I was just thinking the other day, what if my blogger pals were cartoon/fictional characters? Who might they be? Because I realize that this series of posts will be scrutinized by one blogger in particular (who shall remain nameless, but you’ll figure out soon enough if you read the comments because she’s a bit on the chatty side, bless her heart). I have given the following representations probably WAY more thought than I should have. But like my dad always told me, “Anything worth doing is worth doing well.” (Actually, I believe his exact words were, “IF YOU’RE GOING TO DO SOMETHING HALF-*SS, DON’T DO IT AT ALL!” But tomAto, tomotto, whatever…
Without further adieu, I give you my humble attempt at blogger characterization with artistic license:
I’ll start with the pastors who read this blog, which is both flattering and perplexing simultaneously. I get that Jeff reads, but mostly because he needs to know how to pray for me on any given day…being the shepherd of my particular flock and whatnot. But I digress…
For reasons I will not expound upon here because I think it’s been covered in numerous comments between blogs, the first image that came to me for Matt at the Church of No People was this one:
(you’re welcome). But Christmas underwear blog posts and comments aside, I don’t think Tommy Pickles from Rugrats is really representative of Matt. So how does one represent a pastor who is artsy, funny, irreverent, and has the spiritual gift of sarcasm? This proved to be quite difficult. The best I can offer is some weird morphing scenario of the following three characters: Bart Simpson, Napoleon Dynamite and Legolas from Lord of the Rings. (Don’t ask — it just kind of gelled in my head that way.)
If I’m being honest (and I am, btw) the first image that popped into my head was this one: Freddy from Scooby Doo. “And I would have gotten away with it too! If it hadn’t have been for you meddling kids and that DOG of yours!”
My sincere apologies, kind readers. My computer was suddenly and viciously ripped from my lap by Old Man Jenkins! But fear not, he is in handcuffs as we speak and is being lead away by the cartoon version of Don Knotts.
Now…where was I? Oh, yeah! And seriously — check out the stance — except for the position of the right arm, it’s nearly identical! (Okay, I just got incredibly lucky on that particular google search.) Even though I would consider this high praise (as I was a big Freddy fan back in the day), I don’t want to be disrespectful to Pete by comparing him to an ascot wearing, mystery solving cartoon character who likely hung out with a bunch of stoners with the munchies all the time. (Not judging here, I’m just saying.) So my pick for Pete is Wesley/the Dread Pirate Roberts from “The Princess Bride”.
Because I think he has a great sense of humor (which is incredibly fortunate for me), and because he is a brave hero in some very unconventional, outside the box kind of ways.
For some unknown reason, author and Presbyterian mega-church pastor Dr. Timothy Keller has yet to find his way to my humble little blog. But since I’m sure it’s only a matter of time, I will share with you what I believe to be somewhat of a dead ringer comparison: Captain Picard from Star Trek: The Next Generation
For the record, I would not be opposed to a certain wax-free mega-church pastor (
wink, wink) casually mentioning my blog address at the next
relevant pastors luncheon /meet-and-greet. (I just wanted to put that out there.)
And just for grins, I have two more well known pastoral comparison:
Vince Antonucci: Pastor, Church Planter and author of “I became a Christian and all I got was this Lousy T-shirt” (which, incidentally is a GREAT book. I’d give you a copy but I bought a case of them and have since given them all away. But once again, I digress…) AHEM!
Vince Antonucci and Joe Pesci in “My Cousin Vinnie”. (I realize that many of you may not know who Vince is, but I saw him at a church planting conference last summer…and you’re just going to have to trust me on this one. Furthermore, in case you haven’t noticed, I write this blog primarily for my own amusement. And just in case you haven’t noticed, I crack myself up.
And last but not least…
(Oh, shut up. You know I’m right!)
I’m going to have to throw this one out there for a few reasons, but the chief one being that Jeff does a pretty stirring rendition of “The Cheeseburger Song”. Ladies and gentlemen, may I present, Mr. Lunt from Veggie Tales
While this comparison is accurate for me in many ways (The moustaches are uncanny aren’t they?), I cannot leave it at that. Even though I am hopelessly sarcastic most of the time and joke around with him on a regular basis, I also consider Jeff to be just below God, Jesus Christ, The Holy Spirit, the apostles, and my husband Ron on the list of my all-time spiritual heroes. Furthermore, my involvement in ministries that he has led is probably why I set the bar so very high for other pastors. For those reasons, my comparison for Jeff is William Wallace: because he is driven by the love of his life (Jesus Christ), fights for what is right — sometimes against seemingly insurmountable odds, will not be bought or influenced by fame or titles, and truly is a
Warrior Poet. If you know my affinity for the movie Braveheart, you will understand how big of a deal that is. Incidentally, I would crawl across broken glass for Jeff and his family.
And since featuring Jeff without Tamara would be like talking about Salt without Peppa (the rap group, not the seasonings), here is my comparison for my lovely and talented friend Tamara:
Why Ariel from The Little Mermaid? A few reasons: First, she is somewhat clumsy when out of water and, like Ariel she is a bit of a non-conformist rebel willing to buck the status quo if necessary. But the main reason I chose this comparison is that when Tamara sings, her voice is so hauntingly beautiful that it literally moves me to tears at times. She is also a bit on the shy side, very humble, and will probably cringe as she reads this. But it’s true. Her voice might not technically be considered among the all-time greats, but passion and soul cannot be measured in any quantitative way. Unfortunately, she does kind of suck at American Idol for Wii – mostly because she keeps trying to sing harmony instead of lead. So, currently I am the reigning American Idol of my family room and am appearing nightly upon request.
I know I said I would be posting everyone from my blog roll plus some others, but once again I have bitten off more than I can chew. I could not possibly fit everyone into one blog post without giving up the little luxuries I’ve come to enjoy like sleep and personal hygiene. I will be featuring some more of my favorite bloggers tomorrow and on subsequent posts after that. I will say for the record that I will not be writing about one particular group of bloggers until a certain geeky church planter chick gets back from her Internet sabbatical. I just wouldn’t feel right about that. I hope I haven’t kept anyone awake at night worrying about what kind of horrible manifestation I would come up with for them. I really am trying to be nice here! (Well, the Joel Osteen one wasn’t very nice, but what can I say? He probably had that one coming.) Stay tuned…