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Sweet dreams are made of this (or not)

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Who among you is old enough to remember the Euryththmics? I sure do. Back in the day when they actually played music videos on MTV and VH1. Ah, good times. I loved that band immediately. Not so much because of Annie Lennox’s voice–which I think is great–but because they were freaks. Unapologetic freaks at that. Finally, some role models!

I’ve always been told I have a vivid imagination. Okay, not really. When I was a kid, the most common descriptive of me was “That girl is weird”. And perhaps to give strength to that assessment, when people told me I was weird, I always took it as a compliment. Now I’m all grown up, married to a man who is decidedly not weird, and have two children of my own.

Since my creativity wasn’t really nurtured or encouraged as a child (I’m not bitter about this, my family just didn’t know what to make of me), it gives me a huge sense of pride when I see creativity in my own kids. My son is an avid reader, and while he doesn’t write often, when he does it’s usually well written. He’s also a great golfer and a pretty decent French horn player. (In my unbiased, motherly opinion, of course.)

My daughter, while she definitely has her own distinct personality, has a tendency to think like me; to take seemingly unrelated objects and put them together to form something completely new. Sometimes the results are whimsical or even incredible functional. Other times…

Well, other times they’re just downright scary. To me, anyway. Take her latest creation:

This is a decorative dressmaker's stand. I bought it for her thinking it would be a good place hang purses, scarves or even play dress up with.

And she did use it for dress-up. This is a little ballet dress from a performance a few years ago. So far, so good.

Okay, this is where we take a little leap outside the box:

Stick horse inserted through the neck of the dressmaker's stand. Things are getting a little creepy.

Not creepy? Okay, maybe it’s just me:

How about now?

Perhaps I’ve seen The Godfather too many times. Or perhaps I’ve read too many Stephen King novels. Specifically, The Dark Tower series. Here’s an illustration from The Dark Tower:

I don’t worry about my daughter having nightmares. I don’t think she thinks there’s anything at all scary or creepy about her…whatever that thing is.

It’s MY nightmares I’m concerned about:

Sweet dreams, people! Mwha ha ha!

The Katdish Dictionary – Part One

Two things precipitated the writing of this post (or rather, series of posts). The first was a text message from a friend of mine. She had sent me a message, to which my response to her was, “Gaaa!” Which I thought clearly communicated my reaction to her previous text. Knock me over with a feather when she texted me back, “Gaaa?” To my thinking, “Gaaa!” is rather self-explanatory. But perhaps not…

Next, I received an email from an author asking if I would read and review his upcoming book. (No, not that author – I’ve already read that one and it’s frigintastic.) Here’s a brief excerpt from the correspondence:

“And you’re clearly the first person I’ve come across who has a “I big red monkey butt heart twitter” tag. So you win—not sure what, but you win nonetheless!”

So that got me to thinking (always dangerous territory) about how often I use phrases and acronyms here and on twitter under the assumption that everyone knows what I’m talking about. But clearly, that is not always the case. Seriously, unless you’ve been reading my blog for the past 8 months or so, how could you possibly know what PCB stood for? Or know that “I big red monkey butt heart you” is a sign of endearment?

See there? Two hundred words into this post and I’ve already used four phrases and/or words that yet to make it into Webster’s. Which is why I feel a certain duty (ha! she said duty) to give definitions, and where applicable (read: if I can remember), the origins of said phrases, acronyms and words.

Ahem! And now Part One of an endless and ever growing series:

The Katdish Dictionary

Gaaa! – (pronounced gaaa!)

Definition – An expression of shock, disgust or horror.

Origin: unknown.

Example: Hey look! Meat Puppets!

Response: Gaaa!
(Seriously – is that not self-evident?)

Frigintastic – (pronounced fri-gin-ta-stic)

Definition: Really, very super fantastic and/or awesome.

Origin: Nick the Geek, in his post Too Much to Talk about.

Example: “MY wife says I say awesome too much and started taking points away for saying it. She is right but I still like the word. I’m gonna start saying “frigintastic” instead. She will long for the days when everything was awesome.”

“I big red monkey butt heart…”

Definition – a term of endearment or strong affection for someone or something.

Origin: This explanation is a bit more complex.

The story begins to unfold with a post on The Fellowship of the Traveling Smartypants post, Cremation, anyone? This was a post noted not so much for its content, but for the epic comments that ensued – a grand total of 107. A fairly impressive number by most standards, until you realize that the comments were made by a handful of people leaving multiple comments back and forth.

Read it.

It’s life changing.

Anyhoo, Nick started out the post apologizing for the post being in bad taste (which is ironic, because that blog is all about bad taste), and quickly spiraled down from there.

At some point, I happened to mention I was going to the Houston Zoo the next day and did anyone have any practical jokes to play on zoo animals? A conversation about flinging monkey poo ensued. Alas, the following day I posted It’s on like Donkey Kong with the following picture:

Shortly thereafter, Sherri complained, “Speaking of images….katdish, this particular monkey image is freaking me out when I come here. DO you have a different one you can replace it with?”

So I changed the picture to this:

To which my friend Shark Bait commented, “I think I want the scary monkey back now.”
Around this same time, the phrase “I pink fuzzy heart you” was making its way around our blogging community. But I felt we at the FOTTSP needed our own spin on this phrase. That’s where “I big red monkey butt heart you” came from. Sorry/you’re welcome.

PCB – acronym for Pornographic Cheese Butler

Seemingly gracious wine and cheese steward from this angle, right? Not so fast!

Definition – A life sized statue of a butler once used in wine and cheese displays at the local Kroger grocery store. Unfortunately, the artist responsible for creating the PCB neglected to give him any pants. Hence the “pornographic” part. Thankfully, he was wearing a long apron covering his frontsettes. (We will cover frontsettes in a later edition.)

This concludes this edition of the Katdish dictionary. You have no idea how many of these things I can churn out. So in advance I just want to say again, sorry/you’re welcome.