The Return of the Pornographic Cheese Butler

It was sort of stroll down memory lane on the twitter this week. The topic of an old post of mine came up (I do not heart grocery shopping – which was the introduction of the Pornographic Cheese Butler), and after tweeting with @marni71 and @HelenatRandom, for some reason I thought it would be a good idea to sell muumuus with heart-shaped monkey butts on the back. Yeah…I’m weird. But you probably already figured that out by now.

The best of me (or not) on the twitter this week:

Sigh…I should probably go for awhile. I got my eliptical (sp?) trainer back yesterday. So far, so good. No clothes hanging off of it yet.

@Helenatrandom @weightwhat must be giving google kickbacks. Perhaps in bra snacks…

@br8kthru Do you know what that pathetic apology needs? A ham sandwich… (in reply to br8kthru @marni71 sorry, how about this: PLEASE OH PLEASE OH PLEASE OH PLEASE TELL ME YOUR STORY? PLEASE? any better?)

RT @marni71: @br8kthru That didn’t sound enthusiastic enough. I rescind the offer. Go eat your sandwich you dream crusher.

Yeah…I have a lot of free time…

So, I googled PCB, and @weightwhat ‘s post came up first: Are bra snacks kosher?

@marni71 You know…the true pioneers in any field are never appreciated until they’re gone. I feel their pain. (in reply to marni71 And NOW I’m being followed by cross-stitchers and people who make scarves. I blame @katdish.)

So @TheTwitCleaner gives me a list of people called “These people ignore you”. Boy, that’s an ego booster…

And the follow-up PCB Post

The infamous PCB Post:

@billycoffey Come on. That day has to rank pretty high on the “bestest day ever” scale. (in reply to billycoffey @Helenatrandom No. @katdish left a snarky comment on my blog and I followed her to hers. It was all quite shocking.)

@marni71 I’m on my second one today. Three is too many, one not enough. (in reply to marni71 @katdish OH DUH! Told you I was slow. I need a blue Monster…)

@marni71 I think @billycoffey meant a board that you smash crickets with. (in reply to marni71 @billycoffey That was my personal fave too 😉 The Pakistani are known for their refined games of cricket.)

@marni71 I’d watch that episode for sure.

RT @marni71: @katdish We could consult with the Dog Whisperer. It would look good on his resume.

@marni71 Also wondering if you could get a baboon to sit still long enough to get a clean impression.

@marni71 I wonder if I could borrow a baboon from the zoo and have them stamped? (in reply to @marni71@katdish But if you offered to autograph them, we could sell at least 12 I think )

Oooo! New hashtag! #SnowDay about 7 hours ago from TweetDeck

RT @FaithWords: Rt: @billycoffey @DueFriday: Sending out @billycoffey’s debut novel, SNOW DAY, for endorsements! #SnowDay

@marni71 @Helenatrandom Okay, just envisioned a muumuu with a heart shaped monkey butt on the back.

@marni71 You know, we could seriously make some t-shirts. At least 10 people would buy them. (in reply to marni71 @BridgetChumbley Yes, yes I am. That and cross stitch pillows. They’ll be on mine and @katdish ‘s new etsy site.)

RT @Helenatrandom: Today I am grateful for having a cute avatar….

@gyoung9751 Yes, Glynn, but my dog loves them. Don’t be a hater. (in reply to gyoung9751 RT @katdish Eating chex mix & giving the pretzels to my dog. Cuz I’m generous like that… / And you don’t like the pretzels.)

@Helenatrandom Amazingly…no. (in reply to Helenatrandom @katdish Hasn’t the Wordy McTypelot thing been working out?)

@Helenatrandom Well, there you go. Who needs a book deal? (Although I am entertaining any and all offers…) (in reply to Helenatrandom @katdish We could sell them on FOTTSP!!! And NtG hats that say “Think Geek”, and muumuu’s with chopped veggie pattern saying “Salsa Anyone”)

@BridgetChumbley You just have to ask yourself WWKD? I think @marni71 is working on some bracelets. (in reply to BridgetChumbley @katdish Do you teach classes? You know I’ve always been a BIG fan…)

@BridgetChumbley It is if you’re me. (in reply to BridgetChumbley RT @katdish: @makeadiff21 Let me put it another way. I don’t want them all up in my business. // Is that an option?!)

@makeadiff21 Yes. That’s what I’m saying. My family is a great source of blog fodder. I need to freedom to write about them w/o fear. (in reply to makeadiff21 @katdish @Helenatrandom Are you saying you live your lives in compartments? What are you hiding from ppl???)

Okay…My Uncle Franklin just became my facebook friend. And you people wonder why I don’t link my blog on facebook…

@PuriChristos You’re about as subtle as a freight train, Nick. (in reply to PuriChristos I had an epic idea just now. Waiting to hear from @ProdigalJohn to see what he thinks. He should check his email if he reads this)

RT @DueFriday: Sending out @billycoffey’s debut novel, SNOW DAY, for endorsements!

Care no more for the opinion of others, for those voices. Do the hardest thing on earth for you. Act for yourself. Face the truth.~Mansfield

@the_original_xy That’s a challenge. Hate is so much sexier & more newsworthy than love & grace. (in reply to the_original_xy @katdish then you non-crazies have to start being louder to drown out the crazies.)

And I pray that people would understand that one Christian does not speak for all of us.

As Christians, I honestly wish people knew more about what we’re for than what we are against…

#SCL Snobbery: You see people making up definitions w/word verifications & think to yourself, “That is SO 6 months ago!”


@marni71 We should set up an etsy account. (in reply to marni71 @katdish I think I just found my new cross-stitch pillow quote!

@marni71 Me too. Silver linings and snark. It’s a rare and beautiful thing. (in reply to marni71 @katdish I feel it’s God’s way of rewarding me for not dying. Silver lining…I’m all about the silver lining.)

@billycoffey It doesn’t suck… (in reply to billycoffey @katdish It must be great to live your life.)

@billycoffey I can’t be bothered with details. That’s your job. (in reply to billycoffey @katdish You know all those Tannenbaum’s ended up in the hospital, right?)

@billycoffey That’s unacceptable. Tannen-baum! Tannen-baum! (in reply to billycoffey @katdish Yes. So far it’s a draw.)

@billycoffey Hey there. Fighting the Resistance this morning?

@makeadiff21 Oh, I have plenty of weird followers already

RT @buzzbyannies: I am not quite sure why Boz looks so worried. He’s driven with me a million times…. #scaredycat

@sarahmsalter My people are working on the prototype. (in reply to sarahmsalter @katdish You know, if you could figure out a way to bottle that snarkiness and sell it, you could probably make some good money…)

@sarahmsalter fajita taco.( in reply to sarahmsalter @katdish Buenas dias!)

Although I don’t always floss…

Pretty much love God, floss, and post at 12:01 AM CST.

I’m tempted to post early, because my post goes with @brian_russell’s post. But I follow so few rules, I feel compelled to stick to them.

@mdgoodyear Marcus, I think I have some time share opportunities you may be interested in. (in reply to mdgoodyear @katdish I confess, I love this *as seen on tv* thing =>

@LynnRush OH WOW! That’s just AWESOME! (in reply to LynnRush I feel like I’ve entered the Twilight Zone. . . . I’m looking at my first book contract right now. . .)

Sigh…I’ve decided against my better judgment to get dressed. I have to go to the bank & I don’t think they want to see me in my pjs.

RT @AmberAusten: Haha, RT Organizing my tupperware/gladware/rubbermaid cabinet. I have found the end of the universe. (via @rocksinmydryer)

@billycoffey Some things are just God given gifts… (in reply to billycoffey @katdish Oh wow. I’d like everyone to know I did NOT train your ego…)

@sarahmsalter Um…scuse me @billycoffey trained ME? You mean like Jay Leno trained Johnny Carson?

@sarahmsalter @billycoffey is right. When he found me I was a quiet, shy demure little blogger. (in reply to sarahmsalter@billycoffey Now, Billy. You have to be willing to share @katdish’s gifts and talents with the world.)

@billycoffey Mwha ha ha! (in reply to billycoffey @katdish Okay, now that’s just wrong.)

@billycoffey I’m sorry, what? Wait…I have to take a call from another client. (in reply to billycoffey @katdish Then it better not be work for ME.)

@billycoffey I’m doing work, but it’s probably not that important… (in reply to billycoffey @katdish You’re lazy. Don’t you have work to do?)

Speaking purely hypothetically of course – at what point in the day do you decide instead of getting dressed you simply stay in your pjs?

@poemsandprayers And yes. I am. Proudly so. (in reply to poemsandprayers @katdish smart ass)

@poemsandprayers I’m not talking about legitimate groups, I’m talking about the “I Love Ranch Dressing” groups. (Of which, I am a member.) (in reply to poemsandprayers @katdish guess im a little touchy about the facebook group thing)

Do you know what this world needs? More groups on Facebook…(yes, I’m being sarcastic)

I put a bird feeder outside the window of my office. I find it relaxing watching the birds whilst my dog barks incessantly at them.

@sarahmsalter I am SO getting you a poo purse. (in reply to sarahmsalter @weightwhat Well, my birthday is the 31st. But please don’t get me a poo purse. Thank you.)

@Brian_Russell Stop being a slave to your analytics. Just write and create. You’re welcome.

@weightwhat Well, just don’t google yourself again. (in reply to weightwhat @katdish Thank Gumby! I thought I was going to have to TWSS myself again. TWSS.)

@weightwhat TWSS (in reply to weightwhat My hangtags are going to be so cute!!!)

@shrinkingcamel I never know what I’m doing. You get used to it. (in reply to shrinkingcamel @katdish I’m not really sure what I’m doing at this point.)

@Brian_Russell Fo shizzle. (in reply to Brian_Russell @katdish Word.)

@stretchmarkmama Hey! That there is what we call an “Art Car” around these parts. (in reply to stretchmarkmama @katdish “Novel” is one word. “Trashy” might be another.)

Maybe just once, someone will call me “Sir” without adding, “You’re making a scene.” ~Homer Simpson

A novel use of happy meal toys and gumball machine trinkets.

It’s not the bitter cold or the harsh winds of winter I hate so much, it’s the static electricity wreaking havoc on my hair. Yes, I’m deep.

RT @michael_arndt: If you are trying to blame me, the buck doesn’t even slow down here, keep on going

One of my son’s happier moments…

Sigh…oh well. It’s only paint right?

My daughter wants to redo her room. All my work to be painted over.

Just checked my facebook account. I have 93 items in my in box #baneofmyexistence

RT @Doallas: Need a headline writer? Hire @katdish. Here’s an example:

RT @muchl8r: Compelled by the promise of adventure, our protagonist ran out the door yelling, “oh CRAP! i’m late!” off to work:)

RT @badbanana: 85,000 jobs lost in December. Mostly football coaches.

And YES, I left out a whole bunch of tweets about Chex mix. I realize you’re probably bitterly disappointed, but those are for research.

As always, Sorry/You’re welcome.

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