Katdish.net

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Back in April of this year I attended Exponential Conference in Orlando, Florida. I wrote about it here and here, but for those of you who don’t know, Exponential is the largest gathering of church planters in the world. To try and absorb everything I heard at that conference would be akin to taking a sip of water from a fire hydrant going full blast. Sometimes I took notes furiously, other times I simply tried to listen and glean what I could apply to my life.

But you know, there are times when a person speaks a truth into your life that’s so powerful you feel compelled to share it. This person was Jo Saxton. She didn’t say it to me personally. She said it via jumbo-tron in a room of over 2,000 people. The words were not her own. They were words she paid forward from another speaker she heard at a leadership conference.

“The way to know you had fully forgiven someone was that you no longer felt they owed you anything.”

I don’t know about you, but for me, that statement is profound. Often the trajectories of our lives are determined less by the trials and victories therein and more how we choose to react to them. Can we ever truly forgive as we have been forgiven? With no strings attached?

If the above statement struck a chord with you, I invite you to read the article it was taken from in its entirety. It will probably take you less than 2 minutes from start to finish, but if you’re struggling to truly forgive, those two minutes may put you on a path you’ve been longing to travel: Stories of Sifted: Jo Saxton

Oh, it’s been too long since my last katdishionary post. From the blog that brought you such words as Pornographic Cheese Buttler, Skymalladocious, Fatassatosis, the Jesus Frying Pan and many, many more, katdish.net is pleased to present Part 12 of this neverending fountain of blog fodder: katdishionary, Part 12, the Florida Edition:

For those of you who haven’t been here in awhile, first of all, shame on you.

Secondly, you may not be aware that I recently spent the better part of a week in the land of Micky Mouse and all things touristy, Orlando, Florida.

The purpose of said trip was to attend Exponential: the largest gathering of church planters in the Universe. (It’s not billed as such, but I’m gonna take a stab in the dark and assume there aren’t some alien life forms gathering to talk about Jesus at some huge interplanetary mega church. Even though that would be pretty cool.) Anyway, I ranted incessantly about it a little last week, meant to share a little more with you, but then the non-virtual world was calling me, so I’m just now getting around to sharing some new and exciting katdishionary words with you now–I know. You’re welcome.

Now on with the katdishionary:

Orlandosinusitus (pronounced Or-lan-doe-sign-u-site-us)

The view from our condo, overlooking the beautiful "Wet n' Wild" theme park. If you squint and look just left of center, you can see Hogwarts, which we didn't go to because last time we came to this conference, we went to Disneyworld without the kids and they're still pissed about it.

Definition: a condition of alternating runny nose to completely stopped up nose caused by the city of Orlando, Florida.

Origin: Trip to a church planter’s conference in late April. I had allergy attacks the entire trip. I’m either allergic to tourism, Florida, church planters, or some combination of all of the above. This debilitating condition forced me to go to bed each night with a Breathe-Right nasal strip adhered to the bridge of my nose and Kleenex stuffed in my nostrils. (Also? I’m bringing sexy back!)

The Mo-fauxhawk (pronounced ma-fo-hawk)

This is the closest version of what I would truly define as an actual Mofauxhawk. See further description below.

Definition: Edgier version of the fauxhawk, where there is what appears to be an actual mohawk centered on the top of the head

surrounded by the classic fauxhawk on either side.

Imagine if you will a well manicured box hedge lined on either side with monkey grass. Now put that atop someone’s head and you have the Mo-fauxhawk.

Incidentally, it looks nothing at all like this:

Origin: People watching at the Exponential Conference.

A Scarf too Far, or AS2F (pronounced a-skarf-too-far)

The following are all elements of the Christian hipster look:

The Christian/tribal tatt

The free-for-all facial hair look

The lacoste porkpie hat

The Spongebob Squarepants glasses

Skinny jeans

The ugly shoe with a heart of gold: Toms

The Ricky Lee Jones throwback beanie

The nerdy/environmentally correct tee

The peacoat with deep front pockets to plunge your hands into while walking purposefully.

and, of course…

The ginormous scarf

This is only a partial list. Feel free to include body piercings, those big hockey puck earrings, the man-purse (murse) or something else I’ve forgotten. They can be mixed and matched (or mismatched as the case may be), but an attempt to incorporate too many into one outfit will result in what I like to call A Scarf Too Far (AS2F) and turn them into the very thing they fear the most: a walking cliche’.

Origin: People watching at Exponential.

The Chewpacca (pronounced chew-pa-ka)

Chewpacca

Definition: A large, inexpensive duffle bag on wheels which can be purchased at the Super Target on the way to the Orlando airport when you’ve exceeded the 50 pound weight limit on your luggage and don’t want to pay the extra 50 bucks they charge you for going SEVEN POUNDS OVER.

Wheels designed for maximum noise creation.

The wheels are designed in such a way as to make the loudest noise possible when pulled across an airport parking lot, and when pulled across the moving walkway once inside the airport, to my delight and everyone else’s annoyance, they sound almost exactly like this:

(You should play that video two or three times. It is THAT delightful!)

Origin: Jeff Hogan. Who, after walking behind me and my new duffle bag named him Chewbacca.

This concludes the latest edition of the katdishionary. Please remember that many of the words contained therein have come from alert readers (including the term “katdishionary”), so keep those cards and letters coming!

Deep, breathy sigh…

I’m still trying to wrap my brain around all the information I heard at Exponential 2012–the largest annual gathering of church planters in the world.

Four years ago, the missional church movement was beginning to gain momentum. It was right about that time when I read The Tangible Kingdom: Creating Incarnational Community by Hugh Halter and Matt Smay and loved what they had to say about living out our faith through living in community with one another and serving the world. After all, the point and the process of my church, C3 (also known as the “mission statement”) is Love God and people, Live in community with one another and Serve the world, or more simply: Love, Live, Serve.

So I was very excited to see that Hugh and Matt would be conducting some workshops at Exponential this year. One of particular interest to me was Practical Tools for Moving Consumers to Missionaries and Small Groups to Missional Communities. (Consumers being people who typically attend “big church” on Sunday but don’t get involved in missions or small groups.) As it turned it, Matt Smay was not in the session. Brandon Hatmaker, pastor of Austin New Church and author of Barefoot Church tag teamed with Hugh Halter for this session. And while I greatly appreciated the point and their process for discipling people through missional living and serving the poor, at the end of the session, something was nagging at me.

Big time.

Because for me, the process was more about weeding out those people who just wanted Jesus on Sunday morning without delving into the bigger question of WHY that was okay to only want Jesus on their own terms. I left the session feeling like nominal Christians were someone else’s problem, not the problem of the missional church. I was in such a lather about the whole thing that I couldn’t focus on the main session which followed the workshop. Instead, I began to scribble madly in my notebook the following:

Rich Young Ruler

Process seems effective at weeding out those consumers who have no interest in becoming committed followers, but I don’t see much in the way of moving consumers into something more. I understand that it’s easy to label these people as Pharisees and wash our hands of them, but people who don’t think they need Jesus–or worse, those who think they have a saving knowledge and relationship with Jesus but don’t–are the ones who so desperately need Him!

Then there’s the resource issue. Had the rich young ruler said, “Yes, Jesus. I choose you and everything I own belongs to the kingdom”, how would that have played out?

How do we lead people with financial resources away from consumerism into discipleship? And if they’re stubborn and don’t want to move, do we let them go and just say, “Good luck with all of THAT?”

By giving up on them and calling them Pharisees, are we not doing some of the hard things that Jesus would have us do because they’re easy to demonize? What could God do with their resources if we somehow lead them to an understanding of what it is to give your life to Christ? Without telling them that God will bless them–because if we do that, we’re just selling them more consumerism. Maybe they won’t be blessed. Maybe they’ll be sifted. But because they have much they are expected to give much. Are they a lost cause? A nut too tough to crack and bring into the family of God?

Still feeling very unsettled (and needing to pee because I’d had about 2 gallons of coffee that morning), I excused myself from the worship center to find a bathroom. Guess who was manning a booth on the way to the bathroom? Give up? Hugh Halter, Matt Smay and Brandon Hatmaker. Lucky them.

On my way back from the bathroom, I stopped at the booth. It went something like this:

Hugh Halter: How are you doing?

Me: I’m very frustrated.

Hugh Halter: Well, bring it on.

I proceeded to unload on them what I had madly scribbled in my notebook. I shared with them that I live in a community where you can’t swing a bat without hitting ten or so churches. Churches filled with disciples but also with what they would classify as Consumer Christians. I expressed that I did believe in their process of making disciples through missional living, but wondered aloud about those who didn’t choose that path. Are they not worth the trouble? Do we have a process of reaching those who think they are found but are really lost? Does God value them less because they seem to value Him less? Brandon talked me down off the ledge a bit. He shared an email from a wealthy man whose life had been transformed by serving the poor, and I am grateful that people are being transformed by truly living out their faith. He also told me that we can’t change people’s hearts, only God can do that. In the end, Brandon gave me a free copy of his book. I’m sure it was only partly to get rid of this raving lunatic woman at their booth.

But I’m still feeling frustrated.

I still think we’re leaving folks behind. People who may be as close as a conversation over a cup of coffee.

And I suppose that’s gotta start with me.

What do you think? Are nominal Christians the burden of the “big church”?

You may have noticed my absence from the blogosphere this week. (Or not.)

I left Monday afternoon with my husband and our dear friends Jeff and Tamara (who also happen to be our pastor and his wife) bound for Orlando, Florida.

Not for Disney or Universal Studios, but to the largest church planters conference in the US: Exponential.

This is a return trip for the four of us. The first was four years ago when Convergence Christian Church was little more than a dream and a vision. Now, having just celebrated our 3rd birthday as a church, Exponential was a much different experience than it was back then.

Not only am I unpacking books, brochures and swag from the conference, I’m also unpacking all the things I heard there. Whereas four years ago I took everything I heard as (forgive the word choice here) gospel, I’m more discerning now and more likely to question. Which is not to say we didn’t hear some great ideas. We did.

But I also think there’s not one absolute right or wrong way to plant a church.

Anyway, still unpacking and digesting some ideas. Hoping to regurgitate some onto you next week.

You’re welcome.

Have a great weekend.

This post is part of the Blog Carnival hosted this week by Bridget over at One Word at a Time – Church.

Confession: This blog post was originally written to be used as a guest post on another blog, but it was waaaaayyyy too long and “not sarcastic enough“. Which is rather ironic, because I think that just might be the only time in recorded history that anyone has told me that I was not sarcastic enough. I’m gonna be honest, it was a refreshing change from the deep, breathy sighs and the knowing looks of disapproval that I am accustomed to. So, I figured, “Why let all this creative genius just waste away in the ever-increasing pile of google docs that are in various states of completion? I’ll just subject my loyal readers to my long-winded diatribe! (You’re welcome.) Without further adieu, I give you my magnus opus: The Dos and Don’ts of Church Planting (The Really Long Version).

Note: To read the shorter, funnier version go here: Stuff Christians Like #488 – Planting new churches.

Have you ever or are you now in the process of either planting a church or thinking about planting a church? If you answered yes to the aforementioned question, then answer this next question: Why? And don’t just say, “Because all the cool kids are doing it.” While that may be true (snort), that’s really not such a good reason. There are actually several good reasons not to be involved in a church plant. Here are three:

1) Because you’re burned out, angry and/or fed up with your current church.

Many of us have been there. But if you leave without exhausting every reasonable attempt to reconcile past hurts and disagreements, not only will you carry that bitterness and anger to your new church home, but not doing so ignores some really sound biblical doctrine. (Incidentally, this is applicable to all Christians, not just us super hip church planters.)

2) If your spouse/significant other is not completely sold out on the idea.

Planting a church is a fantastic experience. It can also be incredibly frustrating, scary, all consuming and just down right hard. If your spouse has even a hint of reservation about the idea, run – don’t walk – away. Your marriage is more important than the church plant.

3) If your future location is somewhere you have never lived and/or you know nothing about.

I’ll get some flack for this one. There are many successful church plants started by folks who knew squat about the area they planted in. John Burke’s church in Austin comes to mind, and I know there are many others. Gateway is amazingly successful. But before he started Gateway, he was the executive director of ministries at Willow Creek. I’m guessing he had a few connections. Plus he’s Baptist, and you Baptists are loaded! You can do statistical analysis and socioeconomic projected population studies out the wazoo, but for me, the best resources for knowing your target area are the members of your core group who intimately know the needs of their community. If you decide to be involved in a “parachute drop” church plant, don’t think it’s going to be like a vacation. Houston for five days is fantastic and fun-filled. Houston (or anywhere else) 24-7 looks a little different. You have to live there, get to know people and the culture. Understand that you need a good support system and a really committed support team for the long haul. Know that there will be times when you may feel abandoned and lonely; even second guessing your decision.

So, why should you be part of a church plant? My simple answer is that you have exhausted every other option. You have prayed and prayed and then prayed some more about it. God says, “Go plant a church,” and you say, “No, really. I’m good.” Then God says to you, “I AM totally not kidding. Stop worrying about your own comfort and financial stability and get out there and love on some people who would never even think of stepping through the doorway of your local church. They might be messy, abandoned, or marginalized, but they’re mine and I love them!” (God may not use words like “totally” when He talks to you, but still.) Then, if you don’t come by humility naturally, be prepared to be taken to school. Because if you’re really down with G-O-D, He will humble you in ways you’ve never imagined.

So, what are some dos and don’ts I can share with you based upon my vast year and a half experience with church planting? I’ve got roughly 897, but I’ll try to keep it brief:

Do employ the K.I.S.S. methodology. Understand what your point and your process will be. (Also sometimes referred to as a mission or vision statement.) Simple doesn’t mean easy, it only means simple. If you haven’t read it, I would highly recommend “Simple Church” by Thom S. Rainer and Eric Geiger.

Don’t attempt to offer a bunch of programs to attract new members. Concentrate on how your church can best serve your community, beginning with the members of your core group.

Do have a pastor that has an absolutely sound, biblically based theology and make sure you are in firm agreement with them on the non-negotiables.

Don’t get bogged down with things that are more about tradition and personal preference such as using a worship eagle as opposed to an interpretive pop and lock dance set to Toby Mac’s “Feelin’ So Fly”.

Do make sure that your core group consists of people willing to lead and to be lead. You should be of like mind and vision for the church. If you’re a pastor, it’s not a bad idea to have at least one or two core members who would be willing to take a bullet for you. Because depending on where you plant, that might be a distinct possibility.

Do have a plan and a timeline for at least the first two years of your church. You can always opt to adjust things or make a change if needed, but it’s good to have a baseline. (Plus, if you are receiving support from other churches, it really bugs them when you say stuff like, “Que sera sera, Whatever will be will be. The future’s not ours to see”, and then make a sweeping, full body twirl whist holding a scarf in your hand.)

Don’t get all stressed out about meeting some arbitrary deadline for your launch date. God’s timing is not always in line with ours, and the expense of a building is a huge financial commitment. Meet in homes for as long as it is practical. Invest your money in people via missions and outreach.

Do splurge for a professional looking sign if you meet in someones’ home and you regularly have over 25 people every Sunday. Something like “We are not a Cult” would be a good option.