Katdish.net

Excerpt from Duma Key by Stephen King:

How to Draw a Picture (Part 5)

Don’t be afraid to experiment; find your muse and let her lead you. As her talent grew stronger, Elizabeth’s muse became Noveen, the marvelous talking doll. Or so she thought. And by the time she discovered here mistake — by the time Noveen’s voice changed — it was too late. But at first it must have been wonderful. Finding one’s muse always is.

Must your muse be a person? Well, it certainly can be, but it doesn’t have to be.

Your muse can be the questions you need answered or pain you want to make sense of. It can be the parts of your life you’ve just glanced over but never really delved into. Your children’s future can be your muse; your own peace of mind.

In short, your muse is what inspires you to create when you’re not feeling particularly creative; to work when you’d rather sleep, to promote yourself when you’d rather just find a quiet place to hide away from the world.

So, what drives me to create? Different things in different circumstances. But if I’m being honest (and I usually am), what drives me is the something my dad told me over and over as a child. Before I get into this, I need to tell you that my dad and I have a very good relationship now, and I don’t hold any ill will towards him. Forgiveness is a gift you give yourself. But I digress…

His philosophy was anything worth doing is worth doing well. Which I believe is a true and noble directive. His paraphrasing of that expression is what has caused me to struggle with overcoming some obstacles, the biggest of which was self doubt. I still struggle with that. I think we all do to a certain extent. So, what were my dad’s exact words? These:

“If you going to do something half-ass, don’t do it at all!”

Adults often make the mistake of assuming children think the way they do. When I heard that statement, my first thought was, “Okay. I won’t do it at all.” So things that were difficult for me I simply avoided. I convinced myself that I wasn’t really good at anything. But God knew better. I suppose I’m a bit of a later bloomer. I didn’t really know what I was good at creatively until my thirties. I spent a whole lot of years simply existing, not living. But somewhere along the line a passion for art in many forms was ignited. It’s scary, and difficult at times, but living is so much more fulfilling than existing, don’t you think?

So…find your muse yet?

You know what I’ve figured out lately? Good writers attract other good writers. So, it should come as no surprise to that I first found Travis Inman through Billy Coffey’s blog. Lots of good writers over there. You should really link back to some of their blogs if you get a chance to do so.

Travis and I have a couple of things in common. We share the same birthday (August 5, in case you’re wondering) and we’ve both spent a good part of our lives in Texas. We’ve also both read the Harry Potter’s series. (Don’t judge us – they were GOOD!) He also hails from around where my husband grew up. He doesn’t currently reside in Texas, but I’m sure he’ll get back here as soon as he can. Here’s a great short story from him:

Two members of the Snake River Water District cautiously approached an old log cabin, knocked on the door, and waited patiently for the noise of movement within. A dubious old man opened the door and demanded to know their business. In his hands was a shotgun.

“Excuse me sir, my name is Reynolds and this is Joe Shaw. We are with the Water District. May we have a moment of your time?”

The shotgun edged toward them. “Are you folks from the government? I don’t cotton to G-Men.”

Reynolds shook his head, “No sir, not really. You see, we are dam inspectors.” As he spoke, he pointed at the enormous dam stretching across the horizon.

“Sounds like government men to me. I don’t rightly care if you are dam inspectors or not. I get government men back here all the time, harassing me for all manner of business.”

Reynolds was a patient man, he had dealt with backwoods people most of his life and he could appreciate their skepticism. In fact, he truly admired country folk for their wit and sensibility. He decided to humor the old man for a moment. “What types of government men have come to see you?”

The old man rolled tobacco in his jaw and spat into a spittoon next to a rocking chair, narrowly missing Shaw’s fancy hiking boots. “Well, some ten or twenty years ago, the Census Bureau showed up asking questions.”

“What kind of questions?” Reynolds liked the old man and enjoyed chatting with him.

“You see, he starts off by saying, ‘the US Government has sent me all the way back here to find out how many people live in the United States.’ I told him that I was sorry that he came all the way back here, ‘cause I didn’t know how many people live in the United States. Then I helped him find his way back to the highway when he kept on badgerin’ at me.” He cocked his head over at Shaw and inadvertently tilted the shotgun towards him. Shaw swallowed hard. “You ain’t from these parts, are you, Fancy Boots?”

Shaw looked down at the old man, “Heck no! I live in…”

Reynolds jumped in, stealing a sour glance at Shaw, “We both work for the Water District.” Reynolds turned his attention back to the old man. “I’m sorry that folks have been pestering you for nonsense like that, but we aren’t with the government. Like I said, we are dam inspectors.”

“Is that so?” He lowered the shotgun and demanded, “So what’s your business with me?”

“I’m glad you asked. We’ve been looking the dam over and believe that it will bust loose, and soon, I might add.” He pointed over at the center of the dam, “See that bulge there in the middle?”

He peered past them, “It’s been there for more than three years.” They turned and looked at it as if he were presenting new evidence to consider.

“Yes, sir, and I believe that the dam will break any day now.”

“Well, what about it?”

“Your cabin lies in the flood plain.”

“Flood plain?” the old man repeated.

Joe Shaw decided to wade into the conversation. “The flood plain is where the water will go when the dam bursts.” (His accent caused him to say, boists.) “Your house will be washed away.”

The shotgun lifted at him. “Listen here, Sonny. I ain’t as stupid as you look. It just so happens that I have an engineering degree from Harvard. So don’t speak unless you are spoken to, understand?” Shaw swallowed again and nodded in approval. “Now then, where were we? Oh yeah, my house was about to be washed away into parts unknown.”

Reynolds continued after a repeated dirty look at Shaw. “Correct. I believe that the dam is very weak and will lose its integrity in a matter of days. The bulge has been growing daily for the last week and we are organizing an evacuation as we speak.”

“Is that a fact? Well, it just so happens that I don’t believe you.”

“You don’t?” Reynolds was surprised.

“Why not?” Shaw was met with the shotgun again and he backed up a few steps to a better position. This time the old man missed when he spit at the cuspidor and splattered Shaw’s boot.

“No sir, if you really believed your own story, you wouldn’t be here talking to me. You would be running to safety.”

“You have a good point, but you missed one fact.”

“Oh?” The shotgun lowered.

“Duty.”

“Duty? What in tar-nation does duty have to do with anything?”

“As a fellow American, it is my duty to point out any dangers to our citizens and issue them a fair warning of an impending disaster. I wouldn’t have any honor if I simply ran away without sounding the alarm.”

The shotgun was almost pointing at the floor now. “Nope, you ain’t with the government, that’s for sure. All right, you’ve said your piece, now move on.”

“But sir, I’m here to help you evacuate. What good is it for me to warn you about danger without offering you a solution to your problems? I want to save you, if I can.”

The old man shook his head, “Won’t be necessary. I ain’t leaving.”

“Do you mind if I ask why not?”

“Yes!” He shouted, then he sighed, “Look, I’ve lived right here in this spot for my entire life. I’m too old to change now. Heck, it’s probably too late for me anyway. I live too far away from safety; I’m too close to the dam. It’s too late.”

“It’s never too late to be saved from destruction.”

“Maybe so, but if I leave, I will loose everything I have.”

“Ah, but there’s good news!” Reynolds was excited, “because of the danger and the liability, the Snake River Water District will move you to a brand new house, at no cost to you.”

“Brand new…” he mulled it over for a moment, “Nope. I ain’t in the habit of accepting charity.”

“But sir, it’s not charity. And, there are no strings attached. You can pick up your old life here and turn it into a brand new one, just over there.” He pointed up river behind the dam, beyond the impending danger.

The old man shook his head, “Thanks, but no.”

“Please sir! I’m begging you! Don’t be a fool!”

The shotgun lifted again. “It’s my choice as to whether or not I want to be a fool. Besides, that old dam has held up for years. It will probably last to the end of my life.”

Dejected, Reynolds and Shaw turned and started walking away. “Well, you tried, we aren’t accountable for him anymore,” Shaw mused.

“Maybe so, but that doesn’t change the way I feel about my mission. Come on, there are more people who live down by the dam.”

“We need to get out of here. That dam will blow any minute.”

Reynolds nodded. “And we have a lot of people to save before it’s too late.”

On the front porch, sitting in his rocker, the old man studied the dam. A large bulge protruded from it near the center. “It will probably hold. It always has.”

To read more from Travis, visit him at his website, Travis Winman

I don’t believe in karma, feng shui, ying and yang or any of that other tree hugging, crystal gripping hippie crap. But sometimes when a series of unfortunate events seem to get all bunched together, I feel the need to get my cranky ho on and gripe a little.

Do you see where this is going? I think you do…

Sunday afternoon, we drove our daughter to her very first girl scout camping adventure: horse camp. She was a bit teary eyed the night before, but once we arrived at camp and she realized that she would be bunking with most of her brownie troop, she relaxed and gave us all (including her older brother whom she had just informed she would not miss) a smile, kiss and big hug goodbye.

Anyone who has any experience with Girl Scouts understands that the key to any enjoyable camping trip is copious amounts of paperwork filled out by the girls’ parents before said trip. Presidential pardons have been granted with less paperwork. Can I get a witness, Beth? (Editor’s note: I should point out that the “Beth” I am referring to is geeky church planter Beth. As it seems there is a plethora of Beths that read this blog. But I digress…)

I spent the better part of 2 days searching for the necessary documentation to assure the Girl Scout Gestapo that my 7 year old daughter did not pose a threat to herself or others at horse camp. I even brought all the paperwork on a clipboard, just in case I filled out something wrong. (I did, but it was a minor infraction.) The only thing I did not complete, BECAUSE SOMEONE FORGOT TO PUT IT IN MY PACKET was the camp physical release form to be signed by our family physician.

Again, do you see where this is going? Uh, huh. Thought so…

The camp director was kind enough to allow our daughter to stay at the camp overnight, provided we have our doctor’s office fill out the form and fax it to the camp the following morning.

Early yesterday morning, I drove the 20 miles from my house to our GP and presented the form to the receptionist, who in turn informed me that my daughter had not had a physical in two years, and the doctor would not sign the form. Sucktacular.

Guess who drove 70 miles to pick up her daughter at camp, drove 70 miles back to the doctor’s office, waited impatiently for the doctor (whose time is apparently WAY more valuable than mine), got the stupid form signed, then drove another 70 miles, dropped off her daughter at camp AGAIN, filled up her gas guzzling non-environmental friendly SUV with gas, then drove (you guessed it – 70 miles) back home?

That would be yours truly. All I want to know is, WHO FORGOT TO PUT THAT STUPID FORM IN MY PACKET?!?

I promise, I forgive you. But I want to punch you in the neck!

In Christian love, of course…always in love.

P.S. – Driving on Interstate 45 at 5:00 pm on a Monday? Don’t EVEN get me started….

On March 24, 2009, I was reading my friend Jason’s blog when I noticed a comment from someone named Billy Coffey. I had seen his blog on Jason’s sidebar before, but never clicked over there. I have enough trouble keeping up the blogs on MY sidebar, let alone everyone else’s. But for whatever reason, I clicked over there. What I found was an incredible, wonderful story about a wise grandmother who taught a very profound truth to her grandson using a fruit salad as an object lesson. Like so many of you reading this, I was completely hooked. To show my appreciation for the writer’s talent, I left the following comment:

“Your grandmother was a very wise woman, indeed.
And you dropped the “f” bomb on her? Jerk!
Just kidding — that was a great post! Glad I found my way over here!”

And that, my friends was the start of a beautiful friendship. I’m still a little overwhelmed that Billy agreed to guest post for me not only once, but every single Monday. Someday soon when he’s a bonafide published author, he probably won’t have time to write for this silly little blog. But knowing him, I’ll have to refuse to post anything from him. Because he would rather wear himself ragged then let down a friend. As impressed as I am with his stories, I’m more impressed with the storyteller. And I’m proud to call him a friend.

Happy Birthday, Billy. May you get everything you wish for this year.

What will I learn over the next few months? Who knows. But katdish was kind enough to let me post one of my favorite songs below, and I know this. Regardless, I’m going to enjoy my trip around the sun.

The internet is a vast. At the same time, within that expanse, I find myself stumbling across people over and over again. I think I first saw Aaron Saufley’s name when he left a comment on Vince Antonucci’s blog about a year ago. I would see his name here and there on different blogs, but for some reason never found my way over to his until a few months ago. Anyway, long story short, I dig Aaron’s heart for the Gospel of Christ. We have some similar viewpoints when it comes to the church. He recently wrote and published a book. When I asked him if he would like to guest post here and introduce his book to my readers, he graciously accepted. So, here’s Aaron in his own words:

I’m a church planter from Harrisonburg, VA (home of the JMU Dukes). My wife and I met in college. We moved back to VA to plant a church. Several years ago, we transitioned the church to a network of house churches. Several months ago, we moved to Greenville, NC (home of the East Carolina University Pirates) to be closer to my wife’s family. The moment we knew God was leading to move to NC, I knew I would no longer be a “professional minister.” So I transitioned the leadership at our church, we packed up the U-Haul, and moved. I’m now a hospice chaplain, and we’re laying the groundwork for our first house church in Greenville. Along with being a husband, I’m the father of three beautiful girls; 7, 3, and the last of which will arrive around Halloween.

My new book “The Jumbo Shrimp Gospel” was inspired by a conversation I had with my 7 year old. I read her the part of Jesus’ sermon on the plain in Luke 6 where Jesus talked about turning the other cheek and getting naked when someone takes your shirt (yeah, that’s what he said). After I explained it to her, she said, “Dad, that’s stupid!” My kid just called Jesus stupid.

And she’s right.

The life of an agent of the kingdom of God goes against the grain of everything we hold dear. We desire safety, security, and comfort. The gospel of the kingdom of God calls us to risk, danger, and suffering. Like the phrase “jumbo shrimp”, the gospel is oxymoronic. It doesn’t make sense, but it’s divinely brilliant.

“The Jumbo Shrimp Gospel” explores the oxymoronic nature of the gospel of the kingdom of God, as well as how we’re to live it out. From the losers God used to accomplish his purposes, to Jesus’ incarnation; from the nobodies Jesus called to follow Him, to how His death and resurrection secured salvation for mankind (and that’s just for starters). “The Jumbo Shrimp Gospel” challenges our assumptions about church, as well as what it means to live on mission with Jesus.

So grab a side of cocktail sauce and get a heapin’ helpin’ of Jumbo Shrimp.

You can read more from Aaron on his blog, The Road Less Traveled. You can also order a copy of Jumbo Shrimp Gospel by clicking on the link on the left sidebar of this blog.

I originally posted this list way back on May 18, 2008 when I had a reader base in the low to mid single digit range. Still, it continues to be in the top 5 topics that shows up in Google Analytics under keyword searches. And since, try as I may, I don’t seem to be offending near enough people on this blog, I figured a good tithing post would most certainly do that. Talking about God and money tends to rub people the wrong way sometimes. I will say that different folks have different views about tithing. Feel free to express your opinions here openly. (Like you don’t do that already.) But for me, I honestly believe what it says in Luke 12:48:

But the one who does not know and does things deserving punishment will be beaten with few blows. From everyone who has been given much, much will be demanded; and from the one who has been entrusted with much, much more will be asked.

And while this particular verse does not pertain to tithing in particular, there are many places in the bible that do. I personally think tithing is biblical, and that to trust God over finances is a true leap of faith. Now, on to the list:

Top Ten Reasons not to Tithe:

1. I’m trying to pay off my credit cards.
2. I’m not completely comfortable with how the church chooses to budget its funds.
3. I’m sick of hearing sermons about tithing. It’s like we’re being pressured into giving, and that makes me uncomfortable.
4. I tithe my time. I work in the nursery/kids church/donut committee every week.
5. I give to other charities.
6. I’m confused about whether 10% means “net” or “gross”.
7. I’m unclear about how the money is spent and where the church tithes their money.
8. I’m working towards the 10%; I’ll get there eventually.
9. The church needs to spend money on (insert need here) instead of wasting it on (insert unnecessary ministry here)!
10. I just don’t see how giving money to church equates to giving money to God. God doesn’t need my money.

    Why You Should Tithe:
    
    – It’s all His anyway. It’s not about you.

Okay, big week on the twitter. Matt @ the Church of No People who proclaimed that he would NOT be on the twitter via his blog is now, in fact, on the twitter. Why? Well, I cannot prove this beyond a reasonable doubt, but I think the last straw was when I told Pete Wilson via twitter than Matt had a secret man crush on him, after which Pete left a comment on his blog. Never doubt the power of obnoxiousness. It is magic, I tell you. MAGIC!

I also somehow managed to surpass 500 followers. How? The old fashioned way, people — one annoying tweet at a time.

And, of course — sometime yesterday morning, @helenatrandom, @weightwhat, @candysteele and @katdish embarked on a journey to make hash tag history by clogging up the twitter with #youmightbeatwitterho. I was going to post them all here, but frankly, I don’t have that kind of time, so here’s the link: Trending Topics: You Might be a Twitter Ho.

I promised myself I would keep this update to 100 tweets or less, even though I had…a bunch more than that. So, without further adieu,

The best (or not) of me on the Twitter:

1. If you give up trying to cut and paste all the twitter ho references and just decide to link the trending topic, #youmightbeatwitterho

2. Irony: I have to stay off the twitter because…I have to write a post about being on the twitter.
3. Facebook Friends: It’s not you. It’s me. Long term relationships consisting of over 140 characters smother me. But we can still be friends

4. @weightwhat You’re exhausting. Sort of like me…

5. @weightwhat Too early for what? Art or cross dressing men?

6. @Helenatrandom Because no one wants to see a man in a bikini.

7. @buzzbyannies @CandySteele @weightwhat Can you people wait for me to get on the twitter before you start these conversations?

8. RT @jerdavcpa: @katdish I think I will name them monkeybutt, iluvkatdish, lookachicken, and notdaughtrey

9. @billycoffey I broke 500. Jealous much?

10. @ofmercy Thank you Jon! Why are you so nice to me? Nevermind. I’ll take it!

11. Absolutely nothing. And will most likely unfollow me soon after.

12. I’ve gotta go to praise team practice. My 500th follower will receive……

13. @CandySteele And just to tell you, I’m 4 away from 500 followers, so the fact that @ronsteele7 won’t follow me is a bitter pill to swallow.

14. @CandySteele Well yes. I would know that they appreciate my genius.

15. @prodigaljohn Okay, PJ. Definitely seeing some improvements in the tweets. Keep it up, and I may stop calling you PJ.

16. RT @asilannax: I celebrated Canada Day in a very American way. That is to say, I cooked a frozen pizza and ate a piece the size of my head

17. RT @jewdacris4: RT @katdish: If your standards are embarrassingly low, you should follow me. ;no wonder i’m one of her twitter followers

18. @ylnt I like a good box wine. April was an excellent month.

19. However, I am considering all offers to publish my book: “Making your Mark: How to write long, annoying comments on other people’s blogs”

20. Five more followers before I reach 500. I am excited, and I don’t know why. I’m not selling anything.

21. @ProfessionalOne That was really sweet…in a cyberstalkerish sort of way.

22. RT @ProfessionalOne: @ofmercy Can I follow @katdish twice? 🙂

23. I am now at 492 followers. I’m going to interface with the non-virtual people. If I break 500 by the time I’m back, then hey! good for me!

24. If, like Allanis Morrisette, you don’t truly grasp the definition of “Ironic”, #youmightbecanadian

25. If you sometimes refer to the 48 states as “upper mexicans”, #youmightbecanadian

26. If you know Canadian history enough to know that Manitoba means literally “many tubas”, #youmightbecanadian

27. If you’re like regular white people only slower #youmightbecanadian

28. RT @tremendousnews: If there was a point in your life where you were jealous of someone’s toboggan, #youmightbecanadian

29. @PeterPollock Well, dang Peter! I’m about to call it a night. Where have you been? Storming the castle?

30. @CandySteele Do you doubt that I could win that argument? Me thinks not.

31. What the???? I have almost 500 followers? You people have horribly low standards.

32. @weightwhat I’m going to have to penalize you 10 yards for using the term “tweeps”

33. @HerbieGookins Goodnight Beth! You big dork!

34. @CandySteele Yeah. We are SO easily amused by ourselves!

35. Have you been looking for a blog completely devoted to tacky decorative pigs? My friend, your search is over:

36. @PeterPollock I think Brad Lomenick was mildly offended in Atlanta when I made him pose for a picture with a paper doll.

37. @bryanallain I don’t really get free tickets. They pay me not to show up.

38. @bryanallain You have to pay for you Catalyst tickets? Must suck being you…

39. @weightwhat Don’t fear me. Unless you leave an anonymous comment on my blog. Then, fear me indeed.

40. Go Katdish. A phrase I’ve often heard uttered…but not in a good way.

41. RT @TonyCToday: @katdish That’s awesome! I’ve already added him…go Katdish!

42. RT @weightwhat: RT@StephenAtHome why does census ignore america’s vampires? join me in my chant for justice: count dracula! count dracula!

43. @davidgs Yes you are! Embrace your cranky ho-ness!

44. AHEM! @MattTcoNP (Matt @ the Church of No People) is now on the twitter. All together now: Katdish, you were right!

45. @bryanallain Tyler and me. It should be Tyler and me. Love, the grammar police.

46. @PuriChristos @billycoffey @buzzbyannies @Helenatrandom @weightwhat @CandySteele Did you hear? Matt finally caved and is on the twitter.

47. RT @tsbailey: Tuesday is just Monday without as much bitterness.

48. Mmm, hmm. Thought so…

49. That would be the same Matt at the Church of No people who swore he would not cave.

50. For those of you who doubted my ability to completely wear someone down and get my way, @matttconp is now on the twitter!

51. Who doubted me, huh? That’s right…@mattTconp has caved! Follow him, and tell him I sent you! (That will really annoy him.)

52. @mattTconp Welcome to the twitter! Told you I always get what I want…

53. @PuriChristos @Helenatrandom @weightwhat I am tired! My post goes up in 2 minutes. I think a couple of buttcracks are still missing-meh.

54. How do I get a celebrity endorsement for my upcoming book: How to leave long, annoying comments on other people’s blogs?

55. Husband: Why were you up so late? Me: I was re-inserting buttcracks into my blog post. Husband: (rolling his eyes at me)

56. Did @candysteele unfollow me? Or is she just ignoring me? I feel like @weightwhat to @billycoffey

57. Sorry, folks! @Helenatrandom loves Jesus, but she drinks a little!

58. @billycoffey What? I just got here! I’ve hardly abused you at all today!

59. Where is @purichristos when I need him? I can’t get the buttcrack key to work in my blog post!

60. @Helenatrandom You are adorably annoying Helen!

61. @Helenatrandom No! Long live the monkey butt!

62. I don’t have a clue what to write about for tomorrow. So, am I taking a day off? No. I’ll post something incredibly stupid.

63. Oh..wait. Different kind of pub. Nevermind…

64. Don’t eat the shelled peanuts they leave out on the bar. They reuse the ones from the night before. #PubTip

65. Wisdom from my mother: “It’s not gossip if it’s true!” (I wish I was joking.)

66. @shrinkingcamel I’m. Eating. Cantelope.

67. @ofmercy Magnificant? Yeah. Okay. If you say so…

68. As long as you have not grasped that you have to die to grow, you are a troubled guest on a dark earth – Mircea Eliade

69. @shrinkingcamel ALSO? I CRACK MYSELF UP!!!

70. @shrinkingcamel I LIKE TO TYPE IN ALL CAPS AND USE EXCLAMATION POINTS! THIS DENOTES THE IMPORTANCE OF MY WORDS!!!!!!!!!

71. @PeterPollock @Brian_Russell @Helenatrandom Yeah. I don’t know. I’m practicing avoidance in hopes it goes away.

72. @bryanallain I actually have a trash can completely devoted to lint. I offered it to @stacyasmallsfl, so far – no response.

73. @pwilson – Check this out. Matt @ the Church of No People called you HAWT!

74. @br8kthru You’re welcome. How are you doing?

75. @beckfromfrogandtoad Vicious cycle, no?

76. RT @beckfromfrogandtoad: Why am I on Twitter? Because I am writing. And why is writing taking me so long? Because I AM ON TWITTER.

77. Lo Carb ice cream on sale at Kroger, so I bought 20 1/2 gallons. They say love has no pride & apparently, neither do I.

78. Dear Yoville: I got your emails. We’ve just grown apart. It’s not you. It’s me.

79. RT @tsbailey: Sometimes I just get to the point where my socks annoy me with their tightness. Off with you, oppressors of freedom.

80. @buzzbyannies Oh, shut up Annie.

81. But, hey. You know what really fun to do outside here in the summertime? Absolutely nothing.

82. RT @weightwhat: Now that Billy Mays has passed away, I may never buy another product that I have absolutely no use for.

83. @ScottHenson My cousin is a vegan, but she’s got some fine leather shoes. She told me you have to draw the line somewhere. Huh…

84. @chrissulli Also? Do you know why they always have riots at soccer games? Because there’s nothing better to do!

85. @chrissulli OH NO YOU DI-ENT just say that to me!

86. It’s very exciting keeping up with a soccer game via the twitter. Yeah. Not really. Soccer is boring.

87. @PeterPollock Ah, thanks Peter. I do try to encourage my pastor buds when I’m not teasing them mercilessly.

88. @asilannax Sorry. I’m already taken. Also? We’re both women.

89. Huh….@pwilson just unfollowed me. What gives?

90. @pwilson Ooo! What time? What’s the number to call? I have GREAT questions!

91. @MichaelHyatt Yeah. I made a few calls. You’re welcome.

92. @PuriChristos Yes. I saw that. No biggie. I’m all up in inappropriate. Okay. My dog needs to pee. Y’all don’t talk about me while I’m gone.

93. @billycoffey And since when are you a redneck and I’m not? I’m just a fancier redneck.

@billycoffey Oh, says who? That’s a pretty bold statement. I have grudges older than you!

94. @weightwhat I can’t keep up with you. Yes, the garage is finished. 2 cars fit in there. Who knew?

5. @weightwhat twitter ho telepathy – ACTIVATE!

96. @weightwhat but I thought it might be a bit creepy for a 40 something mother of 2 to ask a 16 year old for a picture.

97. @weightwhat Ooo! I was at a wedding today, and I swear, one of the teenager there looked like Edward Cullen. I was going to snap a pic,

98. @authorjjhebert Oh, let’s just go with man-boy.

9. @authorjjhebert Still…A man needs a drill.

100. @authorjjhebert How could possibly not have a drill?