The highly anticipated (or not) Twitter update

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Yes, lovely people…

I know it’s been awhile since I posted one of these updates, but I honestly didn’t think I had that many tweets over the past few weeks. That is, until I cut and pasted them all from my profile page into my blog. As usual, I was delusional. I had tweets a-plenty. Hopefully, I whittled them down to a manageable amount here. And I have twitpics!

The best of me (or not) on the Twitter: from the sublime to the ridiculous (Okay, maybe not so much sublime…)

@fireboy49 I think you can relate almost any life experience to an episode of Seinfeld. (in reply to @fireboy49 @katdish Ah, a fellow Seinfelder.)

@fireboy49 Not that there’s anything wrong with that… (in reply to @fireboy49 @katdish Wow, I have socks just like that! Well, not just like that. I don’t bejewel my socks.)

Just noticed I walked the dog in these flops. I have another pair just like them.

RT @muchl8r What is that wretched smell? Did I step in something? No. That’s what winter smells like….

My son is home sick today. He just called me from his room and asked me to bring him breakfast. Y’all should probably pray for him…

@CassFrear @peterpollock knows he can never really be in trouble w/me because he’s pretty much indispensable.

@dlrayburn Well, hold off on the corner crying. You may do that after I tell you what I think…(in reply to @dlrayburn @katdish If ya got a sec, I would love your input on the color changes. 🙂 //If not, I will crawl into a corner and cry.

Getting a pedicure after months w/o one. I think the lady went to the back to find a power sander.

But seriously…there are some TWSS moments that one cannot pass up.

If y’all think I’m inappropriate on twitter, you should see some of my DMs.

My local Kroger has completely rearranged itself. NO ONE consulted me! First PCB, now this…

9YO was watching “Medical mysteries” on TV. She said, “The doctors found a growth in his urinal area”. Snort!


Watching the national news….”I see dumb people…”

Off the grid for awhile. I’ve been given reading orders by @billycoffey, who’s not the boss of me, but I can’t wait to dive into his words.

RT @muchl8r: I still think winter is the stupidest season. My attempt to like it over the past several months has been a sham.

Microwave: 1 Internet Connection: 0

Where is @redclaydiaries? She’s neglecting the virtual world.

@CandySteele Of course I’m mocking you. It’s what I do.

@billycoffey What do you mean survived? I’m delightful. (in reply to @billycoffey @JeanneDamoff Hey Jeanne! Saw that you survived your @katdish encounter.)

“It’s none of their business that you have to learn how to write. Let them think you were born that way.” – Ernest Hemingway

RT @fishythoughts How do we not have lightsabers yet? Its like scientists aren’t even trying.


Good Morning!

Because everything’s better with more cow bell.

got an email about praise band practice this week. We have a new member sitting in that plays blues guitar. I asked if I could play cow bell

Someone at the car wash has take out food that smells like B.O. At least I hope it’s the food. Dang.

@kelybreez Oh, like I have to fish for compliments. There are perks to being an internet tornado. (in reply to @kelybreez @katdish Pshaw.)

@kelybreez Am not. I happen to think Twitter DOES look fabulous this morning. (in reply to @kelybreez @katdish You’re just fishing for compliments.)

Good morning, Twitter! You’re looking fabulous this morning.

140 character limit holiday tip: The appropriate abbreviation for Valentine’s Day is V-Day. Not “VD”.

I would be offended if it weren’t for the fact that I suck at math. Even 4th grade math.

My daughter (in the 4th grade) has refused my help w/her math homework. Instead she is waiting for her dad to get off the phone to help her.

Because I’m thinking real angels don’t have curly locks and chubby cheeks. If that were the case, why do they always say, “Do not be afraid”

I need to write a post about how bitterly disappointed people w/cherub angel collections are gonna be when they get to heaven.

But in my defense, I got one of those “pass this email on if you love Jesus” emails. I think I’m entitled to rant.

All of my posts are a little ranty lately. I didn’t intend for the one I just wrote to be, just sort of happened.

Pretty excited that Lady Gaga left a spam comment on my blog, and she “harmonizes with my conclusions”. Wicked.

I call this "Dead dog in dead grass" Note: dog isn't really dead, but the grass is.

I will be posting my anti-Valentine’s Day post at midnight. Yes, I’m unromantic and jaded by commercialism.

Nothing I enjoy more than coming home after spending 3 hours in Houston traffic to have my son ask me to take him to the mall.

Who's got the coolest church trailer ever?

Carne asada & cheese enchiladas


Taking hubs to get LASIK this afternoon, but first, Mexican Food FTW. @kelybreez

The Donald for president? I just don’t know if I can get behind a guy with a bad combover.

I’m not sure how I feel about The Donald running for president.

@PeterPollock I read it once. Before I threw it with great force against the wall. (in reply to @PeterPollock @katdish Oh yes. You read it to your kids every night… right?)

Who likes the book The Giving Tree? I’m thinking about reposting my version of it.

RT @andylevy This is the worst resignation speech ever. #mubarak

Man, I thought I was stubborn. #mubarak

Uh, oh. This isn’t sounding like a resignation speech so far. #Mubarak

Reuters is reporting that Mubarak will NOT step down. If that’s the case, this will not end well.

@noveldoctor She’s pasted into the wall with her own paper. The design is of life-sized human bodies. She’s never found.

@noveldoctor I’m writing a novel about a wallpaper designer. She dies at the end, because I hate wallpaper.

RT @noveldoctor If your protagonist doesn’t struggle, you’re not writing a novel, you’re designing wallpaper.

Unconfirmed reports say Mubarek will step down via Fox News

“A good writer is basically a story teller. Not a scholar or redeemer of mankind.” ~ Isaac Singer

DH: I’m going to dinner next Wed. I’ll be back Thurs. Me: That’s a long dinner! DH: DENVER! Not dinner. Me: Oh, okay.

A winter haiku: Winter winds they howl/Garbage cans dance in the street/Sure glad they’re not mine.

Favorite pasta salad ever

Or maybe I’m just devastatingly lazy. Yes. Definitely one of those.

Life's too short to chop your own produce

And now, I must go face my arch nemesis: the grocery store.

Dr Pepper plant burning in Grand Prairie, TX. Observing a moment of silence for @marni71

@CandySteele Birds that grow fur? I think those are bats. (in reply to CandySteele @billycoffey We have birds that grow fur. Seriously, that’s what it looks like.)

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