deliverance the Lord will give you, O Judah and Jerusalem. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged. Go out to face them tomorrow, and the Lord will be with you.'”

The people of Judah not only obeyed God; they sang and praised Him BEFORE they knew the outcome. Of course, God came through on His promise and the people rejoiced. In verse 30, we find Jehoshaphat’s kingdom at peace because “God had given him rest on every side.”

As I studied today it became clear what in the world these verses have to do with the fourth chapter of Philippians. What was the result of the people’s obedience?

1. They rejoiced in what the Lord had done.
2. They recognized God’s power and strength.
3. They rested in His peace.

Philippians 4:6-7: “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”

I don’t know what to do as my battle with infertility continues. The people of Judah were told to take up their positions and to stand firm. Yes, I have a part to play that is not entirely passive, but ultimately the result is out of my hands, and I’m okay with that as long as the battle is God’s. I want to keep my eyes on Him, rest in His peace, and rejoice no matter what the outcome will be.

*All verses are quoted from the NIV. If you want to know more about this Bible study, click here: Precept Ministries

If you would like to read more from Stacey (and you really should – she’s awesome), visit her at Stacey’s Thoughts of Infertility.

The girl sat at home alone; at least without human company, but the family cat was there.

At 10, she had become an expert at faking a sick day. The truth was she didn’t want to go to school. She had always been a bit of a square peg, and now with her family still reeling from a bitter divorce, facing her school friends with their in-tact families seemed a bit too daunting for a Monday. Money was tight for a single mother of four, especially when said mother happened to be employed as a waitress. A day off to care for a sick child was not really an option when you worked for tips.

Her mother reluctantly left her youngest child home alone, knowing there were neighbors next door and across the street the girl could call in case of an emergency.

The girl was enjoying her solitude. She was ordinarily a talkative, outgoing child, but lately wasn’t really feeling that way. She was perfectly content with the company of the television and the family cat, Nicky.

Nicky was another matter. After an expensive series of treatments for feline leukemia, he was finally in remission. He represented the life before her dad announced (on Christmas day, no less) that he was leaving. Nicky was a reminder of a family unbroken – Dad, Mom, sisters, brother, dog and cat. Perhaps that was too much to expect from a cat, but as the girl sat there with the cat purring in her lap, she felt comforted.

That is, until the cat fell from her lap and onto the floor. He began to pant and become limp. Terrified, she did the first thing that came to her mind. She called Mrs. Jones.

The Jones family lived two doors down. Their youngest daughter was friends with the girl’s older sister. They were a good, Christian family who always seemed to be doing something for someone else. Mrs. Jones was one of the kindest, most sincere people that the girl had ever met in her young life. Even though the neighbors obviously knew what was going on in that house, the girl never felt judged or pitied by Mrs. Jones – only loved.

The girl dialed the Jones house, said something incoherent into the phone through her tears and hung up. Mrs. Jones was there in a matter of minutes. She embraced the young girl and told her it was going to be okay. She then calmly wrapped the cat into a towel, and walked with the girl and the cat the short distance to her driveway.

The girl sobbed quietly on the way to the vet. She knew that Nicky would not be making the return ride home in the car. Alas he did not, but Mrs. Jones was there. And somehow that made the ride home much more bearable.

In case you haven’t figured it out yet, that little girl was me. As I sat at the funeral of Mrs. Jones over 30 years later, I reflected upon how on that day and on countless other days for countless other people, her kindess and love reflected the Love of Christ. She really understood about that kind of love. I am so grateful for people in my life like Mrs. Jones.

Four years ago…

It started the way most good stories do, over lunch with a friend. This particular friend was named Charlie, an iron-fisted brawler disguised as a nerdy engineer who worked in the building next to mine.

“You should stop by tonight,” he said. “Great workout. It’ll make a man out of you.”

“I’m already a man,” I answered.

Charlie nodded and said, “Maybe. You ever been punched?”

“No.”

He put his fork down, looked me in the eye, and said, “A man never knows what he’s made of until he gets punched.”

I didn’t know what that meant, but it sounded philosophical enough to get my attention. “I’ll be there,” I told him.

All true boxing gyms are located in much the same place—the nearest poor neighborhood of the nearest city (you’ve seen Rocky III, right?). Which made getting there from the quiet confines of the country an adventure in itself. Charlie had warned me that the gym was much more old school than new, and he was right. There was no heat, no air, and no bathroom. There was merely a ring, several punching bags, dirty mirrors for shadowboxing, and a bucket to throw up in when the trainers pushed you that far. Written in bright red letters above the ring were the words JESUS SAVES.

It was, in a word, perfect.

I met with Charlie, the fighters who were warming up, and the trainers. “Gotta hand it to you,” the head trainer said. “Takes stones to show up the first time on sparring night.”

“Sparring night?” I asked. I looked at Charlie, who had looked away. I could see the smile on his face, though.

“You’re getting’ in the ring, right?” the trainer asked me.

Gettin’ in the ring? No, I was not gettin’ in the ring. I was not stupid.

“Yeah, I’m gettin’ in,” I said. Because macho manliness trumps stupidity every day of the week and twice on Thursday.

“Good,” the trainer said. “You can get in with me, then.”

Charlie looked at me with a look that was part humor and part Oh, boy.

“What?” I asked him.

“Nothing,” he said. “You’ll be fine.”

I stared at him.

“He won Tough Man last year,” he confessed. “But don’t worry.”

Don’t worry. Famous last words of rednecks everywhere. On par with Hey ya’ll, watch this!

So. Into the ring.

Charlie adjusted my headgear and said, “Move. Don’t forget that.”

I nodded.

“And keep your hands up. Block and punch. Make your defense offense.”

I nodded again.

He checked my gloves and wiped them against his T shirt. “And for the love of God Almighty, keep your chin down. You expose that chin, and you’re a goner.”

“I ain’t goin’ down,” I said, and smiled to prove it. “So what is this, sparring or more?”

Charlie looked across the ring, paused, and said, “He’ll let you know. And wipe that smirk off your face. This will not be fun for you.”

“What makes you think—”

And that’s all I managed to say. I was silenced by Charlie shoving my mouthpiece in and yelling “Time!”

We met in the center of the ring (“Hands up,” Charlie shouted. “Move…move!”), touched gloves, and nodded to one another.

I’d taken plenty of martial arts, and sparring in a dojo was very controlled and normally done at half-speed. But this wasn’t a dojo, and I wasn’t sure what I was supposed to do.

“So,” I said to the trainer, circling him, “what am I—”

SMACK!!

He threw a jab that managed to sneak between my headgear and connect with my nose. And it was not at half-speed. It was so fast I didn’t see his hand until he was pulling it away from my face.

“Move!” Charlie shouted.

SMACK-SMACK-SMACK!

Jab-jab-cross.

“Don’t stand there, do something!”

Boxing is controlled violence. It is technique. It is the mastery of punches and angles that are honed to precision by countless hours of training. Anger won’t get you through ten rounds in the ring.

It will, however, get you through one. Because when that right cross snuck through my headgear and cut my eye, I got mad. Very.

He threw another jab, but I slipped it to the left and threw a hook into his side and another to the side of his head. His eyes widened a bit, and Charlie yelled, “Yes! Stick and move! Thirty seconds!”

I learned that night that thirty seconds in a boxing ring is a lot longer than thirty seconds outside of one. Because it felt like we stood in the middle of that ring pounding on each other for an eternity.

“Time!” Charlie shouted. Finally.

We stood there in the middle of the ring, smiling. “Awesome,” the trainer said.

Awesome indeed.

That gym was my home away from home for a while, but in the end family and a lack of time forced me to quit. But there’s still a heavy bag in our exercise room, and I still go a few rounds on it every night.

Because Charlie was right. You don’t know what you’re made of until you get punched. And whether that punch comes by standing in the middle of a boxing ring or the middle of a life, you survive the same way. You keep your chin down, you keep moving, and you never stop swinging.

We’re all going to get hit sooner or later. It’s a given in this world. But I know this. I can take a punch. I’ve taken many. But I can give one, too.

To read more from Billy Coffey, visit him at What I Learned Today