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Warning: Twitter update w/much talk of yarking

It’s been several weeks since I’ve done a twitter update. I’ve been busy with some other stuff, then I got sick this week, etc. So, when I sat down to compile my tweets from the past few weeks, I started putting some things together based on tweets and the timeline.

Do you want to know a theory of mine? Editing makes you sick. As always, these tweets are in backwards order. If you’ll notice, early on, @billycoffey was sick (while still maintaining his no-vomit streak). Guess what he was doing when he got sick? Editing. Then, a few days later, I got sick. Guess what I’ve been doing? Yep–editing. So there you go…

Of course, it could have been that deep-fried Monte Cristo sandwich I ate the other night, but you never know…

A very edited version of the best of me (or not) on the twitter for the past couple of weeks:

@billycoffey Bet that moment was right up there w/reading your book. Snort!

RT @billycoffey: SNOW DAY endorser Don Mattingly named manager of Los Angeles Dodgers

RT badbananaWhen Frodo was saved by giant eagles after walking all the way to Mt. Doom, I bet he was all “WE HAVE GIANT EAGLES?!?!?!”

I am convinced there is some unwritten ordinance that requires that at least one nail salon occupy space at any strip mall.

“Children need encouragement. If a kid gets an answer right, tell him it was a lucky guess. That way he develops a good, lucky feeling. – J Handy

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go back to bed & pray that I start feeling better or Jesus comes back.

Subtitled: I think I have food poisoning. Please feel free to submit many haikus tomorrow.

I am sick. I was going to write a katdishionary post tomorrow, but b/c @marni71 & @redclaydiaries inspired me, tomorrow: Platypus Rainbow 2

Okay, feeling crappy. Gonna try and get some rest. Miss me!

Well, @billycoffey may be the Cal Ripken of not puking, but I broke my streak in spades last night. Ugh!

Daughter: I’ve been hanging out w/the other Asian girls at school. Me: you’re 1/4 Asian. Daughter: I know,but still.

Decision is a sharp knife that cuts clean & straight. Indecision is a dull one that hacks & tears & leaves ragged edges behind.~J McKeithen

RT beckfromfrogandtoad The kids are s-p-e-l-l-i-n-g their conversation to keep it a secret from me. INGENIOUS!

@ExpeditionNovel It would probably be a mostly true work of fiction. Or, as I like to call it, a Faction.

@ExpeditionNovel Thanks. I appreciate that. But when it comes to my own writing, I have a tendency towards devastating laziness

@gyoung9751 More of a life verse, really. (in reply to gyoung9751 @katdish “if veiled threats of violence work, I’m willing to go there.” A theme for the advertising campaign?)

@salamicat I want you to read @billycoffey’s book because you want to, but if veiled threats of violence work, I’m willing to go there

RT @billycoffey: There is magic in this world, I will say. God is the magician. And we are His hands. – #SnowDay

RT @marni71: @katdish Don’t think it’s robots, but I don’t think they can help u since they R busy w/their banana eating & poo flinging

@marni71 Do they have actual humans working there, or just robots?

Do you know what’s great? Sending an email to Amazon only to get a computer generated auto-reply that does not address the issue. – NOT

Wise counsel >RT @billycoffey: @kelybreez I’ve never known @katdish not to be. Wouldn’t want to get on her bad side, though.

@TchrEric Good morning, Eric. You’d better have a great day. (in reply to TchrEric @katdish Morning bossy lady! :))

@billycoffey Again, you’re welcome. It’s what I do. (in reply to billycoffey @HeatheroftheEO I think @katdish thinks she’s a role model and spiritual guide to everyone.)

Did you know you can get War & Peace free on Kindle? Much lighter than its original hardcover version.

When I asked why she was selling it, she said because people collect them. Oh, that makes it okay.

Can y’all read what that says? I bought it off some troll who doesn’t care they’re taking money from the author.

@HeatheroftheEO She’s too stubborn to be molded. (in reply to HeatheroftheEO RT @katdish: @TchrEric I consider myself more of a role model and spiritual guide to @billycoffey (I thought you led @redclaydiaries too?)

@TchrEric I consider myself more of a role model and spiritual guide to @billycoffey

@TchrEric I’m a bossy everything. (in reply to TchrEric @katdish Oh….and you would know about the “bossy mom” thing right? :))

If eating peanut butter straight out of the jar is wrong, I don’t wanna be right.

Yes…THAT Don Mattingly!

“Everybody needs a snow day! To slow down and take a breath of what really is important.” ~ Don Mattingly

@learell RT @katdish: Does anyone know when the new Angry Birds game is coming out? // One day before my wife leaves me.

Just looked at the fundraising stuff my kids brought home. 3 beautiful, full color catalogs of crap I don’t need.

“And could you keep your heart in wonder at the daily miracles of your life, your pain would not seem less wondrous than your joy”~Gibran

“I’ve no time for broads who want to rule the world alone. Without men, who’d do up the zipper on the back of your dress?” – Bette Davis

@TchrEric Did you know that @billycoffey hasn’t puked since Christmas Eve, 1995? That’s impressive.

@billycoffey I think I just threw up in my mouth a little. (in reply to billycoffey @katdish Something’s loaded.)

@billycoffey Bases loaded? (in reply to billycoffey @katdish It’s the bottom of the ninth.)

@billycoffey Are you still the Carl Ripken of not puking? Is your streak still alive?

Kitchen Tip: Never store paprika next to cinnamon. #oatmealfail

“I haven’t thrown up since Christmas Eve, 1995. I’m the Cal Ripken of not puking.” – @billycoffey

RTnoveldoctor Deep-frying makes everything taste better. Except maybe disappointment. And Junior Mints

@HeatherSunseri Remember the good old days when you put on mascara while driving instead of checking your emails?

@PaperIsDue Are you saying Paper is Due is not your real name? (in reply to PaperIsDue I think of you all by your twitter names. If I ever meet you in real life, I will call you the wrong thing.)

@MarketerMikeE Don’t sell yourself short, Mike. I’m sure you’ve annoyed lots of people on twitter. (in reply to MarketerMikeE I haven’t annoyed enough people on Twitter, I’ve decided to take a crack at it on Facebook.)

*?*&@#!!! Ahh…I feel better now.

Having a corn dog for lunch. Was going to go w/mustard, but I’m trying to eat more fruits & veggies. Ketchup it is.

So…trying to check off a bunch of stuff from my To-Do list this morning. Think I need to take a short breather. Hello, #AngryBirds!

@sarahmsalter Oh, wait…it’s not directness I struggle with. It’s sarcasm

@sarahmsalter You know, I struggle with being direct sometimes, but I think I’m getting better, don’t you?

Too subtle?

Writing my endorsement for @billycoffey’s soon to be released debut novel, #SnowDay. How’s this?: “Buy this book, or you’re dead to me.”

@CandySteele So, what is that? Squitter? (in reply to CandySteele @katdish In the squirrel world, they are only allowed 15 characters. Unless you’re a ninja squirrel.)

@CandySteele @redclaydiaries He certainly has an economy of words. But maybe not for a squirrel

@redclaydiaries GAAAA! Where’s my backscratcher (in reply to redclaydiaries @katdish Good idea. How bout a dog hair snuggie?)

@redclaydiaries You know what your avatar needs? Some dog hair. Maybe one of those ribbons made of dog hair.

@redclaydiaries Hey! Like you new avatar, just can’t get used to it. Keep wondering who that chick in my friends column is. Delete

Thinking of writing a song about washing my daughter’s clothes all day. Working title: “Glitter in the lint trap”

Anyone who says a dog is not useful has never spilled a plate of rice on the kitchen floor.

Sorry….had to rant. Carry on…

I’m so sick of unethical people.

And you are on my crap list in black sharpie.

If you have a publisher’s copy of a book marked “not for resale” & you choose to sell it, you’re taking money away from the author.

Well, duh…I had no idea Angry birds had secret powers.

@melissa_rae There are some who follow for the courtesy refollow & then dump you. Gotta lay the unfollow hammer down on them.

Fixin’ to go eat some Tex-Mex. If you don’t know what that is, so sorry. You’re missing out.

Motivation and intent mean a great deal to me. Don’t NOT do something b/c you’re afraid to get caught, don’t do it b/c it’s WRONG.

@duane_scott Who me? Bossy?

Never been much for computer games. So how is it that Angry Birds is appealing? It just makes me smile.

Wilford Brimley, naked gymnastics & praying for your ungrateful heart

I want to apologize in advance for the length of this post. I cut quite a few tweets, but still…Apparently I had way too much to talk about with my imaginary friends on the twitter this week. (And yes, Darlene, they are in backwards order, because I’m lazy like that.)

And now, the best of me (or not) on the twitter this week:

Okay, folks! See you in a couple of days. Send pizza.

#FF @peterpollock My go to geek and website/host guru who tolerates my bossy self.

@karenzach Just remember Karen, you are very special. Just like everyone else. (in reply to karenzach @katdish glad to be one of thousands)

Hey! I just hit 2000 followers! (Not literally, of course.)

@amysorrells Okay…that took a moment to sink in. Now, I’m thoroughly grossed out. (in reply to amysorrells @katdish might that be because no one replaced the TP?)

@MarketerMikeE You’re welcome. And mmm….Taco Bell. (in reply to MarketerMikeE @katdish you made me laff outloud in Taco Bell. Thank you)

@SurfCorp Your hair looks fabulous today, Jacques (in reply to @SurfCorp Make someone successful today. Refer them for a job, fix their flat, compliment their hair, pay them to wash your car. Do something nice)

Usually, my dog doesn’t stink. We go about our lives taking this for granted. Then one day I wake up & he smells like @$$. This is that day.

I don’t know! >RT @br8kthru: @katdish send me another $32.50 & I’ll absolve you from your email chain too. What would you do without me?

Also, please pray for my ungrateful heart, as I am once again going to break another email chain.

@br8kthru Your love offering check is in the mail (in reply to br8kthru @katdish this is what I’m here for. Unfortunately, now you owe me $32.50. :))

@br8kthru Thanks, Jason. It gives me peace to know a holy man will be praying for me. (in reply to br8kthru @katdish you and your DVD are in my prayers…)

Okay…totally kidding. Sort of.

It has been said there are no small prayers, so would you join me in praying the UPS man delivers Season 6 of #Lost today? Thanks!

#FF @marni71: In a word, snarktacular!

I’m mad as hell, and I’m not going to take it anymore!!! (This is what my kids will hear when they get home.)

For hilariously inappropriate yet accidental #hashtags, #FF @CandySteele

Okay. I’ll do a #FF: For great, in-depth stories about dog poo, follow @redclaydiaries

@redclaydiaries Why, thank you evil twin! (in reply to redclaydiaries I haven’t #followfriday’d in FOREVER. Here’s one: @katdish because she’s my evil twin & she’s THIS CLOSE to 2000 followers.)

@CassFrear Good morning! Now I have to google “inimitable” to see if you just insulted or complimented me. (in reply to CassFrear @katdish Morning, you inimitable blogger you! #FF)

Now, that’s more like it >RT @HeatheroftheEO: #FF @katdish Because she’s not sweet

Thanks for the #FF, but are you sure you don’t have me confused w/someone else? >RT @AuthorShauna: #FF @katdish because she’s sweet

@karenzach She could introduce you to the wooden butler of Walla Walla (in reply to karenzach @katdish I have got to get over to meet Darlene. WW is about half-an-hour from me.)

@katiemoon Just so you know, I went ahead and gave myself 5 points. Cuz you’re not the boss of me. (in reply to katiemoon @katdish nope. no points for that.)

@katiemoon I wrote a “change of transportation home” note to a teacher today. Does that count? (in reply to katiemoon When was the last time you sent a handwritten note to someone?)

“Nothing tears a family apart…like a pack of wolves.” – Jack Handey

Just returned from ciriculum/PTA nite at Jr High. Quote: “This will be our only fundraiser this year. Until the next fundraiser”. Huh?

@jewda4 Thanks Jeff. After reading that tweet 3 times, I think I understand what you said. I think I need to refill my ritalin meds.

And….the thats have it! Thank you @Helenatrandom @mansibhatia @St1jere @keithjennings @lightherlamp @Jngla

And by “nerds”, I mean, brilliant wordsmtihs, of course.

Quick! Grammar Nerds: Which is correct?: “something that was better” or “something which was better”? Or does it matter?

Wilford Brimley in Rock me Dia-bee-tus:

@HeatherSunseri You’re so thoughtful. I keep offering to buy my husband a swimming pool, but he won’t accept my gracious offer. (in reply to HeatherSunseri @katdish Well, i’m thinking i need to get the box set for my hubby. i’m already looking forward to my selfless gift.)

@HeatherSunseri I have a 9 and 13 year old. And no, when I watch #lost, I lock myself in my office & don’t talk to anyone. (in reply to HeatherSunseri @katdish Hey, Katdish, don’t you have a ten or eleven year old? have you let them watch #lost ?)

@JeanneDamoff Awesome! I’ll make up some commemorative bible bookmarks to mark the occassion. (in reply to JeanneDamoff @katdish I don’t think people actually meet for a “prayer chain.” But if @marni71 promises to wear her sweater and headband, I would come.)

@Helenatrandom I think @billycoffey’s 4th book should be about us. (in reply to Helenatrandom @marni71 @katdish I’m sure he’ll make it up to us at the next workshop. @billycoffey)

@marni71 Perhaps @buzzbyannies or @helenatrandom could provide a meal for the meeting in the crockpot of love. (in reply to marni71 @katdish We all should. Let’s start a prayer chain. I might have an embroidered sweater and headband somewhere, so I can head up the chain)

@marni71 I’m gonna pray for @billycoffey’s ungrateful heart. (in reply to marni71 @katdish I know. Here we’ve been soooo nice to him and @billycoffey yells at us and kicks @Helenatrandom out. So rude.)

@marni71 Yeah! What a jerk! @billycoffey (in reply to marni71 @Helenatrandom That’s just harsh. You’re the peace-maker among us. See if I ever sign up for his stupid workshops again…) (@helenatrandom @marni71 No worries Marns. I was at the same workshop. He had me escorted out by @weightwhat…)

@marni71 Oh, please….@billycoffey would be honored to have our esteemed company. (in reply to marni71 @katdish He yelled, he snapped his fingers and even counted to 5. And we still wouldn’t shut up. Poor Billy.)

@marni71 Some dreams really do come true, Marns. (in reply to marni71 Last night I dreamed I was attending a writing workshop led by @billycoffey. And he kept telling @katdish and I to stop being loud.)

Automated gas pump: Is this a debit card? Me: Yes. Automated gas pump: We no longer accept debit cards Me: Your timing sucks.

Already written over $200 in checks to cover misc. school activities. Good thing we don’t pay outrageous school taxes. Oh, wait. Nevermind.

@Helenatrandom If I was a kid in school, I think you’d be my favorite teacher.

@JeffHolton Well if he does, I claim intellectual property rights. (in reply to JeffHolton @katdish I think it’d also make a good title for a Jimmy Buffet song.)

Okay, not really. I totally ripped that off from @MarketerMikeE . If you DO google “Pornographic Cheese Butler” you will find my blog

Someone googled “Pornographic Cheese Butler” and found this blog post: The Legend Continues, Part 1

@CassFrear Katdish beauty tip #2: Dont get pedis in dark, seedy nail salons, U may get an eyelash in your big toe

Shocked my daughter doesn’t know God Bless America. So I start belting it out, loud and proud… “From the mountains, to the prairie, to the oceans….something, something! God Bless America, my home sweet home!

@CassFrear I am a wealth of beauty information. Okay, maybe not so much… (in reply to CassFrear @katdish Have you considered a series on beauty tips, katdish-style?)

Katdish beauty tip: If you’re bangs are too long, using a flat iron on them is not recommended. #hairfail

My son’s latest chore is emptying the dishwasher, so I use 3-4 cups a day like he used to do. I’m all about teachable moments.

@dutchhillgirl He’s a little slow… (in reply to dutchhillgirl @katdish Yeah! You tell him. LOL @billycoffey I thought we already established that women are always right?)

@billycoffey Maybe you need a new cowboy hat. You’re head’s getting too big for that one. (in reply to billycoffey @katdish I don’t have to. I know @weightwhat likes me best.)

@billycoffey Oh, stop trying to flatter your way into @weightwhat taking your side.

@weightwhat Cyber fist bump

RT @weightwhat @katdish I think you should put school stickers on @billycoffey’s car. He’s clearly not supportive enough of your kids.

@duane_scott @billycoffey says I’m a bad mom for not putting school stickers on my car, but he’s just being disagreeable. (in reply to duane_scott Would someone mind sharing what Im voting for? // RT @katdish: @billycoffey Blind devotion does not impress me.)

@billycoffey Jealous, much? (in reply to billycoffey @karenzach She only appreciates it when it’s directed at her.)

@billycoffey Blind devotion does not impress me. (in reply to billycoffey @katdish Three for me. @duane_scott is with me, too. And he doesn’t even care what it is.)

RT @billycoffey: @katdish Ha! @pauharri is on my team.//Then he’s dead to me.

@billycoffey Oh, please. You should be used to me being right by now. (in reply to billycoffey @katdish Never!)

I have 4 in agreement with me, and one opposed. Majority wins. @billycoffey is wrong. (in reply to @billycoffey @katdish You’re a horrible mother.)

Am I a bad mom if I don’t want to put school decals on my car? I really don’t like putting that stuff on my back window.

@Helenatrandom RT @weightwhat: @katdish GAAAAAA!!!! (in reply to Helenatrandom @katdish Wouldn’t you just hate to be the one with the job of polishing the pommel horse after that competition?)

@Helenatrandom And the person using the pommel horse next.(in reply to Helenatrandom @katdish I think they should at least wear a cup on the pommel horse. For the sake of the spectators…)

Last week I tweeted about vanilla scented garbage, this week naked gymnastics. I am a wealth of information. Tell your friends.

@Helenatrandom Great minds (in reply to Helenatrandom @katdish pommel horse.)

@weightwhat Ewh! Or the pommel horse! Gaaa! (in reply to weightwhat @katdish And don’t even get me started on the uneven bars.)

@weightwhat Yes. The balance beam event alone makes me shudder. (in reply to weightwhat @katdish Wow, that brings up a lot of unpleasant mental pictures.)

Snort! I just deleted a spam comment from “naked gymnast”. Now there’s a niche market.

What I did today. Subtitled: A girl and her hatchet.,

I’m going to cut down some tree limbs, and possibly set them on fire in the 55 gallon drum out back. Ah, I heart no deed restrictions!

Daughter just yelled at her bro: You think you’re the King of Awesomeness, but you’re SO NOT! (Snort!)

@beckfromfrogandtoad I’m all ears. Like my mom says, “If you don’t have anything nice to say, come sit next to me.”

Gee, your trash can smells terrific!

(twitpic courtesy of @weightwhat)

I follow around 1800 folks on twitter, give or take a few. And no, I don’t read everyone’s tweets, but I’m somewhat selective about whom I follow. When someone follows me, before I refollow, I look at their profile and read their last few tweets. If it’s someone that makes me smile, makes me think and generally looks like a real person, I will refollow. There’s some great info, some great links and some great conversations on twitter. And then there’s me…

The best of me (or not) on the twitter this week:

@melissa_rae Thanks, Melissa! If only all my minions…er…followers were as agreeable!

RT @melissa_rae I follow @katdish she told me to. And you have to do whatever she says. #ff

@makeadiff21 Well, that doesn’t sound very appetizing at all (in reply to makeadiff21 @katdish The last ones I had tasted like dirty feet. :-P)

@CandySteele I’ve noticed that too, but @billycoffey’s blog is still working!: #nastypimptweet (in reply to CandySteele @buzzbyannies @katdish Actually I think someone broke the internet. Many blogs are funky this morning. AL??? AL???)

@br8kthru Wear that sweater vest proudly, my friend. (in reply to br8kthru @katdish also an officer and a gentleman…)

@br8kthru You’re a gentleman and a scholar, Jason. (in reply to br8kthru @katdish see! If I were going to smell garbage, I’d rather fight it with better smelling garbage. I’m a thinker. :))

@pagan43 I’m against them. Especially if they smell like vanilla. (in reply to pagan43 @katdish How do you feel about scented toilet paper roll holders ?)

@br8kthru @Helenatrandom @pagan43 I would prefer my garbage liners not be scented, but me thinks pine would be a better choice

@Helenatrandom My point exactly. (in reply to Helenatrandom @katdish Yeah, I don’t know why they make scented trash can liners. Like my garbage doesn’t already smell all sweet and attractive.)

Dear makers of scented trash can liners, Vanilla scented garbage isn’t really working for me.

@JeanneDamoff And you get 50 points for telling @helenatrandom to speak English

@JeanneDamoff Yay! (in reply to JeanneDamoff @katdish @Nick_theGeek Your remark about stabbing (and envy thereof) made me laugh out loud. 50 points.)

@Nick_theGeek Well, here’s hoping you get the opportunity. (in reply to Nick_theGeek @katdish I didn’t get to stab anyone … yet.)

@Nick_theGeek Luck-eeee (in reply to Nick_theGeek Anytime I get to stab someone it’s a good day)

In an effort to get my kids used to a new school schedule, I made them go to bed early last night. My daughter is now fully dressed and asleep on the couch.

@JeanneDamoff Ah, well. The non-virtual world requires my full attention sometimes, & I’m happy to oblige.

I love the smell of Amdro fire ant killer in the morning. Die, fire ant scum!

@dannyjbixby Thanks for sharing. (in reply to dannyjbixby Two pounds of steak at dinner = intestinal crisis the next morning…)

@Helenatrandom Oh come on! That song is a classic. “Never trust a big butt & a smile”? Epic.(in reply to Helenatrandom @katdish You expect me to know rap? Really??)

@redclaydiaries Hold the phones, we have a winner: in reply to redclaydiaries @buzzbyannies @katdish @Helenatrandom Did “She’s Poison” get figured out? Isn’t that Bel Biv Devoe?)

@NilsenLife Somehow, that doesn’t surprise me. (in reply to NilsenLife @katdish are you kidding? I always have Van Halen in my head. lol.)

@Helenatrandom Oooo! Do you remember that song called “She’s Poison”? Who sang that? (in reply to Helenatrandom @buzzbyannies That’s Poison.)

@marciw7 The Walmart school supply aisle is a war zone to be avoided if possible. (in reply to marciw7 @katdish wat happened to getting them at wal mart? are they “trying” to be more efficent? hang in there!)

Meanwhile, no line in the “haven’t bought school supplies yet” section. I knew I should have stayed a slacker mom.

Waiting in line for school supplies. That I’ve already paid for. Did I mention that I’ve already paid for them?

I really like it when she agrees with me @amysorrells

@amysorrells RT @katdish: I love the way she does twitter recommendations @MaryDeMuth // yep!!!

I love the way she does twitter recommendations @MaryDeMuth

RT @myapronstrings: Oh my gosh I have a taaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaalker. Especially right after school. Still listening…

My daughter bought a dog toy for @buddylovethedog. His name is Justin Beaver.

“Cheat your landlord if you can & must, but do not try to shortchange the Muse. It cannot be done. You cannot fake quality any more than you can fake a good meal.” – William Burroughs

Answer: Chick-fil-a. Question: Where should you never go at noon in Katy, TX?

Okay. Gotta go interface with the non-virtual world

@amysorrells pot… (in reply to amysorrells @katdish kettle . . .)

I just got a fail whale. Everybody stop talking for a sec…

“Look for more from this talented author in the future” ~ Library Journal (@billycoffey)

RT @shanonpstowe Congrats to @billycoffey — @LibraryJournal calls his new novel “Snow Day” ‘…a sure bet…’

@dukeslee wanted to share this pic I took when our whole church went camping. I looked up and there it was.

@Helenatrandom Don’t confuse the issue, Helen. Inquiring minds wanna know… (in reply to Helenatrandom @katdish I don’t think she was talking about Sweet Baby Jesus on this post at all…)

For the love of Sweet Baby Jesus, would someone please tell me who @redclaydiaries is talking about?:

Gus: Shaun, you’ve never read the Bible have you? Shaun: Genesis, Exorcist, Leviathan, Doooo the right thing!

Mr Guster, sorry to interrupt, but there’s a Lt. Crunch here to see you. Shaun: Actually, I’ve been promoted. It’s Captain Crunch. #psych

@CassandraFrear especially the purse my sister gave me for my b-day. You could fit a German Shepherd in there (in reply to CassandraFrear @katdish Good thing, I’m not with you. One of them might go home in your purse.)

@TchrEric I think I read that in the cookbook “101 ways to wok your dog” (in reply to TchrEric @katdish It’s all in the presentation my dear…(and the correct herbs and spices)….)

@TchrEric Of course, I can’t speak for other parts of the world, where the latter may be true.

@TchrEric Apparently, there’s such a thing as dog bakeries. Meaning they make treats for dogs, not out of them. (in reply to TchrEric @katdish Oh Kat…I am sure someone already has…and, the our society is at times, they probably are making good money from the endeavor.)

Happy Birthday @herbiegookins, wherever you are!

@kelybreez You’re eating dog food? Is this a subtle attempt for sympathy seed funding? (in reply to kelybreez @katdish Hey, kat, don’t knock ’em till ya try ’em! They’re better than people Cheetos.)

Life sized Barbie sold separately.

Cheetos. For dogs. (rolls eyes)

Overheard at Petsmart: Someone needs to invent a birthday cake for dogs. Um….no.

@kelybreez I rest my case. (in reply to kelybreez @katdish I say, “Honey, if it’s more than three things, ya gotta make a list.” And still I have to call.)

You can spot married men at the grocery store. They’re the ones staring blankly at the shelves talking on their cell phones.

@RachelleGardner Nice save. (in reply to RachelleGardner Due to a rickety table in @Starbucks, my entire (untasted) grande Americano is all over me & the floor. Laptop unharmed!)

My daughter wants new bedroom furniture. Her request is simple: bed, dresser & desk. Oh, & they need to be lime green.

RT @marni71 I’m Shaun and this is MC Clap Yo Hands…with a z! #Psych

I have just received an email. I am overwhelmingly excited! PCB has been spotted. Pictures have been taken. #Ineedalife

Chicken Soup for the Twitter ho’s soul

image courtesy of

So, I was doing some “research” for Friday’s post about horrible teacher gifts, and the topic of the “Chicken Soup for the Soul” series of books came up. If I had a dollar for every one of those books that were published, I would feel really guilty about charging people a dollar for one of those books! If your so inclined, check out this Wikipedia link, which has an alphabetical listing of all of them. Frightning. In other news, @billycoffey is getting a little uppity with me again.

The best of me (or not) on the twitter this week:

Answer: Tell me what you really think. Question: What’s something you’ll probably never need to say to me?

@MarketerMikeE areyougoingtodothisalldaylong? #oneword (in reply to MarketerMikeE Friend #oneword)

@curtharding I used to tell my old boss, “It’s not so much you blowing your nose that bothers me. It’s when the geese hit the window.”

@MarketerMikeE Stopdoingthat #oneword (in reply to MarketerMikeE Weekend #oneword)

RT @dutchhillgirl @billycoffey I see… But you should know by now that women are always right. 😉 @katdish

@billycoffey You’re welcome. (in reply to billycoffey @dutchhillgirl See what I have to put up with?)

See what I mean? >RT @billycoffey: @katdish Oh shut up!

In case any of you are wondering, when @billycoffey tells me to “shut up”, he actually means, “katdish, you’re right”

@amysorrells How about if I just re-gift you one? (in reply to amysorrells @katdish You couldn’t have picked a more perfect metaphor. Don’t ever buy me one of those things.)

@amysorrells Thanks. Tell me I’m wrong about the Chicken Soup books. You know it’s true.

@Helenatrandom I’m good. Just finished writing my post. Thanks for following the 11th commandment: Thou shalt RT @billycoffey’s posts.

@JCWert That probably should have been a DM, Jason. Snort! (in reply to JCWert @katdish I actually enjoyed Chicken Soup for the NASCAR Fan’s Soul.)

“Chicken Soup for the School Crossing Guard’s Soul”? I rest my case.

The Chicken Soup for the Soul book conversation is leaning towards proving my theory. It is simply a no-brainer gift.

@sarahmsalter No. (in reply to sarahmsalter @katdish @PeterPollock Okay, so would you be surprised to know that I’ve actually read a couple of them?)

@PeterPollock Snort! My thoughts exactly. (in reply to PeterPollock @katdish I’ve seen them on the shelves but I’ve never actually seen on ‘in the wild’. I thought they were just there to decorate the store)

@PeterPollock No, Peter. Actual chicken soup made out of souls….Yes, the books! (in reply to PeterPollock @katdish Does anyone ever buy Chicken Soup for the Soul books?)

Does anyone ever buy Chicken Soup for the Soul books to read? Or are they strictly purchased to give as gifts?

@sarahmsalter Do they teach math in NC? (in reply to sarahmsalter @katdish At the dollar stores here, NOT everything is a dollar.)

#FOTTSP: Bringing quality, in depth information & entertainment since the late 70s presents: Angry Panda

Everyone should start their day with a little Ninja Cat:

@MarketerMikeE Snort! (in reply to MarketerMikeE RT @katdish: @PeterPollock I love your accent! Like buttah! // Yep, and when he puts on the Barry White music, Wow!)

That would be me >RT @PeterPollock: I spoke to a Texan lady today. She didn’t sound as if she should look like boss Hogg at all.

In preparation for the beginning of the school year, I just ordered the first 4 seasons of #Psych from Netflix.

RT @ispeakcanadian: Raspberry vinaigrette, meet my pants. Pants, meet raspberry vinaigrette. So glad you two got so well acquainted so soon

It’s so encouraging to know that I’ve helped so many spam commenters with their college assignments.

@redclaydiaries Psssst! Do NOT say “Ass Clown”. (in reply to redclaydiaries In meeting w/ @charliewetzel, @johncmaxwell & others on publishing & social media. (Waiting till agenda includes me.)

RT @billycoffey Just got off the phone with @AcquireGuy about my second novel, Paper Angels. Awesome guy. We’re both very excited

@billycoffey Yeah. I’m sure you did. (in reply to billycoffey @katdish I meant that in the nicest way possible.)

@billycoffey “You people”? Mmm hmmm….I see how you are. (in reply to billycoffey @katdish Figures. You people don’t do much that’s small and quiet.)

@billycoffey Big and loud. (in reply to billycoffey @katdish @marni71 Morning ladies. How’s life in Texas?)

@billycoffey That pretty much applies to any morning for me. Good morning! (in reply to billycoffey Tuesday mornings are best tackled with coffee and laughter. My experience, anyway.)

Twitter won’t let me RT stuff. It’s making me stabby

@redclaydiaries Nor the facial hair I imagine. (in reply to redclaydiaries @katdish Reminds me of the BeeGees. At 12, I was convinced that they were women. Tho I couldn’t reconcile that with all their lyrics)

@redclaydiaries Oh, be nice! She’s got a lovely voice! (in reply to redclaydiaries Justin Bieber local concert: Good news: his jeans are less shrink-wrapped than usual. Bad: purple shoes.)

@Brian_Russell Keep reaching for the stars, Brian! (in reply to Brian_Russell All my hard work to move everything in my office is working! Network performance up from POOR to MARGINAL!)

How much time do you spend on twitter? Find out here: (Apparently, I need to get out of my parent’s basement)

RT @BIGE8UP: Discovered I scream the same way whether I’m about 2 B devoured by great white shark or if a piece of seaweed touches my foot.

@Helenatrandom Thanks. I’ll be here all week.

“I asked my mother if I was adopted. She said, Not yet, but we placed an ad.” ~ Dana Snow

RT @marni71 I can hear 3 distinct crickets in my office, but can’t find them. Must. Control. Fist. Of. Death.

@gabbysherri Oh, and good morning.

@gabbysherri Don’t be buying a bunch of crap. (in reply to gabbysherri On my way to the thrift store. Today is 50 cent bargain day! WOOT! WOOT!)

@JCWert That’s because Jesus isn’t a spineless coward.

RT @JCWert Jesus wouldn’t leave anonymous comments attacking other Christians on their blogs. A follower of Christ shouldn’t either.

Tweeting from Echo#10 et. al.

image courtesy of (and they don't)

I didn’t write a twitter post  last Saturday because I spent the weekend camping, after spending the previous three days in Dallas at the Echo Church media conference. This is a highly edited (you’re welcome) list of random tweets, many of which were tweeted from Dallas or possibly between Houston and Dallas. If you’re new here, they are in backwards order, because I’m lazy like that…

The best of me (or not) on the twitter from the last 2 weeks:

Great! Now I’ve got THAT on my conscious!

Just deleted a spam comment that said “I have been kidnapped by the Russian mafia. If U don’t approve this comment they will kill me.”

@muchl8r Thanks, Jake. Your grumpy old manish disposition probably inspires many young folks as well. (in reply to muchl8r @Katdish HAPPY B-DIDDY LADY!!!!! Your immaturity inspires a lot of middle-aged and probably old people ;))

I think I’m officially middle-aged today. Fortunately, my immaturity gives the illusion of youth

I love my dog & cat, but dang. Back off!

@CassandraFrear @SandraHeskaKing @RobinMArnold Snort! Thanks for all the virtual birthday celebration! Holy chicken paraphernalia!

In my intro for today’s guest post, I mention that I hated high school. Now I’m getting friend requests on FB from people I went to HS

“Too bad the person sending it to me did not know 10 people who would admit knowing the Lord. I know 10 people.” (Okay, seriously?)

“If I don’t get this back, I will know you didn’t read it.” ~ massive stupid email. Actually I did read it. It’s just lame

RT @Jasonajefferson: “The cops put me on this son of a bitch”-exactly what I want to hear from the guy who sits next to me on the Greyhound.

“Okay, people. We’re going to need a Speak & Spell and 7 pounds of mashed potatoes.” – Shaun, #psych

@PrairieLady Coward! I grew up driving in Houston. Which means I will tailgate you until you get out of my lane. (in reply to PrairieLady @katdish Wait … I don’t think I’d drive in Houston at all if I were paid! ha!)

@marni71 Tell him I’ll send him 20 bucks if he lets you twitpic him spinning in an oversized dryer (in reply to marni71 @katdish But on a high note, Dane and I have a date night tonight. Granted it’s at the laundromat, but still…)

Holy Human Hamster Balls!

The creepiest thing I’ve seen in a long time, & I watched a gator eat a frog yesterday: Trololo on #FOTTSP

FINALLY home again, after six days. And now for laundry…

@MarketerMikeE I just give it over to God. Like it says in the bible,”I beg your pardon, I never promised you a rose garden.” OSLT. (in reply to MarketerMikeE @katdish poor thing. Praying for you.)

@HisFireFly Wow! No a/c & only 2 channels? Do you make your own butter, too? Betcha have a heater in the winter, tho.

Not to mention the 3G is spotty at best. Snort!

Really roughing it this weekend. The air conditioned camper we rented only picks up local channels. No cable.

@katiemoon You had to add the quotation marks? Great hanging out this week! Thanks. (in reply to katiemoon @katdish so glad we connected this week, kathy! enjoy ‘camping’ : ))

I will be attending Not Losing yourself in social media this morning & sending out constant updates to all my followers

@FakeMediaGuy Oh, I see you now! (in reply to FakeMediaGuy @katdish I’m at Watermark Community Church in Dallas. I’m the guy wearing blue jeans and carrying a smartphone. #echo10)

@FakeMediaGuy Where are you? Who are you? #echo10

Sorry I haven’t been tweeting, but seeing everyone else do it makes me want to not do it. I heart non-conformity. #echo10

@marni71 Youre such a giver (in reply to marni71 @katdish I’ll just drive fast to the church and u can hang ur head out the window. #I’mhereforyou)

Judging by the mighty power of the hotel blow dryer, my hair should be dry in about an hour & 1/2

Let it be known that #echo10 played the double rainbow video, but #FOTTSP played it first @weightwhat

RT @foxnews: Thank you, headline gods: Naked New Mexico hitchhiker burned prosthetic leg with crack pipe

They’ve already won the pleasure of my company #echo10

Who’s in the blog breakout session? The first person to find me wins a quarter. Except for @marni71 or @sarahmsalter.#echo10

Rode the elevator w/a guy wearing a fedora, graphic tee and horn rimmed glasses #echo10? #wildguess

BOOM! SHAKA! ~ Shaun #psych

You would think the Muzak version of Hall & Oates’ Private Eyes would be really bad. And you would be correct. #elevatortweet

@weightwhat Wow….that was freaky (in reply to weightwhat @katdish And then you punched him in the neck?)

This just in: My room smells like Ben-Gay. No idea why

@redclaydiaries No, I ever so discreetly punched him in the neck. (in reply to redclaydiaries @katdish …and then you cut him, right?)

@weightwhat @sarahmsalter No, but some guy asked me if my phone was telling jokes. I told him to mind his business.

@weightwhat You know what would be really scary? A Mary Kay Clown Conference.

@marni71 I’m here! Back in the room. I was getting strange looks from people b/c I was laughing at my phone (in reply to marni71 I’m worried about @katdish. She’s undercover and hasn’t tweeted in a bit. I hope she hasn’t crossed over to the dark side.)

@blowingupecho Define rock star pants. And if you wear them, come find me. #echo10

@weightwhat So you’re like some kind of evil middle man? (in reply to weightwhat @katdish No, they just have a way of finding me. I think they’re trying to get to you through me.)

@weightwhat Do you actively seek out clown blogs? (in reply to weightwhat @katdish I found a clown fail blog today and thought of you. Go figure.)

@redclaydiaries None yet. But I’m open to suggestions. (in reply to redclaydiaries @buzzbyannies I do not know. That would be epic. @katdish, what inappropriate question did you ask?)

@marni71 Oh, they don’t scare me. (in reply to marni71 @buzzbyannies I’m worried about @katdish being all Mary Kay-ed up and sitting in a hotel bar alone. Those drinkin Baptists can’t be trusted)

@buzzbyannies It would get very ugly. (in reply to buzzbyannies @redclaydiaries I’d just like to see @Katdish in the middle of a MK conference. #awesome)

In the hotel bar looking for Echo Conference attendees. Working undercover for the SBC. #echo10

@buzzbyannies Oh, I have that crap painted over. (in reply to buzzbyannies @redclaydiaries @Marni71 I never took @Katdish to be someone who gets her pink on.)

@redclaydiaries I’m holding out for a pink Range Rover. (in reply to redclaydiaries @marni71 A pink Cadillac to go with the ghetto nail art? Interesting look… @katdish)

@sarahmsalter Oh I’m harmless. Not really, but still. I won’t cut you. (in reply to sarahmsalter @redclaydiaries Thanks. I’m just a little scared now. 🙂 @katdish)

@sarahmsalter Im good with the hello and goodbye hug. (in reply to sarahmsalter @katdish Yeah, I didn’t figure you for a touchy-feely type. I’ll try to restrain myself.)

@marni71 oh, like you’re the first person to tell me that. (in reply to marni71 @katdish you are in NORTH Dallas it’s trendy and wealthy. How did u end up in a ghetto “massage parlor”? U need to be supervised.)

@CandySteele This nail salon was very strange. Some big sweaty guy came in for a “massage”. Ewh.

RT @marni71: @CandySteele tweetdick. I almost just peed myself.

@buzzbyannies @CandySteele trust me, you can tell. I think there’s an eyelash painted into my big toe

@CandySteele @buzzbyannies Worst pedicure ever. (in reply to CandySteele @katdish Whaaa??? I thought this was a conference, not a beauty contest. First pedis and now Mary Kay?)

@buzzbyannies I’m at the hotel. Marns just texted me. Her and Sarah are looking for a Mary Kay convention

Having a pedi in the darkest nail salon ever watching a Vietnamese soap opera. Good times.

Downtown in rush hour traffic. Touché Dallas.

Dallas: I’m 50 miles away. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

@ButterflyBeacon You mean like asking him what’s up w/the platypus? Because that’s where I’m at intellectually (in reply to ButterflyBeacon RT @katdish: I think very random thoughts while driving. // So glad I’m not alone..actually I have interesting conversations with God.)

@buzzbyannies now Annie. You know I would never do that. Snort! (in reply to buzzbyannies @katdish Are you tweeting all this WHILE driving? If so, Texas should issue a travel advisory. Or warning.)

Corsicana…and buh bye.

Impossible for me not to smile when I hear Domino by Van Morrison.

@PensieveRobin I dunno. That cake in the rain song is a tear jerker. (in reply to PensieveRobin @katdish Saddest song evah!)

Confession: ABBA makes me stabby. Sorry @helenatrandom

Whenever I hear the song Cat’s in the Cradle, I feel compelled to make fun of it. Don’t know why

@MarketerMikeE Well duh. (in reply to MarketerMikeE Guess I’m the bigger sinner then.)

@MarketerMikeE I’m on I-45. Perfectly straight line. (in reply to MarketerMikeE RT @katdish: I think very random thoughts while driving.// Me too! I’m driving and thinking about tweeting. Oops. Oh crap.)

Also, there’s no such thing as a fresh bag of Boston baked beans. They’re selling old bags from the late 70’s.

For example, I think The Rolling Stones are the most overrated band in the history of music

I think very random thoughts while driving.

And…back on the road to @echoconference!

I’ll leave this one to the peanut gallery…

Yeah. It’s a giant beaver.

Passing thru Madisonville & had to stop here because, well, it’s Buc-ee’s

@Helenatrandom Well that’s a relief. I thought that Hwy patrolman was just being fresh. (in reply to Helenatrandom @katdish Have fun. Be safe. Wear clean undies. I hear if you are in an auto accident, the undies are the first thing they check.)

Why I love hating writing

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Well dang. I wrote a post this week called Why I hate writing that was very pissy. So pissy, if fact, that I almost didn’t publish it. Mucho gracio (yes–I’m bilingual) to @jewda for reading the rough draft and giving me the thumbs up to publish it. (Apparently, he is the boss of me.) It’s summertime and I have vowed not to look at my analytics unless absolutely necessary because not as many folks read blogs in the summer. (Yeah, yeah…it’s not about numbers, I know, but still–I don’t need that crushing blow to my ego.) But based on the number of comments and retweets, if I did check them, I’m guessing that post got quite a few hits. Which just proves my theory that writers are gluttons for punishment. If they weren’t, they wouldn’t be writers–Duh.

In other news, my house is still being invaded by evil lizards…

The best of me (or not) on the twitter this week:

@amysorrells Wait…I thought that was a good therapist. (in reply to amysorrells RT @noveldoctor: A good storyteller knows how to make questions look like answers and answers look like questions.)

“The road to hell is paved with adverbs.” ~ Stephen King

@Brian_Russell Yes. (in reply to Brian_Russell My church bothers me. Is that my fault or theirs?)

@KathleenOverby Now see — I’m down with that. (in reply to KathleenOverby @katdish @mrsmetaphor Loverby ‘roughs it’ for me-his idea is Embassy Suites.)

@KathleenOverby We are going camping next weekend. And by “camping” I mean A/C winnabago. That’s roughing it for me (in reply to KathleenOverby Do you camp?)

And….Good Morning! Going to the Walmarts to start your day is not advisable.

I’m considering writing a Part 2 to my Why I hate writing/writers post today. Because clearly, writers love the abuse.

RT @jewda”I think you need to work on being less of a fat lummox.” Arthur Spooner speaks right to my heart

@KathleenOverby Thanks. Anytime I can combine encouragement with an incessant rant, I consider that a personal victory (in reply to KathleenOverby @katdish You know how you love to encourage writers? …it’s a ‘cast your bread upon the waters’ thing… are in for a ride, girl~)

@ksluiter 96% of the time? What about the other 4%? Are you saying you don’t like me? (in reply to ksluiter @katdish me too. they are my favorite. because I relate 96% of the time.)

@ksluiter Well thank you. I love a good rant. (in reply to ksluiter @katdish that post was awesome.)

@Brian_Russell Even if they don’t deserve it, they think they do. Guess I can’t go wrong there (in reply to Brian_Russell They deserve it!)

Wow! My post is getting lots of traffic today. I should insult writers more often.

@gyoung9751 I was pretty grumpy yesterday… (in reply to gyoung9751 @katdish You toned it down? My hair caught on fire just reading it.)

@Helenatrandom Thanks. You should have seen it before I toned it down! (in reply to Helenatrandom @katdish Hi! Nice katrant today.)

@JeanneDamoff SNORT! I’m not telling you (in reply to JeanneDamoff @katdish “Why I hate writing (and writers)”//That’s not provocative, and no, I didn’t read your rant. (Am I in the 4%?)

Today is @BridgetChumbley’s birthday! Happy Birthday Bridget! (and thanks @helenatrandom for the reminder)

Why, yes…I AM up early this morning!

Great writing comes from the heart, but sometimes that heart needs to be broken before the words can come out. (via @noveldoctor)

Ahhh…..just wrote a really angry rant. And I mean pissy! Can’t decide if I want to publish it or not.

@rmaxwell142 It also has a Wii station, a coffee bar, fresh pastries, and several fish tanks. It’s the house that crooked teeth built.

Well of course my orthodontist’s office has a movie theater. Doesn’t yours?

@JeanneDamoff Snort! You sound like BC. (in reply to JeanneDamoff @katdish You’re welcome, bloggerly-but-could-be-writerly-if-she-wanted-to friend.)

@billycoffey @JeanneDamoff Thanks for the RTs my writerly friends!

@weightwhat Because of the gecko/lizard heckling (in reply to weightwhat @katdish Wait, why am I evil this time?)

@muchl8r I don’t think you actually grasp how disgusting those things are. And @weightwhat is just pure evil (in reply to muchl8r @katdish HOW ON EARTH DID I MISS THAT CONVERSATION?! I’m still laughing so hard I might pee my pants. :))

@muchl8r I am NOT a wuss!

@VariantVal I know. That’s why you love me so… (in reply to VariantVal @katdish your kindness knows no bounds)

@JCWert How could I possibly be lonely with all the voices in my head to keep me company?

@VariantVal On second thought. Don’t talk to me. (in reply to VariantVal @katdish how your lizards doing?)

Talk to me…

I hate spam comments. Especially ones disguised as real. “Great site! Lots of useful info here!” Please-you obviously haven’t read my blog.

@marni71 Great minds… (in reply to marni71 Snort! That’s what I was thinking.)

@SBeeCreations Chandlering? What’s that? Like Chandler Bing? (in reply to @SBeeCreations @marni71 Chandlering today! & Soaping! & labeling! & cleaning! Got into a B&M & they want 3 of everything!)

Walking for exercise is impossible with @BuddyLovetheDog. He has to stop and phantom pee on everything.

Despite what many folks will try to tell you, there are few shortcuts in life.

Okay tweetdeck…you’re dead to me.

Hey…is this thing on?

@weightwhat True dat. (in reply to weightwhat @katdish Well, why else would one go to Walmart?)

Sigh…Why do I always get behind people at Walmart who are stocking up for the apocalypse?

@Helenatrandom You hate me, don’t you? (in reply to Helenatrandom @VariantVal She was considering serving them with hot sauce, but I’m trying to talk her out of it. #worchestershiresauce @katdish)

@VariantVal I don’t know. I’ve considered a blow torch, but seeing as though they hang out in the eaves of my house, might not be prudent (in reply to VariantVal @katdish don’t they make lizard repellant? can you throw mothballs around to keep them out.. mothballs seem to work for everything)

@salamicat It’s a gecko. Pretty sure they come straight from the bowels of hell.

@Helenatrandom STOP!!! VURP!!! (in reply to Helenatrandom @katdish Worchestershire Sauce, NOT hot sauce…)

@VariantVal Yes. Then the cat kills them, the dog tries to eat them and vomits them up. It’s like a very disgusting Wild Kingdom. (in reply to VariantVal @katdish Oh my, you’re being invaded by Geiko lizards)

Gaaa! Another one. Welcome to my nightmare!

RT @billycoffey: Home is not necessarily where you live, but where you are understood.

“Some editors are failed writers, but so are most writers.” ~ T S Elliot

@jewda4 Ninjas…they’re everywhere. (in reply to jewda4 I just lost a bag of animal crackers. I was eating some, took a break to go on stage and sound check, and I don’t remember where i put them.)

In my defense, it was a very big frog…

Not to sound boastful, but I’m pretty fearless. Mostly. I have a few small phobias. I won’t tell you all of them, but one of them is general disgust of frogs, toads and those disgusting little brown spotted see-thru gecko lizards that I am quite sure come straight from the bowels of Hades. The other night, my husband was walking Buddy Love when he sticks his head in the door and tells me to grab the camera and the kids and come outside. Ugh! Gigantic, disgusting frog. Of course, I happened to on my computer at the time, so I thought I’d share my horror with the twitter. Sorry/you’re welcome. In other news, my daughter’s room is now clean and I conquered the laundry. All of it. Yesh!

The best of me (or not) on the twitter this week:

@gyoung9751 Snort! We could carry on entire conversations w/katdishionary terms alone. (in reply to gyoung9751 @katdish GAAAA! Vurp.)

@gyoung9751 Thanks. Of course….It’s like the Neverending Story, only with headcheese. (in reply to gyoung9751 Katdishionary Part 9, by @katdish Yay! Another installment!)

@MarketerMikeE Riiiight! (in reply to MarketerMikeE RT @katdish: @MarketerMikeE I think you’re enjoying calling me a ho// Christ like way to say ho is “Ho Ho Ho! Merry Christmas!”)

I think those ads that say “make money from home on your computer” mean “send out 100s of spam comments a day from your home computer”

Oh, good! It’s raining again. I was afraid we weren’t going to have enough mosquitoes this year

Tweetdeck is working. Alas, I have nothing to say…

All aboard the lazy train! Heaven forbid anyone have to walk from the movie theater to the food court.

@br8kthru True. Half glass full… (in reply to br8kthru RT @katdish: Old Navy Zombies at least they’re cheerful while they eat your brains.)

These look good on. (On fire.)

Old Navy Zombies

Monkey butt!


Okay people. Logging off Twitter. Got lives to change, laundry to sort, etc…

Just saw that TNT is showing “Titanic” this week. Am I the only person who saw that movie and said, “Meh…”

Milk and peanut butter sammich: It’s what’s for breakfast.

@CandySteele TWSS (in reply to CandySteele @weightwhat I’ll bet she *really* loves soaking wet ones.)

A fountain pen, of course. Ball point pens are only good for filling out forms on a plane. ~ Graham Green

My 2 fingers on a typewriter have never connected w/my brain. My hand on a pen does. ~ Graham Green

Horse placenta is trending? Um….okay.

@lainiegallagher EXACTLY like now. (in reply to lainiegallagher @katdish It remains to be seen whether you’re right. And even if you were, I’d never admit it. Sort of like now.)

@lainiegallagher Yes. But I’d always be right. Sort of like now. (in reply to lainiegallagher @katdish Hmm. An omnipresent katdish? I’m pretty sure we’d be bickering constantly. I’d NEVER get anything done!)

@lainiegallagher Well thanks. I’m not omnipresent, but you really should listen to me. (in reply to lainiegallagher Just so you know, @katdish is a know-it-all. (But I love her anyway.))

@weightwhat I think all major life decisions should be based on episodes of Man vs Food, personally.

Glad he’s got his priorities straight.

Me: Where are you going to live after college? Son: North Carolina Me: Why? Son: They have really good chicken biscuits.

Daughter & I have moved into the closet. Scary. Found a Teddy bear scotch taped to a hanger.

@SMBlooding Welcome to my nightmare.

@SMBlooding Right now I’m decrapifying my daughters room, so i’m quite horrified at the moment.

@rntammyp Yes. And ewh (in reply to rntammyp @ksluiter @katdish You obviously missed the tweet where I griped about DD going through the trash & retrieving things I threw out. : /)

@SandraHeskaKing I’ll be happy to mail it back to you. (in reply to SandraHeskaKing @katdish That’s mine! Fell out of the back of my head.)

@miller_schloss Counting my blessings, now! (in reply to miller_schloss @katdish I decrapified my kids’ room too. Including sweeping up a mountain of cat litter the baby scooped outta the cat box.)

@makeadiff21 Well, not under the bed next to a bowl w/dried up chocolate ice cream. That’s for sure. (in reply to makeadiff21@katdish Um.. ew! That is funny, though. What exactly did this eye belong to?)

Where did all this crap come from? Gaaaa!

“Oh, mom! I’ve been looking EVERYWHERE for this!” “This” being a lint covered rubber eyeball.

Okay, people. Off to the non-virtual world! See ya!

Must begin the decrapification process of the children’s rooms.

And now…I’m going to sleep. Hopefully a frog/lizard/toad nightmare free sleep.

@gyoung9751 Cyber fist bump! (in reply to gyoung9751 @duane_scott I don’t know, Duane, eating a writer is pretty dramatic.)

@duane_scott You ate a writer? What kind after party did you go to tonite? (in reply to duane_scott Dear writer inside me, I know you have things to say, but I’m too tired and too busy. I’m sorry. Love, Mr. Negligent)

@SBeeCreations As opposed to Wendy, the strange internet stalker chick… (in reply to SBeeCreations @weightwhat Last I checked, you were Wendy, but I suppose you could be Jenny, the strange Internet stalker chick)

Tis true>>RT @weightwhat: @duane_scott Nobody wants to hear about your poop. Well, except maybe @redclaydiaries. She’s weird that way.

@sarahmsalter If by “kiss” you mean smack with a baseball bat…Ewh. I can’t do that either. (Shiver) (in reply to sarahmsalter @katdish Awww! He’s a cutie! Kiss him and if he turns into a handsome prince, send him to me… :))

@SBeeCreations SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP! GAAA! (in reply to SBeeCreations @katdish kiss it! Quick!)

Did I mention I have a mild phobia of frogs?


@CandySteele DO NOT ANGER THE BEAN BOT! (in reply to CandySteele @katdish You’re supposed to apologize for that? Dang, I’ll bet that baked beans bot is REALLY mad.)

RT @mrsflinger: Costco is making me stabby. #holidayshoppingwiththemob

My apologies for not acknowledging being retweeted by the @NonGrumpyCowboy bot. Thanks!

@SBeeCreations I can imagine it does! (in reply to SBeeCreations @katdish Idea of having my very own katdish is rather thrilling :))

@SBeeCreations katdish it up? Ooo! I like that! (in reply to SBeeCreations @sarahmsalter She would build my brand. Get it in local shops, blog, ship, /- basically @katdish it up :))

BREAKING NEWS: It’s still raining.

@lainiegallagher LAWSOME! (in reply to lainiegallagher 80s-themed 30th birthday party. Lame or awesome?)

@WriteOnRideOn I am having a productive weekend so far. I’m showing the laundry room who’s boss. Now if only my children would follow suit.

@redclaydiaries Oh, come on! Dream crusher… (in reply to redclaydiaries @WinLiannefield @katdish I dunno… He’s not verified & no link to a website. I’m a skeptic like that.)

RT @WinLiannefield: @katdish @rayadverb is the REAL Dave Barry. His tweets are few but funny.

@RobinMArnold It must be going around. I wrote an entire grumpy twitter ho post. (in reply to RobinMArnold Husband: Are you grumpy today? Me: Yes. That is all.)

@redclaydiaries Don’t you have local charities that will pick it up? If not, do they allow burning in your neighborhood? (in reply to redclaydiaries @katdish Okay, is there a lazy way to get rid of crap?)

@HisFireFly Wait…@davebarry is on twitter? I may have to break my “don’t follow celebrities who don’t follow you back” rule.

@redclaydiaries Now see…therein lies your problem. Forget making $ from junk, just get rid of that crap! Tough love, Steph. Tough love. in reply to redclaydiaries @katdish But then EVERYONE would know where I live. Plus it’s a lot of work. Isn’t there a lazy way to make $ off ur junk?)

@redclaydiaries You need to have a big, redneck yard sale (in reply to redclaydiaries Needing to craigslist my entire basement. Any ideas on how to overcome craigslist phobia? #theyllknowwhereIlive)

@HisFireFly Nope. Not anywhere close to Manitoba. Did you know that according to Dave Barry, Manitoba literally means “many tubas”

@amysorrells Just think how you would feel if you were a dirty sock! (in reply to amysorrells @katdish I’m shaking, and I’m 1/2 a country away!)

Laundry Room: I will dominate you today! Oh yes–fear me!

Beware the grumpy twitter ho!

image courtesy of

What do you get when you combine rain every single day, grocery shopping, sporatic technical problems with your website, Gmail problems and massive twitter problems? A very cranky katdish. Actually, I didn’t realize I was all that cranky this week. Until I read my tweets.

I think I reached my boiling point yesterday when twitter kept crashing. So, being the mature adult that I am, I tried to find someone to blame. If you are someone who schedules your tweets, please don’t be offended–it’s not you, it’s me…

And now the best of me (or not) on the twitter this week:

SNORT!>>>RT @BigBags: That’s what she said!

I’m leaving my house. And hey, the back door is unlocked! #4square.

One and only #FF: @billycoffey because he’s all pouty & sad I have more followers than him. Also? He’s the best writer on the internets.

@Sernyl_Dymensha Thanks for the follow. That is the freakiest twitter background I’ve ever seen

I’ve probably offended a few people on Twitter today. Fortunately, they have scheduled all their tweets so they’re not here to read mine.

@MichaelDPerkins I like the ones who say, “Please excuse the auto DM” Why do something you knowingly have to excuse (in reply to MichaelDPerkins @katdish I noticed a few schedule the same verses everyday @ the same time. Really bothers me. Also loathe auto dm’s)

@br8kthru You know me. I’m shy. (in reply to br8kthru @katdish Could you tell us how you really feel? I’m having trouble understanding what you really mean to say :))

@arestlessheart yes please and thank you (in reply to arestlessheart @katdish lol – oh dear. what do you want? I’ve been off corn for months. want some substitutions?)

@duane_scott Thank you for being strong enough to agree with me. Snort! (in reply to duane_scott @katdish Thank you for being strong enough to voice your opinion… I AGREE!)

@MarketerMikeE I’ll take that as a compliment Mike. (in reply to MarketerMikeE @katdish you’re a mean low carb Christian)

I guess I picked the wrong week to give up high-fructose corn syrup.

It’s called “social media” not “Look-how-clever-I-am-talk-amongst-yourselves-media”

This may be the low carb monster talking, but all you people scheduling clever remarks and banter on twitter? UR part of the problem.

And not necessarily in a good way >>RT @SBeeCreations: #FF @katdish but beware, she may change your life

Feeling a bit guilty. Went to Facebook b/c twitter was down. Like hanging out w/your kid brother cuz all your friends are out of town.

RT @Ade1965: Brazil has broken twitter #failwhale

Okay Twitter. Whateva…

@prodigaljohn Twitter, for example (in reply to prodigaljohn Of all human activities, writing is the one for which it is easiest to find excuses not to begin. R. Harris)

@SandraHeskaKing Oh, that’s taken care of. I’m having a Brecktastic day (in reply to SandraHeskaKing @katdish Thanks! Hope you have a less than skunkalicous day!)

@VariantVal Well, I was planning on watching some redneck fireworks in the neighborhood, but if the rain doesn’t stop… …we may have to settle for firearms. (in reply to VariantVal @katdish Thanks for the RT, Kathy .. how are you today? Big plans for the weekend?)

(Breathe) Okay. I did NOT lose my long-winded email, which, come to think of it, maybe isn’t such a good thing

STUPID, STUPID G-MAIL! Just ate a rather long-winded email

RT @marni71: Just found some air freshner. Now it smells like death and lavender.

RT @shrinkingcamel: Whistling at work may be a quaint idea, but in reality it is extremely annoying to everyone else within earshot.

Dear rain: okay. We’re good for now. Thanks.

@joannamuses or for white people (in reply to joannamuses @katdish They sure do. Rather odd moves for that song though)

And in other news…Apparently, it’s monsoon season here in Houston.

@curtharding Oooo! I’m telling! (in reply to curtharding Sometimes when I think no one’s watching, I close one eye while using two fingers to smash people’s heads in meetings.)

RT @RobinMArnold: Advice-painters, please use your best painting manners, don’t slop & glop paint. Can’t do that, find something else to do

@gabbysherri SNORT!

(Note: Insert incredibly inappropriate DM here)

@gabbysherri Perhaps I should write a PTA post. (in reply to gabbysherri

@weightwhat -thanks for the RT- I feel a Pit Post coming on!)

@weightwhat I could make some calls. Maybe @gabbysherri could get you a guest spot. (in reply to weightwhat @katdish Yes. Yes it was. And I’m hoping to get booked on Oprah because of it.)

@weightwhat Thanks. And thanks for writing a post. It was very brave of you to share your q-tip addiction.

@redclaydiaries Awesome! Did you hear? @billycoffey got a tatt. Sadly no SEALS or snowballs: (in reply to redclaydiaries @katdish Oh trust me. U were on my mind as I shopped. #cheesebuttlerhasfriends)

@redclaydiaries Hey! Pick me up some deer urine, would ya? (in reply to redclaydiaries Heard of Reefer Madness? This is the redneck version: #bassproshops)

@Becks_Beer Oh, you silly foreigners! Don’t you know football is played with a brown leather ball? (in reply to Becks_Beer @katdish hahah no we mean football : ))

@Becks_Beer You mean soccer? (in reply to Becks_Beer is anyone else suffering from football withdrawel ???)

@duane_scott Being ill prepared for zombie attack. (in reply to duane_scott I’ve got a question. (May be used In blog) what is one thing that makes you worry?)

Time for my favorite dinner: the one I didn’t cook.

@br8kthru Of course not. But I am freakishly strong for a girl. (in reply to br8kthru @katdish what- are you made of stone, woman!? :))

@br8kthru Nah. But I thought it was touching. (in reply to br8kthru @katdish did you get choked up?)

Went to see Toy Story 3 today. Very well done.

@jiagirl That’s right. Dream big or go home I always say. Or something like that… (in reply to jiagirl @katdish Oh & that person has to steer the wayward cart & then follow you home & unpack. A girl can dream right?)

@jiagirl To make it a pleasant experience for me, folks would interview me & ask what meals I liked., then they would pick out ingredients… And then they would follow me home and prepare the meals for the week, then label & freeze them… I don’t think I’m asking too much. (in reply to jiagirl @katdish Who knows? If they gave you a donut when you walked in & had someone follow you to pack & unpack-then maybe I’d be ok w it.)

I hate grocery shopping…I feel an incessant rant coming on.

Look how this Lexus is parked. Is it any wonder why some animals eat their young?

And now I must face my arch nemesis: The grocery store.

“A very important blogger? Talk about your oxymorons!” – Sealy Booth, #bones

So many things I want to write about. Need to put pen to paper before they’re lost forever in the whirling mess that is my brain.

RT @tremendousnews: Canadians gave the world Justin Bieber. The world destroyed our city at G20. Touché, world. Touché.

@marni71 You’re so ghetto. (in reply to marni71 @sarahmsalter @katdish Sup yo?)

Well ladies and gentlemen, the wait is over! Here ya go:

Let me ask you a question: How many nights have you lay awake hoping & praying there was a single resource for all katdishionary terms?

@billycoffey You’re one classy redneck! (in reply to billycoffey How I spent my Saturday evening:

RT @tremendousnews: The G20 is just like the ’70s! Minus the music, love and not-throwing-poo-at-people.

@sarahmsalter Um…yeah. Because you’re really not refined if you don’t know what “fatassistosis” means (in reply to sarahmsalter @katdish You are SO awesome! You just instinctively know what your public wants/needs. :))

Coming soon to A new tab which will contain all katdishionary terms alphabetically & in one place. I know…you’re welcome.

Gotta go get some hair color. I’m looking very skunkalicious at the moment.

@Helenatrandom Its okay Helen. Go to your happy place. Where you never have to dust. (in reply to Helenatrandom @katdish @sarahmsalter Shame on you people reminding me of places I don’t remember dusting. Ever…)

@SandraHeskaKing oh, I’m not dusting. Sarah is. I’m just giving unsolicited advice. (in reply to SandraHeskaKing @saramsalter @katdish Why are you dusting?)

@unmarketing Congrats. I hear that a fairly competitive softball division. (in reply to unmarketing Hit two triples in fat guy over-30 softball last night. I may need a double leg transplant. Can’t move)

Chatty katdish

Hey! Remember a few weeks ago when I promised these updates would be much shorter? Well, I lied. But not on purpose. Seems I was extra chatty this week for some reason. Sorry/you’re welcome.

The best of me (or not) on the twitter this week:

RT @noveldoctor: Before reading a revision note from your editor, check the medicine cabinet for Xanax. If empty, drink heavily

@lainiegallagher You know me so well… (in reply to lainiegallagher Sounds about right.)

@lainiegallagher I do what I can. Or what I feel like doing. One of those… (in reply to lainiegallagher Yes! Good one. You’re such a great writer and cheerleader of writers.)

@arlenesg Thanks Arlene. Nice to have you in my stream as well. Even tho typing that makes me giggle.

@SassafrasHill They are sparkly, but also shiny. Because sparkles shine, right? Also? Me too. Book 4 is on my nightstand. (in reply to SassafrasHill @katdish – Sparkly, Kathy. Get it right. Hehehe 🙂 Sparkly & beeyootiful.The books were actually pretty good.Haven’t read the last one tho.)

Is the new Twilight movie coming out today? I am so out of the shiny vampire loop.

@melissa_rae We had pizza tonite too. But in interest of stimulating the local economy, we had it delivered (in reply to melissa_rae We’re making homemade pizza, with from scratch dough, for dinner tonight. Then rootbeer floats for dessert! Mmm!)

As to my earlier tweet about watching The Karate Kid (original) today–I have forgotten how much truly horrible music there was in the 80s

I have no idea where/how/why followers find me, but dang – there are some funny people out there. @plfrederick for example.

@HeatherSunseri Me too. I hate socks.(in reply to HeatherSunseri @katdish Hehehe You have the same suntan I have. Love flip flops!)


@SandraHeskaKing Oh, it’s okay. You have a great personality. Snort! (in reply to SandraHeskaKing @katdish Double waahhh! I have no tan. Bunions and no tan.)

@SandraHeskaKing Sorry. Didn’t mean to bring you pain. If it’s any consolation, I have an unsightly flip flop tan (in reply to SandraHeskaKing @katdish Waahhh! Sniff.)

@SandraHeskaKing What? I don’t have bunions. What’s a bunion? (in reply to SandraHeskaKing @katdish Scraped and painted sounds lovely! But flip flops show off bunions)

@gyoung9751 Okay. But I’m keeping it handy just in case. I would never lay down the hammer on you, btw. (in reply to gyoung9751 @katdish No! Not the unfollow hammer!)

@MichaelDPerkins Sandwiches and gratuitous violence? 2 of my favorite things!(in reply to MichaelDPerkins RT @katdish: @gyoung9751 Control of what? Do I need go samurai on some people? //I specialize in karate chop sandwiches)

@gyoung9751 Uh oh. Should I lay down the unfollow hammer (in reply to gyoung9751 @katdish Sarah and Duane have been getting out of hand.)

Going to get my feet scraped and painted. It’s flip flop season

@gyoung9751 Control of what? Do I need go samurai on some people? (in reply to gyoung9751 @sarahmsalter You’re right, Sarah. I’d vote to get @katdish to keep things under control.)

Favorite deleted spam comment of the day: Prozac for Cats

@mamastephf Either that or beats the crap out of them when mom’s not looking. (in reply to mamastephf @katdish Ahhh, no wonder you blog so well. The babies are fun & creative, right, in larger families? Everyone applauds them from birth? :))

@adeason123 Well, there are plenty of those folks to go around. (in reply to adeason123 @katdish I personally prefer fake cardboard people… That way I know to NOT expect much from them!!!)

@jamieworley That’s always a bonus.(in reply to jamieworley @katdish It’s nice to have real people. I like when they are fully clothed, too.)

I love checking my new followers to find most of them are real people! Thank you, real people!

@buzzbyannies Or some dynamite. (in reply to buzzbyannies @Katdish Only thing better is fishing with a shotgun.)

@buzzbyannies Rednecks + venomous snakes = quality television! (in reply to buzzbyannies Billy the Exterminator. #digthatshow)

@tracyfarr I meant it as a compliment. (in reply to tracyfarr Oh, no. I’ve turned into a “cranky ho” (as one nice lady recently called me). For shame, for shame, for shame!)

@TheBlueMacaw It better be, or heads are gonna roll! (Okay, really nothing I can do about it. But I feel empowered now.)

@TheBlueMacaw But I’ve got bloggy business I conduct over gmail. They better get it fixed or I’m burning Scranton to the ground! #theoffice

@sarahmsalter @marni71 I’m 5′ 6″ tall. But I towered over @redclaydiaries last year b/c of strategic footwear

@marni71 @sarahmsalter Wait…Sarah, how tall are you? Am I going to look really tall standing next to y’all? Because that would be awesome

@billycoffey Prepare yourself for an expletive-laced DM mister! (in reply to billycoffey @katdish What was that, city slicker?)

@NEgraceful Well, I personally would never say that. I say toe-ma-tas. (in reply to NEgraceful @sarahmsalter @katdish So you would say, “Go pick some may-tuhs for dinner?”)

@marni71 It’s hard to tell. She talks so fast I usually only get about every 3rd word or so. @gabbysherri (in reply to marni71 @katdish Does @gabbysherri mispronouce words or does she only jack them up when she types them?)

@gabbysherri NORTHERN! Bite your tongue! Houston is such a melting pot, everyone is from somewhere else. (in reply to gabbysherri @katdish -not really. Not a Texan accent, anyway. In fact, more Northern than Southern. What’s up with that?)

@sarahmsalter mater plants? Seriously? I can go along with ta-mater plants, but mater plants? Use your words, Sarah. (in reply to sarahmsalter @billycoffey I got a mater plant taller than me now & it’s about to fall over. I got out there w/ baccer sticks & string last night. #nohelp)

@billycoffey Hmph! (in reply to billycoffey @katdish What’d you say, city slicker?)

@gabbysherri Okay, we’ve talked on the phone. Do you think I have an accent?

@marni71 She’s a fast talker…. (in reply to marni71 @katdish Oh,and that time I was hopped up on Nyquil and accidentally drunk dialed @gabbysherri. She didn’t sound at all like a smurf.)

@billycoffey Oh, shut up. (in reply to billycoffey @katdish No. You’re citified all the way. Urban living has destroyed your country roots.)

@marni71 I actually don’t think I have much of an accent. What do you think @billycoffey?

@billycoffey More Frasier than Gomer for sure, but that’s a pretty accurate statement. (in reply to billycoffey @katdish @marni71 @sarahmsalter I have the sort of voice that’s a cross between Gomer Pyle and Frasier Crane.)

@marni71 We’ve never talked on the phone. Doesn’t @helenatrandom sound exactly like you thought she would?

@marni71 Just go to my blog and rant incessantly. I’m there for you, Marns. (in reply to marni71 And now Youversion hates me too. I’m taking my ball and going home…)

HMPH! I just got a DM saying I was high maintenance. I’m not high maintenance, I’m just lazy.

I love @amysorrells , even if her blog posts are always too long to RT.

I had 2 folks follow/unfollow/follow/unfollow me yesterday. If you use an auto-follow service, please note that this is highly annoying.

Garlic butter? RT @HeatherSunseri: Came home from vacation to 100s of snails in fishtank. My DD’s snails mated. Oops. Open to suggestions.

So proud of my kids! Not one argument today! Oh, wait…my son’s away at camp. Nevermind

I just submitted a guest post to a blog geared to writers. I’m giving advice. Brace yourselves.

@KathleenOverby Good morning. We’ve got plenty here. Would you like some suffocating humidity, too? (in reply to KathleenOverby Good morning @katdish. RT Thx 🙂 It is STILL raining. I’m done. Tapping out. Send sun.)

@JeanneDamoff The writing is stellar, but the cowboy hat puts him over the top I think. in reply to JeanneDamoff @katdish Seriously. What is it about some dude in a cowboy hat? (Who just happens to write stories that wring your heart out. But still.)

@JeanneDamoff “Mowing the grass crack”. Snort! (in reply to JeanneDamoff @katdish Hey, congrats on surpassing @billycoffey in followers. And 50 points for the “mowing the grass” crack.)

@JeanneDamoff Exactly (in reply to JeanneDamoff @katdish Wait . . . you’re putting off procrastinating? So, you’ll procrastinate tomorrow then?)

@JeanneDamoff I’m good. I’m putting off procrastinating going to the store.

@SBeeCreations Really? So if I tweeted say, Baby Daddy is a DJ I met at a wedding, I’d be golden? (in reply to SBeeCreations @katdish you need to tweet about weddings, babies, and DJs if you are looking for the quick follow)

You too, @RobinMArnold! Snort!

You rock, @boomerarnold! Thank you!

But I’m going to enjoy my 15 minutes of fame.

YESH! I have surpassed @billycoffey in followers! Of course, he’ll tweet something about mowing the grass & get 100 more followers.

@salamicat My first name is Kathy, my maiden name is Dishman. Hence, katdish

@MarketerMikeE Wait…you scrapbooked? Not sure seeing the A-Team redeems your man card. You should probably cut the head off a snake. (in reply to MarketerMikeE @SeeJaneSell yes lost man card after scrapbooking. Then got it back after watching A-Team.)

@salamicat My twitter name? You mean katdish? That’s not just my twitter name. It’s been my nickname forever (in reply to salamicat @katdish Did you know that the entire reason I followed you originally is because of your twitter name? I love it)

Oooo! We’re tied!

@shrinkingcamel Why thank you, Brad. I would follow myself, but tweetdeck won’t let me. (in reply to shrinkingcamel @katdish I would follow you twice, if that were allowed…)

Tuna casserole…

@RobinMArnold I need 2 more followers to pass @billycoffey. Maybe I should tweet tuna casserole (in reply to RobinMArnold @katdish I imagine we’ll both get them. Last night I tweeted my tuna casserole, now I have folks who know to cook better following.)

@KathleenOverby Sorry/you’re welcome. (in reply to KathleenOverby @katdish love the way your last two posts indulge my bi-polar inclinations. Angels had me tearing up, recap had me laughing. iScared)

And I just had a nekkid person send me a friendship request on facebook. That’s never happened before.

Gotta love the clever spam commenters: Love your writing. Keep up the good work. – Mr. Viagra

Twitter: What’s the point?

A few weeks ago, I attended a dinner party at the home of my husband’s boss and his wife. It was an intimate gathering—four couples. It’s a relatively new company, and the hosts thought it would be a good way for everyone (the wives especially) to put faces to names.

As often is the case in such gatherings, there was much small talk. A conversation which began as the merits of Mac versus PC (or vice versa depending on whether you’ve partaken in the Apple Kool-aid) soon turned to Facebook. Our host asked everyone at the table, “Who of you here has a Facebook account?” My husband was the only one who did not answer in the affirmative. Everyone had an opinion:

“There are people I don’t want to find me”

“I found my best friend from elementary school.”

It’s a great way to keep up with family and friends and see the latest pictures of the grand kids.”

“Facebook is your life, only edited.”

To the last comment I responded, “Facebook status updates are like a never-ending Christmas letter. I have a Facebook account (two actually), but I prefer Twitter.”

Guess who was the only person at the table with a twitter account.

“I tried twitter…I don’t get it.”

“What’s the point of Twitter anyway?”

This left me momentarily speechless—a fairly rare occurrence. Because how does one answer that question?
What is the point of Twitter?

My response was, “What do you want the point of Twitter to be? It can be different things to different people.”

So I posed this question on Twitter and got some interesting responses:

@CandySteele said: I love being able to connect with people and not worry about the spinach in my teeth.

@sarahmsalter said: For the first couple of months I was on Twitter I felt the same way. Then, I “met” you. And @weightwhat. And @Helenatrandom. Et al.

@Helenatrandom said: Socializing. Here is where I group together with my cyber friends, much the same way I used to gather on the great big cubes in Alumni Hall with my friends in college. It is a cyber gathering space. Why not use a chat room? Because that isn’t where my friends are gathering. Does that make me a “follower”. Perhaps. So what?

@marni71 said: Interaction with other snarks. I’m not being snarky in saying that though. And I find I’m challenged (in a good way) by differing opinions and beliefs of others I meet on here. But mostly…snark.

@kellyatlovewell said: I tell people Twitter (for me) is like a huge chat room with some of my favorite online people in it. It’s a lifeline for SAHMs.

@IanAClifford said: Twitter has put me in touch with people I wouldn’t normally be in touch with and sending short messages is normally all I have time for.

@duane_scott said: The point of twitter is connecting with readers and interesting people. A major time killer.

@Davidmota said: Twitter is the place where I get encouraged by other Believers across the world.

@Pauharri said: I feel twitter is so honest and open to anyone I mean you can twitter someone famous,or twitter your neighbour anyone.

@forthegirls said:To expand beyond school, community and family (bc that’s what FB has for me) twitter offers new perspectives!

@NEgraceful said: It’s an easy way to click over to posts quickly. Also, gives me a high ’cause I get followers faster than on blog!

@ Brian_Russell said: Twitter is my place for the comments my mom always told me to keep to myself.

@MarilynYocum said: Twitter: Having a sense of what others are doing/thinking/reading. Trusting them to point out good things, but not overwhelm me.

@BretMcCormick said: Great question….blogging 140 characters at a time is all my ADHD can withstand.

@KathleenOverby said:Twitter is fine tuned. Succinct. Instant conversation. 🙂 Facebook makes me feel sooooooo lonely. A facade somehow? 1000 Friends.??

@mxings said: (in response to Kathleen) FB does not make me feel lonely, but it makes me feel like I am neglecting people, a status does not seem 2B enough.

@jeremypeterson said:Quick thoughts and replies w/o having to deal with dumb things like farmville or mafia 🙂

@togetherforgood said: I’m a fan of facebook. Because none of my “real life” friends are on twitter. I don’t really “get” social media, I think.

@mxings said: I would agree. Twitter can be whatever you want it to be — I prefer it because I feel I have more choice in following/friending There are 2 at work who always say, “Why would I want to tell everyone every time I take a piss?” & the look ‘end of discussion’.

@NovelHelp said: Connecting with people who have similar interests and to learn from their experience and/or help with mine.

@mmerubies said: Twitter is for conversation that completely broadens my horizons.

@jpwire said: Twitter makes me less lonely. other really whacked out people to connect with. LOL.

@SBeeCreations said: Started as a marketing tool &is now an extended network of caring, compassionate, funny friends I don’t know how I survived without.

@UntanglingTales said: I twitter b/c it’s idea-connect w/ greater efficiency than blogging– w/ (frequently) the convenient connection to the actual blog.

@okiewife said: I love twitter for the connections with ordinary but witty folks, uplifting blogs, and all the patriotic love of America comments.

@WriteOnRideOn said: Global communication. Worldwide interaction with people I may never have met otherwise. Mutual support+encouragement. Fun. Writing. Plus, I’m with ya on the FB deal. I don’t do FB. I don’t want to dredge up the past or interact only w/people I already know. Plus, I love the potential and unexpected surprises on Twitter. Love sending out a tweet and meeting new people out of the blue.:) ..without FB “will you be my friend” stuff. I’d rather have public Twitter timeline w/news, friends, writing, shared interests.AND sometimes I actually manage to say what I need to say in 140char or less. I know. Hard to believe right now. LOL :o)

I also received a couple of heartfelt direct messages:

Re: Twitter. Sometimes, I just don’t know. Sometimes I feel it’s just another way to feel lonely as I probably don’t have the outgoing personality to make friends as I see others do. I find it disheartening at times. But when I’m away, I miss it. Go figure.

(a mutual friend) said that I add sunshine to everyone’s day on Twitter. And that surprised me, because in real life, people are always telling me that I’m too much. Too loud. Too fast. Too much. I’m rarely myself because being myself is too much. Too annoying. And I often fear that I’m too much on Twitter, too. Too talkative. Too chatty. Too open. Too “myself.” But she said that the miracle of the Internet is that it allows weirdos like us to discover that we’re not alone. And that’s what it’s done for me. I’ve found a group of people that don’t just TOLERATE me. They CELEBRATE me. (Does it make me pathetic that I’m actually crying while I type this?) I feel like I found a treasure when I found you guys. (Or did you find me?) I don’t care. I just thank God we found each other. I was afraid to laugh or to be silly. I had been led to believe that grown-ups don’t do that. Y’all taught me different.

So there you go. For those of you who are not on the twitter, those are several reasons people choose to connect there. And if you are on twitter, and missed sharing your thoughts on twitter, what’s the point for you?

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