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Wuddup with the sideways smiley faces?

March 26, 2009 in but I digress,emoticons,giveaway,I crack myself up,me being silly,skanktacular with 33 Comments

So, apparently I’m in a bit of a non-conformity/skanktinicity groove lately. I’ll shake the skanky thing as soon as I get the rest of those Bratz dolls out of my house. BTW – If you don’t want me to send the leftover dolls and feet to our good friend Beth, you should probably take a bullet for her and enter the contest. I think I’ve gotten her pretty worked up about that — mostly because she knows I’ll do it without blinking an eye.
Let’s briefly review shall we?
Erin was our first winner. The lovely and talented Kardashian sisters are en route to her as I type this post. Still in the running are: Jake, Tony C., Rrramone, Nick the Geek, Helen, and of course, the odds on favorite: Beth!
Stacy from Louisville is still disqualified, but may claim her giant ball of dryer lint at any time. You many enter as often as you want. These make lovely gifts for friends and loved ones and will be beautifully gift wrapped in an empty Fancy Feast cat food box and shipped directly at no extra charge. Deadline for Slutty Girlz Rock Band featuring Miss Amy Winehouse is this Saturday at 9:00 AM Central time. Here’s a sneak peek at this week’s group and the next two prize extravaganzas to follow:
This week:

Next week:

And the grand finale:
As with last week’s contest, I will not be judging. I really don’t want to have to make such an important, potentially life altering decision for one of you lucky contestants. Ron, Tamara and Jeff will continue to judge the contest. Good luck to you all. Especially you, Beth! AHEM!

Now, back to my groove thing:

What I will never (hopefully) shake is the non-conformity groove. I’m a half-breed freak. As a kid, I thought that if only I had blond hair and blue eyes happiness would be mine. I used to put tape on my eyelids and look in the mirror to see how I would look if I was “normal”. I’m way past that now (mostly). Normal is boring. Normal doesn’t build character. Normal isn’t funny. And seriously…these days, what is considered normal anyway? (Sorry — little tangent there.)

As I may have mentioned before, I am not very techno-savvy. Fortunately, freaks tend to befriend geeks, so if I can’t figure something out, there is always someone who can save me from my ignorance. I don’t have texting on my phone. When I first saw “LOL” on a website comment, I thought it meant “lots of love”. I was thinking, “Wow, that person REALLY liked that article!” I am also a dork.

And, of course, since everyone else uses this term, that automatically negates my use of it and any other text abbreviation. I just can’t go there — Talk to the hand! (again – dork)

Lately, it seems everyone’s been using the sideways happy face or some version of it in their comments. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not hating on the smiley face, I’m just not going to use any emoticons in my comments…Oh, well — except maybe this one:

 

( I ) – yes sherri. that is a butt.

 

Editor’s Note: I just proofread this post and laughed out loud when I re-read “I’ll shake the skanky thing”. I crack myself up. Sometimes not even on purpose. Whoa…this post was like blowing up a balloon really full and then letting go — all over place! Sorry/you’re welcome.

The envelope please…

March 21, 2009 in free stuff,giveaway,winner with 6 Comments

Before I announce the winner of HLAC’s first ever Super Skanktacular Saturday Giveaway, I need to take care of some bloggity business. As previously mentioned, Stacy from Louisville (aka “Stace”), was disqualified from the contest. I did, however offer an alternative prize for one of her fabulous giveaways. Stacy, may I offer to you for future giveaways, Lint from my Dryer:

(You’re welcome! Don’t mention it.)

Now, on to the contest. I will tell you that 2 out of 3 of the judges put a great amount of thought into choosing the winner of this contest. (One of them thinks I’m very silly and that I should probably go grocery shopping. But I digress…) The following is an excerpt from an email from one of the judges:

“ok- here’s my 2 top ones – Jake and RRRRamone….but it’s tough..the GI Joes need women….and I want to pick Helen just because….
but….the more I think of it being the Kardashian sisters….it seems they need to go to Tony C to get to know the GI Joe guys….is that sick and twisted?
RRRamone at least needs to get some feet….but Jake and the antennae story is really funny….I keep vacillating….ok – final answer – Toncy C -…I can’t quit you!!!!”

When all was said and done, there were four favorites. Tony C and Jake both had compelling stories, Rrramone was a strong contender for all of the judges, and regardless of the results of future contests, he will definitely be getting some feet.

But there can only be one winner. Two out of the three judges agreed that one story deserved to win. And while the story was compelling, what put this contestant over the top was the introduction of a new word forever burned into the judges’ minds:

Prostitot:

Congratulations Erin! Please email me at katdishrich@gmail.com with your shipping address. Non-winning entries will be forwarded to this week’s contest. Enter early. Enter often!

Later today, I will introduce the next group, “Slutty Girlz Rock Band” featuring the musical stylings of Miss Amy Winehouse! Stay tuned…

Super Skanktacular Saturday Giveaway!

March 14, 2009 in free stuff,giveaway,me being silly,skanktacular with 25 Comments

Okay, okay…I know I said I had reached my self-imposed limit on ridiculous blogs posts for the week, but this is different. I’m giving away free stuff! To celebrate the fact that I have FINALLY convinced my daughter to get rid of a certain collection of dolls that I’m not very fond of, for the next few Saturdays, I will be giving away groupings of them.

Here’s the deal: In the comments section or via email (katdishrich@gmail.com), convince me how much you want these lovely little dolls and accessories pictured. Leave a caption, tell a story, make me laugh! I’m not going to judge the contest, because I don’t want to have to decide. So, I’ll probably ask Jeff, Tamara and my husband Ron to pick a winner. Special consideration will be given to those who link this post to other blogs authors who have never read this blog. Come on, spread the love that is Hey Look A Chicken! Ready? Let’s do this thing!

Super Skanktacular Saturday Giveaway No. 1:

The Kardashian Sisters Collection:


What better way to kick off this contest than dolls representing Kim, Khloe and Kourtney Kardashian? Surely these ladies represent all things Skanktacular!


Come on, people. You gotta admit, the resemblance is uncanny! You will also receive 3 additional skanky outfits:

Contest deadline next Saturday, 9:00 AM central time. At that time, I will also reveal the next group of dolls: “Slutty Girlz Rock Band!” Good Luck!

EDITOR”S NOTE: Annoying mother and bail money not included.

UPDATE: I realize many of you are saying, “Sure, those dolls are Skankalicious, but I really don’t have a need for them.” I am also willing to send these dolls to a friend, beautifully gift wrapped in an empty Fancy Feast cat food box, with gift card included. The longer these things are in my house, the more likelihood that my daughter will change her mind! Enter early, enter often!