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The Way of Walking Alone

July 6, 2010 in Billy Coffey,culture,family,Happy Birthday with 26 Comments

Kazuko Hosokawa Dishman (aka - my mom)

This past Sunday, in celebration of Independence Day, I posted the Declaration of Independence in its entirity along with my own personal reflection as to importance of what that historical document set out to do. I am proud to call myself an American first and foremost. My ancestors on my father’s side arrived and settled in what is now the Commonwealth of Virginia in the 1600’s. But that’s only half my ancestry.

My father met and married my mother in Japan. She was born Kazuko Hosokawa. The Hosokawas were one of the ruling samurai clans of Japan for many generations, and the family coat of arms (my mother was happy to report after a recent visit) is proudly displayed in the Tokyo National Museum.

So, while I am VERY much American, I am also very proud of my Japanese heritage, and I wanted to share a little of it with you today.

Miyamoto Musashi

In the second month of 1641, Miyamoto Musashi (considered to be the greatest samurai who ever lived) wrote a work called the Hyoho Sanju Go (Thirty-five Instructions on Strategy) for Hosokawa Tadatoshi. This work overlapped and formed the basis for Go Rin No Sho, more famously known as The Book of Five Rings.

The Way of Walking Alone
(or The Way of Self-Reliance)
✦
Do not turn your back on the various Ways of this world.
✦
Do not scheme for physical pleasure.
✦
Do not intend to rely on anything.
✦
Consider yourself lightly; consider the world deeply.
✦
Do not ever think in acquisitive terms.
✦
Do not regret things about your own personal life.
✦
Do not envy another’s good or evil.
✦
Do not lament parting on any road whatsoever.
✦
Do not complain or feel bitterly about yourself or others.
✦
Have no heart for approaching the path of love.
✦
Do not have preferences.
✦
Do not harbor hopes for your own personal home.
✦
Do not have a liking for delicious food for yourself.
✦
Do not carry antiques handed down from generation to generation.
✦
Do not fast so that it affects you physically.
✦
Do not be fond of material things.
✦
Do not begrudge death.
✦
Do not be intent on possessing valuables or a fief in old age.
✦
Respect the gods and Buddhas, but do not depend on them.
✦
Though you give up your life, do not give up your honor.
✦
Never depart from the Way of martial arts.

Second Day of the Fifth Month, Second Year of Shoho (1645)
Miyamoto Musashi

“The basic difference between an ordinary man and a warrior is that a warrior takes everything as a challenge, while an ordinary man takes everything as either a blessing or a curse.” – Don Juan

P.S. – If you haven’t done so already, head on over and wish Billy Coffey a Happy Birthday!

In Praise of the Inbred Hick (by Billy Coffey)

June 8, 2009 in Billy Coffey,family,heritage with 35 Comments

There are better things to be called than “an inbred hick,” and I had been called worse by many, but I had to admire the originality. And I wasn’t mad. The phrase was uttered with a sense of good-natured mockery common among friends in general and mine specifically. Especially the one who was not only a liberal, but also a Red Sox fan. I never said my friends were perfect.

This friend’s name? Dan. A truly brilliant man despite the fact I would never admit it to his face. Chair of the Asian Studies department at the college. Prolific author and lecturer. World traveler. Highbrow. All of which paints a pretty stark contrast to me. My only chair is the one in the living room, I am prolific only at spitting and shooting a bow, most of my travels are on dirt roads, and I am the very definition of lowbrow.

We have our differences, to be sure. And whenever we happen to bump into each other, we spend most of our time arguing over whose differences are right.

Like yesterday, for instance.

Dan brought me a souvenir from his latest trip to Japan—a fan with “Hanshin Tigers” printed on the front, along with a pretty ferocious looking cat.

“You should go with me one time,” he said after recapping his adventures. “Japanese baseball is great, and the Tigers have a good team this year. You need to see the world. You’re stuck here in this valley missing everything.”

“You’re only stuck if you can’t move,” I said, “I just don’t want to. And I’m not missing much. The world’s a crazy place. At least around here the crazy’s familiar.”

“There’s nothing here,” he said. “It’s all out there. The world’s passing you by. Your family’s been here how long?”

“I don’t know,” I said. “I think we came with the Valley.”

“Exactly. Generations. As long as people can remember.”

“And that’s bad how?”

“You’re the product of centuries of people who refused to better themselves. Your life is no different than your great-grandfather’s and his great-grandfather’s.”

“So?” I asked.

“So you’re just an inbred hick. You could make yourself into a lot better person.”

The thought of making myself into a better person had never really crossed my mind, mostly because I’d always been pretty content with who I was. Then again, I’d never considered myself an inbred hick.

But my family has occupied this valley and the mountains surrounding it for centuries. Staying put in one place for so long tends to give you a sense of belonging. Of home. And though I would trade my mountains for the ocean any day, this place would always be home. There are a lot of my kin buried here in the Blue Ridge. I could wander away from those bones, but not for very long and not for very far.

So the inbred thing? True.

As for the “hick” part of that little insult, I’d have to say that was something Dan and his fellow urbanites just couldn’t understand. They’d never lived in the sticks, never spent much time with country folk, and so allowed their stereotypes to rule them.

Then again, all stereotypes are grounded in some semblance of truth.

It’s true, for instance, that one of my best Christmas presents last year was a bag of deer jerky and a jar of peach moonshine. And yes, some country folk live in trailers. By and large, “dressing up” means trading our faded jeans for dark ones. We are not generally well-educated. We do hunt and fish and ride four-wheelers. We live vicariously through Ric Flair and consider “Freebird” the real national anthem.

True. All true.

But there is more beneath the surface to life in the country. A lot.

Because to us, a trailer full of love is better than a castle full of discord.

And we’re not nearly as impressed with the clothes a person wears as we are with the person wearing the clothes.

We might not be able to split the atom, but we know what means much in life and what doesn’t.

We hunt and fish and grow our own groceries because food straight out of the dirt and the woods, sweetened with sweat and labor, tastes a lot better than what you can get at the store.

Our churches aren’t big, but they’re full. Our words are few, but they’re meaningful. We don’t want more of this world. We want less.

We are plain and simple people. People who will go hungry before letting our neighbors starve, drop whatever we’re doing to help a friend, and roam among the wild places to get a better glimpse of God.

The best people. My people.

Inbred hicks? Absolutely. Who could possibly want to be more?

Hey look, a Chicken!

December 29, 2008 in blogging,Christmas,family,friendship,Jon Acuff,Stuff Christians Like with 24 Comments

‘Twas four days after Christmas, and all through the house
Were the sounds of loud children, but where was my spouse?
Oh, off to some meeting for this or the other,
While sister was yelling at her older brother,
“Don’t change the channel, cause I was here first!
I want to watch Sponge Bob, Golf Channel’s the worst!”

The garbage was stacked by the curbside with care,
In hopes that the garbage truck soon would be there;
The children had long since been up from their beds,
“We’re hungry! We’re hungry! We need to be fed!”
And what do you think a good mom has to eat?
Why, leftover cookie dough is always a treat!

When out of my girl’s room there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from my studio to see what was the matter.
Away to her doorway I looked down to snoop,
That my sister’s dog Maggie had left us some poop.

My sisters you see, along with my mama
Were down at Atlantis – that’s in the Bahamas.
So Maggie and Moose, the dog and the cat
Spent Christmas with us, plus some days after that.

On Maggie, on Buddy, on Moose and on Rudy,
It’s hard to keep track of who left what doody.
But later this evening my sis will be back
And she’ll pack up her car with her dog and her cat.
They’d rather stay here than at some pet hotel,
I just hope my new steamer can get out the smell.

But alas, look at me; once again, I digress
I meant to write something in the hopes to express
How grateful I am for some time to unwind
And to thank you for reading, you’re really too kind
My family, my friends and even my dog
have been inspiration for me and this blog
So thanks for your patience, your kindness and love
And most of all thanks to my Father Above

This year has been awesome, though some spots have been rough
When I thank God for blessings, I’ll include Jon Acuff
For without this great blog known as “Stuff Christians Like”
I wouldn’t have many of you in my life
And who would have thunk that I’d have such affection
For people I met through my high speed connection?

That’s all that I have; the plot does not thicken
Just thanks to you all, and……

Hey look, a chicken!


Henri the Cat

December 20, 2008 in confession,conviction,family,friendship,God,youtube with 17 Comments

God’s timing is pretty amazing. I was feeling a wee bit self-righteous yesterday. Then I got this link via an email from my friend Helen. Yes. I was convicted by a cat video. I’m grateful that I have friends and family that love me enough to tell me when I’m being a jerk, and a God who knows what a jerk I am but still loves me enough to sacrifice His Son so that I might live. So this is for them. And a very big thanks to Helen, who is awesome.

Incidentally, there is a disturbingly high number of cat videos on youtube…

Hope springs eternal

November 21, 2008 in all things fancy,but I digress,children,family,gratitude,heredity,hope,turkey with 15 Comments

“Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.” James 1:17
I honestly believe that. I believe that whatever good traits and talents we have are His gifts to be used for His Glory. I also believe that if it is God’s will for you to be a great writer, even if you don’t know how to read, He will provide circumstances in your life to see His will accomplished. With God, all things are possible.
Having said that, I also believe that certain abilities and traits (good and bad) are passed down either by heredity or simply by growing up around said traits and abilities. I’d be willing to bet that anyone who has a child over the age of 3 has seen a personality trait in their child that they immediately recognize as one that is shared by either themselves or their spouse. Of course, the bad ones can usually be attributed to the spouse, but I digress.
Both my children are good examples of this hypothesis. But I will focus on my daughter Rachel for the purposes of this blog post. She loves all things creative (me), is a problem solver (Ron), a bit of a diva (Ron, okay me), loves to sing (me), paint (me), is good at building things (Ron), likes to read (me), is sensitive to the feelings of others (hopefully both of us), laughs easily (me), and is a total grouch in the morning (totally Ron). And while she is completely unique and has her own distinct personality, she is also a combination of the two of us. She looks more like me, but I’ve got dominant genes on my side (brown hair, eyes, etc.).
There is one thing about her that kinda baffles me. She is a total girly girl. It’s not that I don’t love that about her, I think it’s incredibly adorable. I just don’t know where that came from. She love pink, Barbies, her American Girl dolls, fashion (i.e. – all things fancy), and jewelry. I’m just not like that at all. And Ron, well, don’t even go there. As evidence, I present Exhibits A, B and C: Rachel’s room circa 2004, 2006 and 2008, respectively. Not to stray off topic, but I feel the need to say that while I have redecorated this space several times, everything you see was either given to me, bought from a garage sale, made by my own hands, or bought at a low, low sale price. (Elbow grease and paint can go a long way and retail is for suckers.)
Now, back to the my original train of thought. As a parent, I secretly delight when I see my children take interest in or excel at something that I’m into. Just as I cringe when I see a less desirable trait that I share, like forgetting where they put anything, rear its ugly head. But in all honesty, as long as she is true to who she is, I’m good with it. I have accepted the fact that my daughter is the living embodiment of “Fancy Nancy”.
Tonight was open house at the kids’ school. When I walked into my daughter’s classroom, her teacher greeted my husband and me, then immediately asked if we had seen Rachel’s turkey. Typically, kids this age and younger make a paper turkey, and on each feather write something they are thankful for. On this particular turkey, their instructions were to imagine the turkey could talk and write some of the things that he or she would say. (Her teacher is awesome.) Imagine my surprise when I read the following on Rachel’s turkey:
-Please do not eat me because I am pregnant.
-Please do not eat me because I am krazy.
-Please do not eat me because I am too big for your oven.
-Please do not eat me because I will explode in your oven and cover it with blood.
-Please do not eat me because I have diarrhea.
Perhaps the apple doesn’t fall too far from the tree after all. (*smile*)
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